Short Stories
by Helen Pattskyn
Summary: A collection of mostly "short" stories that I'll post as the Muses hit. All Jack/Ianto. Mostly fluff, but some serious: hurt/comfort, romance. Most rated T. Some chapters more mature themed: smut or violence, not too graphic. Later chapters AU.
1. The Date

**Jack / Ianto Stories…**

1 - 4 chapter long Jack / Ianto stories… second chapter contains spoilers for Adrift…

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**The Date**

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_**A/N:**__  
First Chapter set before my story 'You Deep Me Warm at Night' (sorry 'bout that, I don't usually write out of order…)_

_I started thinking about Jack and Ianto's first date after Jack came back and this is what I came up with… just a bit of fluff, really, but these two have crawled into my head and refuse to go away… _

_**I truly appreciate the kind words and reviews from the first fic I wrote in this category – thank you!!**_

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"Flowers?" Ianto couldn't keep the startled tone from his voice when he opened his door to find Jack standing there with a bouquet of mixed flowers in his hand. (He was on time, too, even though Ianto had spent the better part of the last hour convincing himself that Jack would either be late or not show up at all.)

"I was under the impression that flowers were part of twenty-first century dating customs," Jack quipped back with a sly grin. "Have I been misinformed?"

Ianto frowned. "No. No, flowers are part of 'twenty-first century dating customs.' Erm…Would you like to come in…?" he asked, a bit hesitantly.

"Don't mind if I do," Jack flashed another one of those grins, the kind of smile that had gotten under Ianto's skin and had refused to go away… but that had been a lifetime ago. After Jack left, everything had changed.

Ianto watched as the other man walked around his tidy little living room. Jack had never been here before. He was clearly taking it all in, though, all of the little details. There was no telling what he was reading into it.

"Cozy," he said after a moment, as if he realized he'd been caught 'snooping', even if he was doing it in plain sight.

Ianto wasn't sure how to respond, so he ignored the comment. He wasn't entirely certain 'cozy' was a good word to sum up his decorating anyway. He liked things simple – so why exactly he was going out on a date with Jack Harkness, he wasn't sure – but since everything else in his life was complicated, he kept his flat as simple as possible. Neutral colors, pastels, soft, quiet things that put him at ease. It wasn't just that he didn't particularly care for clutter; it was that he knew he didn't have time to dust a bunch of stupid knick-knacks anyway, so why have them?

"I'll just put these in water," the Welshman said of the flowers, "You can have a seat if you'd like."

"Sure," Jack flashed another smile. What Ianto didn't notice was the nervousness underneath it. The last few days had been quiet, although quiet was pretty much a relative term when one lived on top of a ff… but John was gone and (so far) nothing else had popped up to disturb the peace. "Is there anything in particular you'd like to see tonight?" Jack asked in a casual tone.

Ianto leaned back from the sink so he could stare into the living room. "What?"

"A movie, remember?"

"Oh, right. Computer's on the desk there, why don't you see what's playing?"

"Oooh, he trusts me with his keyboard," Jack teased.

Ianto found himself grinning over his shoulder despite the reservations he'd been having all day about whether or not this was such a good idea. Maybe he should just leave well enough alone and _not_ pick back up where they'd left off when Jack went running off after some doctor. His misgivings about the whole affair only got worse with Jack right here, in his living room.

"I guess I should go and change all of my personal passwords after you leave, huh?" Ianto managed to tease back anyway.

"Why? don't you think I could hack into them if I wanted?"

Ianto chuckled. Then, "I don't know. Are you any good at computers?" After all, what _did_ any of them know about him? 'Jack' wasn't even Jack's real name.

"Oh… I know my way around a hard drive," the Captain responded in a lascivious tone that caused Ianto to blush.

Ianto put the flowers on the table. It was reasonably nice bouquet all things considered; he didn't imagine that Jack was much of a flowers and chocolate kind of guy.

He joined Jack by the desk. "Anything good playing?" he asked.

"Here's something about a kid who can teleport at will and the secret society whose out to kill him over it. Looks exciting."

"It looks like pure rubbish."

"Yeah, but we could go and pick apart all the mistakes… cute actor too. So's she," he pointed to a picture of the lead-actress on the computer screen.

Ianto gave him a look.

"All right…next. Teenaged girl gets knocked up but refuses to drop out of high school? And she is kinda cute, in a pregnant teenager sort of way."

Ianto gave him another look.

"Ok. Nix that. What about this, romantic comedy about the woman whose always the brides maid and never the bride," Jack swiveled the monitor so Ianto could see over his shoulder; it wasn't lost on him that the young Welshman was keeping a discrete distance, observing that three feet of personal space rule that Jack had always found annoying.

"We could just stay in," he suggested. "I could run to the video store, maybe pick up some Chinese on my way back. You do still fancy Chinese, don't you?" his tone was cool.

Jack turned, crossing his arms over his chest, "It's not much of a date if you do all the running."

"You could come with me, I suppose."

The Captain stood up and stepped closer, right into that three foot ring of personal space. Although Ianto didn't back away, he didn't respond either, not the way he used to. "You know, the whole point of going out on a date is going _out _– and not just to the video store or to pick up some Chinese take-out – which isn't what I had in mind when I suggested dinner and a movie."

"All right," Ianto didn't look at him, not directly. "How about that one?" he nodded at the computer screen over Jack's shoulder. "Unless of course you'd rather not see a period piece because you were there or something."

"A period piece sounds great, " he didn't even bother to turn and look at the screen.

"The next showing isn't for an hour yet. The theatre isn't far from here, maybe fifteen minutes… "

"So what would you like to do to kill forty five minutes?" the Captain inquired, raised eyebrows suggestivley.

The younger man's expression remained impassive. "We should probably get there early if you want to get a decent seat."

"Right," Jack forced a smile. He tried to reach for Ianto's coat, but the younger man was faster, getting it on before Jack could offer his assistance. "You know if you don't want to do this…"

"No, I've been wanting to see that film for ages but haven't managed to find the time." Ianto didn't help Jack with his coat.

"I wasn't talking about the movie."

"Well what do you expect?" the younger man's tone was caustic. "It isn't _just_ that you left us, Jack, that you abandoned us. It's the way you did it. We thought we'd lost you! " Ianto's voice caught.

Jack understood – the thing from the rift, Abbadon. It had left him in limbo, not quite dead, not quite alive for all those days until he finally found his way back to life again… _fixed point in time…_ that's what the Doctor had called him… a fixed point in time… a fact… _**wrong**_…

Ianto was still talking: "We really thought we'd _lost_ you. But then… then you left us! You didn't even have the decency to say good-bye before you ran off after… after some doctor!"

"I didn't have time… "

"You wouldn't have even if you had."

"Maybe not," Jack conceded to the accusation, to the hurt tone in Ianto's voice. "I'm sorry." _Abandoned… _he realized he hadn't thought about anything – anyone – but himself. He'd waited a century to find the Doctor again, a version of the Doctor that would remember him and when that happened, he didn't think, he just acted. _Just ran… _

"You left us, Jack. You left us and then just like that, there you were, back again without any explanation or warning, and… and you've spent the last few days pretending that you were never even away, that nothing's changed. Even after all that business with John Hart – _assuming_ that's his real name because apparently names don't mean much where you two come from. And _now_ we're are just supposed to go out on a date, out to a movie, dinner, like a regular couple of blokes…?"

"What do you want?" Jack asked in earnest. "Do you want an explanation, do you _want _to know where I was, _when_ I was, what I was doing – ?" _how many times I died… _"Because if you do, all you have to do is ask."

"No," the hurt in the younger man's tone caught the Captain off guard.

Hurting over feeling like they'd been abandoned he could understand but Ianto's tone was filled with such defeat, it tore Jack in two.

"I realize it's none of my business, Jack," Ianto told him. "None of it is. If it were, I wouldn't have to ask, you'd just tell me. Us. I'm not the only one who's upset."

"I know. But what I'm asking here is what _you_ want to know."

"I want to know that I can trust you."

The older man blinked – but he didn't make the mistake of hesitating, "You can trust me."

"I'm not asking you to never go away again, just … just next time don't do it without telling somebody. Unless of course that's really too much to ask."

Jack couldn't help the smile, "I promise, the next time I go chasing off to the end of the universe, I'll leave a note."

Ianto stopped just short of asking if he was serious about the end of the universe part. There really was no telling with Jack. "All right then. We should go if we're going to get a decent parking spot."

Despite the twisting knives in his gut, Jack managed to flash another one of those wry little smirks. "You know, I think I like you this way."

"What way?"

"Decisive. You turned into a real 'man of action' while I was gone. Maybe I should go away more again – just for fun."

"Don't you dare."

Jack chuckled a little more falling into easy stride next to the younger man as the barriers between them finally started to crumble away…

**CHAPTER TWO CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ADRIFT!!**


	2. Angry

**Angry**

_Set during __Adrift__ after Jack gets back from the island… _

* * *

_Haven't you ever lost someone…_ Gwen's words echoed through Jack's mind. She knew better. He knew she knew better. She knew –

_She knew just how to get to me,_ Jack realized. (fHe also realized he'd known it sitting there with her, he'd just chosen to ignore it, chosen to let her get to him, let her convince him to let Jonah's mother see him… He only prayed it wouldn't do more harm than good…)

_You're wrong…_ _you're a __**fact**__… a fixed point in time… _something the Doctor couldn't bear to be around… _even the TARDIS tried to shake you off… _the Doctor's words joined Gwen's in the back of Jack's mind. A lot had changed since then. A lot had stayed the same -

"Jack – " a familiar, usually welcome voice, interrupted his thoughts. "Are you busy?"

Jack didn't look up at Ianto, standing there, waiting – in fact, he looked _down_ at the stack of papers on his desk, as if they were somehow extremely important. He hadn't been paying the slightest attention to what he'd been doing since he got back from the island (he didn't even know what half the stuff on his desk was at the moment, but that didn't stop him from pretending to be busy sorting it out.)

"Jack – ?"

"No – not busy," he told the truth as if it were a lie because if he was busy, Ianto would probably go away and leave him alone.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Nope. I'm good," Jack flashed half a smile over his shoulder and went back to trying to figure out what exactly he was sorting through, anyway. There were a bunch of reports – rift activity – some news clippings Tosh had printed up because she thought they might be relevant to something – Ianto was still standing in the doorway. Jack looked over at him, "You need something?" He asked, more sharply than he'd meant to. He wanted to calm down before they 'discussed' what had happened today.

"I know you're angry – "

"Why should I be angry?"

"You told me to leave it alone."

"Didn't you?" Jack did his best to sound surprised – since he seemed to be making a day of denying the obvious (at least to himself), he might as well deny knowing it could only have been Ianto who gave Gwen the location of the hospital. He _had _told Ianto to leave it alone – he'd said it emphatically. He'd meant it – this was his secret – and he kept it secret for good reason, he didn't want to have happen exactly what had happened –

And Ianto was giving him a look that clearly said he wasn't buying into the act.

"Didn't anybody ever tell you not to look a gift horse in the mouth?" Jack wanted to know.

Ianto almost laughed at that one – which was exactly what Jack had wanted (he only wished it had been a better laugh.)

Ianto came over and sat on the edge of Jack's desk and looked at him – really looked at him - Jack had no idea what he was seeing, but when he spoke, Ianto's tone was a lot softer than Jack had expected it to be: "Honestly, Jack – how angry with me are you?"

_Trusted friend…colleague… someone I can depend on… _Jack stopped shuffling meaningless paperwork around his desk and looked up at Ianto, really seeing him. "I'm angry," he admitted. "I didn't want – " he hadn't wanted anyone to know. Ianto knew that.

"I'm sorry – I only did it – "

Jack waved it aside. He knew why Ianto had done it. Gwen wouldn't have given up – they both knew it, he just hadn't wanted to admit it.

"I ah – " Ianto stood to leave, "I guess I'll let you get back to work –"

Jack caught him by the arm, "I haven't told you just _how_ angry yet," his tone was dark.

Ianto swallowed – "How angry?"

"I'm angry enough that the make-up sex is going to be really, _**really**_ good," Jack finished off with a lascivious grin that brought a grin to Ianto's face as well – and Jack realized just how much he loved Ianto's smile, "So I hope you weren't planning on getting any sleep tonight."

"I think I'll manage."

"Good – now how about that cup of coffee?" because somewhere on his desk there had to be something that needed his attention... he'd need something to get him through the rest of the day and sending Tosh and Owen home in the middle of the afternoon would look suspicious, even coming from him...

"One coffee coming up -"

"Ianto," Jack tugged at the young man's arm, pulling him down into a kiss -

"It won't happen again - I promise."

"I know. I know I can trust you. But I just wanted to say that I - appreciate you. And I don't just mean the coffee."

"You're welcome."


	3. The End is Where We Start From PT 1

**The End is Where We Start From **

**PART ONE**

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**-- MAJOR Spoilers for "Exit Wounds" (last episode fSeason Two)f**

**If you haven't sfeen it yet and you don't want the ending spoilfed, STOP NOW.**

**Ok - fair enough? You've been warned.**

* * *

f

_**A/N:f**_

_After having a really bad day, I found the last episode for season 2 at youtube and watched… I'd already known I wanted to write something for it, after having seen some spoilers and doing some reading because Torchwood has really gotten under my skin this season (I was totally lukewarm on it when it started.)_

_So anyway – this is what I've come up with… there's a lot of character introspection, not a lot of action, not even a whole lot of plot… basically the kind of stuff they don't show us on screen because it's only an hour-long show :-)_

_If you enjoy, please leave comments… thanks!_

* * *

Red. Wet. Slick.

Blood.

If he moved he'd step in it. If he didn't move – but he couldn't move – he couldn't take his eyes off the projection on the med-bay wall of the Turnmill Plant – he couldn't move because if he moved – _can't this just be a bad dream… __**please**__… _he couldn't even feel the tears streaming down his face – he couldn't feel anything – it was all just so – cold. Empty.

Black. It was like the world had gone black even though he was standing there, staring at it, wanting to move and interact with it but his body just refused to cooperate…

He became dully aware of the man behind him – John Hart – or whatever his name was – whoever he was – whatever he was – Ianto found himself turning around – all the things he wanted to do – to reach out – to hold Gwen – to sit by Jack – Tosh – to say good-bye – but even with all the things he wanted to do the one thing he did do was the one thing he didn't want to do – he turned and looked into the eyes of the man who had started it all. The last four hours – the four hours before that – the whole day – everything – everything that burned red and bloody – everything that burned cold –

"It's all right," Jack's voice – penetrating the haze. _All right – ?_ How was it all right – ? How could it ever _be _all right – "Ianto – " Jack said his name again – Ianto realized that he'd said it several times, trying to get to him. Get to him even though he was just standing there – just – staring – "_Ianto –_ "

Jack was standing right in front of him – Gwen too – and Tosh – Tosh was still on the floor – the blood on the floor was hers. And Owen –

"Ianto – it's all right – "

"No it's not!" Ianto backed further into the wall – it wasn't all right – it would never be all right! Tosh – Owen – Lisa – everybody – everybody who ever came into this place – everybody associated with Torchwood – everybody died – _**everybody**_ – everybody but Jack… he glared at John Hart again – but – then – hands – arms –

"Ianto – "

He felt himself drawn into the warmth of Jack's embrace – he heard himself sobbing but he couldn't feel it – he couldn't _feel_ anything, not even Jack's strength – his warmth – Tosh – Owen – everybody – everybody but Jack –

"I shouldn't have left her, Jack – I should've done more – done something – " he never should have let Owen go to the power station – he should have been the one there – not Owen – he'd made the call, he'd said he would go – he should have – should have shot his way through the streets if he'd had to –

"Shhh – " Jack held him tight.

"It's _not_ all right, Jack – " _it's not all right – _

"I know."

Ianto found Jack's face in the dark – somehow – found his eyes – those eyes – "You – you know – ?"

"I know."

"Ianto – " Gwen – she was there too, right next to Jack –

"Why don't you go – catch up with Rhys – get some rest," Jack said to her without taking his eyes off Ianto.

"I – " she began to protest.

"Go on. I've – I'll – take care of everything here."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure. Go be with your husband."

She offerd up a weary smile – her eyes were still filled with tears – but she left – left them – _at least she has some place to go…_

Jack held Ianto as they made their way up the steps away from the blood – he sat Ianto down – made him a cup of tea, "Can't vouch for how good it is," he seemed to be trying to make a joke.

Ianto didn't laugh; he took the, but he didn't laugh. He looked back towards the med-bay – Tosh – Owen – _it should have been me today…_ "I'm sorry, Jack."

"Nothing to be sorry for," Jack sat down next to him on the couch, but not too close.

"Where – " where was John?

"It doesn't matter. He'll be gone soon."

Ianto nodded – he drank his tea without tasting it. "I ah – I should – " _I should help you clean up… _clean up… _oh God…Tosh…_ _Owen_…

"You should go home and get some rest. I've got it covered here."

"Jack – "

"Go home, Ianto. That's an order."

"Yes, Sir," Ianto couldn't help the cold tone in his voice. Home. What was home – ? Four wall and a cupboard full of single-serving dinners? He stood – he walked – one foot in front of the other – automatic pilot – "I ah – I'll be in tomorrow to help you finish up with the loose ends." _Final log outs... _

"You don't have to – "

"Part of my job, Sir."

"If ah – if you need anything – later – "

"I'll be fine," Ianto lied.

Jack didn't respond.

…………………

Jack leaned into the cool morgue wall next to the drawer he'd just closed – Toshiko.

Her smile danced in his mind – her laugh – her voice – the scent of her cologne – delicate. Floral. "I'm going to miss you," Jack told her quietly.

And Owen. _You're going to live forever and me, I'm going to die forever…_ "I'm so sorry I brought you back just for this…"

_One of these days we're going to run out of space…_

Tosh. Owen. Canary Warf. Rose – she wasn't gone but she was gone – lost – everybody he loved, he lost… Gray…

How many more people would he bury? He'd spent nearly two thousand years buried under Cardiff and he'd hardly aged a day – another gray hair – maybe two – maybe a wrinkle …_you are a fact… a fixed point…all wrong… _something a Time Lord couldn't forgive. Couldn't get too close to. The only person who might be able to spend part of a lifetime with him was the only person who couldn't…

"How many more will I have to bury, Doctor?" he asked the absent Time Lord. "How do you do it – how do you go on after losing somebody? Because I gotta tell you, I thought I had it figured out and then today happened – "

Today.

What a cruel joke, that word today.

For the rest of them it _had_ been today. One day.

But for him…?

Jack shuddered under the weight of night-mare memories, but refused to give into them – not now – not yet… he'd deal with it – but not now. Not until he had cleaned up – not until he'd – he'd done what he could here – done what he had to do –

But even refusing to give into them, Jack couldn't force the memories to go away – to be still in his mind.

Waking up – choking – darkness – unable to breathe – the weight of the earth crushing him – pushing the air out of him – dying – waking up again in silent darkness, the only sensation that of being crushed under the weight of the dirt – the weight of his years… his memories… Gray… losing his hand in the attack… going back… searching… searching but never finding… what kind of nightmare had he endured to turn into the person he'd become?

And Cardiff… everything that happened that day… the days before… _Ianto…_ his gentle smile…his hands… _even when you're not here you keep me warm at night… _Gwen's laugh… Owen's snide little comments… Tosh's shy quiet nature… so many others before them he'd loved… where were they – what had happened to them after the city went up in smoke and flame – ?

Only it _hadn't _happened, not yet. That was the thing with time travel. What he had seen wouldn't happen for nearly two millennia… and when it did, he'd be there. He'd stop it.

Jack shuddered with the effort of holding it back – the effort of keeping holding back the weight of the last one thousand, nine hundred thirty one years – the last twenty four hours.

How many more times would he love and then bury the ones he'd loved – love again – bury them – move on – love – bury – how much more hurt could he take be before he finally gave up and stopped caring – stopped loving – stopped moving on? There had to be a limit on what the human heart could take and no matter what the Doctor said – no matter what had happened to him – he was still human – he still _**needed**_ to love, be loved – to hold somebody in the dark – _but someday it's going to be too much, isn't it?_

Jack wiped the fresh moisture from his eyes and rested his hand against the drawer – he ignored the sounds of the approaching footsteps, even when they stopped, just a few paces from him.

"So is this how you bury your dead?" John asked.

"I – want you anywhere but here, tonight," Jack didn't turn around. "We'll talk about what to do with you tomorrow." He didn't care how deep his words might dig into the other man – he didn't even care that John had come back for him – for the rest of them. Tosh and Owen were still gone.

"I – "

"I mean it," Jack's tone was one of warning.

"This is no time to be alone, Jack – it's not just what you just put in there – "

"Get out."

"Jack – "

"**I said get out!"** he turned, letting the full force of his anger out, not caring whether or not John really deserved it.

John took a step back – but didn't retreat. "You just spent – what – a little under two thousand years underground – give or take however long you were in there – "

"And I'll cope with that on my own."

"You could have avoided yourself you know."

"What?"

"You didn't have to go and have them stick you in the freezer – you could have gone away – you live forever, right? You could have just simply gone some place you'd never been before so you wouldn't run into yourself – nipped back at the appropriate moment – maybe even sooner – "

Jack didn't give into the fresh tears biting at his eyes to get out. John knew exactly why he hadn't just 'gone away' – why he'd had them 'stick him in the freezer' – he could never have gone on another hundred years knowing what was going to happen – living with it – not being able to stop it. He hadn't been ready to deal with the – the weight of – of the dirt. The memories. Gray. Ianto – Gwen – Owen – Tosh – _b__ut maybe if I'd known what was happening… _maybe he could have somehow stopped – this – Tosh – Owen – maybe…

Jack watched John's retreat then – he didn't even know why the other man had suddenly decided to leave him alone. It didn't matter. He sagged against the wall in front of Tosh's 'grave' and allowed the weight of the last nineteen hundred thirty one years and twenty four hours to take him…

…………………………………………….

Ianto rose before his alarm went off. He wasn't even sure he'd slept.

He went through the routine of his morning without thinking about it. He showered (even though he'd showered last night.) He shaved. He drank his coffee. He brushed his teeth. He put on his suit. He walked out his door, locking it behind him. He got in his car and he drove.

He opened up the office that served as the public 'front' for Torchwood – but he left the sign on the door swung around to 'closed.'

He went downstairs.

There was no sign of Jack.

Or John.

For a fleeting moment, Ianto wondered if they'd run off together in the middle of the night – and almost as quickly as he'd had the thought, he hated himself for it.

Even if Jack had run off, he couldn't exactly hold it over his head, not after yesterday.

Jack. Buried. Alive. He hadn't said for how long – but Torchwood had only been around since the eighteen hundreds so – so unless some farmer somehow came along and found him – _but if that had happened, Jack wouldn't have been waiting in the morgue, ready to come back at just the right moment…_ almost the right moment.

Tosh.

Owen.

Ianto realized he hadn't actually thought about them once this morning as he went about his routine. "Right," he forced himself to not think about it now. He walked past the med-bay, barely looking down – it looked like wherever he was, Jack had cleaned up before he left…

It wasn't until he got to the coffee maker and saw – Owen – Tosh – their cups – sitting, washed – ready for morning coffee – "Oh God – " his hands shook as he picked up the mugs – simple – everyday things – the reminder that things would never be the same again…

_It's all right – _

It wasn't all right.

But Jack had known that. He'd even admitted to it –

Ianto left the coffee and went to look for him because if he'd run out on them again – after all this – _I'll never forgive him – not – not for this – not if he's really left us..._


	4. The End is Where We Start From PT 2

**The End is Where We Start From **

**PART TWO**

* * *

**-- MAJOR Spoilers for "Exit Wounds" (last episode Season Two)**

**If you haven't seen it yet and you don't want the ending spoiled, STOP NOW.**

**Ok - fair enough? You've been warned.**

* * *

"Ianto – " Jack started as he stepped out of his shower –

"Jack – Sir – I – sorry – you – you weren't downstairs – " Ianto flushed a deep shade of pink. He had only ever come into Jack's private quarters at the Captain's express invitation, but when Jack wasn't anywhere else, Ianto just had to see the empty closet for himself before he was willing to believe that Jack was really gone, that he'd actually left them. "I'm sorry," he said again, even if he didn't tell Jack exactly what he was sorry for (for thinking for even a second that Jack might really leave them again.) "I didn't mean to intrude." He handed Jack a towel.

"It's no intrusion," Jack's voice was uncharacteristically soft. "And you don't have to call me 'sir' – I thought we were past that."

Ianto looked up, startled by Jack's tone – he met the Captain's gaze and saw the world of hurt that he'd missed there yesterday – the hurt he'd missed because he was so consumed by his own pain it had been impossible to see. "I'm sorry." _Sorry I didn't trust you enough – sorry I actually thought I might find an empty closet – sorry I didn't go to the power plant like I was supposed to – sorry it had to be Owen – sorry I didn't realize you were hurting too... _but Jack could be so stoic –

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Jack seemed to falter a little - step closer – then back –

The alarm buzzed, indicating that someone had come down.

"That's probably John," Jack said, pulling back just a little further – Ianto found Jack looking at him but he couldn't even begin to read what might be going through Jack's mind.

"I ah – I should go – get things started," Ianto said – and before he lost his nerve, he leaned in – Jack jmet the kiss half way. Ianto closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment..._sometimes all we get around here are moments... _"I'd better get down there before he gets into something –"

"I'll be down in a minute – think you can keep from killing him for that long?"

"I'll try my best, Sir," Ianto said with a bit of a wink that made Jack laugh – it was a good sound to hear after everything that had happened…

………………………………

Jack walked Ianto and Gwen back up to the street level. Ianto had tried to protest leaving – rift activity didn't stop just because they suffered causalities – but they needed time – both Ianto and Gwen – they needed time to grieve – to heal – just a couple of days – it was all he could afford to give them – but he could man the posts for that long alone.

"I ah – I'll call you – later maybe," Gwen said, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

"I'll be here," Jack responded – _I'll always be here…a fact… a fixed point in time…_ he'd seen the end of the universe once… would he see it again, he wondered… would he really be the last thing left standing when everything else flew apart into nothingness – ? He realized Ianto was still there. "Ianto – go home – "

"There's nothing there."

"What?"

"Sorry – " Ianto turned to look at Jack – it seemed like he hadn't really meant to say that about nothing being there, "I – what I meant so say was – well – would you like some company – just – just a friend – ?"

Jack gave him a measured look, wondering if after everything that had happened maybe 'friends' wasn't such a bad idea, even after that brief kiss earlier – _he knows what happened… _Ianto knew he'd been buried alive in 27 AD – knew he'd been unburied sometime the last century. One thousand nine hundred and thirty one years – _give or take a century in the freezer_... _What does Ianto see now, looking at me like that…? _Jack wondered. _ A friend? A lover? A former lover…? _Ianto might see him the way a Time Lord could, but even human eyes had to be able see the difference now, knowing what had happened – how many years had passed in twenty four hours. But as much as he wanted to send Ianto home, he didn't want to be alone with the weight of the years crushing down on him like they had last night, like they would tonight - tomorrow night ... how long would have the nightmares...? Eternity? "Yeah. Yeah, I think I could use a friend."

"Have ah – have you eaten at all – breakfast?"

"No – no – and it's past breakfast time." _Time…_what a funny word...

"I know. But I didn't eat anything this morning – I thought maybe you'd like to go and get a bite."

"Yeah, sure – why not. I'll just go back down and get my coat – "

"I'll get it for you – meet you in the garage?"

"Yeah. Sure." Jack watched him go back in – so – accommodating.

…………………………_.._

"_You've never done this before, have you?"_

_Ianto blushed, "I ah – well – no. Not with a man. Does that bother you?"_

"_No."_

……………………………

"Jack?" Ianto called him for a second time. "You all right?" _stupid question…_ none of them were all right_. None of them…_ it was just the three of them now.

"Yeah – fine – thanks," Jack slid into the passenger side of Ianto's car. "Not taking the company truck?" He tried to make a joke but it sounded flat.

Ianto returned his smile anyway, "I figured since we were off the clock – "

"We're never off the clock."

"Yes. I know."

"Sorry."

"No worries," Ianto offered up another smile that seemed to go unnoticed. "Where would you like to go for lunch?"

"Surprise me."

"Somehow I expect that's going to be difficult."

……………………………………….

_Jack held the quivering young man in his arms, "Not bad for a first time _–_?"_

"_No – not – not bad at all – " Ianto seemed out of breath._

_Jack chuckled, "You going to be able to walk tomorrow?"_

"_Tomorrow – yeah – tomorrow'll be fine – just don't ask me to do too much more tonight."_

"_You're off the clock until morning…"_

………………………………_.._

They shared a quiet lunch; neither spoke much, but neither was left feeling uncomfortable in the silence. Once in a while Ianto would look across the table at the man sitting opposite him – Jack – Captain Jack Harkness… his captain. He wasn't sure quite when he'd started thinking about Jack in terms of 'his' – it was silly really, all things considered – but if Jack could have his doctor, his impossible elusive love, he could have his captain, a man who was equally impossible and ultimately elusive.

Jack looked up and smiled then: "I guess we should be getting back – " he reached for the bill.

Ianto was faster, "I asked – my treat."

"I make more than you do."

"And I'll expect you to remember that when my birthday comes around."

Jack chuckled, just a little.

"There's a question for you," Ianto asked, as the waitress took the bill and his credit card.

"What's that?"

"When's your birthday?"

"I – don't really – it doesn't quite – correlate – " Jack seemed both startled and confused by the question.

"So how do you keep track of how old you are?"

Jack's frown was lost to him as the waitress had returned with the chit for him to sign – Ianto helped Jack with his coat, just like always. "Or is it that after so long you stop counting birthdays?" He asked as they made their way out to the street.

"I – still count – years. I started counting from when I got here – but I suppose that after a while being off by a year or two doesn't really matter – why do you ask?" Jack queried as they slid into the car.

"Well it's kind of hard to give somebody a birthday present if you don't know when their birthday is."

"You – don't have to get me anything – "

"I already got it – I just never knew when I should give it," said Ianto, wishing he hadn't brought it up, not with the way Jack was acting. After all, there was always Christmas…

"When did you buy me a present?" Jack wanted to know.

"While back. I just – saw it and thought of you – it's nothing special, really."

"So?"

"So?" Ianto asked.

"You're not even going to tell me what it is?"

The playful tone in Jack's voice made him feel better, even if he was pretty sure it was counterfeit – "You'll have to wait until your birthday to find out," he gave over a wry grin.

Jack laughed, "Well that's going to be difficult, now isn't it – ?"

"I suppose so."

"So – what do you want me to do – just pick a day?"

"That's one option."

"All right. Today."

"And how far off is that, really?" Ianto teased – but then this dark cloud came over Jack's features; he looked away a long moment before finding his voice again:

"You're right."

"Jack – "

"No – you're right – if I'm going to just 'pick a day' it should mean something," he was quiet a moment more, as if lost in thought, watching the city pass by them as Ianto drove. "It ah – it was spring. When they dug me up. Torchwood found me – guess I shouldn't have been surprised. That was in nineteen oh one, by the way – just in case you were wondering." His tone was casual, even if the statement was anything but.

Ianto didn't respond; he couldn't. He didn't know how. Nineteen oh one – a hundred and seven years ago – that meant that Jack had been buried – alive – for nineteen hundred and twenty four years… no, it wasn't as if he didn't know the facts – but knowing the facts and really_ thinking_ about them – adding up the numbers – coming up with the answers…_thinking _about what it all really meant... the meal Ianto had just eaten turned to rock in his gut.

Nineteen hundred and twenty four _**years**__…_ all that time – buried. Alive. Suffocated. Crushed. Starving… dehydrated… Ianto cast a quick glance over at Jack. He hardly looked a day over thirty… _nineteen hundred and twenty four years… in the dark. Alone… _dying and coming back and dying again over and over with no way out… Ianto couldn't imagine any pain worse – any torture more horrific – anything more terrible than knowing it was his own brother who had done that to him – willfully – maliciously – knowing just exactly what would happen to him and how long it would be before anyone might find him – might go looking… Ianto was barely aware of the tears threatening to break through…he only barely felt the touch of Jack's hand on his leg – _nineteen hundred and twenty four years of crushing, suffocating, starving death and it hardly looks as if a day has gone by… _

Ianto looked over at Jack again, desperately searching for anything about him that was different – anything that had changed – a gray hair – a wrinkle – but there was nothing. He didn't look any older just – just – his eyes – the pain – the pain that Ianto had missed yesterday – it was new. It was still there – that – haunted look.

And he only realized that Jack's hand was on his leg because he pulled it back – turned away – turned to stare out the window. "I ah – I understand. It's ok," Jack's tone was quiet.

Ianto frowned, but didn't respond to that either because he wasn't sure what Jack meant; whatever it was, though, it wasn't ok. The pain in his voice_… buried alive… _"So um – spring, you say?" Ianto asked carefully; he needed to say something, anything... he needed to figure out what exactly was going through Jack's mind... snippets of yesterday filtered through the haze of his own memory… the explosion – the city – Jack – gone – John – coming back – telling them that Jack was buried alive somewhere under Cardiff and they had to find the signal – find him – dig him out **– **but they coudln't find it – then Jack was back, suddenly, out of nowhere, just like always and everything was going to be all right – then Tosh – Owen...everything... Ianto remembered standing there, staring at the whole thing – blood – Tosh – Owen – he couldn't move – but Jack – Jack was there, holding him, trying to tell him that it would be all right. That's what he'd meant – not that it was all right, but that it would **_be_** all right... _now we move on… the end is where we start from… _

_Nineteen hundred and twenty four years… and – he came back – and he cleaned up – and he took care of everything and he made me fucking tea and what did I do for him…? _ Ianto wondered angrily at himself. Everything Jack had done for him and what did he do –? What had he **_ever_** done –?

"Yeah. Spring," Jack answered the question that Ianto had asked several long moments earlier.

"Well, it's spring now – so I suppose we could call today your birthday, if you wanted to," Ianto's tone was just as soft as Jack's.

"You don't have to do this, Ianto."

"I want to – it's what friends do right?" he reached over and found Jack's hand, fighting back the tears – _nineteen hundred and twenty four years...burried… he'd just sent he city go up in flames and – and he couldn't __**do **__anything… _it made Ianto's own feelings of helplessness yesterday seem so meager by comparison and he felt so ashamed because he had been so consumed with – everything – that he hadn't stopped to think – hadn't _wanted_ to stop and think – _nineteen hundred and twenty four years… _

"Yeah, friends," Jack's voice was barely audible.

"I – I'm sorry," Ianto said the only words he had.

"Don't be. It's not your fault. None of it is."

Ianto gave his hand a gentle squeeze and Jack squeezed back…the rest of the ride was taken in silence.


	5. The End is Where We Start From PT 3

**The End is Where We Start From **

**PART THREE**

* * *

**-- MAJOR Spoilers for "Exit Wounds" (last episode fSeason Two)f**

**If you haven't sfeen it yet and you don't want the ending spoilfed, STOP NOW.**

**Ok - fair enough? You've been warned.**

* * *

Ianto opened the door and let them in, "Place is a bit messy."

Jack just shrugged – he seemed lost in his own private thoughts.

"Well – um – have a seat," Ianto said, helping Jack off with his coat. After hanging it up, he sat down next to Jack searching for something to say – something that would make sense – bring some sense of comfort – but what was there – ?

"It's really all right, Ianto," Jack flashed one of those half-smiles; it made Ianto wonder just which one of them he was really trying to convince.

He returned the smile anyway – he searched Jack's face – his eyes – all those years – the only place he could see the weight of all those years was in Jack's eyes… he was almost surprised when Jack reached out and stroked his cheek – little displays of affection, even in private, weren't Jack's style… _but whose to say what might change in a thousand years – two thousand… _how did anyone wake up and carry on after that? After any of the things they'd seen?

"Remember the first time?" Jack asked quietly. "You know - you and me - ?"

"How could I forget? I'd never been so nervous in my whole life."

"But you made the first move – you and your stopwatch - "

"Just because I knew what I wanted didn't mean I knew what to do with in once I'd gotten it," Ianto confessed, ferling the rush of warmth to his cheeks.

Jack laughed, just a little. "I missed that – the way you blush. I guess that sounds strange – for you it was – it was just a day – "

"But it was more than that for you," Ianto said quickly, maybe too quickly -- a sudden pained look came over Jack's face... _Nineteen hundred and twenty four years…of course he's hurting... _Ianto took Jack's hand in his, curled his fingers tightly into the other man's - he'e never been one for silly little displays of affection either, he realized. Maybe that was why sometimes it felt like Jack had no idea..._you keep me warm at night too, Jack Harkness..._ "When we realized you were gone – that he'd taken you -- and you could be any place -- any time – I have never felt so helpless, Jack. Never. I didn't know how I was ever going to find you – if I was ever going to see you again. And the city," Ianto closed his eyes a moment – the city… "You would have been so proud of Gwen, though – she took right over – she was brilliant." _They all were..._

"I'm proud of all of you – I always will be," he looked down at the hand Ianto had curled around his -- he gave it a squeeze and then pulled back. "No matter what happens next -- I am proud to have known you. All of you."

Ianto began to understand what Jack was trying to say – trying not to say – _it's all right… don't have to do this…nineteen hundred and twenty four years… an hundred and seven years frozen… _his expression – his eyes – his face – the way Jack's hand had felt on his face a moment ago… "I can't imagine what you must've felt when you realized they were going to do to you – what it must have felt like to be trapped like that – " _dying over and over – _almost two thousand years to wonder what was happening in the future -- what was going to happen --

"It's all right," Jack's tone was soft. "It's really all right."

"No it's _not_ all right. But what matters is that you're back," Ianto told him forcefully, hoping that Jack would really understand him; he leaned into the other man then, cupping his face – drawing him in – bringing him closer – surprised at the way he hesitated, the way he was shaking even when he stopped hesitating… there were no words to express all the things Ianto wanted to say, but maybe words would only complicate things anyway... Ianto surrendered when Jack maneuvered them so he was on top, pinning Ianto pinned to the sofa – strong hands encircled his body, pulling him in so that he was pressed into Jack – Jack into him and he could hardly breathe. It was as if the other man wanted to feel every inch of him… _nineteen hundred and twenty four years…_ Ianto held onto him as tightly as he could…twenty four hours... nineteen hundred and twenty four years... a dozen lifetimes and he looked no different than he had before he left... Jack would never scar – he seemed hardly to age – but that didn't make him invulnerable… "I never thought I'd be able to do that again," Ianto told him honestly, when Jack finally allowed him a breath of air. He pressed his mouth to Jack's quickly before the other could answer. Words only complicated things -

At length, Jack slid off him, sat next to him again, held his gaze - his hands, "I don't know what I am, Ianto – all I know is that I'm a fact – a fixed point in time. An impossibility that shouldn't be. _**I **_shouldn't be – "

"You're still you."

"I'm almost two thousand years older than I was yesterday morning – "

"Which makes you long over due for that birthday present, don't you think – ?" Ianto tried to lighten the mood, but Jack caught him before he could get up – Ianto found himself looking into those eyes again – all that pain – all the loss – how many people had Jack buried over the years? How many more would he bury because he couldn't die – how did he stand it – ? _Twenty four hours for me – nineteen hundred and twenty four __**years**__ for him… _"I can't understand, Jack. I can _never _understand. But that doesn't change – it doesn't change anything -- you're still _you_." _A fact… a fixed point in time… his doctor, maybe…? _Ianto wondered. How long had Jack really been gone when he'd gone chasing after this doctor of his– ? For the rest of them it had been six months, but for Jack – ? It could have been a hundred years and they'd never know it. "You're still you," he repeated.

"Are you _sure_?" Jack's tone was ragged. "Are you_ absolutely_ certain that the – the last _day_ hasn't changed anything -- ?"

"It's changed everything. But you're still you."

Jack gave him another one of those looks that made Ianto (almost) wish he could read the other man's mind. Then he smiled, that bright Jack smile – but better than the smile, it seemed as if there was just a tiny less pain in Jack's eyes – a little less weight crushing down on him. _Hope… _"So what kind of birthday present did you get me?" he asked in a deceptively light tone that Ianto wasn't quite convinced was genuine.

_But he wants it to be,_ Ianto realized _he wants to carry on… he has to… _what choice did the man would live forever have but to carry on…? _The end is where we start from… _ Ianto returned the smile, "I'll be right back – and this time you keep your hands off my keyboard. I don't know what you did to it the last time you were here, but my computer hasn't been the same since."

"How about I poke around the hard drive a little – see if I can't fix it – ?"

Ianto gave him a look over his shoulder and vanished into the bedroom – the box was sitting in his closet, right where he'd put it.

And predictably, Jack was at his computer when he came back into the living room. "Now what did I say – ?"

"I was just looking, honest – neat screen saver, by the way."

"Precisely my point – I did not put that on there and I can't seem to get it to go away."

"Well it's not like he's not cute – and him – and her – and that thing – unless you're biased against aliens – even the Hollywood kind – "

"And it's not like I can have proper company over with – that – flashing in their faces."

"You have proper company?"

"Once in a while."

"Why Ianto Jones – I had no idea you had a life outside Torchwood – apparently I haven't been working you hard enough. I guess I'm to have to come up with some extracurricular activities for us to – pursue – in this copious spare time of yours -- "

Ianto just shook his head. It wasn't lost on him that Jack was trying just a little too hard – but he let it go. "Happy birthday," he handed over the box. Jack gave him another one of those smiles – the quiet kind that Ianto only saw were they were alone together... he watched as Jack peeled back the paper – "It's the only box I had – sorry – its not a pair of trainers, honest."

Jack chuckled anyway, "And here I thought I was getting a new pair of shoes to go running around the galaxy in – "

"Not a chance."

Still grinning, Jack opened the box – and stopped short. "Ianto – I don't know what to say."

"Do you like it?"

He lifted the antique brass spyglass out carefully. It had been perfectly restored beautifully – perfectly. There was even an inscription… _Captain Jack… _it looked like part of the original scroll work, though –

"Some other Jack, I'm sure – but you can see why I couldn't resist. Unless it really was yours – ?"

"No," Jack shook his head, "Some other Jack."

"It's not really an uncommon name – " _and it's not as if it's really your name…_

"All you've ever had to do was ask, I would tell you," Jack told him then, as if he understood the question – half-question – that Ianto was afraid to ask.

"I think I've gotten used to you as Jack – I'm not sure anything else would feel quite right."

"Me too," Jack conceeded.

"So – do you like it?"

"I love it."


	6. The End is Where we Start From Pt 4

The End is Where We Start From PT 4

(which is one more "chapter" than I'd planned to write for this little fic-let.)

-- MAJOR Spoilers for "Exit Wounds" (last episode Season Two)f

If you haven't seen it yet, don't read any ffurther!

A/N:

_Up until now I've stayed away from "back story" since the show is still running and I'm trying to stay in cannon… however, this just called for it to make a point or two… hopefully the writes on the show won't totally screw things up by giving Ianto the perfect suburban white-toast family! ;-) Hope you enjoy and thanks again for the reviews! _

* * *

Ianto picked up their coffee cups and took them to the kitchen – "You sure you don't want a refill?" He asked; he'd abandoned his waist coat and tie hours ago and his shirt was slightly unbuttoned. (_Which would make this a first_, Ianto thought with a bit of a merry smile – not that it was a first, but rather at the memory of all those other times he'd spent this much time alone with Jack – times when he hadn't retained quite so much clothing... but even fully clothed, today had been good.)

"No – thanks," Jack smiled over at him – Ianto could see the changes in him now – the tiredness. It wasn't so much that there might be one more gray hair, one more wrinkle – it was more subtle than that – more intangible. It looked like the weight of the world – of nineteen hundred and twenty four years – were bearing down on his soul – but he could still smile. Somehow, he could still smile, and that amazed Ianto more than anything else about the Captain. His captain. "I should get going," Jack continued. "It's getting late."

Ianto set the cups in the sink and returned to the living room; it wasn't just getting late, it _was_ late. He'd managed to cobble together a meal for them when dinner time rolled around, but now it was dark out and Ianto wasn't even sure where the day had gone… "You don't have to rush off if you don't want to," he offered.

"You've got to be getting sick of me by now – " Jack teased him, offering up half a smile.

"Not really," Ianto sat back down on the sofa next to Jack and was almost a little surprised at the way the other man leaned into him – let himself be held. _You're always the strong one…_ he thought. But Ianto could remember a couple of times when Jack had seemed vulnerable – breakable. _Guess being immortal doesn't mean he can't be hurt the same as the rest of us…_it seemed unfair somehow… one wish… that's how Jack had explained it… one wish made by a girl in an extraordinary moment and he could never die… Ianto ran his hands through Jack's hair and held him a little tighter…

They'd talked all afternoon – some little things – some big things – Owen – Tosh – memories – funny stories – shared experiences both bad and good. They'd cried a little – laughed a little – healed a little. It was the sort of thing that Ianto recalled as 'normal' for after a funeral. He'd been to a few, he admitted to Jack – not that Jack didn't have his whole history on a computer file somewhere – but they'd never talked about. Never talked about his alcoholic grandmother... his co-dependant mother and verbally abusive step-father, the only father he'd ever known... the master tailor... it wasn't all bad... it wasn't all good... it didn't matter. What mattered today was that Jack had returned in kind, if not in detail. He'd talked about his brother – their parents – nothing he'd said would have indicated to anyone who didn't know that they'd been lived three thousand years in the future on a planet so far away astronomers hadn't even conceived of it yet. But what mattered is that they'd talked – talking wasn't something Jack did a lot of, not about himself anyway – not in anything that resembled intimate detail.

"I really should get going," Jack's voice was so quiet, Ianto almost missed it; he sat up, "It really is getting late."

"Why don't you stay?"

"What – you mean – stay the night?"

"Why not?" Ianto asked; they'd never actually stayed a whole night together – after all, he couldn't be seen by his colleagues in the same suit he'd worn the day before, even if they did know what was going on (did it hurt just a little bit less to think of them now, Ianto wondered, than had hurt this morning...?) He'd never stayed the night with Jack in order to keep up some kind of appearance of propriety and Jack –

"I've been away from the hub too long – " he said.

"Would – you like company, then?" Ianto offered.

"You don't have to – "

"I know. I just – I'd like to be with you – tonight. Just – just be. Together."

"I ah – I'm not sure – I'm not going to be real good company, Ianto."

"I'm not asking for – anything – just – just I don't want to be alone right now." _I don't want you to be alone either…_ Jack might not have said as much, but Ianto realized now what the other man had really been through the last twenty four hours – nineteen hundred and twenty four years… Gwen had Rhys to go home to – Rhys had the comfort of not knowing any more than he did – "Neither of us has anybody else, Jack."

"You make us sound so pathetic," Jack favoured him with a little half-smile.

"Maybe in some ways we are. What's that old saying – 'ignorance is bliss' – ?"

"Yeah. Yeah it is. Would you go back – if you could – ?" Jack asked then. "If you could go back in time – tell yourself not to join up with Torchwood – would you? You can't by the way – crossing your own timeline and paradoxes all that – but – just – hypothetically – if you could do it all over again – would you tell yourself not to join Torchwood – ?"

Ianto gave him a measured look, "I'd never have met you if I did that. I'd – I never would have seen the things I've seen – what Tosh said – in her final log-out – how you showed her the wonders of the universe – she's not the only one who feels that way, Jack. I have seen so much – learned so much – _loved_ so much – and I wouldn't give that up for anything."

"Even for the things you lost?"

"I wouldn't have had them to lose if I'd made different choices." _Lisa… _he knew that's what Jack was really asking about… he never would have met her… loved her… lost her… he never would have known Owen or Toshiko or dozens of other people he'd known and cared about in one way or another over the past few years…

Jack leaned in – Ianto met him half way – it was a softer kiss than usual, but it still sent shivers up and down Ianto's spine… "I'm not going to be doing a whole lot of sleeping, you know," Jack told him after a long moment. "And I'm not going to be very good company."

"I don't mind. Besides -- I could help -- or at least make you a cup of coffee later on -- "

Jack grinned, "I knew I kept you around for somfething."

"And here I thought it was only because I looked good in a suit."

"I thought that was harrassment."

"Maybe I like being harrassed."

Jack chuckled softly...

_The end is where we start from..._ he picked up the spyglass again, while Ianto slipped into the other room to put together an over-night bag.

Jack walked over to the window and turned the spyglass up towards the stars... he wondered if even he would live long enough to really see all the wonders of the universe... _but then again there's something to be said for the things we have right here - right now. This place - this time... _maybe that's how the Doctor did it - how he got through each day knowing that he was going to live longer than everyone around him... _well... almost everyone,_ Jack smiled smuggly to himself.

* * *

The end... for now...


	7. Breakfast

_Going back in time to a (slightly) happier time in Torchwood History… _

* * *

**Short Stories: Ch. 7:**

**Breakfast**

* * *

_**Set the day after Countrycide **__(series one, episode 6)_

**Synopsis**: a brief (fluff-filled) exploration of how Jack and Ianto got from the events of Cyberwoman to delving into all the things they could do with a stopwatch…

**And as always**: My thanks to those who have reviewed and/or put this on their alerts/faves list! Oh yeah, and I don't own any of the characters, either... if I did, we'd have a few more "fluffy" scenes sprinkled into each episode! ;-)

* * *

Jack hauled himself up from his private quarters into his office. He was greeted immediately by the unexpected (if not entirely unwelcome) scent of coffee brewing. The alarm had sounded to alert him that someone had entered the Hub – and there were only so many someones it could be. The coffee narrowed that list down to one. Most days he didn't mind being coaxed from his office by the aroma Ianto Jones' coffee, but today no one was supposed to be in. Not even Ianto.

Gwen was right; aliens were easier to understand than run of the mill human psychopaths, and if anyone needed the day off after yesterday, it was the young Welshman Jack found puttering in the staff kitchen… Ianto was washing mugs, mugs the Captain was certain had been clean and up in the cupboard last night.

"Ianto?" he queried in a cautious tone; he leant up against the door jam.

"Good morning, Sir," the younger man flashed him a smile that was just a little too cheerful. "Coffee should be done any second now. Shall I bring a cup up to your office, or…?" his tone was as tightly forced as his smile.

Jack fought the urge to frown. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Just giving the cups a good bleaching – gets the stains out. Needs to be done about once a week… not that you're interested in the mundane details," he added, his smile wavering.

"I gave everybody the day off, remember?"

He nodded. "I thought I'd catch up on some paperwork," He rinsed two of the cups thoroughly under running water, leaving the others to soak, then slipped past Jack and headed for the coffee station.

"Ianto – ?"

"Yes, Sir?" he looked up.

"Shouldn't you be home resting or something?"

"Just a few bangs and bruises, Sir, nothing to get in the way of a little filing," his tone was light, but that too, was clearly forced.

"Ianto, are you all right?"

"Fine, thanks," he handed Jack his mug. "If you need me for anything, I'll be at my desk."

Jack watched him walk away; Ianto was anything but all right. He'd gotten the worst of it yesterday – and no matter _what_ he said about Torchwood London, he was the least trained of the team.

Stewing, the Captain went back to his room to put on a shirt and boots. As he dressed he conceived of an idea…

He caught up with Ianto at his desk; the younger man looked up expectantly at his approach. He got to his feet before Jack reached him. "Did you need something?" he asked in his usual amiable tone.

"Have you had breakfast yet?"

"I…" he faltered. "I don't usually bother about it this early in the morning. But if you'd like me to run up to the café and get you something…?" he offered.

"How about we both go? You should eat something."

Ianto blinked, as if completely unable to process the request. "Sir?"

"You know, breakfast, most important meal of the day…?" Jack offered up the best grin he could muster. Ianto may not believe it, but he did notice the dark circles under the his eyes. He noticed that lately, instead of filling out his suits just right, the younger man's clothes had been hanging off his body as if he'd lost weight.

I do pay attention, Yan, he thought in his direction. I care… I just don't know how to get you to believe that.

Ianto had been a walking shell since the Lisa incident, not that Jack could blame him. It was why he'd asked him to accompany them on the ill-fated trip out to the countryside, thinking a change of scenery might do him good… _how could I have known how close we'd come to losing you out there…_ Sometimes run of the mill human psychopaths were a little too much for Jack to wrap his own head around, even after over a hundred years of living on this planet.

Ianto was still blinking. "Breakfast. Sure. Sounds lovely. I'll get your coat."

"I can do that…"

"No worries," Ianto flashed him another one of those pale little smiles and got up to get the coat from Jack's office.

The Captain finished his coffee.

…………………………………………………

"Table for two today, is it Captain?" the waitress flirted with him quite unabashedly.

"Thanks, Traci," he realized that his face had grown suddenly warm under her flirtations; that didn't usually happen.

"You must come here a lot," his companion observed in quiet tone after they were seated.

Jack just grinned. "Why cook when you can go out?" he asked, brows raised. A moment later the waitress appeared with a coffee pot; she didn't bother asking if he wanted any, she just poured some into his cup. "For you too?" she turned to the younger man.

"Yes please – thank you," his tone continued to be demure. Dull.

"Do you need a minute?" asked the girl. She wasn't more than twenty – cute – and seemingly more than happy to keep making eyes at Jack.

"Ianto?" he queried in the Welshman's direction, pointedly ignoring his waitress's flirtations. Usually he gave back twice what he got, but today his heart wasn't in it.

Ianto glanced over the menu without really seeing it. He forced a smile up at the girl who was waiting to take their order. "Just a couple of eggs over, please."

"Bacon or sausage?" she inquired.

Jack noticed the way he paled at the thought. "No – thank you. Just some brown toast and jam. Thank you," he swallowed hard and began fixing his coffee, seemingly no longer able to keep up even the façade of polite conversation. He looked tired… worn out.

The waitress hardly seemed to be paying attention, however. Her gaze had been on the dark haired, blue eyed American the whole while the other was ordering. "Captain? Your usual?"

"Please," he shot her a brief, disappointing, smile before turning to his companion.

"You seem to have made quite an impression on the staff," he said in a dry tone.

Jack flushed, just a little. "Fifty-first century pheromones," he shrugged.

Ianto didn't reply… in short order their food arrived.

Jack watched him pick at his eggs and toast, barely eating. Of course it could just be that if he didn't usually have an early breakfast he really wasn't hungry, he mused… _but how much more likely is it that he's not hungry because he almost ended up on somebody's breakfast table himself? _

Jack couldn't decide whether it was a comfortable silence they shared while he ate and Ianto picked, or if the Welshman was only tolerating his presence in the most polite way he knew how because social customs dictated that when one's boss invited one out to breakfast, one didn't refuse… _and Yan could give Miss Manners lessons on social etiquette._

When the bill came, Jack paid it and wasn't surprised by the way Ianto got up, got his coat off the hook, helped him slip into it and thanked him for the meal in a cordial tone.

Jack gave him a smile, left the tip and they headed back towards the tourist office. It was a nice day; they'd walked. It wasn't far. The walk, like the meal, was taken in silence.

"You really can take the day off," he began as they neared their destination. "You could even take a couple of days if you'd like." Ianto hadn't taken so much as an _afternoon_ off in the two months since he'd buried Lisa for the second time.

At first Jack had thought he was trying to prove to them that he was still worthy of being there – then maybe that throwing himself into his work to forget her, but now? Ianto came in early, left late and other than the occasional little comment, he had hardly spoken three words to anyone until the conversation about kisses the other day… _and why does it bother me so much that he seems to have forgotten the kiss I gave him? _Jack wondered. He wasn't used to his kisses being forgettable.

Not that it was a real kiss. Jack had merely been trying to revive him in the only way he knew how. But, if Owen (in arrogant stupidity) could bring up the thing he and Gwen have been doing – as if no one knew… or as if either of them really wanted to spare Tosh's feelings, he thought acerbically… but he made it a policy never to get involved in other people's sex lives. At least not unless they invited him in…

He focused back in on the moment and the quite ghost of a man walking next to him, his hands in his trouser pockets, his gaze seemingly a thousand light years away. "You're entitled to a little personal time once in a while, Ianto. Why don't you take some? Get some rest. You look like you could use it."

"Why bother?" the young man's voice was so quiet Jack nearly missed his question. "I mean, really, what's the point? Nothing will have changed when I get back. Nothing every changes."

"I realize Torchwood doesn't have the best vacation plan in the world," he tried to lighten his tone in the face of Ianto's grim expression, "but you need some time away from this place." Jack suddenly realized they were standing on the exact spot where Ianto had first confronted him with that amazing coffee of his.

"Are – are you trying to sack me?"

"What? No. I just meant for you to take a couple of days off, get some rest, go do something. " _Have some fun for a change… _"Even if it's the same when you get back, maybe… maybe you won't be."

"What would you suggest, then Sir?" his tone was uncharacteristically harsh.

"I don't know. Go visit family. Or stay with friends for a few days…" but the look Ianto gave him told Jack everything he needed to know; his own expression must have been just as telling because the young Welshman turned away from him, then, to face the water.

He looked out at the bay for a long, silent moment. Finally he spoke, but without turning to face his boss. "I don't really have any of the former, Sir, at least none I care to go calling on, particularly not after the last couple of months. And as for the latter…" he finished with a shrug.

Jack understood. Lisa wasn't the only person Ianto had seen die at Canary Wharf. "I'm sorry," he said, resting a hand on the young man's back. It was hard to tell whether the touch was welcomed or merely tolerated. "Why did you come back?" he asked quietly, knowing Ianto would understand the question.

"I suppose I didn't have anywhere else to go, Sir. To be honest, I was surprised you let me come back at all after what I'd done."

"Everybody makes mistakes. And… you can call me Jack, you know," he tried for a smile, but had the feeling it had come out pretty weak. "If you want."

"I was brought up to respect people in authority, people such as an employer – to show proper deference."

He dropped his hand away from his back and shoved it in his pocket. "I suppose after everything that happened, there – there's not really much chance of us ever being friends again, is there?"

The younger man turned and looked at him as if caught off guard. "Again?" he questioned.

"I'd like to think that we were friends – before – " but even he couldn't say her name aloud for fear of what it would do to the other man to hear it, especially coming from him. _Which is why maybe this was a mistake,_ he realized. Maybe some things really were better left alone… _but I suppose leaving well enough alone was never exactly my strong suit… _Jack admitted to himself.

"I…I suppose I never really thought about it that way. Of us. As friends."

"I guess that's my fault. I didn't do a very good job of including you."

Ianto just shrugged, "I'm just the butler. I handle the paper work – how did that go – get you where you need to be on time and clean up after you…?"

"And look good in a suit," Jack added with half a wry smile; he was relieved when Ianto returned it.

"Which is still technically harassment, Sir."

Jack chuckled softly. "What are you going to do? Sue me?"

"Now there's an interesting thought."

The older man smiled; he was fairly certain that this time the silence that fell between them was comfortable. He was about to suggest getting back to work when Ianto spoke, so quietly that Jack almost missed it:

"I never did say I was sorry."

"For…?"

"For what I said to you that day."

He waved it off. "You have nothing to apologize for, Ianto."

"But…the thing is… I couldn't ever be friends with someone if they thought… if they thought that's what I really thought of them, if they believed I'd really leave them to suffer and die if I ever had a chance. I wouldn't. I know I meant it when I said it, but… "

"Apology accepted," Jack cut him off.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he laid his hand gently on the young Welshman's back again. "Come on, let's get some work done," he suggested.

But instead of agreeing, Ianto turned to him, a world of pain in his blue-grey eyes. "J-Jack? Why did you let me come back?"

"This place wouldn't be the same without you. And… I know what it's like to lose someone you love." He moved just a little closer to the other man.

"You've…you've been in love?" he sounded surprised.

Jack chuckled, "Once or twice."

"Well… I guess we should get back to it." He turned towards the tourist office.

Jack followed suit. He had a mountain of paperwork on his own desk that had been sadly neglected for far too long…


	8. Lunch

**Short Stories: Ch. 8:**

**Lunch**

_**Set between Countrycide **__(series one, episode 6) __**and They Keep Killing Suzie **__(episode 7)._

**Synopsis**: Ianto asks Jack out to lunch…

A continuing of the (fluff-filled) exploration of how Jack and Ianto got from the events of Cyberwoman to delving into all the things one can do with a stopwatch…

**And as always**: My thanks to those who have reviewed and/or put this on their alerts/faves list! Oh yeah, and I don't own any of the characters, either... if I did, we'd have a few more "fluffy" scenes sprinkled into each episode! ;-)

* * *

Ianto felt himself fidget every time he went near Jack's office; Jack had been holed up there most of the morning working on something. _Probably something important…_ in fact, Jack hardly looked up the one time Ianto did manage to force himself into the office to empty the waste paper basket and offer coffee – the former wasn't noticed, the latter earned him a smile that somehow made him feel better about the former.

But bringing it to Jack had caused him to fidget again. He felt as if a whole flock of pterodactyls had taken up residence in his stomach as he brought the cup up to Jack's office and set it down at his desk, right at the man's elbow.

"Thanks," the Captain muttered – "Hey – Ianto – ?" he said as Ianto turned to take his leave?

"Yes, Sir?"

"Transcendental – is that 'el' or 'al'?"

Ianto frowned, tried not to think too hard about what Jack was writing and answered simply that it was 'al'.

"Thanks," and then he muttered something about hating the English language…

"You should try Welsh," Ianto quipped; it earned him a real laugh.

"You can keep it, thanks," Jack leaned back – he took a sip of the coffee and smiled appreciatively at the Welshman who had brought it. "Definitely glad I hired you," he said half under his breath.

A ghost of a smile flickered across Ianto's face – _now or never, _he told himself. (And finding Jack's bright blue eyes fixed on him, it felt like the Captain was aware that he was wavering on the threshold, which didn't make his resolve any more firm. But really, it was just a question; what was the worst thing that could happen? Jack would make some polite excuse and say no? He'd blow it off… _blow me off_…the possibility of which stung a little, especially since Jack was the one who had started bandying about words like 'friends,' something Ianto was aware he was in short supply of… but regardless, social custom dictated that when someone bought someone else a meal, the someone else was obliged to return the courtesy – or at least to make the attempt.)

"You need something?" Jack asked then, maybe a little briskly.

Ianto forced the 'no' back down into his throat and instead tried to smile a neutral little smile, "I ah – I was just wondering if – maybe you'd like to go for lunch – some time – ?"

He couldn't read the expression on Jack's face (and braced himself for that polite excuse and then a 'no' – because no matter what Jack said, they were employer and employee and those lines should never be crossed – ) "Sounds good. Have Gwen and Owen snuck out yet?"

Ianto blinked – then smiled, "Yes, Sir. Almost conspicuously ten minutes apart."

Jack chuckled, "Maybe you should lend them your stopwatch."

The Welshman just smiled, "I'm not sure Owen would really know which button to push – Sir," he added with a bashful grin that had Jack chuckling.

"I don't think I want to be the one to ask Gwen about Owen's ability to push buttons."

Ianto couldn't help his own laugh at that one – then, "Can I ask – you really don't have a problem with them, do you – carrying on like this?"

"What the staff does on their own time isn't my business, Ianto – at least not unless they decide to invite me in," he added with a wink.

Ianto blushed a deep shade of pink and excused himself quickly. That was really more about his boss than he'd ever wanted to know…

* * *

**A/N:**

Sorry this one was so short... but more's forthcoming, since naturally dinner should follow both breakfast and lunch... :)

Thanks again for reading and reviewing / adding to faves and alerts!!


	9. Dinner

**Short Stories: Ch. 9:**

**Dinner**

* * *

_**Set a few days before They Keep Killing Suzie **__(episode 8). _

**Synopsis**: Dinner…Last of the (fluff-filled) chapters about how Jack and Ianto got from the events of Cyberwoman to delving into all the things one can do with a stopwatch… (and coming up with stopwatch innuendos wasn't easy! ;-)

**And as always**: My thanks to those who have reviewed and/or put this on their alerts/faves list! Oh yeah, and I don't own any of the characters, either... if I did, we'd have a few more "fluffy" scenes sprinkled into each episode! ;-)

* * *

"Would it be completely unethical of me shoot whoever came up with this bloody system?" Ianto asked of his boss, when Jack came down to check on his progress with the files. "This – this makes no sense – none of it – who dreamt this up, anyway?" he continued to rant. It had started almost a week ago, when Jack had asked him for a file from 2002, "It was Owen, wasn't it? He's got to be the biggest slouch I've ever met when it comes to finishing anything that has to do with paperwork – "

"Actually, it was me," Jack confessed just a little sheepishly, in the face of Ianto's ire (although close inspection would have revealed that he was having a hard time not laughing out loud at Ianto's rantings.)

For his part, Ianto looked suitably mortified (though far from mollified.) "Oh. Right. Well then. Sorry, Sir."

Jack let out the laugh he'd been holding back, "I guess I should have come up with something better."

"I'll say. Pterodactyl is spelt with a 'p' – why the bloody hell did you put her under 'd'."

"Dinosaur?"

Ianto was less than a hair away from chucking the file at Jack's head. "And when was the last time you even filed a financial report?"

"I file financial reports?" Jack said in such utter surprise that Ianto honestly wasn't sure if it was feigned or if he was really just that surprised to discover that yes, just like everybody else even the mighty Torchwood had to answer to somebody, eventually, even if it was just some half-blind and wholly underpaid accountant stuck in a basement somewhere crunching numbers for Downing Street – or – or _somebody_… (hmmm…yes… yes, there _did_ seem to be a bit of mischief sparkling in those blue eyes of Jack's that made it just a little bit difficult to concentrate…)

Regardless, Ianto bit his tongue on any of the possible responses that sprang to mind regarding lack of responsibility; the last person to actually sign off on a financial report was Suzie Costello and no matter how irritated he was, Ianto wasn't going to bring her name into it. Jack had hand picked Suzie – he'd hand picked them all …_except for me …Ianto Jones, Torchwood's resident stalker…_ "Anyway – with your permission, I'd like to take over the job – "

"All yours," Jack said way too quickly. "Just don't expect a raise."

"Wouldn't dream of asking for one. Sir." Ianto's tone was dry which somehow made that mischievous look in Jack's eyes grow more mischievous yet – the chuckle he was clearly having at Ianto's expense should have annoyed the young Welshman all the more, but he couldn't help it – something about Jack laughing like that made it impossible to be cross with him… _or maybe I'm just that big a sucker because he was just as quick to let me have a go at organizing this mess. He __**had**__ to know what I was walking into and the cheeky bastard didn't even warn me._

"I'll tell you what I can do, though," Jack said then in an offhanded sort of way that would have frightened Ianto if he hadn't already started back in on trying to sort through a pile of reports that clearly _were_ Owen's fault…

"I can hardly wait – " Ianto managed…_Tosh is the only person around here besides me who actually finishes a flipping report with a proper follow up… still, Gwen's new… right… and picking up on Harper's bad habits… _

"I can take you out to dinner."

That got Ianto's attention. "I beg your pardon?"

"It's not much in the way of compensation – but you can call it a thank you dinner for your diligent work – because believe me, I would rather take on a _whole pack_ of angry weevils all by myself than the financials from the last year – even with your able assistance," he added with another merry wink.

Ianto felt a flush of warmth to his cheeks, remembering his first meeting with the Captain… he cleared his throat and got back to work. Right now, he wouldn't mind taking on those angry weevils himself it meant somebody _**else**_ had to finish the mess he'd stumbled into down here. "Sounds lovely," he muttered in that same dry tone, "In the meantime, could you hand me that stack there – yes – those – thank you. And – you can give _these_ to Owen and wave around that authority of yours a bit – they're not finished."

"You think I'm authoritative?" The question honestly seemed genuine.

Ianto just looked at him – no, Jack was not having a lark, he was honestly asking. "You're in bloody charge – tell Owen to finish his damned reports – !" he snapped without meaning to. "Not Tosh – him or I'm going to do something about it, even if you refuse to. Sir."

"Ooh – remind me not to get on your bad side," Jack smirked in the face of what was obviously genuine ire.

"Might find a weevil in your closet if you do," Ianto muttered back at him.

Jack just chuckled and, reports in hand, headed towards the door. "Oh – say – think you can have this wrapped up in an hour?" Jack queried, half over his shoulder.

"Give me an hour and a half."

"I'd give you my first born if I thought you wanted – "

"_You_ have – children?"

"Well it's not that amazing a feat. But let me tell you, I will take on this mess _and_ a whole pack of angry weevils _**and**_Owen before I _ever_ get pregnant again."

_Right, mock me in my misery…_ "I'll be up when I get this sorted out."

"Good luck," Jack winked.

"Thanks a bunch," was Ianto's dull reply.

……………………………

It was, in fact, nearly two hours later when Ianto finally put the last drawer to rights and slid it back into place. Today he'd gotten as far as the 'E's. Perhaps tomorrow he might make it to the middle of the alphabet… _**if **__I'm lucky…_ he was surprised to find Tosh alone in the hub. (Actually, he was surprised to find her still here – it was a quarter past nine and no doubt Gwen and Owen had slipped out hours ago.)

"Oh – you're still here, too – " Toshiko looked up from her station, giving him one of those shy sweet little smiles of hers; her hair was pulled back haphazardly into a pony tail, a sure sign that she'd been hard at work at something and was probably completely unaware of the time. "I thought it was just me."

"Yup, still here," was all Ianto said, but he returned her smile with one of his own. Of the lot of them, she had been the easiest to be around in the weeks since the 'incident' (but he tried not to think about it – it still _hurt_. The nightmares were mostly past – but only mostly…)

For the first week, Owen had avoided him like some sort of medieval plague, while Jack took the opposite tract and tried to carry on as if nothing extraordinary had happened (which infuriated Ianto to the point of tears on more than one occasion – not that he'd ever let any of them see it. He preferred to be ignored.) Gwen, on the other had, kept on looking up at him with those big brown eyes of hers… _poor Ianto…_ she seemed to be thinking, not quite looking him in the eye… (And just when she'd stopped looking at him like some stray dog they'd taken in, Jack had gotten the idea that there might be something weirder than a group of psychos out in the Welsh countryside and he'd managed to get the worst of it... but it wasn't the worst thing he'd ever lived through, they should all have known that…) It really might not've been so bad if Gwen were any good at subtlety, but she really didn't have it in her… for a while Ianto avoided her as much as Owen avoided him.

Serve the coffee and then leave – _tea boy – _but then Jack just_** had**_ to invite him in on a meeting – had to invite him on that stupid trip out to investigate disappearances in the middle of bloody nowhere, just to make him feel like part of the team, even though the team _clearly_ wasn't at all keen on the idea. There had been times during the last month when he had simply wished to be invisible…

But through the whole thing, Tosh somehow carried on like always without it being some sort of infuriating deliberate effort. Sure, there were moments of flickering sympathy out of her, a look in her eye, a tight smile – a kind word that didn't have anything to do with anything – _washing out her own mug, picking up after herself… _but she didn't moon over him the Gwen – she didn't avoid him – she just went on about her business and let him go on about his and around her he was actually comfortable. For the longest time, she was the only one he could say that of.

And then Jack had asked him out to breakfast. And Owen stopped avoiding and Gwen stopped mooning and life had begun to carry on… "What're working on?" Ianto asked Tosh quietly, so as not to disturb her.

"Oh – nothing really. Just a new program."

He glanced briefly over her shoulder, carefully being as non-intrusive as possible. "Looks impressive."

Toshiko blushed, "Not really – just trying to find a better way to compile rift data, put it into a more useful format. You know – "

He just nodded; they both looked up as Jack came bounding down the steps, his coat over his arm. "Ready?" He asked in Ianto's direction."

"Yes – " Ianto felt a stab of guilt, the two of them going out for dinner and leaving Tosh here all alone –

"I don't want you staying here all night," Jack said to her, then.

"I'm just going to run this last sequence – "

"I mean it, Toshiko, you'd better be gone by the time I get back here. But I will bring you back something and leave it in the fridge for tomorrow," he added with a wink.

"Something sweet, I hope."

"Always."

She offered up one of her shy little smiles, "I'll be done in about an hour – promise."

"I'll hold you to that – if you need me, I've got my mobile."

"All right. Have a nice time."

Ianto helped Jack on with his coat feeling suddenly self-conscious under Tosh's friendly gaze although he had no idea why – they were just going out for dinner – the rest of them did it all the time. _Just not at nine-thirty at night…_

"So – any preferences?" Jack asked with half a grin when they got up to the tourist office.

"Whatever you'd like is fine by me," Ianto answered without thinking about who he was talking to.

"Oh really now," the grin turned mischievous – Jack liked the way Ianto blushed (and he was such an easy target, it was almost unfair.) "_Whatever_ I'd like – "

Ianto felt a rush of heat overtake his cheeks, "Er – I meant – " Jack knew_ full well_ what he'd meant –

"Ever eaten sushi off a living plate? There's this great place I found – the plates are _gorgeous_ – "

Ianto turned an brighter shade of crimson.

"Or how about – "

"How about the pub down the end of the street?" Ianto asked quickly.

"The pub? We have to do better than that – have you _seen_ those files?" Jack teased him.

"I spent most of the afternoon looking at them, thank you. You knew the archives were a shambles, didn't you?"

"Why do you think I'm trying to make it up to you?"

Ianto just sighed. He really had known it was a set up…_but Mother was right, there's one born every moment, and you, Ianto Jones are it…_. "Fine. There's an Italian restaurant near my flat – "

"Trying to get me closer to your bed, are you?"

Ianto glared at him – and for an instant Jack wondered if he'd crossed the line – then the glare softened. "I think I'd be afraid of catching some weird alien virus, if I ever invited you into my bed, thank you very much."

"But he _didn't_ say he was categorically opposed to having me in his bed – " Jack grinned over the top of the SUV as they slid in. "Now that _**is **_interesting."

"Do you ever let up?"

"No. And for the record – I _always_ use protection."

Ianto blushed again, "Well I hope this isn't an indication of how the rest of the evening is going to go. I'm entirely too exhausted to keep up with you tonight, Jack."

"Bet you'd change your mind about that if I was in your bed."

Ianto rolled his eyes.

Jack just smirked and allowed Ianto to direct him towards what proved to be a quaint looking Italian restaurant nearer the Millennium Centre than he'd expected. He knew where Ianto lived, but only to see it on a map, not to actually drive there, "I had no idea you lived so close," he commented.

"I hate long commutes."

Jack nodded; he let Ianto open the door for him and walked to the host's stand to request a table for two – something quiet. Ianto raised an eyebrow at the 'something quiet', but didn't say anything. The inside of the restaurant was every bit as cozy as Jack had imagined it might be given the quaintness of the exterior, with checkered table cloths and candles stuck in old wine casks on every table providing the bulk of the lighting, but he was especially pleased to be seated at a secluded little duce tucked into a corner away from the rest of the tables. "I don't think I've ever been here before," he observed as the host handed them each a menu. "And I thought I knew every restaurant for ten square miles."

"I can't believe I've actually surprised you with something."

Jack smiled, "I'm sure you could surprise me with all sorts of things if you put your mind to it."

Ianto buried his face behind the menu while Jack's grin deepened –

An attractive, if slightly thick wasted, middle aged woman came by to ask them if they'd like an appetizer or maybe something from the bar while they looked over the menu.

Noticing Ianto's hesitation – and figuring it had something to do with social customs dictating that Ianto should probably take his cues from his host – Jack spoke up first, "Scotch – single malt if you've got it – something nice – Ianto – ?"

"Just a beer – "

"You don't want to do that," Jack warned him.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm going to order a bottle of wine with dinner and in my experience beer and wine lead to nasty hangovers – can't have you calling in sick tomorrow because the boss took you out to dinner, now can we?" he winked. "He'll have a scotch too – no – wait – apple martini."

"Whatever," Ianto had clearly given up.

"I think I like this place," Jack smiled at the younger man as the waitress headed towards the bar. "We may have to do this again sometime."

"Provided I survive_ this_ time."

Jack just chuckled at him, "Don't worry – I'll be gentle – " which got him the flush of bright pink he'd been aiming for.

Jack managed to turn the conversation towards slightly more innocuous topics after their drinks arrived – small talk mostly. During the course of it, he discovered that Ianto enjoyed bowling and darts (not exactly the shock of the century, Jack imagined that Ianto had once upon a time been the sort of ordinary fellow who would go bowling or throw darts with his mates on an average Friday night… at least before he got a job for Torchwood, London. Torchwood had a way of changing everything a person felt about their universe… just the same, Jack made a mental note to invite Ianto – maybe even the rest of the team – out for bowling some night. It might even be fun…)

Jack found himself confessing that he still hadn't been to a rugby match – or any other sporting event for that matter, at least not in the last fifty years, which was something he _hadn't _meant to say aloud… he looked at Ianto – Ianto at him. Nothing was said. Jack took the conversation back to Ianto by asking about _other _pastimes the younger man enjoyed.

"I played a bit of football – soccer – " he clarified probably presuming that Jack's accent indicated he might actually _be _American (and ignoring the tone in Jack's voice as well as the obvious innuendo), "But that was ages ago. Still like to watch it though – although I'd imagine you don't have any more time for that than for rugby."

"There always seems to be something more important going on."

"Still – it is all this that we do what we do for, right?" Ianto asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well it just seems a shame that we hardly get to live in the world we're trying to protect – er – or maybe I've had too much wine – "

Jack offered up one of those rare, genuine smiles, "Maybe you're right – not about the wine," he added. "Sometimes it feels like we've all let our lives pass us by – trying to protect all these people and _their_ lives. Maybe we should try living a little more – " he refilled both their glasses, effectively polishing off the bottle. Jack caught the waitresses attention and asked for another –

"Jack – one of us has to be able to drive – "

"What's the worst that can happen – you have to invite me up to your flat?"

Ianto looked quite uncomfortable at that idea –

"Believe it or not, I'm capable of being a perfectly civil houseguest."

"You mean I won't wake up in the middle of the night to find you've – " he turned redder, "I really have had too much to drink."

"Tell you what – we'll order desert – I'll get something for Tosh – we'll finish the second bottle – and then take a walk."

"A walk?"

"Best way to clear one's head after a little too much wine."

"And somehow, I think you might be an expert."

Jack grinned – the bottle arrived. They finished it over desert – Jack got something for Tosh (a giant piece of tiramisu) – and they took a stumble around the block, because neither was in any shape to do much better than that (although at least Ianto had the foresight to suggest that Jack put Toshiko's desert in the SUV before they went stumbling around then neighbourhood to 'clear their heads'.)

Ianto let Jack lead the way – he wasn't in any shape anyway – and it was probably because of that that he managed to find himself standing next to Jack atop the roof of the Cambridge building, looking out over the city – the bay – up at the clear night sky.

"I'd still like to know how you got through those security doors –"

Jack grinned. "It's worth a little 'bending of the rules' to get a view like this."

"It is magnificent," Ianto agreed, shivering against the wind.

"Cold?"

"Just a little – it's nothing – " but before he could blink, Jack had his greatcoat off and was wrapping it around Ianto's shoulders – and not only was it warm (warmer than he'd expected) from Jack's body heat but it was so full of his scent – his very wonderful scent – Ianto found himself blushing for no reason at all (or at least none that he was going to name…. or maybe it was just the wine.) "Thanks – but – you're sure – " he stammered. It was freezing – wasn't Jack cold?

"I'm fine."

Ianto pulled the coat closer around him and closed his eyes for just a moment. This was the first time in a long time he'd really felt _warm…_ it was a nice feeling.

"Look up there," Jack said then, one hand resting lightly on Ianto's back, "That bright star – you know what it is?"

"Sorry – rubbish at astronomy."

"It's Jupiter – and there – Mars. And – somewhere – right about there – that's a double star – you can't see it with the naked eye though."

"I take it you weren't rubbish at astronomy."

Jack smiled another one of those rare genuine smiles, "I love it – up there – all those worlds – people – "

"Aliens waiting to attack."

"It's not all bad, Ianto. It's –_ amazing_."

The young Welshman looked over at him, "You make it sound almost as if – " _ok, too much wine…_ Even Torchwood didn't have the technology to get a man past Mars.

"Fifty-first century, born and bred," Jack reminded him.

"You're really serious."

Jack smiled.

"How – the rift – ?"

"No. It's a long story – come on – let's get you back to the SUV – "

"You _can't_ be ready to drive – "

"High metabolism."

"Who are you?"

Jack just flashed a wicked grin and gave a little salute, "Captain Jack Harkness, at your service," he said in a grand tone. Then, in a more mischievous one, "No – really – _totally_ at your service – " and suddenly he found Ianto's mouth on his – Ianto's tongue pushed against his lips, pushing them open – the younger man pulled him close and then suddenly pulled away, a look of mortified panic on his face –

"Oh God – I'm sorry – "

"For what? Jack grinned, even though he understood, "That was pretty good. A little sudden – kinda harsh – but I don't mind playing rough – "

"No – really – Jack – I'm sorry – it was just the wine – I'm sorry – please don't hate me – "

"Shhh – hey – come here – " carefully, Jack drew the shaking man into his arms.

"Please – "

"Shhhh – it's _**ok**_."

"Just promise me you won't tell anyone – "

"Like I said about Gwen and Owen – what the staff does on their own time isn't my business – it isn't _anyone's_," he cupped the younger man's face in his hands. "And really – you don't have to apologize for that because it was quite nice – a little unexpected, but nice."

"I didn't mean to – not like that – "

"So how exactly _did _you mean to kiss me?" he couldn't help himself.

Ianto's cheeks reddened all over again and it wasn't as if Jack was unaware of the narrowness of the twenty first century mind when it came to sexuality:

"Why don't we just get back to the SUV – I'll give you a lift home – "

"My car – "

"I can swing by in the morning and pick you up. No one even needs to know."

"You don't have to go through all that bother."

"I don't mind. Come on."

Still blushing, his stomach churning – gushing – warm – Ianto let Jack guide him back down to the street – get him back to the vehicle – put him in it. Drive him home. "Would – would you like to come up –? I – could make some coffee – " he offered instead of saying good night (which is what his brain was screaming at him to do – but there was some other part of him saying something else, reminding him how good Jack's coat had felt around his shoulders – he longed for more of that warmth – _needed_ it – needed to feel warm again – safe – ) Jack's smile was impossible to read, even if his words were crystal clear:

"As enticing as that offer is – I'd better head back. Wouldn't want you doing anything you're going to regret in the morning," he added in a lighter tone.

Ianto swallowed – closed his eyes – opened them again – "I – _want_ you to come up – not just for the coffee – " _Please understand what I don't know how to say – I just need to feel warm again. I need to feel – something – _

"And I want you to get some sleep," Jack told him in soft tone.

Ianto just looked at him a long scared moment; it was a well established fact that Jack Harkness would sleep with anything with a post code… _anything but__** me**__… _because he had to have figured out that it wasn't coffee Ianto was really offering… _but what had Tosh said, he'd shag anything 'as long as it's gorgeous'… guess that's it then… _Then Jack leaned in and very lightly pressed his lips to his; it was such a soft kiss, nothing at all what Ianto would have expected because he had – from time to time – considered what Jack would be like in bed (with other people) and soft wasn't a word that he'd ever associated with the American Captain… Jack's tongue played lightly at his lips, coaxing them open…

"Why?" Ianto asked when their tongues finally untangled – when their lips parted – when he finally thought he could trust his voice enough to ask why Jack was rejecting him one moment and kissing him like that the next.

"Because you've had too much to drink and the last thing either of us needs is for you to do something you're going to regret in the morning."

"But would you?"

"What – regret it in the morning?"

"Yeah."

"No."

"Because you'll shag anything with a pulse – "

"Because you look _really_ good in that suit."

Ianto found himself smiling, just a little, despite the churning in his gut.

"And besides," Jack added with a wink, "I'll bet you know just which buttons to push on that stopwatch of yours."

Ianto flushed, but managed a follow up: "It's not just pressing buttons you know – there are all sorts of things one can do with a stopwatch."

Jack arched an eyebrow, "Oh really now – maybe you'll have to give me a demonstration some time."

"It would be my pleasure, Sir," Ianto couldn't help but laugh at Jack's expression. Laughing and blushing, he slid out of the SUV – only the night around him was suddenly very cold without Jack's coat around his shoulders – he glanced back into the SUV. He couldn't believe he'd kissed Jack like that on the roof – invited him up for 'coffee' – he couldn't believe half the things going on in his head – but he especially couldn't believe that Jack had turned him down, Jack Harkness who would shag _anything_ had turned him down flat… well, sort of… maybe… not quite flat…

"Six thirty – tomorrow – ?" Jack said, as Ianto started to close the door behind him.

Ianto nodded.

Jack waited until he got into his building – he saw a light flip on in a window on the second floor – Ianto appeared in the window, raised his hand in a wave to let him know he'd gotten in ok – Jack returned it and then eased the SUV away from the curb, suddenly very anxious for morning to arrive…


	10. Ianto's Day Off Pt 1

Short Stories: Ch

**Short Stories: Ch. 10:**

**Ianto's Day Off (part one)**

_**Setting:**_

_Between __**Randon Shoes **and **Out of Time**_

_**A/N:**_

_This chapter is rated **M**, but I didn't want to change the rating of the whole fic for one chapter that was more suggestive than my prudish little self would put a "T" rating to. It's still not exactly explicit, there's just a bit of pure fun filled smut (I've decided I like that word)… ;-) Seriously – hope this doesn't offend anybody. It isn't meant to, and the language isn't explicite._

…………………………………………………………

Ianto's body shuddered under Jack's weight – he shook with mixed pleasure and pain both of which excited him in ways he'd never thought about before he'd begun this whatever-it-really-was with his boss. His friend... _friends with fringe benifits..._

It wasn't just the steady rhythmic movements of Jack's body on top of his that made Ianto shake, want more, it was the way Jack leaned in, kissed his neck – bit down – kissed some more, found his mouth – Jack's tongue captured his and he drew it forcefully into his mouth, overwhelming him. Jack wrapped his arms around the Ianto's body, pulling him closer still – pushing further in – Ianto cried out –

Jack released the younger man's mouth immediatly asking softly if it was too much – in his frenzied state, Ianto completely missed the look of genuine concern on the Captain's face.

"No – never – " Ianto whispered back, barely able to speak – not wanting to think. He wanted all of Jack – every last inch – and not just the obvious inches, either (the ones that the first time he'd seen them, he'd been terrified to consider just where Jack was planning on putting that…but that had been nearly a month ago, and Jack had been so overwhelming patient with him back then – so kind. He never would have attacked Ianto the way he was now… ) Maybe that was why Ianto wanted every bit of him, every touch, every kiss, every caress – everything the Captain was willing to give him. He pulled Jack's face back to his, kissing him with enough force to convey how much he wanted. He was rewarded by Jack leaning back into him, pinning him to the bed, kissing him every bit as hard, while the rest of his body resumed its fast, furious, motion.

Before Jack had climbed on top of him ten or so minutes ago, he'd already done things to Ianto that would have made the young Welshman blush if he'd been in any state to think about it too hard – things he would have blushed over as much that _anyone _enjoyed them, let alone him, but when Jack did that thing with his tongue, every inhibition melted away. The fact that Jack did it over and over, brining him just to the point of release and then backing down again drove him mad – but it was a good sort of madness and Jack had been somewhat kinder about it than he had been that first time, when he'd spent several long hours seeing just how far he could push Ianto before he broke… not that Ianto minded being broken in quite that fashion, being reduced to shaking and begging, having to put up with that overly-satisified-with-himself-smirk of Jack's, because Jack had been there to pick up the pieces and he'd done so with such skill and care that Iatno was a ashamed of himself for assuming that sex with Jack would be some sort of brief in and out affair. Jack's attention to detail was mind-boggling; it made him wonder (when he was better able to actually think, that is) just what the fifty-first century was going to be like…

Ianto felt the tell-tale shudder in Jack's lower back – the quickening of the man's breath – the way his shoulders tensed – and then released – Jack's breath came out low ragged – he sighed – smiled. Leaned in and kissed Ianto again, a tender kiss that seemed filled with so much… Ianto returned it in kind wondering if that gush of warmth inside really meant… _falling in love…_ Jack kissed him again, softer still, with a smile that started in his eyes and worked it's way all the way down to his lips, leaving Ianto wondering if Jack might be feeling the same thing…

"Be right back," Jack whispered as he eased himself off the younger man.

"I'll be here."

Another smile flickered across Jack's lips as he headed into the bathroom to attended to the little post-shag necessities, leaving Ianto in his bed, surrounded by his scent, his body still pulsating with – everything.

Ianto pulled the green satin sheet up over his body – he was all goose-flesh and shivers, but he doubted they were from the slight chill in the air. In a moment Jack was back; he stretched out next to Ianto, pulled the younger man into his arms, making him feel warm again. Happy. Ianto rested his head against Jack's chest and closed his eyes, oblivious to the smile that Jack gave him as he settled in. He did feel the kiss that Jack gave the top of his head though – the way he ran his hands over Ianto's skin…

Ianto never would have expected this kind of tenderness out of Jack Harkness, even after all of those kind words – little gestures – how far Jack had gone out of his way to include Ianto in Torchwood business again – maybe for the first time (although he could have done without that team bowling expedition…_give me cannibals any day over Owen Harper in bowling shoes…and poor Tosh…she was so accomplished at everything else and all she could do was roll gutter ball after gutter ball… _)

"I was thinking," Jack began in a soft sort of tone.

"Oh dear."

Jack just chuckled, "Don't start. I was thinking – when was the last time you actually took a day off from work – ?"

Ianto looked up at him. "I had that dentist's appointment – "

"I said a day, not half a morning."

"I'm not sure I have," Ianto admitted – he no longer considered Torchwood London as Torchwood – or maybe it was the other way around, maybe it was Jack's Torchwood that was the different entity. At any rate, he hadn't taken a real day off since coming here. There had been a time when his motives had been ulterior – as if sensing the darkness of that thought, Jack pulled Ianto just a little closer, kissing the top of his head again. The Welshman cleared his throat and tried very hard not to think of her – his betrayal – the way Jack had taken him back – brought him further into his life… "Like you said, Torchwood doesn't have the best vacation policy on the planet," Ianto made an attempt at a joke that he felt sure was falling flat – but Jack chuckled anyway.

"No. It doesn't – that's why it's important to take a personal day once in a while – remind yourself of just what it is we're fighting for."

"I know what I'm fighting for," Ianto blurted out – he was grateful Jack couldn't see the rush of warmth that overtook his cheeks just then. He wasn't fighting for them, for all those people out there – he was fighting for moments like this, the only times he ever felt warm inside. Torchwood – Torchwood London – it had changed him. Ianto realized that now – he'd known it for some time, but he hadn't really realized it until he'd run into an old mate the other day…

_Aaron Andersen…_ the first boy he'd had a crush on… he was working for Marks & Spencer now – middle management – he felt quite accomplished and happy with his life. He had his own place – even a little back garden, a decent bit of property for the city, really. He'd just broken up with his boyfriend and wanted to take Ianto out for a pint… _maybe some other time…_ Ianto had replied – it was only after they'd exchanged numbers and said their good-byes that it occurred to him that if did go for a pint with Aaron, he'd never know what to say. He supposed they could probably kill a couple of hours reminiscing about old times – he could find out what some of his old friends were up to – but then what? Aaron could talk about his work but what in the world would Ianto say about his…? He couldn't even talk about politics or the state of the world without thinking about aliens any more. Even before coming back to Cardiff, stalking his way into Jack's Torchwood, he'd become some other person than who he'd been when he left Wales almost four years ago. Jack's voice brought him up out of his thoughts:

"Why don't you take tomorrow off." It didn't sound like a question.

"Tomorrow?"

"It's almost three in the morning – you're going to be tired and grouchy - "

"I will not."

"You're right. Because you're going to take the day off and sleep in."

"Jack – I – "

"Look, it's been pretty quiet – I think four of us can handle it for one day. And I promise, I'll keep Owen out of the Archives room."

"And away from the cappuccino maker."

Jack grinned, "You have my word, we'll get coffee from Starbucks tomorrow – which will probably make everyone appreciate you twice as much on Monday."

Ianto chuckled, but "I really don't need – "

"Everybody needs a day off once in a while. Call it a 'mental health day' – and consider that an order."

"Yes, Sir."

Jack's answer to that was one of those kisses… Ianto didn't end up getting home until almost dawn…

…………………………………………………………..

Nine o'clock – well, Ianto supposed that was sleeping in when he usually got in up at five…_never mind that I didn't __**into**__ bed until five and thirty…_ maybe that second round was Jack's real reason for giving him the day off; this was the closest they'd come to spending an entire night together. Not that anyone but Tosh was likely to catch them – just the same, Ianto had felt a certain guilty thrill as he'd left the tourist office just as the sun was coming up. There was something inherently exciting about doing something he knew deep down he shouldn't be doing… not the whole Jack being a man thing, but Jack was his boss – his superior… _hmmm…. better not ever say that aloud, there's no telling where he'd run with __**that**__ idea…_

Still smiling over dirty little thoughts that made him blush and feel just a bit giddy even though no one was around, Ianto pulled himself up out of the cotton and flannel sheets (so very different from the opulence of Jack and his satin sheets) and toddled into his small, neat little kitchenette where the sun was steaming in from outside. It illuminated the room in a soft, warm yellow glow that wasn't terribly unlike the warm feeling he had inside… he knew he was being silly. They were just shagging, but shagging had never felt so good… _he_ had never felt so good – so warm – alive again.

Ianto set up the coffee maker and spilled a little water onto the philodendron on his kitchen windowsill and then headed into the bathroom (which was just as small and tidy as his kitchenette) for a much needed shower. He noticed absently that he needed to scrub the grout again. _But seeing as I have a whole day to kill… _a month ago – two weeks – three weeks – he'd have been paranoid about Jack giving him the day off, wondering if Jack was trying to get rid of him or something – but Jack was right, everybody needed a break once in a while. He'd scrub the grout, clean out some cupboards in his kitchen – reorganize the pantry, it was long over due. After he'd finished the domestic chores, maybe he'd take a nice walk in the park and try not to think about weevils creeping out after dark or weird alien eyeballs… Ianto turned off the water just as it was turning cold. There was never enough hot water for a proper shower.

He supposed he could get a bigger flat – something better – he could afford it – but this was close to work and he'd meant what he said about hating long commutes.

By the time Ianto had donned a clean pair of jeans and a soft mauve pullover, the coffee was ready. He was just settling in to enjoy it, looking out his little kitchen window at the lot behind his building where some children were playing, when his mobile rang.

He thought briefly about Aaron – but no, he had only given him the number for the land line. The last thing he needed was some former almost-boyfriend ringing him up in the middle of an alien invasion. Ianto got the phone and was surprised at the caller ID – _Torchwood…_ "Hello – Jack?"

"Ianto," came Jack's chipper response. He really _didn't_ need much sleep…

"Is there a problem – or did you just miss my coffee?" Ianto teased, mostly because Jack's tone gave him the impression that this wasn't an alien invasion, at least not one that had started while he was in the shower.

Jack chuckled, "Look out your front window."

_Oh dear…_ Ianto made his way to the living room and peered out – there was Jack standing in front of the SUV.

"Good, you're dressed," Jack commented into the phone.

"I thought you preferred it when I wasn't," Ianto quipped right back, earning him another jovial laugh from the Captain.

"Ahhh, but as much as I enjoy the sight of you as Nature intended, I wouldn't want to have to have to bail you out of jail for public indecency because this century hasn't caught on to the fact that the naked body is beautiful."

Ianto blushed – had Jack really just called him beautiful? Well – Jack had said the human body and he was a bit of a hedonist… still, it was nice to imagine that Jack might have meant him personally. "So what did you want?" he asked – and even from his window he could see the lascivious smile playing across Jack's lips.

However: "Where're going somewhere."

"It's nine – thirty – " he glanced at the clock over his shoulder. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"That's the beauty of being the boss – nobody to tell you you can't take a day off if you feel like it."

"Jack – "

"Relax, I left Gwen in charge – much to Owen's chagrin – the three of them can handle it for one day."

One day? "What are you up to?"

"Why don't you come here and find out – and – if you've got a spare cup of that coffee lying around – "

Ianto laughed despite himself, "Coming right up, Sir – although I fear it won't be as strong as you usually prefer."

"I'm sure it'll still be amazing."


	11. Ianto's Day Off Pt 2

**Short Stories: Ch. 11:**

**Ianto's Day Off (part two)**

_**Setting:**_

Between **Random Shoes** and **Out of Time **(and well before the Doctor Who episode **Utopia.**)

_**A/N:**_

_Just more fluff as Jack and Ianto wander (blunder at times) their way through the early stages of their relationship… a bit angsty… a bit sexy… hopefully fun… ;-) I hadn't actually mean to stretch this to three chapters, but the ending place of this one seemed like a good place to take break...third part should be up soon, but as always, if you enjoy this please feel free to say so (all comments, welcome, really) -- like most writers, reviews keep me happy and motivated... ;-) _

* * *

"Ianto not in yet?" Gwen was surprised when she arrived at the hub to find only Tosh, who was hunched over something at her station, and Owen, who was almost conspiciously burried behind a magazine that clearly had nothing to do with either science or medicine. It was just past nine-thirty and Ianto's car hadn't been in the lot... but that didn't mean he wasn't here. He was always here... And yet, there was no tell-tale scent of his infamously wonderful coffee permeating the hub, something she had dearly hoped for a cup of this morning (her own machine was broken again, but even when it was working perfectly, her skills were nothing compared to Ianto's...) She looked around - neither Tosh nor Owen looked up. "Well? What's going on?"

Owen gave her a sour look, "You're supposed to be in charge. You figure it out," and with that, he went back his magazine.

_Jack __**so**__ owes me for this_…Gwen thought acerbically… _still, he did save me from brunch with Rhys' parents… as if I'd been able to eat with the way his mother bathes herself in the bloody awful perfume… _involuntarily, she made a face at the thought of it… "Tosh?" she asked, "Is Ianto here yet – or – ?" Gwen asked; Tosh seemed unusually intent on whatever she was working on.

"Jack mentioned he wouldn't be in today," Toshiko's voice was quieter than usual, too.

"Is he all right?"

"Fine I should expect – but Jack didn't really say – "

Owen thwaped his magazine down loudly. "Ok. First Ianto 'calls in' and then Harkness decides to piss off today, too. Am I the _**only **_person here who smells a bleedin' set up?"

"I'm sure it's just coincidence," Toshiko insisted quietly. "Jack said he had something he had to do today – "

"Oh right, like he's never lied to us before."

"Owen – "

"All right," Gwen cut them both off (Owen's mouth was already half open to reply.) "I'm going to run up to Starbucks for coffee – anyone else fancy a cup?"

Owen went back to whatever he'd been reading (something with a girl on the cover.)

"I'd love one of those frozen mocha thingies," Tosh said.

"Owen – last chance – "

He didn't even look up.

"Right. Back in a tick," Gwen was just as happy to get back out of there. _Ok, getting me out of breakfast or not, Jack Harkness, you bloody well owe me for this… _because it was obvious that Owen was just going to sulk about pissing and moaning all day while Tosh stayed burried in something that may or may not even be important… the last thing Gwen heard as the door rolled shut behind her was Tosh telling Owen not to be so cross just because Jack had left Gwen in charge, that it had nothing to do with seniority and insisting that Jack really _had _taken something out of storage this morning… all in all, Gwen thought Toshiko might be protesting Jack's innocence just a little too much… _wonder what she knows that I don't… _

………………………………………_.._

Jack watched appreciatively as Ianto crossed the street carrying two travel mugs of coffee and wearing a smile that Jack could only describe as adorable (although he wasn't nearly foolish enough to ever say as much aloud, especially not within earshot of the incredibly adorable young Welshman coming his way.) "Ahh – that's what I needed," he smiled as he took the mug Ianto offered him, resisting the urge to kiss him right there in the street. Instead, he opened the passenger door with great flourish and gestured for Ianto to get in.

"What in the world are you up to?" Ianto asked, although he was clearly amused.

"Sorry – you'll have to wait and see," Jack grinned back.

Shaking his head, Ianto slid into the passenger seat and Jack closed the door behind him, before hurrying around to the drivers' side of the SUV. Jack's entirely-too-pleased-with-himself wasn't lost on the young Welshman, either.

It had taken Jack nearly a month to set this up – not that Victoria was unwilling to play her part, but putting together everything he needed so that it was just perfect – and then actually getting Ianto to take a day off – that was the feat he'd half expected to be the most difficult. But now – here they were and he couldn't help but feel pleased with himself because today was going to be perfect…_barring alien invasion… _

Jack had even gone so far as disabling the GPS on the SUV before Tosh arrived for work so that the others (most notably Gwen and Owen) wouldn't be able to track him today, and when Toshiko did get in Jack gave her special orders that no matter what happened, it had to be a Level 1 incursion – or UNIT had to report a Code 9 Sighting before she was to even _**think**_ about contacting him (and no, he wasn't going to tell her what that meant, no matter how quizzical her look became, he just assured her that he had the system set to monitor UNIT transmissions for a Code 9). He added the reminder that Gwen and Owen bickering about who was really in charge did _**not**_ constitute an emergency, no matter how bad it got – and oh yeah, Owen was to make sure that everything in the basement was taken care of – weevils fed, cleaned up after, that sort of thing – that should keep Owen out of Gwen's hair for at least most of the morning…

And then it dawned on him that he'd gotten everything set up, gotten Ianto to take the day off, gotten out of the hub before either Owen or Gwen showed up to ask him where he was going and here it was nine-thirty in the morning which meant that Ianto probably hadn't eaten yet – "You up for breakfast?" he asked.

"Sure – "

"Hope you don't mind trying something new," Jack added, as he turned the SUV away from the hub and their usual little diner.

Ianto just smiled that sweet little smile of his, "I'm always up for something new – I thought you'd figured that out by now, Captain."

Jack felt an unusual rush of warmth overtake his cheeks – it wasn't like him to let anyone get the better of him – but given who it was, he didn't mind at all…._how long has it really been since I've had a lover…? _He wondered... how long had it been since there had been someone he actually _**wanted**_ in his bed, _**really**_ wanted, not just wanted in the moment, someone who was more than just a one night stand or even a string of them…? Decades, maybe…? _Estelle…_ God, he'd loved her… Jack gave himself a good mental shake. This wasn't love. It had been safe to fall in love with Estelle because he'd known from the start that no matter how carried away he let himself get, it wouldn't last. It couldn't. He couldn't bear the pain it would cause her – cause him – to tell her that no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't die and he had no idea why. He couldn't tell her where he was from – when – but he could be with her, just for a little while because it was so long ago that he'd known there wasn't much chance of the Doctor – his Doctor – returning. He'd been told he would have to wait for more century… _but that was fifty years ago and now it's been over a century… _it had been safe to love Estelle. It wasn't safe to love anybody now, not for either of them and especially not someone he realized he probably could tell at least half his secrets to and not have them freak out on him over it because Ianto had already seen so much... been through so much... "So – you in the mood for anything special – breakfast, I mean – ?" Jack asked – he wanted something else to think about. THe wanted today to be perfect – special. He wanted to show Ianto that it wasn't all aliens waiting to invade, that there really was something out there worth fighting for – worth living for. _Even if it's just your children's children who see it…it's there – it's waiting – it's worth it._

In answer to Jack's question, the younger man just shrugged, "Whatever you want – I'm really not that particular."

"I'm hurt – here I thought you _were_ rather particular – I thought I was special – " Jack teased at him.

For half a second the words almost actually stung (even though Ianto knew he was teasing), "You're very special, Jack," he answered in a tone more serious than he'd intended… they were just friends, friends with fringe benefits… but the smile Jack gave him when he said those words… Ianto had to resist the urge to reach for Jack's hand even though he wanted to – more than anything he wanted to, just to feel Jack's hand in his… but if Jack wasn't thinking the same things he was – wasn't feeling what he was feeling – the last thing Ianto wanted to do was to jeopardize the one thing that made him feel warm again – alive again. So he just smiled back and asked if Jack minded if he turned on the radio, seeing as this was personal time (Jack _never_ allowed them to play the radio on 'company time' – although his definition of company time seemed to be pretty loose.)

"Sure – there's some CD's in the center thing if you want – "

"Center 'thing'?" Ianto teased him. "Is that a technical term?"

"Well what _do_ you call it?"

"Arm rest maybe?" he grinned at Jack and went exploring to see what Jack had brought – Glen Miller – Anne Shelton – Duke Ellington – Vera Lynn – ok, it went with the whole World War II persona Jack seemed to have adopted (but really, that had to be an act, Jack was clearly not old enough to have served in WW II, no matter that the only Jack Harkness they had ever been able to find on record was an American Captain who had disappeared in 1941…but if Jack was to believed, he'd been born some time in the distant future and somehow travelled back in time… _but maybe Gwen's right, it really is hard to know how much of what he says is true… _He glanced up in Jack's direction, but the Captain had turned his attention towards the road.) Ianto dug a little further – "_Styx_, Jack?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Jack just shrugged, "I am a man of many tastes."

"I'll bet," was Ianto's dry response to that.

……………………………………….

They shared a quite breakfast in a small café just off the motorway; Jack had made it a rule some time ago that when they were on their own time, he didn't want to talk 'shop.' No aliens, no invasions and even though sometimes that made it difficult for Ianto to know what to say, he found that quiet with Jack wasn't the least bit awkward...

Today, however, he had realized just how little he really know about the dark haired, blue eyed American (maybe) Captain sitting across from him, because _**Styx?**_ That had come so out of left-field, Ianto didn't even know how to process it and really, it was a stupid thing to be thrown off by, but he was. He realized that an didn't live by Glen Miller alone but – Styx? It just didn't seem like Jack. So music became his chosen topic of discussion for breakfast – although exactly how Jack expected him to believe he'd seen T.Rex live in concert, Ianto had no idea. Jack couldn't be more than thirty / thirty five at most, so even accounting for the time travel story (if Ianto was going to believe it), there was no way Jack could have been old enough to have seen T.Rex on anything but an old video. And when Ianto pointed out that Marc Bolan had died in 1977, which meant that if Jack _had_ seen him perform, he couldn't have been more than a couple of years old at the time and that hardly counted, Jack just laughed and suggested that perhaps there was a portrait of him somewhere hidden in the archives slowly getting older – Ianto rolled his eyes.

"You never know – some weird alien technology – " Jack suggested with a sly grin.

"You'd never use alien technology that way," Ianto told him. "And you're breaking the rules," he added with a sly grin of his own. Whoever broke the rules was subject to penalty, as per Jack's edict (which had mostly been in place to keep _him_ from breaking the rules about what they were and weren't allowed to talk about on their own time…)

"So I am," Jack returned his grin. "Guess you get to tie me up next time."

"Oh, I think I can come up with something more creative than that. I've been doing some reading, you know."

"Really now – I can hardly wait," Jack's grin was genuine.

Ianto chuckled, but refused to give him any further clue than that (despite a concerted effort on Jack's part that had every waitress blushing whenever they got near enough to the table to overhear any of the conversation…)

When the bill came Jack paid it and they made their exit (probably, Ianto thought, to the relief of the entire waitstaff.)

"You realize," Ianto began cautiously, as Jack pulled back out of the restaurant parking lot, "That I've known you for almost a year and eclectic taste in music and sexual proclivities aside, I know absolutely nothing about you."

"Sure you do. You know how I take my coffee – "

"There's more to a man's life than how he takes his coffee."

"Tell that to Owen first thing in the morning," Jack quipped back with a smile.

"Jack – I'm serious," he persisted. "You know my whole life's history – "

"That's because I'm your boss," Jack reminded him with a wink.

Ianto sighed.

"Come on – what's to know?"

"Well – where were you born?" Asked of anyone else, it really would be an innocent question. But Jack wasn't anyone else, and it seemed to him that Ianto was forgetting that today:

"No place you've ever heard of," he answered in the most neutral tone he could muster.

Ianto frowned, and seemed to mull that over a moment. "Not on this world then, I take it?"

Of course Jack should have realized that Ianto would piece that much together – he'd let his guard down more than he'd intended and subsequently he'd said more than he ever meant to say to Ianto… _only_ _I wonder what he'd think of the real (or maybe pseudo would be more accurate) 'Jack Harkness'…the man behind the imposter… _and he realized that Ianto was waiting for an answer. "No. Not on this world."

"So – ?"

"Like I said – no place you've ever heard of."

"It still must have a name."

"Yeah. It has a name – had one – will have – a name. Somebody will call it something and it'll have a name," he regretted snapping the moment he saw the hurt expression on Ianto's face and heard the tone in his voice when the younger man apologized for prying. "It's not you, Ianto. I buried my past a long time ago. Where I was born – where I grew up – I don't _want_ to remember." I don't want to be reminded of the person I used to be.

"Why not?"

"There are some things – some things that are just too painful – "

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be – it has nothing to do with you." _But this moment, this little bit of happiness, this__** is**__ because of you… _and for just a moment he stopped resisting the urge to reach over – he found Ianto's hand, twined his fingers into the other man's – Ianto didn't seem to mind and for a moment Jack almost wished he could let himself go…_fall in love again…_ But it was too close – the Doctor – his Doctor – he would come back and while it was safe to enjoy the moment, it wasn't safe to think too far beyond it because any day now, any year – _his _Doctor, the _right_ Doctor would show up – not Sara Jane's Doctor or Jo's or Victoria's or Liz Shaw's, people he'd met while searching, but _his_ Doctor – the right one. And Jack would be waiting. _You'll show up – you have to – you're overdue by at least a couple of years, now – so any day now you'll be here – my Doctor, the __**right **__Doctor – and you're __**not**__ getting away from me this time – you're not going to leave me again…you're __**going**__ to tell me what happened… why I can't die – you're __**going **__to tell me why you left me behind… _he was keenly aware of the sharp pang of loss filling him (emptying him). It wasn't just having been abandoned by the Doctor almost a century ago… several millennia in the future… it was Rose whose name he'd seen on the list of the dead from Canary Wharf, Rose who he hadn't even known was there… Rose so full of life… so beautiful… Rose who he'd danced with that night while bombs rained down on London… _I wish I'd known you were there – I would have done anything I could have to save you if I'd known you where you were… _he'd been there… Canary Wharf had been a blood bath… and somehow he'd missed both Rose and the Doctor… his Doctor… _Rose…_

The light squeeze of Ianto's hand in his brought Jack back to the present – the motorway – the bright morning sunshine and blue Cardiff sky. He answered the concern in the younger man's eyes with a tight smile. _Today's** his** day…_ Jack reminded himself…_ time to put things back on track…_ "I brought along an audio book – if you're interested," Jack forced his tone – let go of Ianto's hand, missed the look of disappointment on Ianto's face when he did it.

"Dare I even ask?" Ianto inquired of the audio book.

Jack chuckled, "King Solomon's Mines."

Ianto blinked. Well – all right, not nearly as frightening as it could be. He found it in the armrest and took a look at the case. "I think I almost read this in secondary – "

"Almost?"

"We were supposed to read it," Ianto shrugged. "I think I may have made the attempt."

"You don't have to put it on if you don't want to."

"No – that's fine – maybe I'll appreciate it now that it's not being forced on me by a craggy faced English teacher from Hell."

Jack laughed harder, "From what I've seen in that file of yours, you gave as good as you got."

"Not really. But – Jack – as memory serves, this is an awfully long book."

"We have an awfully long drive."

"Now I _am_ starting to get worried," Ianto teased – but mostly he was glad that the cloud seemed to have lifted away from Jack. Absently Ianto rubbed his fingers together where Jack had held his hand, wishing he hadn't let go… he slid the CD into the player and settled back to listen and even managed not to ask again where they were going when it became obvious that they were heading into England…


	12. Ianto's Day Off Pt 3

**Ianto's Day Off (part three)**

* * *

**Thank you so much for the reviews – WOW!! They are truly appreciated!! **_**Setting:**_

* * *

Between **Random Shoes** and **Out of Time** (and well before the Doctor Who episode **Utopia.**)

_**Location:**_

Having never been there, I'm fudging the details of Jack and Ianto's final destination a bit, but I wanted to use a real place and availed myself of Google to the best of my ability ;-) As for the rest, I plead "Creative License" and pray you indulge me.

_**A/N: **_

_Last part of this bit… hope it's been enjoyable… more to come :-) (Please also see A/N at the end for details on the 'new' character in this chapter, if you're interested.)_

* * *

Three hours and two petrol-station sandwiches later (Ianto refused to call that lunch), Jack pulled off onto the Sandbach / Congleton exit; he looked over at Ianto and grinned an even deeper of the grin that had been playing across his lips for most of the last twenty minutes: "Almost there."

"Almost where?" Ianto wanted to know (the more Jack grinned, the more curious he got and while Ianto prided himself on his patience, he couldn't take much more of this and he knew it. This was, in a way, even _worse_ than the first time he and Jack had shagged... although the less Ianto thought about that the better where a long road trip and slightly tight jeans were concerned…)

"Macclesfield," came the Captain's answer to his question.

"What's in Macclesfield?"

"An old friend who helped me put something together for you."

"What sort of something?"

"You'll see."

"You really are starting to worry me here, Jack – "

"Only starting – I must be losing my touch," Jack quipped right back, earning him a laugh and one of those cute little smiles of Ianto's… impulsively, Jack reached over and cupped the back of the younger man's head in his hand – Ianto leaned into him just a little and Jack had a very hard time convincing himself that_ all_ he was doing here was passing time, waiting for the Doctor. Jack gave a light caress to the back of Ianto's neck and withdrew his hand before he started thinking about that too hard… and before the bulge in Ianto's jeans got any more painful looking, because they were running late as it was and while Victoria might quite gracefully accept that they'd stopped off for breakfast, stopping for an emergency shag was another story.

"You're really not going to give me any sort of clue, are you?"

"It wouldn't be much a surprise if I did that," Jack reminded him. "Besides, we really are almost there."

Twenty minutes later, Jack turned up a long lane that ended at the Jordell Bank Observatory, further peaking Ianto's growing curosity. "Aren't they closed – it's Sunday – ?"

Jack's smile was even more of a pleased-with-himself-smirk than ever. "I told you – I've got a friend – remember?"

"But what are we doing here – it's not even the middle of the afternoon – "

"And having the day off sort of implies having the _night _off, too," Jack turned off the CD player and brought the SUV to a stop near the entrance. There was only one other car in the lot, but no signs of anyone milling about. "Shall we?" The Captain inquired.

"I suppose we might as well," Ianto continued to feel perplexed. Three hours from Cardiff to an observatory…? Ianto searched his memory – Jordell was one of the largest in the U.K., one of the most impressive – but all in all, it was really just a telescope, unless Jack knew something that he didn't (which was entirely possible…) Then he saw Jack reach into the back seat and pull out a leather case – "What's that?"

Before Jack could answer, a woman of about sixty appeared in the door of the building in front of them; she smiled a bright smile and made her way towards them, giving Ianto just a moment to appraise her before she got there… graying that once had been dark, done up into a lose, long skirt, loose cotton blouse… and she must have been a knock-out when she was younger… dressed a bit like the 'aunts' in Practical Magic (he'd just been watching it again last week). Ianto quite adored both Diane Wiest and Stockard Channing.

"I was starting to become concerned," the woman greeted Jack with a warm hug.

"About me? Never. We stopped for breakfast," he kissed her cheek with warm familiarity then slid one arm around her waist and steered her over towards Ianto, "Professor Victoria Waterfield-Davies, may I present Mr. Ianto Jones – Ianto, Victoria – she's an anthropology professor at the University in Manchester."

"Anthropology – ?" he spoke without meaning to sound rude. "I'm sorry – it's just thought – " they were standing outside a telescope after all.

Her smile was warm, "Although I spend my academic year attempting to enlighten young minds about what we've found out about ourselves through digging in the dirt, I spend my summer holidays here, discovering more about what's up there," she gazed up towards the sky. "And besides, occasionally a bit of up there ends up in down here," she added with a wink.

"Well – it's a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am," Ianto fumbled a bit after his initial rudeness; but she accepted his hand and didn't seem the least bit put off (and Jack seemed to be having a merry ol' time of it, too.)

Victoria Waterfiled-Davies turned her attention back to Jack: "So what have you brought for me this time, Captain?"

"As promised – " he positioned the satchel over his shoulder and dug into it – Ianto recognized one of the items he'd catalogued a few months ago – "Relax, it's not a weapon," Jack said to the worried look on the younger man's face (as far as Ianto knew, they didn't know what it was, just that it didn't seem to do much… then again, the singularity scalpel hadn't seemed to do much at first either.)

Victoria took the small disk from Jack's hand and held it up to the light – colour danced around it in the sunlight (something that had never happened before, at least not as far as Ianto knew.) "Oh, Jack, it _is_ magnificent."

"I knew you'd like it. Now – "

"Yes, come this way gentlemen – I've got everything all set up inside – "

Ianto slipped just ahead and got the door for both Jack and his friend – the latter led the way through the building into a planetarium style theatre that reminded Ianto of the one he'd visited as a child. Once there, he saw Jack hand her something else, although he couldn't quite make out what; he was saying something about how it should have everything she needed and even be compatible with the observatory's 'archaic hardware.'

"You are such a rogue," Victoria chided as she headed towards the control room.

"Jack – ? What did you give her?"

"Just something I put together."

"No – before – that piece I was working on last week – "

"It's harmless."

"Then – you know what it is – ?"

Jack just smiled.

"Are you doing that because you don't know or are you intentionally trying to make me paranoid and twitchy?"

Jack chuckled, "You're cute when you're paranoid and twitchy. However – yes, it's harmless. Just a bit of light and colour, kind of like a piece of jewelry – I have no idea how it got here, but it's nothing of interest to us, so I thought I'd pass it on to somebody who would really appreciate it."

"And you've done this before?"

"From time to time."

"And you're really sure it's safe?"

"Of course I'm really sure it's safe."

"But it's alien."

"Victoria knows her way around alien," Jack winked.

"Who is she?"

"Come on," Jack sat down and motioned for Ianto to join him. "This is your day off, remember? Try to relax a little."

"That's not always easy around you."

Jack chuckled at him, "Well if you keep it up, you'll lose that penalty you gained over me earlier."

"No I won't."

"Oh?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Why's that?"

Ianto leaned in close, "Because you want to know what I've got in mind."

_Damn… _Ianto really did know him too well and that smug look on his face… what Jack wouldn't do to kiss it right off the young Welshman long and hard and… Jack cleared his throat, trying to ignore the bulge in his own britches. He called back to Victoria to ask her how it was coming. The program he'd given her really should be compatible –

"I've just about got it – but I'm telling you, Captain, if this fries out our circuits, I'm billing Torchwood!"

Jack laughed, "Guess it's a good thing Ianto's taken over the financials."

"Lucky him – ready?" she asked then, coming back to the seating area at last.

"Yes, Ma'am," Jack replied.

"I should say, Mr. Jones – you _are _a marvelous influence on the Captain. He'd best be keeping you – either that or I might steal you for my grandson."

"Sorry – he's spoken for," Jack spoke without thinking… only it wasn't like they actually had an arrangement or anything… _so why am I suddenly bothered by the thought of anyone else occupying his time…? _Oh well, it probably didn't matter, it wasn't like either of them had much time anyway… _guess that sort of makes this an arrangement of convenience…_ Jack completely missed the flush of crimson that overtook Ianto's cheeks just then, too, as the lights in the room dropped out, plunging them into darkness (darkness Ianto was grateful for because the last thing he wanted Jack to see was him turning bright red at the thought of being 'spoken for.')

In a moment more the blackness was replaced with swirls of color – images drifted across the screen, hazy at first – then pin pricks of light – dust – gas –

"Oh, Jack – " Victoria breathed as the star field came into view… Ianto noticed the way she slid her arm into his so easily – so unafraid – he envied that courage…

But it was Ianto that Jack looked at: "What do you think?"

"It's beautiful," he responded honestly, even if he didn't know what he was looking at. None of the stars looked familiar (not that he could do much more than pick out the Big Dipper on a clear night, anyway.) Still, it _was_ beautiful, all those pin pricks of light in the velvet dark sky, each one a star – each one with planets whizzing around it at hundreds of thousands of miles an hour…it was a wonder they didn't all go careening into space, really… "But what is it – ?" he finally asked, when he realized he couldn't even find the Big Dipper in amongst the foreign star clusters.

"Watch," said Jack.

The stars seemed to move closer – closer – _closer_ – suddenly it felt like he was flying through them – a swirl of gasses loomed up in the distance – closer – he thought he recognized it as something he'd seen somewhere – "It's – that's amazing, Jack – " Ianto breathed, barely aware that he'd spoken. He recognized it then, the Horse-head Nebula – but it didn't look like any of the computer generated models he'd ever seen on television… "Where did you – ? How?" all he got by way of a reply was a _very_-pleased-with-himself-smirk out of the Captain. "Jack?"

"Watch," Jack told him again, the smile deepening.

It was like moving further into the nebula – swirls of gas formed up into dust balls, stars being born before his eyes. It was like he was sitting right under it, watching it happen, billions of years compressed into ten minutes… Ianto heard Victoria whisper 'magnificent' – and he had to agree, it was…_but where had Jack gotten this…_? Ianto cast another quick glance over at the other man; he wasn't just wearing a pleased with himself smirk, there was something in his eyes… joy… pleasure… Jack nodded towards the dome and Ianto returned his attention to it.

The lights seemed to be coming up but rather than the end of the show, the 'sky' above them became purple, then indigo then deep sapphire blue, and then almost pink, lit up by a thousand more stars than Ianto had ever seen in a night sky… the nebula they'd been sitting in the middle of a moment ago now dominated one horizon while a trio of small round moons was setting on the other… Ianto's breath caught when he realized what he was looking at…_another world… __an __**alien**__ planet… _"Is this real?" he asked.

Jack's smile was all the answer he needed…_yes, very real…_ Ianto found himself on his feet, looking around the room – the image was so real he felt as if he could almost touch it. It was more solid looking than he remembered any planetarium show ever being… where had Jack gotten this… ? Slowly, very, very slowly, night turned into day as a pair of suns rose, one yellow one red. The sky turned from pink to almost white, the nebula still visible as a patch of bright blue and yellow gas; on the horizon stood strange twisted trees with red leaves and in the distance, a spiraling tower that looked like it might be made of crystal shone in the light of the twin suns. "Jack – " overwhelmed, he looked back to see Jack's smile and that was just as overwhelming. "I've never seen anything so beautiful."

Jack stood up and crossed the distance between them, "It's not all aliens waiting to invade," he said quietly, touching the back of Ianto's hands for just the briefest of moments but not actually taking them in his. "It's places like this – alien skies – stars being born – it's wonder and splendour beyond imagination. I wanted you to see that – to know it."

"I – "

"Shhh – just watch."

Slowly the image shifted again, another world under a cool green sky with vast ocean stretching out before while overhead a great ringed moon or perhaps planet hung low in the sky… a single, distant orange sun rose and set, stars filling the sky in strange shapes that Jack named for him, alien constellations dreamed of by alien people… alien species… another world and another and another… moons…skies…suns… cities… the depths of space where stars were born and died, where galaxies collided… the terrible beauty of a black hole the size of a hundred suns spinning at the centre of a galaxy… Jack's hand resting lightly on his back, his voice in Ianto's ear… his scent… his smile… the look in his eyes telling Ianto that he hadn't shared something quite like this with anyone else… a dozen sunsets illuminated Jack's features as they stood together under a dozen alien skies, watching moons rise and fall, watching seasons change, oceans ebb and flow… Ianto felt rooted to the spot, unable to move, unable to breathe… "It's so beautiful," he managed to find his voice when the sky became one he recognized at last… earth… home… Cardiff.

"I just wanted you to see what's really out there, Yan," Jack's voice was so soft – so close.

"Thank you," Ianto was aware of just how close he really was to Jack just then and he longed for the courage to just reach out and kiss him… but then Jack stepped back… the warmth of his hand was gone… "Thank you," Ianto repeated in what he hoped was a more conversational tone.

"You're very welcome," Jack he smiled a smile that started deep in his eyes. "This is when it all changes – this century – this is when you people reach out and touch the sky. You can't be afraid of it."

Victoria cleared her throat lightly, "And speaking of touching the sky, after we have some supper, I pulled some stings and cleared the telescope schedule for tonight – it's free for use."

"I really – I don't know what to say – " Ianto stammered. (He knew just enough about astronomy from the science channel to know that any big telescope was always in demand.) "Jack – " _did he really arrange all this just for me…? _How could he ever pay that back – ?

"Just promise me that when you look up there you'll remember this because it isn't all aliens waiting to attack."

Ianto nodded – but – "But – will we be ready – you said now is when it happens – this century. Are we really ready?"

"You're going to have to be."

"Is that why you're here?"

Jack's smile was impossible to read, "I'm just waiting for somebody."

"Who?"

"Exactly. Come on – let's get something to eat – Professor Waterfield – " he offered her his arm, "I trust you can recommend some place near by?"

"Near is a bit relative – but yes, I had some place in particular in mind and it's not that far really. Best bangers and mash in Cheshire, too, I might add."

Jack chuckled, "I can hardly wait."

Ianto caught himself just short of mentioning that Jack hated bangers and mash – but certainly there would have more than one thing on the menu…

…………………………………………..

"It looks different now, doesn't it?" Jack asked quietly; it was just past one o'clock in the morning and Victoria was locking up behind them. The views from the telescope hadn't been nearly as spectacular as what he'd cobbled together from personal footage and advanced computer programming, but it was the best this planet could offer for a first hand look and there was nothing like seeing something with your own two eyes.

"Is that what you really see when you look up there?" Ianto asked. "All that – ?"

"Every time."

"You miss it, don't you?"

Jack just shrugged – he missed it very much, but to say so would probably only hurt the young man standing next to him, but being stuck on one world, one time, just _waiting_… it was maddening at times… _and at other times, it's so worth it… _he looked again at that very handsome young man standing next to him feeling the same surge of warmth inside… _but I'm just biding time…_ Jack reminded himself.

"That's why you roofs so much, isn't it – it's the closet you can get to out there."

"Yep."

"I never had any idea – "

"Very few people do. I'd like to keep it that way."

"Of course – " Ianto looked up as Victoria joined them. "Thank you so much," he told her in earnest. Jack might have set it up, but he wouldn't have been able to carry it off without her help.

"Jack was the mad genius behind this plan – I was just along to press the buttons."

Jack's laugh was loud enough to startle Ianto, but Victoria took it in stride, understanding just what he meant… they'd both had their share of adventures… she took Jack by the arm, asking Ianto if she might steel him a moment and after everything she'd done he could hardly refuse…

Victoria steered Jack well away from the young Welshman, who seemed content enough to sit himself on the observatory steps, staring up at the night sky with newfound wonder… "You know, Jack," she said in a low voice, "It's really no good at all pining away for a man who can never really return the affection one wants him to."

"I have to find him. I have to know what happened to me, why I am the way I am."

"But then what? He left you once – "

"I know that."

She glanced back towards Ianto, "What about him?"

"What about him?"

"Jack – "

"I didn't mean it like that! Of course he matters. But – we're just – just friends."

She gave him a penetrating look.

"All right, maybe we're more than 'just' friends but it's not anything serious. All I'm doing is biding my time, waiting for _him_." _The Doctor._

"And yet you went through all this trouble – you put an awful lot of work into that program, Jack Harkness, do not try to pretend otherwise," she added as he tried to protest. "If I know you, you did it by yourself and for all your fifty-first century smarts, computer programs aren't you specialty."

"He lost his girlfriend a while back – Cybermen. I felt like I owed him something, some kind of hope – just one thing to hang onto."

"I suspect you're giving him plenty to hang onto – "

"Miss Victoria Waterfield – !" he cried out in feigned shock.

She chuckled, "I teach on a University campus, Jack. Please don't expect that I'm particularly ignorant of the moral decay of this century."

"You say decay, I say liberation."

"I believe that's what they said in the sixties and what did that get us?"

"Disco?"

She laughed, "My point, Jack, is that that young man is right here, right now, while the Doctor is out there somewhere – somewhen – and you don't even know when he's coming back. Even when he does, it won't be for you and you know it." Her words seemed intentionally sharp.

"That doesn't change how I feel about him."

"There are all sorts of love, Jack Harkness. The mad and the passionate – the impossible – those aren't what will keep you warm when you're old and gray."

"You're assuming I'm going to get old and gray." (His words were sharp, but it wasn't intentional.)

She smiled up at him, anyway, "Everyone gets old and gray eventually. Even you."

"Maybe. But there's only one person who can tell me what really happened to me and until I know that – I can't – I can't start something here. Now. Not until I know who I am."

"You're more than what you are – but – all right," she relented at last. "I should be getting home before Howard starts to worry – you're sure you wouldn't like to stay the night – we do have that guest room – "

"I've been gone from Cardiff for too long as it is – no telling what the rest of the kiddies have been up to while I was gone. But thank you," he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "For everything."

"You're quite welcome, Jack. Say – did you know that once upon a time I had a mad crush on you?"

"Why didn't you ever say anything? I had no idea. "

"Even as young woman I'd seen enough of the universe to know that a man like you would only break my heart. But you have been a very good friend and for that I will always be grateful."

"It's been my pleasure," he told her earnestly. Jack saw Victoria to her car, closed the door behind her, stood and watched as she drove off down the lane – then he joined Ianto at the SUV.

"Jack – thank you – no one has ever given me anything so special," the young man flushed a warm shade of pink, not quite meeting Jack's gaze.

Jack smiled, "You're welcome," impulsively, he leaned in – found Ianto receptive to the kiss… he almost wished they could take the night, but just because Toshiko hadn't called him in a panic six times didn't mean he wasn't going to walk into a mess in a few hours… "Come on – we should get back."

Ianto nodded, "Do you need me to drive – ?"

"I'll be fine, but you should get some sleep. I only gave you _one _day off remember," Jack winked. "I need you up and running on all cylinders tomorrow."

"That would be today, actually, Sir," Ianto teased him.

Jack laughed, "So it would. Hope you don't mind me taking up your whole day off."

"Not at all," Ianto slid into the passenger seat…. He hadn't planned to fall asleep, he was just going to close his eyes for a moment but the next thing he realized he was covered in Jack's coat – Jack's scent – and Jack was easing the SUV up to the curb in front of his building. "Sorry – must've dozed off."

"You were out cold before I even got back to the highway."

"Sorry."

"I had Allan Quartermaine to keep me company."

"Did it finish?"

"About three hours left to go."

"I suppose for our next road trip, you're going to have to pick something closer to home then," Ianto teased.

"Or bring another book."

"Or bring another book," Ianto agreed wondering if Jack was really serious… but looking at him, Ianto couldn't see anything in his face to suggest otherwise… _does he really want to do something like this again, I wonder…? _

"Ianto – what I said before about not wanting the others to know where I come from – how I got here – "

"No worries, Jack." _It's not as if you've actually told me how you got here anyway… _"Your secrets will always be safe with me."

"I know. I trust you."

"Thank you."

"You've earned it."

Before sliding out of the SUV, Ianto leaned over – Jack met him half way. "I'll see you in a couple of hours," Ianto said quietly, several long and very wonderful moments later.

"Breakfast?" Jack asked.

"Sounds good."

…………………………………………………………..

**A/N:**

Victoria Waterfield, is an early companion of the Doctor's (second incarnation)… the rest of her story will come out in the next chapter of **Short Stories** which is set after **End of Days** / before **Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. **

The only thing I want to note here is that although I haven't read any of the other media stories involving Victoria, I've been able to skim they synopsizes and have decided that, as the canonocity is questionable anyway, to completely ignore them because I just didn't care for the story (or her role in it.) She was featured on one of those odd little specials that the BBC does and something about the way she looked/was costumed reminded me of an anthropology I had in college some years ago, so I went with that.


	13. Just Three Words

**Just Three Words**

* * *

_**Synopsis:**_

_**A/N:**_

I was going to continue with my take on what happened after the **End of Days**, but I've been hacking away at it for a couple of days and it is just too depressing… so here's something distinctly _not_ depressing! I hope you enjoy… **this is especially for TracyLynn who wanted more romance (me too!)**

_There are three words both Jack and Ianto have been avoiding saying to one another for far too long…_

_**Setting:**_

_After my story_ _**A New Day**__ (which is post __**Exit Wounds**__.)_

* * *

"See you in the morning," Gwen called as she headed for the door. It was half six, unusually early for any of them to be leaving. But other than a bit of excitement with a Weevil a few hours ago, it had been a quiet day so Jack had told her to get home to that husband of hers. (Ianto suspected the Captain was trying to make up for constantly forgetting that she was Gwen Williams now, not Gwen Cooper.)

Ianto wished her a good night… _two weeks since Wendy… three weeks since… since then. That night. Gray... _

"Drive safely," the Welshman said to his departing coworker as she made her exit. Jack hadn't had to tell her twice to go home for the night.

Gwen smiled at him, "Will do, Ianto. You have a good night too." She turned towards the medical bay. "Liz...! Thanks for the book. I'll see you in the morning, yeah?"

"Are you leaving?"

"Jack said to..."

Liz's soft chuckle echoed up from the bay. "Have a good night then, Luv."

"I will, thanks."

Ianto raised an eyebrow wondering what those two were up. In the past couple of weeks Liz Shaw had become a part of their family and he loved having her around... Just the same, Ianto knew they needed to find a proper medic of their own some time soon. At fifty something, Liz shoudln't be out in the field.

He just hated the prospect of the inevitable. As insufferable as Owen could be, Ianto missed him. He missed them both…

He finished the report he'd been working on and looked around his desk readily finding at least three other things required his attention; fortunately at least two of them could wait until morning. The one thing that couldn't wait was the note Jack had left asking him to answer some of his email… _and for this I __**ought**__ to get a raise… _

He typed in Jack's password… an email from Martha (looked personal); he flagged it and moved on to the next… Victoria. He smiled and opened it even though it probably was personal also. It had been so long since he'd seen her, he'd almost forgotten about her. The email was the usual chit chat – Ianto took a moment to answer her, indicating that Jack would probably answer himself when he got a chance but he'd wanted to say hello…

As usual, Jack's scent preceded him.

"Anything interesting?" Jack queried with a quiet, warm sort of smile as he stepped in closer, totally unaware, Ianto was certain, of the flipflops the younger man's stomach was doing in responce to his presance... that hand he laid on the young Welshman's shoulder...

He smiled up at him; it seemed as if Jack was smiling more and more with each passing day. It made Ianto feel happy to see it.

"You have an e-mail from Victoria Waterfield-Davies," he said. "I sent a brief hello on my own behalf."

"I'm sure she'll be glad to hear from you. How is she?"

"Fine by all accounts – would you like me to bring it back up for you?"

"I'll get it later," he moved in a little closer, both hands on Ianto's shoulders. "Why don't you finish that up and knock it off for the day, too?"

"You sure?"

"Daleks invading London?"

The younger man snickered, "Not as near as I can tell, no."

"Then wrap it for the night. That's an order," Jack raised his brows and shot over a lacivious smirk.

Ianto's responce, however, was deadpan. "Yes, Sir."

"Don't get cute," the other warned, still grinning.

"I thought you liked when I got cute. Sir," he teased.

Jack gave him a sharp look, or at least he tried to. It was hard to glare at somebody smiling at him the way Ianto was just then. He decided to give up while he could still claim he was a head.

He pulled away from the young Welshman; he headed towards the medical bay, stopping just a the top of the stair. "How's that autopsy coming?" he asked Liz.

"Nearly done, Captain. But I can tell you the good news."

Jack raised his eyebrow, questioningly.

"Its last meal wasn't human."

"I suppose that's some consolation," Ianto muttered from his station, where he was finishing up Jack's email.

"Probably not to the German Sheppard," Liz told them; climbed the stairs looking tired. "I think it's time you hired yourself someone younger, Jack. These twelve hour days are killing me."

He grinned at her, "You never looked better, Dr. Shaw."

"You're a liar and a rogue, but quite good for my ego. Just the same, I really do have to be getting back to my own work – and don't you start," she added over at Ianto who was working very hard to conceal his smile behind the computer screen. He was as good for her ego as Jack. "I'm going home for the night. I trust seeing as its dead it can wait until morning to be more properly identified?"

"I'll search the database... "

"The search is already running, Jack. I said I was getting old, not sloppy."

He cleared his throat; he should have known better. "I'll see you in the morning, Liz," he leant in and kissed her cheek.

"I meant it about hiring somebody," she told him again, stripping out of the lab coat and gathering up her things. "It's time, Jack," she added softly to the hurt look that he was trying very hard not to let her see. They all knew why he was dragging his feet on it... but she couldn't stay on forever.

"Night Liz," Ianto called to her as the cog door rolled aside.

"Make him hire somebody," she said as she made her exit.

"I'm his boyfriend, not his keeper."

"In my day, those two titles were anything but mutually exclusive."

"Good night, Elizabeth," Jack told her, his tone dripping feigned sternness; all it got him was a glare from her and a chuckle from Ianto. He walked towards the younger man's work station, "Boyfriend, huh?" he encircled Ianto's waist with his arms. _Boyfriend..._

"Well I've got to call it something."

"How about employee?"

"When you start acting like a boss, I'll start acting like an employee," Ianto met the challenge in Jack's voice with a wicked grin.

"I can see I'm going to have to tighten the reigns around here," the Captain continued to tease.

"Promises, promises."

"I'm warning you mister... "

Ianto just leaned up and Jack met the kiss half way. Even at that angle, it was a good kiss (and an execellent way to shut Jack up.)

"So..." Jack nodded towards the computer, "almost done slogging through my email?"

"Yeah, about that.."

"Nope."

"You hadn't even heard the question yet!"

Jack just laughed, "And the answer is still no."

"Well in any case, yes, I'm finished. But erm... I was... I was going to head out for a bit – if you don't mind?"

"No, of course not. Why should I mind?" _just because I've gotten used to having you here…**really** used to having you here... _but it couldn't last forever. Ianto would eventually want to go home...

"I just wanted to go by my flat," the younger man's words confirmed what Jack was thinking.

He stepped back a little, to give him some space. To give himself some space. The words 'my flat' had stung more than Jack had expected them to. He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. "Ah. Well. All right." He forced a smile. It wasn't as if they'd actually discussed this new 'arrangement' in any detail.

Ianto had brought a few suits and hung them in his wardrobe. He'd put his toothbrush on the sink next to Jack's; he'd brought his razor, his shaving cream and aftershave… all of the little necessities. He'd stayed the night. He'd stayed every night since the night Jack first invited him to stay and up until now he'd given no indication that he was the least bit unhappy with their unspoken, unspecified agreement. But it couldn't last forever, Jack knew that. Still, it _had_ been nice to play house for a little while and he'd tried to prove that he could do domestic... _and _Ianto was giving him a very quizzical look.

"Jack – I just need to pick up a few things."

The relief that flooded him surprised him... "Like what?" he asked, trying to cover it up.

Suddenly the youner man looked uncomfortable, too. "Well... if I'm going to stay... a few more days, maybe... unless you're sick of me....?"

"_No._ You... can stay as long as you want."

He cleared his throat. "Well. Then I need to pick up a few things, don't I? I should probably run my shirts to the dry clearners while I'm out, too," his tone became more relaxed sounding. "Shall I take yours in while I'm at it?"

"Yeah. Sure. Need a hand?"

"Not really – but I wouldn't mind the company."

"I can do company."

"You can do lots of things," retorted the younger man with a wry grin.

"Would you care for a demonstration, Mr. Jones?" He leant in... Ianto met his kiss.

"Later," he said when they pulled apart. "I'd actually like to get out of here and get this taken care of during this temporary lull in the storm."

"As much as I normally wouldn't agree with anything that gets you further away from – " _my? _"Our bed, I think you might be on to something." But if Ianto had thought anything of that 'our', it didn't register on his face…

………………………………………………………..

"So what are we here for?" Jack inquired when the arrived; Ianto had already started sorting through his mail. There was a woefully small stack of it piled up in the letter box. From where Jack was standing, it looked mostly like catalogues... clothing... clothing... homewares... more clothing...

"Hmmm...?" Ianto looked up to see Jack staring over his shoulder and quickly tossed the pile of catalogues to the coffee table. Somehow having someone else see his mail made him feel a bit pathetic. "Not much," he answered his original question. "I told you I didn't really need any help. I just wanted to collect the rest of my work clothes... " he wavered just a little. Had Jack really meant it that he could stay as long as he wanted? "That is assuming you honestly haven't gotten sick of the company...?" he gave over a hopeful look.

"Not a chance. Shall I start in your underwear drawer or your closet?" asked Jack with a lascivious grin that had him chuckling and blushing at the same time.

"I honestly just came for a few changes of clothes for work, Jack."

"You still need clean underwear."

"All right – yes, I still need clean underwear..."

"Socks."

"Yes, and socks."

"Shoes."

"I only own one pair of dress shoes."

"What about your other shoes?"

"Sorry, suits and trainers aren't my style."

Jack grinned at something that Ianto didn't understand… however: "Well what about trainers and jeans?"

Ianto turned and looked at him; Jack realized his vague attempt at being clever wasn't working.

"Are... are you trying to say something to me?" the younger man asked in a tone that was just barely neutral.

"Just because you've more or less..." _no,_ Jack decided, he didn't want to use the words _moved in._ If he was misreading something, he didn't want to use the wrong words. "Just because you're there all the time," he amended mid-sentence, "doesn't mean you have to always dress like you do for work."

"Except that it_ is_ where I work, remember? You were just making a fuss about it earlier, in fact," he added with a grin. Then, in a wholly different sort of tone: "Unless of course you're trying to tell me something." The hopefulness of his tone was lost on the older man.

Jack _was_ trying to tell him something, but instead of just saying it, he said something else entirely. "I just meant to remind you that you still can have a life outside Torchwood."

"Jack, I haven't had a life outside Torchwood since the day I signed on with you. I'm not unhappy about that, you know."

Jack gave him one of those long appraising looks. The young Welsman returned with a smile and took a step closer. It was almost automatic now for their hands to touch... fingers to intertwine. "But if you're trying to say something...?" he repeated in the same hopeful tone. _If you're saying you want me to move in..._

"I wouldn't want you doing anything you didn't want to on my account."

Ianto took a breath and let it out. No amount of hopefulness was going to help him here. And it was his turn to miss the look in his lover's eyes, the sudden fear that he'd screwed up again, said the wrong thing because he didn't know how to say the right thing... "Get it through that fifty-first century brain of yours, Jack – even if you don't ever explicitly ask me to move _in, _I'm not moving _out_ unless you tell me to," Ianto told him truthfully.

"Are you sure you really want to do that?"

"Are you saying you don't want me staying there with you?"

"_No_. I just don't want you to give up on your life."

"I'm not. One might even say I'm getting on with it."

He swallowed, understanding (he hoped) what Ianto wasn't quite saying. "Do... do you really mean what I think you mean?" _Do you really..._

"I have loved you for a _very_ long time, Jack."

And Jack _didn't_ miss the nervous little tremor in his Welshman's voice when he said that, the look of uncertainty in Ianto's eyes. "I erm...I..." he floundered. He knew what he wanted to say...

"You don't have to say anything," the younger man was quick to tell him. "I just wanted to say it because it's been this... this hurtle that I've been afraid to jump over for too long and if I learned anything at all last three weeks it's that life is really too short to be afraid to tell the people you love just how much you really care about them."

Tosh loved that miserable sot for so long and never said anything and even if she had, it probably wouldn't have changed anything because Owen was Owen…_and I miss him __**so**__ much… _but she never said how she felt, not until it was too late and what good did that do because Owen wasn't even there to hear her…

"I love you, Jack," he repeated. "Even if you never return it, it doesn't matter..." _**liar**..._ There had been a time when he'd been ready to tell Jack he loved him even if it wasn't reciprical... a time when it wouldn't have mattered... but it mattered now. It was why Ianto couldn't look him in the eye.

"I do have something to say," Jack's voice was soft. "I want you to know how much having you to rely on... to turn to... to depend on... has meant to me the past two years," (and Ianto heard it in his tone: _the past two thousand years…_ he looked up to meet his gaze again.) "I want you to know much_ you've_ meant to me, Ianto Jones. I'm not sure I've always deserved your loyalty – but I'm grateful for it." He reached up and brushed the back of his hand across Ianto's cheek, an uncharacteristic gesture that was becoming more common place. He drew the younger man into a soft kiss, his face cupped in his hands. "I want you to know that I love you too. I have. I will always and I don't care how dangerous a word that is for me to be 'bandying' about. I mean it. And yes, I would like you to move in with me. I'd kinda hoped the hamper might give that away," he added with half a sly little grin.

Ianto chuckled, "It went a long way towards giving me the idea that I might be welcome to stay on for a bit."

"There is one condition though."

"Oh?"

"I meant what I said about a life outside Torchwood."

"And I meant what I said about not having had one for a long time, Jack. Torchwood is my life."

"No. Torchwood... it shouldn't be _ anybody's _ life. Please, promise me... your life is too short... don't cut yourself off from the rest of the world, Yan. _Please_."

"All right."

"Good – now can I have at your underwear drawer?" he asked with a smirk.

"The closet's that way," Ianto pointed out the obvious. "Keep everything on the hangers – there are some empty garment bags under the bed – no more than five hangers per bag. I mean it – I don't want everything to get all wrinkly on the ride over."

Jack just laughed, "Sir, yes Sir!"

"Don't _**you **_get cute."

Still laughing, Jack began tackling the closet…


	14. Monday Morning

**Chapter Fourteen: Monday Morning**

* * *

**AN:**

First bit is definitely "M" – not quite explicate, but sexual just the same. Hope nobody's sensibilities are offended. There is something of a mini-story later on, so it's really not all smut and fluff ;-)

**Setting:**

Set after my story **Moving On** _(still in progress)_but it isn't really related to that plot line, so you don't have to have read that to get this. Just take it for granted that there are new team members and that Liz has finally gone back home. Enjoy!

* * *

Ianto pulled back gently, looking down at the serene expression on Jack's face. He loved the little post-coital smile, the way Jack let out one last breath before opening his eyes to look up at him. He loved the look in those blue eyes when he met Jack's gaze. "You really enjoy that, don't you?"

"Don't you?"

Ianto laughed at the absurd genuineness of Jack's tone when he asked that, as if he really needed to hear the answer aloud. "What do you think?"

"No, what I meant was…"

Ianto leant down and kissed him, effectively ending the conversation. "By the way, we're out again," he picked up the empty condom box. "Which we owe more to you and Bobby using them as water balloons than our sex life."

Jack attempted to feign innocence, but it didn't work. "It was done in the name of science," he tried to argue instead.

"I think if Liz were still here, you wouldn't be trying to pull that one." He shot Jack a look, trying as hard to pretend that he was cross as Jack was trying to pretend he was innocent. It worked about as well.

Ianto set about searching for the toys scattered around Jack's prone body… under the duvet… exactly how _that one_ had ended up tucked under the mattress was a mystery…

"You know if you untied me," Jack crooned at him, "I could help you with that."

"I'll think about it."

Jack blinked in surprise. "Hey!" he yelped as Ianto vanished into the bathroom. Ianto's laugh was maddening. All Jack could do was lie there and listen to the water run; every now and again he'd get a brief flash of Ianto's behind as he moved. "My nose itches!" he protested when he finally decided that Ianto was making a point of taking his time cleaning up.

"You'll live," the younger man called out to him, his grin audible.

Some moments later, he returned and put everything neatly back into footlocker at the end of the bed. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed and gazed down at Jack, a smug look on his face. "I'll untie you when you tell me you don't hate it that I organized the trunk."

"Is that what this is about?" Jack knew he'd done something to piss Ianto off… well, piss him off in a way that Jack didn't really mind him being mad, if the last two hours was any indication of what Ianto could be like when he was angry.

"Yes, that is exactly what this is about. I am sick of you moaning about my tidying up," despite the harshness of his tone, he was grinning. Ianto never would have rearranged Jack's footlocker before having been asked to move in, but if he was seriously going to live here, there were certain changes he was going to insist on. And if Jack was going to be a baby about it, well… he'd just find ways to convince Jack that he shouldn't be. Or at the very least that moaning would do him more harm than good. (Of course he realized he may have missed the mark there on 'harm', but it had certainly been fun watching Jack squirm.)

"All right, fine. I don't hate it that you organized the trunk." _By purpose, size, shape __**and**__ colour._

"That wasn't very sincere," Ianto drawled, running a hand idly down Jack's chest… around one nipple… then the other…

"Ianto."

The younger man seemed to be having a very hard time stifling his grin. "Make me believe you or I'll leave you there."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

"You are an evil man, Ianto Jones."

Ianto chuckled, "And you're only just now figuring that out?" he leant in and kissed Jack long and hard, slipping his hand further down the other man's body. They had at least another hour before anyone was due into the hub. Last night had been a late one and Jack told the others not to show up before noon unless the world was coming to an end. Again. Ianto loved late nights. They meant really fantastic mornings.

"A very evil man," Jack murmured in between kisses as Ianto moved his hand slowly and so very lightly along his inner thighs.

"Yup. That's me. Evil to the core," he pulled back, withdrawing his hand as well as his kiss. "So. Are you going to try that again or would you like to spend the whole day 'tied up with something very important and unable to be disturbed'?" he smiled maliciously.

It suddenly occurred to Jack that Ianto just might do it. "I hope you realize this is insubordination," he said in the most authoritative tone he could muster (which wasn't very authoritative given that most of his blood had shifted south brain.)

"So write me up. _Sir_." Ianto challenged.

Jack swallowed. Being tied up all day wouldn't be the worst thing that had ever happened to him… he could play it out, beg his big bad captor to bring him a morsel of food later in return for whatever sexual favours Ianto demanded… it could be fun. But the position he was stretched out in was starting to get a little uncomfortable… Not that a little discomfort was necessarily a bad thing, except when he remembered that Ianto had plans today that would take him out of the hub for a couple of hours... "I really, really, really don't hate it that you organized the trunk," he poured every bit of sincerity that he had into that statement.

Ianto shot him a look, still clearly not buying it.

"All right. I don't hate it. I just think that maybe by colour was a bit much," he admitted.

The Welshman nodded, apparently satisfied by that last bit of honesty. He untied the knots as easily as he'd tied them, releasing Jack's ankles first and then his wrists.

"Where the Hell did you learn to tie knots like that anyway?" Jack asked, easing himself into a sitting position.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Maybe you could show me," Jack moved closer, pressing his lips to the younger man's. After having been tied up for almost two hours, it felt good to finally be able to slip his arms around Ianto's body.

"I could," Ianto all but purred into his ear. "But I won't. Now come on… we both need a shower."

"It can wait…"

"We're out of something, remember."

"I can think of lots of things to do with you that we don't need water balloons for," Jack gave him a lascivious grin. "And it_ was_ a scientific experiment."

"If I find condoms on an expense report, _you're_ going to be the one filing it."

………………………………

Ianto slid into his favourite pair of jeans, tucking the black t-shirt into them. "You're sure you don't mind my going out today?" he asked; he pulled a red short-sleeved shirt out of his half the closet and slipped it on. Looking himself over in the mirror on the back of the closet door Ianto decided to tuck that in as well, buttoning it up a couple more buttons. He shouldn't be anxious, but he couldn't help it. It wasn't Jack's gaze on him that had him self conscious, either. He unbuttoned the buttons again, and the buttoned them back up.

"You look _fine_," Jack slipped up behind him, wrapping both arms around Ianto's waist. "And I think the four of us can handle the hub for a day. Go have fun."

Ianto gave him a dark look.

Jack pulled him closer. "You know… if you wanted me to come with you…?" he offered tentatively.

"Oh_ that_ would be brilliant," Ianto's tone was scathing. He almost missed the hurt look on Jack's face. "Jack… I didn't mean…I just… "

"I know. You like to keep your private life private."

Ianto turned to face him, sliding his arms around Jack's shoulders. "It's not that. It's just… you don't know my family."

"They can't be that awful. Look at what we face down on a weekly basis and tell me the Joneses are really worse."

He sighed. "They're not. Well, my sister isn't. Gavin's not so bad either, really. That's the younger of my two older brothers," he clarified.

Ianto had made it a habit not to discuss family matters with Jack or anybody else at Torchwood… well… maybe Tosh, a little. But that was just because they'd both spent so many late nights working and sometimes they'd get to talking and suddenly realize it was midnight and they both had to be back in, in a few hours...

Ianto still felt a pang of loss when he thought about her. Owen. He pulled in close to Jack without explaining why; Jack didn't seem to care the reason. He held on tight, letting Ianto lean on him for as long as he wanted. After a long moment, Ianto pulled away, giving Jack's lips a soft kiss.

He retrieved his trainers from the closet and sat down on the chair to put them on. He looked up at Jack, who was going about the business of assembling his wardrobe for the day, and wondered just how he would introduce him to his sister. Partner? Friend? Lover? Boss?

It really was inevitable that Jack should meet them. Mam was still going on about Lisa, alternately mourning the loss of her would-be daughter in law and encouraging Ianto to get out and find somebody new and get on with his life… although the sort of somebody his mother had in mind was probably neither male nor American. Never mind that Jack wasn't from the States, that's what people assumed as soon as he opened his mouth to say 'hello'. _But it's either let people assume he's a Yank or explain that he was born on another planet three thousand years in the future…_ all things considered, it was better for him to be perceived as American.

Ianto sighed, "Do you really like to come to lunch with me?"

"Only if you want me to," Jack knelt down next to him, meeting his gaze.

"Can I be honest and say no, I don't."

"Of course," Jack tried to mask the hurt. He didn't even know why he cared. Ianto spoke of his family so infrequently, it was almost possible to forget he had one. If Jack hadn't had access to his file, he might just assume that to be the case.

"Even if I don't want you to come… you should. If you want to."

Jack looked at him, hoping for some sort of explanation.

"I can't keep dodging it, every time it comes up about whether or not I'm seeing someone. And I _can't _take another fiasco like Gavin's birthday party," he groaned loudly at the memory.

Jack arched his eyebrows questioningly. Ianto hadn't told him what had actually happened that day, he just came back to the hub muttering something about how he'd rather take on a pack of weevils single handedly than to ever have to do _that_ again. Then he proceeded to get pissed. A few drunken ramblings had given Jack the impression that the festivities had involved some girl Ianto had gone to school with, whom he'd never liked but apparently his mother had…

"It was awful," was all Ianto said of the incident, now.

"I'm sure your mother meant well," Jack managed to sound sympathetic. He could tell Ianto a few meddling mother stories of his own…

"I know she did," Ianto assured him. "It would be easier if she hadn't. Then I could just be angry with her. But she honestly thought she was doing me a favour inviting Arianna to the party and practically flinging us at each other. Thank God Ari was as uncomfortable as I was."

Jack couldn't help but chuckle. He could picture the two of them, even though he had no idea what this Ari looked like, he could picture them anyway, standing there awkwardly under the watchful gaze of Ianto's entire family. He reached out and ran his hand along his Welshman's cheek, "It's up to you whether you're ready to… to let them know you're seeing somebody," he finished with a shrug of his shoulders.

Ianto looked at him then, so suddenly and so strangely, Jack was almost taken aback. "I'm not just _seeing_ somebody, Jack. You are… you're _everything_." He cupped Jack's face in his hands and pulled him forward into a kiss that he hoped would say all the things he'd never had the words for. Even saying the words _I love you_, as wonderful as they were to say and hear, it didn't begin to convey everything Ianto felt. Jack made him feel warm. Safe. Happy.

Jack met the kiss half way, returned it in kind…

And it might have lasted longer if the alarm hadn't sounded to let them know that somebody had shown up for work. It was almost one.

Ianto grinned through the kiss, "How much would you like to bet it's Gwen?" he asked.

"I try not to take losing bets."

The younger man chuckled. "Let me call my sister and let her know I'm bringing someone to lunch… and that we're running late."

Jack shot him a suddenly mischievous grin and wiggled his eyebrows. "You can tell her it's my fault. I got a little tied up at work this morning." He was rewarded by a wonderful rush of pink to Ianto's cheeks.

………………………………………………….

_**To be continued…**_


	15. Meeting Nerys

**Chapter Fifteen: Meeting Nerys**

* * *

**Setting:**

_Sequential w/ last chapter… _after all those compliments after the last chapter, I hope this one stands up to expectations ;-)

* * *

"I don't see why we couldn't take the SUV," Jack grumbled, as he hauled himself out of the passenger side of Ianto's sedan.

The younger man shot him a warning glare over the top of the car. "Don't start moaning. Not unless you really do want to spend a day 'tied up at work.'"

"I can think of worse ways to spend a day," Jack returned his lover's glare with a grin that was pure mischief. "So can you."

Ianto sighed; sometimes there was just no winning. "Could you please just stop complaining?" he begged. He was surprised by the way Jack's expression softened.

"For you, anything."

Ianto blinked. Jack being compliant made him more nervous than Jack being Jack.

"Ok, anything within reason," Jack qualified with a characteristically wicked grin.

Ianto couldn't help but chuckle, even if he still felt like he had pterodactyls in his gut (butterflies were definitely not this big.)

At least Jack was wearing a shirt that didn't immediately mark him as sixty years out of step with the rest of the world and the waistcoat did a nice job hiding the braces. It was the one Ianto had gotten him, a lovely aqua blue worsted wool that really brought out the colour of his eyes. As soon as Ianto had seen it in the shop window, he'd known it would look fantastic on Jack. This was the first time Ianto could remember seeing him wear it.

He led the way up to the door of the little Indian restaurant and opened the door for the Captain. "The reservation under Jones," Ianto said quietly, as Jack approached the hostess.

"You made reservations?"

"Yes, Jack," he drawled. "Unlike some other people I know, _**I**_ always make reservations."

"How was I supposed to know we'd need a reservation?"

"There were seven of us that night. The only reason I didn't call ahead was because you said you had it sorted."

Jack ignored him and turned back towards the hostess who was waiting to greet him with a warm smile.

The restaurant had just opened up a couple of months ago and had gotten rave reviews in two local papers. Ianto hoped it was as good as they said. It was certainly crowded, which made him glad he had made reservations, even if Nerys had reacted much the same way Jack just did when he'd told her the table was booked under his name. He suddenly realized that Jack and the hostess were conversing in some Indian sounding dialect. He looked at the older man. "You learned that, but you still don't know a single word of Welsh?" his tone was full of indignation.

"I know a few words," Jack assured him.

Ianto sighed. _Definitely no winning today… _

Jack nodded for the hostess to lead the way. He motioned for Ianto to go ahead of him, too, seeing as it was his sister they were here to meet. He scanned the room as they made their way through the crowded dining room. The only picture he'd ever seen Nerys Jones was at least five years old, but as soon as he saw the woman sitting alone staring out the window, he knew it was her. She had eyes exactly the same colour as Ianto's and the same colour hair, pulled back into long pony tail. When she looked up and saw them, she smiled exactly the same way Ianto did and stood up. She was wearing a white cotton blouse and snug blue jeans, with a wide silk and leather belt.

"Ianto! Oh, God, it's so good to see you!" she flung her arms around his neck. "I have missed you so much!"

Ianto scooped her up into a hug, "I've missed you too."

"Well you might not've missed me if you'd made Christmas last year!" she teased. "Remi was so disappointed."

"I'm sorry, honestly. It was like I said, a thing came up at work and I couldn't make it."

"You work in a tourist office, Yan. If you didn't want to come home, we could've snuck off somewhere and got pissed… sorry," she cast a quick look up at Jack. "I'm Nerys by the way. But I'll bet you figured that out," she extended her hand.

"Captain Jack Harkness," he said out of habit, accepting her handshake.

"Oooh, Captain is it?" her grin broadened.

He gave a small shrug, "Retired."

"And he's…?" she looked to her brother for clarification.

"We work together," Ianto blurted, without thinking. He felt rather than saw the way Jack took just half a step back, out of that intimate zone around a person.

"At the tourist office?" She gave Jack a questioning look.

He just nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"But you're American, aren't you?"

"Americans can't work at tourist offices?" Jack quipped back with a smile Ianto recognized as practiced.

Ianto cleared his throat nervously; he couldn't believe he'd just said that. Nerys had been the only one _not_ to overreact when he'd made the mistake of coming out as bisexual when he was seventeen. She hadn't understood, but she hadn't freaked out, and she was about the only member of his family that he bothered to keep in regular contact with.

He reached his hand back, hoping Jack would take it because he knew what he'd just said had hurt him. "We… we don't just work together Ner. We've… we live together," he fumbled. Feeling Jack's fingers curl around his, Ianto felt like he could breathe again, though. Jack stepped closer and laid a hand on his hip; whatever Nerys's reaction was, it wouldn't matter, he'd be all right.

"You _live_ together?" She glared first at Ianto and then Jack, then at her brother again. "Since when?"

"Six weeks ago."

Jack tightened his grip, drawing Ianto in closer.

"_Live _together, live tighter?" she wanted to know.

Ianto rolled his eyes, desperately wishing she would lower her voice. People were staring. "Yes, Nerys, we _live _together."

"In that dinky flat of yours?"

Without relaxing his grip, Jack flashed a grin, "Actually, he moved in with me. My place is a little bigger."

"On a tourist office wage?"

"We get by."

Nerys rolled her eyes exactly the same way Ianto did sometimes, "Oh, Mam is going to_ love_ this."

"Which part?" Ianto asked in dry tone.

"All of it. I need a glass of wine."

Jack released Ianto so he could play the gentleman and help Nerys with her chair.

She looked up at him, "I didn't think guys did that anymore."

"I suppose I'm not your average guy," he smirked.

Ianto shot him a look, silently begging him not to expound on that statement; Jack's grin broadened in response. Then he came back around to sit down next to Ianto, who had taken his seat after Nerys got settled. Ianto handed him a menu. "I think I'm going to need your help again," he said. "I can never remember what I like when it comes to Indian food."

"I didn't think you liked Indian food at all," said Nerys.

Jack smirked, "He doesn't."

"But he does," Ianto inclined his head towards Jack.

"An American who likes Indian food?"

"I like Chinese too," he gave her mischievous grin as he arched his eyebrows, "But lately Welsh is my favourite."

Ianto flushed a deep shade of crimson and tried to hide behind his menu. Jack just grinned.

Nerys seemed to still trying to figure out how to react when the waitress appeared to see if they'd like something from the bar.

"Wine. Red. A big one." Nerys told the woman.

"Ianto?" Jack asked; he was still hiding.

"Yup. A drink would be good."

Doing what he could not to laugh, Jack asked for an apple martini and a glass of scotch.

"He likes single-malt," Ianto managed to put his menu down at last.

The waitress nodded and took her leave to go get their drinks.

Nerys shot Jack a look. She looked at her brother too.

"You all right?" Jack asked his still blushing Welshman.

"I'd be better if you'd behave yourself for once."

"This _is_ behaving."

"So," Nerys interupted, "How long have you two been dating, then?"

"About… a year?" Ianto looked to Jack for confirmation as he was honestly unsure how to answer the question.

Jack nodded, "Our first date was about a year ago, I think." He couldn't help the smile on his face; it was a mix of amazement that it had been a year, at least for Ianto, and sadness. He hated it that things he was sure Ianto could remember clearly, like the details of their first real date, had become hazy in his own memory. _But two thousand years will do that._

Nerys's voice drew him out of his thoughts, even though it was Ianto she was grilling. "A whole_** year**_ ? You've been seeing this guy_** a**_ _**whole year**_ and you couldn't be bothered to mention it to me?" she hissed angrily. "You email me every bloody week but you never tell me one thing about what you're up to!"

Their drinks arrived before Ianto could answer; Nerys asked the woman to bring her another glass straight away. "I think I'm going to need it," she glowered at her brother and the man sitting next to him.

"What did you want me to say, Ner?" Ianto stirred his drink absently, meeting her angry gaze.

" 'Hey Nerys, I've met a bloke and he's really fantastic'… at least I'm _assuming_ you're really fantastic," she looked at Jack questioningly, before taking a big gulp of her wine.

"Well I like to think so," he said with a cheeky grin.

Ianto groaned, "Please don't get him started."

"Why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone?'

"Because I didn't want you to tell Mam."

"Oh for Heaven's sake…thank you," she said to the waitress who dropped her drink off quietly before making a quick escape.

Ianto waited until the poor woman was a couple of tables away from them before continuing. "Have you honestly forgotten what happened when came out?" he asked his sister.

"It might've helped if you'd been a bit more tactful about it."

"I was perfectly tactful. I told Mam first," he glanced at Jack, "And she went hysterical."

"She didn't go hysterical," Nerys insisted. "If anything, _I_ went hysterical. Dad lost his temper... so did Cade. Gavin and Dafydd just skulked off somewhere to hide," she explained, mostly for Jack's benefit.

Ianto shot his sister a look. "It wasn't that simple."

"All right, maybe Mam did go a little hysterical," she drained the first glass of wine and started in on the second. "But what did you expect, Ianto? It's not like you gave any of us any kind of warning. We weren't expecting you to just out and say it like you did. Jesus, what were you thinking, anyway?"

"I figured the only way to say it was to just say it. I didn't expect it to turn into World War Three in the dining room." He drank his drink

Nerys turned to Jack, "Well how didyour parents take it, then?" she inquired.

"Take what?" He'd barely touched his scotch.

"Your coming out. How did they take it?"

"Jack…" Ianto began in a warning tone.

"I never 'came out'"

"So you never told your parents that you're gay?" Her tone was a mix of surprise and irritation.

"Jack," Ianto said his name again.

"Why would I?" Jack asked her. "I'm not."

"_Jack." _

"Fine, bisexual then…" she glared at her brother who seemed to be interrupting every other sentence.

"What is it with you people and your labels?"

"_Us_ people?"

"_**Jack."**_

"I'm just saying I don't understand why you feel you have to_ label_ everything. Boyfriend, girlfriend, gay, straight, bisexual. It's so… narrow. And for the record, my mother never cared who or what I brought home with me, even the night I…" he yelped when Ianto kicked him under the table. "What was that for?"

Ianto ignored the question. "His parents were hippies," he said to his sister, knowing it was a lie.

Jack shot him a strange look, but the desperation in the younger man's eyes kept him from correcting the statement; instead he muttered about being stuck in the sexual dark ages.

"Do you think we could talk about something else please?" Ianto asked.

"Fine," Nerys took another long drink of her wine. "I'm suing JP for a divorce."

Ianto's jaw nearly hit the table. _"What?"_

"You heard me. I'm not just in Cardiff on holiday, I'm back for good."

"Nerys… what happened?"

"I decided I didn't want to look at my life in a few more years and realize I've wasted the best part of my life with the worst man I've ever met. It's bad enough I've wasted the last six years with him. I never would have been here this long if it weren't for getting pregnant when I did."

"How's Remi taking it? Is she with you or… "

"Of course she's with me. Do you think I'd leave her with that moron? As for how she's taking it, she's six, so what do you _expect_? She wants to know why mummy and daddy don't love each other any more and I haven't the heart to tell her I don't think I've ever loved her daddy, I just made the mistake of sleeping with him."

"Ner…"

She waved aside his concern and drained her second glass of wine before turning to Jack. "Sorry 'bout this. It's probably not the introduction to your boyfriend's family you'd imagined."

"I can leave if you two want some time alone…"

"If you do, he won't do anything but moan at me," she assured him. "So no, please stay. I don't want to talk about my soon to be ex husband anyway."

Ianto ignored her exchange with Jack, "Does Mam know?" he asked. He realized his glass was empty too.

"Who do you think I'm staying with? It's not like Cade or Gavin have any room at the inn."

"What about Dafydd?"

She rolled her eyes, "His place is smaller than yours. Besides, have you met his girlfriend? I wouldn't spend a night under that cow's roof and I certainly wouldn't subject my daughter to her." she shuddered. "I could murder for another glass of wine, though." She looked around for their waitress.

"Allow me," Jack got to his feet, mostly to give the two of them a few minutes of privacy.

"Jack…"

"I'll be right back," he assured Ianto. "You want another one?"

Ianto shook his head, "I still have to go back to work, remember?"

"Why don't you take the rest of the afternoon off? It sounds like the two of you have some catching up to do."

"I don't want you getting into trouble at work on my account," Nerys shook her head at her brother.

Jack smirked, "He's got a pretty understanding boss."

"Bloody slave driver is more like it," Ianto muttered back, teasing.

"I'll remember you said that the next time I'm doing yearly reviews."

"Who exactly did the reviews last year?" Ianto pointed out.

"Oh. Right. Well. I'll think of something."

Ianto laughed despite himself. Maybe this wasn't completely horrible after all. Jack and Nerys seemed to be getting on ok and he'd never actually liked his sister's husband, anyway. She'd been miserable for some time and she was right to not waste her life in a situation like that. Besides, a divorce wasn't the end of the world…

Nerys waited until Jack had rounded the corner before leaning across the table. "He's your boss?"

Ianto just smiled at her.

"You're shagging your boss…!"

"It's more than just shagging, Ner."

"But he _is_ your boss."

"Yes. He is my boss."

"So you're shagging your boss."

Ianto rolled his eyes at her. "Yes, I'm shagging my boss."

"So," she leaned closer, "What's the story?"

"There is no story."

"You've been dating for a year, there_ has_ to be a story."

"There honestly isn't. We just… happened."

"Mr. Jones…?"

Ianto looked up to see who had spoken; his heart sank when he recognized CID Kathy Swanson. He kept his expression carefully neutral, though, as he stood to greet her properly. "Detective Swanson, how lovely to see you again."

"Not here investigating the kitchen, I hope," she teased.

Ianto chuckled, despite himself. "No, Ma'am. Just having lunch. This is my sister, Nerys."

"God, you're as polite as the other one is… Captain Harkness," she smiled as Jack rounded the corner. "Still over dressing, I see."

"I'd be happy strip right here if it'd make you happy," he flashed a lascivious grin, raising his eyebrows suggestively at her.

"I think I'll pass, thank you."

"You sure? I don't mind..."

"I'll let you get back to lunch, I just wanted to come over and say hello," she assured them. "I hope you won't take it the wrong way if I say I hope I _don't_ see you any time soon, Captain," she added in Jack's direction.

"I'm crushed."

"I highly doubt that." She nodded to both Ianto and his sister before making her way towards the exit.

"How did you get so chummy with a police detective?" Nerys asled, after they'd settled back in.

"She…erm… comes into the tourist shop sometimes," Ianto floundered, cursing himself for coming up with something so stupid sounding.

Nerys's expression was one of genuine disbelief.

"Everybody loves Ianto's coffee," Jack was quick to come to the rescue. It earned him a look of pure gratitude from the younger man.

"Well what did she mean by investigating the kitchen, then?"

"It_ is_ a tourist office," Ianto told her.

Although she didn't seem convinced, Nerys didn't press the issue further. Instead she turned to Jack, "So… are you coming with Ianto to our cousin Cheryl's wedding?"

"I don't know. Am I?"


	16. Pterodactyls, but not

**Chapter Sixteen: Pterodactyls :  
****but not the kind you might be thinking! **

(this entire story is un-beta'd so all mistakes are mine, all mine… ;-) Thank you for continuing to read and review anyway!! I really, truly appreciate it!

**Setting:**

_Sequential w/ last chapter; more family fluff…_

* * *

"Are you sure?" Ianto asked when Jack suggested again that he take the rest of the afternoon off to go spend time with his sister. The discussion about Cheryl's wedding had been tabled for the time being because he wasn't sure that _he_ was going, so whether or not he would be brining Jack was moot for the moment, at least in his opinion. Nerys had her own ideas. She usually did.

"I think we can handle anything that comes up," Jack assured him with a wink, "It's just a tourist office after all. Go have some fun."

Ianto gave him a dark look but managed not to groan. _About as much fun as a barrel full of pterodactyls,_ he thought. "I'll have my mobile on, just in case."

"Nerys," Jack said as he stood. "It was a pleasure," he extended his hand.

"Likewise," she accepted. "I hope to see you again sometime."

"Me too." Jack picked up the bill, "Lunch is on me."

"It had better be, you're his boss, that means you make more money than he does," Nerys teased him.

Jack smiled, nodding in agreement. He gazed fondly down at Ianto a moment; it looked like he was having the same moment of indecision Jack was. He knew what he _wanted_ to do, he just wasn't sure it would be well received. But it _seemed_ like Ianto might be leaning up just a little… maybe. Maybe not.

Finally, Jack took the gamble and leant in. Ianto met the kiss half way, cupping his face and drawing him closer, letting out this quiet little sound that told Jack he'd made the right decision.

It was only a brief exchange, perfectly acceptable public behavior, but Jack held the younger man's face cupped tenderly in his hands for a moment after their lips parted, just looking at him and not caring who was watching. "I love you," he whispered so softly he wasn't doing much more than mouthing the words.

The smile Ianto told him he didn't mind. "I love you too, Cariad," his voice was no louder than Jack's had been.

Jack gave an inquisitive look.

"You've got a dictionary," Ianto teased, releasing him.

"You expect me to be able to spell that?"

"You could always ask Gwen. I think she speaks a bit of Welsh."

"I'd sooner take it up with Janet," he informed the younger man, earning him a wry laugh.

"Well, I suppose you're stuck with the dictionary, then."

"I would have to fall for someone whose alphabet is nothing consonants," Jack groaned.

"That's funny, you're always saying how much you like those Welsh vowels."

"All two of them.

He chuckled and Jack leant in again, giving him one last small kiss before heading out.

Ianto caught himself staring after Jack, feeling completely overwhelmed by the effect his Captain had on him. He felt light and warm and safe all at the same time.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this happy," Nerys's soft comment brought him out of his daze.

"I don't think I've ever been this happy."

"I'm glad, Yan. I like him. I think if you gave her the chance, Mam would, too. Erm… if you could get him to tone it down a little."

Ianto chuckled, "That _was_ toned down. But it doesn't matter. Mam doesn't want to meet my boyfriend. She wants me to meet a nice girl and settle down the way I'm 'supposed' to."

"She's noticed how you're hardly around, you know." Nerys finished the last of her wine and stood up, slinging her purse over one shoulder. "It's because of him, isn't it? Because you won't tell her?"

"It's mostly work," Ianto got to his feet as well.

"You work at a tourist office, Ianto. It's not like you're doing anything important."

He swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth, trying not to let her comment get to him. He was the one who had told his family where he worked. At the time it had sounded good. _And it isn't as if I can tell them hunt down aliens for a living…_ He forced a smile, "I suppose you're right."

"Oiy, don't sulk. It's an honest living, it's just nothing important is all. It's not like what I was doing before I moved back here was so important to anything either. Trained monkeys could do my job."

He chuckled at her and led the way towards the door out of the restaurant.

"Anyway," Nerys said, matching his stride, "What I was wanting to say is that Mam isn't getting any younger and her heath hasn't been so good these last couple of years..."

He cut her off, "She's been saying that for years, Ner."

"She's worried she's losing you completely, Ianto. She knows she hurt you seven years ago, but isn't that long enough to punish her? She didn't kick you out, you know. You could have come back any time you'd wanted."

"I'm not punishing anybody," he insisted. "I've honestly been busy. Besides, I don't need to be reminded at every turn of what a failure everybody thinks I am," he said that last more harshly than he'd intended. He knew it was his own fault his mother thought he was wasting his life away on a dead end job.

"No one thinks you're a failure!"

Ianto shot her a look without answering; they both that wasn't true.

He opened the door for his sister and they emerged out into the bright afternoon sun, both reaching for their sunglasses. Ianto took a breath to calm himself. Snapping at his sister wasn't going to solve anything.

He took a moment to admire the nearly cloudless blue dome of the sky above them. It was truly beautiful, even knowing what was really up there. But Jack was right, it wasn't all bad.

"It is a lovely day, isn't it?" Nerys said, probably assuming that all he was looking at was the weather.

Ianto nodded, "It is." He offered her his arm, "What would you like to do on this extraordinarily lovely day, then?"

Nerys giggled at him, "I'm not sure I'm up to driving," she admitted. "We could walk around a bit, if you don't mind."

……………………………………………

"I'm just saying I should call to say I'm going to be later than expected." Ianto protested when his sister gave him a hard time over wanting to call Jack to say he wasn't coming straight back. "And mind the road!" he snapped. They'd had several hours' worth of walking around and shopping, so he knew it wasn't the wine she'd had with lunch, Nerys was just a bad driver. It made him miss Owen's hairpin turns.

"Is he your boyfriend or your keeper?" she wanted to know.

"He's my boss."

"You're shagging."

"It's not just shagging. This is your turn."

"I_ know_ that," she gave him a sharp look.

"Just mind the road all right?" he fished his mobile phone out of his pocket and dialed the Hub.

Gwen answered in two rings, which meant she was probably at her desk.

"Still out and about then?" she asked after they'd gotten through their hellos.

"Yup. I just wanted to call and check in. Is there anything going on?" he realized he probably sounded a little too hopeful. This really would be a nice time for an emergency.

"Jack and Bobby went out to check on a minor rift spike about an hour ago, other that it's been pretty quiet."

"Do you need me to come in?"

Nerys shot him a dark look from behind the wheel.

"I said _minor_, Ianto," Gwen assured him. "Enjoy your day off."

He sighed, feeling a little guilty for wishing it hadn't been quite so minor. He didn't want an alien invasion or anything, but one or two Daleks wasn't too much to ask, was it? Maybe another Sontaran warship? A Slitheen at city hall might be nice… The sky remained perfectly clear, not an alien in sight. "Would you ask Jack to call me when he gets back?"

Gwen giggled at his tone, "I promise. What's keeping you late, anyway?"

"Going to see my Mam."

"Oh, Ianto," her tone was suddenly full of sympathy. "If it gets too bad, call and I'll make up an emergency, ok?"

Ianto smiled, "Thanks, Gwen. I owe you."

"Just promise not to get angry at me the next time I mess up the settings on your computer and we'll call it even."

"You haven't…"

"No, I swear, I haven't been anywhere near it, honest."

He breathed a sigh of relief and hung up.

"There, are you convinced that the world won't come to an end just because you take a day off from work?" Nerys teased.

Ianto just smiled, turning his head to look out the window. It always felt strange coming back into his old neighbourhood. He watched the children playing, riding their bikes along the sidewalk, drawing with chalks… there were a pair of teenagers on a porch holding hands, laughing. An elderly lady sat on another porch, watching the world go by.

He couldn't remember ever being as young as the children playing on the sidewalk or as carefree as the teenagers, and he knew he'd never get the chance to get as old as the lady. _So where does that leave me, I wonder…_

Nerys reached over and took his hand, "Now don't start fretting," she said, clearly believing his only anxiety was over talking to their mother about Jack. That was a part of it, but only a small part. He could never explain the things that made him feel like a stranger here. This might be what he was fighting for, but it wasn't his world any more. He wondered if this was what Jack felt like being so far away from everything he'd known and loved when he was younger.

"Yan? You ok, Sweetheart?" Nerys sounded worried.

He forced a smile, "Yeah. Yeah, fine," Ianto cleared his throat a little. "I guess it's always a bit weird coming back here is all."

The ringing of his mobile startled him. He almost laughed. It was Jack.

"Gwen tells me you're running late?" came the familiar jovial voice on the other end when Ianto answered.

"Yeah."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," he lied. "I can't talk – we just pulled up in front of my mother's house."

"I promise to return him in one piece, Jack, honest!" Nerys yelled loudly enough to be heard on the other end.

Jack laughed in Ianto's ear, "Tell your sister I said she'd better."

Ianto managed a laugh in return. "I'll probably be a few more hours."

"Take as much time as you need. Everything's under control here."

"Thanks. If you need me…"

"I'll call," Jack promised.

"Satisfied now?" Nerys said as he hung up.

Ianto's return comment stopped in his throat when a little girl came pelting across the street towards them. He was out of the car and scooping her up into his arms, scolding her about running across like that, before Nerys could react.

"But Uncle Yan…!" Remi protested.

"Don't Uncle Yan me. You could have been run over!"

"Ianto!" Nerys snapped at him. "There's no bloody traffic!" she gestured widely in both directions to emphasize her point.

He realized he was shaking. There were so many things that could happen… Sontarans, Cybermen, Weevils… it seemed almost stupid to him that people still got hit by cars or electrocuted in the bath, but he knew it could happen, especially to a kid who wasn't watching were she was running. "Sorry. I just… I didn't want her getting hurt."

"You scared me yelling," Remi sulked.

"Well you scared me running out into the street like that," he returned, although he managed a smile and a proper hug hello while he was at it. He set her down and took her hand, led her towards the car. He made sure she was out of the road. "You've grown since I saw you last."

"You didn't come to Christmas," she accused.

"Well hopefully this," he reached into the back seat of his sister's car and grabbed one of the bags from his pile, "Will help. Although I did send your gifts to the house, as I recall," he added with a wink.

Remi giggled, sounding just like her mother, and threw her arms around his waste for another hug.

"Ianto?" called a familiar voice. Wiping her hands on her jeans, Alice Jones stepped out onto her front porch for a better look at what was going on outside. She was an attractive woman for her age, although her age clearly showed in the greying hair that framed her face and the lines around her mouth and eyes.

"Hi, Mam," Ianto waved, feeling as if Myfanwy and all her friends were circling in his stomach again. "I'll be up in a tick." He turned back to his niece.

Remi pulled the stuffed pterodactyl out of the bag and gave it a funny look. The she grinned, hugging it close to her chest. Its wing span was nearly as wide as her arms when she held them out. _Not quite as large as the real thing, though, _Ianto grinned to himself. No one would ever understand why he'd bought it, but he didn't care.

"Do you like it?" he asked.

"I love it!" Remi declared, holding the wings wide. It was soft and fuzzy and, also unlike the real thing, it was smiling.

"Come on," Nerys scooped her daughter up into her arms to carry her back across the street. "Wouldn't want to give Uncle Yan another heart attack."

"It's not funny, Nerys," Ianto glared at his sister. "We're only a few blocks off a main road…"

She ignored him.

His mother met him at the curb, "Will you be staying for supper, then?" she asked her son in a cool tone.

"I'm… not sure about supper…but I can stay for a bit, anyway."

"I'll put the kettle on," Nerys called from the porch.

Alice turned to give her daughter a questioning look, but Nerys was practiced at making quick escapes and already in the house despite the protests of her daughter who wanted to visit with her Uncle Yan.

"Is something the matter?" Alice asked in Ianto's direction in a tone that told him she expected there to be something wrong.

He found himself unable to look his own mother in the eye. _I can chase down Weevils, even an angry Nostrovite, but I can't look my own mother in the face… _and there wasn't a single alien space ship in sight. He sighed and brought his gaze up to meet hers. "Nothing's the matter, Mam. There's just something I'd like to talk to you about."


	17. Topics of Conversation

**Chapter Seventeen: Topics of Conversation **

* * *

(this entire story is un-beta'd so all mistakes are mine, all mine… ;-) Thank you for continuing to read and review anyway!!

* * *

Ianto watched his mother watching him; momentarily, she turned and started back towards the house. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and followed, feeing a bit like a condemned man off to the gallows. This wasn't a conversation he'd ever intended to have with his mother. His life was his business.

"Mind the step," Alice instructed when they reached the porch.

"What's wrong with the step?" He asked. As soon as he stepped down, he felt it give a little wobble.

"Your brother promised to come out and fix that when he gets a chance. I swear this whole house is falling apart."

Ianto just nodded; that would be Cade. He was the handy one. No one had expected either he or Gavin to follow their father into the clothing trade, neither had his eye for detail and with Cade's temper, he'd never have made it in any sort of service industry. It was a miracle he'd made it to manager at the construction company he worked for. Dafydd might have if their father hadn't died four years ago. Mam sold the business after that. Dafydd was only just in his second year at University.

"How's Deidre then?" Ianto asked of Cade's wife, who was pregnant with their sixth child.

"Oh, you know how it goes. Well. You _don't _know how it goes, do you?"

Without answering the question, Ianto reached in front of her and got the door.

"She's all right," Alice told him. "First three months are always the worst, so she should be fine now. Mind, you gave me heartburn the whole nine months," she smiled at him over her shoulder.

Ianto managed half a smile in return, wondering if Nerys was really right. Maybe it would be best if he just left well enough alone…

By the time they reached the kitchen, Nerys had the cups set up for tea. There were only two.

Alice gave her daughter another questioning look, but all she said was that she needed Nerys to go get the wash from the clothesline outside.

Nerys asked Remi to come with her, even allowing her to bring her new toy, although she shot her brother a look. She hadn't approved of the thing when he'd bought it.

"But I want to stay and visit!" Remi protested. "I never get to see Uncle Yan."

"Go on," Ianto said, kneeling down to her level. "I promise, we'll have all kinds of time to visit later." She was truly the most beautiful child he'd ever seen, with her mother's eyes and her father's dark skin and long black curly hair. He wondered briefly how JP was going to take Nerys moving back to Wales. He really never had liked the man. "And if you do as your Mam says, I'll tell you a few secrets about pterodactyls with you before I leave," he added with a wink.

"What kind of secrets?" Remi asked eagerly.

"Well… did you know that pterodactyls _love_ chocolate? Preferably dark, of course."

Remi giggled.

"Oh honestly, Ianto!" Nerys rolled her eyes at him. "I swear, the first time I'm called in to the headmaster's office because she's spouting off something like that in front of a teacher, I'm going to ring _you_ up to come down and explain where she got the idea from."

"All right," he grinned, standing back up.

"You really shouldn't fill the child's head with such nonsense," Alice chided him as Nerys and Remi made their way outside to get the laundry.

Ianto just shrugged his shoulders and leaned himself up against the kitchen counter near the stove so he could get the kettle when it boiled.

His mother gave him a long, appraising look. Sometimes he wondered what she really saw when she looked at him. Could she could see that he wasn't the same person he'd been when he moved away to London five years ago? He even wasn't the same person who had moved back, two years ago.

Before joining Torchwood, he'd never fired a gun. Before he'd met Jack, he'd never had to. Before he'd met Jack, he'd never had cannibals try to eat him for breakfast, either… his mother's voice brought him up out of his thoughts.

"You're welcome to stay for supper," she invited, as she took a look she simmering in a pot on the stove. "You look as if you could use a good meal. Of course if you actually had yourself a girlfriend, someone to take care of you properly…"

"Could we not do this right now, Mam?" Ianto asked her.

"Do what?"

"What we always do."

She gave him another look. "I got a lovely birthday card from Mrs. Hallett."

Ianto just barely stifled a groan. She wasn't trying to say he'd forgotten his birthday – he hadn't. She'd received a lovely bouquet and a card with a gift certificate for a new spa that had opened up downtown (as Ianto was rather shy of sending his mother to a spa out in the country.)

"I hope you'll remember that her birthday is next week," Alice went on; she putting the lid back on the pot, apparently satisfied that the chicken was coming along the way she wanted it to.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "I really think I'm the last person Lisa's parents want to hear from, Mam."

"I don't see why. You two were together for over a year. You were going to get married."

He took a breath and let it out. There was absolutely no arguing the point and he knew it. "Why don't you sit down and I'll get the tea?" he offered.

"I've the feeling I'm not going to like whatever it is you want to talk about," she took a seat at the table anyway.

He just nodded. He doubted that tea was going to make this any easier, but as soon as the water boiled, he fixed both cups with milk and sugar and then brought hers over to her. After putting the milk back in the fridge, he took a seat in the chair across the table from her.

Ianto watched his mother fuss with hers a bit, stirring and dunking her teabag. It was a nervous habit he was familiar with; he was doing the same thing.

"Well out with it, then," Alice finally said. "Neither of us is getting any younger, you know," she added with a wry grin.

Ianto chuckled just a little, which was pretty sure had been her intent. "I haven't been completely honest with you about something. Nerys seems to think I should… talk to you about it."

"Does she?"

"She's probably right." He swallowed, forcing the words to come out. "I… I have been seeing someone."

She stopped fussing with her tea. "And I suppose he's the reason you've stopped coming around to see me?" Her tone was calm.

His eyes widened in surprise. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't make himself say anything.

The last time they'd had this discussion, right here at this table over tea, she hadn't been calm. He hadn't even been seeing someone, there was just someone he fancied, a boy. He had been confused and needed just one person to understand and tell him it was all right,_ he_ was all right. He'd needed his mother to say that no matter what she'd always love him.

"Well I had to figure it was a bloke, didn't I?" Alice asked him, her tone still calm. "If it was a girl, you would have brought her home straight away."

He smiled despite the pterodactyls in his gut. He should have known she'd figure it out. "He's fantastic, Mam," he told her even though he knew this was where she was going to tell him not to speak to her again until he'd gotten himself straightened out.

"How… how long have you been… 'seeing' this fantastic man?"

He took a moment to steady himself a little before answering; just because she hadn't reacted yet didn't mean she wasn't going to. "About a year."

"Is it serious?"

He forced himself to meet her gaze when he told her that they'd moved in together. Her expression was unreadable.

"I see." She looked down into her own cup, giving its contents a stir.

He reached out for her hand, hoping that seven years might have been enough time for her to start to understand… but she pulled back.

"Sorry," Ianto apologized, clamping down on the hurt. He tried to tell himself that it didn't matter, he had Jack. He had Jack and nothing else mattered… but it still hurt.

"I just need… to… sit with this a bit. I… need… just because I had my suspicions… I suppose I was still hoping you'd say I was wrong. Or that maybe it wasn't so serious you'd actually… well," she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, forcing a smile. "It's your life, isn't it? You've every right to do as you please."

"Mam…" those had been the words he'd screamed when he stormed out of the house seven years ago, after coming out. It was his life, he could live it anyway he wanted… _not under our roof…_ had been his father's reply. "Maybe I should go," Ianto started to get up.

Her hand on his arm startled him; she withdrew it quickly though. "You really do look as if you could use a good meal. You never could cook worth anything," her smile was as strained as the tone of her voice.

"Are you sure?" he asked without sitting back down.

"About your cooking being dreadful?" she managed to tease him. "I ah… I certainly hope this... this man you're living with is a better cook than you are." Despite the levity of her words, she looked as if she was on the verge of tears.

"His chili's a bit frightening."

She chuckled softly.

"I really don't have to stay if you don't want…"

"Ianto, staying for dinner isn't going to make you any less… whatever it is that you are, or me any happier about it. So what's the harm?"

He sat back down next to her. "I'm bisexual, Mam," he said the word even though he knew she didn't want to hear it – _because_ he knew she didn't want to hear it.

Alice sat quietly looking at him for a moment before asking if he'd really loved Lisa.

"Yes. Of course I loved her. I wanted to marry her. I would have if... if things hadn't happened."

"And… this man…? Do you_ really_ love him? Are you really sure about this whole… bisexual… thing? Are you really sure _this_ is who you are?"

"Yes. I'm sure. This is who I am." He told her in a tone that he hoped would make her understand. "I wrestled with this a long time. I finally just accepted that _this_ is who I am. I'm in love with a man. His name is Jack. And he really is fantastic," he told her again.

"Have… have there been other men…?" she seemed almost afraid of the answer.

"Not like this."

She stirred her tea for a moment. "Do you have a picture?"

"No."

Alice frowned up at her son, "That's not like you."

"I guess… it never occurred to me to with him," he shrugged his shoulders. She was right, it wasn't like him not to carry around a photo.

"Is he handsome? Or… is that the wrong word?" she seemed to be at least trying. "I don't honestly know…"

Ianto smiled, "Yes, that's the right word. And yes, he is _very_ handsome. He's a little taller than me. Dark hair, gorgeous blue eyes," his smile turned wistful. Jack really was incredible looking… however, "Erm…there is one thing. He's American," he added, fishing the teabag out of his mug before it got any stronger.

"In Cardiff?"

"We do allow them, Mam."

She smiled a bit, too, despite her obvious discomfort with the situation, "If you had to fall in love with a man, couldn't you at least have found yourself a nice Welshman?" she teased.

Ianto laughed, "I guess it was just dumb luck that I'd meet an American."

"You just have to be the odd bird about everything, don't you?" She fished her own teabag out as well. She continued in a more serious tone: "This… Jack. He makes you happy… I mean…_ really_ happy? And he's good to you?"

"Yes."

"Do you… is he… I mean, I know you said you've moved in together, but…" she floundered. "When you say you're serious… how serious do you mean?"

"I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He's… he's not just my boyfriend, he's my _best_ friend."

"Does he feel the same way?"

Ianto took a sip of his tea before answering, although he carefully maintained eye contact so she wouldn't think he was trying to dodge the question. The truth was that Jack would never spend the rest of his life with anybody, but he couldn't explain that to his mother. Even if he could tell her, he doubted she'd understand how he could be with someone who was going to outlive him, move on… love again… "He loves me. He wants to share his life with me. He depends on me as much as I depend on him. He's… he's the one."

"How does his family feel about all this?"

He gave over a sad smile, "He doesn't have anybody."

She shot him an inquisitive look, waiting for him to explain.

"He… he hasn't been home in a long time. He doesn't like to talk about it much. His father died when he was young," he added. "But I know they never had a problem with… well with much of anything." _Hippies… _he didn't know whether that was a stroke of genius or one of the stupidest things he'd ever said.

"Was he close with them, do you know?"

Ianto just nodded, involuntarily thinking of the man they had frozen in the vault. He hated Grey. He pitied him. He wanted to kill him, himself, but he was glad that Jack hadn't...

He was surprised to find his mother's hand on his arm. "So all he really has is you, then?"

"I guess so."

Alice gave her son's arm a gentle squeeze before taking another sip of her tea and leaning back. She gazed thoughtfully into her cup a long while.

Ianto sat quietly waiting. He let his gaze wander around the cozy, neat little kitchen. The copper pots and pans hanging… the smell of chicken and rosemary. It was like time had stood still, gone backwards, and he was twelve, sitting here drinking tea with his Mam… there had been a time when they were so close…

He remembered being happy here. He remembered playing in the back garden with Nerys and Gavin, watching Davydd while Mam ran errands. Cade was almost six years his senior and not interested in hanging around with little kids, even when he was expected to be watching them, but that was normal, Ianto supposed. Despite the pain of his teenaged years, he was fairly certain that his childhood had been happy. They hadn't had a lot, but they'd never gone hungry, never not had the necessities and even a few little luxuries.

He glanced up at his mother to find her watching him, a thoughtful smile playing across her face. "Reminiscing?" She queried.

"Sometimes it's hard to believe it's been so long since I was her age," he nodded out to the back garden where Nerys was keeping Remi occupied, so she wouldn't come in to interrupt them.

"You're only twenty four… but… I swear just then you did look awfully grown up," she drained her cup. "I will always love you, Ianto. I know you might not believe that, but you were just a kid, what was I supposed to think when you told me you thought you fancied some boy?"

"All I wanted you to say was that you loved me."

"I… I'm sorry I didn't know how to do that. It wasn't that I didn't love you, that I don't love you, it was just too much for me to listen to."

"I suppose that's fair."

"I still don't understand you, Ianto," Alice admitted. "I… I might be able to understand if… if you were just one way or the other… and I guess maybe that's stupid of me considering I _wanted_ you to fall in love with a girl and I suppose being the way you are I had a fifty-fifty chance…" she looked away but not before he saw the tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I did try. I read some books… but I just… I _don't_ understand." she shook her head as if to clear it.

"I'm not asking you to understand it. Just accept it."

She was quiet for a very long moment before finally finding her voice again. "I… I will love you no matter who you love, just as long as you tell me that he's a good person, that he's good to you. As long as you're really happy."

"I am happier than I have ever been," he told her honestly. He knew how much his mother had loved Lisa, but the truth was that the last year he'd felt… complete, like something that he hadn't even known was missing had finally been found.

"Do I get to meet him, then?"

"Do you want to?" He wasn't honestly sure what he hoped her answer would be. No would be easier but yes would mean she really wanted to accept him.

"If this man is going to be a part of your life, for the rest of your life… " she looked past him for a moment, "Yes. I would like him."

"I'll… have to look at our schedules and things have a way of coming up last minute… but… " he ended with a shrug, silently inviting her to pick a day.

"Sunday?"

"I'll talk to Jack about it when I get home tonight."


	18. Home sweet

**Chapter Eighteen: Home sweet…**

Reminder that this is set along "my" timeline, so there may be character mentions you haven't heard of if you're not reading the other stuff. It doesn't matter to the plot here at all, I just didn't want unfamiliar names to throw people ;-) Also, this entire story is completely un-beta'd.

**Great big HUGE thank yous for those reviews!!**

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By the time Ianto got back to the Hub even Bobby had gone home for the night. He was surprised when he walked by his station and found a single red rose sitting next to his keyboard… in a glass. He chuckled at that part, although he was touched by the rose. He picked up the glass to smell the bloom…

"Wow," the sound of Jack's voice startled him. He'd come out of his office and was staring at the bags at his lover's feet. "Somebody enjoyed his day off," he teased.

"It's not as much as it looks," he set the glass back down on his desk, "although I see I should have picked up that vase I was looking at after all."

Jack shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. "It was either the glass or an empty beer bottle."

The Welshman rolled his eyes, "Romantic_ and_ classy. What more could a man want? What's the occasion, anyway?"

"Do I have to have an occasion?" he meandered towards the younger man slowly.

"You're not exactly a flowers and chocolates sort of person, Jack."

He just smiled; the other missed the look of genuine concern in his blue eyes. "Are you all right?" he asked, ignoring both Ianto's question and his observation.

"Never better." He closed the remainder of the gap between them and wrapped his arms around his Captain's waist, resting his head on his shoulder and taking in his scent.

Jack held him tight.

"God, I love coming home to you," he murmured.

"Do you really mean that?"

Ianto looked up at him, startled by the question. "Of course I do."

"I meant the home part," he cast his glance around the Hub.

"Well…" he pulled back even though he wasn't really ready to. "I have been thinking about that a little."

"You want some coffee… or tea?" Jack asked before he got any further into that thought.

"Do we have any wine left?"

"I think so."

Ianto followed him into the staff kitchen and leant against the counter while he rummaged around the refrigerator. The younger man was pleased to see that the dishes had been washed and put in the drainer to dry. _Probably Wendy,_ he mused. She was the only other person who consistently cleaned up after herself… or the rest of them.

Jack straightened up with a bottle in each hand. "Blush or… Riesling?" he offered, reading the label off the second bottle.

"Either one is good. Are you joining me?" He asked as he turned to get a wine glass down from the cupboard.

Jack nodded and uncorked the Riesling. As soon as Ianto set the wine glasses on the counter, he poured. The Welshman wasted no in picking his up.

"Bad day?" Jack asked him.

"Just a day," he said over the top of his glass. Riesling was his favourite and Jack knew it. "Do you want to bring the bottle and go sit down somewhere more comfortable?"

"Is it going to be one of those talks?"

"Relax, Jack. It's nothing bad. I've just had a few things on my mind is all."

"I hope you know that's almost as bad as starting a conversation with 'about last night'."

He just smiled and leant in; his lover met the kiss half way, parting his lips as soon as Ianto teased at them a little with the tip of his tongue… letting the younger man take control of the kiss.

Ianto set down his glass so he could wrap both arms around Jack's neck and pull him in close. "There," he said softly when their lips finally parted, "satisfied that it's nothing bad?" His lips curled upwards in a playful smile.

"I'm not sure, you might have to do that one more time if you really want to convince me," Jack teased in a quiet voice.

He laughed, but obliged him willingly. This time it was Jack's tongue playing at his lips, pulling his tongue into his mouth, kissing him long and hard as he pressed his body up against the younger man's, pressing him up against the counter almost as if he was planning on taking him then and there. Not that it would be the first time.

With deft hands, Jack pulled the shirt and t-shirt out of his waistband while he feathered his neck with gentle kisses… not so gentle nibbles... He slid his hands under his shirt and slid them up and down his back pulling the younger man in closer. Both of their bodies were reacting to the fervent kisses and roaming hands.

"Jack…" Ianto pushed him back gently. "This is important…" he insisted, probably a lot later than he should have. "We need to talk." He was surprised when the other gave in without argument. The look on his face didn't go unnoticed, however. It wasn't disappointment so much as genuine concern; whatever Ianto had to say, he still wasn't convinced it was something he wanted to hear.

The fact that he could be just as uncertain made the younger man smile. He brushed his hand against Jack's cheek. "But if you'd like to remember where you left off…" he said with a wicked little grin, pulling him forward for a soft kiss on the lips that he hoped would convince him that they were all right.

Jack returned the kiss. "I like the way you think."

Ianto chuckled. He picked up the bottle and led the way into the Hub, over to one of the couches. He kicked off his shoes and they settled into the soft cushions.

It only took a few moments to get comfortable; it really was as if Jack was some part of himself that he hadn't even known he was missing until he found it.

"How was your visit?" he asked.

Ianto leant into him and closed his eyes. He'd spent the entire taxi ride back to the Plass thinking about Sunday and realizing he wasn't honestly sure he_ wanted_ his mother and Jack to meet. There were more than the obvious considerations to think about, like what Mam would do the first time Jack decided to hit on a poodle, because he didn't honestly put it past him. _But what am I going to say if by some miracle I actually live another ten years? Another fifteen? _Eventually someone in his family was going to notice that he was getting older while Jack stayed the same.

"Ianto?" Jack prompted when he didn't answer right away.

"My mother would like to meet you."

The Captain set his wine glass on the table in front of the sofa, shifting a little so he could look at Ianto. He'd heard the uncertainty in that statement. "What do you want?"

"I want you to be a part of my life. I want to be a part of yours."

He took his hand, their fingers curling together. He studied their hands a moment, the way they fit together, the way everything about them fit together. "You are a part of my life." He said at last.

"I know. But you're right, life is more than… this," he nodded at the Hub around them. "My family is… they're the only real connection I have to the rest of the world. We don't always get along. In fact today was the best it's been in years, and that's probably because it was just Nerys, Mam and me. When my brothers come into it… " he just shook his head and drank more wine. "When I came home to get some of my things, after moving in with Wendy, my oldest brother, Cade, punched me so hard he broke my nose."

Jack felt his jaw clench. He knew Ianto could handle himself but he still had the irrational desire to protect him from the rest of the world. Just the same, he resisted the urge to tell him that that would never happen again. He knew it wouldn't. Cade or someone else would try and Ianto would slam them into a wall. He didn't need to be protected.

He brushed the back of his hand over his Welshman's cheek and couldn't help the rush of warmth that overtook him when Ianto leant into his touch, turned his head, kissed his fingers like that. He didn't know how to tell him that he'd never shared moments quite so tender with anyone except maybe Estelle. _Someone I knew I could never truly be with… _he'd had moments with Laura, of course, but she could be so very… Victorian when it came to intimacy. He smiled at the memory…at the thought of someone who tried so hard to be so prim getting involved with him... he smiled at the handsome young Welshman leaning against him. "I love you," he confided.

Ianto smiled. He would never get tired of hearing those words. "I love you too." He rearranged himself so he had his head on a pillow in the Jack's lap. He closed his eyes and rested there a long while, carefully sipping his wine and listening to the quite sounds of the Hub around them. The gentle whir of machinery, the hum of the computers that stayed on day and night monitoring Cardiff for rift activity and alien energy signatures. Rocks that could kill people…

He leant in and pressed his lips to the younger man's forehead.

Ianto smiled up at him. "I hope you realize how happy I am with you," he told his Captain quietly.

"I think I do. I'm happy too, you know." _Happier than I thought I'd ever be on this blue little planet…_

Myfanwy glided by overhead just then; Ianto thought again about houses in the suburbs, manicured lawns, the life he realized he'd given up long before Jack had invited him to live here.

"Mam's invited us over for dinner on Sunday," he said at last. "Assuming the world isn't threatened by aliens or something."

"I hope those are your words and not hers," Jack replied with a rueful smile.

He chuckled. "Yes. She thinks I work in a tourist office, remember?"

"Why did you tell them that, anyway?" He refilled the younger man's nearly empty wine glass.

"I guess it seemed convenient at the time."

Jack just nodded. He supposed it had. "What about your cousin's wedding?" he asked, still not sure why it was even important to him.

"Assuming I don't get lucky enough to have the Sontarans drop back by for anther visit," Ianto teased, "I've already phoned Cheryl to let her know I'll be bringing my boyfriend. That is if you're really interested in going."

"Assuming you don't get lucky enough to have the Sontarans drop back by for another visit," he teased right back. Then, "So… there was something else you wanted to talk about?" because so far nothing Ianto had brought up was anything to do with them, per se.

"Nothing big, really. Just… random things going through my head."

"Such as?"

"I think today was the first time it really hit me that my life is never, ever, going to be what I thought it was going to be. The last couple of years I… I was honestly just living moment by moment."

"Torchwood will do that to you," he took a sip of his own wine.

"It's not just this place, Jack. You know what was going on in my life when we first met."

He nodded to indicate that yes, he knew what he was talking about, but otherwise he didn't interrupt.

"I'd spent most of my childhood… my teenaged years… just… getting by. Just taking everything a day at a time because I honestly never knew for sure where I'd be sleeping from one night to the next. I mean, I knew I always had Wendy, but if not for her…" he trailed off, taking a swallow of his wine. If it hadn't been for her, he really might have ended up on the streets and Jack knew it.

"When I moved to London… got a decent job… it was really the first time I was _able_ to think about the future. My future. I had no idea what the future for the rest of the world really was, of course," he added. "Junior researchers aren't really privy to much." He drained his glass, but when Jack offered to refill it again, he shook his head.

"I wanted kids, Jack. A family. A nice house. Nothing fancy, just a little yard, a few rose bushes. Mam's always had roses," he explained. "When I was a kid we always had fresh roses on the table, all summer long. That's _all _I wanted."

Jack gazed into the depths of his barely touched wine for a long while before saying the only thing he could say, because they both knew that no one who worked for Torchwood would ever have those things. Maybe at Torchwood London, as junior researcher, Ianto would have had a normal life, but here it was impossible. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

He gazed down at the younger man, trying to read his expression, but finding himself unable to. There was what he wanted to see and what he was afraid he might be seeing and it was too hard to tell the difference between the two. Finally, Jack found his voice again: "Ianto… I can't give you any of that…"

"I know."

"More than anything, I want you to be happy. If that means you have to…"

Ianto brushed his fingers over Jack's lips. "Don't you dare finish that thought, Captain Jack Harkness. I am exactly where I want to be. Where I need to be. And I_ am_ happy here."

"Ianto, my name…"

"Doesn't matter," he cut him off again. Then, in a lighter tone, "I bought a new shower curtain today."

Jack blinked, startled by the sudden change of topic. "All right." He took another sip of his wine.

"I got a couple of other things for the bathroom, too. Towels. A bath mat. And I'm sorry to say that I'm putting my foot down, soap on a rope went out thirty years ago. Yours has got to go, too."

"At least I can always find it," he managed to laugh despite the nervous flutter that was still going through him. Ianto certainly wasn't sounding like a man who had suddenly realized he didn't want to spend the rest of his life living in a bunker filled with aliens and alien artifacts.

The younger man sighed, giving him a look. "While I appreciate having a proper clothes hamper, we really do need to talk about a few things here, Jack. I need our personal space to feel like it's really ours and not just an extension of your office or the rest of the Hub."

Jack drained the last of his wine, relief filling him as he figured it out at last. They'd been living together for six weeks, but other than a few minor changes,_ their_ private quarters still looked like **his **private quarters. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me," he told his lover honestly.

"I'm not asking you to make major changes," he promised. "But I want to get a bed, preferably something actually intended to sleep two grown adults."

The Captain frowned without meaning to. He liked being forced to sleep close… but maybe Ianto had a point. He nodded to indicate as much.

"I'm not sure how I'd get it down there… I'm not sure how you got half that stuff down there…" he gave him a questioning look.

Jack just grinned in return. "There's a way."

"I should've known you'd say something like that," he muttered in return.

Then Jack's grin turned frighteningly mischievous, "So… does this mean we get to go bed shopping tomorrow?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "I suppose asking you to behave is out of the question, isn't it?"

"Yup." He leant in and placed a soft kiss on the younger man's neck, "Is this a good place to start… or should I start here?" he queried, sliding his tongue over his earlobe.

"There's good…" he felt Jack's smile against his skin and realized he wasn't going to be getting to sleep any time soon…

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**Next Chapter: Meet the Joneses**


	19. Domestic Tranquility

**Chapter Nineteen: Domestic Tranquility**

**A/N:**

_I started writing Jack and Ianto getting ready and it blossomed into a full chapter… total fluff… well, a little smut, but you have to use your imagination because it isn't spelled out… ;-) _

_Ianto muses over back over the bed shopping incident especially for __**Atsu Tensi**__… thanks for the lovely review :-) !_

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A litany of curses in both English and Welsh drew Jack into the bathroom. Ianto was standing in front of the mirror wearing only his boxers, dabbing his face with tissue and still muttering under his breath.

"You ok?" Jack inquired.

"Do I _**look**_ all right?" the Welshman snapped venomously.

Jack ventured a careful step closer, only touching Ianto when it became clear that he wasn't going to foreit a limb by doin so. "Come here," he turned the younger man around by the shoulders so he was facing him. "Let's have a look."

Ianto heaved a loud sigh, but let Jack have a look at the cut he'd given himself while shaving. "You're not dressed, yet," he said in a dry tone. Jack had on his trousers and a t-shirt but his braces were still dangling down past his hips. "Or at least I _hope_ you're not planning on wearing just a t-shirt today."

Jack ignored the comment. They both knew he never went out in just a t-shirt. Ianto had been anxious all day and the fact that they were running late because early morning Weevil incident had taken far longer than it should have wasn't helping matters any. Or at the very least, it wasn't helping Ianto's temperament any. "The skin's barely nicked," Jack told him in a patient tone as he dabbed away the blood. He fished around the medicine cabinet for some antiseptic. "This is probably going to sting."

Ianto rolled his eyes, "I got bit by a bloody Weevil this morning, Jack," he nodded at his bandaged arm. "I _think_ I can handle a little sting." He glanced at his watch. "We're going to be late. I'm _never_ late."

"We can call on the way and say we ran into… something," the Welshman's expression told him that he'd better leave making up excuses to Ianto. He dabbed the wound with antiseptic; Ianto winced and sucked in a little breath but otherwise didn't complain. "We've got an hour and it doesn't take that long to get there…"

"How do you know?"

Jack gave him a look, "I mapped it so I'd know where we were going," his tone remained patient. He put the antiseptic back up.

"Right. Sorry. I guess I'm just nervous."

Jack nodded and turned to leave so Ianto could finish getting dressed. A soft touch on his arm caused him to turn back towards the younger man.

"I am sorry, Jack," he said in a quieter tone.

"I know."

"Forgive me?"

Jack smiled and leant in; Ianto met the kiss half way. "What do you think?" he asked several moments later.

"I think that I'm a nervous wreck. I just know today is going to be a disaster. Look at the way it started."

They'd been woken up at five o'clock in the morning to deal with a pack of Weevils prowling around the University campus; thankfully no one had been seriously injured, a few students had just gotten a good fright.

"I wish I'd never listened to Nerys," Ianto admitted dolefully. "They don't need to know about you… about me. It's none of their business anyway. This is my life..."

Jack laid his hand on his shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze, silencing him. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"Thank you. But we should. I should. Mam wants to meet you. I'm just afraid of how it's going to turn out."

Jack eased himself closer, drawing Ianto into his arms. He found his lips… his neck…

"Jack…."

He pulled back just a little. "I have something for you," he said as he lifted the younger man up by the waist and set him on the edge of the bathroom counter.

Ianto laughed, "That has got to be the worst line you've ever come up with."

Jack grinned, "It's not a line. I was saving it for your birthday but maybe today's a better day," he fished the box out of his pocket and handed it over. Ianto just stared at it. "Besides," Jack went on, "You've given me an idea for an even _better _birthday present," he wore a mischievous smirk.

"Oh dear." Ianto looked from the box to Jack and back again. He was as afraid of what might be inside the box as he was of whatever it was Jack was planning now. His heart pounded in his ears and his mind raced, but he couldn't think of one thing he'd said that would give Jack ideas about his birthday or much of anything else. The past couple of days had been spent looking at catalogues and trying to compromise when it came to turning this place into something that more closely resembled a proper home. For the most part, Jack was indulgent, but there were a few points where the debate had come close to being heated. Of course the make up sex had been fantastic…

Jack's voice jarred Ianto out of his thoughts, "Are you going to open it?" he asked.

Ianto gazed down at the box in his hands. It was small. It appeared to be made of gold metallic cardboard. He had no idea why he was hesitating; it was probably just some stupid trinket. Jack had the _worst_ taste in stupid trinkets. The last time they'd gone out for Thai food at the place downtown Jack liked so much, he'd brought home four of those hideous Buddha shaped drink glasses, the sort where you put the straw right through Buddha's belly.

Finally Jack reached out and lifted the lid for him.

It wasn't some stupid trinket.

Ianto lifted out the silver pendant and held it gently in his hands, hardly able to believe Jack had picked something so perfect. It was about the size of a one pound coin and hung on a heavy chain. The design on the front was an infinity symbol with a small faceted peridot inlaid below it. Peridot was the birthstone for August. He was so absorbed in the necklace that he completely missed the nervous look in the Captain's eyes.

"I noticed you sometimes wear jewelry when… you know… after hours…" Jack floundered a little. He liked to think he was good at buying presents for people, like the plastic banana shaped earrings he'd gotten the Doctor (who didn't even have pierced ears) at that Intergalactic Flea Market they'd stopped at once… but this was different. This was important.

Ianto gave him one of those sweet little smiles, the ones that Jack loved the most. "It's lovely, Cariad."

Jack's heart surged when Ianto called him that. Sweetheart. No other man had ever called him that before. Not many of the women he'd been with had called him by anything but the name he was using at the time, either. "Turn it over."

Ianto flipped the pendant over in his fingers. There were two lines of Welsh words etched deeply into the metal. Reading them made his heart skip several beats… however, Ianto forced a quizzical smile, "Don't forget to empty the bins…?" he looked at Jack, his face a carefully schooled expression. The older man's face fell… he couldn't stop himself from laughing. "I'm kidding, Jack! But that'll teach you for not learning Welsh."

The grimace turned into a laugh quickly enough, but that didn't stop him from giving Ianto a gentle push back towards the wall.

"You really should have seen your face," Ianto continued to tease him as he recovered his balance, still laughing. He leant forward, but Jack pulled away from him.

"Oh no, I am not kissing you after that," he said, although the smile continued to play at his lips.

"It really is your own fault for not learning the language of the country you're living in."

"I speak," he started counting on his fingers, "_Six_ languages… and that's just on _this_ planet," Jack told him in an indignant tone.

Ianto just shook his head, still grinning. Then he looked back down at the pendant in his hands, running his fingers over the words. His heart beat just a little louder in his ears as he read the message again.

_I will always love you. I will never forget you._

"It's titanium," Jack told him in a quiet tone. "Chain, too." He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Ianto's waist. "I don't want you to ever doubt how important you are to me, Ianto. How important the time we have together is." He was quite for a long moment, as if mulling something over before saying it. When he did speak, his tone was soft, almost distant. "The Doctor asked me something a while back."

Ianto looked up at him, into those blue eyes. He nodded to show that he was listening.

"We were at the edge of… of time itself… I was in a room full of stat radiation… deadly stuff," he clarified. "A few minutes and it melts flesh to goo and that's with protection. It won't be discovered for at least the next three thousand years, probably more. I'd never heard of it before."

Ianto smiled; it was rare for there to be something Jack could admit to not knowing about.

"Anyway… there we were, me in a room full of deadly radiation and him on the other side of the door and he asked me if I wanted to die."

"Did you?"

"Not then. There had been times when I'd wished I could. I think I put myself into situations where I could be killed just to see if I_ could_ be killed. But by the time I finally found him..." he shrugged. "There in that place, with the very last vestiges of humanity struggling to survive a dying universe…" his voice trailed off for a moment. "The human race is amazing in its capacity for survival. Seeing that all I wanted to do was to live because… just because." He brushed his hand along the younger man's cheek. "But here… in this place… there is nothing I wouldn't give to grow old with you and I am so sorry I can't."

Ianto pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Jack's neck. "I love you too."

Jack held him a moment more before cupping the back of his neck with one hand. He leant up, whispering something softly into his Welshman's ear.

Ianto pulled away just enough so he could look Jack in the face. He studied him a long moment before repeating the name in a voice that was little more than a whisper. "But you'll always be Jack to me," he told him. "My Captain."

"I just wanted you to know what it was. You shouldn't live the rest of your life with somebody and not know his real name."

Ianto pressing his mouth hard to Jack's; it suddenly didn't matter to him about being late to his mother's house.

"Ja-ack…!" Gwen's voice echoed down from the hole in the office floor. "Ianto! You're going to be late if you don't hurry up down there! It's half three!"

They found themselves giggling, "Timing," they said at the same time.

"Yes, Mom!" Jack hollered back.

"Don't you give me lip, Jack Harkness," came Gwen's loud reply.

Jack released Ianto moved out into the other room, closer to the hole in his ceiling, "What're you going to do if I do? Spank me?" he asked in a lascivious tone. Looking up at her, he could see the blood creeping into Gwen's cheeks and he grinned harder.

"Cheeky bastard," Gwen swore back at him; despite the venom in her tone, she was grinning, though. "You're not even dressed yet," she added, stating the obvious.

"Ianto's wearing less," he smirked. "Would you like to join us?"

She sighed, "I hope you're getting this out of your system now, Jack, because you had better behave yourself at Ianto's Mam's house."

"Jack, could you come here a minute…" Ianto called out.

He gave a parting grin up at Gwen and went to see what Ianto needed. In the few short minutes Jack had been gone, Ianto had gotten dressed. He was wearing Jack's second favourite shirt, the dark pink one. He was wearing it open, without a tie, the sleeves rolled up, and with a new pair of black jeans. Jack smiled appreciatively at the way they hugged his body in all the right places…

"I thought you might need a rescue," Ianto told him softly.

He slid up behind the younger man placing a kiss on the back of his neck, "Thanks."

"Would you do the honours?" Ianto asked then, holding pendant up to Jack.

"It would be my pleasure," he fastened the security clasp – Jack had had their job in mind when he picked out the chain – and drew Ianto close against him again, his arms wrapped around the younger man's waist. Looking at their image in the mirror he couldn't help but smile. "We make one good looking couple," he grinned.

"Yes. But only one of us is dressed."

"You're right. You should definitely get out of those clothes."

"Jack," Ianto warned, stretching out his name into two syllables the same way Gwen usually did.

Still smiling, Jack released his hold on the younger man. "I'll be ready by the time you have the bed made."

"I thought it was your turn…?"

Jack smirked over his shoulder as he reached into the closet for a shirt, "You could always leave it for later."

Ianto sighed. The only reason the bed was still unmade at three o'clock in the afternoon was because they'd been woken up with that bloody Weevil emergency. When they finally got back to the Hub, Jack had waited while Bobby stitched and bandaged his arm, as Ianto had not let Jack do it in the field. Sometimes Jack's 'battlefield first aid' did more harm than good and despite needing five stitches, the wound wasn't so bad it couldn't wait to be seen by a proper doctor. Of course in the process of showering to get ready to go to Ianto's mother's house , one thing had led to another which was the real reason they were running late… "Fine," Ianto said of the bed. "But you do the next two days."

"My old bed was easier to make, you know."

"Your old bed wasn't big enough for two people," Ianto stretched over the queen sized mattress, stripping the sheets off with his uninjured arm.

Last night had been the first night that they'd slept on it so naturally Jack had insisted on breaking it in properly. Ianto smiled at the memory. It had been a_** good**_ night (although it would have been better if he hadn't been woken early to go deal with Weevils.)

It had also been a good afternoon when they got distracted trying to get ready, which made it time for new sheets. Ianto was glad he'd bought plenty. "Could you at least hand me a new set of sheets from the cupboard?" He asked Jack.

"I live to serve," he teased.

Ianto scoffed, "Not bloody likely." But Jack did reach up into the storage area and pull down one of new sheets… "Matching pillow cases too, please." Ianto added.

Jack shot him a look. "What's wrong with the pillow cases?"

He rolled his eyes, "I can't have blue sheets and yellow pillow cases, Jack."

"You are way too anal retentive for your own good," Jack teased him, obligingly handing over the requested matching pillow cases. "You're the one saying how late we're running, you know."

"This would go faster if you helped."

"No it wouldn't," Jack assured him.

Ianto sighed. Jack might be right. Besides, he still wasn't dressed.

As he made up the bed, Ianto wondered if the salesman at the furniture store had recovered from their visit yet. It wasn't just that Jack had to lay down on every mattress in the store, trying each one out for support as well as bounce, it was that he kept asking questions like 'how well will the frame hold up to being pulled at when I've got him tied down and he starts squirming…? He's stronger than he looks, you know.'

Then Jack had asked Ianto to give the canopy bed a 'test run' for sturdiness right there in the store, suggestively holding up a drapery tie-back. At that point, Ianto nodded at the bed he was currently making up and announced that they'd take this one, with the firm mattress both he and Jack had agreed upon and the sooner the better, please.

It was a good, sturdy, four post bed made of solid oak that should, he hoped, be able to take the rigours of their sex life. There seemed to be no way convincing Jack that no matter what the piece of paper said, certain things were _not _covered under the warranty.

_And at least we didn't end up with the one with those dreadful phallic looking bed knobs, _Ianto thought with relief. Jack had gotten into a lengthy discussion about phallic symbols and beds with several store employees and two customers. Ianto was surprised the manager hadn't chucked them out on the spot. _Some days I wonder if my whole life is going to spent smoothing over feathers he's ruffled…_

But it was over. They had their bed. He was happy. And last night really had been a good night. Ianto smiled again.

After leaving the furniture store, he'd set Jack lose on the mall while he went into the linen store. He wanted four pillows, so they'd each have two, and Egyptian cotton sheet sets in cheerful colours. Just before moving in here, Ianto had been set to redecorate his flat; it was time to get away from the stark white walls and beige furniture. He wanted more colour in his life… _should've watched what I wished for…_ he cast a sidelong glance back at Jack, who was apparently trying to decide which of his blue shirts he wanted to wear, the dark or the light. If there was one thing Jack brought to his life it was colour, even if to look at him, one might not immediately guess it.

Ianto tucked the bedspread into place under the pillows and folded his favourite duvet into place at the foot of the bed, feeling content. Over the past couple of days, he'd made huge strides in making the bedroom more comfortable.

It wasn't just the physical comfort of the bed and the new rug beneath his feet, it was the new lamps and the warm yellow paint Jack had helped him put on the walls, without a peep of complaint, no less. _And I suppose I really can't be__** too**__ upset about this morning when I've spent more time down here than up there this past week._ He shuddered to think of the state of the weekly reports.

Ianto couldn't help the smile that played across his lips when he finished the bed and turned around. Jack was finally dressed and primping in the mirror, using his hands to rake his hair into place. "You look fine," he assured him, coming up to stand next to his Captain. Jack was right; they did make a good looking couple. Jack was wearing dark blue shirt that brought out the colour of his eyes.

"I think I found another grey hair," Jack peered into the mirror.

The younger man chuckled, "I never, ever, would have figured you for vain, Jack." Before he'd moved in, Jack had never let Ianto see him like this.

"I think at _my_ age I'm allowed to be a little paranoid of going grey," his voice was ripe with indignation.

Ianto just snickered, "I'd think at _your_ age you'd be past it."

Jack gave him half a smile in the mirror, but there was something unreadable in his eyes just then.

"What is it?"

"Just something someone said to me once."

"Your Doctor again?"

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Come on, let's get out of here before we have another Weevil emergency."

"Or before Gwen starts yelling at us again."

Jack chuckled.

As he turned, Ianto noticed his reflection more closely and the pendant hanging around his neck. _He'll always love me… he'll never forget me…_


	20. The Joneses

**Chapter Twenty: The Joneses**

* * *

Ianto glanced at the clock on the dashboard again. They were only twenty minutes late and he _had_ phoned ahead to tell his mother that something had come up last minute and they'd be there soon. She'd taken it much more graciously than he'd expected. That worried him.

Jack gave Ianto's hand a gentle squeeze. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Ianto so nervous. "If it gets bad we can leave," he promised. He was driving this time, but it was Ianto's car, not the SUV. He supposed the younger man had a point about not pulling up in the Torchwood SUV if they wanted to maintain a low profile. "Maybe we should come up with a code word or something," Jack suggested. "So I'll know you want to go."

"Such as…?"

He grinned, "You could always use our usual safe word…"

"Jack."

"What?" he glanced over, trying to look innocent. It clearly wasn't working.

"I am not saying _that_ in front of my mother no matter how bad it gets."

"What's wrong with…"

"This is the street," Ianto cut him off. "Oh God," he groaned as Jack made the turn.

"What'd I do this time?" Jack demanded. He had taken the turn at a perfectly acceptable speed and he knew it.

"It's not you. That's Cade's truck," he nodded towards the rust speckled red pick up.

Jack felt his jaw clenching again.

"Kae, Kendra, Cameryn, Dillon and Tarra," Ianto said quickly.

"Excuse me?"

"Cade and Deidre's children. Kae, Kendra, Cameryn, Dillon and Tarra. And you can pull over anywhere," he added.

"Right." It had been easier to memorize the important Conventions of the Shadow Proclamation that it was to get a handle on the Jones family tree. "Are you absolutely sure you're not Catholic?" he asked as he parked Ianto's car.

Ianto shot him the same foul look he'd given the first time Jack had asked that question.

"I'm just saying. One brother has five kids and another on the way and the other one has three… and there are five you…"

"Just because I come from a big family does not mean I'm bloody Catholic!" Ianto snapped.

His ire subsided a bit then, when he saw Remi run out of the house and stop at the curb to wait for him. "That's Remi, Nerys's daughter," he told Jack. "I know I shouldn't say this, but she's really my favourite niece."

Jack looked at the child and then turned a quizzical expression on Ianto, "She's holding a stuffed pterodactyl."

The younger man smiled. "I know. I bought it for her."

Jack got out of the car, aware of the many sets of eyes staring at him from behind the windows in the Jones house. He shoved his hands in his pockets and concentrated on not staring back. It wasn't working. He flashed a smile in the direction of the house and then turned to the younger man, who was reaching into the backseat of the car. "Ianto?"

"Hmmm?" He picked up the large glass bowl of trifle he'd made up last night. It was one of the few things he could 'cook' from scratch.

"We never discussed… how do you want to do this?"

Ianto closed the car door. "Do what?"

"This." Jack was careful to keep his expression neutral and just barely nod towards the house.

"Erm… I don't know. I'd say be yourself, but I'd rather you didn't scare the wits out of them," he managed a smile despite the nervous flutter that had overtaken his stomach.

Jack chuckled, "How about I just follow your lead?"

Ianto nodded, heading across the street to where Remi was waiting. He doubted that Jack would actually follow his lead for long, but it was a way to get the evening started, anyway. He smiled down at his niece; it was wrong to pick favourites, but he'd adored Remi from the day she was born.

"Mam said not to give you 'nother heart 'tack." She told him when he got to the curb, wrapping her amrs around his waist.

Ianto smiled. Leave it to his sister…

"Is this your boyfriend?" Remi asked then, as Jack caught up to them.

If Jack hadn't caught it, the trifle would have hit the pavement. "Did your Mam say that?" Ianto asked his niece, happily handing off the dish to the other man while he attempted to recover from the abruptness of the question.

"Is he?" Remi asked again.

"Yes," Ianto forced the word out.

"I'm Jack," he leant over a bit, smiling warmly down at the child. "I love the pterodactyl, by the way."

"Uncle Yan got her for me," she hugged it close. "He says they like chocolate."

"Oh he does, does he?" Jack a mischievous look up at his young Welshman.

Ianto just shrugged, "Come on, we should go in."

Jack gazed up at him with raised eyebrows, "What if I want to hear more about pterodactyls?"

"_Jack."_

The older grinned so broadly his dimples showed. "Maybe later," he winked at Remi, who giggled back at him. He straightened himself up and when Ianto reached for his hand, he took it.

Ianto led the way up to the porch and didn't let go of his hand even when his mother stepped out onto the porch to greet them, a disapproving look on her face. It became deep frown when she noticed his bandaged arm. "What'd you do to yourself?"

"Erm… just… a little mishap this morning. Nothing serious," Ianto assured her quickly. With his heart pounding heavily in his chest, Ianto forced a smile, let go of Jack's hand and made the introductions, "Mam, this is Jack. Jack, Alice Jones, my mother."

Jack extended his hand to her, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Jones," he said with practiced formality and a sincere tone. Sometimes Ianto forgot that Jack had lived through more than one era where he must have had to be polite.

Alice smiled in return, but it was clearly forced. "Well. I told you not bring anything," she said in Ianto's direction after glancing briefly at the dish in Jack's hand rather than at Jack himself. She had yet to look him fully in the face.

"It's just a trifle, Mam."

"I suppose an extra dish is always welcome," she looked uncomfortable as she reached to take it from Jack, still not quite meeting his gaze.

"I've got it," he said with an even smile, "If someone could point me towards the kitchen…?"

"I'll show you," Remi volunteered.

Alice continued to look uncomfortable, but nodded. Although Jack held the door for her, she shook her head to indicate that she was staying outside a moment. Jack shot Ianto a quick look, then followed Remi in.

"Mam?" Ianto asked. "Do you want us to go…?"

"No. I just wanted to warn you that Cade's been in a state since he found out you were brining your… boyfriend…?" she seemed more unsure of the word than uncomfortable with it.

Ianto nodded, "Yes. Boyfriend."

Alice gave her son a long penetrating look; he stood there, his hands in his pockets and let her study him without protest. After a moment, she tilted her head to one side thoughtfully and ran her fingers through his short hair, like she used to when he was younger and his hair was longer. He couldn't help but smile a little, despite his trepidation at leaving Jack to fend for himself inside. He was sure Jack could handle himself… _then again, maybe that's what frightens me… _he thought.

She met his gaze and looked into his eyes for another very long moment, like she was trying to decide something. Finally, "You do seem happier than I think I've ever seen you. More… grown up," her smile was warm.

"I am."

She reached out and ran her fingers over the pendant. "From him?"

"How'd you know?"

Alice gave him a soft laugh, "I'm your mother." She slid her arm into his. "All right then, come on. Let's get this over with so we can eat supper."

It was just his brothers in the living room, staring at him in much the same way that pack of Weevils had eyed him this morning. He forced a smile that wasn't unlike the one he'd given the Weevils, "Nice to see everybody."

Ianto could hear laughter coming from the kitchen, one male voice amongst the female voices. He had the mental image of Jack sitting at the kitchen table telling one of his stories to Nerys and his sisters in law… he only hoped it was one of the few that was fit for polite company.

He looked at each of his brothers in turn; Davydd looked away, uncomfortably. Gavin gave a wan smile.

Another peal of uproarious laughter rang out from the kitchen.

Cade was the first to speak, leaning forward to the edge of his seat on the sofa as he did so. "So which one of you is the girl, then?"

Alice gave her eldest a dark look; even Gavin stared at him from the other side of the room, as if he honestly couldn't believe Cade had just said that. Davydd continued to stare out the window.

"It's an honest question!" Cade defended himself. "You're wearing pink, but he's in the kitchen with the women cackling away like he's one of the hens. I'm just curious who's the man and who's the girl, that's all."

The rest of the room was silent.

"Can't a man wonder where his own brother stands?" Cade shot Ianto a demanding look.

Ianto rolled his eyes, "I think you'll find we're both men, thank you, Cade." His tone was dry.

"Well I, for one, am glad you're both here," Gavin smiled as he crossed the distance between he and his younger brother. He held out his hand and when Ianto accepted, he pulled him into an embrace like always did, seemingly witout reservation. "What'd you do there, then?" he asked of the arm, after they'd let go of one another.

"Household mishap," the younger man shrugged, finding it easier to lie the second time. Gavin's welcome made him feel more at ease. He'd known Cade would be difficult, but he hadn't known what Gavin would say or do. Having what felt like his support made Ianto feel like he might be able to get through the day after all. He turned to his younger brother. "Davydd…?" he asked.

Davydd's hair was a couple of inches longer than he remembered it and he was pretty sure the earring and black fingernail polish were new trends as well. "Yeah. Hi."

Alice frowned, motioning for him to stand up and say hello properly.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Davydd got up and extended his hand.

"How's university?" Ianto asked, accepting the handshake.

"Didn't you hear? I've dropped out. Looks like you're not the only tosser in the family any more."

"Davydd…!" Alice scolded.

Ianto gave him a sympathetic smile, "There's life after University, Davydd, honest."

The younger man scoffed, "Yeah, I could always end up working in a construction yard," he cast a dark look over at Cade.

"Better that than working in some _tourist shop_," the older man snapped, glaring at Ianto.

"That's enough, the lot of you!" Alice said in a sharp tone. "If you can't keep a civil tongue in your head, you can go home," she scowled at both her eldest and her youngest.

Cade blinked at her, clearly unable to believe that that was meant for him. "You're going to choose the queer over _**me**__?"_

"I'm not choosing anybody over anybody."

Drawn by the increasingly heated tones in the living room, Jack, Nerys, Deidre, and Gavin's wife Trea, came in from the kitchen.

Jack shot Ianto a concerned look; the headshake he got in return was barely noticeable, but he saw it. Ianto didn't need rescuing, not yet anyway.

Alice turned her attention to the ladies, "Trea, Deidre, would you get the children washed up for supper?" she asked. "Nerys, set the table please." She turned back to her sons, "And you four sit down and start behaving like civilize adults. Unless you want to sit at the kids' table during supper," she added with a dark glare before heading towards the kitchen. She stopped briefly to look at Jack, who was giving her a questioning look. "Right then. I suppose I could use an extra pair of hands in the kitchen. Ianto tells me you can cook," she motioned for him to follow her.

Jack glanced at Ianto again before leaving the room. The younger man answered his concerned expression with a tight smile, trying to convey that he'd be all right even if he wasn't sure it was true. He knew what his mother wanted some time alone with Jack to try and get to know him. It was a good sign, he just hoped they both survived the experience…

"I guess that settles that," Cade muttered, just barely loud enough to be heard. "He's the girl."

Ianto almost laughed, "I _don't _suggest you say that to him."

"Why, what's he going to do?" the elder brother smirked.

"Leave it, Cade," Gavin's tone was one of warning. "Both of you," he added in Ianto's direction.

Ianto stopped himself from reminding Gavin that Cade was the one who started it. _I'm not seven,_ he told himself firmly._ I'm man enough to just let it drop._ Forcing a smile, he asked his eldest brother how his wife was doing.

Cade shrugged. "She's pregnant. What more is there to say?"

Ianto sighed. It was going to be a long night.

………………………….

"So tell me something about yourself," Alice said as the kitchen door swung had shut behind them.

Jack leant up against the counter with his arms folded across his chest, "What would you like to know?"

She turned and gave him an appraising look. "How old are you?"

"How old do I look?"

"Old enough to know better than playing games." She pulled a fork out of the dish drainer next to the sink.

"I guess I'm a little vain about my age," he shrugged his shoulders at her. So far he had the feeling they weren't off to a very good start.

She rolled her eyes in a move that was so classically Ianto, Jack had a hard time not smiling.

He knew Nerys liked him, and the sisters in law had been easily charmed by a couple of clever stories and a little sycophancy thrown their way. It had particularly worked on Deidre who apparently got little in the way of kindness from her husband, especially when she was pregnant, a state she'd been in for most of the last seven years. That more than Cade's treatment of Ianto bothered Jack. When he had told Deidre that the most beautiful creature in the Universe was someone who was pregnant, he hadn't been lying.

But it was Ianto's mother's opinion of him that mattered here and Jack knew it. He uncrossed his arms and shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to appear less closed off. It had been a long time since he'd subjected himself to the ritual of meeting the family and he'd forgotten just how difficult it could be.

Laura's parents had been easily won over. Her father and brothers were military men so they automatically liked him, and in those days the rules of courtship were so clearly outlined that all he had to do was follow the accepted social expectations and he was fine. Estelle hadn't had much family of which to speak, just an elderly aunt still living, so that had made it easy.

Before that he'd lived in a different time with different expectations. There had been no formal meeting of the families in any of the relationships he'd been in, none of them had been serious enough, except maybe for John... maybe... Alices's voice brought him back to the present.

"You're a bit older than him, I think," she said, turning and poking at one of the potatoes boiling in the pot on the stove.

"Yes," Jack conceded the point. "But it means I'm old enough to know what I want." He tried very hard to sound sincere.

"And that is?"

"To be happy. To make him happy."

She looked back at him over her shoulder, "That's well and good, but happiness doesn't pay the rent, you know."

Jack nodded. He realized he shouldn't be surprised that Ianto's mother was the pragmatic type.

"Would you mind?" she nodded towards the pot.

"Not at all," Jack rolled up his sleeves and lifted the pot over to the sink, dumping the potatoes into a waiting colander.

"I realize a tourist shop wage might do when you're young," she went on, "But what about when get to be my age? _Assuming _your plans are long term," she added in an acerbic tone that made him wince for reasons other than what she was most likely thinking.

Jack took the moment he needed to put the pot back onto the stove to suppress the sharp pang of hurt he felt, knowing that Ianto would probably never reach his mother's age. He had asked the younger man if he would consider returning to his old job, the one that kept him out of the field, but Ianto was too convinced that they needed him out there. He was right, Jack just knew what the life expectancy of a field agent was and he hated it. But he couldn't make it an order, no matter how much he wanted to.

Ianto was right, they would just take whatever they were given and enjoy it, whether it was six months or six years. He cleared his throat to free of the lump that had settled there. "I have some savings," he answered her question as honestly as he could. "We'll be fine."

Rather than pressing the issue, Alice asked him to put the potatoes back into the pot. "Nerys tells me you're retired Air Force?" she asked after a moment.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"You don't look old enough to be retired."

"Medical retirement," he lied, realizing he really should have thought this through a little more before arriving.

"You seem fit."

"I like to think so," Jack smirked at her without thinking.

She gave him a dark look, "You're a glib one, I'll give you that."

"Yes, Ma'am." There wasn't much use denying it. He set the empty colander back into this sink.

"You can stop calling me Ma'am. Alice will do. There's a pair of oven mitts behind you. The roast should be ready to come out."

Her tone and expression were impossible to read, other than it being clear she wasn't happy. Jack hoped Ianto was having an easier time of it in the other room. So far at least, he wasn't hearing any more shouting. _Besides, Ianto can handle himself, _he remembered.

He got the roasting pan out and set it on the stovetop, commenting that the roast smelled great, which it did.

When he turned around Alice wasn't smiling.

"I don't understand what makes one man fall in love with another one, Jack," she told him bluntly. "But I know my son thinks you're something pretty special. He's been through an awful lot these past few years and the last thing I want is to see him getting hurt again."

Jack leaned back up against the counter. He decided that no matter what else happened today, he could like Ianto's mother because of that statement. "I know what he's been through. I don't want to see him getting hurt either. And I think he's pretty special too. He makes my life… complete," he shrugged. It was the best word he could come up with to explain how he felt.

Alice gave him a long hard look. Finally her expression softened a little. "There's some kale in the refrigerator. Would you get it for me?"

"Sure," Jack nodded, finding it easily.

"I hope you like greens," Alice said as he handed it to her.

"Love 'em. Ianto doesn't, thought."

"He needs to eat more vegetables," her tone was dry.

Jack chuckled, "I keep telling him that."

She glanced up at him as she got the chopping board out of a cupboard. "Your accent isn't like the American accents I usually hear on television." She set about chopping the kale.

"It's Midwestern."

"Where is that exactly?"

"Erm… Iowa, Illinois…"

"Which state are you from, then?" She slid the kale into the pot with the potatoes, giving him a slide long glance over her shoulder.

"Illinois," he answered, making a mental note remember what he was saying so he could keep his story straight. "A town called Boeshane." The fewer lies the better.

"Funny name for a town."

Jack refrained from commenting that in Welsh Cardiff was Caerdydd which as far as he was concerned was a whole lot stranger sounding that Boeshane…

Watching her put two sticks of butter and an egg yoke into the potatoes before handing him the masher and asking him to do the honours, Jack began to wonder if he should worry more about Ianto's arteries than what might happen the next time they were invaded by aliens…


	21. The Joneses Pt 2

**Chapter Twenty One: The Joneses Pt. 2 **

**A/N: **_Much to my chagrin, I realized I misspelled character names in the last chapter. It's Dafydd, honest. (And I realize it should be "Kai", not Kae, but since I've stated w/ Kae, I'll stick w/ it. Kae is the name of character I wrote in an original piece, so that's my excuse…)_

**Thank you again for the lovely reviews**, they keep me going, especially w/ my husband out of town for two weeks. I need every little smile I can get.

* * *

Ianto was finally able to get a word with Jack by volunteering to help bring supper from the kitchen to the dining room table. "Well?" he whispered; he was aware that his mother was watching from the doorway.

"Well what?" Jack whispered back in a nonchalant tone that made the younger man want to scream.

"Don't do this to me, Jack, you know what I'm asking!" he hissed.

"Relax," Jack set the roast, now sitting on a lovely China platter, in the centre of the table and took the bowl of mashed potatoes with kale from Ianto's hands. "It went fine."

The Welshman cast him a doubtful look.

"Ianto, I've faced down Daleks and Cybermen," Jack kept his tone low. "I can handle a concerned mother's interrogation."

"Oh God, it was bad, wasn't it?"

Jack laughed loudly enough that Alice gave them a look. He flashed her an apologetic smile; she rolled her eyes and stepped out of the room to give them some needed privacy.

Jack folded his arms across his chest, glancing into the living room; Dafydd was still staring out the window, while Gavin and Cade were engaged in quiet discussion.

Ianto stepped out of line of sight of the living room and stood with his hands on his hips, _"So?" _he asked again.

"It went fine," Jack repeated. He lowered his voice, glancing back out at the brothers again, but it didn't look like they were paying any attention. "I'm from Illinois. A town called Boeshane."

Ianto groaned.

"It was the best I could come up with under pressure."

"Fine. Anything else?"

"I've managed to avoid saying how old I am. Your mother did notice that I look older than you, though."

"Thirty five," Ianto blurted out.

"What?"

"If it comes up again, go with thirty five."

"Do I honestly look _thirty five_?" Jack all but yelped.

Gavin and Cade both looked up; Jack shot a wink that made Cade go red faced.

"Jack. Don't start. Please." Ianto's tone was pained.

"Do I_ really_ look thirty five?" He asked again, his voice quieter.

"Fine. Say whatever you want. Just something under a hundred would be nice!" He hissed and huffed back into the kitchen.

Jack was surprised when he realized that Gavin was headed his way; he was about to make his own retreat but the look on the other man's face stopped him.

"It was like this the first time I brought Trea over to meet Mam," Ianto's older brother told him in a sympathetic tone. "I hope you don't make the mistake of fighting with him all the way home the way we did. We never really got properly introduced, by the way," he added, holding out his hand. "I'm Gavin."

"Jack Harkness," Jack accepted the handshake and everything it meant. "Ianto's been tense about me meeting you… guys." He just barely stopped himself from saying 'kids.'

"I'll bet. Look… I don't know what he told you about what happened when he was a younger… him and Cade. And the rest of us."

Jack made the effort to keep his tone neutral, "It's none of my business."

"Your parents though, how did they take you being gay? It must've been hard… right?"

"I'm not gay."

Gavin blinked.

"I hate labels," Jack wondered just how many times he was going to have to explain it. "And my parents were fine with my sexuality."

"Really?"

"Hippies." He used Ianto's excuse instead of saying that his parents simply weren't as constrained as the sexually repressed, narrow minded population of the twenty-first century.

"Ah. Well. We grew up pretty conservative Anglican. Not that I believe in that whole it being a sin or anything, I've got a coworker whose a lesbian… am I making a complete ass out of myself?" he asked to Jack's dead-pan expression.

Jack smiled, "No. I appreciate the effort." He glanced at the closed kitchen door.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure he'll get over it," Gavin assured him. "Try not to let Cade get to you. He's been under a lot of stress with Deidre being pregnant again. It's not really you he's got the problem with, he just lashes out."

Jack nodded without commenting. "I should probably finish helping in the kitchen."

"Right. Well. Look… it's good to meet you. Ianto turned into a recluse after Lisa; for a while I didn't think he was ever going to come out of it. I'm glad he's getting his life back together, it doesn't matter who… you know." He floundered a little, shrugging his shoulders. "I really could care less if he's gay or bisexual or whatever, I'm just glad to see him happy again."

"Me too."

…………………………………………….

"Yan?" Nerys asked when Ianto came into the kitchen, a brooding expression on his face. "Are you all right?"

"Never better, thanks."

She frowned; Ianto waved it off. He didn't want to tell his sister that he and Jack had just had a spat over how old he bloody looked.

He glanced at the kitchen table to see if Deidre needed any help. The older children were assembled and settling in to supper. The only ones missing were Trea and she and Gavin's one year old daughter Olivia. They were probably upstairs; Olivia was still breastfeeding.

"Uncle Ianto," Kendra, Deidre and Cade's eight year old, looked up at him from the table. "Is it true? Is that man _really_ your boyfriend?"

Kae shot her a look that rivaled one of his father's.

"Yes," Ianto began slowly, trying to gauge his sister in law's reaction to the question. She seemed suddenly interested in looking at anything in the room except for him.

"See," Rem's tone was triumphant, "I _told_ you, Kae."

"What's going on here?" Nerys moved back over to the table, with Ianto just behind her.

"Kae didn't believe me that Uncle Yan and Jack were boyfriend and boyfriend," Remi informed her mother.

"How come you have a boyfriend?" Kendra asked before any of the adults could respond. "You're a boy. You're supposed to like girls, everybody knows that."

"They're_ just_ friends," Kae snapped at his sister. "Right?" he looked to Ianto, clearly expecting him to say yes. "Boy. Friend. It doesn't _mean_ anything, Uncle Ianto _isn't_ a queer. Right?" he seemed almost desperate for one of the adults to back him up.

The only thing he got was his mother telling him in a stern tone that she didn't want to hear him using that word again.

"But Dad says it all the time," insisted Kendra.

"He also says we shouldn't talk about it," Kae told her, still sounding defensive.

Deidre cast a brief apologetic look in Ianto's direction before addressing her children, "Your father says a lot of things, that doesn't mean you should be repeating them. Perhaps not talking about it is a good idea."

_And apparently de'Nile isn't just a river in Egypt,_ Ianto thought to himself.

He looked at the other children who were seated at the table. Cameryn, Cale and Deidre's seven year old, looked uncomfortable. Jarred and Dillon, both five, looked confused. Tarra was too young to understand.

Remi, however, was looking at him expectantly. Hers was the expression that got to him. He couldn't just let it lie where it was without some kind of explanation, even though he was certain that Deidre would probably prefer it if he did.

Ianto took a breath and knelt down to the children's level, "Not talking about something doesn't make it go away, does it?" He asked his nephew in a patient tone.

"But you're not… like that." Kae said, shooting his mother a quick look. "You had a girlfriend."

"You're right. I did. And I loved her very much."

Just then, Jack stepped into the kitchen. Ianto smiled at his Captain's impeccable timing; he held out his hand. Jack crossed the distance between them and took it without hesitation. Ianto stood up and pulled him closer, welcoming the warmth of the older man's presence. "Now I have a boyfriend. And I love him very much," Ianto glanced back at Jack, hoping to convey how much he regretted snapping at him in the dining room.

Jack's smile was a good indication that he understood.

Ianto gave him a quick smile in return before turning his attention back to his nieces and nephews. "This is Jack," he told them. "Jack - Kae, Kendra, Dillon, Cameryn, Remi you've met, and of course Tarra," he nodded to the toddler in the high chair who was more interested in her mashed potatoes than anything the adults had to say.

"But it's not that kind of love, men don't _do_ that!" Kae insisted.

"Some men do," Ianto told him. "I do. Jack does," he pulled both of Jack's arms around his waist in a clear demonstration of affection.

"I think that's enough," Deidre said in a soft tone, looking mostly at the children. "Your supper's getting cold."

………………………………………….….

"What exactly do you do all day?" Dafydd asked Ianto and Jack as the food was being passed around the table. "What _is_ the life of a tourist office clerk or whatever, really?"

Ianto shot Jack a look, silently praying for just one Dalek to land at Downing Street, never mind that that was in London and UNIT would be called out to deal with it before Torchwood would ever receive a call. "It's… dull." Ianto said, passing the mashed potatoes on to Nerys without taking any.

"You need more vegetables," Jack, who was sitting on his other side, chided.

Ianto rolled his eyes at him.

"And I think Ianto is being too modest," Jack gave a wry little smile over at Dafydd.

"What is it then, just handing out brochures and pamphlets all day?" Cade asked; whereas Dafydd's question had rung with honest curiosity, his tone was nothing but condescending.

"Actually since his promotion, Ianto's hardly in the office at all," Jack favoured Cade with a sly little smile.

"You didn't tell us you'd been promoted," Nerys looked over at him.

"When did this happen?" Alice inquired of her son.

Jack was faster at opening his mouth: "While I was away on… a medical leave."

_Oh God, here we go…_ Ianto groaned softly. To make both his mother and Jack happy, he took a small portion of carrots, shooting them both looks.

"It was nothing serious, I hope," Trea asked in Jack's direction.

Jack's grin was mischievous, "Nothing the right Doctor couldn't help me with."

"So what's your new job then?" Nerys asked Ianto.

"Office manager," Ianto answered simply, wishing that someone would come up with something else to talk about, but not having any idea how to accomplish it himself.

"So what do you do?" Trea asked Jack.

"He's the boss," Nerys told her.

There were several glances from around the table.

"At work we're strictly professional," Jack assured the lot of them. "Ianto got his promotion because he earned it."

"So if you work at a tourist office," Trea went on, as they settled into eating, "Do you ever get special promotions or anything?"

Gavin groaned.

"There's no harm in _asking_, Gav."

"What're you looking for?" Jack inquired.

Giving her husband a look that clearly indicated he'd better not laugh, "I've been trying to win Johnny Chess tickets on the radio… he's playing at the Millennium Centre next week and the show's been sold out for months… I know it's silly," she blushed a little, looking down at her plate.

"Consider it done," said Jack, before setting in on his food.

Ianto dropped his fork.

"Are you all right?" Trea and Nerys asked at nearly the same time.

"Perfect," he glared at Jack; Jack seemed to be making a point of not noticing.

"You can really get Millennium Centre tickets?" Dafydd asked him, sounding more curious than skeptical.

The older man smiled, "Sometimes."

"But the show's sold out…" Ianto tried to sound reasonable.

"I've got it covered," Jack assured him. "And no, you're not going to see it on an expense report," he added in Ianto's direction. "I made the mistake of letting Ianto take over the books," he said the inquisitive looks he was getting from the Jones family. "The way he goes on about every little thing, you'd think we were responsible to the Queen _herself _for our expenses," his tone was ripe with sarcasm.

Ianto nearly choked.

"Don't eat so fast," Alice advised him.

Clearing his throat, Ianto reached for his water, glaring hard at the man sitting next to him. Jack smiled back impassively.

"As kind as the offer is," Gavin spoke up, "The reason we didn't get tickets in the first place was that we couldn't afford them."

Jack waved it aside, "When I say I've got it covered, I've got it covered. I might even be able to get you backstage passes."

"No!" Trea gasped. "Could you… really?"

"I'll make a few calls in the morning and see what I can arrange."

"Right," Cade muttered.

"Were you interested in going?" Jack asked him with a mischievous grin.

"You work at a tourist shop," the elder brother scoffed. "And here you are trying to make it sound like you're some big shot."

Jack just shrugged and continued eating. "Oh," he said after a moment, looking back to Trea, "How many tickets did you need?"

"There were a couple of us at the office who wanted to go… but really… I don't want to impose."

"It's no imposition. In fact, it would be my pleasure."

…………………………………………………..

"Jack. You can't _honestly_ get Johnny Chess tickets, can you?" Ianto asked as he piled dishes into the dishwasher. Nerys was in the kitchen helping them, too, washing up the larger pots and pans. The kids had gone off to play outside after desert, saving any more awkward conversations.

Jack handed him another plate, "It just so happens that I can. I got lucky, actually." he admitted when Ianto shot him a disbelieving look.

"If your next sentence has the phrase 'my ex boyfriend' in it…'" Ianto gave him a warning glare.

Jack laughed, "Not for lack of trying, but no."

"You've a lot of ex boyfriends, then?" Nerys asked him suspiciously.

Jack shrugged, scraping another plate into the bin before handing it over to Ianto.

She didn't look impressed by his lack of response.

"I was teasing, Ner," Ianto told her. "Sometimes it just feels like half his sentences start that way, but it doesn't bother me," he added.

"You know, it really isn't considered polite to talk about your ex boyfriends with your current boyfriend," Nerys told Jack as she washed the last pot and set it over in the drainer to dry.

His look was one of pure innocence. "It isn't?"

"Jack," Ianto warned.

"What?"

"I'm about to say that word I said I wouldn't say."

Jack just laughed, "We should probably go soon, anyway." He'd noticed the way Ianto had started favouring his wounded arm about an hour ago.

"Jack… do you mind giving us a minute?"

"Nerys," Ianto protested.

Jack, however, nodded and made his exit, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Nerys, honestly," he said to his sister. "I was just teasing him. I know I'm not his first boyfriend. He's older than me, remember?"

"I just don't want you ending up getting hurt, that's all. I do like him," she added. "But there's… there's something about him… I can't put a finger on it. He's different."

_There's an understatement, _Ianto stifled a laugh. "Jack is… a compulsive flirt," he leant against the counter as he spoke. "And sexually he's… well he's got different… a different outlook," he struggled to put into words she might be able to understand and hopefully not judge too harshly. "But I'm the one he loves. We've had our ups and downs," he admitted. "There were times when I thought I'd never speak to him again, he'd made me so angry. But I've realized I couldn't live without him and life is just too short and too precious to waste it being mad at the one person who makes me feel whole."

"Ianto," she laid her hand over his. "_No one_ is so important that you can't live without them. _**No one.**_ Believe me, I thought JP was it, the last man I would ever love or need or want and now look at us."

He curled his fingers into hers, "This is different. I know it is. He's… he's everything to me, Ner. I can't explain it any better than that."

"But what are you to him?" she wanted to know. "If he won't even call himself gay or bisexual, if he won't admit…"

Ianto shook his head, "It's not about admitting or not admitting, he just honestly doesn't care for labels. If you pressed him hard enough, he'd say he was omni-sexual."

"What's_ that_ supposed to mean?"

"That when his ex comes around, we'd better hide Mrs. Marston's poodle."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter," he gave her a half-smile. "What matters is that Jack promised… he said he would always love me. I believe him."

Nerys regarded him a moment. "Always is a long time."

"You have no idea how long," he glanced out the kitchen window at the darkening evening sky. "Someday it's all going to go dark," he told her softly. "Every star will go out… but wherever he is, whatever he's doing, he'll remember… he'll remember that Ianto Jones existed and that I loved him more than anything," he met his sister's perplexed gaze and smiled.

"Yan?"

He shook his head, realizing he'd said more than he'd intended. But since he was on a roll, "I erm… if anything ever happens to me… "

"Ianto…"

"No, I mean it. If anything ever happens to me, I want you to be the one who… who takes care of… certain things. My bank account, that sort of thing. You don't have to worry about my personal things," he added. Torchwood would handle that. All of his possessions would end boxed up in storage. "I'd like to put your name on my accounts."

"Sweetheart, you're only _twenty four_. You're not going anywhere…"

He caught the nervous look in her eye and the way she squeezed his hand just then. "I know," he lied. "I just want to know that no matter what, you and Remi will be ok."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, "Please tell me there's nothing wrong with you, Ianto."

"There is _nothing_ wrong with me," he promised, holding onto her with his good arm, just as tightly as he could. "But Lisa was only twenty three when she died, remember?"

"That was an accident, a fire…"

"Exactly. You never know what's going to happen next. For all I know… for all I know I could have an incident with a toaster," he smiled despite the pang of loss he felt remembering Tosh's final message.

Nerys laughed, "All right. Just… just tell me you're going to be around for a long, long time."

"I'll do my best."


	22. Absolute Drabble see Note inside

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Absolute Drabble**

**A/N: **_Short and sweet and meant mostly as a bit of random humour. This could really fit in anywhere after Wendy's joined the team… I've had this conversation in my head and wanted to write it (particularly "…or are you just happy to see me?" line). _

_The next Chapter will return to Ianto's family and the impending wedding. Who knows, maybe I'll weave the Doctor into it for fun… ;-) it's not as if Ianto doesn't have enough else on his mind._

* * *

Jack stopped short at the sight of the man standing in the woods, holding a torch in one hand and a sonic screwdriver in the other. His expression was a blend of stunned recognition and genuine alarm.

"Jaa-aack," he stretched the Captain's name out into almost three full syllables.

"Doctor," Jack smirked back, mostly in response to the Time Lord's saucer wide eyes. It was a rare thing to see the Doctor so clearly taken aback by what he was seeing.

"Jack," he repeated. "Is that a werewolf standing next to you, or are you just that happy to see me?"

Jack couldn't help laughing, because even he had to admit that_ that_ was a clever line. "Would it be all right if I said both?" he raised his eyebrows suggestively. The Doctor still seemed leery, however.

"Why exactly is there a werewolf standing next to you?" he asked, eyeing both the creature in question and the entirely too-glib-for-his-own-good Captain.

"This is Wendy. Wendy, the Doctor," he glanced up at her. She arched an eye-ridge. "Yes, that Doctor. And if I know those keen ears of yours," he added with a slight grin, "Yes, you're really hearing two heartbeats, he's not human."

"Jaa-aack…"

"It's not like she hasn't seen your file."

The Doctor's gaze was off the werewolf and riveted to Jack's face, "My _**what?"**_

"Torchwood," Jack reminded him.

"Why has…she… seen my file?" He glanced back up at the werewolf, caution and curiosity clearly warring with themselves inside him.

Before Jack could answer, Gwen's voice came over the com, "Jack? Are you all right?"

"We're fine," he told her. "Just a bit of a… " how would he describe the situation? "Diversion. Got anything yet?"

"About twenty clicks north of your present location."

Jack groaned. It had been his idea to accompany Wendy, and to let her go lupine, but he was starting to regret it. "All right," he said into his com. "I assume you heard that," he looked up at Wendy, who nodded. "We've really gotta come up with a better way of communicating," he added.

She gave him what Jack recognized as a smile but it caused the Doctor to take two steps back.

Jack ignored him for a moment more, "We'll just track you," he told Wendy. "Because trying to keep up with you is going to kill me. Go. And be careful!" He added as she shifted into a true quadruped and took off at a dead run.

The Doctor was slack jawed.

"Bet you didn't know they could do that," Jack grinned at him. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"What are you doing with a werewolf?"

"Not nearly as much as I'd like." Jack told him with a lascivious grin.

"Jack!"

"What? Even with fur, you've got to admit…. " he let his voice trail off. "No?"

"No," the Time Lord said in a flat, certain, tone.

Jack shrugged. "She's a member of my team."

"Torchwood has a werewolf?"

"We've got a pterodactyl too."

The Doctor just looked at him.

"So what are you doing here?" Jack asked again, moving in the direction Wendy had taken off in; the Doctor followed, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Oh, you know…" he let his voice trail off. "The usual. You?"

"Tracking a Drollavan who came through the rift a couple of hours ago."

"Oooh," the Doctor made a face. "Nasty things, Drollavans."

"You're telling me. Why do you think I had a werewolf standing next to me?" He winked. He looked around trying to figure out exactly which way she'd gone. "Gwen?" he said into his com. "Which way?"

"North East. She's still chasing it. I'm picking up another heat signature, right next to you. What's going on?"

"I erm… ran into an old friend."

Ianto's voice came over the com, "Please tell me it's not John again."

"No, it's not John."

"Thank God," he muttered half under his breath. Then: "They've stopped. I think she's got it… Jack…"

"Right," he clicked off his com, "Sorry, gotta run… although if you'd like to tag along…"

"Well… I never could refuse the offer to go chasing off after aliens with an old friend," the Doctor's grin was as full of mischief as Jack's own.

"God, I've missed you," Jack said as they started running after Wendy. "Come on – if anything happens to her, Ianto will kill me. Twice."

"If anything happens to _her_… and who's Ianto…?" The Doctor asked as he ran after Jack.


	23. Werewolves, Weddings Plans and Time Trav

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Werewolves, Weddings Plans and Time ****Travellers**

Follow up to the Werewolf Drabble… glad everybody enjoyed it! I guess this fits in right were we left off then…

**A/N: **_Ever wonder how Jack got a pterodactyl back to the Hub, by himself, driving only an SUV?_ _Anybody else w/ the mental image of poor Myfanwy strapped to the top of an SUV…? _

* * *

By the time Jack and the Doctor reached her, Wendy had the Drollavan pinned to the ground with most of its limbs pinned either under it by its body or behind it. She shot him a look – she couldn't hang onto the wriggling thing much longer.

The Captain drew his gun – and promptly had to deal with the Doctor's strenuous objection to him shooting anything. He pulled the weapon away from the Doctor's grasp and fired off two quick rounds before the Time Lord had a chance to object a second time. The traq darts sank deep into the Dollavan's wooly hide, bare centimeters from Wendy's leg. She glared at him.

"It's a tranquilizer!" Jack snapped at the Doctor and then to Wendy, "And I told you I was a good shot, so don't you start either!" While he yelled, he reloaded.

"Sorry," the Time Lord at least had the decency to look a bit embarrassed at his over-reaction.

Jack spared just a moment to glare at him before putting two more darts into the flailing alien. It finally stopped moving. "Give me a_ little_ credit," he said to the Doctor after he was sure the Dollavan was unconscious. He watched the Doctor watching Wendy as she shifted back into her human form… the two of them offered her their coats in the same instant.

Wendy took the Doctor's. "I always swim in that thing of yours, sorry," she said to Jack's hurt look as she slid into the Doctor's long brown coat, pulling it closed. "Thanks." She smiled at the Doctor. "I hope I didn't give you too bad of a scare."

"Nah… well… maybe a little one," he gestured with his finger and thumb a few centimetres apart. "The last time I ran into a werewolf… you're really aware of everything… ? I mean… you know…"

She laughed, "Yes."

"And you can control the change… the moon isn't even full…" he looked up at the night sky as if for confirmation. The moon was barley a crescent. "You've got complete control over it?"

"'It' is simply a part of who I am, Doctor."

"That's incredible… _you're_ incredible," he told her, genuine awe in his voice (he hadn't let go of her hand, either.) "Absolutely incredible." He glanced back at Jack. "She's incredible!"

"Yes, she is," he agreed.

"Does he always gush like this?"

"Trust me, it has _nothing_ to do with you being beautiful," Jack winked at her, slipping his coat back on.

"He's not like _you_ is he…?" she looked from Jack to the Doctor and back again.

The Doctor pulled his hand back, "No! No, no, no… I just meant… you're amazing. Absolutely amazing. Quite lovely, too," he added almost as an after thought, as if he had honestly just noticed that she was, indeed, a beautiful woman. "I can assure you my intentions aren't… well… _anything_ like his," he gave Jack a sidelong glance.

"Hey!" the Captain shot him a look. "I resent that."

"Resemble it is more like it," the Doctor muttered at him. "Your dance card is full even by fifty first century standards."

Jack raised his eyebrows and gave a half-smile that made his dimples show, "You might be surprised, Doctor."

He gave the Captain an inquisitive look. However, when he spoke it was to ask a more practical question, "What are you planning on doing with it now?" he nodded at the Drollavan.

"Take it home and put it in a really big cell."

"They're wild animals, Jack. It's hardly its fault that it ended up here."

"I can't exactly let it run around Cardiff, now can I?"

"Well…"

Jack regareded him a moment, "Do you have a better idea?"

"I've got a few days to kill… Donna's visiting her family in London," he explained, "Maybe I could give it a lift home. Fancy taking a little trip with me?" he asked Jack with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "I could have you back by tea tomorrow." He added.

Jack didn't realize he was grinning until he noticed the dark look on Wendy's face. "How would you even get it through the TARDIS doors?" He asked instead of answering the question.

"Oh, there are ways. I'm a rather clever fellow, you know."

Jack laughed. Then he asked the Doctor why he was in Cardiff if Donna had wanted to visit her family in London.

"Well… you know…." He glanced around, up, down, over his shoulder, obviously trying to dodge the question. "Nice city, Cardiff. I don't visit here often enough, do I?"

"You landed here instead of London, huh?"

"Only off by a tick. Donna decided to take the bus. Something about not wanting to end up in the right town but wrong century."

Jack shook his head. He's almost forgotten how unpredictable the Doctor's adventures could be. "I think I'll just take our friend here back to the Hub. You're welcome to come along," he offered.

"Don't mind if I do," he smiled amiably in return. "I'd like to meet this team of yours."

Jack turned to Wendy, "I don't suppose you'd mind...?" he asked her, nodding at the sedated alien.

"Captain! I'm surprised at you," the Doctor scolded him. "The lady here did all the hard work. The least we can do is be gentlemen about it and offer to carry it back to wherever it is you're taking it."

Jack gave him a sour look. "Fine. But you take the… that end." He gestured to the end that had the most appendences. Without waiting for an answer, Jack tapped his com, "Gwen, Ianto, we're bringing it in. Live capture. See if you can get the SUV in any closer than where you are now."

"Will do," Gwen replied.

Ianto groaned over the com at the words 'live capture.'

"Jack," came Gwen's voice again; she dragged his name out into two syllables.

"Yes, Gwen," he answered her.

"I'm still reading that extra heat signature next to you."

"Probably because he's still standing here." Without further explanation, he handed Wendy his com so she could get directions from Gwen, seeing as he was going to have his hands, quite literally, full.

…………………………………………………………..

Ianto peered into the night, a tight knot growing in his stomach. He tried to tell himself he was being silly, not all surprises were bad... _I just have a bad feeling about this one..._

Presently he saw Wendy emerge from the tree line, followed by Jack and another man carrying the sedated alien between them. The park was too dimly lit for him to make out much more than shapes at this distance but as they got closer, he and Gwen slid out of the front seat of the SUV and Ianto began to pick out the details of the other man.

He was tall. Thin. Dark hair sticking up all over the place. Ianto imagined that in the right kind of glasses, he would have that 'weird Elvis Costello' thing going, just the way Jack had described him.

The Welshman took a deep breath, ignored the fact that his heart had just sunk to his shoes, and forced his face into a mask of congenial professionalism.

Wendy shot him a look; he returned it with a nod to indicate that yes, he'd figured out who was with them. He'd always known the Doctor would reappear in Jack's life, he just didn't know what Jack would do about it. It was that uncertainty that hurt.

As soon as they got to the SUV, Jack and the Doctor lowered the Drollavan to the ground and Jack made the introductions: "Doctor, I'd like you to meet my team. Most of them anyway. Bobby has the night off. But this is Ianto Jones and Gwen Williams."

Gwen gave Ianto a wide-eyed look as soon as the word 'doctor' got out of Jack's mouth, but the young man remained impassive.

"You're that Doctor, then?" Gwen inquired in a sharp tone on Ianto's behalf, as soon as it became clear that Ianto wasn't going to do anything but stand there with his hands in his pockets. She shot Wendy a look too. Logically she knew there was no way the other woman could have warned them, all the coms were set to the same channel, but she might have _tried_…

The Doctor rubbed at the back of his neck, "Oh dear, I've got a reputation have I?" he asked apologetically, even though he clearly had no idea what he was apologizing for.

"Not at all," Ianto assured him. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir," he stepped past Gwen and held out his hand politely.

Gwen rolled her eyes.

The Doctor looked from one to the other, but accepted the handshake gracefully. "So now what?" he asked of the Drollavan.

"Bungee cords," Ianto told him. He glanced over at Jack but didn't meet his gaze directly, "I think we can get it in the back if I rearrange a few things."

"And what… drive through Cardiff with an alien hanging out the boot?" The Doctor looked at the young man as if he was mad.

Ianto's smile remained the same, "You should have seen Jack strapping a pterodactyl to the roof."

"Oh dear."

"It should just take me a few minutes," Ianto promised, walking around to the back of the SUV. Gwen followed. She stood there watching, waiting for him to say something. He declined to meet her expectation.

"Ianto…" she finally tugged at his sleeve while he was trying to figure out exactly where to store the last of the field kits.

"Leave it, Gwen," he kept his voice low and cast another quick glance at Jack and his Doctor, who were having an animated discussion a few metres away. Wendy was in the front seat, pulling her clothes back on.

"But he…"

"Leave it."

"He can't do this to you!" she hissed angrily.

"I doubt he planned to run into the Doctor tonight."

Gwen crawled through the hatch and into the back so she could talk to Wendy without raising her voice, "What did he say, then, this Doctor?"

Wendy cleared her throat. She looked at Gwen then at Ianto and back again. She told them about the Doctor asking Jack if he fancied a little trip.

"I knew it."

"Gwen, for the last time leave it. Please." Ianto finally gave up and shoved the box in the back seat next to Gwen. "Find a place for that." He didn't mean to snap, he just couldn't help it.

"Everything all right over there, kids?" Jack called out to them.

"We're ready to load it in, I think," Ianto replied with a forced smile. He told himself that Jack wasn't going to leave him this time. He wouldn't. He couldn't.

He wasn't sure it was true, but he had to believe that more than loving him, more than his promise to never forget him, Jack wasn't going to abandon him again. He _wouldn't._ He _couldn't._

"All right, let's do this then," Jack shot Ianto a wry grin; the younger man ignored it. Jack ignored how much that hurt. There was no way to pull him aside and have a private conversation here; it would have to wait.


	24. More Werewolves, Weddings Plans and Time

**Chapter Twenty-Four: More Werewolves, Wedding Plans and Time Travellers**

* * *

As soon as they got the Drollavan settled, Jack asked Gwen to show the Doctor around the rest of the Hub, he had to take care of something in his office. Understanding perfectly, Gwen agreed without complaint.

Jack found Ianto in the bedroom, damp from a shower, with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. "Nice towel," he raised his eyebrows in a suggestive grin.

Ianto looked up, but barely spared him a smile.

Jack stood in the doorway, his hands tucked into his pockets while Ianto slid into those black jeans heloved so much… He knew Ianto had to see him in the mirror, but he seemed to be making a point of not looking at him.

"You ok?" Jack finally asked, when it became obvious that the first move really was on him.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're just…" Jack shrugged. He suspected that saying what he thought would be a mistake. "You seem a little distracted."

Ianto regarded him a moment before pulling the grey hoodie over his head. "I'm running late to Cheryl's stag and doe because four hours ago a large, hostile alien animal dropped through the rift into the middle of the subway. I think that entitles me to be little 'distracted', don't you?"

"I said you could go ahead and go... the rest of us could have handled that."

Ianto turned and faced him, "How was I supposed to go off to a party and leave the rest of you to deal with that? Even with Wendy there to help?" he reached into the closet for his trainers. "There are only five of us Jack. Bobby already had the night off – the first real night off he's had since he got here. I wasn't going to have you call him in so I could go off and… and have fun."

"I want you to have a life outside this place."

"I do. I'm off to go enjoy it now." His tone didn't give the other man the impression he expected to enjoy his night out.

Jack pushed himself off the doorframe and crossed the distance between them. As soon as Ianto stood up from tying his shoes, he gathered the resistant younger man into his arms.

"Jack, please, I'm running late. Besides, shouldn't you be upstairs entertaining your company?"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong. I'm really running late, that's all…" but when Jack kissed him, he returned it. He held on tight and kissed Jack passionately…desperately, as if he really thought it might be the last time he ever got to kiss him… he held the kiss as long as he could, until Jack finally pulled away from him.

When Jack looked at him, all he could see was the pain and uncertainty that haunted those beautiful Welsh eyes… "Talk to me, Ianto. Tell me what's wrong. Tell me how to fix it."

"Just… just promise me that when I get back you'll still be here," his voice was a hoarse whisper. "Please say you're not going to go running off with him again."

"I love _you_. Not him. I came back for you."

"But you do love him." Ianto countered.

The older man frowned, obviously hurt by the accusation. .

"I can see it in your face, Jack." _Just as clearly as I can see how oblivious he is to the effect he has on you. _"I told you. I make allowances. I don't mind that you love him and yes, I know you love me too," he freed a hand so he could brush some of the hair off of Jack's forehead. He kissed his lips, very softly. "I have faith in every promise you've ever made to me," he said. "But it would break my heart to come home and find you gone, even if you left a note this time," he managed a slight smile; Jack returned it. "But the part that frightens me the most is knowing that I would forgive you. Whether you turned up in seven days or seven months or seven _years_." He shrugged. "Or you could go off and leave me for a hundred years be back tomorrow, because that's how time travel works, right?"

"It doesn't matter because I'm _not_ leaving. I'll be here. Right here laying in that bed waiting for you when you come home." He leant forward and pressed his lips to the younger man's again. "Maybe you're right, maybe I do love him. Maybe I always will. But I love you more and I will _never_ leave you." He kissed him one more time before pulling away, a playful grin on his lips, "But you'd better get out of here now, before you find yourself tied to that bed, mister, because if that happens you're not going to make it to Cheryl's party at all."

Ianto kissed him again, hard enough to really test Jack's reslove, although that wasn't his intent.

The older man smiled at him again when their lips parted, "Come up and say good bye before you leave?"

"Or course…"

"Good. Because there's something I want you to hear," he gave one of those cocky little smiles as he turned and walked out of their bedroom.

………………………..

Ianto followed the hoots of laughter to the staff kitchen; the Doctor was sitting there with Jack, Gwen, and Wendy telling some story in which Jack was clearly the butt of several jokes involving bananas and sonic blasters. To his credit, Jack was taking being poked fun at with astounding grace. Ianto doubted that Jack would let anyone else get away with talking about him as if he were some errant school boy without at least getting irritated.

He leant in the doorway and listened, quietly smiling to himself as the story wound its way down with Jack and the Doctor looking at one another, grinning like a pair of fools asking "Are you my Mummy?" through snorts of laughter.

Finally Jack looked up and noticed him, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," Ianto flashed him a warm, affectionate smile. It deepened when Jack held his hand out to in, inviting Ianto to come over.

He moved to stand next to Jack's chair and Jack wrapped his arms around his waist; neither Gwen nor Wendy reacted, being used to displays of affection between the two in their 'off hours', but the Doctor was clearly surprised and raised an inquisitive eyebrow at Jack.

"I didn't get a chance to mention earlier," Jack returned the Time Lord's smile with one of his own. "Ianto here has been spending most of the last year proving _you_ wrong, Doctor."

Ianto and the Doctor both blinked in surprise.

"Really now?" The Doctor found his voice first.

"Remember?" Jack prompted him. "Something you said to me at the edge of the Universe…?"

The light dawned, "Ahhhh…. Yes. I seem to recall suggesting that you should go off and find yourself."

Jack's grin widened, "Because…?"

"Because no other man could possibly make you happy."

Ianto looked at the Doctor astounded that he would have said something like that to Jack (not that anyone who knew the Captain could deny he had a narcissistic streak as wide as the Themes.) "You _actually_ said that to him?"

"Yeah…well… " the Time Lord floundered, seemingly a little embarrassed.

Jack just laughed, taking it in good stride. "At the time I wouldn't have disagreed. In fact, I don't think I even tried," he grinned so broadly his dimples showed. His expression softened, however, as he looked up at Ianto. "But then I came home and found this fantastic – not to mention extremely gorgeous – Welshman waiting for me."

Ianto felt the blood rush to his cheeks.

"Good for you, both of you," The Doctor's smile was too broad to be anything but genuine.

It astonished Ianto that someone who was as oblivious as the Doctor obviously was to being loved as deeply as Jack loved him could turn around and be so genuinely happy at seeing two people in love. _How can he miss it when it's directed right at him…?_ He wondered. But he smiled in return, anyway, "I'm just glad you got him back to me in one piece, Doctor," he managed in a friendly tone.

The Time Lord laughed, "Not for lack of trying on Jack's part, I can tell you that," he said with a rueful smile.

Ianto chuckled, "I look forward to hearing the story. However…" he leant in towards Jack, kissing him softly, "I'd better go, I'm late as it is. See you when I get home?" he asked Jack in a quiet tone.

"Count on it," he cupped the younger man's cheek in one hand, drawing him in for a second, more sensual kiss. "I love you," he said softly, but not so softly that the rest of the room couldn't hear him.


	25. More Silly Drabble

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Guess Who**

**A/N:** _More silly drabble… I was just sitting here getting ready for bed myself wondering what exactly Jack would do with the Doctor over night… after this I should get back to the unfolding of events in Jack and Ianto's personal life... _

* * *

"Doctor? Doctor who?" Rhys asked when Gwen made the introductions.

The Doctor just grinned, "I appreciate you putting me up for the night."

"Well, it was either this or one of those awful sofas at the Hub," Gwen told him with a smile. "Wendy and Bobby are still in Ianto's flat… and since we moved into this place we've got the spare room." She glanced up at her husband. The spare room meant other things too… maybe. Some day. She still wasn't sure how she felt about trying to balance the possibility of motherhood and Torchwood. "Erm… I'd offer you a pair of Rhys's pyjamas, but I'm afraid you'd drown."

"I'm fine. Hardly sleep much at all, really."

"Like Jack then?" Gwen asked him as she headed into the kitchen to put the kettle on.

"No." He said it so sharply she turned around and looked at him. "I don't dance nearly as much as Jack does."

"Jack dances?" Rhys wondered.

"Oh, at every chance he gets. Nice place you've got. Nice view," he looked out the kitchen window and up at the stars. "I can almost see Drias II from here."

"What?" Rhys asked, peering out the window himself.

"Lovely little planet. Mind, I wouldn't drink the water if I were you. Extremely high sulphide content. Murder on humans."

Rhys looked questioningly over his shoulder at his wife.

"Well I said he was a friend of Jack's didn't I? Fancy a cup of tea, Doctor?"

"Don't mind if I do," he meandered around a little more.

"It's just the way you're talking," Rhys followed the Doctor into the living room, "You're talking like you're not human."

"I'm _not _human. Don't let it bother you, though, most of my best friends are human. In fact, I think all of my best friends are human," he said thoughtfully.

"You don't look alien."

"Rhys!" Gwen chided him.

"What? He doesn't."

The Doctor shrugged and ran his fingers over the collection of Agatha Christie novels on the bookshelf, smiling. He didn't say a word, but when he noticed the yo-yo, he picked it up, almost compulsively. "I used to love these things," he grinned a toothy grin.

"Some guy campaigning for office left it… " Rhys said. "You can have it if you like. I'm not voting for him anyway."

"Sugar and milk?" Gwen asked, of the tea.

"Yes, please," the Doctor returned to the kitchen, having put the yo-you in his pocket. He had a much better one in the TARDIS somewhere, probably in the pocket of his old coat, but he'd never been one to pass up a gift. "Thank you," he smiled at his hostess. "It's been a while since I've been a bone fide guest in someone's house."

"You're not going to grow tentacles or something weird and alien-y over night, are you?" Rhys asked suspiciously.

"Not the last time I checked, no. Are you always this mistrusting of aliens?"

"Well…"

"We don't have the best luck with aliens in Cardiff," Gwen sat down at the table, motioning for the Doctor to join her if he liked. She gave a glare up to her husband. "Most of the one we run into are either like the one from tonight or… well… worse."

"What did you run into tonight, then?" Rhys wanted to know.

"Nothing serious," Gwen assured him. "Really, Sweetheart. Not a scratch on me, honest."

He sighed and made himself a cup of tea. "Some days I hate your job." He joined them at the table, "What do you do, then?" he asked the Doctor.

"Oh… bit of everything, I s'pose. Travel mostly."

"Travel? Where?"

"Everywhere. Time. Space. There's a whole Universe out there. More than one, in fact."

Rhys blinked. "You mean Jack wasn't having one over on me with that whole time agency thing?"

The Doctor smiled, "No. But I can assure you I have better things to do with my time than be bothered with politics."

"Jack's never told us what the Time Agency really is," Gwen prompted.

The Doctor shrugged. "Not much to tell, really. They were a bit of a flash in the pan in the grand scheme of the universe. Mind, I wouldn't tell him that," he winked at Gwen.

She laughed, "So where are you from, then?"

"Doesn't matter… it's not there any more," he studied his tea a moment as if lost in thought.

"But if you can travel through time…?"

"It doesn't work quite that simply. Laws of paradox…crossing your own time line, that sort of thing. Did Jack ever tell you that he was a bit of a poster boy for the Time Agency…?" he asked then with a wry grin.


	26. Where the Heart is

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Where the Heart is**

**A/N:** _Just Jack and Ianto fluff with a little of our favourite pterodactyl thrown in for fun._

…………………………………………………………..

Ianto looked around the Hub, half expecting to find the Doctor curled up on a sofa sleeping… however the only person who greeted him when he walked in the cog door was Myfanwy. She surprised him by gliding down from her alcove and landing just a few feet from where he stood. She gave a quiet sort of squawk and tilted her head inquisitively in Ianto's direction.

"I don't have anything for you," he told her as the door rolled shut behind him. He realized he was whispering, which was silly really. The alarm had sounded the moment he walked through the hidden door of the tourist shop upstairs. _Jack must be asleep because if he were awake, he'd be out here already, _he mused, looking around the dimly lit Hub.

It always looked so different when it was empty. There were just a few emergency lights on and a night light at the coffee station, so that in the morning when Ianto got up to make the coffee, he didn't stumble over things in the dark. Most of the computer screens were dimmed in 'sleep' mode. And it was _quiet_. So much more quiet than when everyone was there. It was almost a little bit eerie…

Myfanwy hopped closer.

Ianto sighed, "All right, I've got some chocolate in my desk," he told her, although he was well aware that she didn't understand a word he was saying. Just the same, she cocked her head at the word 'chocolate'. Maybe it was the way some dogs could grasp basic things like 'walk', 'bath', and 'biscuit.'

As soon as he turned towards his desk, he saw the bouquet of pink roses and carnations with baby's breath, and in a proper vase, no less. He smiled. For someone who really wasn't much of a romantic, Jack could be so incredible at times…

The smile on the Welshman's face deepened when he picked up the card and read the simple message in Jack's handwriting:

_Don't forget to empty the bins…_

_XO__XO Jack_

'Don't forget to empty the bins' had become something of a running joke between, although it had earned Jack more than one dark glare from Gwen, who didn't understand what Jack was really saying when he said it. But Ianto knew and that's all that mattered.

Still smiling, he fished around in his drawer for the small stash of dark chocolate bars he kept there, well aware that the pterodactyl was still watching him. "Let's just hope you don't become like one of those squirrels people start feeding," he said over his shoulder at her. "You only do this with us, right?" he unwrapped the chocolate and she hopped a step closer. Ianto stepped away from his desk, aware of her wingspan and not wanting her to accidently knock anything over. Myfanwy followed him into a more open area, keeping one eye trained on the chocolate.

Ianto broke the bar in half and threw half of it out between them to see if she'd take it. She didn't even hesitate. "What did you make of him, then, Jack's Doctor?" Ianto asked aloud, "Right. Now I'm talking to a dinosaur." He chuckled and tossed the rest of chocolate bar to the floor and watched her snatch it up, gulping it back in one swallow. "Still, he's not really so bad, I suppose," Ianto mused aloud. "It might be nice to hear a few 'Jack' stories from someone else's point of view." He knew full well that Jack was going to hear plenty of 'Ianto' stories from Mam once she warmed up to him. "Of course Nerys's stories will be worse." He was grateful that Wendy didn't indulge in that sort story telling.

Instead of than flying off the way she usually did after having been fed anything, Myfanwy hopped a little closer, sticking out her head and crooning at him.

"All gone," Ianto held out his empty hands. "And I'm giving you any more," he added sternly.

She made another crooning of noise and hopped right up next to him like she had the last couple of times he'd given her her favourite treat.

"Assuming that's a thank you, you're quite welcome," he told her.

Standing there with a pterodactyl next to him, Ianto found himself thinking back over the conversations he'd had during the course of the evening with Cheryl and her friends.

It was all banal stuff, really. Cheryl worked at a bank. Two of her brides' maids worked with her. Another was a friend from University who worked as a receptionist, and the matron of honour was a mother already, married and doing a little temp work to help make ends meet. They and the other attendees of Cheryl's stag and doe (of which Ianto was the only stag) had chatted on about their jobs, their lives, their families… of course Nerys hadn't let it go unknown that Ianto was in a relationship with a 'dishy' American Captain. None of the girls seemed to care that he worked in a tourist office, they just wanted to swap boyfriend stories. In a lot of ways, it had been the most normal night out he could remember having in a long time.

"And it really shouldn't have surprised me that I was the only bloody 'stag' there," he told the pterodactyl as he stretched his hand out towards her. He was only a little surprised when she put her head up under it and let him stroke the top of it. This was the second time she'd allowed physical contact and if the soft little noises she was making were any indication, she seemed to be enjoying herself. "Unless it's the serotonin," he mused. "All right, I'm off to bed," he said, giving the top of her head a gentle pat. "And if I read any stories in the Sun about a dinosaur harassing farmers for chocolate, we're going to have to have a long talk," he warned her.

Myfanwy gave a little squawk and hopped back away from him before flapping back to her alcove. A pterodactyl taking flight from a standing position was a less than graceful thing.

He was surprised when he got down into their private quarters and realized that there was a lamp on in the bedroom. _Unless he dozed off reading._ It wouldn't be the first time.

But when Ianto crept into the now cheerfully decorated room, he found Jack awake in bed, book in hand.

"How come you didn't come up?" He asked. Even if Jack had known it was him, it wasn't like him not to come up and say hello.

"I wanted to keep my promise."

He smiled. Jack was right there. Waiting in bed for him when he got home. Just like he'd said he would be.

"What kept you?" Jack set the book down on the nightstand. It was something written in Russian, so Ianto hadn't a clue what the title was.

"Myfanwy."

"You're spoiling her."

Ianto shrugged; he kicked off his shoes and started to undress. "She's the last of her species left alive on this planet. You're not going to make me feel guilty about giving her a little chocolate once in a while, Cariad."

Jack chuckled; when Ianto started to crawl in next to him, he wrapped his arms around the younger man, bringing him in front of him instead, so Ianto's back was pressed up against his chest. Jack rested his head on his shoulder, "You have fun tonight?"

Ianto shrugged, "We went to a karaoke bar. They made me sing. I was the only guy. And I would have been home an awful lot sooner, but I had to drive Nerys because she got completely pissed. She could barely walk, so I had to help her into bed. Then Mam got up and wanted to make me a cup of tea, afraid that I was too drunk to drive."

"Were you?" Jack sounded concerned.

Ianto gave him a look over his shoulder, "You know I don't do that. I had two beers all night."

Jack pulled him close without admitting how much he worried sometimes.

"I realized something tonight," Ianto said then, in a quiet tone.

"Oh?" Jack kissed the side of his neck softly. "What's that?"

"I love you."

Jack stopped, "I thought you'd already realized that."

Ianto couldn't help but laugh at Jack's tone, "I don't just mean that I'm _in_ love with you, I mean I really, _really _love you," he pulled Jack's hands tighter around his waist. "I love this. I love going to bed next to you and waking up next to you… or at least your pillow," he glanced back at the older man again, smiling because Jack rarely stayed in bed for more than about four hours in a night unless he was completely exhausted. "I love the way you hold me and the life you've shown me, as completely mad as it can get around here. I even love coming home to a pterodactyl begging for chocolate. And I'm sorry about the way I acted earlier tonight," he added softly.

"It wasn't entirely your fault. He makes me feel… like a kid, I guess," Jack admitted. "I did, for maybe a second, think about saying yes when he invited me to take that trip with him tonight." He paused, waiting for a response. Ianto just nodded, settling further back into him. "But time we have here is too important to me. Your life is too short," he whispered the last as he kissed the younger man's neck some more. "I don't want to waste it."

Ianto swivelled in Jack's arms so that their bodies were pressed together and he gave him the same kind of kiss he'd given earlier because there really was no way of knowing which kiss would be their last…

……………………………………………………………

**A/N:**

_Flower meanings (Victorian era__) because I believe that Jack__** is**__ capable of romance, it's just lost on Ianto sometimes because he's so young… : _

Rose(pink) - Perfect happiness; please believe me

Carnation (pink) - I'll never forget you

Baby's Breath - Everlasting Love

Compliments of Pionerethinking dot com


	27. Errant Time Lords and Leaky Faucets

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Errant Time Lords, Leaky Faucets **

**A/N:** _Picking up where the last chapter left off… the morning of Cheryl's wedding…_ _still mostly fluff, a little family drama._

_Once again **HUGE** thank yous to those who have read and reviewed!f_

_Again, this is unbete'd so all mistakes are mine. _

…………………………………………………………..

Ianto was only a little surprised to find himself alone in bed when he woke up. He'd half expected to find Jack laying there, staring at him, waiting impatiently for him to wake up, like he usually did when they took a day off (or more usually just a morning off) together. He supposed Jack must've gotten restless waiting; it had been late when he got in from his night out with Cheryl and her friends, and even though he and his Captain hadn't done more than curl up together talking, it had been even later when they'd finally gotten to sleep.

It had started out with him about the Doctor. Jack rarely spoke of the the Time Lord, but Ianto had hoped to get him to open up a little now that he was here in Cardiff, and staying Gwen's no less. (Ianto's heart went out to Rhys). The story had ended up being more about Rose Tyler, the woman behind Jack's immortality, and how Jack had met her and the Doctor than about the Time Lord itself, but Ianto loved listening to Jack's stories. Listening to them while he was laying curled up in Jack's arms was even better.

Ianto could so easily picture Jack rushing to the rescue of a blond wearing tight jeans and a Union Jack t-shirt, dangling from a barrage balloon in the middle of an air raid during the Blitz.

What he couldn't picture was Jack as a con-man.

Last night had been the first time his Captain had truly laid out in plain, indisputable terms exact what he'd been doing on Earth, in London during the Second World War (the first time around.) After the Time Agency stole two years of his life, he'd packed up and spent the next five years of his life being 'an awful lot like John.'

According to Jack it was the Doctor who changed him. _But he couldn't have turned you into a better person if you weren't a decent person to begin with Cariad,_ Ianto had tried to tell Jack. Decent people still did bad things (although by all accounts, as far as Ianto was concerned Jack was still nothing like John, not if their first meeting with the other Time Agent was any example of _his_ idea of a scam.)

He'd never noticed Jack's self deprecation streak before last night. _And he still looks up to the Doctor, even now,_ Ianto realized. _Jack Harkness, guilty of hero-worship._ Ianto smiled and rolled over, contemplating whether or not he was ready to get out of bed.

By now Bobby was probably upstairs in the Hub. Jack had told Gwen and Wendy to come in late… unless Gwen had been in a hurry to get the Doctor away from Rhys. Or perhaps the other way around… maybe it was the Doctor he should be feeling sorry for…? Hmm….

At any rate, Ianto knew that if he went upstairs, even in jeans and a t-shirt, someone would beg him to make coffee.

Two weeks ago, Jack had made the rule that if Ianto wasn't dressed for work he was 'off duty' and shouldn't be asked for anything. But as much as the others honestly did try, it was impossible for the young Welshman to step into the Hub without being asked to make a pot of coffee or get something from the Archives.

He didn't mind nearly as much as his Captain seemed to. When he didn't want to be bothered, he either snuck out the back, Jack's little secret entrance that they'd brought the bed in through, or stayed in their room reading a book or watching a DVD on his laptop.

Since moving in, Ianto had more off-duty time than he'd had previously, mostly because he no longer had to come into work to spend time with the man he loved. If the Captain realized it, he kept the knowledge to himself.

The sound of heavy boots on ladder rungs made Ianto smile. He closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.

Presently Jack came into the bedroom. The usual warm spicy scent that the older man explained away as fifty-first century pheromones was accompanied by other smells. Coffee Bacon…? Something else… Ianto's best guess was fried eggs.

The bed sagged in a familiar weight next to him. Ianto felt Jack's warmth against his back and strong arms wrapped themselves around him making it difficult to continue pretending to be asleep.

"Morning," Jack said softly into the other man's ear. As soon as he saw the little younger man's lips twitch upwards in the faintest hint of a smile, he let his own lips wander onto that neck, kissing and gently nibbling… "I brought you breakfast," he said in between kisses. Ianto was easily the most gorgeous thing he'd ever had the pleasure of waking up next to, certainly more attractive than Jack knew himself to be first thing in the morning. "But you're going to have to sit up if you want to eat it," he added when Ianto didn't move.

"I don't get the impression eating is on your mind," Ianto rolled over, meeting Jack's lips with his own, his arms wrapped around the older man's neck.

The Captain gave him a lascivious grin, "Eating is very much on my mind."

Ianto blushed. He'd walked right into that one and he knew it.

Still smiling, Jack pulled away so Ianto could sit up. He reached over and brought the tray between them; on it was breakfast for two, including coffee still in the take-away cups from Starbucks, proof that Jack had not touched the coffee machine.

"How long have you been awake?" Ianto asked him, settling in to his breakfast.

"Not long. Bobby's in. So far it's a quiet morning."

"Was there any over night rift activity?"

Jack gave him a sharp look.

"Do I honestly have to get dressed _just_ to ask you if there was any rift activity last night?"

"I suppose I'll let it slide… I prefer you this way, anyway," Jack cast an appreciative look his way before digging into his breakfast. "There was a minor spike around two. I called Wendy and asked her to check it out on her way in."

"How's Gwen?"

Jack shrugged, "She hasn't called in. So unless the Doctor talked her into taking one of his 'little trips'…"

Ianto stopped mid-chew and swallowed before speaking, "He wouldn't… _she_ wouldn't…"

Jack reminded him about the way Gwen had ended up a Torchwood employee in the first place. "She saw something and had to find out what it was… what we were. What makes you think she wouldn't do the same thing with the Doctor?"

"But Rhys…" Ianto had the sudden image of Rhys and Gwen taking off into time and space… _Time and space would never be the same… _Ianto decided that it was definitely the Doctor he felt for; he could just see Rhys blundering his way through some alien planet upsetting the locals and causing an interplanetary incident. Of course with any luck that would be far in the future and_ not_ Ianto's problem…

Jack laughed, "I'm sure she would at least have called before disappearing on us, even if he did promise to have her 'back by tea,'" he said, and continued eating.

"Unlike some other people we know," Ianto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Nope."

…………………………………………………….

"So how exactly is it that you travel through time and space, but you don't have _any_ money?" Gwen asked her companion, as she dug through her wallet. She would have picked up the check anyway, she'd asked the Doctor out to breakfast so it was only polite for her to pay, but she couldn't fathom how someone could get by without money whatsoever.

He shrugged, "Never needed it, really."

"So you're an intergalactic freeloader, is it then?"

He chuckled, "If you like."

Gwen shook her head. After Rhys had finally gotten over the fact that the Doctor was an alien, the night had gone smoothly. They went to bed and left the Doctor up watching television and for his part, the Time Lord had proved to be lovely houseguest. He'd even fixed the disposal with that sonic thing of his when it went haywire again this morning, and quite cheerfully helped her clean up the mess it had made before he'd rushed in to see what the horrible noise was, yelling something about a Judoon at a karaoke bar…

"So… if you don't mind my asking," the Time Lord began, as they got up to leave, "I couldn't help but notice your t-shirt…?"

Gwen looked down at the shirt she'd pulled on this morning. It was from the Johnny Chess concert. The honest answer was that it was the only thing she had that was clean; she and Rhys had just moved into the new flat a couple of weeks ago and they were still in the process of sorting everything out. "Jack took us to the concert a couple of weeks ago. I've no idea how he got the tickets," she slung her purse over her shoulder, leaving the bill and money on the table for the waitress. "Ianto's sister in law had wanted to go and that's what started it."

"_Jack_ got the tickets?" he repeated carefully as if wanting to be absolutely certain he'd understood the story correctly.

"The concert was at the Minimum Centre… Torchwood must have some kind of connection I suppose. Funny thing though, he's never gotten us tickets for anything there before. Why do you ask?"

"He didn't say anything else about it, did he?"

"Jack never says anything about anything. Why?" She pressed, curious now.

"I think I may have to have a word with the good Captain," he held the door for her and they stepped out into the street.

Gwen gave him a questioning look.

"Having my hand in a jar is one thing, but _this_ takes stalking to a whole new level."

"Your what? That was _your_ hand…?" She looked down at his hands even though she knew perfectly well that he had two… unless he was supposed to have more…

"Don't worry, I don't go doing alien-y things like that all the time," he flashed a grin and held up his hand, wiggling his fingers. "It was just close enough to my regeneration… never mind," he waved it aside before even starting. "What next?" he asked as he slid into the passenger seat of her car.

"I should get into work…"

"Work? That sounds so boring. It's been ages since I've been in Cardiff… quite literally. I ran into Charles Dickens here."

"Get out… you did not!"

"I did too," he insisted. "Of course I hadn't actually meant to land in Cardiff… I think the rift must've interfered with the TARDIS control. Well… that and she's got a mind of her own, you know. Some days she just goes wherever she wants."

"You don't mean that literally too, do you?"

"Oh yeah. So what do you say we skip boring old work and you show me what's changed since the last time I was here?"

Gwen regarded the man -- the alien, she reminded herself -- sitting next to her. Then she looked out the car window at the gorgeous morning…

"It is a lovely day, isn't it?" the Doctor said. "Bit too nice to spend cooped up underground, don't you think?" he added with a wink.

Gwen giggled, she couldn't help it. And Jack _had_ asked her to 'look after' the Doctor, probably because of Ianto, but just the same, that made this sort of like an assignment and that meant it was technically work. _Not that I'll get overtime for taking him home with me… _"What would you like to see?"

He gave her a merry grin, "I don't know. Surprise me."

……………………………………………………………

"Oh, you're a saint!" Nerys greeted her brother. He and Jack had just pulled up in front of the house, Ianto in his own car and Jack behind the wheel of hers. "The pair of you," she added in Jack's direction.

"You wouldn't say that if you saw the way he drives," the younger man muttered not quite under his breath.

Jack handed Nerys back her keys, "It was my pleasure," he shot Ianto a brief look, but otherwise ignored his comment.

"Well don't just stand on the front lawn, come in and I'll put the kettle on," said Alice from just inside the front door. "Jack… good to see you again," she seemed to almost be able to make eye contact with him this time.

"Likewise," he smiled.

"We shouldn't stay long," said Ianto, as he held the door for Nerys and Jack. He followed them into the kitchen. It was less uncomfortable being in her house with Jack without his brothers here as well. "We still have to get ready…"

"How much time can a pair of men really need to get ready?" Alice cast him a glance over her shoulder.

Jack raised his eyebrows suggestively at Ianto but kept his response appropriate, "According to your son, I'm vain."

"You are," he gave the older man a look of gratitude, however, for not saying any of the myriad of things Jack could have said about what usually held them up when they were both in the bathroom at the same time. "Where's Remy?" he asked his sister.

"She's playing over at a friend's house."

Although he was unaware of it, his mother noticed the way he waited until both Nerys and Jack had seated themselves at the table before taking a seat. "Jack?" she asked, holding a cup. "Do you drink tea?"

"I acquired a taste for it when I first moved here."

"You never did mention what brought you to Wales," Nerys asked him, leaning forward a bit in her chair.

"Military posting, I was stationed in London," Jack tried to keep his answers as simple and truthful as possible.

"So what brought you to Cardiff, then?" Alice joined them at the table while the kettle heated on the stove.

"I was looking for the right Doctor," he flashed a brief smile at Ianto, who, to his credit, managed not to react. "Although I'm glad I came," he added in a tone that made the younger man smile.

Alice, however, gave him a steely look. "What exactly is wrong with you, then?"

Jack blinked. Even Nerys was giving him a dark look. He realized his glib comment had probably made them think of all the worst possible scenarios. However, before he could answer, Remy came bursting in the back door.

"Uncle Yan! I saw your car!"

"You didn't come home all by yourself, did you?"

"Was only two doors down," she crawled up into his lap. "Hi, Jack," she added, looking in the Captain's direction.

The kettle whistled.

……………………………………………………

"Jack, please be honest with me," Nerys said in a soft tone. When it had been mentioned that the sink upstairs was leaking again, Jack seized the opportunity to escape by offering to have a look at it, although it seemed to Nerys that he knew what he was doing at least. He was crouched down under the sink, examining the pipes.

"Would you turn the water on?" Jack asked her.

Nerys sighed but turned on the tap.

"Ok…!" he nearly yelped as water dripped down on his face.

"I told you it leaked."

He shot her a slight grimace and accepted the towel she offered him to dry off with.

Still ignoring her earlier question, Jack knelt back down under the sink, looking at the pipes a second time.

Nerys leant up against the wall across from him. "I like you, Jack. And I love you and Yan together, honestly, I do. I just want to know what's the matter with you."

He glanced up as he reached for a wrench, an unreadable expression on his face, "It's nothing."

"I'm not judging you or anything you might've done…" she spoke quickly at first, but then hesitated. "I'm just worried, that's all. Not just about Ianto," she added. "I'd like to think that you're going to be around for a long time… you make my brother so happy."

"He makes me happy too," he told her, his head still under the sink.

"Look. You're a man of what… thirty something? You're obviously intelligent, you _look_ fit… but you're working at a tourist shop for God's sake. There _must_ be something wrong with you, some reason you don't have a proper job."

"Maybe I like tourists."

"God damn it!" Nerys nudged his leg with her foot. "Stop being so bloody evasive and tell me what's wrong!"

"Nothing." He still didn't look up at her.

"Say that to my face."

Jack pulled himself out from under the sink and looked her square in the eye. "I'm _fine_. And for the record, I'm going to be around for a_ very_ long time." There was an almost angry sounding edge to his voice. He apologized for it. "Really, I'm fine," he repeated in a calmer tone. "There's _nothing_ you need to worry about."

She regarded him sceptically.

They both looked up at the sound of footsteps coming up the hall; Ianto appeared in the door with a mug of coffee, which earned the younger man a look of pure gratitude from Jack.

"We shouldn't stay much longer," Ianto said then. "We've still got to get the dry cleaning and I wanted to pick up a few things from Tesco on the way home."

Jack nodded, savouring the coffee a moment longer. "I'll just clean up here and we can go."

"Did you get it fixed?" he asked.

"Of course," he replied with such confidence that Ianto grinned.

"What am I ever going to do with you?" he said of the older man's cocky attitude.

Jack flashed a lascivious grin, "Oh, I can think of a few things," he said.

Nerys blushed bright pink…

Laughing, Jack finished his coffee and started cleaning up.


	28. Wedding Bells

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Wedding Bells**

* * *

After picking up their dry cleaning, Ianto headed to Tesco to get a few things they needed for the staff kitchen, as well as another ten pounds of mutton and a dozen dark chocolate bars.

"You're spoiling her," Jack told him again as they walked away from the meat counter.

"You're not going to make me feel guilty, Cariad," Ianto suddenly realized he'd just called him that without thinking and blushed a little, embarrassed. He didn't typically make any kind of public display of their relationship, even when they were out on their own time. Sure there had been Gwen's wedding (which he knew was going to be retconned from everyone's memory anyway) and the other day at lunch when Jack had leant in and kissed him and he thought he was going to melt on the spot because he loved it that Jack seemed so unafraid of what people thought… He knew that deep down he loved public displays, people holding hands, a shared kiss. But it never seemed to feel right when he was the one doing it, even when it had been with a girl and therefore perfectly socially acceptable.

This was the Tesco where they did_ all_ their grocery shopping. Half of the cashiers knew Jack by name because he flirted with them. It was some place that they would come back to because it was close to home and if anyone had heard what he just said… Ianto felt his cheeks growing warmer.

He glanced shyly in Jack's direction, half expecting to see a frown, or at least a little bit of a questioning grimace. But Jack just smiled and slid his body a little closer, so that for a few seconds all Ianto could smell were those pheromones… then he pulled back again, leaving the younger man wanting more.

"You did that on purpose," he muttered.

"Is it working?" Jack quipped back, raising his eyebrows.

"Maybe."

"Should I try again?"

"I really do have to pick up a few things for the kitchen, Jack."

The older man relented, but Ianto was sure that he wasn't imagining the affection he saw in Jack's eyes just then. "I love you," he said softly, before he lost his nerve.

"I love you too," Jack responded without hesitation, just loud enough that anyone standing near them could have heard.

Ianto gave him on of those soft, shy smiles, the ones that Jack loved so much, although Ianto himself remained oblivious to the fact. He held Jack's gaze a moment more before returning to the task of shopping. It was almost noon; the church was on the other side of Cardiff and they had to be there by one thirty for a two o'clock ceremony.

………………………………………………….

When they returned to the Hub and Ianto discovered that Gwen still hadn't checked in, he began to worry in earnest.

Jack called him a worry wort and went to take his shower, inviting Ianto to join him as soon as he'd put the groceries away.

"I'm sure she's fine, Sweetheart," Wendy said to the anxious look on Ianto's face. "Honestly, it's been a boring day so far." She was hunched over her keyboard, chin resting on one hand, reading some article online.

"What about the rift spike this morning?"

"Turned out to be nothing. I swear, there's nothing going on."

Ianto looked at Bobby who was lounging at his desk looking so much like Owen used to, physical appearance aside, that for a moment it was almost like Owen was really still there. _Not that Owen would have been browsing some men's fashion magazine… _

"What?" the blond Australian looked up when he realized Ianto was staring.

"Nothing. Sorry," Ianto turned back to Wendy. "Maybe you're right." After all, Gwen was an adult, she could handle herself and it wasn't as if the Doctor was _really_ going to whisk her off to parts unknown. He probably just wanted to go sight seeing or something.

He put away the groceries and headed for Jack's office and ultimately their private quarters, realizing he should be thankful that the most exciting thing that had happened was the Doctor showing up. The last thing he wanted was a repeat of Gwen's wedding….

Ianto was brought out of his thoughts by the sight of Jack, showered and dressed, coming out of the bathroom.

"Oh, Cariad," he breathed, completely unable to take his eyes off the man standing in front of him.

"Does the suit meet with your approval?" Jack queried with a smirk. For almost two weeks, Ianto had been stressing about what he was going to wear, refusing to believe that Jack had it under control.

"You look fantastic. Absolutely fantastic." He couldn't get over just how fantastic… the suit was black, of course, Ianto didn't think he could picture Jack in anything other than classic black, but the rest of it was something he hadn't expected at all. He had anticipated that Jack would go with a basic black suit and tie with a white shirt, which would certainly be acceptable, just a little boring. However, that wasn't the case.

The shirt Jack had on was a dark royal blue with subtle grey pin striping and the tie had horizontal stripes in varying widths of black, grey and royal blue. The blue seemed to catch the colour of his eyes, making them look even more intense than usual. And Ianto was aware that he was still staring.

Jack continued to flash that cocky little grin that might have annoyed the Welshman if he weren't so floored by the sight before him. It wasn't just the suit, it was the way Jack carried it off, with exactly the same confidence with which he wore his everyday wardrobe. It was the realization that this stunning, self-assured, bloody amazing man loved him… wanted _him_. Jack could have anybody, Ianto knew he could. But he wasn't with anybody, he was right here, just like he'd promised.

Jack crossed the distance between them. He kissed Ianto, filling his senses with his scent, making the younger man wish they had more time before they had to leave.

"You… you really look amazing, Jack. I mean it. _Really_ amazing."

"I'm glad you think so." He remembered Gwen's wedding and the colossal mistake he'd made that night. He remembered most of the conversation he and Ianto had had had afterwards. He remembered what he'd been trying to say and how afraid he'd been of the words he knew Ianto had wanted so badly to hear. The words he needed to hear.

He remembered the hurt look in the younger man's eyes when he refused to say what Ianto was asking him to. He'd kept trying to tell himself that it was for the best that they didn't get too involved. He knew now that he'd been wrong.

Jack cupped the Welshman's face in his hands, "I am _so _glad you're here." Life was too short and he'd wasted too much of it already. "I am so glad you didn't give up on me."

Ianto kissed him long and hard, pressing his body against Jack's, drawing him closer…

When they drew back from one another, Jack ran his fingers over the pendant around the younger man's neck. "You should get dressed," he said softly, "Unless of course you'd rather stay home…"

"Honest answer?"

"Your mother would kill you if we didn't show up. She might kill me too and wouldn't that be interesting to have to explain?"

Ianto chuckled softly, leaning in and giving Jack one more kiss before slipping out of his grasp. "I just need a few minutes."

………………………………………..

As they walked into the church, Jack offered the younger man his arm.

Ianto looked questioningly at him, but barely hesitated before slipping his arm into Jack's (although he was aware that his mother was watching them from across the room.) "You surprise me sometimes," he told his Captain quietly as they walked into the crowded reception area.

Jack smiled and nodded at Ianto's mother across the room, surveying the crowd. It looked like a wedding. Suits, dresses, people chatting… He kept his voice quiet so that only the man next to him could hear it. "I don't want anybody here to get the wrong idea."

"And that would be?"

"That you're available."

The young Welshman blinked, more surprised than ever. Jack merely smiled and moved them over to where Gavin and Trea were chatting with another couple while everyone waited to be called in to be seated for the ceremony.

"Ianto, Jack," Gavin held out his hand without any apparent reservation.

Ianto hated letting go of Jack but it was the only way to shake his brother's hand.

Gavin gave him a warm hug and then shook Jack's hand. "Good to see you again, mate," he said to the older man.

"Gavin," Jack returned the friendly smile; he rested his hand around Ianto's waist, aware of how nervous he really was. This was his family and that was still important to Ianto. He pulled the younger man protectively closer to him. It wasn't just weevils and Daleks he wanted to keep him safe from, it was whatever life threw at them.

"Jack," Gavin made the introductions, "This is Yvonne and her husband Rick – Yvonne's our cousin by Mam's brother Harold," he added, glancing in the direction of an older, balding gentlman in a brown suit and pink shirt, laughing uproariously on the other side of the room.

Jack cringed inwardly and tried to keep his attention focused on the people in front of him. Weddings brought out the worst in every family. "It's nice to meet you," he gave Yvonne and Rick the same sort of practiced smile he used on UNIT big wigs.

"Don't worry, there's a quiz afterwards," Yvonne teased as she held out her hand to Jack; he surprised the lot of them by kissing it in genteel fashion that was at least a hundred years out of date.

"I see what you mean, Yan. He_ is_ a doll."

"Oh really now?" Jack asked with a raised eyebrow. Ianto had turned bright pink.

"It was… nothing," the younger man stammered.

Jack couldn't help himself but laugh; he drew Ianto closer to him, though, keeping his hand securely around his Welshman's thin waist.

"Ianto had nothing but lovely things to say about you last night, Jack," Trea assured him, giving Yvonne an elbow and a wink.

"Darn, you girls didn't get _any_ good stories then," he grinned at the two ladies. "Remind me to correct that oversight later."

Yvonne and Trea giggled and looked at one another and then at Ianto.

"Next time maybe we'll invite you, then, Jack," said Yvonne.

"You wouldn't get me near it," Rick advised him. "When those hens start going… erm…" he glanced at Ianto a little uncomfortably. "Didn't mean you, mate. It's just when the girls…" he seemed aware that with each word he shoved his foot into his mouth a little further. As if to enforce it, Yvonne elbowed him in the ribs.

"Never mind him, he's an idiot in public," she teased her husband. "We love our Ianto just the way he is."

The Captain just smiled, "Me too."

"Oi, here comes trouble," Gavin nodded over Jack and Ianto's shoulders. "Cade," he added to his brother's questioning look.

Jack felt Ianto sag against him.

"They're going to start seating soon," Cade said, not looking directly at Ianto or Jack. "Mam says we should start heading upstairs."

"Cariad?" Ianto said intentionally to Jack, quite loud enough for the others around him to hear.

Jack shrugged, "It's up to you."

Ianto nodded and slipped out of Jack's grasp just a little; the older man released his hold on his waist but slid his hand down Ianto's arm until they were holding hands again.

"Smile!" Nerys appeared almost out of nowhere.

Ianto was glad of Jack's reflexes; he was suddenly pulled in tight again, just barely remembering to smile as the camera flashed in his eyes.

Nerys laughed, "You two look so good together," she said, despite the sour looks coming from her mother. She showed them the picture.

"We do, don't we?" Jack observed.

Ianto just laughed, "No, you mean to say _you_ look good," he teased.

"I am not vain!"

Jack's outburst only made Ianto laugh harder, "Yes you are. But I love you anyway."

Jack leant in and kissed the younger man's lips lightly. "I suppose as long as you love me," he sighed.

"_Always_."

"Don't you think that's enough?" Alice asked tersely. "I think the whole room is well aware that you're… together."

Ianto regarded her a moment. Next to him, Jack shrugged, "I thought weddings in this century were celebrations of being together."

"Jack's a bit of a history buff," Ianto explained to his sister, mother and oldest brother's slightly perplexed looks.

"Right. Sorry." Jack apologized, mostly to Ianto.

"I always did miserably in history," Nerys commented. "Never could remember all those dates."

"Really?" Jack asked in an earnest tone. "My dad was a historian. He's the one who got me interested in ancient history."

Ianto shot him a look that no one else understood, "Well I suppose I should be grateful," he said then, almost as an afterthought.

"Why's that?" Nerys queried.

Alice saved them from having to come up with an answer when she suggested that perhaps they ought to go up and find seats if they were all going to sit together. "Nerys, why don't you go get Deidre and the kids and let them know we're going up to get seated?"

She nodded and went off without argument. "Save me a seat," she winked at Ianto, her meaning clear. She wanted to sit with he and Jack.

…………………………

"What you said about your father…?" Ianto whispered softly as they ascended the steps up the main floor of the church. Jack so rarely spoke of the man.

He nodded. "He would have liked you, by the way. He wouldn't have liked my 'wild youth' much… but he would have liked you a lot."

"I'm sure I would have liked him too."

"You would have," Jack slid his arm back around Ianto's waist again.

"Are you always this… showy?" Alice leant over and asked him as they got to the top of the steps.

"Why shouldn't I be?" Jack replied in an earnest tone. "I'm here with the best looking man in the room."

Alice gave him a long hard look; next to her, Cade just scowled.

"I'm not saying you're difficult on the eyes, now," Jack added in the older brother's direction, which only caused Cade to frown harder. "It's just that he's cuter," he continued, smiling fondly in Ianto's direction. "Although I suppose I might be biased," he admitted.

Alice looked Jack up and down and up again, but seemed to be having a hard time finding fault with what she saw. There was nothing insincere in his tone or his manner.

As they took their seats, Nerys and Remy joined them; Deidre and the rest of the children were behind them. Despite Deidre's instructions to the youngsters to sit with their grandmother, Remy wiggled into the pew next to Jack.

"I think you have an admirer," Trea grinned over her shoulder at him from the pew in front where the rest of the children were being settled in. Deidre and Cade got in on the other side of the row of children.

"I like Jack," Remy informed her aunt.

Trea sniggered, "Let's hope your Uncle Yan isn't the jealous type," she winked.

He just smiled, "I make allowances."

"Really now?" Nerys shot both Ianto and Jack a look as she slid in next to her daughter; Dafydd slid in next to her, looking like he didn't want to be there.

The music cued and the church grew quiet.

As the flower girls started up the aisle and Remy leaned over Jack's lap, "Uncle Yan, when you get married can I be a flower girl?"

Ianto nearly choked.

Before the younger man could find his voice, Jack answered for him. "How about we discuss that _if_ I he asks me."

…………………………………………….

By the time dinner was winding down, Jack, like most of the other men in the reception hall, had shed his jacket. He had also rolled up his sleeves, not that Ianto minded. (He, of course, had not removed his jacket.)

As Cheryl and her husband took to the dance floor for their first dance together as a married couple, Jack slid his arm around Ianto's shoulders, causing the younger man to smile. Alice had given up looking uncomfortable with them.

Ianto leaned in close to Jack, "And not a Nostrovite in sight," he whispered in his ear.

"That's the thing with shapeshifters, though," Jack replied with a smirk. "They could be anybody." They both laughed, as quietly as they could.

"Some of his relatives could probably be aliens, you know," the younger man nodded over at one of the other tables.

"Should I check the room for alien life forms?" he touched his wrist strap.

"I suppose as long as they behave themselves…" Ianto grinned, taking his hand.

Jack drew him close and kissed his forehead. "I love your sense of humour."

"Glad somebody does," Ianto replied, earnestly.

The older man regarded him fondly for a very long moment. It might have lasted longer if Nerys hadn't felt compelled to take another photograph.

"Sorry," she apologized. "You two are just so… amazing together."

Ianto groaned. "_Please_ don't get him started, Ner."

Before either she or Jack could reply to that, the DJ called for all the couples in the room to please come up to the dance floor. Jack got to his feet and offered Ianto his hand.

"I think they only meant_ real_ couples," Cade said in their direction. Next to him, Deidre looked embarrassed.

"What makes a real couple then?" Nerys asked her brother.

"Well… you know…" he floundered.

"No." Jack told him, "I _don't _know," his tone was dangerously sharp. "Why don't you enlighten me."

"Jack… leave it," Ianto put his hand in the other man's; Jack allowed him to lead the way to the dance floor.

"He's starting to get on my nerves," Jack said quietly as they settled on a spot, well away from Cade and Deidre (who appeared to be having terse words.)

"I know," Ianto said softly. "I'm sorry."

Jack shook his head as if to clear it; he pulled the younger man's hand up to his chest, willing himself to relax. "It's not your fault," his tone was softer now. He rested his other hand on the small of the Welshman's back drawing him in close. As the music began, he moved them slowly in time with it.

Ianto relaxed in his arms; falling in step with Jack was so easy. He let his eyes slip shut a moment and rested his cheek against the other man's and he knew without looking that all of Jack's attention was on. him The breathed gently in tandem, one in and the other out…

"I would you know," he whispered into Jack's ear.

"Would what?"

Ianto kept his eyes closed, afraid that if he opened them, he'd lose the nerve to speak. "If I thought you'd say yes, I would ask you."

Jack almost faltered a step. He moved his head, coaxing Ianto to look at him. "What makes you think I wouldn't say yes?" he asked, once the Welshman had opened his eyes and met his gaze.

Ianto swallowed. "You said you'd never do it again," he reminded Jack quietly; then he flashed a little smile. "Besides. According to his birth certificate, Jack Harkness is what… seventy or eighty years old? Not to mention still missing in action and probably presumed dead."

"I suppose that would prove problematic," Jack was forced to admit.

"It's the thought that counts, though, right?" Ianto asked with a nervous smile.

"Yeah. It's the thought that counts." Jack pulled him closer again, so that Ianto's cheek was resting against his once more.

One sweet, slow song melted into another and Ianto leaned in. "Would you, though?" he asked. "Say yes, I mean. Not that I'm… you know… just curiosity and all."

"Yes."


	29. Captain Jack Harkness, Stalker

* * *

**A/N:**

**Thank you** for all the lovely reviews!! They are SO appreciated.

Before I can move forward w/ Jack and Ianto (and yes, Cade… although no, he's not going to get his head bit off by a galactic praying mantis, much as he deserves it), I have to finish off the Doctor story-arc (we'll be seeing him again, though, I think).

I've put notes on former Companions at the end of the chapter rather than here at the beginning. Read if you like, skip if you don't care… either way, I hope you enjoy.

**PS:** I will eventually write about Gwen's day with the Doctor... I just have to come up w/ something REALLY good for it and at the moment my mind is on Jack and Ianto.

* * *

As the cog door rolled back, admitting them into the Hub, Ianto stopped dead in his tracks, his brows furrowing in a deep frown. Standing there in the empty space between his desk and Gwen's was a big, blue, Mackenzie Trench-style police box, its paint cracked and weathered as if it had just come from some street corner (never mind that there weren't any police boxes in service any more.)

Next to him, Jack grinned broadly at the sight.

"I take it you know what this is about?" Ianto questioned.

Still grinning, Jack went up to the door and knocked. "Doctor? Are you in there?" he called.

_Doctor…?_ Ianto wondered. The Doctor. _His_ Doctor? _**This**_ was his ship…? It had to be, nothing else made sense (not that this necessarily made sense.) _Who would travel around time and space in a __Mackenzie Trench__ police box?_ Or a ship that looked like one at any rate.

The door opened. "Jack," the Doctor answered the Captain's toothy grin with one of his own. "Just the man I wanted to see. Ianto, you don't mind if I borrow your boyfriend for a moment do you? Good," before Ianto could respond, the Doctor yanked Jack inside by the collar. The door slammed shut.

Panic took hold of Ianto for a long, silent, terrible moment.

But nothing seemed to be happening. Or at least the police box remained where it was, not that Ianto had any idea what he was actually expecting it to do.

…………………………………………………………..

"Yes?" Jack queried when the Time Lord finally let him go.

"We need to talk."

"All right." Jack draped his suit jacket over the rail and leant against it, watching the Doctor; he was definitely not happy about something. However, it was late and he had plans that involved Ianto and bed but not a lot of sleeping, which made Jack equally unhappy at the moment, seeing as he was in here and Ianto was out there. "What exactly have I done _this_ time?"

"This time, I like that, very accurate," the Doctor muttered.

Jack shot him a look.

The Doctor returned it. "Johnny Chess," he said.

"What about him?"

"Playing dumb doesn't suit you, Captain."

Jack moved around to the other side of the railing, so it was no longer between he and the Doctor. He leant back against it, facing the other man. "I spent a long time waiting for you. When I got bored, I went looking instead of just sitting around, waiting. Loved the blond hair, by the way. The suit however… I mean, I know it was the nineteen eighties, but…" he let his voice trail off, grimacing, playfully.

The Doctor was clearly not amused. He glared balefully in the Captain's direction.

"I only saw that you once," he admitted. "Although it's a shame about paradoxes because as much as I hated the suit_ on_ you, it wouldn't have looked _great_ crumpled up at the foot of my bed," he favoured the Time Lord with a lascivious grin.

The Doctor cleared his throat.

"Sorry. Where was I?"

"Tegan and Johnny's wedding," the other man's tone was flat.

"Right. Wedding. I swear weddings bring out both the best and the worst in people, don't you think?"

"Jaaaaaack."

"I was there. I saw you. I knew you were you… well, either that or Tegan had a really eccentric Uncle who walked around with celery pinned to his lapel. What was up with that anyway?"

"Get on with it, Harkness."

Jack realized he was pushing the Time Lord too far. Even the best of friendships had their limits and he supposed he could understand why the Doctor was a little upset with him, given the circumstances. He shoved his hands in his pockets and met the other's gaze. "Yes, I was there looking for you, but I was also there making sure Tegan Jovanka would be all right. I had no idea who her husband was until I met his parents."

"What do you mean, 'be all right'?" The Doctor wanted to know.

"Dalek invasion, maybe?"

"That was over."

"How about Torchwood, then?" Jack asked him pointedly.

"_What?"_

"Think about it, Doctor. Torchwood has been around since 1879. Don't you think that at least one or two of your former Companions have ended up on their radar?"

The Doctor became visibly pale. "I never thought about it."

Jack bit his tongue on reminding the Time Lord that he didn't seem to think about anything when he abandoned them. It wasn't just him, he'd heard Sarah Jane's story and even if he liked to think of her as the exception rather than the rule, Jack knew from experience what it felt like to be the Companion left behind. "Sarah Jane, Jo and Liz had UNIT…"

"Liz… Elizabeth Shaw…. And Jo… Grant…?" The Doctor blinked. "And Sarah Jane Smith? You know them? You've _met_…?"

"Actually it's Jo Cummings, now, but yes, I've met them."

"What happened to… whatever his name was…" he waved his hands almost dismissively of the young man Jo had run off with (a young man who, he realized, wouldn't really be young any more.)

"Married. Divorced. Re-married." Jack shrugged. "They say over fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, you know."

"So exactly how close have you gotten to my former Companions, Jack?"

He smiled, "Liz designed the tranq gun I used to subdue our Drollavan friend the other night. She came down and helped us out for a while after… we lost a couple of people a few months ago."

"I'm sorry," the Doctor told him in a genuinely sincere tone.

"Me too," Jack studied a spot on the wall behind the Doctor's head for a moment before returning his gaze to the Time Lord's face.

"So how well did you say you knew Liz?" he pressed the earlier question.

Jack flashed a wry half-grin. "She turned me down flat," he assured the other man. "_Every_ time."

"Smart girl, Liz. I always knew she was brilliant. _And_ she has great taste in men. She thought _**I **_was dashing," the Doctor postured.

Jack chuckled at him, "And Ianto thinks_ I'm_ vain.

"You are."

Jack _humphed. _"And before you ask, I only met Jo in passing," he added, before the Doctor grilled him further on the subject of former Companions.

"For you that's all it takes."

He just shook his head and continued, "What I was getting at is that they had UNIT, so Torchwood wasn't going to mess with them. Tegan didn't have that protection."

"But how did you know about her?"

Jack shrugged, "Torchwood did. I have no idea how they put it together… although I suppose the Dalek invasion might have had something to do with it. You know they never knew you didn't always look the same," Jack told him, then. "I _never_ told them anything."

"You didn't even know."

"By the third time I'd seen you coming out of the TARDIS looking different than I remembered you, I'd figured it out, Doctor," Jack told him in a dry tone.

"Just how many times have you seen me?"

"Enough. Glad your fashion sense has improved… loved the scarf, though," he winked.

The Doctor gave him a long hard look. "Do you have_ any_ idea the kind of paradox you could have been caused if I'd seen you, even once, even just for a second, before we actually met?"

"Excuse me, former Time Agent, remember?" Jack responded in a sarcastic tone, pointing to his own chest. "I think I know just a little bit about temporal paradox."

"Forgive me if I don't have a lot of faith in your Time Agency, Jack."

"Yeah, well, me either. But the point is, I know how not to create a paradox and what can happen if you do. I was just looking for you. The right you. I wanted you to fix me."

"I am sorry about that," the Doctor told him in that same sincere tone he'd used a minute ago. "Some things just can't be undone."

"I didn't know that at the time. I just… I needed something to hang on to," Jack looked around the control room. He'd spent so many happy months here… and then it was all just gone. He'd been left behind and he didn't know why, what he'd done wrong or even why he was still alive. "Being able to talk to other people who'd been through what I'd been through… being able to help them… that gave me something to cling to when I started to doubt I'd ever see you again."

"You really helped, didn't you? Tegan…?"

"And Victoria."

"Victoria… ? Victoria Waterfield? But that was centuries ago!"

"Not for her."

"Wait… she was… she was barely nineteen years old when I left her…" the Doctor eyed him suspiciously.

"And I never touched her," he swore.

"Why not?"

"Because I knew you'd kill me."

The Doctor grinned, "Smart man."

Chuckling, Jack pushed himself off the banister. He came to stand next to the Doctor, but he didn't meet his gaze, he looked at the TARDIS console instead. "I told you I could be bigger on the inside than the outside, too." His tone was distant… thoughtful… as if he was lost in memory.

"You_ remember_ that?"

"It's one of the few things I remember from… before."

"Before? Before what?"

Jack ran his fingers gingerly, almost lovingly, along the smooth, warm control panel. She was as much the reason for his immortality as Rose was. "I remember snippets of conversations… feelings… hurt. Love. But sometimes I wonder just how much I lost."

"What happened?"

Jack turned and looked at him again, letting their gazes meet, wondering if the Time Lord saw anything there he hadn't seen before. "I'm about two thousand years older than I was the last time you saw me, Doctor."

"How?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

The Time Lord leant against the TARDIS console, his hands tucked into his pockets, and nodded.

……………………………………………

Ianto sat outside the police box waiting for what seemed like forever.

When he couldn't stand the wait any longer, he walked over to the coffee station and started a pot of Jack's industrial strength brew, hoping maybe the scent of it would draw the older man out of the box. That's when he heard the noise.

Myfanwy swooped down out of her alcove shrieking as Ianto ran back into the Hub, just in time to see the police box dematerialized.

Ianto stood, numbly staring into the space where it had been, unable to move or think or even breathe properly. He'd promised… _he promised and I __**believed**__ him… _

Trust… Jack had promised that he could be trusted…

The Welshman was only barely aware that the cup he'd been holding hit the floor with a loud crash, sending shards of glass everywhere.

And then he heard the noise again. The box reappeared in exactly the same spot it had been in before it vanished. Ianto still wasn't sure he was breathing… the door opened. Jack, looking exactly as he had a few minutes ago, popped his head out, "Would you grab the traq gun… Ianto? Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," he shook himself, suddenly aware that there was a broken mug at his feet. "What erm… the tranq gun, Sir?"

"I need to tranq our Drollavan friend so the Doctor can take it home. Can't very well have an angry Drollavan rampaging around the TARDIS after all," he flashed a broad half-grin that made his dimples show.

"Ah. Of course." Ianto composed himself behind the mask of professionalism while at the same time trying in vain to peer past Jack and see just what was beyond the door. He couldn't make out a thing, however.

"In this century, maybe?" Jack asked when the younger man didn't move.

"Sorry. Right. Shall I meet you downstairs or…?"

"I'll need to tranq it as soon as we materialize around it," his tone was annoyingly matter of fact, making Ianto feel as if he should have known that all along.

Although Ianto was terrified of turning his back on the box again, fearing it would vanish for good this time, Jack along with it, he went to the medical bay like Jack had asked him to. _Because even if he left me, I would forgive him._

When he returned a few moments later with the tranq gun and darts, not only was the box still there, but Jack was standing outside it, leaning up against it, his arms folded over his chest. He was smiling. "You didn't _really_ think I'd leave you, did you?"

"I… didn't know what to think," the younger man admitted, unable to look at Jack's eyes.

Jack pulled him close, tilting the younger man's face so he had no choice but to meet his gaze. "I will _never_ leave you, Ianto. I mean that," he pressed his lips to the younger man's.

Ianto yielded to him, pressing himself against him… "I'm sorry, Cariad," he whispered when their lips finally parted.

"Shhh… come on. I want you to see this. Oh yeah… and I'd like your help getting the rest of my stuff out of my room," he added with a wink.

"Your… what?" they were still talking about a box… right?

"My room. In the TARDIS. Come on," he pushed the door open with one hand, nodding for Ianto to go first.

………………………………………………………..

**A/N**

**Companions mentioned: **

**Tegan Jovanka – **travelled with the 4th and 5th Doctors; she left in 1984, after (yet another) Dalek attack on Earth. In some spin off materials, she is married to **Johnny Chesterton** (stage name: **Johnny Chess**), son of **Barbara Wright and Ian Chesterton, **companions of the 1st Doctor. (I haven't read all of the spin off material and its canonicity is debatable, so I'm just picking and choosing which bits I like. I _**DON'T **_like the story line that has Tegan having a nervous breakdown and thinking the Doctor was a delusion; although she left on tenuous terms, she's a strong, stubborn woman and not the sort, IMHO, to go mental. In my world, she and Johnny are still happily married… and this of course explains why Jack was so easily able to get tickets and back stage passes!)

**Jo Grant**** – **a companion of the 3rd Doctor; she was his assistant when he was stranded on Earth and working with UNIT, although eventually he got his TARDIS repaired and took her off to see the Universe for a bit. She left him to get married. Her divorce is also a part of spin off material.

**Liz Shaw**** – **Also a Companion of the 3rd Doctor, and obviously one of my favourites, since I brought her in here.

**Sarah Jane Smith**– a Companion of the 3rd and 4th Doctors; she has her own show now, the Sarah Jane Adventures. Looking forward to seeing her on the Doctor Who season finale. '-)

**Victoria Waterfield**** – **hopefully remembered from earlier chapters ;-) She was a Companion of the 2nd Doctor.

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Captain Jack Harkness, Stalker


	30. The Question

**Chapter**** Thirty : The Question**

**A/N:**

_Thank you again for the reviews! Yes, Cade will get his… but this work is at the mercy of the Muses and this is what they had to say today…_ ;-)

………………………………………………………………**.**

Ianto licked his lips as Jack guided him, blindfolded, down a flight of steps into a previously unused section of the Hub. He had one arm wrapped securely around Ianto's waist, the other was around his shoulders.

"Jack…?" the Welshman asked again. All Jack had said was that he had a 'birthday surprise' for him before producing the blindfold. The blindfold itself wasn't a surprise, it was one of Ianto's favourite items from the chest at the foot of their bed, which meant that he'd been caught entirely off guard when Jack led him out of the bedroom and up the ladder. "Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see. I've been working on this for almost two months, now," he added with an audible and very mischievous sounding grin.

The younger man swallowed nervously.

"Last step," Jack advised him when they got to the bottom of the flight of stairs. "We're going to go forward about twenty paces," he added, giving his neck a soft caress of his lips.

"And why am I blindfolded?"

"Because it was too big to wrap and I want this to be a surprise." Jack was sounding entirely too pleased with himself over this.

Helpless to do anything else, Ianto let himself be led down the corridor.

A door creaked open in front of him… "What is that?" He asked of the smell coming from inside. It was like… a florist shop…? Jack had done a few over-the-top romantic things with flowers before, but never in one of the basement rooms.

"Just another few steps and you can see for yourself," Jack promised; he sounded more than just pleased with himself. He was anxious. Happy. He held Ianto close as the door swung shut behind them. "Close your eyes."

"Jack…"

"For me?"

Ianto sighed and nodded to indicate that he'd keep his eyes shut. He couldn't stand it when a two thousand year old man started pouting at him, even if he couldn't actually see it.

Jack lifted the blindfold, warning the younger man not to peek.

"I do get to actually see my birthday present eventually, right?" he asked, grinning despite himself. Jack could be such a big kid sometimes.

"Yes. Now."

The Welshman blinked his eyes open. The room was dimly lit… candles he realized quickly enough… but as eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, his breath caught in his throat at the sight before him. He never would have suspected Jack capable of something like this.

The entire room had been converted into an indoor greenhouse with artificial lighting and rows large earth filled pots. Each one had a different kind of rose bush growing out of it, in full, beautiful bloom and every colour imaginable… and a few that Ianto had never seen before. He walked over to the bush nearest him, having to touch it to convince himself that it was real… but it was. It was real.

He leant in and smelled one of the flowers. The scent was amazing... so was the colour, an unearthly shade of blue. He walked over to the yellow roses… and the red ones… white… pink… peach…

He turned to the other man, "Jack…it's… it's _beautiful_."

Jack was smiling, that sweet, sincere, amazing smile that Ianto loved so much.

"How…?"

"I saw the way your face looked when you talked about your mother's rose bushes," the older man explained. He came up behind Ianto, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I can't give you a house and a yard… but I thought I could at least try for a garden. It's not all flowers," he added, taking him by the hand and turning him around to see what he'd put into the corner. He hit one of the controls on his wrist strap to bring up the light in this particular corner a little more.

Ianto leant over the plants to have a better look. "Pineapples?" he finally asked.

"It'll be over a year before they bear fruit," Jack shrugged, "But I know it's your favourite."

"Cariad… " he couldn't find any words to say everything he was feeling just then.

"I love you, too," Jack whispered, saying it for him. He leant forward.

"I have something for you," Ianto said quickly, before Jack got to his lips.

"But it's_ your_ birthday."

"I know. Will you wait here for a minute?"

"Sure. Can you find your way back all right?" he called as Ianto headed towards the door.

"I'll manage," he jogged out of the room and back up the stairs. He'd originally planned something else, a romantic dinner, maybe… maybe the roof, Jack liked roofs… but his Captain had just given him the most beautiful place in the world to do this in and suddenly the moment seemed perfect for it.

Both items were in his desk; it was the one place Jack_ didn't_ go snooping. Ianto retrieved them quickly and headed back downstairs.

Jack was still standing there in the dark, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Ianto handed him the envelope without a word.

Jack stared at it a moment. "What's this?"

"Open it up and see for yourself." He kept his tone carefully neutral, despite the fact that he was bursting.

Jack continued to frown. It was a plain white envelope. Inside it was a plain white sheet of paper folded over. "What's going on?" he demanded. What did Ianto have to say to him that he had to write it in a letter?

The younger man gave him an exasperated look, "You know, if you just looked at it, you'd find out."

Slowly, Jack unfolded the paper. He stared at it for several long, confused, moments. "It's a birth certificate."

"It's _your_ birth certificate. Erm. Well. Jack Harkness's birth certificate," Ianto shrugged.

Jack squinted at it in the dark. "The date's wrong."

"Sorry, I'm sticking with thirty five," he grinned. "It's official, too. You know what you always say about the age of computes," he added. "A few keystrokes and you can do just about anything you want."

"Ianto… what…?" he gave the younger man a perplexed look. "Why do I need a birth certificate?"

"I suppose you don't, really," he was still smiling, although clearly he was trying not to. "If you were lying to me."

"_What?" _

"I asked you if you'd really say yes, remember?" he realized his hands were shaking as he pulled the small box out of his pocket. He also realized he couldn't look at Jack's face because regardless of what the other man had said, he was still afraid that Jack might change his mind or that maybe he hadn't really meant it, he was caught up in the moment… weddings did that to people.

Ianto took a breath and let it out before speaking again. He made himself look up, too, but he couldn't read Jack's face, so it didn't really matter. "You said if I asked, you'd say yes. If that's true, you're going to need a birth certificate."

"Then I guess it's a good thing I've got one."


	31. Sleepless

**Chapter Thirty One : Sleepless**

**A/N: **_The second part of this is another one of those little drabbles that's been in my head for a while, waiting for the right place to creep in. The first bit is just more happy Jack/Ianto fluff ;-)_ _A "tissue alert" may be in order for part of it… _

……………………………………………………………………

Laying curled up against Jack's chest in their queen sized bed, Ianto felt a sense of security, a sense of happiness and warmth. He glanced up at the man sleeping next to him and smiled, snuggling in closer. It was rare for it to be him lying awake while Jack slept peacefully, in the darkness of their bedroom.

Tomorrow they would go down to the registrar's office and fill out the paperwork. The young Welshman had made a point of putting Jack in the system as a legal resident of the UK, using Jack's own story of being US Air Force Captain stationed in London and deciding to stay after a medical retirement as the base of his fictional history.

Jack's legal address of the past two years was Ianto's own flat and Ianto had amended the other man's drivers' license and other pertinent documentation as well. He was just relieved Jack had said yes. He'd done it all behind Jack's back, on the hope and assumption that he'd really meant what he'd said that day.

_At least this means if Nerys or someone else in my family decides to bloody Google him, they'll come up with something other than thin air._ Even Ianto's name came up on a Google search, as long as one knew that Ianto was short for Ifan; he never used Ianto online. He hadn't contributed much to cyberspace, but all it took was an online book review or e-list membership to become a blip on the Internet. _Even his Doctor has a 'fan club,' _Ianto mused. LIDNA. _**Only **_in London.

He ran his fingers lightly over Jack's left hand and the ring around his finger. He was careful not to wake him, but he needed to reassure himself that it was really there. Part of him kept expecting to wake up and find out that he'd dreamt the last… Ianto leaned over and glanced at the clock. Four hours. Almost exactly four hours in fact since Jack had said yes.

There were no clear cut social guidelines for partnerships like theirs (and that was assuming one didn't know half the details), but it had been important to him to offer his Captain more than just words. To him asking somebody to marry you, or enter into a civil partnership as the case happened to be, meant_ showing_ them you meant it. It meant a ring, in this case a simple platinum band with an infinity symbol engraved in the top of it, to match the pendant Jack had given him. The words engraved on the inside of the band, in English, were similar as well.

_I will love you for the rest of my life._ He couldn't promise Jack forever, but he could promise him the rest of his life.

"But I_ will_ love you forever," he swore to the other man quietly in the dark. He would never say that word when Jack was awake because he knew how it would hurt the other man, but that didn't make it any less true. "I will love you until the last star goes out, Cariad. I'll love you even after the sky is completely black and I'll be waiting there for you in the dark, forever, if I have to."

Jack murmured something incomprehensible in his sleep, but it didn't sound like the start of one of his nightmares, so Ianto remained relaxed, secure and happy. He pressed his lips lightly to Jack's skin and closed his eyes, but he still couldn't sleep.

He opened his eyes and looked at the clock again. Midnight.

There were one or two people who might be awake at this hour, but he and Jack had promised one another that they would tell the rest of the team together, so that meant there was no way Ianto could call Wendy. If he did, he'd spill the news and he knew it.

He untangled himself carefully from Jack so as not to wake him and slipped on his bathrobe. He padded softly into the next room, grabbed his mobile off the charger and headed up the ladder into Jack's office to call Nerys. Jack was a notoriously light sleeper.

She answered in only two rings, "Hello?"

"Hey," Ianto realized he was still whispering.

"Yan? You ok?"

"Yup, I just can't sleep. You want to go get a cup of coffee with me?"

"You can't sleep and you want to go out for coffee…?" she queried, an audible grin in her voice.

Ianto chuckled, "Ok, so maybe it's not the best plan in the world. You interested?"

"As long as you're picking up the tab. I officially have no money to my name. Oh yeah, and you're probably going to have to hear all about my shitty day."

"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes."

Ianto jotted a quick note for Jack… two in fact, one to leave on the bedside table and another to leave on the desk in case he missed the first one. Then went quietly back down the ladder and slid back into the same clothes he'd been wearing earlier… except for the socks. He could only find one. _Could be worse… _the last time they'd played hide and seek before bed, Ianto had been finding their clothing all over the Hub for a week.

Jack was still out cold when he kissed him goodbye. Ianto smiled a cocky little smile at that, too. It really wasn't very often that it was him wearing Jack out.

He used the lift up to the sidewalk so as not to set off the alarm. It meant a slightly longer walk to get to where he'd parked, but it was a nice night for it.

Two weeks ago, Ianto had traded in his sedan on a hybrid SUV. It wasn't nearly as big as the big black Torchwood SUV, but it was large enough to keep Jack from complaining every time they had to go somewhere 'incognito.'

Red hadn't been Ianto's first choice of colour, he agreed with Mam, it was bit flash. But he seriously hated it when Jack started to pout. Men with blue eyes shouldn't be able to get away with it, never mind that a man of his Captain's age shouldn't even try.

Still, the 'discussion' over colour had been the least of it. The day had been a repeat of the bed shopping incident, with Jack testing each vehicle for space to shag in and asking the sales girl about the sturdiness of the garment hooks with that look in his eye that left no question as to why he was wondering.

Ianto slid in behind the wheel and selected one of Jack's CD from the centre console… It was definitely a Glen Miller evening.

……………………………………………

When rounded the corner, bringing his mother's house into view, he realized that Nerys was on the porch, and she wasn't alone. Whoever she was with had her by the arm and was trying to pull her away from the front door.

Ianto pulled the SUV up into the drive and was on the other man before the other man even noticed.

Nerys screamed when Ianto struck her assailant, both fists clasped together, square in the middle of the back, without sparing the time to remember that this was a human, not a Weevil. The man staggered backwards, grunting in pain.

It was only when his face came into the circle of light from the porch-light that Ianto was recognized him as JP, Nerys's husband.

"What the Hell is going on?" Ianto demanded, his brain only barley registering the stench of alcohol on the other man's breath.

Nerys's looked more shaken up than hurt, at least, although she was pretty near hyperventilating. "Get in the house." Ianto told her, trying to sound calmer.

"Ianto…"

"_**Go,**__**"**_ he snapped. "I've got this."

JP made another grab at Nerys as she reached for the door knob. Ianto pushed him off the porch, following him onto the lawn. He ignored whatever Nerys was saying; he heard the door shut behind her, that's all that really mattered. "What're you doing here, JP?" he asked the other man. JP was bigger than him, but in his inebriated condition, Ianto knew he had the upper hand. He'd also hit the guy pretty hard a minute ago and he still seemed knocked off balance by it. He realized he'd hit the guy as hard as he'd normally hit a Weevil. "Go home, you're drunk."

"Stay out of it, little brother," JP swaggered coming towards him.

"You're drunk. Go home. Sleep it off," he repeated, hoping to avoid further confrontation.

"I'm not going anywhere with out my family!"

"Your family doesn't want you right now. Get out of here before you get hurt."

The other man sneered at him and swung – Ianto stepped out of the way, causing the other to stumble forward and hit the ground.

"Bloody idiot," he muttered; JP wasn't moving. He walked over to see if he'd knocked himself out on the concrete… "Come on. Up you go…" his words were cut off by a rock hit him square in the jaw, slicing open his skin and leaving a deep, painful bruise that went all the way down to the bone.

Ianto staggered back and saw that the rock wasn't the only thing the other man was holding; in his other hand he had a pocket knife. He eyed the distance between himself and the SUV. He always kept a stun gun in the glove compartment in case of emergencies. _And at the moment, I'd call this an emergency. _

When JP lunged at him a second time, Ianto dodged out of the way of the knife and caught JP's arm. He twisted and swivelled so JP's arm was pinned behind him, the blade wrenched out of his grasp. The man yelped.

"You really, _really_ shouldn't have done that," Ianto growled into his ear. He was only vaguely aware of Nerys and his mother watching him from the door. Fortunately what he was about to do next would be mostly obscured from their view.

Ianto grasped the back of the struggling man's head by the hair and slammed him against the passenger side of the SUV, near the open window. He pulled the arm that he had pinned behind the other's back up hard enough to cause extreme pain. JP stopped the struggling long enough for Ianto to get to the glove compartment. A moment later JP slumped to the ground, unconscious.

"That is really gonna hurt in the morning," he tossed the stun gun onto the passenger seat. "But you can't say I didn't warn you." He rested his hands on his hips and caught his breath a moment. He _still_ didn't understand the adrenaline rush that the others got in situations like this, for him it was just a matter of doing what needed to be done in the moment.

Nerys came running out the front door at same time as two uniformed officers came running up the walk. The officers got to him first.

"Oi, what's going on here?" the first officer demanded in an officious tone. "Turn around so we can see your face," he added. Ianto realized that rather than officious, he sounded nervous, quite possibly because of the way JP was slumped on the ground, not moving.

He turned slowly, only to find the beam of the officers' torch pointed directly into his eyes.

"He tried to break in," Nerys began explaining. "He's my ex husband… almost ex husband," she tried to explain. The officers looked immediately to Ianto. "No – _him!"_ she pointed at JP, still trying to figure out what had happened. One minute he was about to pummel Ianto, the next he was in some kind of an arm lock and then he was unconscious.

The second officer knelt down to check the unconscious man. After confirming that he was alive, he stood up and peered inside the vehicle.

Stun guns, Ianto knew well, looked an awful lot like real guns, especially to nervous young police officers. "Ner… why don't you go back up to the porch," he suggested calmly.

"What…?"

"That's a good idea miss," the second officer reached for her, but she jumped out of the way, glaring angrily at him.

"I don't understand… he attacked us…" she yelped. "Ianto was just…"

"We're going to finish this at the station," the officer cut her off.

"But…!"

"It doesn't matter who started it," the officer told her calmly. "You're not going to give us any trouble are you?" he said in Ianto's direction.

"No, Sir."

"But… you can't!" Nerys was in tears again, standing in between the police and her brother. "He didn't do anything wrong!"

"Nerys, calm down," Ianto told her. His mother had stepped out onto the porch as well.

The officers moved towards him, probably trying to get a handle on how they were going to get Nerys out of the way without injury to anybody on the scene. Ianto's glance flickered from his mother to Nerys and the officers; he realized he only had a couple of options left, and being arrested really wasn't high up on his list of things to do tonight. He did wonder briefly if it wouldn't be easier to have this discussion at the station… _but with my luck Nerys will get herself arrested as well._ After a quick glance in his sister's direction, Ianto turned to the officers and said the only thing he could. "Torchwood."

They looked at him sheer incredulousness on their faces. "That's a good one, mate…"

"Jones. Ianto Jones," he cut the man off, keeping his tone low enough that he doubted his mother could hear. "Authorization 578962. You can call it in if you want. Or you can let me get my ID out of the glove compartment."

They stared at him for another long moment before the first officer stepped away to radio in.

"Why would Torchwood be interested in a domestic disturbance?" the second asked, although clearly he wasn't convinced.

"She's my sister," Ianto looked at Nerys for the first time since blowing his 'cover.' Her expression was impossible to read. "I pulled up and found her husband attacking her. They're separated," he added.

The first officer finished up on the radio, "He checks. What do you want us to do with him?" he asked Ianto of the unconscious man at his feet.

"Just hold him over night. He'll wake up in a few hours, probably with a hangover. I'll come down in the morning to make a formal statement. Unless you need me for anything else…?"

"I guess… we'll take it from here," the second officer seemed a bit dazed by the reversal of the situation. Usually it was Torchwood taking over, not the other way around.

"Are you sure you don't want us to take you to hospital?" the first officer asked him before they left. "It looks like he got you pretty good in the face."

Ianto shook his head, "We'll handle that. Thanks."

He waited until they'd hauled JP away from his vehicle to lean in and put the stun gun back into the glove compartment. Then he pulled the keys out of the ignition. The parking job was for shit, but hopefully no one would care. His jaw was throbbing and Nerys seemed frozen to the spot next to him.

Ianto grabbed his mobile and dialed Gwen's number, aware that his mother was staring at him from the front door.

Gwen picked up in five rings.

"Sorry to wake you," he said instead of hello. "I just wanted to give you a heads up that I've had a run in with the local police… no, I'm fine. It was outside my Mam's house… Nerys's husband showed up drunk. No, really, I'm fine, Gwen… I'm going to call him now. Thanks… yup, see you in the morning." He hung up.

"Ianto?" Nerys finally found her voice.

"I don't work in a tourist office," he opted for the plain, simple truth. "I don't want Mam to know."

She blinked.

"JP was drunk. He knocked himself out on the pavement when he fell. The police took him in."

She stared gape-mouthed at him.

"Can you remember that?"

"Yes but… no one will ever believe…"

"Nerys, half of my job is coming up with convincing stories to cover up the truth."

"What's the other half?"

"You don't really want to know."

"And… Jack…?" she asked, as they started up towards the porch.

"He's my boss, just like I said before. Oh yeah, and I asked him to marry me, tonight," he added with a smile that made his whole face hurt. "I think I need an ice pack."


	32. Secrets

_**Thank you!! **__For the lovely reviews ;-) _

_I would have had this up sooner, but we lost power for a bit today. _

**Chapter Thirty ****Two : Secrets**

……………………………………………………………………

Mother and daughter leant back against the kitchen counter watching Jack fuss over Ianto.

He knelt down and eased the piece of meat away from the younger man's jaw, turning his face up to the light to get a better look. He winced in sympathy when he saw the deep black bruise and angry gash where the rock had caught him.

The beef had been Alice's idea. She said it would help the swelling and start the cut mending; all Ianto could think about was e-coli, but in that respect Jack and his mother had a lot in common. Once either of them had made up their minds about something, there was little to be done to dissuade them.

"I'm fine, really," he laid one hand on top of Jack's, trying to get him to listen.

"I've got a first aid kit upstairs," said Alice.

"He should really have that looked at by a doctor," Jack glanced up at her and then back at Ianto, his brows furrowed. Worry clouded his eyes.

Alice made a small _humphing_ sound, "Don't think I didn't try."

"It's nothing, I'm fine," the younger man insisted again. He hadn't wanted Jack to come out, but once he'd heard the story, there was no stopping him.

"You're not fine," Jack's tone was sharp.

"I've had worse and you know it."

"Mam," Nerys said then, "It's late. Why don't you go back to bed? I can get everything sorted out here."

Alice gave her daughter a look; this was the third time Nerys had tried to send her up to bed.

"It is late," Ianto agreed. "And I'm really all right."

The older woman sighed, looking from one to the other and back again. "All right. Don't stay up all night. And if you boys don't feel like driving home, Nerys can set you up in Ianto's old room."

Ianto blinked up at his mother, not quite believing he'd just heard her invite the pair of them to stay over and in the same room, no less.

"What?" She said to his incredulous look. "I said I didn't _understand_ it, not that I don't acknowledge it. Besides, you could probably do worse," she cast a half a smile in Jack's direction.

Ianto smiled… it hurt. he cleared his throat. "Mam… before you go to bed," he stood up and crossed the few feet between them nervously. "There erm…there's something I want to say." He reached back for Jack's hand but having it in his only bolstered his confidence a little. "There's something I… _we_," he cast a quick glance back at the older man, who nodded at him, "Something we have to tell you," he stammered, not quite meeting her gaze.

"What now?" she looked from one to the other and back again. "It's not like either of you can be pregnant…"

It was Jack's turn to almost choke. "Sorry. Swallowed funny," he forced a smile.

"We erm… that is…" Ianto floundered. "What I'm trying to say is…" he looked back at Jack again, silently pleading for help.

"He asked me to marry him," Jack slid his arms around the younger man's waist. "I said yes."

"Civil partnership," Ianto explained. "It's like marriage…"

"Believe it or not, I read the papers, Ianto," his mother said in a dry tone that was so much like the one he always used it made Jack smile.

"I just… I know this isn't what you wanted…" Ianto finally forced himself to look her in the eye. "But it's what I want. What we want," he pulled Jack's arms a little tighter around him, barely aware that he was holding his breath.

Alice regarded the couple for several long moments. Then her expression softened. "I am happy for you, Yan… you too," she nodded to Jack. "You seem good for each other. I really don't understand what makes one man fall in love with another, but I do know love when I see it. I see it," she shrugged. "I've given up trying to figure out what I did wrong," she reached out and laid her hand on top of Ianto's arms, which were still holding onto Jack tightly.

"You didn't do anything wrong," he told her, his emotions swelling up towards the surface. Her hurt… his need to be accepted… wanting her to love him… accept him… them… "Honestly, you didn't," his voice was a hoarse whisper.

"There's nothing… wrong…" Jack tried to explain.

"You two have me so mixed up I don't know what's wrong or right any more," Alice admitted, stubbornly wiping the trickle of moisture from her face, muttering something about dry air.

Ianto laughed despite everything going on inside; he grasped hold of her hand and held on tight.

"When I look at you all I see is two people who love each other," she went on, "And I know that's right. But then I see the way other people look at you and I just don't know…"

"Other people's opinions don't matter," Ianto told her.

Jack nodded, "He's right. Eventually… eventually people are going to figure out that… that it's all ok."

"Let's not get carried away," Alice gave him a sharp look, although it was tempered with a smile. "I think I'm going to need some time to get used to _this _before you try to sell me on some bohemian 'anything goes' philosophy."

Jack laughed, "Fair enough."

"Mam…?" Ianto asked her, although he couldn't quite get all the words out.

"If you're looking for my blessing, you've got it. Just don't expect your brother to be enthusiastic," she added.

"I'm not."

"All right. I'm off to bed. If you two do stay over, try to behave yourselves," she added in a light tone that almost made Ianto blush. He really wasn't sure when his mother had joined the twenty-first century. The woman he remembered from his childhood was stuck in the fifties. "Nerys," she added on her way out of the kitchen, "Get Jack the first aid kit. At the very least _he_ seems to have some sense," she added in her son's direction.

"Well that didn't go too badly," Ianto turned in Jack's arms so they were facing each other. Nerys had already headed up to the bathroom to get the kit.

Jack gave him a measured look. "As long as you don't count you getting your jaw sliced open and that little incident with the locals," his tone was dry and his expression told Ianto that the older man was not happy. "Oh yeah, and mentioning Torchwood in front of your sister. We are supposed to be a _secret_ organization."

Ianto swallowed; it was difficult to tell exactly how angry Jack really was. "Do you want me to… clean up…?" he asked, uncertainly.

"How many people would you have to retcon to accomplish that?"

"By now… half the police station."

"Right. That's what I thought too."

"Jack…"

The Captain shook his head. He freed one of his hands from around Ianto's waist and gently brushed it across the younger man's face. "I hope you realize that I'm mostly upset with you for getting yourself hurt."

Nerys came back into the kitchen, but carefully averted her eyes. Even she could see that Jack was upset.

"It's really not that bad, Jack," Ianto told him.

"Let me be the judge of that," he let go and motioned for him to sit. When Ianto hesitated, he fixed him with a stern look. "You have two choices: either you let me look at this here or I call Bobby and have him meet us at home."

Ianto sat.

"Better," Jack knelt down and began gingerly cleaning the wound with antiseptic. "Sorry," he apologized when Ianto winced.

"It's ok," the younger man assured him.

"Would you get us some ice?" Jack asked Nerys. She nodded and went to the freezer. "Has your husband been giving you problems?" he asked her then, as she was wrapping ice cubes into a towel.

"Not really. It's just… the divorce," she shrugged. "That's what I meant by my shitty day," she explained in Ianto's direction. "He's fighting me on it."

"What about Remy?" Ianto started to turn to face her, but Jack held his chin firm in his hands. He shot the older man an apologetic look.

"He's fighting me for custody, too."

Ianto clamped down on the urge to put JP in a cell full of angry Weevils… "If there's anything you need, all you have to do is ask."

"Do you know any good divorce attorneys? Preferably one who works cheap," she handed the ice pack to Jack and sat down in the chair next to her brother.

"Not really. But I can help you find one. And don't worry about paying for it."

"Ianto…"

"Nerys. I don't work for a tourist office, remember?" he told her again, glancing at Jack. It was impossible to tell what he was really thinking. "I earn considerably more than minimum wage..." he hissed in pain as Jack laid the ice pack against his bandaged skin. It had been a gentle touch, but the cold hurt.

"That'll help with the swelling," Jack told him. "How's the pain?"

"Manageable. Thanks."

Jack nodded, his expression still difficult to read. He stood up and laid a hand on Ianto's shoulder; Ianto looked up at him and smiled, carefully this time, as he reached up to take the older man's hand. Jack twined his fingers into his and leant in, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. "I hate it when you scare me," hesaid softly.

"I don't do it on purpose, Cariad."

Nerys's voice cut between them: "Ianto…? What exactly _is _Torchwood?"

Ianto glanced up at Jack again, but his Captain merely nodded.

"Torchwood is…" he faltered and cleared his throat starting again: "The Torchwood Institute was founded by Queen Victoria in 1879 to protect England from threats to the Crown. It took its name from the Torchwood Estate of Sir Robert MacLeish who gave his life to protect Her Majesty from an assassination attempt."

Nerys looked more confused than ever.

Jack cut in, "We still work to protect the Crown, but it's mostly from terrorist threats these days"

"In Cardiff?"

The Captain flashed her a half-grin, "You might be surprised."

"But you're American."

"What I said about deciding to move here after having been stationed in London is true. I like this country." He gave Ianto's hand a squeeze.

"So why say you work in a tourist office, then?" she looked from Jack to Ianto and then back again.

Jack shrugged, "That was his idea. I just went along with it."

"I didn't want Mam worrying," Ianto told his sister. "And I didn't want to have to explain why I couldn't talk about work. Working in a tourist office nobody really asks you what you do because they don't care."

"So what _do_ you do?"

"The less you know the better," said Jack. Only after he'd spoken did he realize how that sounded. "Nerys," he knelt down so he wasn't looming over her. "The work we do is classified," he tried to break out of his official tone and into something more conversational. "It's also dangerous."

"So you're what… like MI-5 or something?"

Jack made a face.

"Please don't get him started," Ianto begged his sister.

"Hey, it's not_ my_ fault they're a bunch of amateurs."

"Jack… please. You're not helping."

"Sorry."

"What he said is true, though," Ianto told his sister. "Not the bit about MI-5…" he added in Jack's direction.

"Yes it is," Jack grumbled.

Ianto shot him a look.

"How long have you been doing this?" Nerys wanted to know.

"I've been with Jack for two years. I mean…" he blushed.

"He mean's he's worked for me for two years," the older man amended.

Nerys looked at her brother and then at Jack again, "Why him? I mean… no offence," she added in her brother's direction. "But if I was to pick somebody to be some kind of spy or anti-terrorist agent or something, I wouldn't pick Ianto."

"He found me. I found him irresistible. So I gave him the job."

Ianto smiled at him, "No, you found _my coffee_ irresistible."

"Actually it was the suit," Jack quipped back with a smirk.

"I learn the truth at last…"

"But…" Nerys still seemed to want explanations, the kind that didn't involve coffee and suits.

"How I got into it doesn't matter," Ianto told her. "What matters is that it's what I do and nobody needs to know about it."

"But… Cade… if he had any idea…"

Ianto shook his head at her, "He doesn't matter. The world is so much bigger… _so_ much bigger. In a hundred years I doubt that anybody will even remember he existed," he cast a brief look at Jack that Nerys couldn't understand.

"Maybe two hundred," Jack winked back.

"We should get home," he suggested, getting to his feet.

"Are you sure you're all right to drive?" Nerys asked.

"I can answer that," said Jack. "We're staying the night."

"Jack, what about the SUV?"

"Right. That's some parking job," he teasted, "And you say I'm a lousy driver."

Ianto glared. "You know exactly what I was talking about, Jack Harkness."

The Captain chuckled, "I'll move yours. And mine."

"Where exactly are you going to move yours to?"

"What's so special about yours?" Nerys asked him.

Ianto groaned before Jack's mouth even opened.

"Well I'd offer to show you, but I think your brother here might have a problem with that," raised his eyebrows in Ianto's direction. "Although I can tell you one thing: It's bigger than his and I'm a _much _better drive," he said with the sort of tone that left no room to question what he was really talking about.

Nerys went wide-eyed, sputtering, unable to form any words while she was looking at Jack. Finally she glared at her brother. "Ianto!" she hissed.

"What? I didn't say it."

Laughing, Jack sauntered out of the kitchen.

"He just… he… he… he just said… he said… he was talking about… "

"Yup."

"Stop! Stop there. Not another word, Ianto Jones!"

Ianto opened his mouth to protest his innocence but decided to just give up and sat back down instead.

When Jack got back, he handed Ianto a couple of pills which the younger man took without question.

"What was that?" Nerys asked.

"Just something for the pain," Jack told her; he was still grinning. He noticed the way she had blushed the moment he set foot back in the room.

"We've got…" Nerys began.

Ianto shook his head, "These are better. Thanks," he added in Jack's direction.

"Come on, let's get you to bed," Jack offered his hand.

Ianto accepted.

Nerys gave them one last look as they vanished up the stairs…

…………………..……………………………

"So this is you old room…?" Jack meandered around it slowly, keeping his voice down because both Remy and Alice were asleep down the hall.

"Used to be," Ianto pulled back the blankets. "Mam's redecorated a bit."

"I really didn't think the mauve walls were your idea."

"Nothing wrong with mauve."

Jack chuckled and peeled off his coat.

"Are you sure about this… I mean… the Hub?"

"Will still be there in the morning. I called Wendy and asked her to come in early. If anything spikes over night, I'm tied into the central computer," he tapped the ever present wrist strap.

"Is there anything that can't do?"

"Lots of things," Jack moved in close, encircling the younger man's body with his arms. "But probably nothing you want a demonstratin of with your mother sleeping just down the hall," he favoured Ianto with a sly half-grin.

"We could be very, very quiet…"

"You? Quiet? That would be a change."

"Hey!" Ianto pulled back but was unable to get away.

Jack laughed and kissed him, very gently because of the jaw. "Tomorrow," he said, "We get Bobby to look at that," he kissed the bandaged wound even more gently than he'd kissed the younger man's lips. "In the meantime, that painkiller is going to kick in pretty soon, so you should get undressed while you still can."

"What did you give me?"

"Just the usual."

Ianto sighed. Jack was right, he tended to get a little loopy when they had to put him on heavy duty painkillers. "This is why you insisted on staying, isn't it?"

"Yes. I knew you were in pain."

Both men stripped down to their shorts and curled up under the sheets, Ianto resting the uninjured side of his head against Jack's chest once more. "Cariad?"

"Hmmm?"

"I am sorry about tonight. You know…" he shrugged.

Jack leant in and kissed the top of the younger man's forehead, "I'm glad you were here."

Ianto was surprised. "You are?"

"The little battles count too."

"I love you."

Jack wrapped his arms around the younger man and held him close. "Just one thing."

"What's that?"

"When you put the Weevil in his closet, I want to be there."

Ianto chuckled, "I don't think I'm actually going to put a Weevil in his closet. It is a nice thought though, isn't it?"

Jack leant forward and kissed the top of his head. "Get some sleep."

"What about you?"

"I think I'll just lay here and make sure you stay put."

Smiling, Ianto shut his eyes. Between honest exhaustion and the pain killer, he was asleep in no time….


	33. Breaking the News

**Chapter Thirty Three : ****Breaking the News **

**Once again, thank you everone so much for the wonderful reviews!! **I'm having such a good time writing this, I'm so glad others are enjoying it, too.

* * *

When Ianto woke, he found himself alone in bed, which wasn't a surprise. What was a surprise was that the clothing he'd been wearing last night had been laundered and was sitting neatly folded on the dresser across from the bed. He was certain that his mother hadn't snuck in while they were sleeping because acknowledging was one thing but… _But I still don't believe she invited us to stay over... _Maybe the Apocalypse was around the corner and it was time to start looking for those four men on horseback.

He sat up slowly and looked around the room, not quite sure what he was expecting to find. Jack's clothing was gone, along with Jack, the door was shut and his jaw was throbbing. A quick inspection in the dresser mirror revealed that it was still swollen and that half his jaw-line was severely discoloured.

But that wasn't the thing that scared him just then; Ianto felt mixed panic and relief when he heard Jack's voice, booming in laughter, peel through the house. It was accompanied by the softer sound of his mother's laugh… this was either very good or very, very bad because if he was telling one of his stories… there weren't too many of those that Ianto had heard that were fit for polite company.

He dressed quickly, but when he got to the kitchen, he stopped dead in his tracks. Mam and Jack were at the stove… Mam…_and _Jack…were at the stove…

His mother who never let anybody lift a finger in her house was letting Jack help her cook breakfast.

Not even Trea or Deidre had ever been allowed near the stove… he wasn't sure he could remember them ever staying over, either, come to think of it…

"Erm…" Ianto took in the scene, but he couldn't make his brain really accept it.

Looking around the rest of the room, he saw Nerys and Remi colouring at the table. His niece was still carrying around her pterodactyl, too. "Uncle Yan!" she looked up and bounded over to him for a hug. "You're awake!"

"I think so…"

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," Jack teased with a wry grin over one shoulder.

"Jack's making us American fries," Remi announced.

"American…?" Ianto stumbled over towards the stove and peered into the frying pan where what looked like a whole pound of potatoes were sizzling in butter.

"We told Remi about your trip and fall down the steps last night," Jack added with in a slightly more serious tone.

Ianto hesitated, but then understood. There was no need to tell Remi what had really happened.

"I still say they look like chips," Alice returned the conversation to the potatoes Jack was stirring around in the pan. She was minding another pan full of bacon and a pot of baked beans on the back burner.

"Basically they are like chips," Jack told her. He stepped away from the pan long enough to pour Ianto man a cup of coffee. "Don't worry, I didn't make it," he added with a grin.

"Thank God," Ianto muttered without thinking; the comment earned him a glare from his mother. "Sorry, Mam." He noticed Nerys's snigger and supposed he deserved it. Ianto invited the Remi to show him what she'd been colouring with her mother.

"Oh, don't you know?" Nerys gave her brother a wry smile, "Dinosaurs are all we're interested in any more."

Ianto sat at the table to inspect her work; he decided not to tell his niece that pterodactyls weren't really purple.

Jack moved over to the table and laid a hand on his shoulder, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm all right," Ianto smiled up at him; smiling hurt, but the look in Jack's blue eyes… he reached up and took his Captain's hand a moment, running his thumb over the ring on the older man's finger. _Perfectly all right, in fact…_

"We waited until you got up to spill the news," Nerys glanced from Ianto to Remi.

The child looked up. "What news?"

"I asked Jack to marry me yesterday."

"So do I get to be the flower girl?"

"We… haven't really sorted out the details… I mean…" Ianto began.

Jack knelt down to Remi's level, "_Of course_ you get to be the flower girl."

"Cariad…" the Welshman looked at him.

"Well what's to sort out?" Alice moved over towards the table as well, a fresh cup of coffee in her hands.

"Everything," her son told her. "We haven't even set a date..."

"I thought these things were just like any other weddings… have I been misled?"

"Well… they can be… or… well… we should really sort out the details," Ianto said, looking mostly at Jack.

"Ianto Jones, if you turn into a bridezilla…" Nerys teased him.

He glared at her, and at Jack, who was clearly enjoying this a little bit too much.

"I think the invitations should have pterodactyls on them," Remi declared, then.

Neither Alice nor her daughter understood why both Jack and Ianto suddenly started chuckling, despite their best efforts not to… both men assured Remi that it wasn't really her they were laughing at, and Jack even went so far to say that if they _did_ have pterodactyls, they would definitely be purple ones.

They were still recovering when Cameryn and Dillon ran into the kitchen, followed by Kae and Kendra and eventually an exhausted looking Deidre and Tarra who was in the middle of a tantrum. "Sorry," she said over the din. "Ianto… your face…" she frowned when she saw him.

"Had a bit of a stumble last night," he explained quickly as his mother took the screaming toddler from Deidre.

Before anyone could say another word, Remy broke the big news: "Guess what? Uncle Yan and Jack are getting married!"

Kae frowned, "Men don't get married to other men."

"Is that going to make you our Uncle Jack?" Kendra looked up at Jack quizzically.

"Well… I…." The Captain floundered, looking to both Ianto and Alice for a little direction. The former as no help and the latter simply had her hands too full to consider the matter.

The question, however, had already earned Kendra a glare from her older brother. "Don't be _stupid_, Kenny. They're not getting married, it's a joke."

"_Hey_," Ianto snapped at his nephew, "Don't call your sister stupid. And no, it's not a joke," he glanced up at Deidre who offered an apologetic smile.

"I think you owe Kenny an apology, Kae," Alice said to her son.

"But…"

Alice cut in, "Deidre, you're going to be late to your doctor's appointment, if you don't hurry… I'll sort this out," she cast a dark look in Kae's direction.

"I really appreciate you watching them. It's been a madhouse…congratulations," she added to Jack and Ianto before making her exit, telling her children to behave themselves and she'd see them all in a bit. Alice walked her to the front door, the screaming toddler in hand.

Remi looked up at Jack, "_Do_ we get to call you Uncle Jack now?"

"No," said Kae.

"Why not?" Cameryn asked her big brother, clearly confused by his attitude.

"Because…!"

"That's no answer!" Kendra argued.

"Enough!" Nerys raised her voice above the argument. She looked to Jack, since really it was his decision.

"Right," he nodded. "First, your mother's right, you owe your sister an apology, Kae" his tone was sharp. "Then we can discuss the rest of it."

The boy blinked a moment before quietly muttering 'sorry' at his sister.

"Second, no it's not a joke. And third… what you kids call me is really up to you," he glanced down at Remi, "But I would be honoured to be 'Uncle' Jack," he gave her a wink and genteel bow that made both she and Kendra giggle.

"Can Kenny be a flower girl too?" Remi wanted to know.

"I think your Uncle Ianto and I need to 'sort out' the details," he said, but when he leant in he said very quietly (although still loud enough for the adults to hear) that he would love for Kendra to be a flower girl too. Both girls giggled again.

………………………………………………………

After breakfast, the kids went out to play for a bit with their grandmother, while Jack and Ianto cleaned up. Nerys was upstairs getting dressed for a job interview.

Ianto glanced out the window; it looked like Kendra and Remi were practicing how to walk as flower girls.

Next to him, Jack was loading up the dishwasher, the perfect image of domesticity. If somebody had told Ianto two years ago that he'd ever see something like this, he would have called them a liar. Even with Jack laying underneath him, an unconscious pterodactyl next to them, he never would have imagined that life would take the turns it took to put him here, now, with this man… he finished up his coffee and rinsed out the mug as Jack straightened up. "Do you miss it?"

"Hmmm?"

Ianto nodded out the back window towards the children playing. Two years ago he hadn't know that once upon a time Jack Harkness had had a family… he still didn't know more than a handful of details.

Jack followed his gaze and smiled; it was a distant sort of smile. "That was a lifetime ago," his voice was soft. "Several, in fact." He dried his hands on one of the towels hanging by the sink.

"You must've been a fantastic father."

"Not really," Jack pulled the younger man into his arms and held him close.

Ianto regarded him a moment before asking Jack about his children.

"Laura and I had two girls. And… I had a son… before. Long time ago."

The younger man gave him a questioning look.

"I wasn't joking about having been pregnant, Ianto."

"How?"

Jack just grinned, "Why… you interested?"

"No!" he paled visibly, causing Jack to laugh harder.

"Come on… let's get home, get you looked at and take care of that errand before we end up with another Sontaran invasion or a Weevil emergency or something."

"You're not going to have to ask me twice… but… Jack… your children… Laura's, I mean… what ever happened to them?"

"I closed the book on that chapter of my life when she died."

The Welshman gave him another questioning look.

"They were young… her brother and his wife didn't seem to be able to have children of their own. It worked out. I honestly never should have married her," he added. "It was my fault she died."

"Jack…"

"I was still with Torchwood. I knew the risks… I ignored them. She paid the price." He shook his head as if to clear it.

"That doesn't make it your fault."

"It doesn't matter. After she died, I walked away from that life so that no one else would get hurt because of me."

"Don't you ever wonder what happened to your daughters?"

"I checked in on them a couple of times, but always from a distance. As far as they were concerned, I was dead, too."

"But you could have grandchildren… great grandchildren… "

"And what exactly would I say to them if we met?"

The hurt in Jack's voice wasn't lost on the younger man, "I'm sorry, Cariad. Sometimes… sometimes all I think about is… this part of your life," he hesitated. "I forget how much you must've walked away from already."

"This part of my life is _all _that matters right now," Jack leant in and kissed his lips, gently. "And I will _never_ walk away from you."

"Are you sure?"

"You know more about my life… my past… than anyone else ever has. I could never tell Laura about Torchwood. She just knew that I worked for the government," he explained, "Her family were military, so she understood that I could be called away for weeks… sometimes months… at a time," he shrugged. "I don't have to hide anything from you. And I never will. Not again, not after everything that's happened…"

"Shhh," Ianto leant up and pressed his lips to Jack's to silence that thought before it got out. Gray. John. Tosh and Owen… Jack still blamed himself.

"Oi! Do you two ever give it a rest?" Nerys teased, coming into the kitchen.

Ianto grinned up at her, then pressed his lips to Jack's again before answering, "Nope."

"Life is too short," Jack added.

……………………………………………………………..

"Ianto!" Gwen was on top of him as soon as the cog door rolled open.

"Sweetheart," Wendy was just behind him. "What happened?"

"Just a run in with my sister's husband," he explained, glancing back at Jack, who was clearly not going to come to the rescue.

Bobby came trotting up from the medical are, "Ouch. Hope you gave better than you got."

Ianto fixed him with a look.

The Australian laughed, "Come on, let's get that jaw x-rayed."

"Jack…" Ianto began, glancing at his watch. The registrar's office had been opened for an hour already and the later in the day one went, the more of a line there was likely to be.

"I know where it is. Go on. I'll be down in a minute."

"Where what is?" Gwen wanted to know.

Jack just flashed one of those mischievous grins and disappeared into is office. Ianto, efficient soul that he was, had assembled everything they'd need for the registrar's office into a file and left it on Jack's desk.

…………………………………………………….

"…. don't think it's going to leave much of a scar," Bobby was saying, when Jack got down to the medical bay; Gwen and Wendy were there, too, Gwen hovering, Wendy leaning up against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest. "But if it does, I'm acquainted with a very good cosmetic surgeon in the States," Bobby finished re-dressing the wound.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Ianto told him, looking relieved that Jack had finally returned.

"You don't want a scar," said Gwen, "You've such a lovely face, Ianto. You don't' want to spoil it."

Ianto just looked at her.

"I don't know," Jack teased him, "We could start calling him Scarface," Jack teased him.

"You're really not helping," the younger man flashed him a dour look. It only made Jack laugh.

He came over and leant up against the table, next to Ianto. "Ready?"

Gwen frowned. Wendy tilted her head a little, giving them a quizzical look.

Bobby glanced over his shoulder as he'd started to clean up from having patched Ianto's jaw back up.

Ianto looked at them, "We erm… we've a bit of an announcement."

Jack was grinning.

The younger man cleared his throat, "We… that is, Jack and I… we decided to… make it official."

"Make what official?" Bobby asked blinking dumbly.

Gwen hit the doctor's shoulder making him yelp, "What do you think!" she demanded; her face was practically splitting in two, she was grinning so hard. She threw her arms around Jack's neck as Bobby finally worked it out.

"Congratulations, guys," he smiled in their direction (not that much could be heard over Gwen's squeal of delight at the news.)

Wendy simply cast a shy smile in Ianto's direction, "Congratulations, Sweetheart," she told him, crossing the distance between them.

Ianto held her tight, "I don't know what exactly we're doing for a ceremony," he told her softly, "But would you be there, next to me?"

"Absolutely."

"We have to call Liz," Gwen said as she pulled away from Jack's neck, "And Martha. She'll never forgive you if you don't."

Jack laughed, "One thing at a time. First we have some paperwork to deal with… assuming you kids can keep this place under control for another hour or two?"

………………………………………………………..

Ianto made the calls while Jack drove. In addition to Martha and Liz, he telephoned Victoria, then he looked at Jack. "So… erm… how exactly does one get in touch with this Doctor of yours?" he asked, his tone uncertain.

"What?"

"Well… I just assumed…" Ianto shrugged, struggling to keep his tone neutral. "As near as I can figure, he seems to be your best friend."

"I… hadn't really thought about it," Jack admitted. "I guess I've known him longer than I've known anyone else… except… "

Ianto gave him a look. John. The less his name was said aloud, the better.

Jack eased the SUV into the parking lot. "I think Martha still knows how to find the Doctor."

"Right then," Ianto dialled her number again.

He laid a hand over the phone before he could finish the sequence. "Ianto…"

"He's your best friend, Jack. It would be wrong not to invite him."

"Are you sure you're ok with him coming back?" he asked. They'd parted on solid terms with Ianto seeming to like the Doctor, but that didn't mean he hadn't noticed the way the younger man had visibly relaxed when the TARDIS dematerialized for the last time.

"Yes. But... we really do have to set a date."

"Whenever you want. Whatever you want," Jack told him.

"Mam will probably push for a church."

"Wouldn't be the first time I've done it in a church," Jack raised his eyebrows, making the real meaning of that statement painfully obvious.

Ianto groaned, rolled his eyes and shook his head, causing the older man to laugh. "Let's just get the paperowrk started," he slid out of the SUV, as he finished dialing Martha's number.


	34. A Day to Remember

**A/N:**

**Ok, it's official… **I don't **HATE** what RTD is up to w/ Torchwood on Doctor Who (**no** spoilers in the next sentences, just a little tiny rant), but I don't _LIKE_ it, either. (Although Jack hitting on Sarah Jane _was _cute and no, I don't consider that a spoiler given our Captain's personality. ;-) I know that everyone is signed on for the next season of Torchwood but at the moment I'm not pleased. (Ok, loved the episode otherwise, just didn't like how RTD handled Torchwood so much.)

I looked up retcon online (or was researching something else and stumbled across it, amazed that it's a real word, or short for a real word, a genuine literary device, no less.) I suppose in that respect this story has become retcon heheheh ;-)

Ok, she's off her soap box. Hope you enjoy something _**considerably**_ happier than what appeared on television (or in my case youtube) this week.

…………………………………………………..

**Chapter ****Thirty Four: A Day to Remember**

…………………………………………………..

It was a perfect autumn day, not a single alien in sight; Jack smiled and took a deep breath, letting it out a moment later.

"Nervous?" Nerys asked him as they strolled, arm in arm, along the grounds outside the manor house. The ceremony was scheduled to begin in just over an hour, but Jack needed the air.

He shrugged. He was nervous, but not for the reasons Ianto's sister imagined. He hadn't slept last night; neither of them had, really. But there were worse things than curling up in a gorgeous hotel room with a gorgeous man in front of a crackling fire with old movies going on in the background…

_And still __no aliens in sight,_ he glanced up at the sky again. That also meant no Doctor, but the Time Lord had given him his word that he'd show up.

Jack would have felt better if he'd made it to the rehearsal dinner yesterday, but really, the man was over nine hundred years old, had fought Daleks and Cybermen and even the Loch Ness Monster… _so how hard is it going to be for him to hand over a ring on cue…? _It was just that Jack knew how there were moments when the Doctor had timing on par with Gwen's…. and she still refused to talk about her day out with the Time Lord. Although asking her about it invariably brought a smile to her face.

"Jack," Nerys drew his name into two syllables.

"Sorry. Did you say something?"

"I asked you where you found this place."

"Ianto booked it." It was one of those old country estates that had been turned into a bed and breakfast, but it was perfect for them in that the banquet room only sat a hundred and their guest list was fairly small. There were the dozen or so friends and fifty some odd members of the Jones family.

The grounds were stunning, even if Jack still didn't understand why people always insisted on doing these things out in the middle of no where.

"Well it's perfect," Nerys favoured him with a warm smile. "And so are you..."

"Well..." said a voice from behind them, "I think _perfect_ is a bit of a stretch…"

Jack whirled around to answer the familiar toothy grin with one of his own, "I was starting to get worried about you!" he grasped the Doctor into a warm (and very much relieved) hug. "You're almost late!"

"Me? Late? Captain Jack… I am never late," the Doctor continued grinning. "I've a time machine, you know."

Jack cleared his throat, "Doctor… this is Nerys, Ianto's sister. Nerys, the Doctor."

"Just… the Doctor…?" she queried, shooting perplexed looks from Jack to the tall, thin man standing next to him and back again.

The Doctor shrugged and extended his hand.

"It's nice to meet you… but I hope you've got a tuxedo hiding somewhere…?"

The Doctor chuckled, "I even had it cleaned. Poor old thing took quite a beating last Christmas," he winked at Jack. "Still… saved the world and had a nice little New Year's holiday on… hmm… you know, I don't think I celebrated New Year's. Missed it completely."

Jack sighed and shook his head. "Why don't we head back… have you run into anyone else yet?"

"Nah, I came to find you first."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," he fell into easy stride with Jack as they headed back towards the manor house, "What erm… what _exactly_ is a best man supposed to do? I've asked Donna but… well… I thought maybe you'd better explain it to me."

Nerys regarded him quizzically.

"I'll walk you through it," Jack promised. "We worked out the logistics last night. I'm going to walk up with Nerys so Ianto can walk up with Wendy."

"Where am I?"

"Already standing there waiting."

"Me? Waiting for you? Now that's a switch," he grinned.

"I always figured if I played my cards right, I'd get you waiting on me one of these days," Jack teased him. Then he explained how the Doctor would walk back down the aisle with both Wendy and Nerys, one on either side.

"Oooh, I like that," the Doctor teased right back, "I may have to get invited to more weddings. Mind you, I'm rubbish at weddings," he went on. "My own was a disaster... and Donna's," he made a face, "Not that that was actualy my fault."

"You looked to be doing all right at Tegan and Johnny's…"

"Wait a minute…" Nerys caught the names. "You don't mean…?"

"He's an old friend of the family's," Jack explained quickly.

"I'll say," said a new voice. It belonged to a slender woman of about forty something; she had short auburn hair, a distinct Australian accent and a bold, bright smile etched into a pixie like face. She stepped up to the Doctor. "Is that _really_ you?" She ran one hand lightly over his suit coat, taking him in as if he were a total stranger… or maybe her best friend, Nerys couldn't quite tell.

"Tegan Chesterton," his grin mirrored hers. They wrapped their arms around one another. "My God, you look beautiful!"

She laughed, "Same to you… I like this new look," she tussled his hair affectionately.

Jack grinned, raising his eyebrows at her, "What 'til you see the personality that goes with it," he warned. "He can be a cheeky as Hell."

"Oh really now?" Tegan regarded him anew. "And… Nerys, wasn't it?" she smiled at the woman standing with them, extending her hand, politely.

"You… yes. Hi. Again." Nerys floundered.

"Johnny's around here somewhere," Tegan continued, more in Jack and the Doctor's direction. "Ian would love to see you again," she said to the latter.

The Doctor almost took a step backwards… "He must be… eighty….? What about Barbara?"

"She died twelve years ago," Tegan told him.

"Oh… oh I'm so sorry. Jack… I'm really not sure this is a good idea," he said, not for the first time. Time went forwards, not back… once one said good-bye to someone… "The last time Ian saw me…" he shook his head, glancing briefly at Nerys, not wanting to say that it had been almost six centuries along his personal time line since he'd said goodbye to Ian and Barbara. When they'd parted company, _he'd_ been the old man; Ian hadn't been more than thirty.

Tegan took his hand, "Believe it or not, Doctor, we all still love you," she assured him gently. "Come on… let me take you over. And then we should get you changed, Mister, because you are not hanging around in that ratty suit all day."

"What do you mean 'we'?" The Doctor asked in an incredulous tone.

"Well you'd _better_ plan on showing me around the old girl again," Tegan informed him curtly. "Have you still got that room full of celery plants…? Nerys," she said as she hauled the Doctor off by the hand, "It was lovely to see you again. Jack… see you in a bit?"

He nodded. "I'm glad you kids were able to make it."

"We wouldn't have missed it if… if it was the end of the world. Again."

Jack laughed despite himself and took another deep breath. He was starting to feel a little more relaxed. The Doctor was here. A few guests had arrived. It was going to be all right.

And there were still no aliens to be seen, other than the one he'd invited.

"Jack?" Nerys queried.

"Hmmm?"

"Erm… I don't mean to pry… but what was all that about?"

"Nothing important. Just banter between old friends."

She fixed him with a long hard stare that for a moment made him nervous as he worked out a couple of possible stories wondering if any of them would hold water. Finally, Nerys said: "You never mentioned you _knew _Johnny Chess and his wife. You just said you could get tickets because you manage a tourist office."

Trying hard not to look relieved, he shrugged. "Like I said, old family friends. Come on, I should finish getting dressed and you should probably check in on Ianto." When Jack had left him several hours ago, he'd been a fidgety, nervous wreck. "Oh, and let him know the Doctor's here… he's spent the last two days convinced I'm going to need another best man."

She started towards the doors… then turned, "So…erm… this Doctor of yours… he mentioned his own wedding… does that mean he's not available?"

Jack stifled a laugh, "I know I had a heck of a time getting him to dance with me," he opened the door for her. "But you're welcome to give it a try."

"You… and him…?"

"I tried. He turned me down."

"Is there _anyone_ you don't hit on?" she asked.

"You have my word… you're off my dance list."

Nerys rolled her eyes. "I'm serious, Jack."

"So am I," he gave her a wry grin and headed towards the hall where the guests should be assembling to see who all had shown up…

……………………………………………………….

"You look _**so **__handsome_, Ianto," Alice watched her son fussing over himself in the mirror. "Your father would have loved to have seen this."

"I'm not so sure of _that_," his tone was dry as he regarded her reflection . He finished with his bowtie, finally satisfied that it was perfect. "But I wish he could be here," he added softly as his mother came to stand next to him.

"I'm sure he would have been proud of you, Yan."

"Mam…" Ianto faltered, turning to face her. "We both know that _nothing_ about my life is what either of you wanted for me."

"But you've done what _you_ wanted, that takes real courage," she handed him the jacket that went with his tux. "And anyway, you're still young. You've plenty of time to sort the rest of your life out."

Ianto clamped down the hurt those words caused him. It wasn't her fault he thought he was wasting his life away in a tourist office.

He eased the jacket on and surveyed himself in the mirror. Both he and Jack had opted for traditional black tuxedos, although Jack's was in a vintage cut which suited him so wonderfully. Ianto's tux was in a modern style. He had a white bowtie and waistcoat, Jack's were black. _And if Cade makes one more 'bride' crack, I really will deck him…_ Ianto tried to clamp down on that too. For the past two months Cade had been miserable. He and Jack nearly had come to blows at the family picnic two weeks ago… a part of Ianto wanted to see Jack pound his brother into the nearest wall (or do it himself), but it just wasn't worth it.

Alice pinned the boutonnière to his lapel, admiring the way he looked.

Both he had Jack had boutonnières of red roses. Simple, traditional. Nerys and Wendy would both be in red, with small white bouquets. Ianto had no idea what the Doctor would show up in, but Jack assured him that he'd seen a tuxedo in the Time Lord's closet once. After having been inside the TARDIS, he shuddered to think what else the man might have stashed way in there.

There was a tapping at the door, "Oi, Yan… you decent in there?" Nerys called.

"Yup. Come on in," Ianto went back to looking at himself in the mirror. No flecks of dust. No wrinkles. No dirt. Shoes were polished… he'd done Jack's too, because he knew Jack would forget.

"Oh sweetheart, you look fantastic," Nerys gave her brother's cheek a peck. "Jack says to tell you that this Doctor of his has shown up. Right peculiar fellow, too… but completely gorgeous!"

Ianto just shrugged, too afraid to ask her what he'd said to Nerys and definitely not wanting to contemplate his sister hitting on the Time Lord. Still, it could be worse, they'd managed to avoid John Hart's presence entirely. "You really ought to get changed, Ner," Ianto advised her.

"Honestly, you're a total bridezilla." she teased.

"I am not!"

She laughed and ducked out of the room.

"I should go and see how Kendra and Remi are coming along," Alice said. The girls would be in purple; it had been Remi's idea, since purple was her new favourite colour. But at least there were no purple dinosaurs on the invitations or anywhere else.

"All right," Ianto leant down and kissed her cheek. "But I wish I'd drawn the other straw," he said to her.

He and Jack had drawn straws to see which of them got to play the secluded partner and who got to mingle, in order to maintain the tradition of not seeing each other before the big moment… _but he cheats… he __**always**__ cheats…_ Jack had probably rigged it so he wouldn't have to be the one sitting around cooling his heels.

"It's a stupid tradition, anyway," Ianto continued, "I ironed his shirt this morning, it's not like I don't know what he's wearing."

Alice sighed, "The point is not to see each other all dressed up," she reminded her son. "As soon as I'm sure the girls are getting ready, I'll come back and keep you company."

"Thanks." There might not be pterodactyls on the invitations, but there were a whole flock of them in his stomach.

……………………………………………….

"Sarah Jane Smith," Jack smiled and nodded at the fifty-something brunette standing off to the side, sipping at a glass of wine.

"Captain Jack Harkness," she returned his smile. "Good to see you again."

"Likewise. And as lovely as ever, I might add," he said with a slight bow.

She smiled appreciatively.

"I've been following your work recently. Nice stuff."

"And I've been avoiding yours," she told him. "Still too many guns."

Jack just smiled; Sarah Jane's stance was about the same as the Doctor's when it came to weaponry. "Where's your son?" he asked then, scanning the room; there were about a dozen guests milling around so far, most of them Ianto's family. The loud uncle with the brown suit was regaling a knot of cousins with the same story he'd been telling at Cheryl's wedding.

"He seems to have made a new friend," Sarah Jane said of her son, Luke; she nodded towards where he and Barbara-Anne Chesterton, Tegan and Johnny's fifteen year old daughter, were standing (well away from the loud uncle). "Who knows, we could have a tradition on our hands."

Jack chuckled, "Who would have ever thought the Doctor would inadvertently turn into a matchmaker."

She gave him a warm smile and then asked if the Doctor was here.

"Tegan made off with him."

"Ah. Have you met Donna yet?"

He shook his head. "I haven't had the pleasure. You?"

Sarah Jane hooked her arm into Jack's, "I think you'll like her."

"Oh?"

"I get the impression she doesn't take his cheek. Or much of anything else."

He flashed a wry grin, broad enough to show his dimples, "Lead the way, Ms. Smith, I think this is one woman I have to meet."

………………………………………………………………….

_This could be it, I think I'm in love, It's love this time  
It just seems to fit, I think I'm in love, this love is mine_

_I can see you with me when I'm older, all my lonely night are finally over  
You took the weight of the world off my shoulders (the world just goes away)  
Oh, when you kiss me_

_I know you miss me-- and when you're with me  
The world just goes away, the way you hold me  
The way you show me that you adore me--oh, when you kiss me_

_You are the one, I think I'm in love  
Life has begun_

_I can see the two of us together, I know I'm gonna be with you forever  
Love couldn't be any better, oh, when you kiss me_

_I can see you with me when I'm older, all my lonely night are finally over  
You took the weight of the world off my shoulders (the world just goes away)  
Oh, when you kiss me_

_And when you kiss me I know you miss me  
Oh, the world just goes away when you kiss me_

_(Shania Twain)_

………………………………………………………………….

"With this ring, I give you my promise, my love, my pledge that I will be with you for all of my life," he slid the ring onto Jack's finger; it was the same ring the older man had been wearing for the last two months, but there was more engraving on the inside, now. _To love, to live, to remember, to love again._ It was something from Wendy, who said her people used it in their partnership ceremonies. He still didn't believe in reincarnation, but he knew that no matter what, he would love Jack forever. _Even when the last star goes out…_

Ianto looked into the amazing blue eyes of the man standing just inches in front of him and he realized he wasn't breathing but it was a very good sort of not breathing. He swallowed to clear his throat of the lump that had settled there and swore again that he wasn't going to cry.

"I will_ always_ love you, Cariad. Meeting you changed my life. You gave my life meaning again. You gave me a purpose. You made me whole." He swallowed back the tears again and took Jack's hands in his. "All that I am I give to you. All that I have, I share with you." It was a loosing battle with the tears.

"I love you," Jack whispered; he took the ring from the Doctor's hand and glanced at the hand full of their friends that had gathered along with Ianto's family on the perfect autumn day, a day without a single alien in sight.

Returning his gaze to the man in front of him, he cleared his throat, realizing that he was having a very hard time speaking, despite the fact that he'd rehearsed this very carefully all morning. "With this ring, I give you my promise, my love, and my pledge that I will be with you for the rest of your life. I will _never_ forget you," he slid the ring onto the younger man's finger, not even attempting to battle against emotions that made his eyes mist over. Some battles weren't worth the effort. "I will _never_ stop loving you, Ianto. You make my life worth living. That isn't something I say lightly," he glanced at the Doctor again and then Martha, sitting next to her fiance, Tom. Liz, Victoria and her husband Howard, Gwen and Rhys, Bobby, Sarah Jane and her son, Donna, even though they'd only just met he liked her… Wendy… Ian, Johnny and Tegan and their children… he felt a tug of sadness in his heart at the one person who was missing… Rose Tyler… these people were the closest thing he had to family and she was one of the most important members of that family and he missed her **_so _**much. But the Doctor was right, she was safe and that was all that mattered.

Ianto brushed a bit of moisture from Jack's face, "You're not helping, you know," he whispered.

Jack couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his throat; he held onto Ianto's hands tightly, "You… you make me happy in a way that no one else ever has. It's like finding something that you never knew was missing until suddenly it's in front of you… or on top of you," he grinned, remembering the pterodactyl incident.

Ianto chuckled, too. "God I wanted to kiss you so badly that night," he admitted, forgetting for a second where they were.

"Me too."

The officiant cleared her throat, although she was smiling, "We're almost to the good part, you know," her voice was so quiet only they could hear her.

Ianto blushed; Jack grinned. The next few minutes were a blur to the both of them, but then it was over but for the signing of the paperwork and surviving the reception…

...

**A/N:**

I'm afraid I have to plead ignorance on UK wedding laws, other than what I could find online... so if it seems like I fudged over the "offical" schpeels well... I did althoug "a blur" is about how I'd describe my own wedding, so... ;-)


	35. Now All We Have To Do is Survive the Rec

**Once again** my thanks for all the lovely reviews!

**A/N**:

This is either a good or a bad place to confess that I never intended any of this, Jack and Ianto getting married… it was truly just the Muses at work ;-) Thank you to everyone who has reviewed the last set of chapters especially. I guess you could say that they've really been for you guys!

…………………………………………………………

**Chapter Thirty Five: Now All We Have To Do is Survive the Reception… **

…………………………………………..………..

Jack leant against the courtyard wall, and closed his eyes a moment, reflecting on the last time he'd done this. It had been completely different in nearly every way… different music, different food, different customs, even though it had been held in Wales… well, some customs were the same, but Laura had been a lot less demanding about them.

After the ceremony, Jack had endured what seemed like an endless photography session, during which he was inclined to agree with Nerys's assessment of Ianto being a 'bridezilla', although the urge towards self preservation had prevented him from saying as much aloud. Thankfully, dinner had been uneventful, even with the Doctor sitting next to him at the head table. Donna's presence had probably helped. Jack definitely liked her.

Of course, he realized, the Time Lord had yet to deliver his best man speech. _That_ could get him into a lot of trouble and he knew it.

For the moment, however, he was contented to relax for a few minutes while the last of the guests finished up their meal and Ianto did the obligatory round with the relatives.

"You look_ absolutely_ fantastic, Jack," Martha sidled up to him, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Jack was quick to recover. "You're not so bad yourself, Dr. Jones," he leant in and kissed her cheek. "For a few minutes there, I was afraid you'd miss the ceremony," he added of her late arrival. She'd slid into place just as the ceremony began.

"I got tied up at work and had to take a later flight than I'd intended… but I managed to convince some nice military boys gave us a lift over," she grinned.

"Gotta love a man in a uniform," he winked. "I know I sure did. Every chance I got, too…"

"Oi, you're married now," Nerys teased, coming up behind him. "No more of that!"

"Married, not dead," Jack countered; his comment made Martha snicker.

"I'm Martha Jones," she held her hand out to the woman in red. "Jack and I go way back."

"And foreword," he teased.

Nerys ignored him, "Nerys… almost Jones again." She smiled. "Divorce… but it doesn't matter," she added before Martha could ask.

"Sometimes I think half the UK is called Jones," said Martha.

"It's going to be Milligan sometime soon, isn't it?" Jack asked her.

"New Year's Eve and you'd better be there," she told him. "But I'm thinking of sticking with Jones. What about you… are either of you changing your names?"

"You know… I have no idea," he leant back against the wall of the building and noticed that Ianto had been trapped by the brown suited uncle. "If you ladies will excuse me, I think I have to go play Knight in Shining Armour and rescue somebody," he winked at the pair of them and sauntered off.

…………………………...

Jack slid his arms around the younger man's waist, "I think they need us to go cut the cake," he whispered softly. Ianto sagged against him, clearly grateful for the rescue.

"Excuse us," Ianto said loudly, "He has a bad habit of turning down his hearing aid," he whispered at Jack.

"Why didn't you say so?" Jack grinned mischievously against the younger man's neck, moving his hands so he could roll up his sleeve a little. "I could have fixed that hours ago."

"Oh Jack…"

"Put your hands over my arm," he instructed quietly.

Ianto flashed an uncertain smile over his shoulder, but did as he was asked.

Jack directed his fingers gently, and very carefully surreptitiously, over the right button, "There… feel that? Little tiny nub…?"

"Yeah."

"Go ahead."

"You want me…?"

"I'd say you've earned the right to play with my wrist strap… what do you think?"

Ianto flushed bright pink; Jack chuckled. Ianto realized that that really was the status quo with them. With Jack's finger on top of his, he pressed down gently.

His uncle sputtered suddenly, shaking his head.

"We have to go cut the cake now," Ianto said in the tone he'd usually use with the half deaf man.

"Well you don't have to shout about it!"

The cousins chuckled; Ianto just smiled and rolled Jack's sleeve back down before anyone really noticed. "Excuse us," he nodded to the knot of his relatives. Before making their way back inside, however, he turned in Jack's arms and kissed him.

"What was that for?" he asked, kissing the younger man a second time.

"For being fantastic."

"Hmmm…." Jack smiled and kissed him again, "You're pretty fantastic yourself."

"I thought you said they were waiting on you to cut the cake," Yvonne teased the pair.

"What're they going to do," Jack winked at her, "Cut it without us?"

…………………………………………….

"Captain Jack Harkness," the Doctor stood next to him, regarding the man thoughtfully a moment. "This is not a day I thought I would ever see… and some of you out there know how hard it is to surprise me," he grinned over in the direction of the men and women who had travelled with him. "However… sometimes it's good to be surprised. Jack is truly a man who is bigger on the inside than on the outside. I am glad and grateful to call him a friend… and Mr. Jones," he nodded in Ianto's direction, "I am very glad to have been proven wrong. That's also not something you'll hear me say often," he winked at the young Welshman. "So enjoy the moment. Jack and Ianto, ladies and gentlemen," he raised his glass, "May they have many, many happy years together."

Jack stood up and put his arms around the other man, holding him tightly and whispering a very heartfelt thank you into the Time Lord's ear for not embarrassing him.

"Well… just because I said I was rubbish at weddings doesn't mean I do it on purpose," he winked and then extended his hand towards Ianto.

"Thank you, Doctor," Ianto told him quietly, a soft smile playing at his lips. "For everything… I really… I wouldn't have him if it weren't for you."

"Aaah, I can't take credit for that."

"Yes you can," Jack told him.

Wendy took the microphone from the Doctor with a smile to him. "My family have a saying. We say 'to love, to live, to remember and to love again.' To love through the ages. Sometimes it feels like I've known Ianto through the ages. He was barely seventeen when I brought him in out of the rain – quite literally," she added with a wry smile that made the young Welshman blush. "He was scared and lost and didn't know who he was. I take absolutely no credit for him finding himself," she glanced at Alice Jones briefly, flashing a tight smile. "I'm just happy to have been there. To still be here," she reached out and took his hand. "I wish for you both a love that is timeless… ageless… may you be together when the last star goes out… may you live, may you love, may you remember and love again and again and again and again… sorry," she apologized when the tears made it impossible to speak for a couple of moments. "Jack and Ianto… may your souls always recognize one another," she raised her glass in toast. "And may you know happiness always."

They leant in at the same time, lips meeting… Ianto sought out Jack's tongue first, though, drawing it deep into his mouth and giving the older man a good idea of what was in store later. Several long moments later when they parted, Ianto saw, but only barely noticed the look on his oldest brother's face, as Jack led him up to the dance floor for their first dance. He wondered briefly if Cade was the way he was not because Jack was a man, but if he just honestly couldn't stand to see someone else happy when he was clearly miserable… not that it mattered.

He and Jack moved in close to one another, each resting a hand on the small of the other's back, free hands curled up tight against Jack's chest.

"We made it," Ianto whispered into the older man's ear, as the music cued and Jack took the lead.

"Did you ever think we wouldn't?"

"Lots of times."

Jack moved his head so he could look at Ianto. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For being someone you doubted."

"Doesn't matter," Ianto laid his head against Jack's cheek, letting his eyes slide shut. "All that matters is right now. Right here. This moment."

Jack pulled him closer.

…………………………………….

"I'm just glad nobody needs to be the wedding faeries tonight," Gwen whispered to Rhys as they joined the rest of the couples on the dance floor.

"And no bloody aliens."

Gwen laughed softly, "I love you, you know."

"I love you too. Gwen Williams." He never seemed to tire of calling her that.

She smiled and glanced over at the Doctor who had been trapped for the song by Ianto's sister.

No one would quite understand why Jack and the Doctor and several other people found it so funny that she the _Time Warp_ later on… Cade would have his suspicions, of course, men in drag and all that, but he was completely off the mark.

………………………………….

Donna looked up in surprise when the Doctor offered his hand at the next slow song, "Miss Nobel? Would you care to dance?"

"With you?" she teased him. "Oh, why not…? I doubt I'll get anybody else anyway," she let him help her to her feet.

He escorted her to the dance floor, "I don't know… they say weddings are great places to meet people."

"Yeah, but this bunch?" She rolled her eyes glancing at a few of the relatives, "The only people I'd get caught dead with are you and your lot. What does that say about me?" She asked, suddenly seriously.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…" but before she could finish that thought, Jack and Ianto appeared.

"May we cut in," the Welshman asked cordially.

The Doctor shot Jack a look, "You've been waiting for this for a long time, haven't you Captain?"

"You have no idea…" but then, in move that surprised the Time Lord, he took Donna's hand and let Ianto take the Doctor's.

"Well… this is different…" the Doctor took a moment to find the right hold on the younger man. "Shall I lead or will you?"

"I can go either way," Ianto teased at him.

"Oh dear and you seemed like such a nice young man… he's corrupted you, hasn't he?"

Ianto chuckled, "No, I'd say I was corrupt long before I met Jack."

"Thanks, though," the Time Lord nodded towards Jack and Donna; she was clearly in a very pleasant state of shock, chattering away nervously at the Captain.

"My pleasure. Doctor…? Can… can I ask you a favour?"

"Of course."

"When erm… I know I'm not going to live forever… we both know it. I worry about him, you know. I don't want him to be alone… without friends around, I mean. Is there anyway you could be there for him… when he needs somebody?"

"I'll be there."

"Thank you."

"My pleasure."


	36. After the Honeymoon is Over

**Chapter ****Thirty Six: After the Honeymoon is Over**

**A/N: **Just a bit of silly fluff.

…………………………………………………………..

"Erm…" Jack held the_ thing_ up for Ianto to inspect. It was big and blue (with bits of yellow and pink) and misshapen. "What is it?"

The younger man tilted his head at the thing. They were stretched out on the bedroom floor in their pyjama bottoms and housecoats (Ianto in his slippers, his feet were always cold), going through the wedding gifts they'd received. If they hadn't already come across the Doctor's gift, Ianto would wonder if the thing Jack was holding wasn't some weird alien artefact. "Maybe you're holding it upside down?" he suggested.

Jack turned it the other way, but he didn't think it made any difference. He set it down next to the matched set of cherub statues. One was in a cherub in a bathtub, the other was a cherub reading a newspaper, sitting on the toilet. He put the thing in the middle of the other two. "What do you think… staff bathroom?" he suggested with a grin.

The younger man rolled his eyes and grumbled, "I told you we should have registered somewhere."

"I never had a problem with registering!" Jack protested.

"No. You just made it impossible for me to get through the experience." It had, in fact been worse than bed shopping and new car shopping put together. "Oh yes, and then there was that incident with the bug."

"That was _not_ my fault."

"That was entirely your fault," Ianto countered. "And it took me a week to get everything cleaned up. You could have at least helped."

"Cleaning up is your job."

The younger man snorted contemptuously, but went back to the notebook in his lap. There would be no winning the argument and he knew it. "Fine. Whose it from?"

Jack found the card that had accompanied the thing. "Harold…?" he squinted at the signature.

"Brown suit," Ianto clarified.

"Oh him," Jack grinned. "The hearing aid."

Ianto picked the thing up and examined it for himself. "I suppose it wouldn't have mattered if we'd registered or not," he said at last. "It's a fish."

"From what planet?"

"Earth."

"Couldn't prove it by me," Jack reached for the next box. "You know, when I married Laura, she and her mother did this."

"Would you really want my mother seeing what the Doctor gave us? Or maybe you'd like to be the one explaining to her exactly Marth's gave us that UNIT cap?"

Jack flashed a mischievous grin, "I wish we'd opened that one before we left for Paris." He also wondered what the Doctor was going on about when he started telling a story about the Mona Lisa being a fake… unfortunately by the time the he was telling the story, he'd already had one too many banana daiquiri… Jack would have to ask Donna later if Time Lords got hangovers the same way humans did, because if they did, the Doctor must've been in sore shape the next day.

He unwrapped the next gift and showed it to Ianto. "Another toaster. This one is from your cousin Maddy."

"Right. I'm sure Bobby will need a toaster when he finally gets around to finding his own flat. You can put it in his pile."

"I thought the idea of wedding presents was that _we_ were supposed to keep them ourselves."

"How many toasters do we really need, Jack? We hardly ever even eat at home, anyway."

"So why are you keeping both vacuums?" the Captain wanted to know.

"One for down here and one for the Hub. Unless you _really _want to be the one hauling the vacuum cleaner up and down the ladder for me every week. Besides, that one that I've got upstairs is… it's about as old as you are."

Jack _humphed_ at him. "The Hub doesn't have any rugs," he added.

Ianto's expression made it clear that he thought the answer was obvious, "The _sofas, _Jack."

The older man bit back on a comment that he was sure would get him in trouble and opened up the next box. "Oh look. A coffee maker."

Ianto scowled, "Who the Hell would get me a coffee maker?"

Jack laughed at the younger man's expression, despite the fact that his outburst only made him scowl harder. "Yvonne," he finally managed to say.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Right. Bobby's pile."

Jack looked at the piles they had going and asked again about the etiquette involved in re-gifting.

"It's only re-gifting if you wrap it up and say 'here, happy Christmas, I know you've always wanted one.' I intend to tell both Bobby and Gwen where everything came from. And it's not as if my family is ever going to be at either of their flats. Or here for that matter. And anyway, Gwen needs the toaster as much as Bobby does and that made… what four?" He looked over the list he was making so he could start in on the thank-you cards straight away.

Jack just sighed and reached for the last wrapped box. His mischievous grin turned into something more serious looking.

"What is it?" Ianto wanted to know.

Carefully, Jack pulled out the silver service set.

The Welshman scowled. "That's my great grandmother's… Mam gave that to Nerys when she got married."

"It looks like Nerys is giving it to you," he handed over the card that was addressed to Ianto, rather than to the 'happy couple' or some other variation there on, as most of the other cards had been. Even in their attempt to accept the situation, most of Ianto's relatives still hadn't quite known how to deal with details such as how to address cards to the new couple. Traditionally, wedding gifts got addressed to Mr. and Mrs. GroomsNameHere, so when faced with two grooms, most of them had opted for not using names.

Ianto opened the small envelope Jack had handed him and read the note, a lump forming in his throat.

"What is it?"

"She wants us to have it, seeing as her marriage has collapsed. Sorry," he apologized as he felt himself on the verge of tears. "This… it's over two hundred years old. My great grandmother got it as a wedding gift from her mother in law. Great grandmother gave it to her daughter, my grandmother… who gave it to my mother… then she gave it to Ner," he explained as Jack pulled out the pieces. "That's a hot chocolate pot," he said of the second pot that Jack set next to his leg. It was taller than the tea pot.

"I know."

"Right. Sorry. Sometimes I forget that you got here when every house probably had one."

He just smiled and held up the sugar bowl, "You probably don't want to know what I thought this was for."

Ianto chuckled, and took it from him. The sugar bowl came complete with six tongs for sugar cubes; Ianto could just about imagine what Jack had suggested using _those_ for… When he lifted the lid, he realized that there was something inside it.

"What's that?"

Ianto shrugged… when he unfolded the paper, he smiled and showed it to his partner. "Remi."

Jack grinned. It was a very six year old looking drawing of the two of them and a pterodactyl. "You know, I think she caught Myfanwy's likeness pretty good… what are you doing?" He asked. Ianto had gotten to his feet.

"What any respectable Uncle would do. I'm going to go upstairs and put this on the fridge."

Jack laughed. "Hey…" he called as Ianto retreated out of the room, "Would you make some coffee while you're up there?"

He leant back against the bed and closed his eyes, the image of Ianto's smile over the picture playing on his mind. Despite what Ianto had said about him, the young Welshman was the one who would have been a great father. _I only wish I could give you that…_ but with their lives, their job… this was no place for children and anyway, Jack knew from experience that he wasn't cut out for parenthood…

…………………………………………………...

**A/N: **In an old Tom Baker episode, there are a number of copies of the Mona Lisa, made by Di Vinci himself, which are "fakes"… the Doctor went back in time and scrawled "this is a fake" in magic marker across the canvas, leaving a note for his friend Leo to just go ahead and paint over the scribbling…

As always, reviews appreciated ;-)


	37. SPOILERS for Journey's End

**Chapter Thirty Seven: Aftermath **

* * *

**A/N:**

**SPOILERS!!**

Takes place after **Journey's End**… my version of it (which doesn't vary all that much from the original, it was just a matter of finishing what I'd started after I decided to "rewrite" The Stolen Earth.

This is just a short little wrap-up of loose ends… although personally, I would induce planet wide amnesia, but since that didn't happen… I think the assumption is that eventually people will go back to living their lives but in the immediate aftermath, folks are still picking up the pieces of their lives and that includes the members of Torchwood.

* * *

Alice Jones ran out of the house before Ianto was even out of the SUV. It was mere hours since things had returned to normal, since the earth had mysteriously (and spectacularly) returned home, hurtling through space by unknown means.

Ianto caught her up in his arms and held her close, "I'm all right, Mam," he whispered to her unintelligible sobs. "Shhh…. It's ok… Nerys…? Is she all right?" but even as he said his sister's name, he saw Nerys step out onto the porch, her six year old daughter in her arms. Ner had been crying recently… everyone probably had, he realized.

People from other houses were coming out onto their porches as well, or staring out their windows, as the other four people slid out of the big black SUV. (Martha was already on her way back to London to check in on her own family before reporting back to UNIT.)

"Is everyone all right?" Ianto asked his mother in a firm tone that he hoped would get her to calm down just enough so she could answer the question.

Alice nodded, wiping her cheeks even though the tears kept coming. Jack reached into his pocket and fished out a clean handkerchief, the kind that had fallen out of fashion at least three decades ago, and handed it to her.

"Only you," Alice smiled up at him, accepting the square of cloth and using it to wipe her eyes. It didn't do much good. "I was so worried about you… both of you," Alice gazed up at her son's partner, laying her hand on his arm and squeezing tight. "I tried calling. I tried _both _of you. I've been calling for hours." Her tone was plaintive, as if begging for some sort of explanation as she glanced from him to Ianto and back again.

"We erm… we were out of range," Ianto swallowed the lump in his throat. He realized that his mother must have thought that they were dead. He laid a hand on her shoulder. "We're all right, Mam. Is everyone… have you heard from my brothers?"

"Everyone's all right. The kids are all really shaken up, but everyone… nobody…" she cleared her throat, forcing the word 'died' away. "Can you stay a while?" She glanced at the three other people as if only noticing them for the first time. Wendy she knew and Bobby she had met at the wedding. The third was a stranger to her.

"This is Mickey Smith," Jack introduced him, "He's… do I _really_ have to call you a friend?"

"Watch it," Mickey gave him a dark look. His expression became more civil, however, when he turned his attention to Ianto's mother. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Jones," he pulled off his gloves before shaking her hand.

"Please… please, Alice is fine… can you come in?" she glanced up at Jack. "I could put the kettle on… make some sandwiches… Ianto?" she shifted her gaze to her son's face.

Ianto looked questioningly at Jack; he nodded. "We've got a few minutes... assuming you kids have nowhere you need to be?" he glanced at Bobby and Wendy.

"Sandwiches sound great," Bobby agreed. "Thanks, Alice," he added to Ianto's mother.

She smiled as if having them accept her invitation meant the world… at that very moment, it did because sandwiches and tea were normal and normal was something everyone was trying to cling to in the wake of the day's astronomical events.

As soon as they reached the porch, Ianto pulled his sister into his arms, "Are you two all right?"

Nerys just nodded into his shoulder, holding him one handed.

"Remi?" he asked his niece, as his mother shuffled the rest of them into the house. "Sweetheart, are you ok?" it wasn't like her to be so silent.

"I knew you weren't dead," she said, her voice a ghostly whisper.

Ianto took her from his sister's arms and held her tight, "No, no I'm not dead. I'm fine. We all are. It's all going to be ok now." He felt his own tears threatening to break free again. Driving here from where the TARDIS had landed, seeing the devastation, the celebrations in the street, listening to the news reports on the radio… skimming the internet… putting it all into prospective… "It's over," he told Remi firmly. "We're all going to be ok."

He wondered if this was what Jack had meant when he said that this was the century when it all changed… only Jack had been as unprepared for what had happened as the rest of them and surly something like the Earth being pulled out of its orbit was the sort of thing that would have made fifty-first century history books.

"Ianto… what happened today?" Nerys asked. Her tone was full of fear.

Looking into his sister's eyes, near carbon copies of his own, he suspected that she was as afraid of the truth as she was of not knowing it. "You don't want to know."

"_Yes I do,"_ her voice was a terse whisper.

Ianto pulled Remi tighter and motioned for his sister to have a seat on the porch with him. They sat down together on the stoop, Remi still clinging to his neck. He studied Nerys's face for a moment more before telling her, "The Earth was transported to some other part of the galaxy… or… I don't know, maybe it wasn't this galaxy. The Daleks pulled us and twenty six other planets out of time and space to form some kind of planet-powered super conductor."

She blinked.

"It doesn't matter…"

"Don't stop."

"Nerys…"

"I said _don't stop_," her tone was ragged. "If you know what happened…? If you _really_ know…" it seemed as if she was starting to understand some of the things that he wasn't explicitly saying.

Ianto sighed. He cradled his niece's head against his shoulder. She didn't seem to care about what they were saying, she just wanted to be held. "I really know, Nerys."

"Torchwood has nothing to do with terrorists, does it?" It wasn't really a question.

"No. No it is all about terrorists. It's just that most of them aren't human."

She gave him a long hard look. "How long… how long have you… known about… about…?" she didn't seem to be able to say the word aloud.

"Aliens?"

"Yeah."

Ianto took a deep breath and stared up at the sky. The beautiful blue sky. Clouds were rolling in fast, threatening rain, but it was still beautiful. He returned his gaze to his sister's face. "Lisa… Lisa didn't die in a fire, that was just a cover story. What happened at Canary Wharf was an invasion. Daleks and… and Cybermen."

"And you were there."

"I was there."

"Where were you today?"

"Up there," he nodded towards the sky. "With Jack."

Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to stifle the sob.

Ianto slid one arm around his sister's shoulders and pulled her in close. "It's not all aliens waiting to attack," he found himself using Jack's words. "There are amazing things out there…"

She looked up at him, a thousand questions in her eyes.

He shook his head, answering the most obvious, "Today was the first, and hopefully last, time I ever leave this planet."

"So how do you know it's not all… all… "

"Aliens waiting to attack?" he asked.

"Yeah. How do you know?"

Before he could answer, the front door opened up and Jack stepped out onto the porch. He knelt down behind Ianto's sister and laid a hand on her shoulder, "Trust me on this one," he said quietly.

Nerys looked over her shoulder at him.

Jack just winked.

Short of retconning the entire planet, there was no way of getting around the fact that the human race was now aware of their place in the Universe… he just hoped they were ready because _this_ had not been the history books.

In the distance, thunder rumbled.

"You kids should come inside," Jack said quietly, nodding up at the sky. "Weather patters are going to be screwed up for a while."

Ianto nodded, but before he stood up, he asked his sister if they could keep this conversation between them. He didn't want their brothers to know he did anything other than work in a tourist office.

"But why…?" she looked from her brother to Jack and back again. The latter just shrugged, making it clear that it was Ianto's call.

"What I do has nothing to do with them," the Welshman explained. "And I really don't care what they think of me."

She nodded, reluctantly.

"Remi?" Ianto said quietly to the child whose head was still resting on his shoulder. "Can you keep a secret?" he wasn't sure how much of the conversation she had understood, but he knew that kids were smarter than most adults gave them credit for.

She lifted her head and looked at him, questingly, still very, very quiet.

"If you can," Ianto cast a quick glance at Jack, who was probably going to have a fit over this, "I might be able to introduce you to a pterodactyl. But you'd have to be _very good_ at keeping secrets, first."


	38. Myfanwy SOME spoiles

**Chapter Thirty Eight: Myfanwy **

**A/N: **

**Contains some spoilers for Journey's End… **

_I have always been planning on Remi meeting Myfanwy, I just wasn't sure when or how. It seems to work here… Also trying to think about the world as a whole as well as Jack, who would have preferred, I'm sure, to just dump retcon into the water supply! _

_My take on it is that what happened in the DW finale wasn't in the history books from Jack's time because it was one of those "time is in flux" moments the Doctor talks about from time to time, otherwise Jack would have known it was coming._

* * *

Nerys looked at the address on the piece of paper her brother had given her and then at the address illuminated by the dull yellow bulb above the door a few paces ahead of them. They were the same. It just didn't seem like it could be right… it was really a tourist office.

"Mam…!" Remi pulled at her mother's hand. "Uncle Yan said nine o'clock," she nodded anxiously to the watch that her Uncle Ianto had given her for seventh birthday. It had a pterodactyl on it and glowed in the dark.

"All right…" pushing back her trepidation, Nerys walked up to the door of the tourist office and then walked in.

Ianto was leaning over the counter in a new navy blue suit with a lovely pink shirt, reading a magazine, looking slightly bored with his job. He glanced up when they came in and smiled, glancing at the clock on the wall. "Two minutes past nine," he winked at his niece. "I'm surprised you're so late."

"It's all Mam's fault," the child informed him curtly.

He chuckled and came from behind the counter to scoop her up into his arms. "How's my favourite girl?" he asked. He held her tight with one arm as he turned the sign on the tourist office door to 'closed' and locked the door, not that at nine o'clock at night it should be open, anyway.

"I'm ok. I think I still need help with math, though," Remi told him.

"All right. I'll try to come by next week and see if we can't get it sorted out. Maybe I can even convince Uncle Jack to come over too."

Remi grinned at the prospect. She truly adored Jack.

"Ianto…?" Nerys caught her brother's arm.

"Hmm?" He glanced at her over his shoulder, as he headed back behind the counter, Remi still in his arms.

"This is a tourist office."

"That_ is_ where I keep telling everybody I work, isn't it?"

"But it's _really_ a tourist office."

"You were expecting something else?"

"Well… erm…yes… I suppose…"

Ianto grinned at her, but when he spoke, it was to his niece. "Remember what I said about secrets, right?" he asked. So far she'd kept his secret for almost two months, which in his opinion was good enough for him to make good on his end of the bargain.

"Yup," Remi nodded.

"All right." He hit the button under the counter.

Nerys jumped as the wall slid open.

"That goes for you too, about secrets," Ianto added in his sister's direction.

She shot him a look. "Who would I tell and what would I say?"

"No one and nothing," his tone was firm. "That includes Cade." It _especially _included Cade. Ianto's eldest brother was the biggest blabber mouth he'd ever met.

"I told you I wouldn't tell anybody," Nerys promised again.

"Good. Oh, I almost forgot," Ianto reached into the desk drawer and pulled out a pair of dark chocolate bars. "One for you and one for Myfanwy."

"My…who?" Nerys asked.

"Can I, Uncle Yan?" Remi begged. "_Please_, can I?"

"I think it's a little late for chocolate…" Nerys began. Her daughter's amused giggle stopped her.

"Yes. You may." Ianto said to his niece, ignoring her mother's dark look. They weren't talking about the chocolate bars.

Remi grinned triumphantly, having just proven how good she was at keeping secrets. "Myfanwy is the pterodactyl's name," she told her mother in an authoritative tone. "She's a girl. Uncle Jack says so and he should know."

Ianto cleared his throat, feeling a slight rush of warmth coming into his cheeks. "Jack… Jack knows a girl when he sees one," he explained to his sister's incredulous look. "Species doesn't really matter."

"Erm… right."

"Come on," Ianto quickly changed the subject, leading the way into the service hallway behind the wall. "We don't usually bring visitors through this way," he added over his shoulder to his sister.

"How many visitors do you get?"

"The occasional UNIT liaison. Oh yeah, and Jack really wasn't kidding about the SAS being idiots, I just don't like to encourage him.".

"It's not nice to call people idiots," Remi told her uncle.

"How right you are," Ianto ushered them into the small lift and hit the 'up' arrow. "Which is why I try to discourage Uncle Jack from doing it."

Nerys looked nervous as the lift ascended. "Where are we going?"

"The roof."

They rode in silence for a few moments before she asked how this could even be here without anybody knowing about it. They were practically on top of Millennium Centre, one of the biggest tourist attractions in Cardiff, if not all of south Wales.

"Up until a few years ago, Torchwood was a lot bigger," Ianto explained. "London had over a thousand employees. I suspect they put up the funding on the Centre."

His sister blinked, but before she could process that thought, the door slid open.

Jack was already there waiting. "Took you guys long enough," he teased. Ianto had been on pins and needles for the last hour and a half, waiting. Watching him was the only thing that had kept the older man from being more upset about the whole affair.

The roof was their compromise. The Hub was no place for civilians, especially not a kid, but Ianto had made a promise and Jack wouldn't be the one to stand in his way of keeping it.

Nerys stepped out after her brother looking around nervously. Jack offered her his arm. "Are you all right?" he asked.

She slid her arm into his with a grateful smile. "Yeah. I'm just not very good with heights."

Jack pulled her closer, wrapping his arm snuggly around her shoulders while Ianto carried Remi over towards the edge of the building to show her the view of the bay.

"God, she's as fearless as he is," Nerys shook her head, watching him put her daughter down so she could stand right up against the ledge to look out at the harbour.

Jack just smiled; watching Ianto with his niece made him regret the things he could never give the younger man. Ianto would make _such_ a good father… Jack pulled his thoughts back to the present. "I set up the telescope, if you're interested," he offered to Nerys.

"He said you were into astronomy. Guess it makes sense, given what you do for a living, huh?" Nerys was still struggling to come to grips with what had happened the day the earth moved, literally. She'd joined a support group for people who were having a hard time coping; for the most part, it seemed like people were getting their lives back together, but for some it was harder than for others. Most of the people in her group had lost someone that day, although worldwide the death toll was a lot less than it would have been if it had been a true invasion. Jack doubted that knowing that would bring Nerys any peace of mind, however.

"I got into it as a kid," he told her honestly, guiding her over to where he'd set up the telescope. It was a proper telescope, not the spy glass. He still used that, quite frequently, in fact, but this one was a bit bigger. "Come on. I'll show you Jupiter."

Nerys laughed although it sounded a little bit forced, "I'll bet you say that to all the girls."

"Only the pretty ones," he grinned.

This time her laugh didn't seem so forced. "Just tell me again that it isn't all scary stuff out there, Jack," she said as he adjusted the telescope for her.

"It's _not_ all scary stuff."

"You really know that for sure?"

"Like I said. Trust me on this one. Come on… have a look," he coaxed gently, keeping one hand gently on her back.

Nerys leaned over and peered into the eyepiece. "It is beautiful," she agreed.

"Can I see?" Remi asked at her elbow. She and Ianto had come over, attracted by the use of the telescope.

Nerys stepped back, "Of course you can, sweetheart."

Jack lifted the child up so she could look into the eyepiece without him having to adjust the height of the tripod. Before she looked in, though, he pointed to the brightest star in the sky and explained that it was really a planet.

"How do you know?"

Jack grinned, refraining from telling her how many times he'd flown by it… instead he gave her a very brief lesson on early astronomy and how people noticed that certain stars seemed to move differently than the others. "Then when they invented telescopes," he nodded at her to have a look for herself, "They saw that."

"I can see it!" she looked up at him in amazement and then back into the eyepiece again.

Jack chuckled softly, "Pretty neat, huh?"

"We went to the planetarium last year…" her voice trailed off a little there. Last year they'd been living with her father and by now, despite Nerys's best efforts, Remi was aware of some of the darker aspects of her parents' divorce.

Jack said shifted Remi in his arms so she was looking at him instead of into the telescope. "I think it's time to call Myfanwy. What do you think?"

Remi's eyes lit up at the question, "Yes, please!"

Jack chuckled; he flipped open his wrist strap. "Ok, I don't let too many people do this… in fact," his voice dropped to a whisper, although it was still loud enough for the others to hear. "Your Uncle Ianto and I were married before I let _him _ever touch it," he shot Ianto a wink. The younger man seemed to be having a hard time not blushing. Or laughing.

"What is that?" Nerys whispered to Ianto.

"No idea really," he admitted.

"All right," Jack went on the same low tone, adjusting Remi in his arms so he could show her which control to push. "When I tell you, press that little button… and then watch that spot there," he nodded towards the vent shaft. "Ok?"

"Ok!"

"Ready…?"

"Ready!"

By this time Jack was having a hard time containing his own face-splitting grin. "On three… one… two… three…"

Ianto placed his hands on his sister's shoulders preemptively. A few moments later Myfanwy flew out of the vent.

Nerys gasped. "It's… huge!"

"Wait 'til she lands," Ianto said softly into her ear.

The pterodactyl swooped up and into the darkening sky and circling the Plass once before landing on the roof, just a few metres away from them.

"You didn't mention she was going to get that close…" Nerys shot her brother an accusatory look.

He just smiled as Myfanway eyed them, especially him, in a way that Ianto recognized as inquisitive but he realized was probably scaring his sister. "She's just curious," he explained, stepping away from her. "She's doesn't usually get to meet people like this."

Nerys blinked at him.

Jack set Remi down so Ianto could take it from here. The pterodactyl seemed to like him better than anyone else.

"Is... is this…_ safe_…?" Nerys looked from her brother to his partner and back again.

"He still has all his fingers, doesn't he?" was Jack's less than reassuring answer.

Nerys swallowed nervously, even as Ianto assured her that yes, it was perfectly safe. He glared at Jack briefly for his comment, too. The older man just shrugged in return. Then Ianto instructed Remi to unwrap one of the chocolate bars.

Jack came to stand behind his sister in law, who looked like she needed somebody to lean on just then.

"How did you… where did you find…that?" she couldn't quite take her eyes off the pterodactyl that was standing just a couple of metres away from them, its attention now focused solely on the chocolate bar in her daughter's hands. For her part, Remi seemed completely unafraid.

Jack considered the question a moment before answering, "I guess you could call it our first date."

"Second." Ianto corrected.

"You don't really count that night in the park…" Jack asked him in an incredulous tone.

"No. The next morning," he winked at Jack over his shoulder. "That's when you fell in love with my coffee."

Jack chuckled, "I told you, it was the suit."

"Which I was wearing when…?" he prompted in a mischievous tone.

"When you asked me whether or not I was going to help you with the pterodactyl," Jack was forced to admit.

"What ever happened to dinner and a movie?" Nerys wanted to know.

Both men laughed. "That came later," Jack told her.

Ianto turned his attention back to his niece, directing her to throw half the chocolate bar out for Myfanwy.

Nerys gasped when it hopped forward and gulped up the chocolate. She backed right into Jack when it turned its head towards her and squawked loudly.

"I think you're scaring her," Ianto told his sister.

"_Me…_ scaring _her?"_

"She's very temperamental."

"I think the word you're looking for is _spoiled_," Jack corrected his partner, resting his hands lightly on Nerys's shoulders.

The younger man rolled his eyes. He took the second half of the chocolate bar from Remi and knelt down, holding it out towards the pterodactyl.

Myfanwy cocked her head towards him.

"Come on," he encouraged her. "If you really want it, you're going to have to come here."

"Is this_ really_ safe?" Nerys looked up Jack.

He pulled her a little closer, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, protectively. "I trust him."

The pterodactyl took another hop towards Ianto and Remi; Nerys gripped Jack's arms tight.

"There's a good girl," the Welshman crooned softly at Myfanwy. "I've got somebody here who wants to meet you," he added, keeping one arm around his niece's waist, as she hopped a little closer.

"Oh God…" Nerys breathed when the dinosaur hopped right up in front of Ianto and Remi. She looked at her daughter, standing there transfixed, eyes on the pterodactyl. She didn't seem the least bit frightened (which was all right, Nerys was frightened enough for both of them.) She glanced up at Jack.

"It's ok," he promised her. "He does this all the time."

"That's my good girl," Ianto said when Myfanwy took one step closer, cocking her head towards the chocolate in his hand with an expectant little squawk. Ianto set it on the ground right in front of her.

"What's really scary," Jack whispered to Nerys, "Is watching him hand feed her. "He wears padded gloves," he added.

She paled at the thought.

Ianto was either oblivious to them or had tuned out their conversation completely. Myfanwy tilted her head to one side, eyeing him with one eye before making another soft little noise (soft being a somewhat relative term, of course.)

As soon as Ianto lifted his hand towards her, she ducked down, her wings extended for balance, and put her head underneath his hand, encouraging a petting.

"Oh my God," was all Nerys could say.

"Yep. Spoiled," Jack said as the younger man started rubbing her head.

Ianto took Remi's hand and guided it towards Myfanwy's head. "Nice and gentle. Right there is where she likes it best… there you go," he smiled at his niece. "I think she likes you," he said, when the pterodactyl made a crooning sound.

Remi giggled, very, very quietly. "I like her too."

Nerys looked up at Jack again, "How did you ever tame something like that?"

"It was all him," he told her. Then in a slightly louder tone, "I think we'd better wrap this up, just in case some actual tourists wander by."

Ianto nodded. He gave the pterodactyl's head one more affectionate pat and stepped back, scooping Remi into his arms as Jack hit the signal for her to go back to her alcove.

Nerys gave him a questioning look.

"Ultrasonic tones," he explained.

Myfanway straightened up and hopped back a few steps, before hopping awkwardly skyward with a huge downwards flap of her wings that made Remi giggle. She quickly apologized to her Uncle for laughing.

"It's all right. I think she realizes she's not the especially graceful."

After a quick turn around the Plass, the pterodactyl flew back in the way she'd come out.

"So is that what that thing is for?" she nodded towards the ever-present wrist strap. "A high tech dinosaur whistle?"

Jack couldn't help the lascivious grin that crossed his face, "It does all sorts of things," he raised his eyebrows at her. "But I think your brother might object if I offered to give you a demonstration."

"I heard that," Ianto gave him a stern look over his shoulder. The older man just feigned innocence.

Ianto turned back to his niece, "Now remember what I said about secrets," he reminded her.

"I know," she promised. "Don't ever tell anybody,_ never_. No matter what. Not even a teacher or my best friend. Cross my heart," she added, making the motion over her heart.

He chuckled. "All right. Now… _maybe _we can talk your Mam into letting me take you out for ice cream…"

"Ianto! it's past her bedtime as it is."

"_Please,_ Mam…" Remi begged. "It's not a school night…"

Ianto sighed, "No, your Mam's right… even if she is a stick in the mud," he added with a wink. "But maybe yourUncle Jack and I can come by tomorrow and we can all go to a movie or something. Assuming nothing comes up," he added in Jack's direction.

"Sounds like a date to me," the older man agreed with a wink and a warm smile.

"I'll walk you to your car," Ianto offered his sister; they left Jack up on the roof looking at the stars.

"So… where do you really work?" Nerys asked, as the exited the tourist office.

Ianto motioned to the tourist office door behind them. "Right there."

"Yan… come on. You can't expect me to believe that a dinosaur came out of the employee break room."

He laughed, "No."

"So?"

"I work right there," he said again.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

He leant over and kissed her cheek, "You already know a little too much."

"What does that mean?" she asked, stopping in front of her car (which was actually her mother's car.)

Ianto regarded her a moment before answering. "It means that my life is really, really complicated and after what happened… " he shrugged, not wanting to say the word 'Dalek' aloud, because it had taken his niece a lot longer than most to come back out of her shell after everything that had happened that day. "We're supposed to be a secret organization, Ner. Jack isn't ready to go public with Torchwood. He probably never will be. It's not just what we do, it's who he is."

"Is that why you keep dodging Mam when she wants to see your flat?"

"I live here," he told her honestly.

Nerys blinked at him, "Here? Where?" she looked back at the tourist office, trying to imagine it.

Ianto smiled, "I moved in with Jack," he reminded her.

"And he lives here…?"

"He's got his rooms… our rooms now. It's not a bad place to live. Besides," he added with a smile, "You know how I feel about long commutes."

Nerys smiled, too, glancing out at the bay. "I suppose you could have a worse view."

"I wake up next to him. As far as I'm concerned, that gives me the best view in Cardiff."

"Oi! I don't need to hear about the intimate details!"

Ianto laughed.

"What's a 'intimate detail'?" Remi inquired.

"Right," her mother took her from his arms and set her down next to them. "On that note, I think it's time to get somebody here home to her bed." She leant in and kissed her brother's cheek. "Tomorrow?"

"I'll call to confirm in the morning." The only good thing about having Mickey on the team (because he was a bigger slob than Jack and could be annoyingly like Owen in all the worst ways) was that one more person meant more chances at a day off.

He knelt down and gave his niece one more hug, "You be good for you Mam and hopefully we'll see you tomorrow."

"I'm always good!"

Ianto chuckled, "Yes you are." He kissed her forehead, feeling the familiar pang of… of he didn't really know quite what to call it, it was just that every time he told Remi goodbye he couldn't help but think of all the things he'd never have. He knew that he'd closed the door on the possibility of a family of his own long before moving in with Jack, but sometimes he still wished for things he knew would never happen… he pushed it out of his mind and stood up.

Ianto waited until Nerys had driven off before turning back towards the tourist office. He was surprised to find Jack waiting for him, just outside the office door. He gave his partner an inquisitive look, as he began crossing the distance between them, meeting Ianto half way.

"It's not too late for us grown ups to go out for ice cream," Jack smiled at him. "If you're interested."

Ianto grinned in return, "Banana split?"

His Captain nodded and slid his arm around the younger man's waist. It was a short walk to the little diner where they'd shared their first breakfast together.

As soon as they walked in, two coffees were poured and brought over to the table as they sat down.

When the ice cream arrived, the waitress set it down just right, with the pineapple side towards Ianto and the strawberry side towards Jack. There were two cherries and extra whipped cream and nuts all around, because it was much better on everybody if Jack never had to ask for more whipped cream, nuts or another cherry ever again…

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**A/N:**

_I really have no idea how the population of Cardiff doesn't notice Myfanwy coming and going… unless they do and chose to ignore her, because between what we saw in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (with the old lady in the beginning sequence) and Owen ordering pizza under the name Torchwood, I don't think Torchwood is really as secret as Jack would like… a pterodactyl overhead is probably less threatening than a Weevil in one's closet or a blowfish in sports car. :-) _

_Hope you enjoyed! _


	39. Adventures in House Hunting

**A/N: Setting:**

takes place AFTER my story **Family Matters. **Hope this doesn't confuse anybody... and I apologize for the typos... this, as that, is unbeta'd.

Many, many, many thanks for the reviews!!

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**Chapter Thirty Nine: Adventures in House Hunting**

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Jack shot his partner a dubious look when they pulled up in front of the fourth so-called 'house' they were supposed to look at this morning. They hadn't gone into the first three. This one wasn't looking any more promising.

"I don't know what you're expecting, Jack," Ianto's tone clearly betrayed his deep exasperation at the older man's behaviour.

"I'm expecting a house. _That_ isn't a house."

"Yes it is." He slid out of the passenger side of his little red SUV and leant back in the window when Jack was unwilling to budge, yet again. "You said you wanted something close to work. That means either an apartment or one of these," he nodded at row of terraced homes that Jack was so vehemently objecting to. "And since you said a yard was important to you…" he ended with a shrug, waiting for him to get out. He was not going into work today unless they actually _looked at _at least one property.

"How about something with a little privacy," he suggested.

"This is Cardiff, Jack. If you want privacy, we're going to have to move out to the country." He waited, but the other didn't respond. "It's your choice because believe me, at this point, I'd entertain the notion of moving an hour's drive from work _if_ I thought it would make you happy." Which they both knew it wouldn't.

Reluctantly, the Captain slid out of the vehicle. "I don't like attached housing."

"It's semi-detached."

"Oooh, we're only sharing _one _wall with our nearest neighbour," he said in an acerbic tone.

"The last one was detached…"

"_Jason_ wouldn't have been able have fit through the space between that house and the one next to it. And a the yard was the size of a postage stamp," he added.

"Well you're not going to get more than a postage-stamp sized yard in the city," he did his best to sound reasonable. The real estate agent pulled up just behind them. Feeling a little embarrassed, Ianto walked up to her car and apologized again for running her ragged all morning. "I really hadn't expected my partner to be so…difficult," he glared back in Jack's direction.

"I am not being difficult!" the older man protested. "I just… never mind," he huffed; the angry look on Ianto's face told him that he was skating on thin ice.

Ianto had spent every free moment over the last six days combing through real estate websites, talking to agents and going to look at potential houses on his lunch hour. And not once had he complained that Jack had spent every free moment of those same six days with his son and mother.

Ianto finally had their choices narrowed down to four properties that fit Jack's criteria: close to work, three bedrooms, a yard, a decent kitchen, and available for immediate occupancy. The first, second and last criteria were the only two things the younger man agreed with him on, but Jack was adamant about all of it. He refused to live in an apartment and he hated small kitchens. He didn't care for small bathrooms, either (in fact, if he'd had his way, there would be more than one bathroom and he didn't seem to understand that in a three bedroom house that just wasn't going to happen, at least not in Cardiff Bay.)

Jack shoved his hands into his pockets and joined Ianto at the other car. "Come on, let's get this over with."

"If you really don't want to…" the agent began.

"No," he glanced in his partner's direction, trying to figure out exactly how angry Ianto really was… it didn't look good. "Maybe… maybe the inside'll be better than the outside," he forced a smile. He doubted he sounded enthusiastic, but he headed up to the front door anyway.

With a heavy sigh, Ianto followed with the real estate agent trudging along behind them.

This hadn't been the young Welshman's first choice; he'd taken them to his first choice first, but Jack had refused to even get out of the SUV. The younger man didn't even particularly _like_ this place, but it meet the general criteria, so he'd put it on the list of houses to show Jack today, hoping to never even get this far.

The first house hadn't looked like much on the outside, but if Jack had gone in, he would have found a lovely country-style kitchen that opened out into a neat little back garden. It wasn't a huge kitchen, but it had a separate dining nook that overlooked the garden that was adjacent to a small room that could be used as either an office or a sitting room or even a small library for all of their books.

The living room was bigger than average and it had a fireplace, something Ianto had always wanted. There was also a big bay window and he had spied evidence of children in the neighbourhood who were probably about Jason's age.

Upstairs there were three bedrooms and there was a third floor attic that had could easily become a fourth bedroom if they wanted to give Ella a little more privacy, or Jason more room to play. The parking wasn't ideal, but the rest of the house was perfect…

But Jack had refused to go in.

He'd refused to go into the second house too, which although Ianto didn't like it as well as he liked the first, he could have easily seen himself living in it. There were big windows for letting in light and an old woodstove in the kitchen which was almost as nice as a fireplace. He could imagine sitting around it in the winter drinking hot chocolate… but Jack hadn't wanted to go into that house, either.

The third house was detached, which should have made Jack happy, but it hadn't. The yard was a little bigger than average, and it had a newly redone kitchen and a nice little patio… It lacked the character of the first two houses, but Ianto could have considered it a compromise.

He sighed. "I've already been here, you have a look around," he suggested to his partner in a quiet tone when they got inside. Ianto meandered into the kitchen, which was his least favourite room of the whole house. _Jack will probably love it,_ he mused to himself. It was all stainless and modern… he listened to the sounds of Jack's footsteps upstairs…

It took him less than ten minutes to look over the whole house and find Ianto in the kitchen. It didn't even look as if he'd asked the agent a single embarrassing question.

"Well?" Ianto asked him, ready to hear Jack list all the reasons he hated the place.

"I guess… it's not bad," he said, instead.

The younger man blinked. Ok. Sure. Why not. He could agree with not bad. "No, it's not bad." The agent, tactfully, retreated from the room. "Back garden's a bit small."

Jack shrugged, "Like you said, it's the city. If we want to be close to work, I guess I'm going to have to compromise. Fantastic kitchen though."

Ianto rolled his eyes.

"You don't think so…?"

He shrugged. "I can keep looking, if you'd like." He turned his gaze away from Jack and out towards the back garden. It wasn't so much small as it was dismal, being almost entirely bricked over, just one great big patio. But the fact of the matter was that it was unlikely either of them would have the time to maintain a yard anyway, so it probably didn't matter. An apartment would make more sense. "Maybe something new will come into the market in the next day or two," he suggested.

Jack shoved his hands into his pockets. "You're upset with me." He didn't bother making it a question.

"Not really," Ianto lied.

"We can take this one if you want…" he began, but the look on the younger man's face when he looked at him again stopped that thought mid-sentence. "Don't you want to take this one?" he asked, wonder what he'd said wrong this time.

"What I _want _is for you to actually_**look**_ at the houses I found, Jack," he snapped. "I want to make this decision together, not just have you 'give in' to my least favourite…" he shook his head and walked into the living room, before he said anything he truly regretted.

He stood in front of the huge front window and stared out it. The front garden was small, but there was plenty of room for parking and a high fence separated their front entrance from their neighbours'. There were lots of trees on this street… trees were nice, and it was barely ten minutes from work. Of course he'd liked the bay window in the first house better, but there was nothing wrong with the front window in this one.

_And it really isn't a horrible house, _he told himself sensibly. With some paint, maybe new carpeting, nice drapes… what was the point of a fireplace anyway? It wasn't like they'd ever get to enjoy it.

He heard Jack's footsteps behind him, but didn't turn. "I suppose this one will do," he finally said, when Jack came up right behind him.

"Not if it's your least favourite."

"It doesn't matter."

Jack wrapped his arms around his partner's waist. "Yes it does. I just… the only time I lived in a house… a real house… it was… well, it wasn't like this," he shrugged. He and Laura had had a real house out in the county. But that, Jack reminded himself, had been over a hundred years ago and he hadn't actually lived there very often anyway. "I know you've put a lot of work into this," he added quietly when the younger man didn't respond right away. "I appreciate the effort."

Ianto sagged against him… he knew Jack didn't mean to sound patronizing but that's just exactly how did sound. "I'd like something with a little more privacy too, Cariad. Only we're not going to find that in the city."

"I know."

"So…?" he glanced over his shoulder at the older man. It was hard to stay angry when he looked into those big blue eyes… _God, I'm such a sap…_ "This place…?"

Jack shook his head, "Why don't we go back and look at the first three?"

"Because it's getting late and we told Gwen we'd be in by eleven."

"I'm sure if there's an emergency she'll call us."

Ianto turned around in Jack's arms, but didn't let go. "We don't have to make this decision today."

"I know. But I should at least look. Would… would you tell me which one was your favourite?"

"Either of the first two you refused to go into. I know they were both mid-terrace houses," he added. "But the nice thing about older homes is that sometimes people remodel… and… sometimes it's really nice inside."

"I don't suppose either of them had a second bathroom?" he asked hopefully.

"Sorry. Not around here."

Jack sighed. "All right. Let's go back and look at the first two houses again. I promise to be a little more open minded about it."

Ianto snickered, "You know, it's kind of funny hearing you admit to being narrow minded about anything."

Jack just grinned and leant in and it felt so good when the other man met his kiss half way…

………………………………………..

"Hey, kids, sorry we're late," Jack grinned when they walked in through the cog door. It was nearly two, but to make up for taking all morning, Jack had stopped off at the bakery in the Millennium Centre that everybody liked so much. He made a special point of setting the raspberry tart right on Gwen's desk. "Thanks for covering for us this morning."

She grinned, "You didn't miss much. We've got another one of those big bug things, though… any chance of getting the Doctor to pop 'round and take them both home? They really do stink."

Jack chuckled, "I'll see what I can do… Bobby?" he asked, letting the blond pick something out of the bag. His arm was bandaged.

"I hate bloody bugs," he muttered, but seemed happier for the cookies he pulled out. Everybody knew that chocolate chip was his favourite and the usually calorie conscious medic had given up worrying about it a couple of weeks after coming to Cardiff. Torchwood was great for burning off fat and carbs.

"Mickey Mouse…" Jack handed Mickey a piece of cheese cake.

"Very funny."

Ianto handed Wendy her bag… she grinned at the chocolate covered strawberries. There was another bag of those for him and Jack, for later, too…

"So?" Gwen asked, as Ianto went to start a pot of coffee. "How'd it go?"

"Yeah, are you and Captain Cheesecake proud homeowners, yet?" Mickey teased in Ianto's direction.

The Welshman just rolled his eyes.

"Not only proud homeowners, we even broke the place in," Jack announced, much to his partner's chagrin.

Gwen's big brown eyes got bigger and she put her hands over her mouth. "Jack… tell us you didn't!"

"Oh, I say they did," Mickey snickered, shoving the last of the cheesecake into his mouth.

Bobby grinned and shook his head, snickering along with the younger man, clearly not at all doubting Jack's word.

"Yan?" Wendy inquired, shyly.

His blush was enough to confirm that Jack was telling the truth.

"Right in front of the fireplace," the Captain flashed a merry grin, delving into his own desert, a strawberry tart.

"Practically in front of the real estate agent," his partner added with a groan. There was still more paperwork to sign of course, but after Jack's little 'performance,' she hadn't been too keen to stick around…

"Well it's not like I didn't invite her to join us," Jack assured the others (not that that was what any of them really wanted to hear.)

"I think you frightened her, Cariad."

"What's so frightening about him?" Mickey asked.

"Do you _really _want to know?" Jack leered at him with a lascivious grin that was enough to shut the younger man up… it only got worse when he asked Ianto in an entirely too loud tone of voice how he'd would feel about getting a bear skin rug for in front of that fireplace…

The Welshman became suddenly very busy at his computer, although when Wendy slipped her arm around him his waist a few minutes later, he didn't mind at all. "So you ended up with the one with the fire place, hmmm?" she asked in a soft tone.

He just grinned. "Yup."

"How'd you manage that?" she asked. "I thought you said you expected him to hate the kitchen.

"He wasn't really thinking about the kitchen when he said yes to the place." Ianto flashed a coy little look.

She had a very hard time not giggling. "And yet you always make it sound like it's all _his_ fault."

"That's half the fun," Ianto told her. "Making him think that it _is_ all his fault."

Jack's sudden presence startled them, "You kids want to share with the rest of the class?" he inquired, leaning right into their little huddle. Ianto was bright red.

"Erm…. Not really," he didn't quite meet his partner's gaze.

"Miss Shutten?" Jack shot her a look.

Wendy just cleared her throat and went back to her station, muttering about being in the middle of something important.

Jack chuckled; he sat down on the corner of Ianto's desk and looked down at him for a long moment.

Finally, the younger man met his gaze. "Yes, Sir? Is there something I can do for you?" he continued to flash that same coy little smile and his cheeks were still pink.

"I don't know… would it look bad if I sent the rest of them home in the middle of the afternoon?"

"Probably, yes."

Jack sighed. Six o'clock wasn't going to come quickly enough… _and that's assuming a bunch of corrupt Raxacoricofallapatorians don't decide that this is a good day to invade…_ he meandered towards his office and the pile of paperwork he still had to get through. Last month's financials were a mess and the least he could do to make up for the last week was give Ianto a little less to do around the office…


	40. Domestic Blues

**Thank you! **Wow… once again, the response to this continues to be overwhelming. Thank you.

This follows up where the last chapter left off, because Jack was right, the new situation presents big changes for everybody involved and change doesn't always come easily...

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**Chapter Forty: Domestic Blues **

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"I don't _**want**_ to go to school!"

"I'm afraid you have to," Ianto exercised his most rational voice, the one that always seemed to work on Remi just fine.

"NO! They treat me like I'm stupid!" the boy pulled the covers up tighter around him as if that would somehow help him win the argument.

"They don't treat you like you're stupid…"

"Yes they do. I hate it there! I hate this century!"

Ianto knelt down next to the bed and gave over a tired smile. School had been an ongoing battle... and it was only Jason's first week. "I know it's not the kind of school you're used to, but you _have_ to go. Just give it a chance…" he tried to sound encouraging, but it was obvious even before Jason's next outburst that he was failing miserably.

"You can't make me, you're not my Daddy_ or_ my Papa!"

The Welshman bit down on how much that hurt, on how much being such a colossal failure hurt. He knew Jason was just lashing out and he understood that the boy had been through a lot, especially in the last year and this was a huge change, but it still hurt to feel like he was never, ever going to measure up to Roan.

He didn't want to replace the other man, he just wanted to be accepted and so far, that wasn't happening. _Maybe Jack was right, maybe I should have spent more time with them before we moved in together…_ but during that first week after Ella and Jason arrived, he'd been consumed with practical concerns, like finding them a place to live because the Hub simply was no place for a child… and, he realized, he had been a little giddy over the prospect of a real house, a real home, a real family all his own… that was something that this clearly wasn't ever going to be.

"I know I'm not your Daddy or your Papa," he said in an even tone, "But you still have to listen to me. School isn't an option… "

"I'm not going and you can't make me!"

"Ianto," Ella's soft voice at the door cut him off before he could speak. "Why don't you let me try…?"

The younger man sighed. This wasn't the first time she'd come to the rescue, either. He got up, "Fine."

"Ianto?" she asked.

He shook his head. It wasn't her fault he was frustrated or that Jason didn't like him. "Go ahead," he forced a tight smile up at her, trying to reign in his jumbled emotions.

"Everything all right in here,?" Jack finally put in his appearance.

"It's just fine," Ianto lied, wedging through the door past him. He knew he shouldn't be mad at Jack either; Jack had given him the day off today, even though it was supposed to be Jack's day at home, because the painters were due to arrive at ten and the older man knew how important it was that everything get done just right. "Is there any coffee left in the pot?" Ianto asked him.

"Yeah… yeah sure," Jack pulled his braces up into place. "Mom?" he asked in her direction, hoping that someone would give him a straight answer. "What's going on in here?"

She glanced towards Jason, who loudly declared that he wasn't going to school.

"Jason…" Jack took a seat on the end of the bed. "I know you don't like it, but school really isn't an option, buddy," he tried to sound sensible.

"They treat me like I'm stupid. I hate it there! I hate this century. I want to go home!" Tears were welling up in his eyes.

"This _is_ your home now," Jack said him in what he hoped was a soothing tone; he remembered being overwhelmed when he first arrived in the nineteenth century, the feeling of being stuck, out of place and out of time… strange food, strange smells, strange customs and clothing... He'd come voluntarily, he was an adult, a trained Time Agent. He couldn't imagine what Jason must be feeling now that the 'big adventure' factor had worn off and he was being forced to settle in. To _fit _in. "I know it's all strange here… but I'm here and I love you so much... if you give this place a chance…"

"Why can't we go home? Back to our real home?" his son pleaded with him.

"Because… we can't," Jack gave him the simplest answer he had. "And part of living here means going to school…"

Ella laid a hand on his shoulder. "It's not like you never missed a day or two of school when you were his age. Why don't I keep him home with me today?"

He gave her a look.

"He's in the third grade. What can they _possibly_ be studying that missing a day will hurt? If it'll make you feel better I'll take him to a museum or something."

"Please?" Jason begged his father. "Please, just for today...?"

"Yeah… yeah sure, all right," he was rewarded by a hug from his son, but it didn't feel like much of a reward. "Just for today, though," he cautioned his son, although really, his mother had a point. Missing _one day_ wouldn't hurt… it might even help. Besides, it was a Friday, they could treat it as a long weekend.

Jack left his mother and son discussing their big plans for the day. He found Ianto in the kitchen drinking the last of the coffee.

"Sorry," his Welshman muttered without really looking up at him.

Jack wasn't sure if it was sorry about the coffee or the school situation, but it didn't matter, He leant in and wrapped his arms around his partner's shoulders, "It'll just take him some time to adjust."

"I know." Ianto kept his eyes on his cup. "Why don't you stay home and I'll go in to work today." It wasn't a question.

"The painters…"

The younger man shook his head, still not making eye contact. "You stay home. I'll go in," he repeated.

Jack slid into the chair next to him. "We could both…"

"We can't both take the day, it wouldn't be fair to the others. I'm sure you can handle the painters without me here to hold your hand."

"You sure?"

Ianto finally looked him, his expression unreadable, although the fact that he was hurting wasn't lost on Jack. "Yeah. I'm sure. Have fun," he stood up and set his cup in the sink, knowing deep down that when he got home it would still be there, unwashed. "Don't forget to call the school to let them know Jason won't be in today. If you ask the teacher to put together his homework, I can pick it on my lunch. And when the painters get here…"

"I'll make sure they do it just the way you want them to," Jack promised him. The deflated tone in Ianto's voice wasn't lost on him either, he just didn't know what to do about it.

The younger man nodded and went upstairs to get dressed.

……………………………………………..

"I thought Jack was coming in today…" Gwen began, but the expression on Ianto's face told her that she was better off not pressing the issue too hard.

"Chang in plan," he answered simply, heading over to his station.

Nobody asked what had happened and when he announced that he was taking a long lunch, no one objected.

………………………………………………………..

"I told you that being a step parent wasn't going to be easy," was all Alice had to say to him, over tea and cheese toasties, when he showed up on her doorstep after having dutifully collected Jason's homework from his teacher.

Ianto had told his mother about Jason and Ella a few days after he'd told Nerys. Her reaction had been only slightly better than his sister's, although he chalked that up to Mam not being the sort of woman to swear, even in the privacy of her own kitchen.

She'd asked him if he was really sure about this, especially with he and Jack only newly-wed, still settling in to their own routine. His answer at the time was that having Jason was the best thing that could have ever happened to either of them, he was Jack's son and having him again made Jack so happy… Ianto sighed into his tea. So far things were not working out as he'd hoped.

"Sweetheart," Alice reached across the table and put her hands on his.

He didn't meet her gaze. "I know. You told me. He's eight. All he's ever really known is his other father." Explaining _that _to Mam had been more difficult than explaining it to Nerys; after all, everybody had a mother only Ianto wasn't about to tell her that if one wanted to get technical, it should be Jack's name in the 'mother' slot on the birth certificate.

Mam had finally just accepted that the birth mother wasn't in the picture and the biologically, Jason was Jack's. He still felt guilty at cutting Roan out of it like that. It really wasn't fair, never mind that the other man was long dead… wouldn't be born for three thousand years… Ianto was starting to hate time travel. It made every situation too complicated.

"It's my own fault for being overly idealistic," he finally admitted, wishing again that he'd spent more time with Jason before trying to turn them into one big happy family. Maybe if he had, Jason wouldn't equate him with everything he hated about this century.

"I doubt you're the only person to blame, Yan. There are two other adults in that house, you know."

"Jack… Jack just wants his son to love him," he sighed. Before moving into the house had forced them into a routine, Jack had spent every spare moment with his mother and son and Ianto hadn't begrudged him a moment of it, even though it was becoming clear now that he'd inadvertently set a bad precedent. "His mother means well, Mam. Jason was the only thing she had to hang onto after Jack's ex died… " he wished he could explain more, to make her understand, but what would he say?

He'd concocted a story that would work: Jack and his mother had had a falling out, which was true, and that after Roan died she came to find him, also true… he left out the bit about Grey. He left out the fifty first century. He left out the part about him and his mother in law holding one another at gunpoint. "I know this is as hard on her as it is on me, but I feel like… like I'm the odd man out and I hate it," he took another sip of his tea, trying to force the lump in his throat to go away.

Alice tightened her grip on his hand. "What are you going to do about it?" she asked in a calm, sensible tone that made him blink.

"What can I do? She's his mother… Jason is his son."

"And _you're _his partner. You're the one he _chose_."

Before he could respond, there was a knock at the front door. Alice nodded to her son to sit while she got up to answer…

"And just how many times do I have to tell you you've got a key, you don't need to knock?" she said rather than hello, as she let Jack into her house.

He forced a tight little line of a smile. "Sorry. I noticed Ianto's car…" he shrugged.

"He's in the kitchen. Although I should point out that this is getting to be a bad habit for both of you."

"I erm… actually, I came over to talk to you," Jack admitted, spending more time looking at his boots than at her.

Alice gave him an appraising look, but before either could say more, Ianto appeared in the doorway between the living room and dining room, "Shall I start a pot of coffee, then?" he asked in a cool tone that made the knots in his partner's stomach twist up harder.

"Erm… tea's fine. Thanks."

"Would it be better if I just left?" Ianto asked in the same cold tone.

Not only was he being pushed out of his own house, but now Jack was pushing him out of his mother's house as well, and while a part of him was honestly happy Jack felt comfortable talking to his mother, presumably about this morning, another part of him resented it, since Jack had his _own_ mother to talk to now…. He squashed the thought as petty and juvenile.

"I should get back to work anyway," the Welshman forced a smile as tight as Jack's. He turned and retreated into the kitchen to wash out his cup.

Jack followed him. "I'm sure the others can hold down the tourist office for another hour, if you'd like to stick around," he offered tentatively. Alice was right behind him. He glanced back at her, but her expression was difficult to read. He looked back to his Welshman, who was leaning up against the counter, as if waiting for him to say something. He flashed a half-smile at the younger man. "I guess you've saved me from having to explain what's going on… "

Ianto crossed his arms over his chest. "Glad to have been of service."

Jack flinched but realized he deserved that. He nodded to acknowledge it, and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'm sorry about this morning."

"This morning isn't the problem, Cariad."

He fought hard to hide the smile of relief that wanted to break free when Ianto called him that because it meant that whatever it was, Ianto didn't hate him over it, he was just angry. Angry he could fix. He hoped. "Do you want to tell me what is?" he asked. He'd come here hoping Alice could give him some advice, but since Ianto was here…

Ianto, however, just gave him an exasperated sigh, looking away from Jack's gaze. "It's nothing. It's me. It's fine. I'll be fine." His voice sounded ragged.

The smile and the warmth behind it faded from Jack's insides at his tone. He took a step closer and laid his hands on his partner's arms. Ianto refused to meet his gaze. "You're not fine. And when you're not fine, I'm not fine."

"He's not a mind reader, Sweetheart," Alice reminded her son. She ran some hot water into the kettle and put it on the stove. "I think you two can manage tea on your own. Don't forget to lock up when you leave." She took her keys off the hook by the door and walked out the back door. "Oh…" turned around again. "And whatever it is you boys do to make up… not here," she shot a wink in Jack's direction in particular.

They couldn't help it, they both had to fight back embarrassed laughter, at least until she was out the door again, then they broke down chuckling… Ianto suspected she'd done that on purpose.

Jack caught him as he leant forward, wrapping his arms around the younger man's body and holding him for several long moments. He kissed the top of Ianto's head, once again grateful that whatever it was, it didn't seem unfixable.

"I really can't read your mind," he said, at length, after they'd stopped giggling (although Ianto was still red faced.) "Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't know if I can explain it," the younger man told him honestly.

"Will you try?"


	41. Domestic Blues pt 2

**Thank you! **For continuing to review! Reviews mean so much and make my day every time. ;-)

Sappy, fluffy chapter ahead…

Sorry for any confusion... yes, the last chapter begins about a week after Adventures in Househunting...

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**Chapter Forty One: Domestic Blues (part 2)**

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"Isn't that Ianto's Mum?" Mickey asked of the woman on the security feed from the camera outside the tourist office. She was making her way up to the office door.

Gwen came to look over his shoulder. "Would you go up and see what she wants?" she asked.

"Me? Go play tourist office lackey?"

"Well, you _do_ work at one…" she smirked.

"Why can't he go?" he nodded his head towards Bobby who was reading a magazine at his desk.

"Because _he_ has an autopsy to perform," Gwen glared at the blond medic.

Bobby sighed and set down his magazine. "Right."

"It's either that or tourist office lackey," Gwen winked at him.

"Alien bug guts it is," he sauntered off quickly towards the medical bay.

Grumbling about still being treated like the 'bloody tin dog', Mickey made his way up via the 'back door', since Alice Jones was already in the tourist office and he couldn't very well come through the secret door in the wall.

He jogged across the Plass and headed into the office, explaining that he'd been at lunch when he saw her come in. "Ianto's not here," he added.

"I know. I just wanted to drop something off for him." She handed Mickey the Waterstones bag she was carrying.

"Erm… sure." He didn't look inside the bag, but it felt like it contained several books, however nothing seemed typically novel-sized. Mickey set the bag under the counter for Ianto. "Can I get you a cup of tea or something?" he offered, nodding towards the little tea station they had set up in the employee break room… not that they ever actually used it. The employee kitchen downstairs was better stocked.

Alice glanced at her watch, "I suspect I've time for a cup. Thank you."

"I'm not really sure when Ianto'll be back," he motioned for her to follow, hoping that the Welshman had at least stocked the tea station up here… but of course he had, this was Ianto. There were even fresh scones. "He said something about a long lunch," Mickey explained over his shoulder as he filled a couple of mugs from the tap.

"No worries," Alice gave him an amicable smile, taking a seat at the little card table in the corner. "I wasn't really expecting to see him anyway, I just wanted to drop off little housewarming gift. Have you seen their new place yet…?"

Mickey groaned, "Yeah." He'd been the one to help Ianto put the bed together (while trying very hard not to think about what the holes in the posts were for), while Jack fumbled through putting up shelves. Mickey had heard the story about how Jack didn't understand why anyone would want to make a screwdriver sonic… _heh_. Having the shelves fall down on him twice would teach him… He grinned as he set they cups into the microwave. "What'd you get them then?" He asked, leaning up against the counter. The water would only take a minute.

"It's not so much for the boys as it is for Jack's son."

"Oi, that was a shocker, eh? I didn't see _that_ one coming in million years."

"You've known Jack a while, haven't you?"

"On and off, I guess. He's mates with m'friend Rose. Well… ex girlfriend, Rose," he gave over a bit of a smile. "First time I met Jack was right here in Cardiff as a matter of fact…" not that he could tell her about the Slitheen crazy-lady's attempt blow up the Earth… _come to think of it, Torchwood should have been all over that,_ he realized. And Jack, a future version of him from the one that was with him and Rose and the Doctor that day, should have been with Torchwood… _wonder where ol' Cheesecake was slacking off to… or who he was slacking off with… _the microwave beeped.

………………………………………………………….

Despite Jack's assurance that tea would be fine, Ianto dug out his mother's coffee tin and set up the percolator. Jack leant on the counter next to him, watching.

"I swear, other than here, I haven't seen one of those in fifty years," he said of the glass pot that Ianto set on the stovetop.

The younger man smirked, "She's got a glass washboard, too."

"Guess collecting antiques runs in the family."

"Oh," Ianto groaned. "That was bad, even for you."

Jack chuckled and shook his head. Instead of coming out with any silly, witty comments (or comments the younger man was sure _Jack_ would think were witty), the Captain simply laid a soft kiss on his partner's lips. "Can we talk now?" he asked when he pulled away again, although it was obviously reluctantly.

"I'm honestly not sure I can explain it, Cariad," he said again, motioning towards the table where they both sat down. Jack nodded to indicate that he was listening, but he didn't say anything. Ianto cleared his throat; he was suddenly very glad that his mother had decided to leave them to it. There were things he couldn't say with her anywhere around, because if he was going to be really honest, there were things he had to say that he could never explain to her. "I… I guess part of it is that I'm jealous," he couldn't meet Jack's gaze.

"Of…?"

"Of your… of Roan," he forced himself to use the man's name.

Jack's brows furrowed. "Ianto… "

"I know, it's stupid," he cut him off. "He's either dead or he hasn't been born yet," he didn't honestly mean to snap. "Sorry… sometimes all the stuff about timelines and future and past…" he shook his head.

"Makes you wish you'd settled for a nice 'normal' guy…?" the Captain hazarded with a smirk, although mostly it was a joke (he hoped.)

"I wouldn't _ever_ wish for that."

Jack couldn't help the smile that played on his lips again. Even though his life was more settled down now than it ever had been, with the last century or so having been spent on one planet, one time, he still sometimes wondered why anyone who knew him as well as his Welshman did would want to attempt the whole domestic thing with him. Even though the other man seemed to finally really understand that he was capable of taking relationships seriously, his timeline wasn't any straighter then he was…

"I know it's stupid to be jealous of someone who wasn't even a part of your life when he died, but…" Ianto paused, gathering his thoughts and his courage. "You shared something so intimate with him and… and I guess I wish it had been me." He glanced quickly out the window, afraid to see the look on Jack's face.

He was quiet a moment. When he finally spoke, his tone was very carefully neutral. "Could you back up a little and tell me exactly what you're talking about?"

Ianto's gaze flickered to his face, very, very briefly.

"From where I'm sitting I don't think there's anything I ever did with Roan that I haven't done with you," Jack explained. "I know I never loved him the way I love you."

He swallowed. He looked at Jack. "You had Jason with him."

The older man took a few minutes to digest that before speaking. He had completely missed that something like that might be an issue. "Ah. Yeah. Yeah that_ is_ something you and I have never done."

"I know it's stupid of me…"

The Captain shook his head, "It's not stupid."

"It _is_ stupid because I'm not jealous of you and Laura having had children together."

"Jason is living with us; Sophie and Rose are long dead…"

Ianto blinked. "One of your daughters was called Rose?"

"Jealous of that too?" Jack teased him.

The younger man chuckled, "I don't think I would have wanted you to call one of your daughters Ifan, even if we _had_ met back then, no, thank you."

The kettle whistled, but the coffee was a long ways from being done. Ianto got up and poured hot water into his mug and got a fresh tea bag before coming back to the table. "Anyway… it was different with you and Laura."

Jack gave him a look, "And you would know that how?"

He sighed. "All right, Mister Fifty First Century, when you were with Laura, _she _was the one who was pregnant… or at least that's my twenty first century assumption," his tone was ripe with sarcasm.

"Erm. Yeah. What's your point?"

Ianto gave him a look.

Jack returned it.

The younger man looked away. "I told you it was stupid."

"It's not stupid. It's just something I never thought about."

"It's something I think about everyday," the younger man admitted. "I'm not proud of that," he added.

"Ianto… Sweetheart," Jack took hold of his hands, but it was the endearment that got his partner's attention. It was something Jack had never called him before and he was nervous about doing now. Somehow when Ianto said it, or at least the closest thing to it in Welsh, it sounded natural and easy… and when he'd called Estelle 'Sweetheart', that had been natural too… Jack knew it wasn't that Ianto was male, he didn't have those hang ups. It was that in so many ways this was a first for him.

He _had_ loved Laura… Estelle… he'd been mad for the Doctor and Rose held a place in his heart that no other person would ever occupy and in a crazy kind of way he'd been incredibly attached to John at one point… But when he looked at the man sitting across from him there… it was so different… so _real_. "You have nothing to be ashamed of," he finished his original thought rather than dwell on it.

"I guess sometimes I feel… left out," Ianto admitted, focusing in on the blue eyes of the man holding his hands. S_weetheart… _hearing that made him feel more foolish than ever, but Mam was right, as fantastic as Jack was, he _wasn't _a mind reader. If he were, they probably would have gotten together soon and had fewer arguments along the way. "You and this other man came together and… and the result was a beautiful child… I can't help but envy that. I'm sorry."

Jack freed one of his hands and ran it along his partner's cheek. "You know there is no way with current technology I could do that here. I'm not even sure how my body would react to the procedure any more."

"I'm _not_ asking you to get pregnant again."

"But I would."

Ianto blinked at him.

"I really would," he said again. He flashed a half-smile. "Swollen ankles, nausea…God, the nausea," he moaned, because two thousand years was not enough to make him forget that for almost nine whole months he hadn't been able to keep anything down. "Every little smell set me off… Oh yeah, and the whole time I had zero sex drive. But I would still do it again if I could."

"_You?_ With no sex drive?" the younger questioned in a dubious tone.

Jack grinned. "Yes. _Me_ with no sex drive."

"I have a hard time imagining that, Cariad."

"Well believe it," he assured him.

They hadn't gotten around to discussing the particulars of Jason's conception and delivery and even though it wasn't the issue at the moment, Ianto gave into his curiosity. "So… how…?"

"Genetic material is taken from the two… or more… interested parties, combined in the right sequence and… and if one of them isn't naturally able to carry, the surgeons go in and nip here, tuck there, and…" he ended in a shrug. It really wasn't a complicated procedure by fifty first century standards.

"You're not seriously telling me you've… you've got… a…. " he couldn't quite finish that sentence.

"The word is womb, Ianto."

The younger man paled.

"How _else_ did you think I got pregnant?"

"I… guess… I hadn't thought about it. And what do you mean, two _or more_ 'interested parties'?"

He shrugged, flashing just a wee bit of a smirk as well. "No reason a dedicated three or foursome shouldn't have a child together… although let me tell you, I've seen some messy custody cases. I had this friend…"

Ianto waved it aside, cutting the other man off. He really wasn't interested in fifty first century custody battles; he'd had his fill of those right there in the twenty first century with Nerys and her ex husband.

Ianto glanced up at the stove, and saw that the coffee was turning a deep, deep shade of brown, just the way Jack liked it. _Good timing, too…_ he thought, although he supposed if he would have thought about it, he would have figured that Jack had to have some kind of womb… or something.

He got up and turned off the stove; he felt the other man's arms around his waist and stopped. Nothing in the world felt as good as when his Captain held him. His scent, those strong arms… _it really doesn't get better than this… _

"You're not too freaked out, are you?" The older man asked in a soft tone, right in his ear.

"No."

"You're not going to start looking at me differently?"

Ianto chuckled at the sincerity of that question and turned in his arms, so they were facing each other. "Jack… Cariad… I'm married to a man who was born on another planet, three thousand years in the future; you're over two thousand years older than me and immortal. I think I can get over a womb." Although he had to admit, at least to himself, that it was going to make not laughing at some of Cade's stupid cracks a little harder.

"Just as long as this is really covered under the whole sickness and health clause…?" he asked.

"It is. I love you."

"I love you too," he leant forward and savoured the kiss his partner gave him. "And technically, I don't really have it any more anyway."

The younger man gave him a questioning look.

"Most of it was taken out with Jason. All that's left are a few remnants in case I ever want to do it again."

Ianto looked at him a long moment, "Would you really do it again? You know, technology permitting?"

"Yes. For you. _With_ you."

"Why?"

"Because you would make a terrific father."

The Welshman scoffed, "Then why do I feel like a bloody wicked stepmother or something…? Don't you _dare_ laugh," he added when he saw the smirk creeping into Jack's face.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he _was_ grinning though. He released Ianto and got a cup down from the cupboard for his coffee.

"Jack…"

"I'm _not _laughing," he insisted, although it was easier not to grin when he wasn't looking directly at his Welshman because suddenly all he could picture was some Ianto-version of Margret Hamilton.

With a sigh, the younger man sat himself back at the table and pulled his tea bag out of the no-longer hot water. He hated cold tea; it didn't matter. It was too strong to drink, anyway.

A moment later Jack joined him, sipping at the industrial strength brew, his smile seeming more appreciative of the coffee than amused at the wicked step mother picture.

"It's really a good thing you're immortal," Ianto teased him. "Otherwise that stuff would kill you."

His Captain chuckled. Then, in a more serious tone, "Are we ok?"

"_We're_ ok, Jack. We were never not ok. But the situation isn't ok. For a week I let you go off and 'play'… and I don't regret that except that now we have to settle into some kind of routine and I'm the one who's stuck enforcing all the rules."

"I enforce the rules…"

"Not in Jason's mind. In his mind moving in with me was when it stopped being fun. I'm the bad guy. And on top of it… never mind." He took a sip of is cold, strong tea.

Jack clearly wasn't going to let him off the hook, however. "What?" he insisted.

"He's just lashing out, it's nothing."

"What did he say?"

"I'm not his father, Jack. I never will be. I'm… I understand that and I'm _not_ trying to replace Roan. I wouldn't even know how. I just… I wish your son didn't hate me."

Jack set down his cup. "He _doesn't _hate you."

"Yes he does… and I know it'll pass but… but right now it's really hard." He rested his cheek against his hand, one elbow propped on the table. "I feel like… like I'm not the odd man out in my own home."

"Ianto…"

"I know you don't feel that way. But I do."

Jack reached across the table and took his partner's free hand in his. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

"I think we all need to sit down and talk… but maybe I need to talk to your mother first."

Jack's brows came together again.

"I know she's just trying to help, but she's got to let me and Jason sort ourselves out, she can't keep jumping in like she has been. I know she means well… but it really isn't helping."

"All right," he agreed.

"Thank you."

Jack pressed his palm to Ianto's cheek and held him there a moment. "There's nothing to thank me for, Sweetheart. We're in this together."

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**A/N:**

Margaret Hamilton played the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz.

The incident Mickey is referring to with the Slitheen took place in the first season Doctor Who episode Boom Town… I have often wondered what Torchwood-Jack was doing that day because as Mickey was pointed out, Torchwood _should_ have been all over it. (Of course the real answer is that the writers hadn't even conceived of Torchwood yet, but that's besides the point…)

The 'tin dog' reference is something Mickey said of himself when he, Rose and the Doctor met Sarah Jane during the Doctor Who episode School reunion. Mickey compared himself to K-9, saying he wasn't any better than 'the tin dog.'


	42. Life the Universe and

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A/N:

First, I want to say a huge thank you for the reception this has gotten. I truly appreciate all the reviews / fave / alert list that people have given this.

Instead of going forward I'm going back in time to Season One, because I've these chapters rolling through my head for a while. The next few will be mostly fluff with a little smut and some angst thrown in for good measure. Hope you enjoy!

**Setting: **about six and a half minutes after the credits roll in **They Keep Killing Suzie. **(I know this one's been done to death, but I had to take my turn at it, too ;-)

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**Chapter Forty Two: Life, the Universe and…**

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Ianto glanced at his watch again. Six and a half minutes had elapsed since Jack had left him in the morgue. He had finished the paperwork three minutes ago.

He licked his lips and swallowed the lump in his throat. He strode across the floor and towards the stairs. He wondered if Jack was really serious.

Ianto walked into the Hub just as Tosh was powering down her station. Gwen and Owen were no where to be seen.

"Heading out?" Ianto asked Toshiko in a tone that he hoped sounded neutral.

"Jack gave us the rest of the night off. Called it a 'mental health break.'" She flashed him one of those sweet little smiles. "See you in the morning."

"Good night," he managed to keep his voice from cracking. Jack had_ actually_ sent them all home, even Tosh.

He looked at his watch. Nine full minutes had elapsed since Jack had left him in the morgue.

He swallowed again and crossed the distance to Jack's office. Nine and a half minutes since Jack had left him in the morgue.

He watched the minute hand tick away the last thirty seconds before stepping into the Captain's office.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but Jack sitting at his desk filling out paperwork wasn't it.

Maybe Jack hadn't been serious. The Captain didn't even look up as he came in.

Ianto cleared his throat. "I erm…"

"Give me two seconds," Jack said, signing his name to whatever he'd been working on. He cast a bright smile up in the younger man's direction. "There. I am officially done for the night."

Ianto returned the smile, wishing he knew what he should do next. He knew what he wanted; he had no doubts at all. He wanted to feel warm again. He wanted to feel alive. He wanted to stop hurting all the time.

He wanted to feel like he had the other night standing on the roof with Jack's coat wrapped around his shoulders.

He wanted to feel like he mattered, just a little bit.

He wanted Jack to make the first move, but it felt as if the other man was waiting on him. He took a step towards Jack's desk; maybe Jack would offer him a drink. A little liquid courage was just what he needed. He shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to smile.

Jack regarded him a moment before getting to his feet and crossing the distance between them. "What do you want?" he asked.

Silently Ianto cursed. He had the answer, but what would Jack think of him if he said aloud all the things running through his head? He wasn't using Jack, but that's what it would sound like. _Only it's not as if he won't get something in return._ Everybody knew what Jack was like; even Ianto had seen him in action at the pub.

Instead of answering, the Welshman leant forward, touching the other man's mouth with his lips. It was a more gentle kiss than the one he'd given Jack on the roof the other night. His let his eyes slide shut when he felt Jack responding. It felt _so_ good… he never would have expected a kiss to be so satisfying. He never wanted it to end.

After what seemed like either an eternity or the blink of an eye, Ianto wasn't honestly sure which, he felt Jack pulling back.

The American Captain's blue eyes were impossible to read.

He studied the younger man for a long moment before leaning in again. Ianto's kiss was sensual, wanting… Jack cupped his face in his hands and felt Ianto's arms wrap around his waist, pulling him closer.

"I want this," Ianto found his voice at last. He kissed Jack, harder this time as if he wanted to make sure there was no room for doubt as to his intentions. His tongue played roughly at the older man's lips and when Jack yielded, he took control of the kiss, pulling Jack's tongue forcefully into his mouth. "I want this," he repeated in between fierce kisses, "I want _you_."

"Pace yourself, Tiger," Jack teased him a moment later, pulling completely away from the young Welshman. He regretted his words as soon as he saw the hurt on the younger man's face. "We've got all night," he added, trying to take the sting out of what he'd said.

"Sorry, I…" Ianto floundered. He shoved his hands back into his pockets hoping he wasn't coming off as foolishly naïve as he felt. _I want you_, what kind of a stupid pre-pubescent line was that? Jack probably thought he was an idiot.

Jack perched himself on the edge of his desk facing the younger man. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he said at last. He held out his hand and Ianto took it allowing himself to be drawn closer. Jack kissed his lips gently, enticing the younger man into a proper kiss. Something gentler. More sensual. "Rough is nice," he said, "I can do rough. You'll like me when I do rough," he added with a wicked grin that garnered a blush in the younger man. "But tonight let's try something a little slower."

"Yeah. Yeah, all right." He kissed Jack back. It felt good, but slower meant time to think. Time to worry. He didn't want to think or worry; he just wanted Jack to take him…

Ianto gave a startled look when Jack started to undo his tie.

"I hate ties," he murmured. "Well… they do look good on you," he arched his eyebrows. "And they have other uses." His smirk garnered the sort of blush he'd only expect out of someone who understood what those other uses were. He dropped the tie on his desk, filing that thought away for later.

Ianto swallowed. He forced himself to stand still as Jack undid the buttons of his shirt; he helped the other man take him out of his shirt and jacket, suddenly feeling self conscious of his body. He'd never seen Jack without a T-shirt, but if his chest was anything like his arms…

The softness of Jack's touch when he caressed his chest surprised him.

"You should get more sun," Jack said softly.

"No time, really."

Jack smiled, "Yeah. Maybe we should go to the beach sometime. The whole team," he clarified.

"You just want to get Gwen in a bathing suit," Ianto found the courage to tease him.

Jack smirked. "Don't you?"

The younger man blinked, blushing. "I… never really thought about her that way to be honest."

Jack just continued to give him the same wicked grin. "It's Toshiko I'd like to see in a bathing suit," he confided. "But if you tell her I said that, you'll find a Weevil in your closet."

Ianto laughed at the unexpected joke. "Your secret's safe with me, Sir."

"Jack," the Captain corrected him in a soft tone. "Tonight, it's just Jack."

"Jack," Ianto agreed, leaning forward. He was rewarded by another one of those kisses that went all through him, filling him up with warmth and that incredible scent that Jack claimed was completely natural. It seemed to have gotten stronger, too, consuming him in spicy musk and fire.

The older man stood up without breaking the kiss; he turned them so that it was Ianto sitting on the edge of the desk.

He kissed the Welshman harder and felt strong hands pulling him closer. When he broke away again, it seemed to be accompanied with less discomfort on the other man's part. He wondered what it was that upset Ianto so much when their lips separated like that. He decided to file that away for later, too.

He also realized that Ianto was watching him, like he _really_ wasn't sure what to do next, but he knew the boy wasn't a virgin… unless... "You've never done this before, have you?" he asked.

The younger man swallowed, his gaze falling to the floor. He wanted say that of course he had, but he was sure Jack would see right through him if he lied.

Bracing himself for possible rejection because of lack of experience, Ianto shook his head. "Not with a man, no," he confided in a soft tone, forcing himself to meet Jack's gaze. "Does… does that bother you?" _Dear God, please let him say no… _which was probably a stupid prayer, he realized, given what his parents had to say about his sexuality…

Jack's smile was difficult to read. It was soft. Playful, but not unkind. "No," he said at last and Ianto let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Jack flipped open that strap-thing he wore on his left wrist; Ianto didn't know what it was, but it seemed to be some kind of controller for the electronics in the Hub. With the touch of a button, the lighting in the office dimmed. "Better?" he asked with another soft kiss to the younger man's lips.

Dumbly, he nodded. None of this was what he had expected. He had thought there might be a drink or two involved. Not enough to get him drunk, Jack had been clear on that point, but he had anticipated at least one drink to loosen things up a little. After that he'd thought there might be a couple of kisses, just to get things started and then they'd shag and he'd be home in plenty time for the ten o'clock news.

But for the hour or so that he'd expected it would take them to do whatever it was they were actually going to do, he would be alive. He would be warm. He wouldn't hurt.

And he wasn't just using Jack, he _really _wanted to be here. He wanted everything Jack had to offer and he was willing to give him whatever he wanted in return. Today of all days, he was sure that Jack needed that as much as he did.

Even so, hadn't expected soft, patient kisses and gentle caressing. He hadn't expected Jack to care if he'd ever been with a man before or not. He'd expected that if Jack perceived any lack of experience on his part, he'd just compensate for it since he clearly had enough experience for the two of them put together. He hadn't expected that he would be left with so much time to think and worry.

"I _am_ bisexual, Jack," he said quickly before he lost his nerve. "I've known it for a long time. I've just never… never _been_ with a man."

The Captain blinked, startled by the sudden confession and the courage he knew it must have taken to make it. This century was hung up on labels, titles, tidy little boxes into which every facet of human emotion was supposed to fit. Of all those labels, bisexual was one of the least comfortable. "I guess as long as I don't have to worry that I'm corrupting you or something," he teased, raising his eyebrows a little.

Ianto's laugh was nervous, but something in his blue eyes told the older man that there was more beneath the surface than he'd guessed at previously, "No worries, there," the Welshman assured him.

"Oh really now?" Jack queried with a lascivious smirk.

"Really."

Jack slipped his braces down around his waist and removed both his shirt and undershirt, revealing exactly the kind of physique Ianto had expected.

He cupped the younger man's face in both hands and drew him into a deep kiss. Before Ianto knew what had happened, his pants, socks and shoes joined his shirt and jacket and he suddenly felt exposed…

But then Jack kissed mouth again. His neck. His throat. His shoulders. He ran strong hands down his back and Ianto felt his body surrendering completely. Anything the older man wanted was his…

Jack kissed and caressed his way down the Ianto's chest until he reached his goal, thoroughly enjoying the way the young Welshman shuddered when he got there.

Ianto's hips bucking gently under his ministrations and when Jack took in all of him, his groan was truly a beautiful sound… Jack groaned in return, knowing what the vibration in his throat would do to the younger man.

Ianto shuddered again, murmuring incoherently about how close he was to coming. With both hands, Jack eased him forward on the edge of the desk, exposing his backside. The younger man braced himself expecting… but all Jack did was caress him there gently, first with his fingers then the warmth of his mouth… the sensation sent shivers up his spine; no one had ever touched him like that before.

Then he groaned in agony as Jack pulled slowly back away from him, quite a while later, placing little kisses on the younger man's over heated flesh as he went. Every touch made him shake, wanting more.

Jack looked up into those big grey-glue eyes, glazed over with desperate need and smiled. _No, I'm not done,_ he assured the younger man silently. "Stay put," he said aloud. "I'll be right back."

"Yeah. Yeah, sure," was all Ianto could say. He couldn't have moved if he'd wanted to.

Jack slipped down the hole in the floor to his quarters and he spent the next few minutes trying very hard not to think about what he was going to do to measure up to _that_ when it was his turn.

"Ianto! A little help here," the Captain's voice yanked the younger man out of his thoughts.

Ianto blinked. There was something coming up from the hole… a blanket? He reached down and pulled it up. It was the duvet from Jack's bed.

Jack followed the blanket up the ladder. He was carrying a bottle of something (Ianto could guess what it was, but he preferred not think about it because sometimes it was better not to think.)

He set the bottle down on his desk, at which point Ianto noticed the condom packets and a pair of latex gloves Jack had also been carrying.

The Welshman had to look away, hoping he wasn't blushing.

"I thought the blanket might make things a little more comfortable," Jack said, as if not noticing his reaction at all.

"Ah. Good idea," Ianto agreed, sure that that had come out sounding lame. Just the same, he spread the blanket out on the floor. Only he wasn't sure what he was expected to do next. He could see quite clearly that Jack was hard, but the thought of trying to follow up the Captain's performance was intimidating. Hopefully Jack would just want to use those things he'd put on his desk and not expect much else…

He watched Jack kick off his boots and strip down the rest of the way and tried very hard not to panic because suddenly saying that Jack was well built took on a whole new meaning.

Jack sat down on the blanket and held his hand out to the younger man. Ianto put his hand in his and let himself be drawn in close. Jack leant back, bringing Ianto with him, wishing he'd brought up a couple of pillows as well.

_Next time,_ he promised himself.

He drew the nervous looking younger man into a kiss because it seemed like every time they kissed, he relaxed. He let his fingers play over Ianto's bare flesh for a few moments, feeling gooseflesh rise and wondering if he should offer a glass of wine or something. Drinks and food were an integral part of this century's courtship rituals... and the right kind of food could be a great deal of fun.

Jack started mentally running through what he had in the fridge, wishing he'd known ahead of time that Ianto was going to proposition him tonight. _Definitely wouldn't have finished off the whipped cream last night if I'd known I was going to get this tonight… _

Ianto leant back and looked at him. "Have… have you ever been with… with someone who's never done this before?" he asked. He hoped the room was dark enough to conceal how red his cheeks were becoming.

Jack ran his hand along the Welshman's face, drawing him into another soft kiss. "You have_ nothing_ to worry about. Ok?"

He nodded, licking his lips nervously. "Yeah. Yeah, ok."

"I mean, it, Ianto. You can trust me."

The younger man swallowed. He nodded. He knew he could trust Jack. He trusted Jack like he'd never trusted anybody before in his life, but he was still nervous. "So… should I be… facing the other way, or something?" he tried remember what he'd seen in the couple of porn magazines he'd ever had the nerve to pick up over the years.

Jack's smile wasn't unkind. "No. I want to see your face." He laid the younger man gently on his back, noting the uncertain expression he was wearing. "And we're nowhere near there, anyway, because when I said all night, I meant it, Jones, Ianto Jones," his grin turned mischievous. Before Ianto could respond, he kissed his way down the younger man's body again…

……………………………………………………………………..

Jack eased himself out of the younger man slowly, carefully, then he leant in and kissed him, long and hard. "Stay there," he breathed into Ianto's ear before getting to his feet. "I'll be right back."

Ianto just nodded. His mouth was on fire with that last kiss… his whole body tingled… He watched Jack pad out of the room. He didn't know where he was going, but it didn't matter. He felt… alive. Warm. He closed his eyes and just let himself revel in how good it felt…

It faded quickly though, as his analytical mind took over and filled him with uncertainty. What should he do next, he wondered. What was _tomorrow_ going to be like? There was no way they could go back to their regular routine after the last... he glanced at his watch not even knowing how long they'd been at it.

Shit. It was two o'clock in the morning. It had been barely four when Jack sent everyone else home.

He should go home, too, he realized. He highly doubted his boss wanted him to stick around, after all. Jack would want to get some sleep. He should get some sleep.

_I'm not going to be able to sleep._

But Jack had asked him to stay there. He couldn't fathom why.

Jack came back into the office; it looked like he'd disposed of the evidence and cleaned up a little.

He sat back down, propping himself up against his desk and pulled the younger man into his arms. Ianto didn't resist, but gave him another one of those startled little looks, the ones he gave when he was on the receiving end of some unexpected kindness.

"You ok?" he asked, wondering if Ianto was going to regret this in the morning… if he was regretting it now. Wondering what it would mean to their friendship and wondering why it mattered so much to him.

_Maybe it's guilt,_ Jack thought.

He'd missed so much the last few months, especially the whole thing with Lisa Hallett. He should have seen how miserable Ianto was. He should have seen a half converted Cyberman in his own basement.

"Yeah. I'm fine," Ianto's tone wasn't convincing. "Thanks. For asking."

Unsure what else to do, Jack pulled him closer, placing a soft kiss on the top of the younger man's head. He didn't know why he cared so much, but he did. Something about Ianto pulled at him… _Guilt,_ Jack told himself again. But whatever it was, he couldn't help but enjoy the way the younger man's body felt pressed up against his.

Ianto allowed himself to be held; he hadn't expected this out of Jack Harkness, either.

_But maybe I should have,_ he realized.

Maybe he should have remembered all the little things Jack had done, had tried to do since… since Lisa. All the things Jack had done before he'd found out about her. But the Welshman had been too consumed with rage and pain to notice.

Looking back now, he realized Jack had never been the ogre he'd wanted him to be. He'd just needed somebody to blame and anybody under the label 'Torchwood' was fair game. But Jack wasn't like anyone at Torchwood London. He wasn't like anyone Ianto had ever known.

_Torchwood London would have stuck Myfanwy in a cage… or worse yet, dissected her. _Jack gave her a home, a place to feel safe… he took care of her.

He looked up at the dark haired American Captain, _You gave me a home,_ he thought in the other man's direction. _You gave me a place to feel safe… a reason to get out of bed in the morning. _For the first time in months, he didn't hurt at all.

Jack ran his fingers up and down Ianto's arm, without seeming to notice what he was doing. "Not bad for a first time?" he asked, a hint of a smile playing at his lips.

Ianto returned it. "No… no, not bad at all."

"You going to be all right tomorrow?" he teased, although he was asking about more than just Ianto's physical condition. He wanted to know that _they_ were going to be all right tomorrow, because even though Ianto professed bisexuality, this century still had so many stupid hang-ups…

Ianto's smile deepened, "Tomorrow… tomorrow I'll be fine. Just don't ask me to do too much more tonight," he teased back.

"You're off the clock until morning," Jack promised, leaning in and kissing the younger man. He was all right. _They_ were all right.

"Can… can I ask you a question?" Ianto asked after several long minutes of truly comfortable silence had passed between them.

"Sure."

"What… what exactly… I mean… what is this?" he wasn't sure he wanted the answer, but labels, titles, the things he organized his life by, he needed those. He just hoped that the answer wouldn't be anything along the lines of 'one night stand.'

Jack's brows furrowed slightly. "I don't know. What do you want it to be?"

Ianto considered the question carefully before answering. "Nothing we do after hours will ever affect our working relationship, Jack. Or our friendship."

Jack smiled. "I'm sure it won't," he leant in and kissed him again.

Ianto returned it eagerly, but when lips and tongues untangled, he said that he should get home. It really was getting late.

Jack nodded. "I'll get dressed, and walk you out."

"Thanks."


	43. Practice Makes Perfect

**Thank you again! **I hope this doesn't disappoint… after some of the reviews on the last chapter, it feels like I've got something to live up to here ;-)

Another fluffy little chapter, with just a wee bit of smut thrown in because it's Jack and Ianto…. Follows directly after the last chapter.

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**Chapter Forty Three: Practice Makes Perfect**

……………………………………………..

Despite Jack's telling him to take the morning off, Ianto arrived at the Hub at his usual time. He _had_ managed to sleep, and would have preferred to sleep in late, but if there was going to be any awkwardness after last night, he wanted to know about it before the others arrived for the day.

If they figured out that something was going on, Gwen and Tosh would probably be all right about it, but Owen would be unbearable. Still, Ianto liked Jack's idea about Weevils in closets…

Smirking quietly to himself over the mental image Owen finding Janet in his wardrobe, Ianto unlocked the door of the Tourist Office and let himself in. He locked it behind him, and left the sign flipped to closed. No one would expect them to be open for several more hours, anyway.

When cog door rolled aside admitting him to the Hub, he was surprised to see Jack up and about – and about to start the coffee machine.

"Looks as if I've arrived in the nick of time," he said to the Captain's startled look.

"I thought I told you to take the morning off."

Ianto was still smirking at his private joke. "And if I had, you would have made a mess of her," he said of the machine. "So I think we should both be grateful that I decided to ignore the suggestion." He placed himself between Jack (who was wearing only his T-shirt, trousers, braces and socks) and the machine.

"Why Ianto Jones, I had no idea you were so possessive," Jack teased him, letting one hand rest on the younger man's hip.

Ianto chuckled, "Only about the things that really matter." Suddenly he blushed. _God, I hope he doesn't take that the wrong way…_ only Ianto wasn't sure himself what the 'wrong way' was. It didn't get any easier to figure out when he felt Jack's lips on the back of his neck. "If you leave a mark," he breathed, but couldn't finish that thought either as the Captain's hands drifted forward, rubbing him gently. "Jack… please…"

"I'm trying to please," he purred into the younger man's ear. "And if you give me half a chance, I promise you'll be _very_ pleased."

"It's… barely… been… five…five hours," Ianto stammered.

"Which gives us about an hour before the others show up," Jack countered in a sly tone.

Ianto swallowed and pulled away from the other man just enough so he could turn around to face him.

"Unless of course you suddenly don't want me," Jack added with a look of hurt that Ianto almost believed might be genuine.

He leant in and kissed the American. "Of course I want you. Last night was fantastic," he realized he'd played right into Jack's ruse. The Captain had been fishing for compliments, he could tell by the smirk on his face. Ianto stifled a sigh. He _really_ shouldn't have been fooled, he knew what Jack was like. "I'm just a bit concerned about the time, is all," he said, glancing at his watch.

"So we'll make it quick," Jack assured him, his hands already moving for Ianto's zipper. "I can do you… then you can do me…" he grinned enticingly. "Unless you can think of a _better _way to start the day," he added, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "I'm always up for trying new things."

"Jack I… you realize I… I've never… " he blushed, unable to finish the sentence. He didn't want Jack to think he was naïve, but there were so many things he'd never done. He knew he was never going to measure up to Jack's skills at any of this. "You know I've never been with a man before last night. There's no way… I mean… you're really good at that…" he faltered, feeling like an idiot.

Jack flashed one of those cocky little smiles. "Glad you think so. And don't worry," he added before going to work on the younger man. "After all, practice makes perfect."

Ianto's eyes widened, but he couldn't think of anything to say to that. A moment later he couldn't think about anything at all…

………………………………………………………………

Jack leant back against the counter watching as Ianto straightening himself up a bit, smiling. The younger man was inexperienced but eager to please. _And practice really does make perfect,_ he reminded himself, hoping for many, many opportunities to practice in the near future.

He pulled himself away from the counter and adjusted the Welshman's tie, then smoothed his hands over Ianto's jacket, ignoring the younger man's bewildered look. "There. Nobody will ever know," he winked, giving his jacket a last tug.

Ianto flashed a shy smile; Jack had surprised him yet again with his sudden burst of… of whatever it was that had prompted him to straighten his tie and smooth out his jacket. It was the sort of thing Ianto had seen his mother do with his father, with almost the same contented look on her face as Jack was giving him now.

"What about the security footage?" he asked, turning back to the task of making coffee.

"I'll erase it as soon as I get dressed," the Captain promised, although instead of leaving, Jack went back to leaning against the counter, admiring the view.

Ianto gave him a little smile over his shoulder when he became aware that Jack was watching him. "And last night's footage?" He inquired.

"I killed the feed to my office before you got there. I wouldn't want our after hours activities becoming office gossip," he smirked in way that suggested he might not really mind at all if it did.

Even so, something about that statement made Ianto feel warm; it sounded like Jack wanted to keep doing whatever it was that they were doing. He wanted to keep doing it too, even if it he didn't have a name for it yet.

"I should go get dressed and deal with that little 'security' issue," said Jack.

The younger man nodded, "Shall I bring a cup to your office, then?"

Jack's smile turned mischievous. "You know, maybe we should review those tapes together before I erase them," he raised his eyebrows.

Ianto blushed bright red.

The alarm sounded, announcing someone's opening the secret door in the Tourist Office upstairs.

Without waiting for Ianto's answer, Jack headed to his office, his hands tucked into his pockets, humming some tune Ianto couldn't name, but sounded familiar nonetheless.

Suddenly Jack turned around, just as Tosh came through the cog door. "Say, Ianto," Jack called to him. "I'm expecting a package in the mail from a friend in Toronto," he flashed Toshiko a pleasant 'good morning' smile. "Could you keep an eye out for it, for me?"

"Of course, Sir," Ianto said in his usual professional tone. He knew then that there wasn't going to be the sort of morning-after awkwardness he'd dreaded. _But it's certainly going to be interesting,_ he thought, stealing a quick glance at Jack's retreating form and enjoying what he saw.

Humming to himself, he started a second pot of coffee for Tosh and the others, because Jack's industrial strength brew truly was _not_ fit for human consumption.

"You're in a good mood this morning," Toshiko observed, joining him at the coffee station. "Did you enjoy your evening off?"

"Yes, thanks. You?" he asked her politely.

"It was all right I suppose. Sometimes it's hard to leave this place behind at the end of the day, though."

Ianto smiled a private little smile, "I know exactly what you mean. Well, if you'll excuse me," he picked up Jack's coffee cup, "I'd better get this to him before he starts bellowing."

Tosh giggled.

"The regular strength should be done in a moment," he added.

"Ianto," she said as he was turning to leave. "I don't know if any of us has ever said this… but I know I speak for everyone when I say how much we really appreciate having you here."

His smile deepened. "Thank you. That means a lot to hear."


	44. The Package from Toronto

**A/N: First Thank you so much for the reviews on the last couple of chapters. I really appreciate them. **

**I'm posting two chapters at once because this one is really short… just a bit of silly fluff, setting the stage for something later on. (See note at end for more information.)**

* * *

**Chapter Forty Four: The Package from Toronto**

……………………………………………………

Ianto was only mildly surprised to find a package from Toronto, Ontario, delivered with the regular Tourist Office mail a few days after Jack had asked him to keep an eye out for it.

It wasn't a terribly big or important looking package. It was just a bit larger than a hardcover novel, wrapped simply in brown paper and addressed by hand to Captain J. Harkness, care of the Tourist Office. Since Jack had made special mention of it, Ianto locked up the Office and slipped downstairs to give it to him.

As he trod down the steps he read the return address, curiosity having gotten the better of him. The sender was a Mr. H. Fitzroy of Queen Street, Toronto. It appeared to be an apartment, and therefore Mr. Fitzroy was definitely a civilian. Or at least he was sending something to Jack as a civilian because otherwise the return address would have been from some government agency.

But it was hard to imagine Jack with civilian friends… it was hard to imagine Jack with friends at all, really. As far as anyone knew, he didn't have a life outside Torchwood any more than the rest of them did.

Still, Ianto liked to think that he had a _few_ friends. Or at least close acquaintances. Childhood friends, he supposed.

_Right,_ Ianto told himself as the cog door rolled aside. _The last time I spoke to someone outside of Torchwood was before I started working for Torchwood. _Unless one wanted to count the occasional phone calls to UNIT, which Ianto most certainly did not want to count.

He found Jack in his office. "That package arrived for you," he said holding it up.

The announcement garnered a toothy grin. "Yes! I've been waiting for this," he stood up and took it from the younger man's hands, eagerly.

"I should be getting back up…"

"Did you lock the door?"

"I _always_ lock the door when I leave the Tourist Office, Jack."

"Have a seat," Jack invited, sitting back down in his chair. "You might like these."

That only left the edge of the Captain's desk and that seemed rude… Then again, given the things they'd already done on the desk… Ianto perched on the edge of it, facing Jack. "So what is it?" he asked, although in all honesty he shuddered to think what had the other man so excited; the Captain's grin was as eager as a kid's at Christmas as he tore into the package.

Ianto blinked at what was inside. "Comic books, Jack?"

"Graphic novels," he corrected of the two thick volumes. "And it looks like Henry has himself a new muse," he held up the second book. "She's cute, huh?"

"You mean she's a real person?" Ianto asked of the exaggerated, if admittedly well drawn, female character who adorned the front cover in full comic-book style glory.

Jack smirked, "If you're nice, I'll let you see his work from when_ I_ was his favourite muse. Completely behind my back, of course."

"Oh of course," Ianto droned. He handed the book back over, "No offence, but I'll leave you to your 'graphic novels.'" He never would have pictured Jack as the type of person to enjoy that sort of tripe, even if it did seem as if he'd probably dated the artist. Or at least slept with him.

"Before you go back up, would you work some of that coffee magic?" Jack asked, leaning back in his desk with the first book in his hands.

"I live to serve."

"I'll remember you said that later," Jack assured him with a lascivious grin that left the younger man blushing.

By the time Ianto placed a cup on the corner of Jack's desk, he was half way through graphic novel, but he managed to look up just as the younger man was leaving to catch a glimpse at the Welshman's behind. "By the way, is that a new suit?" he called after him.

Ianto turned, surprised that Jack had even noticed. "Yes." He stopped himself short of asking whether or not Jack liked it. Unlike _some people_ he wasn't one to fish for compliments.

The Captain smirked, his brows arching suggestively in the younger man's direction. "It's going to look great crumpled up on the floor later."

"Shall I assume I'm working late tonight, then?"

"Only if you want to," Jack gave him a look of feigned innocence that made the Welshman laugh.

"Another late night, it is, Sir," he confirmed before leaving Jack to finish his book. Maybe it was a good thing he didn't have friends outside of work, Ianto thought ruefully as he headed back up to the Tourist Office.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm using the Henry Fitzroy of the television series not the books, although I've read most of them. As a whole, I'm more happy the television series… besides, I couldn't see Jack getting excited about a new romance novel… ;-) If you're familiar with neither, don't sweat it. This was one of those obnoxious little plot bunnies that came to me in the middle of the night because much like Jack, as far as Henry is concerned, anything with a pulse is fair game and wouldn't they have made a cute couple…

And clearly Henry Fitzroy doesn't belong to me, the honour goes to Tanya Huff and the creative development people worked on it for Lifetime. (I think it was Lifetime, anyway, that did the series for television.)


	45. Out of Time

**Setting: **Just after the episode **Out of Time. **(Season 1, episode 10... it's the one where three people slip through the rift from 1953. Only one makes the adjustment to 21st century life. All in all, I think it's the saddest story of Season 1.)

* * *

**Chapter Forty Five: Out of Time**

……………………………………………..

Ianto looked up from his workstation in the Hub as the alarm sounded, announcing – he hoped – Jack's return. His greeting died in his throat when he saw the look on the Captain's face.

"He…he's gone." Jack said in soft tone.

"I'm sorry," the younger man spoke the only words that came to mind. The pain in Jack's blue eyes told him that it wasn't nearly enough, but it was all he had to offer. "What happened?"

"He couldn't live in this time." Jack slid his coat off and let Ianto take it.

John Ellis had asked him how he coped living out of his own time, alone… _so completely alone… _in the last hour Jack had felt more alone than he had in over a century. More alone than he had since he first found himself stranded in Cardiff, a hundred and fifty years too early to find the Doctor.

_It's just bearable; I don't have a choice, _he'd told John.

_But I do, _had been the other man's reply.

How many times had Jack put himself in harm's way_ hoping_ he would die? Hoping something would finally kill him.

"Can I get you anything?"

Jack looked up at the sound of the soft voice; for a second he'd forgotten Ianto was there.

He forced a smile, "No. I… I've got a lot of work to do. Why don't you take the SUV and go home. I'll have your car back in the morning," he added. He didn't want to tell Ianto that a man had used his car to kill himself.

"I don't mind sticking around for a while. Maybe I could give you a hand?" The younger man offered tentatively. He wanted to stay, but he didn't know how to say it.

Jack shook his head, completely missing the look in Ianto's eyes. "It's pretty straightforward. Go on home and get some sleep."

Ianto studied him a moment more, uncertainty playing across his features. Finally he took the keys to the SUV and said good night.

Jack watched him leave without really watching him, not the way he usually did.

Myfanwy glided by over head; Jack looked up at her and smiled. "Just you and me tonight, huh?" he said to the pterodactyl. She circled the Hub once and vanished into her alcove.

Jack went to his office and poured himself a glass of scotch before settling in to work on erasing the carefully constructed records Ianto had created for John Ellis just a few days ago. In less than five minutes, the man was dead again. Worse than dead, it was like he'd never existed, at least not in this lifetime. The only John Ellis that remained was the one who had died in 1953.

_How many more just like him am I going to bury before it's all over?_ Jack wondered. _Hell, I don't even know that it's ever going to __**be**__ all over._ He poured a second glass of scotch and downed it more quickly than he should have.

Almost a hundred and fifty years had passed since he'd been abandoned by the Doctor and he hardly looked any older than he did the day he stood there watching the TARDIS disappearing without him.

_Why did you leave me?_ He asked again, possibly for the hundred millionth time since that day. _What did I do that was so unforgivable that you'd just… just __**leave **__me there, without even a __**goodbye**__… _Jack felt a fresh surge of emotion overtaking him. He didn't bother trying to suppress it; there was no one around to see him cry anyway.

He poured another shot of scotch into his glass. _I was willing to die for you. For both of you… _

He wiped the moisture from his cheeks. "You turned me into a better man and then you turned your back on me," he raised his glass to the absent Time Lord. "And some days I don't know whether I love you or I hate you." He finished his drink and glanced at the clock.

It would take at least a couple of hours to get to Ianto's car – John's body – on foot. But ever since waking up after that first time he'd died, he barely slept, hardly got tired. Recovered entirely too quickly from drinking. He stared at his empty glass but there wasn't much point in a fourth shot. He left the glass on his desk to clean up later, grabbed his coat and headed out.

………………………………………………..

Pulling Ianto's (annoyingly small) sedan into the car park, Jack frowned at the sight of the SUV sitting in its usual spot. What in the Hell was the Welshman doing back here at two o'clock in the morning? Early for work was one thing, but this was bordering on ridiculous.

Leaving John's body where it was – no one came this way, this time of night, anyway – Jack entered the Hub through the Tourist Office.

Ianto blinked up at him from the sofa behind Tosh's station; clearly he'd been asleep when the alarm sounded. His short hair was uncharacteristically tussled and he let out a wide yawn. More surprising than Ianto asleep in the Hub, however, was Ianto asleep in the Hub wearing jeans and a hooded jersey. "You're back," he ran his fingers through his hair as he sat up.

"So are you," Jack settled his hands on his hips.

The younger man suddenly felt foolish. He'd come back about an hour after leaving Jack alone because he hadn't wanted to leave in the first place. He'd known that over the last few days Jack and John had grown close, that something about John resonated with Jack, that they clicked. If he'd thought Jack was interested in older men he might have been jealous, but it didn't feel like that kind of a connection. Ianto wasn't sure what it was, he just knew that Jack had taken the older man's death a lot harder than he was trying to let on.

But when he'd dismissed Ianto for the night, the Welshman hadn't known how to say he wanted to stay. He'd used the only tactics he could think of and been turned down. Only as soon as he got home, he knew leaving had been a mistake. Jack shouldn't have to deal with this alone.

Now, however, he wasn't so sure he'd made the right decision in coming back.

The Captain's frown deepened and Ianto realized he was waiting for some kind of explanation. "I… I left something for you in the kitchen," he shrugged, pulling himself to his feet. "I guess I dozed off waiting for you." He didn't quite meet Jack's gaze, but he could tell by the older man's expression that he wasn't entirely satisfied with the explanation.

"If you give me a few minutes, you can have your car back," was all Jack said, however.

"Do you need a hand?"

Jack considered; he didn't really want Ianto to know that a man had died in his car, but he was here and carrying John down to the morgue would be easier with his help. "Sure."

Wordlessly, Ianto followed him outside. He felt like an idiot for coming back to the Hub in the middle of the night like some starry eyed teenager. He knew he was going to feel like an even_ bigger_ idiot when Jack got around to going into the kitchen and discovered what he'd brought back to the Hub with him. Maybe tomorrow would be a good day to call in sick; he hadn't taken a single day off since coming to work for Jack.

Ianto didn't speak again until they were leaving the morgue. "I am sorry, Jack." He wished he had more to offer, but he didn't know whatelse to say or do.

The Captain shrugged, "He didn't know how to cope living out of his own time," his tone was distant. Strained. Something about John's suicide had hurt him in a way Ianto didn't understand, but the hurt was palpable. Jack stuffed his hands into his pockets; the look in his eyes was as distant and distracted as his tone. "His wife is gone, his son's an old man…" his voice trailed off.

Ianto couldn't begin to guess what Jack was thinking about. No one knew about Laura, a woman Jack loved and married a century ago. A woman he'd buried just a few years later. Their children were grown, burried… their grandchildren… Jack shook his head.

Estelle was gone now, too. Everybody he had ever loved was dead. Everybody he ever would love would die. Everybody but him. If Daleks and Cybermen couldn't kill him, what could?

"I… I suppose I should get going," the younger man said hesitantly as they reached the main part Hub. "Unless… you want company?"

"You don't have to stay," Jack forced a smile. "It's late."

"Well… good night, Sir," Ianto returned the tight-lipped smile.

"Hey," Jack called as the younger man turned to go. "You said you left something for me in the kitchen?" he asked, recalling the Welshman's statement from earlier.

Ianto blushed. "It… it's nothing. Just… you looked like… I mean… of course you were upset… never mind. It's nothing," he floundered, hastening his retreat. "Good night," he repeated.

Jack watched him leave, suddenly feeling as if he'd just missed something important.

He shook himself and ventured into the kitchen to see what had Ianto so worked up. He stopped short, and smiled. Sitting on the table was a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

Still smiling, he poured himself a glass of milk and took that and the plate into his office. _This is definitely better than more scotch,_ he thought. He honestly couldn't remember the last time someone had done something so completely and unexpectedly thoughtful.

…………………………………………………

Despite the overwhelming urge crawl under a rock and never come out again (or at least call in sick), Ianto arrived at the Hub at his usual time the next morning. As the cog door rolled aside, he braced himself for the ridicule he was sure was to come; he didn't even know what had possessed him to do something so juvenile in the first place.

Jack wasn't immediately waiting to make fun of him, at least. Ianto started the coffee, which usually brought the Captain out of hiding. Today, however, all it got him was 'good morning' hollered at him from the most unexpected of places. The kitchen.

He found Jack standing at the sink, his sleeves rolled up washing dishes. "I thought that was you," the American favoured him with a broad grin.

"Did the rift spit out the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse while I was sleeping?" Ianto couldn't help himself. No matter what kind of jibing he was expecting over the cookies, the sight of Jack washing dishes was too much.

Jack just laughed, "Believe it or not, I'm perfectly capable of doing domestic."

"You're as domestic as Myfanwy," Ianto took the dish from him and wiped it down with the towel that he kept hanging over the sink.

The older man just chuckled a little more. They fell into easy synchronization with Jack washing and Ianto drying. Besides the dish from the cookies and the two glasses from his office, Jack had rounded up a number of coffee cups he'd left laying around the Hub during the day yesterday.

"Thanks, by the way," Jack said quietly, as he rolled down his sleeves after the last dish had been handed over to the younger man for drying and putting away.

Ianto regarded him a moment.

"And I'm sorry I was the way I was last night," Jack added, with a guilty looking half-smile. "You didn't deserve that."

"You were upset."

"That's no excuse."

"Sure it is." Ianto leant up against the counter, "I can't believe you ate them all, though," he teased, mostly in an attempt to change the subject to something less painful for the other man.

"Maybe you'd like to help me work off the extra calories later?" Jack asked, flashing his signature grin. His tone was back to its usual lightness as well.

Ianto just smiled. They both knew the answer to that question was 'yes.' He was still a little surprised when Jack leant forward and kissed him, even though they both knew there wasn't time for anything more before the rest of the team arrived.


	46. The Rules of Buying Gifts

**A/N: **Ok, so this didn't end up going quite the way I thought it would before I got out of bed this morning… in fact it was a little difficult to write because of the way Jack was in Season One, but it was important to keep him true to that. Hopefully I nailed the mark at least close.

Setting: Shortly after **Out of Time**, before **Combat**.

As always, reviews are greatly appreciated!!

* * *

**Chapter Forty Six: Christmas pt. 1 –  
The Rules of Buying Gifts**

……………………………………………..

It was a tradition of the twenty first century to chop down and decorate evergreen trees and exchange gifts during the month of December. It was a tradition that Jack Harkness was both familiar and comfortable with. He'd been doing it for a little over a century and a half and for the most part, he liked to think he had it down to a science.

Toshiko was easy. She and Suzie both, because Jack found himself thinking about her as he wandered around the City Centre looking into shop windows. He would usually buy for both Suzie and Tosh from the same store; they both loved electronics, gadgets and puzzles and they would both grin with delight like little girls…

He had_ so_ many good memories of Suzie Costello that it was making this year a little bit more difficult than usual for him. She had been his first recruit for Torchwood Three. Her ideas had shaped so much of what they did… unfortunately the good times were all overshadowed by what she'd done to Gwen. Before that he could almost have forgiven her, he knew what the job could do to a person, he should have seen the signs, he could blame himself for her misusing the Glove… But he couldn't ever forgive Suzie for what she'd done to Gwen.

Jack heaved a heavy sigh and walked past the electronics store. Everything in there reminded him of Suzie Costello and he didn't want to be reminded of his failures, he wanted to indulge in a little holiday spirit and feel good about himself for change. Maybe he should forget Tosh for the moment and concentrate on Gwen instead, because despite the circumstances of her joining his team, nothing about Gwen Cooper reminded him of Suzie Costello.

Except that Suzie had tried to kill her.

And Gwen had also had an affair with Owen, although it had been shorter lived than Suzie's.

_Why the Hell does __**he**__ get more action at work than I do?_ Jack wondered.

Still, the action he'd been getting lately was nothing to sneeze at. He smiled, letting his mind drift to pleasant thoughts involving the adorable young Welshman who had stalked his way into Torchwood Three.

The past couple of months had been a steady diet of some of the best sex he'd had on this miserable little planet. _I never would have expected it, either,_ he thought. Granted, he'd wanted to peel that boy out of his suit the first time he'd seen him in it, he just hadn't expected to find the experience as rewarding as it was panning out to be. The Welshman had a sexual apatite that almost rivalled his own and so far Jack hadn't proposed anything that the kid wasn't willing to at least try out. _And practice really does make perfect,_ he mused, continuing to grin happily.

He was so lost in pleasant thoughts that almost walked past his destination, a little boutique that sold the sorts of pretty girly things someone like Gwen would appreciate. He didn't imagine that that oaf of a boyfriend of hers had ever picked up on it, but under that tough-girl exterior, with black denim and heavy eyeliner, Gwen was an amazingly soft, beautiful woman… what the Hell had she seen in Owen Harper of all people, he wondered. _Again_.

Not that Jack didn't love Owen, he did, dearly and deeply, he just wanted to see Gwen with somebody who could bring out her soft side. Someone who would appreciate her for who she was. He wanted to see Gwen with a gentleman.

He browsed around the boutique, several items striking him as nearly perfect. Finally he came across a display of sensual smelling perfumes… He tried each of them until he found one that was perfectly Gwen. He could close his eyes and imagine her coming into work smelling like _that_… never mind that with their job it wouldn't last long. Pretty soon she'd smell like sewers and alien guts just like the rest them, but the point was that she start out wearing with this and not the designer knock-off scent she usually wore. _Probably__** that**__ was a gift from the oaf_, Jack thought acerbically.

Unfortunately, Jack knew that buying a woman with whom he wasn't sleeping expensive perfume would only serve to piss off the man with whom she _was_ sleeping. As a result she would probably end up mad at him too.

Ergo, he decided on something a little more innocuous from another part of the store as her Christmas gift. He bought perfume too, hoping that she'd dump the ill tempered oaf sometime soon and be receptive to someone who could show her what a _real _gentleman was capable of.

Maybe _two_ real gentlemen, he mused, as delightfully lascivious thoughts began flitting through his mind again. Ianto might not sit around wondering what Gwen looked like in a bathing suit, but he bet that under the right circumstances… _God, how long has it been since I was in a good multiple-partner relationship? _he wonderedThere were _**so**_ many reasons why Jack hated this century. It was like living in the Dark Ages.

Unfortunately thinking about Ianto left him wondering what he should get for the younger man. He hadn't realized how little he knew about Ianto Jones' personal life until he'd found himself in the position of having to buy him a Christmas present.

If they were merely employer- employee, it would be easy because it wouldn't matter if Ianto liked his gift or not, it would be the thought that counted. If they were just friends, that would be easy too, because a friend would forgive him for buying the wrong thing or misjudging his taste. But Ianto wasn't merely an employee or just a friend and as much as Jack hated labels, right now a label would help because he wasn't honestly sure _what_ Ianto was to him.

Employee – yes, Jack signed his checks.

Friend – absolutely, no question about it.

Lover. Yep. That fit, too. Ianto was _definitely _his lover.

But that word meant something very different to a twenty-first century man than it did to a man born in the fifty-first century, and that was where Jack found himself tripped by social customs.

There were rules for sleeping with women; Jack had learned a few of those by trial and error, earning himself quite a few slaps across the face in the last hundred and fifty years. He might not like the rules, but they made his life easier and if there was one thing Jack was all for, it was making his life easier whenever possible… or so he liked to tell himself.

With his mind still on Ianto, Jack went back to the electronics store to wrap up his shopping for Owen and Toshiko.

He stopped short as the door slid open. There was the adorable Welshman himself, walking out just as Jack was about to walk in. He looked as startled as Jack felt.

"Fancy meeting you here," Jack recovered first, flashing a sly smirk that became distinctly puckish in less than half a heartbeat as he asked, "What's in the bag?"


	47. Falling

**A/N:** this one took an unexpected turn at the end... but I think it feels right... reviews, as always, are GREATLY appreciated (but so is knowing that folks are still reading this, so even if you don't review, I appreciate you!!)

* * *

**Chapter Forty Seven: Happy Christmas (pt. 2):**

**Falling**

……………………………………………..

Ianto swallowed nervously. He wasn't sure why Jack's sudden appearance made his mouth go dry, but it did. "I erm… I'm on my lunch," he explained quickly, even though that hadn't been Jack's question.

Jack glanced at his watch. It was nearly one.

"I didn't leave until half twelve," Ianto told him. He felt like a kid who'd gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar despite the fact that what he did on his lunch was no one's business, not even his boss's.

"So?" Jack asked, his eyes twinkling with puckish mirth. "What's in the bag?"

"Just a bit of holiday shopping." He glanced at the bag Jack was carrying. It was pink and white and had the added touch of bright pink tissue wrapped around whatever was in it. "You?"

"Hmm? Oh, this," Jack held up the bag, his grin broadening to the point that Ianto thougth the Captain's face might honestly crack open. "It's for Gwen," Jack told him. "I got her something from that little place down the way," he motioned the way he'd come, seemingly completely unashamed of where he'd been.

It wasn't the sort of shop men usually went into unless they were being dragged by a girlfriend... or they were buying something for their girlfried... but Jack and Gwen weren't... were they? Ianto blinked. If they were, he didn't know when or where. As far as he knew there were still only twenty four hours in a day and if Jack had the energy for Gwen when he left for the night... just the same, Ianto raised his eyebrows, questioningly.

"What?"

Ianto decided he didn't want to know. "Nothing. I should probably let you get to it…" he hesitated. He couldn't deny – now that his heart rate was slowing back to normal – that running into Jack like this was something of a pleasant surprise. The only time he saw the other man was at work or if they nipped out for a bite to eat together either before or after work.

He'd been dying to get Jack out of the office; he just didn't know how to ask him out on a date. He hesitated again, but it now or never, he told himself. "Erm… unless… I've still got half an hour left, would you like to get some lunch?" he asked hesitantly, bracing himself for some polite refusal. After all, Jack clearly had his own shopping to do…

"Sounds good. Just give me five minutes in here?" Jack asked, nodding towards the electronics store.

"All right," Ianto replied, trying not to look surprised or too giddy (his heart was back to racing again.) Then he wondered what he should do while he waited… if he should go in with Jack… But somehow that seemed rude. There was the used bookstore across the street, "I'm just going to pop across the street there. Come find me when you're through?"

Jack blinked, slightly startled, but then nodded, noting the direction of the Welshman's destination before he headed into the electronics store. He _had_ expected Ianto to follow him in… but the kid probably had his own shopping to finish up and only the boss could take the entire afternoon off if he felt like it. Not that he actually intended to have Ianto back to the office on time, there were plenty of hotels a stone's throw from the City Centre, after all…

Jack shoved his happy little lascivious thoughts to the back of his mind so he could concentrate on Owen and Tosh a moment. They'd both had really rough years. He wanted to do something a little bit special for them… of course Owen was easier. Toshiko knew too much about electronics to be impressed by just anything.

Fifteen minutes later, he found Ianto sitting on the floor at the back of the bookstore, his nose in a book that looked like it had been printed at about the same time as Jack found himself stranded on Earth. Ianto was so engrossed in it that he didn't seem to have heard Jack walk up; the older man didn't mind. There was something incredibly endearing about the way Ianto was sitting there like that… he smiled as a strange, happy surge of warmth over took him. Jack stood there watching for a good five minutes. "Hey," he finally said softly, not really wanting to break the spell, but needing to get Ianto's attention if they were actually going to go and get something to eat.

The younger man looked up startled, and a little embarrassed by how engrossed he knew he must have been. Jack's smile made the feeling vanish immediately, however.

The Captain crouched down next to him. "Sorry I took so long, the line was murder," he continued in the same soft tone, shifting a little closer to Ianto without really realizing it. Something about the younger man was continually tugging at him, drawing him in. "What are you reading?" The text was entirely in Welsh.

"Nothing I could afford," the young man confided with a bit of a sad sigh.

They both stood; Jack got to his feet first and offered the Welshman a hand. He took the book from him and put it back on the top shelf, where it had clearly come from. "Ready to get something to eat?"

"I… should really be getting back to work," Ianto glanced at his watch, feeling a little disappointed, but telling himself he was being silly. He hadn't_ really_ expected to go out to lunch with Jack today, it had been foolish and impulsive of him to even ask. They both had things to be doing that didn't involve each other.

Running into him had been pleasant, though. It was nice to see Jack some place other than work. "Maybe… maybe some other time?" Ianto asked hopefully.

"What's wrong with today?" Jack wanted to know. "Or are you afraid your boss is going to fire you for taking an extra thirty minutes at lunch?" Jack teased him.

Ianto chuckled, "Well it had crossed my mind. I work for a very difficult man, you know. He's a regular slave driver."

"Oh really now?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "I'll remember that the next time you're working late."

Ianto's cheeks turned bright red.

"Unless of course you're saying you'd rather_ not_ work late…" Jack's grin faded quickly with the look the younger man gave him. Did Ianto really think he could lose interest that quickly? His expression was sure saying he did. "How would you like to take the rest of the afternoon off with me?" Jack asked him.

The younger man blinked. "I… " he gulped, "what would the others say?"

"Who cares?"

"What… what did you have in mind?"

"Well," Jack thought for a second. He didn't even know what had prompted him to ask, but he was glad he had. "Lunch. And then… I don't know, what would _you_ like to do?" he asked, deciding to abandon his earlier plans and find out what Ianto really wanted. After all, hadn't he just been bemoaning the fact that he barely knew the man he was currently sleeping with? Maybe this was the perfect opportunity to correct that oversight.

Uncertainty flickered across the younger man's features. "There… there are a couple of new films that just came out…?" Ianto found himself unable to get through a sentence without stuttering and his heart was racing a thousand miles a second again. He was afraid to look Jack directly in the eye, afraid he would think that lunch and a movie sounded too much like a date. _**Did **__I just ask him out on a date? _He wondered. Everybody knew Jack didn't date, he just shagged.

"A movie sounds good," Jack's smile was amenable.

Ianto swallowed, "Ok," he at least managed not to stutter this time. "Erm… where do you want to go for lunch?" he asked as they headed towards the door and out onto the street.

"Anything but Chinese or pizza."

"I thought you liked Chinese and pizza," Ianto looked at him surprised.

"I do. But I feel like something _different_ today. Don't you ever get into those moods?"

He glanced up at Jack, but no, it seemed like a legitimately innocent question. "Sometimes. There's a sandwich shop not too far from here," he suggested. "I go there when I come up to the bookstore."

"So you like old books, huh?" Jack teased him, allowing Ianto to lead the way to the sandwich shop. Only suddenly he realized that the man he was walking with would never get the joke, he had no idea how old he was… _And what would he think if he did?_ Probably nothing good.

"There's something… I don't know… reassuring, I guess, about something that's held up to a century or two. What?" he asked. Jack was laughing at him. He seemed to be trying not to, but Ianto recognized that look.

"It's not what you think, honest," Jack promised him in a tone he hoped was sincere.

"This coming from a man who reads comic books," Ianto countered, almost a little too defensively.

Jack lost the battle with the grin, "For the last time, they're _graphic novels_," he said in a sour tone that had no impact at all.

Ianto laughed too. He would just have to accept the fact that they had entirely different taste in literature… _Not that it matters,_ Ianto reminded himself. They weren't dating. Jack didn't date. Jack shagged. They were shagging. Shagging was good.

So was walking down the street together like this. Ianto cast a smile over at the older man and Jack returned it, causing a surge of happy warmth to rush through him. He knew what was happening, he was just resisting it. He didn't need to get hurt again and he knew that Jack would only hurt him in the end, even though he probably wouldn't do it on purpose. But there was a line from his favourite books, about how love was such a sweet, _sweet_ pain…Ianto wondered if it was really worth it.

He got his answer a little while later in the movie theatre when Jack reached over and took his hand; Ianto twined his fingers into Jack's and closed his eyes for a few moments, letting the warmth overtake him completely. For the next hour and a half nothing else mattered but the way the handsome American Captain sitting next to him made him feel…


	48. A Star Over London

**Thank you again for all the reviews!! They really make my day :-)**

* * *

**Chapter Forty Eight: Happy Christmas (pt. 3):**

**A Star Over London**

……………………………………………..

Jack stood alone on the bank of the river Thames. At least it used to be the Thames, now it was just a muddy river bed with a few dying fish flopping around.

The "star" had been shot down by the army and both army and UNIT personnel were milling around on the other side of the riverbed trying to figure out what had happened.

Jack would have given almost anything to know that, himself. He had never seen an energy signature like the one he was picking up on his wrist-strap as he surveyed the remains of the river. The only thing he was sure of was that the Doctor had been here.

_But he's not here now…_

He sank down to the ground, the weight of a century and a half bearing down on his soul… _assuming I still have one of those, _Jack thought ruefully. He knew he should be more concerned with what had happened, how to fix it, but all he could do was look up at the sky and wonder where_ he_ was…

Five hours ago, Jack had been in the middle of exchanging gifts with his team. His mobile rang just as Ianto was opening up the Jack's gift to him and Jack was feeling very pleased with himself for picking out _two _perfect gifts for the young Welshman. One was for the exchange with rest of the team and the other was something special that he would give to Ianto later, when no one else was around. The younger man was hung up on proprieties and completely over sensitive to the fact that the rest of the team had figured out they were sleeping together.

"It's a lovely tie, Sir, thank you," Ianto flashed a practiced smile across to the other couch where Jack was sitting with his arm around Gwen. For his part, Jack seemed oblivious to the effort behind the smile.

Ianto forced another smile at the rest of the team, knowing full well what they were thinking. After all, it was no longer a secret that he and Jack were shagging, so why had Jack spent so little on him compared to the others?

It was a horribly petty thought and Ianto hated himself for it. It wasn't the price of the gift that mattered, he knew that. But it hurt to have Owen fiddling around with the newest handheld marvel, something that played games, music and movies while Toshiko was taking photoographs with her new top-of-the line digital camera, but all Jack had given_ him_ was a tie.

Was this Jack's way of reminding him he was just the tea-boy? Just the bloody butler? Was _this_ all he meant to Jack? The price of a new tie?

Ianto ignored the sympathetic look in Gwen's big bovine eyes the same way he ignored the fact that Jack didn't even notice he was hurt.

Jack had given _**her **_a bottle of very expensive perfume. That was the sort of gift one gave to someone they were sleeping with. A new tie was the sort of thing Ianto expected from his mother.

And then Jack's mobile rang…

The Captain was out the door five minutes after that, telling the rest of them to stick around until the emergency in London was over and that he'd call if he needed them.

"Stay on your toes, there's no telling what's going on out there," were his parting words. No one missed the giddy look on Jack's face as he ran out of the Hub. There was nothing the Captain loved more than an emergency, it seemed.

Five hours later Parliament issued a statement that the situation had 'been resolved,' thanks mostly to the quick thinking and decisive resolve of Defence Secretary Harry Saxon.

And Jack still hadn't called to check in.

Owen was the first to leave after that, declaring that London wasn't their problem anyway, the rift was and since_ it_ was quiet… "Besides, how much do you wanna bet Jack's buggered off to shag someone he's picked up at the pub in London?" he added. His callousness earned him sharp glares from both Tosh and Gwen.

For a change, Owen had the decency to realize what he'd said, but having his sympathy was even worse than having his contempt. Ianto wished him a Happy Christmas and started tearing apart the coffee machine to give it a good, proper cleaning.

Gwen was the next to leave. Rhys would be waiting up and all that. Ianto didn't bother to tell her good night.

Toshiko found Ianto in the kitchen, gave him a hug, and asked how she could help.

"You don't need to stick around," Ianto told her honestly.

"Nobody should be alone on Christmas Eve, Ianto."

"Thanks."

………………………………………………….

"Any luck, Captain?" asked a familiar female voice at Jack's elbow.

He shook his head; whether Liz Shaw was asking about the Doctor of if he had figured out what had happened to the Thames, the answer was the same. "I can't make heads or tails of these readings," he let her see the small screen on the wrist strap.

"I've never seen anything like it," she agreed.

"Me either. And I think I've got a few centuries on you, technology wise," he winked at her.

Liz chuckled, "To say the least. But what about…?" she let the question trail off.

He shook his head again. The Doctor was nowhere to be seen. "Do you need me to stick around here for a while and help sort this mess out?" he offered.

"We both know he's long gone, Jack," she laid her hand on his arm, knowing that the Captain had no interest in helping UNIT or the army sort out the mess with the Thames. He would stick around for her, if he asked, but she wasn't the reason he wanted to stay. He was hoping the Doctor was still there, somewhere.

Jack stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Why doesn't he _ever_ stick around?" he asked, not bothering to mask his hurt.

"Modest, perhaps?"

That got the laugh Liz had been aiming for. "Are you sure we're talking about the_ same_ Time Lord, Dr. Shaw?"

"Good heavens, I hope so. I should hate to think there was more than one Doctor running around. At least at the same time."

Jack found himself laughing harder, despite the melancholy that had settled over him at missing the Doctor yet again. "Can you imagine all of them getting together…?"

"I don't have to imagine it, thank you very much."

Jack shot her a very startled look. _That_ was a story he hadn't heard before.

"It's a long story."

"I've got all the time in the Universe."

"So you do. I, however, have a very big mess to attend to," she gestured towards the riverbed. "If I need you, I'll call," she added before he could offer again.

Jack gave her his arm as they made their way back up to the road. "Thanks, by the way, for letting me know about the sighting."

"Any time, Captain."

When they got to her jeep he opened the door for her, but before she got in, he asked, "Did you see the footage someone shot on the highway?" He couldn't help but grin, even if it was going to take him a week to get all that footage off the Internet. "I had no idea the TARDIS could do that."

"I'm not sure _he_ had any idea she could do that," Liz countered with a wry grin of her own.

Jack chuckled. He could believe that. "Do your people or UNIT know who the woman was?"

Liz shook her head. "Given how blurry the footage is, I doubt facial recognition software will help, either." She leant up and kissed his cheek. "I am sorry you missed him again, Jack."

"I'll catch up with him some day."

"I'm sure you will. I just hope it goes the way you want it to."

"Me too."

……………………………………………………….

Ianto was pulled from restless sleep by the ringing of his phone. It was nearly two o'clock in the morning. He had convinced Toshiko to go home at eleven and had left the Hub himself shortly thereafter.

"Hello?" he said, finally getting the receiver to his ear.

"Were you asleep?"

"Hello, Jack. Yes. Most people are asleep at this hour."

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Is there any way I can convince you to come back to the Hub?" the Captain asked in a hopeful tone.

Ianto sighed. Only Jack would pull something like this. _And only __**I**__ would give in to it. _He could just imagine Gwen telling Jack where to go and how to get there if he'd called _her_ at two in the morning and asked_ her_ to come back in to work for no good reason. "Are you there now?" Ianto inquired.

"I'm about half an hour out."

"All right. I'll see you when you get there." He hung up. He didn't have time for a shower, just a quick shave, although he wasn't sure why he was bothering.

He was tempted to put on his new bloody tie but instead Ianto opted for jeans and a jersey. There was no reason to be bitter. Besides, the fact that Jack had managed to pick out something tasteful showed that he _was_ thinking.

……………………………………………………..

As soon as the alarm sounded to announce Jack's arrival, Ianto poured his coffee. He'd started the pot as soon as he arrived and by the time the older man crossed the distance from the threshold to the coffee station, Ianto was handing him his cup.

"You are a prince amongst men, Ianto Jones," Jack smiled appreciatively.

"I try my best, Sir," Ianto returned the smile, leaning up against the counter. It was hard to stay angry at Jack for any length of time. "I hope you don't mind my not dressing for work," he added. "But it was two o'clock in the morning when you called."

Jack took another sip of coffee and cast a sly little smile at the man who had made it for him. "I didn't call you here for work."

Ianto nodded in return. He hadn't expected so. "How's London?" he asked, genuinely concerned. He knew what Jack wanted him for, but first he wanted to know what had happened out there. It had been a horrible to have to watch, knowing there was nothing they could do about it. Even if Jack had taken them… which he hadn't… _Although I suppose he felt he needed us here in case something happened with the rift._

"They're a shaken up, but when I left, UNIT and the army seemed to have it under control."

Ianto nodded again. After Owen and Gwen left, Tosh told him how Jack had done the very same thing last year, when the Sycorax invaded. It was right after that that the mysterious hand-in-a-jar had shown up in the Hub.

"So," Ianto forced a cheerful smile, "You needed me for something?"

The older man's eyes twinkled with mirth, "I have something for you." He flashed a Cheshire cat grin.

The younger man rolled his eyes and groaned, "You_ really _need to come up with some new lines, Jack."

"You never seemed to mind my lines before," he managed to look almost hurt. "Besides I _do_ have something for you." He leant in kissed Ianto's soft lips. The younger man yielded to him without hesitation and Jack was very glad that their last kiss hadn't really been their last kiss. He drew the young man in closer, loving the way the his body felt… _God, if I'd only met you a hundred years ago,_ he thought. A hundred years ago and they could have had so much… "I'll be right back," Jack promised softly when he finally drew away from the Welshman.

Ianto took both their coffees over to the couch behind Tosh's station to wait, wondering exactly what Jack was up to this time, because he was always up to something.

The Captain wasn't gone long; he came back carrying a large, wrapped box. "I didn't want to embarrass you in front of the others," he explained. "Or did you _really_ think the only thing you were getting out of me was a new tie?" He was grinning again, almost the same grin, Ianto realized, as the one he'd been wearing when he handed over the box that had held the tie.

"The thought _did_ occur to me when that's what I got," the younger man replied in a dry tone. "And what do you mean, you didn't want to embarrass me?" He asked, as he took the box. It wasn't heavy for its size.

Jack settled into the sofa next to him. "I know how you can get."

Ianto raised his eyebrows, inquisitively. "Would you care to elaborate on that, please?" he said in a slightly hostile tone.

Jack remained patient. "I'm pretty sure they all realize we're sleeping together, Ianto."

"You made sure of that."

"I did not. Well… ok, not on purpose," he conceded that it probably was his fault the others had caught on. He hadn't been terribly subtle a couple of times when he'd asked Ianto to help him find something in the archives. "I really do know how important appearances can be," he added, taking another sip of his coffee.

The younger man regarded him a moment. "I'm not the one who bought Gwen expensive perfume, Jack." If Jack and Gwen _were_ sleeping together, he wanted to know. Even if they didn't have any kind of exclusivity in their relationship, Jack should have the decency to tell him something like that without having to be asked.

"I wasn't going to give it to her, actually," the Captain told him. "At least not until she broke up with Rhys."

"What makes you think she's going to break up with Rhys?" he asked suspiciously.

"Would _you_ date him?"

Ianto made a face, "Not if he was the last man on earth. But I'm not Gwen."

The older man just shrugged.

Ianto regarded him a moment. "Typically, one doesn't buy expensive perfume for a co-worker, you know."

Jack sipped his coffee, ignoring the implication of that statement. "So. Are you going to open it, or what?" he nodded at the box in Ianto's lap.

"Jack…"

"Would it matter to you if I _was_ sleeping with her?" he snapped. He wasn't annoyed at being asked, he was annoyed at _not_ being asked, at the way Ianto kept dancing around the subject without actually saying what was so obviously bothering him.

"I realize it's hardly my place to object…"

"That_ isn't_ what I asked," his tone remained sharp.

"No, Jack, it wouldn't bother me," he lied. "But I would appreciate you telling me about it."

"Because I'm sleeping with someone else or because it's someone we work with?"

"Because it's someone we work with." _Someone I have to look at very day and not be jealous of… _

Someone who had to depend on Ianto to have her back in the field.

Jack scrutinized the young man a moment, but no, that seemed to be the truth. "I'm not sleeping with her. Yes I would, but no, I'm not. And do me a favour, the next time you want to know something about my private life, just _ask_."

Ianto swallowed, realizing just how angry Jack was. How angry he had every right to be. "I'm sorry." He couldn't look Jack in the eye, preferring a spot on the floor in front of him instead.

"I don't need you to be sorry, I just... I need you to talk to me the next time something's bothering you, ok?" Jack's tone had softened. "There isn't anything I won't tell you," he found himself saying, although exactly where that statement had come from, Jack wasn't certain. There were lots of things he would never tell the younger man and he knew it.

Ianto forced himself to meet the other man's gaze. "Why did you go to London tonight?" he asked in a soft, uncertain tone.

Jack regretted his last statement. He could lie. He should lie. But he couldn't lie right after he'd said Ianto could ask him anything. "I was looking for someone," he admitted.

"Who?"

"A Doctor. The _right _Doctor. My Doctor," his voice dropped to barely a whisper.

"And he… or she…?"

"He. He was there. But I missed him. Again."

"I… I'm sorry." He didn't know why he was sorry, but he didn't think he'd ever seen Jack looking as distant and unhappy as he looked right now.

The older man shook it off, "It doesn't matter. I'll find him some day. Besides, coming back here tonight wasn't _so_ bad," he flashed a sly little smirk in the Welshman's direction.

Ianto smiled in return even though he realized then that he would never, _ever_ be Jack's first choice. But as much as that hurt, the thought of not being with him at all hurt even more.

"So are you going to open your present or not?" Jack asked again.

Ianto smiled a more genuine smile as he turned the box over and slid his fingers under the tape and carefully removed the wrapping paper. "Boots," he said deadpan when he saw the box. "Just what I've always wanted. In your size, no less."

Jack gave him a look, "It was the only box I had."

Snickering at his irritation, Ianto opened the lid. He stopped laughing. "Jack… I… I don't know what to say…" it was the book. The book he'd spent so much of the last year going back and admiring. "I… " he couldn't make anything come out. He couldn't even breathe properly.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it… thank you. Jack, _thank you_." He touched the cover gingerly, almost afraid that it would vanish the instant his hand came into contact with it, but it was real. Jack had seen how much he wanted it and… Ianto leant over and kissed him. "Thank you so much," he whispered when their lips parted.

"You're welcome," was the older man's equally quiet reply. "I'm just glad I bumped into you the other day," he admitted. "I was racking my brain trying to figure out what to get you."

"Am I that difficult to shop for?"

"You are when nobody knows anything about you."

Ianto shot him a look, "As if you should talk."

Jack just smirked, "You know more about me than anybody else here." Then his phone rang again. He sighed.

"No rest for the wicked," Ianto teased him.

"In that case I don't see how _you_ get any rest, either, Mr. Jones," Jack teased right back. The call was from UNIT.

When he hung up, he looked to Ianto. "I don't suppose you feel like taking a field trip with me?"

"In the middle of the night?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders, "No time like the present. UNIT found something in London they want me to have a look at," he explained. "It's connected to Torchwood. I could really use you..." he hesitated. "Unless you've got plans…?"

Ianto blinked, clearly not understanding. "Plans?"

"It's Christmas," Jack reminded him. "I gave everybody the day off, including you."

"I don't mind," the Welshman assured him. It felt good to be needed, good to know that it was true. He knew more about Torchwood London than any of the others.

They were almost to the SUV when Jack turned to him. "There's something else I wanted to talk to you about," he began, a little hesitantly. "Something I want to show you."

Ianto gave him a questioning look.

"It's something… only one other person knows about it and she doesn't get a chance to come by much. But if I'm ever not around, somebody else needs to know what's going on. Somebody I can depend on," because if he _had _found the Doctor today, if he had left, there would be nobody left behind to take care of the things that needed taking care of.

Suzie Costello had been the only other person besides himself and Liz who knew that occasionally the rift swallowed people up… Occasionally it spit them back outagain. When that happened, those people were damaged, broken. Irreparable. They could never go back to their old lives because of the things they'd suffered, things they'd seen.

Now Suzie was dead and Liz had her hands full. Jack needed to know that when he left for good, someone would take care of those people and he couldn't think of anybody better for that than Ianto.

"You know there's nothing you can't ask me for, Jack," the Welshman told him honestly as they slid into the SUV, he into the passenger seat, the Captain behind the wheel.

"Are you familiar with Flat Holm Island…?"

………………………………………………………………….

**A/N:** Part of this was inspired by the way Ianto was certain that Jack needed him, depended on him (his lines from the episode Captain Jack Harkness) even though Owen remained convinced that Ianto was nothing more than Jack's "part time shag." Hope you enjoyed… please review ;-)


	49. One More Day

Thank you SO much for the reviews!! They are really, truly appreciated.

**A/N: **I wasn't actually going to write a fourth chapter to this one but then someone asked a question (thank you, Annie!! ;-) and I had to answer it. (I did have the answer all along, I sat down and decided w/ everybody got everybody else before I started writing this sequence… it became an interesting character study). But I digress…

* * *

**Chapter Forty Nine: Happy Christmas (pt. 4)**

**One More Day**

……………………………………………..

"Nobody should be alone on Christmas, Jack," Ianto said as Jack took the exit for Cardiff; it was 6 pm. Neither had gotten any sleep, but Ianto wasn't ready to go home yet, despite the fact that he had spent most of his day scrambling through rubble with Jack.

UNIT had discovered the remains of a Torchwood facility underneath the Thames Barrier in London that appeared to have recently been in use, which of course was impossible. Torchwood London had fallen apart after the Battle of Canary Wharf.

Even using the computer terminal in the SUV, which was linked directly to the Hub's main computer system, Ianto couldn't figure out what was going on at the Barrier facility or who had taken over H.C. Clements; the facility led up to their building near the Thames. Tosh would probably have more luck with the computes, though.

Besides, the less time he spent at the computer the more time he could spend scrambling around rubble with Jack. While that might not sound appealing to some people, Ianto had enjoyed every second of it. Except when Jack started flirting with UNIT soldiers… but then later he'd mentioned wanting to see Ianto in one of those caps, which had made up for having to watch him flirt shamelessly with nearly everyone they met. Flirting was a part of who Jack was and Ianto knew it. He was going to have to get over it and learn to make allowances if they were going to keep sleeping together, otherwise the jealousy would kill him.

"My car's at the Hub," Ianto continued making his argument for not going home.

The last two hours had been wonderful, just the two of them in the SUV on the drive back to Cardiff. No one would be at the Hub, either and he wanted to make the most of the time they had alone together. It wasn't something they got very often.

Ianto favoured Jack with a mischievous grin, "_Somebody_ called me at two in the morning and insisted I come into work, remember?"

"I didn't insist…!" Jack looked honestly hurt.

"Fine then. You asked knowing full well I could never turn you down for anything."

Jack glanced over at him wearing a startled expression. It faded before Ianto had a chance to analyze it. "I can pick you up in the morning," he told the younger man.

"Or you can just take me back to your place for the night," Ianto winked. Lack of sleep was making him a little punchy.

"Well when you put it that way," Jack flashed a wicked grin. In a more serious tone, he added, "Don't you have family or something?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Yes, Jack, I have family. I wasn't hatched from an egg, you know."

The older man chuckled, "If you want to get technical, yes you were." He passed the exit he would have taken if he was just driving Ianto home.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Humans start out as eggs and sperm. I'm assuming even with your grades you passes sex ed."

The Welshman gave him a dark look. It only made Jack laugh harder. "What I'd really like to know is how someone as smart as you barely passed his O levels."

Ianto shrugged, "I wasn't interested in school."

"Too interested in boys… or girls?" Jack teased.

"No, not really. Well… there was this one boy," he smiled a bit at the memory. _Aaron Anderson_…

"Oh?" The Captain coaxed. "Do tell."

Ianto chuckled, "You are_ not_ going to get me to talk about my teenaged crushes, even when I'm this tired." He sat back and closed his eyes a moment. Two seconds later Jack shook him gently, telling him they were at the Hub… Ianto was sure they'd been at least twenty minutes out when he last looked at the clock.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you home?" Jack asked him in a soft tone.

"Just because I dozed off for a second…"

"Almost half an hour," Jack corrected.

The younger man sighed, "I have to at least come in to get the book." He marvelled again at Jack having picked up on how much he had wanted it. It was the sort of thing Ianto would never have bought for himself. It cost as much as he made in a month. (And it made him wonder if he was going to see 'Christmas gifts for team' on an expense report next month. He wouldn't put it past Jack.) "Besides, you ran off yesterday without opening up any of your gifts."

"I know what I got."

"How?" Ianto followed him to the Tourist Office.

"Tosh burned CDs for everyone, so she burned one for me too, although I really hate to think about her prowling around my hard drive to see what I've been listening to lately," he shuddered a little.

"I thought you said she was the one you'd like to see in a bathing suit," the younger man countered. "I should think that would mean you'd _want_ her prowling around your hardware," he smirked.

"_Hey_. I said that in strictest confidence."

"And who have I told?"

Jack unlocked the door and held it open for the younger man. "Anyway," he went on, "Owen _always_ buys wine. Now Gwen, that one's a little more challenging to sort out," they headed down the stairs and into the Hub. "This was her first Christmas with us."

"Mine too, I'll remind you. Or do you think I'm that predictable."

"I'd say you might have given me a Weevil, but the box is too small," Jack grinned over his shoulder.

Ianto just chuckled. "You never know…"

Myfanwy swooped down out of her alcove as soon as they came into the main area of the Hub.

Jack noticed the way Ianto still flinched when he saw her. Neither of them said anything. He had no idea how it was that after everything had happened, they were not only still friends but they'd become lovers as well. _But I'm glad,_ he smiled as he slid out of his coat.

Ianto took it from him, glancing up at the pterodactyl as she took a second turn around the Hub.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. Fine. Thanks."

"Ianto…"

"It's not what you think… what I think you're thinking."

"So what is it?" he followed the Welshman into his office.

"It's nothing."

Jack settled his hands on his hips, "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"I know," Ianto hung up the Captain's greatcoat. "It's just… I'm sure there are some things you don't _want _to talk about."

"It doesn't matter if I don't want to talk about it or not. If you want to talk, I'll listen. I mean that."

He regarded the American a long moment before speaking. "My mother invited the Halletts for Christmas dinner." He waited, holding his breath, not even sure what he was afraid of.

Jack blinked, clearly startled. "And they accepted?" he finally asked.

Ianto rolled his eyes, "You don't know my mother. She can be extremely persuasive."

"Ah. So… shouldn't you be there instead of here?"

"I'd rather be anywhere but there. Not that… I mean… I really _want_ to be here," he floundered. He wanted to be here more than any place else in the whole world… Ianto crossed the distance between them and pressed his mouth to the other man's lips, hoping to convince him without words how much he wanted to be right where he was.

Jack returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around the younger man's shaking body. "I want you to be here, too," he said softly, although where the words had come from, he wasn't sure. They were true, it just wasn't the sort of thing Jack was used to admitting out loud. He cupped the younger man's face in both hands and kissed him, long and hard, loving the way Ianto pulled himself closer… loving the way his body felt against his…

"You know, if we keep this up…" Ianto began a few moments later.

Jack cut him off, "If we keep this up it may be a good Christmas after all."

Ianto chuckled softly, placing a soft kiss on the other man's mouth. He slipped his tongue just barely between Jack's lips, hinting at what he might be willing to do with his tongue later… Jack was right about practice and improving his technique. "You still haven't opened up your presents," Ianto said when he pulled away.

"I've got something right here I'd rather open up instead," he slid his hands underneath the Welshman's shirt.

"Gifts first, Captain."

Jack sighed. "All right. Gifts first. Just as long as I get to unwrap you later."

The younger man laughed, "Where in the Hell do you come up with some of those lines, Jack? Honestly."

"What?"

He just kept laughing.

"Right. On that note, I need a drink. Scotch… or coffee?" Jack asked him.

"How about wine?" Ianto suggested.

"Wine it is." He reached for the gift bag that he knew held Owen's gift, smiling appreciatively when he pulled out the bottle. He had to give the medic marks for good taste. "Come on," he led the way to the small staff kitchen and watched Ianto watching him as he uncorked the bottle.

"I never learned how to use one of those things properly," the younger man admitted of the wine key.

Jack smiled, "Of all the useless tricks I've picked up over the years, this was not the one I would have thought would impress you."

Ianto chuckled, feeling warmth overtake his cheeks. He wasn't sure why exactly, but he couldn't help enjoying the feeling of standing there the kitchen together.

Ianto reached into the cupboard and got down a couple of glasses. While Jack poured the wine, he scrounged through the fridge and came up with some left over curry from the night before. It wasn't his favourite, but it wasn't like anybody was going to deliver on Christmas.

He popped the curry into the microwave and was startled when he realized that Jack was standing right behind him… he was more startled by how absurdly natural the whole routine felt, like the other day when they'd done the dishes together. He wondered if Jack felt it too… but then he remembered how Jack had gone running off to London the first time… _I will never, ever be his first choice,_ Ianto reminded himself.

Moments like this, however, made being Jack's second choice bearable.

Ianto turned and laid a soft kiss against the other man's lips.

"What was that for?" Jack asked smiling at him.

"I just felt like it," the younger man replied. The microwave beeped. He got the curry and they went back to Jack's office so he could open up the rest of his gifts.

…………………………………………………………..

"So what did Gwen give _you?"_ Jack inquired as he held up the long knitted scarf it looked like she may have made herself. He couldn't help but snicker at private thoughts of a certain Time Lord he knew and loved as Ianto wrapped the scarf playfully around his neck. (Although it occurred to him that after his earlier stunt that the young man may be trying to strangle him and that could prove to be mighty awkward when he came back to life… but Ianto didn't strangle him, he just sat there chuckling.)

"Coffee scented candles," Ianto answered the question.

Jack joined him in a chuckle and topped off their glasses. The curry was gone and so was half the wine.

"That only leaves one gift left," Ianto glanced down at the box that was from him. It was neatly wrapped with blue foil paper and white ribbon.

"Guess so."

"It isn't a Weevil," the younger man assured him.

Jack laughed a little harder. "Could be something even nastier. I might even deserve it after yesterday."

"It is a lovely tie, Jack," he said, still embarrassed by his behaviour.

"But you're worth more to me than the price of a tie."

His cheeks grew warmer.

Smiling at how easy it was to make the younger man blush, Jack set down his wine glass and reached for the box. He opened it with the same care Ianto opened all his gifts (Jack on the other hand was typically a rip-the-paper-to-shreds kind of person.) The wooden box was a surprise. He blinked. "You're sure it's not a Weevil… or… I don't know, a Weevil egg, maybe?" he teased.

"Do Weevils lay eggs?"

"I have no idea," Jack smiled up at him. He flipped the little latch on the lid and opened it. The box was velvet lined and fitted into it were a crystal decanter and six tumblers; they looked like antiques. "Wow."

"Was that a good wow?" Ianto asked a little hesitantly; he was holding his breath. He'd gone completely out on a limb with this one and he knew it. It wasn't a casual gift, not the sort of thing an employee gave his employer. It was more than one friend might give to another, too, unless that friend made a whole lot more money than Ianto did.

"That was a very good wow," Jack looked up at him, not sure what to say. This must have cost the young man at least a month's salary and he knew it. He pulled one of the glasses out and held it up to the light. He was right, it was crystal, not cut glass.

"You really like it?"

"It's beautiful, Ianto, thank you," he said.

"I'm glad you like it."

………………………………………………………

Instead of getting dressed after showering, Jack pulled the younger man into bed with him, curling his arms around him, savouring the moment and the way the young man felt pressed up against him. His heartbeat… his scent… the warmth of his skin. For the first time in a long time, Jack remembered what it felt like to be really, truly happy…

"Are you really planning on staying the night?" he asked in a soft tone as Ianto's breathing became deeper and more rhythmic, as if he might be dozing off.

"Wish I could…" the Welshman said reluctantly. "But I don't have anything to change into for morning."

Jack ignored the feeling of disappointment that threatened to ruin the otherwise perfect moment. "Why don't you sleep for a couple of hours here? I'll wake you up in plenty of time to go home and change."

"I don't want to impose…"

Jack chuckled, "After the things you let me do to you… " he shook his head and kissed the younger man's lips. "Get some sleep. I'll wake you up in a couple of hours."

"Thank you. For… everything."

"I doubt even _I_ can take credit for everything," he shifted into a more comfortable position, pulling Ianto with him. "But you're welcome anyway."

The Welshman murmured something unintelligible under his breath and drifted back to sleep… And Jack realized he was honestly glad he'd missed the Doctor this time, just to have had this one more day with Ianto Jones...


	50. Lost

**A/N: **this is the one I've been putting off writing…

**Setting: **after **End of Days**

* * *

**Chapter Fifty: Lost**

……………………………………………..

Days. It had been days.

Jack was dead.

Jack was _still_ dead.

Despite what Gwen said, despite what they'd all seen, Jack was dead.

_We betrayed you,_ Ianto thought as he tidied up Jack's office, although why he was bothering he wasn't sure. _**I **__betrayed you. Oh God and for what?_ Silent tears escaped his control, trickling down his already tear-stained face._ I'm so sorry, Jack… I should have loved you more… I should have trusted in you more…. _"Please forgive me," he whispered into the collar of Jack's coat as the scent of the Captain overwhelmed him… it was all he had left… how long would it last? How long before even Jack's scent had faded away to nothingness?

_But we carry on. It's what you'd tell us to do. We pick up the mess we made, putting things back together… _straightening the papers on Jack's desk. Making coffee.

Weeping for the one thing that couldn't be fixed, the one thing Ianto wanted back more than anything else in the world. They'd all betrayed Jack, but of all of them, Ianto had known his secrets… except he hadn't known that Jack couldn't die.

Only he could die.

He was dead.

Ianto glanced at the monitor, the image of Gwen standing over Jack's body in the morgue. He wondered when she was going to give up and accept the fact that Jack was truly gone. He'd given his life to fix their mistake. _And I would do anything to trade places with you,_ the Welshman thought desperately.

"Is there anyone we should contact?" Tosh's soft voice drew Ianto out of his thoughts.

Ianto blinked. He'd made the coffee. He'd joined her trying to put the rift manipulator back together. He didn't even remember walking out of Jack's office.

"Ianto?" Toshiko asked him again.

"I…I don't know. You knew him the longest." _Knew…_ fresh tears threatened to break through.

"But you knew him the best." Her voice, her words… so soft.

It was true. Of all of them _he _knew Jack the best, he loved him and he still betrayed him...

Toshiko held him while he cried.

Owen just watched for a moment and then went back to whatever it was he'd been doing. The medic had very carefully avoided Ianto for the past two days.

Finally Ianto found his voice again. "There's… there is one person I should call," he answered the question Tosh had asked some long moments ago.

"Do you want me to do it?"

"No. If you could just fine the number for me? Just… whenever you get time."

Toshiko nodded.

"Her name is Victoria Waterfield-Davies. She teaches anthropology at the University of Manchester…" he could feel the tears starting up again. "He took me there once… we… we watched the stars together…"

"As soon as we finish this up," Tosh promised him. "Come on. We should get back to this then," she said of the repairs they were making to the rift manipulator, hoping to get his mind off how much it hurt for just a few minutes.

He nodded, wordlessly getting back to work, trying to pretend that eventually the hurt would go away.

Gwen was the only not pretending that everything was all right…_the only one who seems to know how to hope…_

Ianto found himself resenting her for her ability to hang onto something that slipped through his fingers every time he looked at the image of her hovering over Jack's lifeless body…_**hope**__… I envy you the ability to hope, Gwen Cooper… I might even hate you for it. _

Every time he brought her a cup of coffee or something to eat, he hated her a little bit more – loved her a little bit more. Wished he had her courage.

"Oh God," Tosh breathed suddenly.

Ianto followed her gaze but he couldn't believe it. He blinked. It had to be his imagination, a dream… he was home… this wasn't real. It couldn't be… _oh God, please let it be real…_

Tosh ran towards him and he wrapped his arms around her, practically lifting her off the ground.

_Jack._

Ianto stumbled forward unable to make his throat work, unable to think straight or even at all… but then those arms pulled him close. "Jack," he was barely aware that he'd spoken. It didn't matter, Jack cut him off with a kiss… _I love you so much,_ Ianto thought at him. Just as soon as they were alone, Ianto was going to say it aloud. He wasn't going to wait until it was too late, he was going to muster up the courage and say all the things he'd spent the last few days regretting having not said.

First Jack had to confront Owen; he had to forgive him. Then he asked them to go out for coffee and Ianto was only too happy to go out with Owen and Tosh to get him coffee. There was nothing he wouldn't do for Jack.

The darkness had faded away, the cold had melted. _I don't care if you never love me back, I love you and I'm going to tell you just as soon as we're alone. _Ianto promised them both silently.

But when they got back to the Hub and the cog door rolled aside, he knew something was wrong…_**everything**_ was wrong.

Ianto heard Gwen's voice. His brain processed the words that broke his heart.

Jack was gone. Something had taken him.

He was gone and this time he wasn't coming back. Ianto realized in a moment of burning clarity that Jack had **_always_** planned on leaving him. It's why he'd told Ianto about Flat Holm Island, why he'd taken him there. Jack was immortal, at least according to Gwen, so why else would he need someone to look after those people if he wasn't planning on running out on them?

_I was never more than something to pass the time..._


	51. Picking up the Pieces

Thank you, thank you, thank you! For the wonderful reviews... I know I say it frequently, but I TRULY appreciate them . I've had a really yucky day... writing has been a great outlet and the reviews have made me feel so much better.

.

I know this one's been done to death, too, but the story didn't feel complete without touching on the time between when Jack left and when he came back.

* * *

**Chapter Fifty One: Picking up the Pieces**

……………………………………………..

Ianto refused to go home until the mess was cleaned up again. Tosh tried to tell him it could wait until morning, but why put off until tomorrow what could be done today? That's what his mam had always said.

So he cleaned.

Tosh helped.

Owen and Gwen helped too, at least until they started bickering about who was going to be in charge. Ianto didn't hear what had started the argument just the way it escalated until they were screaming at each other about things that had nothing to do with aliens or Torchwood or even Jack.

No one noticed Ianto going into Jack's office.

The mess in the Hub wasn't the only thing he needed to take care of before he went home for the night. Over the past couple of months, Jack had asked him to look in on several of his personal projects, including Flat Holm Island. At the time, Ianto had assumed it was the Captain's way of bringing him into his life, his way of showing him how he felt because maybe he didn't know how to say the words. Ianto had thought it was Jack's way of proving to him that he meant it when he said he trusted him.

Now he knew it was Jack's way of leaving with a clean conscious, because he had left his personal projects in the hands of the one person he knew would do anything for him, no matter what.

It was odd to feel both used and flattered at the same time. Or it might have felt odd if Ianto could feel anything through the numb haze that had settled over him while he'd been cleaning.

He no longer felt hurt by the way Jack had left them; he was too busy.

He didn't feel betrayed. After all, they had never exchanged promises, so there was nothing to betray.

Ianto understood that he had been something to pass the time, nothing more, nothing less. They had each gotten something out of the arrangement. It was _fine_. Hewas _fine_.

Jack had shown him a small sliver of what his life had been before Torchwood the day he took Ianto to meet Victoria. He'd told him about the galaxies humans would some day populate, shown him alien worlds with amazing skies…all those places and people… _He must have been mad with boredom here,_ Ianto realized on hindsight.

What could one tiny little blue planet have to offer when Jack had had _**all that?**_

_How could I have been so naïve as to think you loved me?_ He wondered._ I just hope you're happy out there,_ he wished in earnest. "Please let him be safe…" he found himself whispering a soft prayer on Jack's behalf. "Wherever…whenever… let him be safe." _Let him be safe because I still love him and I can be all right if I can just believe that he's all right… _

He wiped the moisture from his cheeks and went back to work.

Ianto was so absorbed in what he was doing he didn't hear Owen's footsteps until the medic was in the office. "Oi, what's this then?" he barked. "Tea-boy trying to take over the boss' job in his absence?"

Ianto shot a look dark enough to back Owen down, at least momentarily. "Jack asked me to take care of some things for him," the Welshman's tone was cold.

Owen folded his arms across his chest, "Well he's not here, is he?" some of the venom was gone from his tone, however.

"He asked me to take care of this in the event that he _wasn't _here," Ianto clarified.

"What do you mean?"

By then Gwen had joined them as well. Ianto wasn't sure where Tosh was; she may have gone home when Gwen and Owen's shouting got to be too much. Ianto certainly didn't blame her if she had, and he made a mental note to swing by her place on his way home to check in on her.

"Well?" Owen prompted when the Welshman didn't answer him right away.

"I mean, that a while back Jack asked me to take care of some things for him if he wasn't here to do it himself," he managed to keep his voice neutral, as he closed out the program.

"What sorts of things?" Owen wanted to know.

"I'm sure if he'd wanted you to know, you wouldn't have to ask me."

"You mean he _knew_ he was leaving?" Gwen demanded.

"I doubt he was planning on running off in the middle of the night," Ianto forced a tight little smile at them. "But yeah, he knew he wouldn't always be here." He powered down Jack's computer and got to his feet. "Do either of you need anything else before I head home for the night?"

"Ianto," concern filled Gwen's big brown eyes, "Are you all right?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Jack's your lover…"

"_Was,_ my lover,_"_ he corrected her, shoving his hands in his pockets, his tone still neutral.

"When did you two break it off?" she wanted to know.

"'Bout… three hours ago, I guess," he shrugged. It had been about that long that Jack had been gone, he reckoned.

Gwen continued to frown. "Are you _sure_ you're all right?"

"Quite, thanks," he continued smiling. He looked over at Owen, "But so you know, I'm not about to get in between you two and your fight to see who has the biggest penis."

They both looked at him, shock causing Gwen's mouth to droop open.

"Just let me know who wins," he slid his suit jacket back on. "I'm heading home now. Would whoever's left standing please lock up on their way out?"

"Ianto…" Owen found his voice before Gwen.

"Oh…erm… right. You'll both be pleased to know that Jack made me a signatory on the payroll account about six months ago when I took over the financials. So no worries there, we'll all continue to get paid."

"_You…_ " Owen blinked. "You can sign our pay checks?"

Ianto shrugged again. "Good night."

Gwen watched him leave, unable to speak.

Owen turned to her. "Job's yours."

"What?"

"When that boy blows and takes a loaded gun into Tesco or shoots somebody for messing up his latte at Starbuck's, I do_ not_ want to be the one in charge."

"Thanks, Owen."

He smirked… then his expression softened, "We'd better keep an eye on him, though, eh?"

"Yeah. We'd better."

………………………………………….

Ianto didn't blow.

He made coffee.

He cleaned up after them.

He joined them in the field because they'd been stretched thinly as it was before Jack left.

When he found Aaron Anderson's phone number tucked into a drawer he called him and they went out for drinks. They laughed and talked about innocuous things; they even kissed a few times. It was fun. It was an escape.

It was something to pass the time.

But Ianto knew it would never be anything more, because the day Jack left, he'd taken the biggest part of the Welshman's heart with him.

_It really doesn't matter that you'll never love me,_ Ianto thought, gazing up at the big bright 'star' that Jack had told him was really Jupiter. _Because love doesn't work that way, it doesn't have to be returned to be real._

And maybe once in a while Jack would look up into some alien sky and find the spot where Earth was and remember the people here who loved him… the people who would _always _love him.


	52. Did ya miss me?

**THANK YOU!** _**Wow**_... all those reviews for the last chapter, thank you, everybody! (Especially since that was the sort of thing that's been done to death already.)

It was asked whether I would go into the time Jack was away. The answer is yes and no. Mostly flashbacks or memory/thought.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Setting**: Chapter title gives it away, huh? Jack has just made his dramatic reappearance…

I'm not really sure what the official time frame for Jack's absence is, but I'm going with three months here because that's what I think I remember reading somewhere. (I'm sure I used a different number elsewhere and will work to correct that…)

I'm not re-writing the episode verbatim (that would be dull) so it's truncated in places. Hope nobody minds.

* * *

**Chapter Fifty Two: Did ya miss me?**

……………………………………………

More than anything in the world, Gwen wanted to slap the cocky grin off Jack's face.

She composed herself however, stealing a quick glance at Ianto and half hoping _he_ would do what she wanted to. Ianto was too professional. He stood there in the same state of shock they were all in for several heartbeats staring at Jack and his stupid smirk. None of them moved.

As soon as the Captain (or whoever he really was) took a step forward, Ianto snapped out of his daze. He turned to Gwen. "Right. We should probably start the clean up, yeah?" he asked her.

"Yes… yes of course," Gwen gave herself a good mental shake, silently thanking Ianto for not losing control. In his position, she might have shot Jack on principal. "Tosh, Ianto, would you take care of… whatever that is," she nodded towards the alien they'd dubbed a blowfish.

"They're mostly harmless, really," Jack chimed in.

"Oh yeah?" Owen's tone was scathing. "Tell that to _him_," he nodded at the man bleeding on the floor.

"Is he going to be all right?" asked Gwen.

"I think so, but he needs to get to hospital."

Gwen nodded and dialled the number; after that she called into the police to let them know that they had the situation under control before someone showed up to investigate the gunfire in an otherwise quiet neighbourhood.

Then Gwen offered to get the two women some of water and got them to sit down. Jack followed her into the kitchen and watched her dissolve Retcon into each glass of water.

He nodded his approval; Gwen ignored it. She didn't need his approval. She didn't want it. She wanted to scream at him, punch him, tell him what an ass he was. But this wasn't the time or place.

Jack leant in the doorframe between the kitchen and living room watching his team work. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen them doing their jobs this efficiently, without the usual bickering and banter. It didn't escape his notice that none of them would even look at him. Not even Ianto.

Just the same, they all accepted that he was coming back to the Hub with them. Gwen drove. Jack took the passenger seat. Ianto, Owen and Tosh slid into the back. No one spoke.

It had taken Jack most of the day to track his team down, only they didn't feel like his team any more. They were strangers who seemed to be only barely tolerating his presence while all he wanted to do was to put his arms around each of them and tell them how much he'd missed them… he'd missed them _so_ much.

That past year, the year that never was, he'd watched the whole world wither and die… Jack drove it from his mind. It was better not to remember what had happened because it _hadn't_ happened, not for them.

They were _here_. They were _safe_. He was back. But everything had changed. To the rest of the less than three months had gone by since he'd left.

Three months was all it had taken for his team to forget him.

Jack had expected a thousand questions, some anger, maybe even a good slap across the face from Gwen, but not cold silence. It was killing him.

Twice he tried to get Ianto to acknowledge his presence; twice the Welshman sidestepped him without even seeming to notice he was there.

"You got pretty organized without me," Jack finally spoke. He couldn't stand being ignored a second longer.

"Yeah, well, we had to," said Gwen in an absent tone without looking up from the computer screen.

Jack ignored the twisting in his gut. "Did you decorate in here…?"

"You left us Jack!" the brunette Welshwoman was on her feet and shoving him back into the wall before Jack or anyone else could react.

A thousand excuses played on the tip of his tongue, but none of them was good enough. "I know," he couldn't meet her gaze. "I'm sorry." Sorry wasn't good enough either, but it was all he had. He couldn't tell them what he'd seen the past year. It would kill them.

"We knew nothing, Jack!"Gwen snapped at him, looking near tears.

"Where were you?" Tosh's asked in a soft, cool tone. Cold didn't suit her.

Jack smiled despite the chill in the room, he couldn't help it. "I found my Doctor," he told them, wondering if he should have stayed with the Time Lord when he had the chance… but standing there on the Plass, he'd missed his team so much. He just wanted things to go back to being the way they used to be… _but sometimes you can't go back,_ a little voice in the back of his head told him.

"Did he fix you?" Owen inquired, his voice just as soft as Toshiko's had been a moment before.

"What's to fix?" Jack tried to turn it into a joke. "You can't mess with this level of perfection," he offerd up a weak grin.

Ianto was looking at him finally, but when he spoke, his voice was barely audible. "Are you going back to him?" There was the tiniest crack in the Welshman's mask of professionalism.

"I came back for you," Jack told him the truth, but Ianto didn't react. He didn't smile, his eyes never changed, he just gave Jack a quick glance before the cold stone mask dropped back over his features. Ignoring how much that hurt, the Captain turned back to the others. _"All _of you," he told them, letting his gaze settling on Gwen, the only to have laughed at his stupid joke. The only one who would hold his gaze for more than two seconds at a time.

Maybe three months _was_ all it took for them to forget him… _And maybe that's my fault,_ Jack acknowledged silently.

He'd been so busy looking for the Doctor he'd missed all the good things he'd had right here. Ianto, Gwen, Tosh, Owen… his friends. His family… his adorable Welshman…

The shrill beeping of the rift monitor sliced through his thoughts.

Once again, there was no question that Jack was going with them, but no one spoke until they got to the crime scene.

Ianto watched Jack flirting with Gwen as he tried to assert himself as commander and chief once more. _Naked wrestling, indeed_, the Welshman thought acerbically when Jack suggested it. But she laughed. She always laughed at his stupid jokes. Jack seemed not to have noticed the engagement ring.

It didn't matter, though. Gwen's laugh made his heart ache because he couldn't even muster up a smile for the man who had been his lover for almost six months. His insides felt tight. Constricted. Raw, like rats gnawing at his stomach. A part of him wasn't sure he could do this and another part was _so _happy to see Jack… nothing made any sense. More than anything he wanted to tell Jack how much he'd missed him, but he would rather have his tongue pulled out by the root than to give the older man the satisfaction of letting him know how much he'd gotten to him.

Then suddenly he was standing right next to Jack with no one else around. Gwen was talking to the police, Owen was examining the body of a man who had probably been pushed off the roof; Tosh was checking for rift energy. And he was standing next to Jack near the SUV. He couldn't breathe.

He should say something. Anything. But he couldn't think of what. _Nice to have you back… where the hell have you been… I hate you… I love you… _it was all true, but none of it was what he wanted to say.

And then Jack's wrist strap beeped, startling the Welshman completely out of his stupor, just as the others joined them.

"Whoa… that _never _beeps," the words tumbled out of Ianto's mouth.

Jack met his gaze, "That's just what I was thinking."

They all watched as Jack hit a button on the ever present wrist strap and the holographic image of an oddly dressed man appeared. The message didn't make sense to anyone but Jack and in typical Jack style, as soon he heard it he swanned off without them, leaving orders for the others not to follow.

_Just like old times,_ Ianto thought as they climbed into the back of the cab he'd hailed.

Although there were probably more important things for him to be considering, Ianto used the cab ride to start thinking about exactly how much like old times he wanted things to be between he and Jack… _Although that's assuming an awful lot,_ he told himself.

Or maybe it wasn't. He doubted Jack had changed that much regardless of how long he'd really been gone (after all, when one couldn't die, one could go off for a hundred years and how would the people left behind ever know it?) _God, I should hate him for that,_ Ianto realized.

But it really was more fun when Jack was around.

………………………………………………………

The Welshman eyed the Redcoat wearing blond carefully; he didn't like him. And it wasn't_ just_ because he was arrogant, flippant and a bigger flirt than Jack, _**or**_ that he and Jack had been partners 'in _every_ way and then some'. There was something about the man Ianto didn't trust.

It also didn't escape him that Jack didn't appear to trust the man either and no matter how angry he was at Jack – or how confused he was over his own feelings towards their Captain – Ianto knew that there were things he could always trust about Jack and if Jack didn't trust somebody than he knew he was right not to trust them, either.

Ianto noted the way Hart reacted to the name Torchwood, but he filed that away for later consideration. He would bring it up with Jack sometime if and when it ever seemed appropriate.

"Ianto," Gwen caught his arm as soon they were away from Jack, back at the Hub. "Are you all right?"

"Perfect, thanks," he flashed a wan smile without meeting her gaze directly.

She gave him a look that clearly said she didn't believe him.

The Welshman forced himself to look her in the eye. "I'll be fine, Gwen. Honest."

"You know him better than anyone, Ianto…"

"Don't remind me," he groaned.

"I just mean…"

"You mean did he ever mention this guy Hart before? No," he pulled away from her. Jack would be bringing Hart down the lift any moment now.

"Ianto…"

"Look, just… just for right now, let's carry on as if he was never gone, all right? It's obviously what he wants." _It's what you want too,_ he thought at Gwen. She might not admit it and she might not be ready to give up leadership, but she wanted everything back to normal just as badly as the rest of them did.

Gwen sighed. "All right. But if you need to talk…"

Ianto stifled a sigh and nodded. For the past three months all any of them had done was trod on egg shells and tell him how they were there if he needed them, even bloody Owen. As if Ianto wanted to have a heart-to-heart with Owen Harper, a man who was no better than Jack when it came to the fact that he would shag anything that moved (although at least as far as Ianto knew, in Owen's case that only applied to females.)

When he'd wanted… needed… to talk to someone, he'd gone to see the only other person he knew who really knew Jack, Victoria Waterfield-Davies. _She _was someone he could talk to. She understood. She knew Jack's secrets.

Owen and Gwen were people he could go and have a pint with after work. Tosh was somebody he went to breakfast with once in a while because they were both always in early. They were his friends, but they didn't understand. There were too many things he couldn't tell them because he would _never_ betray the trust Jack had placed in him. Gwen was right, he knew Jack better than any of them ever would and while at times that made him feel smug, most of the time it simply made him feel miserable.

…

"_He may not be gone forever, you know," Victoria said gently, pouring his tea out of an antique teapot. _

"_I know. And that's what scares me… thank you," he said as she set the pot back down on the tray. They were outside in her garden. It was lovely, but he couldn't appreciate it. It had been three weeks since Jack left them and even though he went through the motions every day, it never got any better._

"_Why does it scare you?" she inquired._

_Ianto stirred his tea, suddenly remembered of all the times he'd sat like this with his mother… but Victoria wasn't his mother, she was somebody he could actually talk to. Somebody he could feel comfortable with. Somebody who didn't condemn him because of his mixed up sexuality. _

"_I still love him," he admitted without looking up at her. He felt the tears welling up again. He never let the others see it, but when he was alone he let himself be as miserable as he needed to be, just so he could get through the next day without cracking. "If he came back tomorrow I… I would forgive him."_

"_What's so awful about forgiveness?" _

…

As the lift descended into the Hub, Ianto felt his chest tightening.


	53. Everything changes Everything

**Chapter Fifty Three: Everything Changes Everything**

……………………………………………..

Jack slid into the drive's side of the SUV; Ianto slid into the passenger seat next to him as easily as he seemed to have slipped back into his role as the quiet man at Jack's elbow, the person who knew what Jack wanted before he knew it himself. He'd even helped Jack on with his coat before they left the Hub, just like always.

But no matter how much it looked the same on the outside, Jack knew that on the inside, everything was different. For all of them.

Ianto was cold. Distant.

Gwen was getting married.

"_No one else will have me…" _

Jack's gut twisted up every time he thought about her saying that. A part of him had wanted to tell her that _he'd_ have her. But he knew that moment with her in the Hub was something he could never go back and redo. He had let her go the same way he'd let Ianto go the day he ran out on them. On _him_.

_And I __**am**__ sorry,_ he thought in the younger man's direction, wondering if Ianto was ever going to forgive him. Wondering if he deserved to be forgiven.

_What kept me fighting was the thought of coming home to you…_ All of them. Ianto. Gwen. Toshiko. Owen. _Gwen Cooper_… Gwen Cooper getting married. To Rhys.

But Jack wanted her to hang onto her life, to have the kind of life he could never give her. The kind of life he would never _have._ He just wished that life wasn't with Rhys, because she never seemed happy with him.

_Maybe I made a mistake letting her go so easily,_ he thought. Maybe if he'd told her that he would have her… but it was too late for that.

But maybe it wasn't too late to fix everything he'd messed up when he ran out on them.

Jack glanced at the young man sitting next to him. Ianto was staring intently out at the road ahead.

"You're awfully quiet," Jack spoke softly, hoping to coax the younger man out of his icy shell.

Ianto considered carefully before responding. "I was brought up not to speak unless I had something useful to say, Sir," he said in a carefully neutral tone, not daring to meet Jack's gaze.

He wanted to strangle Gwen for pairing them up like this. There _had_ been a time when he would have loved the opportunity to partner up with Jack in the field, but that time was long past and Gwen bloody well knew it. She was the one who kept asking him if he was all right.

_But I __**am**__ the one who said we should carry on as usual,_ he reminded himself. And he knew the real reason Gwen had partnered he and Jack tonight. She thought they had something to work out.

Maybe they did. _Just not now,_ Ianto thought. "Turn left again, Sir," he said aloud, focusing his attention on everything except the man sitting next to him.

_Sir. _Jack swallowed the lump in his throat.

Ianto had never actually stopped calling him 'sir', but there had been a time when it was playful… endearing. Even when he said it around other people and they completely misinterpreted what he meant, Jack always knew. But that was different now, too.

Now all the warmth was gone from Ianto's tone.

Jack started to open his mouth to say something else when the younger man announced that they'd reached their destination.

In the wake of the other man's silence, Jack found himself over compensating by talking too much. It wasn't his favourite bad habit, but once he started he couldn't stop the words from falling off his tongue.

Ianto tried to ignore his companion's incessant 'office' babble, but when it got to be too much, he cut Jack off, hoping desperately to get him refocused on the here and now. All he wanted to do was finish this, send Hart packing and go home to the peaceful solitude of his little flat where he could sort himself out over a _very_ big glass of wine.

"How are you, Ianto?" Jack asked him suddenly.

The sincerity of the older man's tone startled him. It only took him a moment to recover, however. "All the better for having you back, Sir," he said in a brisk tone. He turned away quickly so Jack wouldn't see how close he was to losing his composure. There were too many emotions inside threatening to break free.

"Can we maybe drop the 'Sir' now?"

Ianto continued riffling through desks, trying desperately to ignore him. He didn't want sincere out of the older man; he wanted to find the canister and get this over with. Jack, however, was not taking the hint.

"I mean… while I was away, I was thinking, maybe… maybe we could… when this is all done… dinner? A movie…?" he sounded as if he was aware that he had crawled out on a limb and was waiting for it to crack underneath him.

Ianto turned and settled his hands on his hips as he scrutinized the older man. He couldn't honestly think of a time when he'd seen Jack looking so unsure of himself. "Are… are you asking me out on a date?" He asked in an incredulous tone. Everybody knew that Jack didn't date.

"You interested?"

Part of him wanted to say no. Jack deserved to hear no. But he couldn't make the word come out. "Well… as long as it's not in an office," he shot back in a harsh tone instead. "Some fetishes should be kept to yourself."

The Welshman continued his search, trying very hard to ignore the flock of pterodactyls that had just taken up residence in his stomach. _Am I really that big of a fool?_ He wondered. Some things were better off left as they were… besides, they didn't even know how long Jack was planning on sticking around this time.

Jack would never love him. He might depend on him, might use him – _did_ use him – but he would never, ever love him. He probably didn't know how.

_But I'll keep forgiving you,_ Ianto thought hopelessly. _Even when you don't deserve to be forgiven._

"Looks like we're going to have to go through every drawer, bin and plant pot," Jack observed needlessly, his nerves getting the better part of him again, making him babble.

Ianto didn't look up. "Right. Ok. I'll do this floor – don't want you getting over excited. You can take the roof. You're good on roofs." His tone was difficult to interpret, but it was definitely cold.

Ignoring the twisting in his gut, Jack headed towards the door. He was more anxious than ever to get this over with and get rid of the man who was going by the name of Captain John Hart.

"Jack?"

The sound of Ianto calling his name stopped him in his tracks. Jack turned, wondering if he'd really heard a crack in the ice over there, a little warmth in Ianto's voice.

An uncertain expression played across the younger man's features. It reminded Jack of the way he'd looked the first night they'd been together in his office.

The memory of that night made everything inside Jack ache, even though he didn't know why.

"Why… why are we helping him?" Ianto asked in a tone that gave the older man the tiniest sliver of hope that there might be something left to salvage here after all. _Even if it's just a friendship… _Because right now, he would take whatever Ianto was willing to give him.

"He's a reminder of my past," Jack told him honestly. "I want him gone." He turned to head back into the hall, but then turned back around again. "By the way… was that a yes?"

Ianto nodded, "Yes."

Smiling, Jack headed up to the roof…

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you again to everyone who has reveiwed, faved/alert listed this! Next chapter will go back to the things that weren't onscreen (but maybe we wish they had been ;-)


	54. Damages

**Chapter Fifty Four: Damages**

……………………………………………..

Ianto pulled himself up off the cement, his heart pounding in his ringing ears. It was dark, he realized. A moment ago it had been light. Daytime. But the city was still there. _Gwen_ was still there. He dusted himself off, trying to collect his wits (and completely enjoying the way Gwen decked John Hart.)

The explosion in the rift had caused a temporal displacement, shot them back to the beginning of the night, undoing everything that had been done.

Almost everything.

Jack was still here. There was a part of Ianto that wished he wasn't. A part of him that was so happy to have Jack back…

But watching the kiss Hart gave him made the Welshman more aware than ever that Jack would never, _ever_ love him. Jack had loved John Hart once, Ianto could see it in the other man's eyes. Hart was as sure of Jack's love as anything, but Jack left him too (never mind that he was clearly a psychopath.) The point, the young man knew, was that Jack left everybody, even somebody from his own time, somebody who had truly been his partner. _Which is something I'll never be,_ he realized in another one of those moments of blinding clarity.

He would never, ever be Jack's equal. How could he be? Jack couldn't die. He was from the fifty first century. He'd travelled to other galaxies as easily and thoughtlessly as Ianto travelled to Manchester to see Victoria. Maybe even more easily.

_What could one tiny little blue planet __**possibly**__ have to offer a man like Jack Harkness?_ Ianto asked himself again. And knew the answer: _nothing._

Jack didn't belong here, he belonged out there, out among the stars. And maybe he wasn't leaving them now, but he would. Someday he would go away again, leave them.

_Leave me._

Ianto watched Hart go, watched Jack's reaction to what he said as he left. Listened to him lie again, when Gwen asked him who Grey was… and yet Jack called **_Hart_** a compulsive liar. _There's the pot calling the kettle black._

"So what now?" Owen asked as they headed back to the SUV.

"We have to avoid ourselves," Jack told them. He glanced at his watch. "Looks like we've got about eleven hours to kill."

"How?" Tosh asked. "We were at the Hub for part of the night… and right here… "

"We could always have the rest of the night off," Owen suggested hopefully. "Go to the pub or something."

Jack considered a moment. But Tosh was right, they couldn't go back to the Hub, they were already there. Would be there. Trying to avoid themselves at work would be nearly impossible. "Fine." He shot Owen a look, "Just no getting into trouble."

"As if you should talk," Ianto muttered under his breath.

"Hey Owen," Gwen looked to the medic, "Think you could give me a lift home?" She glanced at Toshiko, too, motioning for her to follow with a wide eyed expression.

Tosh frowned, looking confused. "Huh? Oh! Oh, right. Owen, Could you give me a lift, too?" she asked. "It's a lovely night for a drive," she added a little wistfully.

Owen glanced at the girls and then at Jack and Ianto and shrugged. "Yeah, sure. C'mon girls." He shot Ianto an apologetic look as he motioned for Gwen and Tosh to get into his car. He doubted the tea boy wanted to be left alone with Captain Clueless just now, but once Gwen got a bee in her bonnet about something, there was no stopping her.

Ianto seemed to understand it too, giving the medic a tight lipped smile in return. No one would ever call he and Owen friends, but they'd gotten better at communicating the last few months. They'd had to.

Jack leant back against the SUV and crossed his arms over his chest, watching Owen drive off with Gwen and Toshiko. He knew what Gwen was up to. He wished she'd let it be.

He looked at Ianto. He looked good. Really good. "New suit?"

"Yes, actually."

"It looks good on you."

"Thank you," the younger man said simply.

There had been a time when Jack would have been only too happy to find himself alone with the adorable young Welshman who was standing across from him now. Ianto would have crossed the distance between them and kissed him. They might even have found themselves in the backseat of the SUV making out. Shagging. It wouldn't have been the first time. Jack loved sex in the SUV, parked somewhere just public enough where they might get caught. He'd embarrassed more than one police officer over the years. Ianto seemed to get the same teenaged thrill out of it he did.

Or he might have suggested a hotel, somewhere where they could call room service and order up wine, strawberries, pineapples and whipped cream. Some place where they wouldn't be disturbed no matter what they did…

But that felt like a lifetime ago. Everything was different now. Ianto was just standing there with his hands stuffed into his pockets, not really even looking at him, even though Jack was taking in every inch of the younger man's body.

He could still remember vividly what Ianto's kisses felt like, what _he_ felt like, his scent, the warmth of his skin and the beating of his heart... the sounds... Jack shook himself as unwanted memories of the last year invaded his thoughts.

_But it **didn't **happen,_ he told himself. Not for Ianto. Not for Gwen or Owen or Tosh. They were here. They were safe.

"We should get out of here, too," Jack suggested at last. "Wouldn't want to accidently meet ourselves," he added with a smirk. "Think of all the explaining we'd have to do."

Ianto didn't smile. "I don't know. You might be the only man who could keep you happy."

Jack ignored how much that hurt, how much it hurt that that's what his closest friends_ really_ thought of him. "Do you think we could talk now?" he asked, hopefully.

"About what?" the young man's tone was cool.

"What happened while I was away."

Ianto hesitated a moment before nodding. He slid into the passenger side seat of the SUV. "I presume you mean what happened here," he said, needlessly. Jack wasn't going to tell them where he'd been.

Jack settled in behind the wheel. "You want to get a cup of coffee? Or a drink?" he asked. "Or maybe we could go back to your place," he added with a lascivious grin, his eyebrows raised suggestively. It was the kind of expression that used to make Ianto blush.

He didn't blush and his tone was bland as he said that coffee would be fine.

"We can't go to our usual spot…" he began.

Ianto cut him off, "There's a new place that opened up on Market Street. Considering we were no where near there tonight, we should be safe. Coffee's good, too," he added with what might almost pass for a smile.

"Ianto Jones calling somebody else's coffee good?" Jack teased at him, hoping desperately to make him smile for real.

Ianto just shrugged. "Sometimes just having somebody else make it is enough to make it good."

"I'll have to remember that," Jack shot him a cocky little half-grin as he pulled out of the car park.

The Welshman remained impassive. Neither spoke until they arrived.

When Jack tried to pay for Ianto's coffee but the younger man declined the offer. "Wouldn't want you thinking this qualified as part of a date," he explained. Jack couldn't tell if Ianto was teasing him or just being his usual sarcastic self.

He bought his own coffee and joined the young Welshman at a quiet table near the back of the mostly empty coffee shop.

They sat in awkward seeming silence for a while; Ianto finally spoke. "You'll have to change all of your passwords when you get back to the Hub."

"Oh?" Jack shot him a quizzical look.

"I changed them after you left as a security precaution. I'll give you the list."

Jack sipped his coffee. This wasn't what he wanted to talk about. "Yeah. All right. Thanks."

The younger merely nodded. "There's a new patient at the Flat Holm Island facility," he said. "Her name is Marie McKinnley. Missing three years our timeline, thirty some years for her. She came back through the rift about six weeks ago and was found wandering the streets near where she used to live. No one recognized her and I contained the situation without involving the rest of the team," he added, seeing Jack's worried expression. "I tried talking to her again a few days ago, but she's still pretty incoherent. I'll pull her file up for you tomorrow."

"Thanks," Jack sipped at his coffee. It was good, but not as good as Ianto's. Even if this wasn't what he wanted to talk about, he was glad they were talking about it. He was glad they were talking at all. "Thank you for taking care of them for me," he told the younger man earnestly. "There was no one else that I could have trusted with it."

"It was my pleasure, Sir."

There was nothing playful or warm in the way he said the word 'Sir.'

"If you'd like, I can come in early tomorrow and fill you in on everything we've been up to the last three months," Ianto offered. "It shouldn't take long to get you up to speed."

"That'd be great. Thanks."

"As I said, my pleasure. Oh, and another package arrived for you from that friend of yours in Toronto," a smile played at the corner of his mouth. "I left it on your bed with the rest of your personal correspondence."

"Thank you."

Jack glanced around the little coffee shop. There were less than a half dozen other people sitting around. Some were clacking away at laptop computers, some reading, others were just talking. Laughing. Happy. Normal. Completly oblivious to close they had come to losing everything.

"You… you did a great job of holding everything together while I was away," Jack said, not quite meeting the gaze of the man sitting across from him. "Thanks."

"I didn't do it alone. Gwen is a fantastic leader. Even Owen pulled his weight."

"Gwen didn't have to threaten him to finish his reports," Jack teased.

"No. She didn't." His tone was flat. He drained the last of his cup and stared into it a while. He really didn't know what Jack was expecting out of him… he didn't even know what he wanted himself.

"Where are we, Ianto?" Jack's voice was so soft, the Welshman almost missed it.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Where are_ we_… you and me?"

"I don't believe that there is a you and me, Jack," he answered without thinking, both hands on his empty cup. His gaze lingered on there a moment more, then he forced himself to meet the Captain's blue eyes. He couldn't read the older man's expression. He didn't want to. "You and me ended when you left," he explained. "Although to be honest, I wouldn't have known how to answer that question three months ago, either, so I'm not sure it matters."

"It matters."

"If you say so."

Jack finished his coffee; it wasn't nearly warm enough to thaw out the frozen spot in the middle of his gut. "Are… are we still on for that date?" he asked, hesitantly. He afraid the answer.

"Are you backing out?" Ianto inquired in a matter-of-fact tone.

"_No._ No, I just… I want to make sure it's something you want to do. With me."

"It's just a date, Jack. Dinner and a movie. Just something to pass the time."

The words hit home, making Jack's insides twist up. "Right," he agreed. "Just dinner and a movie. Is… I mean…" he fidgeted with his coffee cup a moment. "How's Friday night?"

Ianto managed half a smile, "Assuming aliens don't decide to invade Friday afternoon, Friday night should be fine."

* * *


	55. Dinner and a Movie

Thank you again for the wonderful reviews! More romance** is** on the horizan.

**A/N: **The date they're on is the date from Chapter one… so in essence, we've come full circle.

* * *

**Chapter Fifty Five: Dinner and a Movie**

……………………………………………..

As the cog door rolled aside, Ianto was greeted by the unexpected scent of coffee brewing. He glanced at his watch, but no, he wasn't late. It was five a.m. He was an hour and a half early, just like he'd said he would be.

And there was Jack standing at the coffee machine. It reminded Ianto of the morning he came in to find the Captain washing dishes… a sudden surge of tightness took hold of his insides. If the alarm hadn't already announced his presence, he might have turned around because suddenly he _hurt_. It was as bad as it had been the morning after Jack's disappearance. He had nearly broken down when he realized he'd fixed Jack's cup and was half way to the Captain's office before remembering that he was gone…

"Morning," Jack called out in a friendly tone. Ianto missed the uncertain look in his eyes.

Ianto gave the best smile he could muster and set his things down at his station before going over to investigate. "You did hear me say I was coming in early, right?"

Jack shrugged, "I thought I'd make the coffee for you, for a change."

The younger man eyed him suspiciously. A joke about how futile it would be for him to spike Jack's coffee with arsenic so it wasn't like he had to worry about being poisoned died in his throat. He gave Jack a look instead.

"Believe it or not, I'm perfectly capable of making coffee, Ianto."

"If you say so, Sir," the younger man gave him a dubious look. "I'll get those files for you."

Jack watched him walking away; he wasn't just appreciating the view, he was appreciating what he'd left behind. He really had been naïve to think that Ianto would be waiting for him… _But I will make it up to you, if you let me,_ he promised the younger man silently…

He poured them each a cup of coffee and fixed Ianto's the way the younger man took it.

"Thanks," was all Ianto said, setting the cup on his desk. He'd pulled up the Flat Holm Island files.

"You know… this can wait if you'd like to get some breakfast," Jack offered tentatively.

"You know I'm really not a breakfast person, Jack." His tone was cool.

"I just thought… I mean... we used to…"

"You're right. We _**used**_ _to_." No one watching him would ever have guessed how much it hurt to turn Jack down.

"We could call it a pre-date," Jack suggested with a sly grin that used to win Ianto over every time.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not. Friday will be fine. But if you're hungry, by all means go get something. I'll print Marie's file while you're out."

Jack swallowed the lump in his throat and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I just thought…"

"You can't come waltzing back into my life after disappearing like that and expect me to act like nothing happened, Jack," Ianto cut him off. "We were lovers. We were _supposed _to be friends."

"I… I'm sorry."

"So am I." He turned back to his computer.

…………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………

Jack glanced over at the young Welshman sitting next to him in the movie theatre and wondered if things would ever be the same again. He wondered if they _could_ ever be the same, because Ianto was right. He was naïve to have thought that he could leave them like that and come back and expect life to go on as if nothing had happened.

Instead of watching the movie, Jack thought about the conversation he and Ianto had had back at the Welshman's flat earlier in the evening, when he picked him up.

"_You left us, Jack. You left us and then just like that, there you were, back again without any explanation or warning, and… and you've spent the last few days pretending that you were never even away, that nothing's changed__…. And __now__ we're just supposed to go out on a date, out to a movie, dinner, like a regular couple of blokes…?"_

"_What do you want? Do you want an explanation, do you __want __to know where I was, __when__ I was, what I was doing?" _how many times I died…_"Because if you do, all you have to do is ask." Just ask, I'll tell you… _

"_No. I realize it's none of my business, Jack. None of it is. If it were, I wouldn't have to ask, you'd just tell me..."_

_"What do you want...?"_

"_I want to know that I can trust you."_

Trust. Ianto was the only one who had asked for Jack to be trustworthy again. He was the only one who _hadn't_ asked where he'd been or what he'd been doing. He was the only one Jack would have told.

He glanced over at Ianto again and found himself remembering the first time they'd gone to the movies together. It had been a lark, really, a chance encounter one afternoon, but Jack remembered thinking at the time how he couldn't recall an afternoon out that he'd enjoyed quite so much. He remembered feeling like that a lot around the younger man.

……………………………………………………………

"Thank you," Ianto said in a cordial tone as Jack pulled back up in front of his apartment building, after dinner. They'd gone to the little Italian place Ianto had taken him once. This time Ianto didn't drink too much wine. "I had a nice time."

Jack put the SUV into park. "Nice enough that you'd consider doing it again some time?" he asked hopefully. The conversation through dinner had been good. Not as good as it used to be, but it was a start. It felt good.

"If you're interested," the younger man answered.

"I wouldn't ask if I weren't."

"Fair enough. Would you like to come up for a cup of coffee?"

Jack regarded him carefully. There had been a time when coffee meant something entirely different…tonight he was pretty sure it just meant coffee, however. "I… should probably be getting back," he said.

If Ianto was disappointed at all, it didn't show. He just smiled, said good night and got out of the SUV.

Jack killed the engine and slid out after him. "The least I can do is walk you up," he answered the quizzical look on the younger man's face.

Ianto smiled. Really smiled. "All right." He waited for Jack to join him before crossing the road.

As they climbed the stairs to Ianto's floor, he gave Jack a smile that gave him some hope he might be able to fix the mess he'd made when he left.

"Well," the Welshman said as they reached his door. "Good night. And thanks again."

"Ianto," Jack reached out and touched the younger man's arm, half expecting Ianto to pull away. But he didn't. "I… I had a good time, too. I... I really missed this. Spending time… together."

"Me too," he admitted, glancing away for a second, but then meeting Jack's gaze.

"Really?"

"Of course I missed it, Jack. I missed _you." _

"Is… would it be too soon to ask you to forgive me?"

"Won't know until you try, will you?" Ianto challenged him.

Jack took a breath and let it out again before finding the courage to ask.

The younger man smiled and shook his head, unable to believe that Jack hadn't figured it out. As soon as he saw the Captain's expression crumble, however, he leant in and kissed his lips, very gently. "I forgave you a long time ago, silly. But that doesn't make me any less angry. I hope you can appreciate the difference."

"Yeah, I think I can," Jack kissed him again, savouring the moment. "Do you really want to go out with me again?" he asked when he finally pulled back.

"I'm willing to give it a go, Jack. And… I don't care who else you see or what else you do, but do _not_ treat me as if I'll always be here, because I won't, not if you run out on me like that again."

"I…"

Ianto pressed his fingers against the older man's lips. "Don't make any promises, Jack. Not because I don't trust them, but… I just… I don't want promises right now. I just want to know that you're going to stick around for a while."

"I'm planning on it."

"Good." He leant up and kissed Jack one last time before saying good night for real. "I'll see you in the morning."

………………………………………………………………

**A/N: **Not exactly fluffy, but hopefully romantic enough at the very end to make up for it… I know I'm ready for some romance, too...


	56. Healing Wounds

**A/N: ;-) **It was really only 2 and a half chapters the other day; I'd written the rough draft of 53 the night before, honest. I think my personal record is something like 5000 "good words" in a day (i.e. a finished draft.) I started cranking out an average of 1000 words a day (rough draft) back in high school. Needless to say, I wasn't one of the popular girls, I didn't have much of a social calendar ;-)

Parts of this didn't go exactly as planned, but I think Jack needed to hear what Victoria had to say...

* * *

**Chapter Fifty Six: Healing Wounds**

……………………………………………

Ianto came in as usual and set his things down at his desk. Sitting next to his keyboard was a small bag from the bakery upstairs. Jack was no where to be seen.

As soon as he opened the bag, the sweet scent of pineapple hit his nose. Smiling, Ianto pulled out the pineapple muffin and pulled off a piece before heading over to the coffee station.

The instant the coffee hit the pot, Jack appeared; Ianto chuckled at his uncanny ability to draw Jack out every time, just by working a little 'coffee magic.'

He half expected the Captain to come up behind him like he used to and wrap his arms around his waist… Ianto wasn't sure what he was going to do if Jack did. He wasn't sure he could tell him to keep his distance, it had only been one date, nothing to get over excited about, but he had promised himself that it wasn't going to be like the last time. He was going to be more careful with himself. He didn't want to get hurt again because it was _only_ one date.

Jack, however, kept a polite distance. "Morning," he said with a little smile.

"Good morning," Ianto glanced over his shoulder, smiling in return. "Coffee should be just a few minutes."

"Thanks."

Ianto shrugged, "Just doing my job. Thank you, though, for that bag from the bakery."

"I remembered that pineapple was your favourite."

Ianto turned to face him. "I hadn't realized you'd ever noticed," he said in neutral tone. It wasn't one of the things he'd ever been angry about.

"I noticed."

Having nothing else to say, Ianto turned back to the task of making coffee; he got two mugs down and reached for the milk from out of the little fridge under the coffee station.

"So… I was thinking," Jack began a little hesitantly.

"Oh dear. Here we go again. Jack Harkness thinking," Ianto found himself teasing the older man. A part of him didn't want to fall so easily into old patterns, he wanted things to be different this time, but it was so difficult _not_ to feel comfortable around Jack.

The Captain chuckled, "It's not always bad when I start thinking, is it?"

Ianto shot him a dark look, although he suspected Jack could see the smile he was fighting. The coffee was done. He poured each a cup and started fixing Jack's first. Just like always. _But I'll never be his equal…_ Ianto reminded himself.

Jack cleared his throat, "_As I was saying_, I was thinking… how would you like to take Monday off?"

Ianto fixed his own cup quickly before handing Jack his. "Should I feel free to make my own plans or will you be making them for me?"

Jack took a sip of his coffee to cover his discomfort. He would have sworn it tasted better than usual today, and that was saying something. Even when Ianto was mad, he still made an amazing cup of coffee. He wished he could tell if the younger man was teasing him or just being sarcastic, with his comment about making plans for Monday. "I… was kind of hoping for that second date," he admitted a little sheepishly.

"All right," was all the younger man said before he headed towards his station.

"Is that all right 'yes', or all right, 'go to Hell'?" Jack queried on his heels.

Ianto chuckled softly to himself, "All right, yes, Jack," he confirmed. He tore off another piece of the pineapple muffin and popped it into his mouth before powering up his computer. He completely missed the look of relief on the older man's face at his 'yes'.

Jack took another sip of his coffee.

"Did you need something?" the Welshman asked over his shoulder.

"No… not really. I guess… I should get to work myself."

Ianto just nodded and went back to his computer. Jack meandered towards his office, oblivious to the way Ianto turned to stare after him, admiring the view.

Twenty minutes later when the alarm sounded, announcing Tosh's arrival (it couldn't possibly be Gwen or Owen this early), Ianto got up and fixed her a cup of coffee and refilled his own while he was at it.

Toshiko met him at the coffee station, "Good morning, Ianto."

"Morning, Tosh," he returned her smile.

"Are… how are things today?" she inquired a little hesitantly. It was no particular secret that Jack and Ianto had gone out on a date last night. Owen was betting that it would be a disaster, something about how you can't ever go back to the way things were… Gwen was positive they'd work it out over night and everything would finally go back to normal.

Ianto's smile didn't reveal much. "So far so good," he said simply in answer to her inquiry.

"Really?" her tone was hopeful, although what she was hoping for, he wasn't certain.

He just nodded and went back to his computer.

Tosh followed; she shot a quick glance in Jack's office, but he seemed to be busy with something. "Come on, you have to say more than that," she coaxed the Welshman in a quiet tone.

"There's not much to say. We went to a movie and had dinner. Then he took me home."

"You didn't… I mean…" she blushed. "It's none of my business, but we all know what Jack is like," she'd leaned further in.

"Believe me, some of us better than others," Ianto groaned, although Tosh saw the smile playing at the corners of his lips. "However, the answer is no, we didn't." He sipped his own coffee.

"But you're sure everything is fine?"

He smirked, "He's asked me out on another date."

"Oh, I'm so glad, Ianto. You two always seemed so good together."

"Don't start picking out our wedding China yet," he cautioned her, shocked at the words that had just come out of his mouth. It was the exact thing his mother used to say when his sister would start going on about some new boy she fancied. _God, you know you've grown up when you start sounding like your parents,_ Ianto thought glumly. The last thing he wanted was to start sounding like either of _them_. Ianto cleared his throat. "I should probably get back to this."

"Oh, right. Of course. Thanks for the coffee."

"You're welcome." He decided to see if Jack needed a refill, too, insisting to himself that he was_ not_ making excuses to be near the other man again, he was just doing his job…

…………………………………………………………….

Two days had never seemed to drag by so slowly. It wasn't _just_ that it was a quiet weekend, so much so that Jack sent Gwen home at lunch on Saturday and told Owen to take Sunday off completely. It was that every time Jack looked at his watch, it seemed like only a few minutes had passed. _What I wouldn't give to be able to just hop forward and skip all this waiting around…_ he mused. Once upon a time, he would have, too.

………………………………………………………………..

Ianto chuckled to himself as he answered the knock on his door. He knew without looking that it was Jack; no one else would be knocking at ten o'clock in the morning, and _no one_ had Jack's uncanny ability to sniff out coffee. "I swear, you must have ESP or something," he grinned. "The coffee_ just_ finished brewing." He was wearing jeans that hugged his body just right, and a short sleeved shirt.

Jack returned his smile, thinking that the younger man looked good in casual clothes (he himself was in his usual attire.)

Stepping into Ianto's flat Jack noticed the bouquet he'd brought the younger man Friday and his smile deepened. Red carnations, jonquil, and purple hyacinths… the things he'd been saying without words, even though he knew Ianto wasn't likely to understand.

When he'd spoken with Victoria earlier in the week, he'd learned a few uncomfortable truths about what had happened while he was away, the kinds of things Ianto would probably never tell him.

Ianto had filled him in on the wild goose chase in the Himalayas (Owen was still occasionally heard to grumble about there being no such things as bloody yetis), and the aftermath of the American President being assassinated by aliens on British soil – and how the Toclafane had simply vanished along with Harry Saxon.

Torchwood and UNIT had coordinated a search, but to no avail. After a month, the file was closed and the whole thing labelled a hoax; the American President had been killed by assassins from the Middle East, the usual villain of choice for such emergencies. (For his part, Jack remained mute on the subjects of both Saxon and the Toclafane and had nothing at all to say about yetis either.)

Victoria, on the other hand, had filled Jack in on Ianto…

..

"_Even if the world __**is**__ ending, it only takes a second to leave a note," her tone was scathing, even through the phone line._

_Jack knew he was talking to someone who had lived through just as many world-ending scrapes as he had, so he had no room to argue with her. "I… I didn't think," he admitted. _

"_Well next time put in the effort," she told him curtly. "It's the least he deserves for putting up with you."_

"_Am I really that awful?" he asked in earnest. _

_On the other end of the phone, Victoria sighed. "You are wonderful, Jack. You're generous and funny and sweet and honourable to a fault. You're also callous and unthinking and completely oblivious to the things around you."_

_She made him sound just like the Doctor. It was flattering and frightening at the same time. Jack leant back in his chair, stretching the phone cord as far as it would go. "You know why I can't… why we can't…why it can't ever be more than it is with him. With anyone. I'm going to live __**forever,**__ Victoria. You have no idea what that feels like." Even he recognized how despondent he sounded. _

_Her tone, however, remained harsh. "You're right. I don't. But apparently you're determined to live a very __**lonely**__ forever and I'd honestly thought better of you than that."_

"_What choice do I have?"_

"_The only way to find any kind of happiness in life is to risk being unhappy, to risk getting hurt. Or aren't you willing to take the same chance on him that he is on you, because being willing to give __**you**__ a second chance is taking an awfully big chance on getting hurt, Jack."_

_Her words stung. "You think I'm going to run out again, too, don't you?" it wasn't really much of a question. Everybody seemed to think that he was unreliable… but if the shoe fit… _

"_That isn't what I'm saying. I'm just telling you to think about the situation from the other person's perspective for a change. Ianto knows where you're from… when you're from. He knows what you're like, and don't deny it, we all know that you'll bed anything with a pulse."_

_Jack swallowed the lump in his throat but didn't argue with her or interrupt. _

"_He knows you can't die. He knows that there is no chance he is __**ever**__ going to be the one true love of your life..."_

"_**What?**__ Did he say…?"_

"_No, of course he didn't say anything like that. He didn't have to; it's what most people want."_

"_It is?" the question was an honest one._

"_Yes. It is."_

_He took a deep breath and let it out, twirling the phone cord around in one hand, trying to collect his thoughts. "Everybody I ever love will die. I've buried my children, my grandchildren. Am I really supposed to keep… trying?"_

"_I should hope you'd do more than try, Jack. I'd like to see you succeed just once before I die. Otherwise all you're doing is leading him on again and that is not fair."_

"_I never meant…"_

"_I know you didn't," she cut him off. "But now you do know. The choice is yours. You either take an honest chance or do the decent thing and break it off before it even gets started. Otherwise, so help me, I will never speak to you again. There is no room in my life for liars or cowards, Jack Harkness."_

…

"You ok?" Ianto's voice pulled Jack out of his thoughts.

"Hmmm?"

"You look a little dazed."

"I just need some of that coffee," Jack recovered quickly.

Ianto chuckled and nodded, heading into the kitchen.

Jack followed him and leant against the counter, watching the younger man, thinking about that conversation with Victoria... thinking about a lot of things. "Thanks," he said when the young Welshman man handed him a cup.

"So what's the plan for today?" Ianto asked, motioning them over to the table.

"I don't have one," Jack admitted.

"Jack Harkness without a plan? Those Four Horsemen really must've come through the rift last night."

He laughed; he'd missed Ianto's sense of humour almost as much as… he leant forward, still half expecting to get pushed away…

Ianto met the kiss half way and Jack cupped his face lightly in both hands, drawing him close. He played at Ianto's lips gently with his tongue and found that the young Welshman yielded immediately, returning the kiss as ardently as he ever had.

"God, I missed that," Jack whispered a very long while later when tongues and lips finally untangled.

"Me too," Ianto gave him another soft kiss before pulling back a little more. He was clearly not willing to go any further just yet.

Jack nodded, understanding. "I am sorry I ran out on you like that, Ianto. I… I didn't think. I just acted. It was a mistake." _One that I regret..._

"Did you at least find what you were looking for?" he asked; there was no trace of anger in his tone.

"Not really. I got some answers, but… but he couldn't fix me," he found himself gazing into the depths of his coffee. _A fact… a fixed point… all __**wrong**_…

"For all it's worth, I never thought you were broken, Jack," the Welshman's tone was soft.

He cast a half-smile in the younger man's direction, "You might be the only one."

"Then I guess you'd better make me the only one who counts," he grinned, then blushed suddenly as he realized what he'd said. Ianto cleared his throat. "I erm…"

"So what do you want to do today?" Jack cut him off, before either of them could become uncomfortable.

"Anything so long as it _doesn't_ involve aliens."

The Captain flashed one of his signature grins, "I know a nice alien free spot in the park."

"Sounds good. Just let me get my jacket in case it gets chilly later. There's a thermos in the cupboard over the sink, if you'd like to take the rest of the coffee along."

"You're not going to have to ask me twice," Jack got to his feet.

"I didn't think I would," the younger man laughed softly. Maybe falling back into old patterns wasn't so bad after all… they'd always made him happy… _Jack_ had always made him happy…

* * *

**A/N:**

**Flower meanings:**

Carnation (red) - My heart aches for you; admiration

Hyacinth (purple) - I'm sorry; please forgive me; sorrow

Jonquil - Love me; affection returned; desire; sympathy; desire for a return of affection


	57. The Year that Never Was

**A/N: **Thank you so much for the reviews!! As always, they are treasured.

This was the hardest chapter I've written so far in this story because it was so painful to write on so many levels. The scenario has going through my head ever since I watched a couple of older episodes and was reminded of exactly what the Master was capable of when it came to hurting people...

Yes, I will be returning to Jack and Ianto as parents part of the story very soon (and I've got a couple of new ideas brewing for a couple of stories involving the whole Torchwood team… not sure if it'll be pre- or post- DW season 4… that whole thing with the Daleks just screws with the world view… but I'm open to suggestions… it basically boils down to do I want to write w/ Mickey or w/o him. Bobby and Wendy are in no matter what ;-)

Thanks again!!

* * *

**Chapter Fifty Seven: The Year that Never Was**

……………………………………………..

Jack and Ianto were still laughing when they got into the younger man's flat; they were drenched from the sudden down pour that had hit while they were at the park.

"Well it was alien free, at least," Ianto teased.

"Hey, I never said I could control the weather," Jack retorted.

"Something Jack Harkness can't control?" the Welshman continued to tease.

"Even I have limits."

Ianto laughed. "Never thought I'd hear you admitting to them, though. Why don't you let me dry your clothes?" he offered. Neither had ventured any further into the flat than the kitchen and its linoleum floor.

"Oooh, he wants to see me naked," Jack flashed a lascivious smirk.

"Not hardly."

"Ouch."

The younger man sighed and rolled his eyes, "My bathrobe is hanging up in the bathroom. You can borrow it while I throw your things in the dryer."

Still grinning, Jack assured him that he didn't have to bother. "It's not like I'm going to 'catch my death of a cold.'"

"You never know. Besides, what will the others say if I send you back to the Hub looking like a drowned rat?"

"Water sports?"

The Welshman shot him a look that would have wilted a lesser man. "Bathroom, now. And hurry, I don't want you dripping all over my carpet!" he added as Jack scurried off. Ianto sighed. He should have told the older man to remove his boots first.

Ianto pulled off his shoes and then shimmied quickly out of his wet clothing. He dropped everything into the kitchen sink and sprinted for the bedroom. By the time he'd pulled on a clean pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt, Jack was coming out of the bathroom wearing his terrycloth robe. Ianto had forgotten what nice legs Jack had.

"I left my boots in the tub," he said.

Ianto managed not to groan. Not only was he going to have to wash the floor, but the tub as well… _but I suppose he meant well,_ he realized. He took Jack's wet clothing and tossed it straight into the washing machine. After adding his own, he set it to spin and reached for the mop and bucket.

"I've got it," said Jack; the offer surprised the younger man. Jack just smiled, "My motives are purely selfish," he explained. "I was hoping to talk you making some coffee."

Ianto chuckled, "All right," he released his hold on the mop (despite the fact that the thought of Jack mopping his bathroom floor frightened him. He'd seen the dust bunnies under Jack's bed.)

Jack started in the kitchen, mopping up the puddles and then went into the bathroom; by the time he was done, so was the coffee. Ianto handed him a cup and put the mop and bucket back away, "Thanks," he added over his shoulder.

"My pleasure," Jack took a sip of the coffee and smiled appreciatively at the man who had made it.

It occurred to Ianto, although hardly for the first time, that they really did work well together. He pushed the thought back into its little box. He wasn't ready to get that comfortable with Jack again, not yet.

The older man set down his cup and stepped closer; Ianto missed the look of uncertainty Jack's face as the older man drew him into his arms. He held him a long,_ long_ moment. It felt good. It felt _**really**_good. Too good… it would be so easy to fall into love with Jack all over again…

Then those lips… first in his hair, then on his forehead and then his cheeks and then his lips… Jack's mouth smothered him in a kiss that made the Welshman's knees start to give out.

Ianto pulled back. "Jack… I… " _I'm not ready for this…_

"I know," the older man seemed to understand. "I just… just need… "

Ianto realized that he was shaking. "What's wrong?"

"I just… just give me a few minutes…" his voice was strained. "I just need to know you're still here. I need to know you're real."

Ianto slid his arms back around the Captain's waist, aware that the older man was clinging to him as if he was honestly afraid to let go. He'd never known Jack to shake like this, to sound so scared.

"I'm sorry, Ianto," his voice was barely audible. "Oh God, I am so sorry…"

"Hey… shhhh… Jack… I told you I forgave you…I just need… I need a little time here." _Just let me find my own feet again. _

Jack shook his head. "Not that. I could live with that… even if you hated me, I could live with that. But last year… I… I'm so sorry for… for last year."

"_What?"_ he pulled away enough so that he could look at the other man. Unshed tears glistened in Jack's blue eyes, but Ianto didn't understand why. "What are you talking about?" Last year they'd kissed for the first time. Held hands… gone on a long drive up to Manchester where Jack had shown him the wonders of the universe. Jack had made him so incredibly happy, and now he was _sorry?_

"I couldn't save you. I couldn't save any of you… half the world died… " he blinked, trying to get the tears in check and failing miserably.

"Come on," Ianto guided him towards the living room, "Let's sit down." He settled Jack down on the sofa and sat down next to him, still holding onto the older man. "What are you talking about?"

"I just… I remember everything that happened last year. No matter how hard I try to forget. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm not sure what's the dream and what's the night mare," he confessed.

"Jack, you're not making any sense."

"I know. I'm sorry, I just… maybe I should head back…"

"Oh no you don't," Ianto caught him before he could get up. "If you don't want to talk we can just sit, but you're not going anywhere in this state, do you understand me?"

Nodding, Jack settled back into the younger man's arms, and closed his eyes a bit. Listening. Feeling. Assuring himself that this was real. That that kiss in Ianto's kitchen had been real… he kept expecting to wake back up aboard the Valiant.

Ianto held him, stroked his hair, leant in and kissed his forehead. "If you want to talk, I'm here," he offered softly. "No matter what else ever happens between us, I'll always be your friend, Jack."

"It's nothing you want to hear."

"What was it you said to me…? I may not want to hear it but that doesn't mean I won't listen?" he brushed away some of the moisture on the other man's face.

Jack smiled, though just barely, opening his eyes at last. "No fair using my own words against me."

"You're not the only one who knows how to cheat."

"I never cheat," he managed another ghost of a smile.

"You _always_ cheat," he brushed his lips against Jack's to prevent him from arguing the point further. "You can tell me anything. I mean that."

"There's so much I want to tell you about so many things, I don't even know where to start."

"Start anywhere you like."

Jack studied the younger man's face as the horrors of the last year, the year that never was, overwhelmed him. "You died," he said at last, giving into more tears. "He… he found you. All of you… all but Gwen…" _but losing you was the hardest…_

"He, who?" Ianto asked simply; he knew that he wouldn't be able to make any immediate sense of what Jack was saying, but getting a few details sorted out at the start might help.

"Saxon."

Or maybe not… "_Harold_ Saxon?"

Jack nodded.

"How…? _Why?"_

"He's not human."

"What is he, then?"

"It doesn't matter."

If the younger man didn't believe him, it didn't show on his face. All Jack saw in the his expression was… his chest tightened. He knew what he saw in those grey-blue eyes, he just wasn't sure it was a place either of them was ready to go. He wasn't sure either of them would _ever _be ready to go there.

"What happened?" Ianto coaxed gently, running his hands through Jack's hair as he held him.

"Are you sure you want to hear this?"

"Doesn't matter. I'll listen," he took both of Jack's hands into his.

"He… he took over the whole world," he explained it the only way he knew how, hanging on tightly to the young man's hands. He was afraid to let go, afraid that if he did, he'd drown in the memories. "And there was nothing we could do to stop him." Tears blurred his vision. One by one the Master hunted them down… Gwen was the only one who made it out of that year alive. Or at least he thought she might have, he never saw her die. But just because the Master didn't get to her didn't mean she'd survived..

But Owen… Tosh… Ianto… he started shaking again. He'd witnessed Owen and Toshiko's deaths, but Ianto's… even hanging onto him now, it was hard to make himself believe it hadn't actually happened. Time had reset itself, Ianto was alive. He was here… he was safe. He would never know the pain he'd felt at the hands of the Master.

"I didn't have a choice," Jack cried as the memory shook through him. "I'm sorry."

Ianto wrapped his arms around the older man, drawing him in closer, holding onto him. "Whatever it is, whatever happened, it's over now. You're back home. You're safe, Jack. You'll always be safe here."

Jack didn't seem to hear him. "I knew what he would do to you," his voice was a hoarse whisper. "What he'd already done. I… I _didn't _have a choice."

"Jack, no one did anything to me. I'm right here," he pulled the older man's face away his chest, cupping it in both hands, forcing him to look at him. "I'm _right here_. Whatever it is, whatever happened… I'm right _**here**_," he leant in and kissed Jack's lips, just to drive the point home.

Jack kissed him back; it felt almost desperate, as if he really believed he might open his eyes and find that the Welshman was just in his imagination, just a dream.

"Whatever happened, it's over," he said again, kissing the older man's lips fiercely.

"There were so many times I'd doze off… just… just for a few minutes… and… and I'd dream that it was all just a nightmare… but then I'd wake up and I was still there. I tried so hard not to sleep," he choked back more tears. "I lost everything that mattered to me that year." Jack wiped his face.

"What year?"

"Last year. Time reset itself… temporal paradox… but… I was on the Valiant at the eye of the storm. It happened for me. I remember it. And I'm sorry. I was _never _going to tell you."

"There are some things that just can't be kept bottled up inside, Jack. You have to tell someone or they… they eat you up alive. I don't mind being that somebody."

Jack studied his face for a long moment before speaking. Maybe he owed it to the younger man to tell him the truth. Maybe he owed it to both of them. "How do you tell someone that you killed them?" he asked softly, terrified of the answer.

..

"_I'll give you a choice, Captain," the Master always put a snide little twist on the title 'Captain.' He'd seen Martha use the vortex manipulator, he'd figured out that Jack wasn't Jack's name, that Jack wasn't from that time. He hadn't figured out what Jack was, but he'd learned that physical torture only went so far with the fifty-first century man._

_Ianto, bound, gagged, looked up at him, his expression unreadable, but the signs of recently healed wounds were impossible to miss. And Jack knew first hand what the Master was capable of._

_He wanted to look away, but he couldn't. He wanted to say something, anything, to comfort the younger man, but there was nothing he could say. Ianto had been the Master's prisoner for over two months._

"_Tell me how a mere little human achieved immortality," the Time Lord went on, "And I'll let you end his suffering yourself. Or I can do to him what I was thinking of doing to you today. That __**might**__ kill him. Then again, I am so__** very**__ good at keeping people alive, even these fragile little humans your Doctor is so fond of. It's your choice, Captain. Although," he added offhandedly, "I suppose there's always tomorrow for us to do this again."_

_Jack closed his eyes as the last of his hope faded. Tthat's what the Master really wanted. He wanted to destroy not just the body, but the soul of everyone he touched. _

_When he met the younger man's gaze again, the Welshman had stopped struggling. They both knew what was going to happen next. __**Please forgive me… **_

_.._

"I suppose you just say it," Ianto told him in a carefully neutral tone, unsure how exactly to process what Jack had just said.

"I_ didn't_ have a choice," even without telling the younger man any of the details, he couldn't stop the tears. Couldn't stop the hurt. Every time he went to sleep, he relived that day, over and over and over and he just wanted it to stop… "If there was anything I could have done to save you, I would have… I swear I would have."

Ianto wiped the fresh rush of tears from the Captain's face. "I believe you."

..

"_I'm so sorry," he whispered into his lover's ear; the Master hadn't removed the gag, wouldn't allow them any kind of proper goodbye. All he could do was pray he was reading Ianto's expression correctly, pray that the fact he'd stopped struggling meant what he thought it did, that Ianto had would forgive him. _

"_I love you," Jack told him softly, afraid that he might never get another chance. He still had faith in the Doctor, but what if there was no way to stop the rogue Time Lord? And even if they did stop him, there was no guarantee that time would work itself out. No one knew what would happen if they actually succeeded, all they knew was what would happen if they failed._

_Choking on his tears, he kissed Ianto's bruised, bloodied cheek as softly as he could so he wouldn't cause the younger man any more pain before snapping his neck, giving him a quick, clean death… _

_.._

He didn't want to remember the last look Ianto gave him, a mix of relief and sorrow. He didn't want remember the way Ianto had leant into him, just a little or the way he hadn't fought it or even made a sound. He didn't want to remember the horrible feeling of cracking bone under his hands or the way he went limp… "I thought if I… if we could all just… carry on… just get back to normal, to the way things were…" _then maybe I could forget. _He looked up at the younger man, but he couldn't read his expression any more. He thought he saw accusation… anger… but maybe that was just what he wanted to see… what he knew he deserved to see. How could anyone forgive him for what he'd just said? "I just want things to go back to the way they were."

"You left us, Jack. You abandoned us – me – and because of that things will never be the same again. But whatever happened, it _didn't _happen, not for me. Not here. You were gone for three months and then you came back. _That's_ what I remember. That's what happened for me – it's_** all**_ that happened. I'm still here. We're_ all_ still here. And I forgive you for leaving me and… and for whatever happened in your timeline. I trust you. I believe you when you say you didn't have a choice. I know you would _**never**_ hurt me, not like that."

Jack swallowed, trying to digest the words, trying to believe he really meant them. He closed his eyes and buried his head in his lover's chest… his _ex_-lover's chest, he reminded himself.

They weren't lovers any more. Maybe they would be again some day (and maybe they never would be), but they weren't yet. Jack didn't know what they were, he just knew that Ianto was there hanging onto him.

"I don't want the others to know," he whispered softly a long while later. "I couldn't face them if they knew."

"Your secrets will always be safe with me, Jack. You should know that by now."

"After everything I've put you through, how can you be so… ?" he couldn't find the right word, though.

"Dependable?" Ianto supplied, with just a tiny bit of a smile playing at one side of his mouth.

Jack nodded. It was as good of a word as any.

The younger man just smiled without answering. He doubted he would ever tell Jack the real reason, that he loved him, that he would do anything for him… he suspected Jack already knew the latter, anyway. "All that matters is that you can always count on me."

"Thank you."

Ianto smiled, "You're welcome. But… Jack… why did you really come back? After all that…?"

"There was too much left to do here. You… Tosh, Owen… Gwen… I wasn't ready to leave you."

Ianto forced a tight smile. It might not be the answer he really wanted to hear, but it seemed like an honest answer and that was better than a lie, even if the lie consisted of all the words he wanted to hear. "I'm glad you're here," he told Jack honestly.

"Me too."


	58. Teal

**A/N:** We're back to the "future" timeline, picking up where we left off at Chapter 41 with a short chapter to get back into it.

Again, I apologize for the jumping back and forth. I may do a set of chapters for season two, but here's one for everyone (myself included) who has requested fluffy, sexy and/or romantic, here you go! This is for all of you.

**Setting**: Ianto is feeling like a wicked step mother, Jason is lashing out, Ella is coddling him and Jack is trying to figure out how to keep it all together…

* * *

**Chapter Fifty Eight: Teal**

……………………………………………

At Gwen's insistence, Ianto left the Hub early. He didn't want to slack off even though it _was_ supposed to be his day off not Jack's, but it had been a quiet day and if anything came up, he knew Gwen would call.

Besides, having an extra person on staff made it easier to take a little more personal time. Maybe it was time to talk to Jack about adding a few more people to the Torchwood team. After that thing with the Daleks the whole world was aware of the existence of extraterrestrial life. Thankfully, though, most people were just trying to get back to their own lives. _Still, it would make the recruitment process that much easier,_ Ianto thought as he parked next to the curb across the street from the mid-terrace house he shared with his partner, step-son, and mother in law. In some ways, this arrangement was stranger than moving into the Hub with Jack, Janet and Myfanwy.

He waved hello to the neighbours, collected their mail from the box and opened his front door. He was greeted by the scent of drying paint and something completely unidentifiable in the kitchen. _Oh dear…_ Jack must be cooking again.

He knew it had to be Jack; they had established early on that Ella didn't cook. Or more to the point, her culinary skills were only slightly better than Ianto's and that was probably only because she was thirty years his senior. Jack, it seemed, had grown up eating the fifty first century equivalent of TV dinners and whatever he could scrounge up for himself.

"Ianto? Is that you?" the Captain's voice rang out from the kitchen, confirming his greatest fears. Jack _was _a fantastic cook; however he left a spectacular mess in his wake _every_ time.

"Yup," the Welshman answered, loudly enough to be heard in the next room.

He set the bag from his mother down by the door.

There was no furniture in the living room; the new carpet was coming tomorrow and the furniture on Monday. Ianto had coordinated the schedule _very_ carefully. First the paint, then the carpet, then the furniture. Hopefully he and Jack would get a chance to put the curtains up tonight, if the paint was dry enough.

"I see the painters were here," he slipped out of his shoes, inspecting the walls with a critical eye. The paint seemed almost dry and there were no spots or patchy places.

"I'm _really_ not sure about that colour," Jack hollered from the kitchen.

"It was teal or mauve," the younger man answered. "You chose the teal." Of course there was a reason Jack's only other choice had been something Ianto knew his partner would never want. "Besides I told you we could do the bedroom…" he stopped midsentence when Jack walked into the living room wearing nothing but an apron and a smile. "I take it your mother isn't home…" he hoped. Jack had absolutely no qualms about walking around naked and neither did his mother. It had been all Ianto could do to keep his composure the first time he'd seen his mother in law coming out of the bath without so much as a towel wrapped around her.

Jack's grin deepened. "She took Jason to a movie," he explained.

"I thought they were going to go to a museum."

"They decided on a movie instead."

Ianto stifled a groan. It wasn't the end of the world. He'd lived through the end of the world. Twice… or maybe three times… he'd lost count. He loosened his tie. "What's for supper?" he asked, determined not to get upset over the little bumps in the road. It wasn't too difficult a task, honestly, with Jack standing there wearing next to nothing.

"Meatloaf."

Ianto gave him a quizzical look.

"I'm trying out some American recipes for when we have your mother over."

"When are we having my mother over?"

"Tuesday night."

He was no longer able to stifle his groan.

Chuckling, Jack crossed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist.

Ianto relaxed against him. He would worry about Tuesday on Tuesday. After all, he might get lucky. Aliens might invade and they'd have to cancel.

Jack kissed him gently, then flashed a mischievous grin. "The dining room table was delivered this afternoon," he said, his eyebrows raised suggestively. "Wanna break it in?"

"Jack…"

"What?"

"We're going to eat on that…"

"That's just _exactly _what I had in mind," he leant forward and kissed his partner long and hard, preventing further argument. A moment later he was unbuttoning Ianto's shirt, kissing his way down the young Welshman's chest.

"Jack… I… " he felt Jack's hands on his trouser zipper… a moment later Jack's mouth was nuzzling softly against his flesh. "What if… Jack… Cariad… oh God… " his breath hitched as he did that thing with his tongue.

"Hmmm?" the older man glanced up at him, his mouth too full for a better response.

"This… is… entirely inappropriate…"

Jack chuckled and shifted so he could speak. "What's the point of having our own place if we can't behave inappropriately in it?" he asked, although he didn't give his Welshman the chance to answer. He had several techniques for shutting Ianto up and of all of them, _this _was his favourite…

In short order, Jack had removed the younger man's trousers, despite his protests that until they got around to putting up the curtains anyone could see right in. Then, in a swift, sudden move, he hoisted the younger man up over his shoulder causing him to shriek and giggle… Jack could think of few sounds he loved more than the sound of Ianto laughing.

"I swear some days you are so juvenile!" the younger man protested, grinning, as Jack carried him through the kitchen and into the dining nook. He lowered him to the table top.

"And your point is?" Jack queried, straddling his partner, kissing him again. His lips, his neck… his throat… shoulders… ears… he kissed his way back down Ianto's chest and stomach until he returned to that place he loved so much.

"How… how long do we have…?" Ianto only barely managed to gasp out the question.

"'Bout an hour. Why?"

Mustering up his last shred of willpower (and suddenly _very _glad they'd gone for the solid oak table), Ianto wriggled away from Jack and reversed their positions, pinning his partner under him. "Because you owe me for going into work for you today," he flashed a wicked grin. "And I intend to collect."

"Anything you say…"

"Anything?" Ianto asked, raising an eyebrow.

"_Anything_."

The younger man slid the tie from around his neck. "I believe there's some pineapple in the fridge. Get it for me."

Silently Jack nodded, trying to conceal the smile forming on his lips as he slipped happily into the role his partner's tone made it clear he was demanding.

When Ianto inquired whether he was going to behave or if had to be tied up this time, Jack suggested with a look that he would behave himself, however whatever Ianto wanted to do to him was entirely up to him… He only wished they had more than an hour to play.


	59. For Better or Worse

**A/N: only **because you asked for it, you get a peak into Ianto's head and some of what he did with that pineapple… for the rest, however you're going to have to use your imaginations ;-)

Many thanks again for the reviews ;-)

* * *

**Chapter Fifty Nine: For Better or Worse**

……………………………………………..

If Jack's mother thought anything of finding her son in law's trousers and underwear in the living room and his shirt, jacket and tie in the kitchen, along with a half empty bowl of pineapple chunks, she didn't say anything. Ianto doubted she would have said anything if she'd come in ten minutes earlier, either, although given Jason was with her, he was just as glad he'd kept his eye on the clock.

"Papa!" Jason barrelled passed him to tackle Jack who was half way down the stairs, just behind his partner, buttoning up the last of the buttons of a clean shirt.

Laughing, the older man hoisted his son up over his shoulder, and carried him back downstairs as Jason giggled and chattered on about the movie.

Ianto retrieved his clothing from the living room floor. Both he and Jack had showered and changed, Jack into what he always wore and Ianto into jeans and a pullover. "I'm just going to go put these upstairs," he said absently of his work clothes. _Not that anybody's going to miss me_, he thought sullenly. Whenever Jason and Ella were around, he turned into the Invisible Man.

He went into the kitchen to collect the rest of his clothes and found Ella eating a piece of pineapple. He felt his cheeks grow flush.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

The Welshman found himself incapable of meeting his gaze. "Yup. Fine. Thanks."

"Ianto?"

He forced a tight smile and beat a hasty retreat. All he could picture was Jack, naked and beautiful, on his knees on the table with hands tied behind his back. (Jack was right; there were _much_ better uses for neckties than merely accessorizing suits.)

As soon as he got to the sanctuary of their bedroom, Ianto closed the door behind him, praying that Jack wouldn't tell his mother what they'd been up to...

…

_No words were exchanged. All Ianto had to do was to hold the bowl where the other man could get at the pineapple for Jack to understand what was expected of him. _

_The game wasn't new; Jack had started it a long time ago. He'd asked Ianto if he trusted him, then tied his hands behind his back, blindfolded him and made the younger man very nervous until he figured out that Jack wasn't putting anything more nefarious into his mouth than a strawberry. _

_Ianto, however, preferred pineapple. _

_He kept his face carefully neutral even though the sight of Jack (very intentionally) using his lips and tongue to gather up a chunk of the sweet yellow fruit was lovely indeed. Jack could make walking across the room look sexy even when he wasn't trying, and Ianto had no delusions that at that very moment the Captain was trying very hard to be as sexually enticing as possible with the pineapple. Which was exactly why he took it from Jack's lips delicately, not touching his partner's mouth at all._

_Try as he may, Jack couldn't keep the look of disappointment off his face. Usually the game involved a lot of kissing through mouthfuls of fruit._

_The Welshman made no attempt to hide his satisfaction at his partner's expression. He gave Jack a smug grin and indicated with a look that he would like another piece. He wasn't actually in a vindictive mood, although he reckoned he should be, he just knew that deep down Jack usually enjoyed being teased. If he had had any doubts, a quick glance down would have removed them. The more Ianto teased him, the more Jack's body responded positively. _

_Ianto took the second piece offered him the same way he'd taken the first. His lips never touched his partner's mouth, despite the way Jack had put extra effort into making a show of getting it out of the bowl (Ianto would bet anything he could tie a cherry stem with his tongue.) _

_Jack watched his partner's face carefully when he went for the third piece; his expression was impassive, bland, impossible to read. There seemed to be a bit of mischief twinkling in those grey-blue eyes, but he wasn't certain. Ianto wasn't playing the way he usually did, he was never this quiet. _

"_Are you upset with me?" he asked carefully, after Ianto took the third piece without touching him. Asking questions was breaking the rules he'd established a long time ago, but he needed to know if something was really wrong. He trusted Ianto implicitly, but if his partner was upset, he wanted to know so they could talk about it._

"_Is it your place to ask?" came the quick, cool reply out of the Welshman's mouth._

_Jack swallowed. He dropped his gaze, forcing himself back into the role; if there was a problem they could deal with it later. "No."_

"_Didn't think so," his tone remained cool. Ianto stroked his cheek, however, bringing Jack's lips up to his and kissing him, making it clear that it was all right for his partner to return the kiss. "I love you," he said softly, reassuring him that he was only playing. _

_He fed Jack a piece of pineapple, even though pineapples weren't really his favourite. He allowed the older man to play at his fingers with his lips and tongue and then kissed him again, long and hard. _

_He set down the bowl and let his hands wander over his partner's chest, his stomach… a soft moan escaped Jack's lips as he ran his fingers lightly up his shaft… _

"_I should be upset with you for breaking the rules, though," he said then, allowing a wicked smile to play across his lips._

"_Yes, you should," Jack agreed readily, trying (but failing) to keep from smiling himself. _

_Chuckling, Ianto stole a quick glance at the clock and calculated exactly how much time he had to make the other man 'suffer'… _

...

Ianto heaved a heavy sigh when he found the clothes hamper overflowing. He _had_ intended to do laundry today before he'd decided to go into work instead. "Oh well, no time like the present," he muttered as he hauled the empty laundry baskets out of the wardrobe. He really shouldn't have expected Jack to do the wash without specifically being asked.

Ianto began separating their clothes, darks in one basket, whites in another and colours (mostly his work shirts) in the third. A light tap on the bedroom door startled him. It wasn't like Jack to knock. "Yeah?"

The door cracked open; it was Ella. "May I come in?"

"Yeah, sure," he found himself blushing again. He still couldn't look her in the eye.

"What are you doing?" she asked, stepping just inside the door.

"Sorting laundry." It occurred to him that he should check Jason's hamper as well.

"Can I give you a hand?" Ella offered; he missed the tentativeness in her voice.

"Sure, why not?" _I wonder if she thinks I can't handle this, either,_ Ianto thought acerbically.

"I'm afraid I haven't really figured out the washing machine."

"Ah. It's pretty straight forward," he told her, realizing suddenly that it was only straightforward if one could read the instructions, something she couldn't do. "I can show you how it works if you like." He flashed what he hoped was a friendly smile, feeling like a heel for his angry thoughts. He honestly couldn't imagine how he'd feel if he suddenly found himself living three thousand years in the past... of course coming here _had_ been her idea. She wasn't like Jack who had gotten stranded.

Then Ianto realized that his mother in law was going through his dirty laundry… his underwear… He blushed again.

"Dark clothing, light clothing, and… your shirts?" she asked for clarification, seemingly completely at ease handling his underclothing.

_Of course she is a mother,_ he thought. Some things were probably universal.

"Erm… any bright colours," he answered her question, trying again to look at her.

"Like I said, your shirts," she teased.

He chuckled. "He really doesn't go in for a lot of colour, does he?" Ianto remarked, remembering the day he'd helped Jack clean out his wardrobe in the Doctor's TARDIS. The only thing that had surprised him were the black leather pants, not that he particularly minded that little surprise. He minded them even less when he was able to talk Jack into wearing them for him.

"He never was one for a lot of flash," Ella said. "Although I suppose he makes up for it in personality."

"I just thought that all men from your time were like that," he replied.

She flashed a wry grin. "Not hardly."

"What are men like? I mean… what's it like there… in the fifty first century?"

Ella shrugged her shoulders, "People are people. From what I've seen here, humans haven't changed that much. We have the same drives, the same motivations. Social customs change, of course…"

"The sexual Dark Ages?"

"You can't say you haven't noticed the way your neighbours look at you two," her tone was sour, making it clear what she thought of that.

"I hunt down aliens and alien technology for a living. What the neighbours think of my personal life isn't important enough to care about."

"I suppose not."

They worked in almost comfortable silence for several minutes before Ianto spoke again. "Jack told you I wanted to talk to you, didn't he?" he said. It was the only explanation he had for his mother in law coming into help him separate laundry. While she certainly did her fair share around the house, this was the first time she'd shown an interest in helping him with domestic chores.

Ella nodded.

He moved the baskets off the bed so they could sit down, letting her have a seat first before settling in next to her.

"I understand that you're upset about this morning…" she began.

Ianto shook his head. "This isn't about Jason not going to school today," he told her honestly.

"Then what is it?"

He took a breath and let it again. The only way he could say what he wanted to was to just say it and hope it didn't turn out to be the start of an arguement. "You jump in _every_ time Jason starts giving me a hard time."

"I'm just trying to help. I thought that's why you wanted me to live with you."

"Ella, telling Jason he doesn't have to go to school after I've told him he does _isn't_ helping. Jason has to respect to respect what I have to say and he's not going to do that if you keep undercutting me," he told her, struggling to keep his tone neutral. "I _can't_ be the only adult in the house enforcing the rules and the rules have to be the same whether he's dealing with you or Jack or me."

She regarded him just long enough to make Ianto uncomfortable. "May I be completely open with you?"

"Of course. Please."

"You make my son happier than I've ever seen him and I know you love him just as much as he loves you. I love you for that, for making him so happy. I love you for everything you've done for us because I'm quite sure that you didn't have anything like this in mind when you asked Jack to marry you. But that doesn't change the fact that you are _ten years_ younger than he was the last time I saw him. I realize that with everything that's happened to him, it probably doesn't matter to anyone but me, but Roan was almost forty when we lost him. If Jason had been born in this time, you would barely have been seventeen years old when they had him. Jack was twenty seven. When I look at you all I see is a child and I wonder what you could possibly know about raising another man's son, a son who would have been born when you were still in your teens."

Dumbstruck, he took several moments to think about what she'd just said. He couldn't believe that it all came down to age, especially given that when they'd met, Jack was already over a hundred years his senior.

But he supposed there was more to it, even if this was the way Ella was expressing it.

"I'm not Roan," he said at last. "I'm not trying to replace him. I couldn't even if I tried."

"Ianto…"

He shook his head, cutting her off. It was his turn to speak. "I'm sure you must have loved Roan as much as you loved your own sons. I'm sure you still love him," he added. "And I know you came here looking for one son but found the other one, the one you never expected to see again, the one whose partner you just buried, whose son you've been raising. Not only that but here Jack is, married to some strange man who's fifteen years younger than Jason's other father." Ianto pulled both legs up under him, so that he was sitting cross-legged on the bed. "But that _doesn't_ make me a child, Ella. I'm twenty five years old. I'm Jack's husband. His partner. His equal."

"Jack was twenty five when they met."

"I know. But I'm not Jack."

"He loved Jack_ so_ much," her voice caught. Ella closed her eyes, but tears escaped and trickled down her cheeks. "He loved him until the day he died. He told me that Jack would be there for us. Even after Jack abandoned him…Jason... me. Roan _never_ gave up on him."

"He… he must have been an extraordinary person," he said the only thing he could think of, as he tried to ignore how much it hurt to be competing with Roan's memory again.

"He wasn't," she told him honestly. "He was… soft. Quiet. To tell you the truth, you remind me of him and that's… I can't help but wonder what my son sees in you when he missed the same good qualities in the man he fathered a child with."

Ianto didn't know how to react. "I… I don't know," he finally said.

Her smile was difficult to understand. "He probably would have liked you. You keep Jack organized. You… you help him to stay grounded. He's not the person I remember him being."

"The only thing I can take any credit for is keeping him organized."

She chuckled, though very softly, "I think you can take credit for much more than that. And I'm sorry. I _know_ I'm being unfair. You're right, you _are_ my son's husband. You're the one he chose, his partner. And he couldn't have chosen better… I just… I see a child when I look at you."

"But I'm _not_ a child," he told her again. "I know what it is to love somebody. To lose somebody." _To love again… _to live.

"Jack knew all that too. The things he lived through as a boy…"

"I'm not Jack, Ella," Ianto repeated. "I know who I am and I owe a great deal of who I am to him. He is… he's the one true love of my life," he told her sincerely.

"Even though you know he's going to live forever?" she wanted to know.

"Yes."

Jack's mother looked away for a long moment, leaving him wondering what she was really thinking. Finally, she asked him what he she could do to make the situation better.

"Don't jump in when Jason gives me a hard time and don't… don't make me feel like the odd man out in my own home."

"Have I really done that?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"It's all right. We just… we have to figure this out is all."

She nodded, agreeing with him.

……………………………………………………………

Jack sat Jason down on the floor in the little room off the dining nook and pulled the wedding album down off the bookshelf.

He had to smile when he looked around the little room Ianto had spent hours organizing. Every book was pulled neatly out to edge of the shelf and arranged by subject, and then author's last name. The movies and CD's were arranged in much the same fashion. Ianto had been adamant that Billy Joel did _not_ go in between the Beatles and the Byrds, because according to the younger man any idiot knew that it was Joel, Billy… Jack had refrained from telling his partner that he gave the phrase 'anal retentive' whole new meaning. Even if it wouldn't have a lasting effect, Jack didn't like the idea of finding a lethal dose of strychnine in his morning coffee…

"What's that?" his son asked when he sat down with the huge photo album.

"These were taken the day Ianto and I got married," he explained. "I thought you might like to see."

The boy shrugged, not seeming particularly interested.

Jack pulled his son into his lap opened the book up on the floor in front of them. The first picture was a copy of the one Ianto kept on his desk. Of all the pictures that had been taken that day, that one was Ianto's favourite because he said that everyone important was in it and they were all smiling 'real' smiles, not 'posed' smiles.

Jack just hoped that showing by Jason the wedding album, he would help his son understand how important Ianto was to him. If Jason understood that, maybe he'd start to accept him, because Jack hadn't missed the way Jason barrelled past him earlier or the look on Ianto's face when he'd done it.


	60. Stories

**A/N:**

Extra special thanks to LadyAnalyn… the opening scene wouldn't exist without your request, and I'm so glad it does because I love warm fuzzy moments…

Thank you to Judy, also, for prompting the conversation between Jack and Ella.

Of course I continue to appreciate everyone who has reviewed, favourited/story-alerted this. It makes my day to see your comments or just to know that you're still reading and hopefully enjoying.

Please (pretty please?) check out the new story I've written for Torchwood… it takes place after this and even though it isn't fluff per se, you know I can't do Jack and Ianto without warm fuzzy moments.

* * *

**Chapter Sixty: Stories**

……………………………………………..

After showing Ella how to set up the washing machine and peeking in on dinner (it frightened him), Ianto poked his head into the little room off the dining nook where he'd spied Jack and Jason on his way through the kitchen. The were hunched over the wedding album. For all that he was unhappy about lately, Ianto couldn't get over how the warm feeling he got when he saw incredibly cute Jack looked sitting there with his son in his lap like that. No matter what, he would never, ever begrudge his partner the happiness that having his family back had brought him.

Jack looked up and saw him leaning there in the doorway, and smiled. "Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey yourself," Ianto replied, just as softly. "What're you two up to?"

"I was telling Jason here about the best day of my life."

The Welshman's smile deepened, "The best day, huh?"

"Well… I suppose it's up there in the top ten, anyway. Real near the top," he added, giving the top of his son's head a small kiss.

"I don't mind coming in under the birth of your children, Cariad."

Jason frowned. "Children?"

_Oops…_ Ianto shot his partner an apologetic look.

Jack shook his head, his expression telling the Welshman not to worry about it. "You want to come join us?" He asked. The uncertainty in Ianto's expression didn't escape him. He gave the younger man a pleading look that Ianto was rarely able to resist.

Although he wasn't convinced that he was completely welcome, Ianto joined Jack and Jason on the floor; Jack's son shot him a dubious look. Jack leant over and kissed him, very softly, on the lips.

"I love you," he whispered in Jack's ear.

"Love you too," the older man echoed with a smile that made all the hurt go away.

Jason made a face, "Yuck."

Jack chuckled, "Don't knock it, kiddo. One of these days you're going to find somebody you like kissing too."

"Let's not make that _too_ soon, shall we?" Ianto amended.

"Oh I don't know, I had my first kiss at about his age…"

Ianto gave him a look.

"What? She chased me until I kissed her… Saran… Salla…?"

"It was both of them," Ella chimed in from the doorway. "Twins," she added for Ianto's benefit.

He rolled his eyes. "I see you started early."

Jack just laughed. "What about you?"

"I'll have you know I was thirteen years old when I kissed my first girl."

"And your first boy?" Jack challenged, still grinning.

"That would be you and you know it."

"Late bloomer, huh?"

"Better late than never," the younger man countered, giving Jack's lips a soft kiss.

"What's a late bloomer?" Jason wanted to know.

"Someone who takes their time and doesn't kiss their first girl – or boy – until they're old enough to know what they're doing," Ianto told him. "Which is something your Papa definitely didn't do."

"I knew _exactly _what I was doing kissing those twins."

"Kissing is yucky," Jason reiterated his earlier sentiment.

Ella chuckled softly, shaking her head, and slipped out of the room to give the boys some privacy.

Jack snaked his arm around Ianto's waist and drew him in closer. The album was open to the picture someone had taken of the Doctor and Donna.

"Should we make a copy of that for him, do you think?" Ianto asked softly.

"I think he'd like that," said Jack.

The Doctor had gotten word to them about what happened, how he'd had to wipe her memory to save her life. Even though she lived in London, he and Ianto had both promised to keep an eye on her for the Time Lord.

Ianto leant closer to his partner, laying his head against the older man's shoulder, listening to Jack recount little stories from their wedding day to Jason…

………………………………………………………

As soon as Ianto stepped into Jason's room, he knew he was unwelcome. "All tucked in and ready for bed?" Ianto asked, ignoring the sour look Jack's son was giving him. Jack had tucked Jason in just a few minutes ago and the usual routine was for Ella to come in and read to him for half an hour.

The boy looked up at Ianto questioningly; accusingly. The Welshman was carrying a book.

Ianto forced a congenial smile and came over to sit on the edge of the bed, doing his best to ignore Jason's expression.

"Where's Gramma?"

"I thought it might be nice if I read to you for a change," Ianto answered.

Jason's eyes narrowed.

Ianto showed him the book, "My Mam got this for you. You're going to meet her in a few days," he went on. "This was one of my favourite stories when I was your age. Can you read any of the words?"

Not only did Jason refuse to answer, he made a clear show of turning off the translator and setting it on the bedside table, a defiant look on his face.

Undaunted, Ianto continued, "Suit yourself. It might be better for you to hear more English, anyway." He propped the book open so Jason could see the words. "Although one of the best things about this book, is that it's written in both English and Welsh," he pointed to the dual lines of text. He read the first lines in English and then in Welsh.

The boy gave him a look, clearly hearing the difference.

Ianto smiled. "Your Papa says that the Welsh language doesn't have enough vowels," he noted that Jason reacted to the word 'papa', at least. He suspected that Jack's son knew more English than he was letting on. "Mam used to read to me in Welsh," he continued. "In fact, I grew up speaking more Welsh than English. Then I got sent to a school where they spoke mostly English, so I understand a little bit of what you're going through. I had a step father too. He was a tailor… he died a few years ago. We really have more in common than you think, you know."

Wearing a reluctant expression, Jason reached over and turned the translator back on.

"It won't do me any good to read to you in both languages if you keep using that thing."

"Why do I have to learn English anyway?"

"Because you're living in Great Britain and that's the language we all speak here."

"Why doesn't everybody just use translators?"

"They haven't been invented yet. Besides, language is important to people. That's why here in Wales a lot of us still speak Welsh."

"But then the people who only speak English don't understand you."

Ianto chuckled, "My Mam might tell you that that's exactly the point." He took the translator from the child's hands and switched it off again. "Let's try this way," he said, repositioning himself so he was leaning up against the headboard.

Ianto motioned for Jason to scoot closer; he was surprised when the child moved. He read slowly, first in English and then in Welsh, running his finger along under the words…

Outside Jason's bedroom door, Ella was leaning up against the wall, listening. She looked up when she heard Jack coming up the steps.

"He's pretty good with kids," he said softly, not wanting Ianto to realize he was being listened in on.

"I wouldn't have expected it," Ella confided in a similarly quiet tone. "He's hardly out of his teens himself."

"He's twenty five, Mom."

"And I remember what you were like at that age," she shifted away from the wall so their conversation wouldn't disturb her son in law.

Jack sat down on top step; his mother sat down next to him. "He's nothing like I was. He's seen so much…"

"So he says."

Jack regarded her a moment; Ianto had declined to tell him how their talk went. "He was with me on the Dalek flagship when they displaced the planet…"

Ella shot him an incredulous look. "When _what?"_

"The Daleks…?"

"Yes, I know what Daleks are. But displaced the planet?" she questioned.

"A few months ago the Daleks hijacked the Earth and twenty six other planets… " because even if it hadn't happened for him, it should have happened for her… he hoped. Otherwise, Davros had not only re-written history, he'd created some sort of temporal paradox that was bound to have nasty repercussions somewhere down the line.

"Jack, I may not be your father, but I think I'd remember_ that_ from my history class."

Jack took a deep breath and let it out again. "I was afraid of that."

"Afraid of what?"

He shook his head, "Never mind. It's nothing you need to worry about," he told her.

"Jack…"

"I'll work it out," he assured her. "But the point I was making is that Ianto was there with me when the Earth was stolen out of the sky and transported to the Medusa Cascade. He fought the Daleks with me. He's fought Cybermen… Sontarans. He's not a kid."

"He's twenty five."

"I was almost a hundred and seventy five years old when we met. You can't exactly tell me that I should be dating people my own age, at least not on this planet."

Ella gave her son a long penetrating look. "What are you going to do when he grows old while you stay the same?" she asked in a soft, thoughtful tone.

"I'm going to love him," he told her. "I'm going to love him_ just_ like I do now." _I'm going to love him for as long as I live… _Jack fought to ignore the lump in his throat, the tightness in his chest. No one in Torchwood Three had _**ever**_ grown old; he and Ianto both knew that. They all did. _But they do it anyway,_ he thought. Mickey, Wendy, Bobby, Gwen… Toshiko. Owen. They all knew the risks. They did the job anyway.

His mother gave him another long look, "What aren't you telling me?"

Jack smiled at her ability to see right through him. "It's nothing you need to worry about, Mom. All that matters is right now, enjoying what we've got while it lasts, because nothing lasts forever, not even me."

* * *

**A/N:** Yes, I am working up to something with the whole timelines and paradox thing... I'm just working slowly... but there IS a reason Jack's old boss from the Time Agency helped his mother and it had nothing to do with a charitable nature... but that's another story entirely, and not the new one I've started working on.

Again, huge thank yous to everybody reading this. I appreciate the fact that you are reading whether you leave comments or not.


	61. Calm Between the Storms

…………………………………………………………

**A/N: **just a short fluffy chapter because I wanted to update this once before I head out of town next week. When I come back, I'll write about dinner w/ Ianto's mother ;-)

If anyone is interested, I've got a **poll** going in my profile… it's mostly for fun, but with everything going on in Jack and Ianto's lives (and what's happening with Gwen in my **Blood Moon Rising**), I thought it might be time for Jack to look for a one or two good men or women to add to the ranks of Torchwood (besides, I've never played with the polls option before ;-)

* * *

**Chapter Sixty One: Calm Between the Storms**

……………………………………………..

Jack slid up behind his partner in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist, pulling him in close.

"Morning," Ianto murmured sleepily; he'd only been out of bed a few minutes.

"You got up before the alarm."

Ianto shrugged; it was five thirty in the morning. The alarm on his side of the bed normally went off at five forty five. Jack's would go off twenty minutes after that, although it was rare for the Captain to actually be in bed when it did. Today, however, was the exception. When Ianto had woken up, he'd found Jack in bed sleeping next to him. His plan had been to bring him coffee in bed.

"Anything the matter?" Jack asked softly, nuzzling the back of the younger man's neck.

"No. Just felt like getting up, I guess," he turned in his partner's arms and kissed his lips softly. They hadn't talked much when he came to bed last night; Ianto knew that both Jack and Ella had been outside the door while he was reading to Jason.

"Why don't you take the day off today?" Jack suggested.

Ianto frowned, "Why?"

"Because you were supposed to have yesterday off."

"Gwen's already got today off. You promised her you wouldn't call her in for anything short of an all out alien invasion." Or more to the point, Jack had promised Rhys. It was some family thing on his mother's side. Ianto suspected that Gwen would be just as happy to have aliens invade.

The Captain chuckled, his thoughts going much the same place as the younger man's. "I think we can manage with just the four of us today. Or at least three and a half," he grinned. He was still teasing Mickey about being the new guy. It didn't help matters any that the young Englishman had gotten lost in one of the subbasements two days ago. Jack had asked him to go down into storage and retrieve a few things and didn't come back for almost an hour and a half.

"You should be nicer to him," Ianto pulled away from Jack to get their cups down out of the cupboard.

Still chuckling, Jack got the milk out of the fridge. "I didn't think you even liked Mickey," he said over his shoulder. Before setting the milk on the counter, he jotted a note on the pad that they kept magneted to the fridge. They were almost out of milk, bread, and marmite. He added onions and ground mutton to the list as well. Despite Ianto's apprehension, the meatloaf had turned out pretty good – he just thought it would be better done with lamb.

"Of course I like Mickey," said Ianto. _He's just not Tosh…_ Mickey had taken over her old station. He turned when he felt Jack's on his back.

"I know," the older man said softly, recognizing the look on his partner's face for what it was. Mickey was the most computer savvy of the team; it had only made sense to let him take over a workstation that was already set up for the kind of work Jack was starting to give him.

That didn't make it easier, however, for either of them to look over and see someone else sitting in Toshiko's chair. It felt a little too much like she'd been replaced, even though they all knew she was truly irreplaceable. _They all are,_ Jack thought as his gut tightened. He loved them all so much…

Just then, Jason burst into the room, flinging his arms around his father's waist.

Jack laughed, more glad than he could express of the sudden distraction. "How is it that it takes a herd of wild elephants to drag you out of bed during the week, but on Saturday you're up at the crack of dawn?" he hoisted his son up into his arms while Ianto fixed his coffee.

Jason shrugged and held his Papa close. Then he glanced over at Ianto and said a quiet "good morning, Ianto," in the other man's direction. He seemed to be pushing himself to smile a little more than usual in the Welshman's direction.

"Good morning to you too," he replied, trying to hide his surprise; this was a first. "You hungry?"

Jack set his son down so he could get to his coffee and smiled as Jason let Ianto get his breakfast. Typically, Jason would insist that his Papa got it for him.

"Cold cereal or oatmeal?" Ianto inquired.

"Oatmeal with peanut butter…?" Jason asked.

"You got that from your Papa, didn't you?" Ianto made a face that caused Jason to giggle. It was a well established fact that the young Welshman did not care for peanut butter. He'd eaten too much of it when he was young and couldn't afford anything else.

Jack sat down at the table and watched the scene in the kitchen. For just a few minutes each morning, this morning especially, he was part of a perfectly normal, ordinary family. It was a nice feeling, even though he knew it was just the calm between storms.

But as long as there was this little bit of calm, the storms didn't seem so bad.


	62. Crossroads

This is a **TOTAL** divergance from everything so far... I just needed something to work on this morning between getting up and taking my husband to work and going to class....

**IMPORTANT ****A/N: **I've had this conversation (the one towards the end of the chapter) as well as the basic scenario going through my head for a long time. I may or may not ever write the whole story, but you can presume a happy ending.

**Timing**: Jack and Ianto have been married for several years, so it falls past everything I have written so far… it is truly only a snippet of a story.

* * *

**Crossroads**

…………………………………………………………………

"Let me talk to him," Jack demanded, trying not to sound as panicked as he felt. There was an extended silence on the other end while Jack held his breath and swore that if she'd hurt him… "Noreen," his tone was one of warning.

"Fine. You can talk." Her image faded out so that all that was left was a blank screen.

"Ianto?"

"Jack!"

He felt his heart stop at the sound of his partner's voice over the com. He only wished he could see him, see that they hadn't hurt him…

"I'm all right, Jack," he seemed to understand the other's fear. "I have no idea where I am or how I got here…"

"Don't worry," Jack cut him off. He knew she wouldn't give him much time. "I'm going to get you out of there. Just hang on, ok? I'll be there. I won't leave you." _I won't ever leave you._

"I know." Ianto didn't sound as if he believed it, though… not that he sounded frightened. He sounded brave, but Jack knew that meant he was really scared out of his mind.

Noreen's face came back onto the screen… Jack knew Ianto couldn't hear him any more. He wouldn't have said 'I love you', even if he'd had the opportunity, he wouldn't give her any satisfaction… but he still wished… he wished he'd said it. Something deep in his gut told him he might never get the chance again…he felt sick.

"There," Noreen said. "Satisfied?"

"No."

"As long as you cooperate, he won't be harmed."

He didn't believe her. It didn't matter. He didn't have a choice. "What do you want?"

……………………………………………………………………….

Ianto called out Jack's name twice before he was convinced his Captain couldn't hear him any more. He took a deep breath and sunk against the smooth white wall of the little cell.

There was no door. No windows. Nothing. Just walls. Ceiling. Floor. White. Cool, gently glowing white. He didn't even know how he'd gotten there… some sort of transmat, he supposed. It must've been.

That meant aliens. Aliens who wanted something… something from Jack.

Ianto felt sick. He didn't expect them to just let him go when this was all done. He didn't know why, but he just knew… this was it. That was his last conversation… it wasn't fair! They'd only had a few short years together… _life isn't fair._

Nausea rose up in him… his stomach heaved… it had been hours since he'd eaten, there was nothing left to come up… he remembered feeling like this just before he woke up here…

The white walls faded to black… a thousand pixels of colour blurred in his vision… his gut lurched and suddenly he was in a different room.

A very different room.

The lighting was dim… soft. There was settee… pillows… lamps…a coffee table. Food and drink had been set out…

He blinked.

Pineapple.

Cheese. Crackers.

Chocolate chip cookies.

Tea?

A quick sniff told him it was orange jasmine tea. There was a teacup, cream and sugar… it was almost like he was sitting in someone's living room.

Ianto pulled himself up off the floor, his mind reeling.

Suddenly the door opened and… they were humanoid. He thought. Maybe. They were small, no more than four foot tall, and wearing long dark robes… he couldn't see their faces. He swallowed. It wasn't the most rational fear in the world, but he'd always been afraid of those little robed dwarfs from the _Phantasm_ movies, ever since he was a little kid and saw the first movie late one night when he was supposed to be asleep.

He backed to the wall opposite the door as they approached; there were three of them. The one in the lead wore something around its neck. The something glowed. "Please do not be alarmed. You are the Master's guest. Welcome."

_The __Master_… Ianto swallowed hard as irrational fear was quickly replaced a very rational fear. Jack had told him that story… the year that never was… Harold Saxon… the Time Lord called the Master. "What… what Master?" he asked in a shaky tone .

There was a long pause during which the three exchanged a series of shrill chirps and whistles. The leader turned back to him. "Please do not be alarmed. No harm will come to you, Mr. Jones."

Ianto swallowed again, but the cold lump in his throat refused to go away. "What… what does the Master want with me?" What kind of game was he playing… why shuffle him from one room to another? Why go through all this trouble? There had to be a reason, something he wanted…

"You are his guest. Please. Eat. Drink. Rest," the small alien gestured towards the table and settee… Ianto noticed there were only three fingers on its gloved hand.

"Where am I?"

"The Master's ship."

"Where… where is that?"

There was another brief conference between the three. "We are in orbit around the planet. You were on the planet's surface. Now you are here. The year is 5078."

Ianto felt his knees grow weak.

"Rest."

He didn't have much choice… after they left, he sat down to keep from falling down, right there on the floor, and drew his knees up tight against his chest.

The fifty-first century. Jack's era. What was he doing here?

_The Master_… cold fear gripped hold of him and refused to let go. As near as he could figure he'd gone from the frying pan straight into the fire, because he was pretty sure it hadn't been the Master who had had him before…

…………………………………….

Ianto had no idea how long he'd been sitting there hugging his knees, trying very hard not to give into overwhelming despair, when the door slid open a second time. The three little aliens came back in… or he presumed they were the same three, really it was impossible to tell. He looked up, wondering what they were going to do to him… wondering just how hard it would be to get past them and if he did, how he would get away… how he would get home. _Jack… _he'd said he would come… but how could he?

Short of the Doctor showing up, Ianto didn't see a way out of this.

"Was the food not to your satisfaction?"

He blinked at the sound of the alien's 'voice'. He was pretty sure the thing around it's neck was a translator. He didn't answer.

"Do you require something else?" it inqured.

"You… you said I was the Master's guest," the knot in his gut tightened. "Can I… see him? Talk to him, maybe?" Ianto asked, forcing his voice not to shake. The only way out of this was to find out what was going on, what they wanted, why him, why Jack. Why this century… he was pretty sure he couldn't fight his way out, but maybe if he knew more…

The three conferred briefly. The leader turned back to him. "The Master wishes to convey an apology. An unfortunate choice of words. You have nothing to fear, Mr. Jones. You are his guest." It seemed to be having difficulty with some of the concepts it was trying to convey. "He wishes only for your comfort. Please eat."

"What unfortunate choice of words?"

"You have nothing to fear. Please eat. Please do not fear. You are safe here. No harm will come to you. You are his guest. He wishes only for your comfort."

"Who… who is your Master?" Ianto asked carefully.

"He saved us. He cares for us. He cares for you. He wishes only for your comfort. Please do not fear. You are his guest."

The Welshman chewed that over a moment. "If I'm a guest, can I leave this room?" He asked.

"You are his guest."

_Which doesn't really answer the question…_ Ianto picked himself up off the floor anyway. Keeping his attention on the three little aliens, he inched his way towards the door. They made no move to stop him. They appeared to be watching him, but they didn't actually seem hostile… they didn't seem to be carrying weapons.

He looked at the door. There was no handle that he could see… of course in the fifty first century… he jumped when he felt a small gloved hand on his. It wasn't the leader, but one of the others. Fear welled up in his throat… but all it did was direct his hand to a spot on the wall. As soon as he touched it, the door slid open.

"Th-thank you," he managed. Maybe they weren't hostile at all… maybe their 'Master' wasn't _the_ Master… maybe that's what they'd meant when they said it was an 'unfortunate choice of words'.

Ianto took a breath and looked around. Although the room he'd been assuming he was confined to was comfortably appointed, the hallway was stark metal. Several little robed aliens walked past; they didn't so much as look his way.

"You his guest," the speaker repeated, joining him in the corridor. "He wishes only for your comfort. You must eat. You must rest. You must be well."

_I must be well? _"I would like to see your Master," Ianto said in a carefully neutral tone. "To… thank him." _And get some answers. _

The three conferred briefly, then the leader nodded and started down the hall. Not knowing what else to do, Ianto followed.

At length they came to a large, open space with a broad view of the planet below. In the distance a thousand stars blazed… they must be near the heart of the galaxy. _**A**_ galaxy. Ianto knew from Jack that by his time the 'Great and Bountiful Human Empire' spanned four galaxies… it was mind boggling… he stepped up to the clear barrier to stare out at it.

It was beautiful, more amazing in person that it had been that day Jack took him to the observatory… he was so taken in by the sight of it that he barely noticed the… object… in front of the window, at the other end of the room.

It was large, nearly as tall as he was… Cylindrical…mechanical… he couldn't see what was in it… but as he approached it, he became aware that there was something inside…something large…

The cylinder rotated and he realized it was a giant head.

Ianto took a step back.

The three little aliens crowded around the head and began chirping at it… Ianto could have sworn he heard it… chuckle? Whatever it was, it didn't seem angry… not that he was sure he would be able to tell.

_Welcome,_ a voice spoke into his mind.

Ianto blinked.

_Please do not be alarmed._The voice gave the impression of immeasurable age. _You are amongst friends here, Mr. Jones. _

"Where… where am I? Who are you?"

_The little ones call me Master… an unfortunate choice of words__, I fear. I am sorry. They mean it affectionately, I think._

"You're… you're the master…?"

Ianto got the impression it might have shrugged if a head in a jar could shrug. "Mental telepathy?" he asked. That would explain the pineapple and orange jasmine tea.

_Very astute, Mr. Jone__s._

It also explained how it knew his name. "Why did you bring me here?"

It turned back towards the window. Ianto knew dismissal when he saw it, but he refused to be dismissed by a head in a jar.

"Please… can you get me back home again?" He walked around so he was facing the head. _"Please..._ I'm not from this time… I have to get home._"_

_I__ know. I cannot get you home. But you will get there. I know you will._

"Who are you?"

_Just… a friend. _It looked up at him… something in those eyes… those huge, inhuman… familiar… comforting. Like strong arms holding him close even though it didn't have arms to hold him with…

"Who are you?" he asked again, his tone softer. "Why… why am I here?"

_The Time Agency brought you__ here, to this time. They killed you. A few hours from now. Some things __**can**__ be changed, Mr. Jones. Not all points in time are fixed. _

Ianto blinked as the implications of it sunk in. He would have died. He _had _died. Down there. On that planet. In this time. "You changed history." By saving him from the Time Agency this…head… had changed history.

The head nodded.

"How?" Ianto ran a hand through his hair. "Paradox..." how many times had Jack lectured him about paradox?

_Not all points in time are fixed__, Mr. Jones, _it repeated_. I have lived long enough… I saw the first star born out of the nothing that was before there was anything… I can see so many roads… so many choices. So much pain… I can see the crossroads here… your death… your life… so clear… so very clear… I don't know which one… _there was a long, long pause.

"Sir?" he said at length.

The head looked at him, as if startled. Then it smiled a warm familiar smile. _You will go home again, soon. You will live a good life. _

"How can you know that?"

_I remember it._

Ianto regarded the head a long moment. "May…I sit with you a bit, Sir?"

_I would like that__. _

Ianto sat on the floor, his back propped up against the wall… the head in its cylinder moved a little closer, slowly, as if it expected him to balk. He didn't.

_It…would be best… when you do get back… if you don't mention this.__ Me._

Ianto nodded; he wasn't sure it was a conversation he wanted to have with Jack, his Jack, anyway. "What was it like, the beginning of the universe?" he asked…


	63. Three Things

**A/N:**

I figured it had been long enough since I added another chapter... this one takes us back in time again.

Sorry for continuing to jump all over the place in the timeline… this is just a wee bit of smutty, sexy fun, set **way** early in Jack and Ianto's relationship… it just goes to show where my mind has been lately ;-)

Although this is certainly a part of my AUverse, it isn't at all necessary to be familiar w/ the rest of it.

* * *

**Three Things**

* * *

**Rated: M **(it's not explicit but you don't have to squint real hard to see what's going on, either.)

**Timeline: Series 1, **somewhere between **They Keep Killing Suzie **and** End of Days**.

* * *

Jack pushed him into the cold cement wall so hard it hurt; he didn't care. He felt alive. Despite the cold wall digging into his back, every nerve was on fire and nothing had ever felt so good!

Mouths and tongues tangled in a flurry of heated kisses, each more furious than the last. Jack kissed his lips, his neck… he leant his head back allowing the older man access, trusting him not to leave a mark. He closed his eyes when Jack demanded his mouth again, bruising his lips, making him moan with pleasure.

Desperation.

He wanted out of his clothing, but he couldn't move. The other man held him fast. He could feel every inch of Jack's body pressing into him… grinding into him… they were both hard.

Jack's mouth smothered him, demanding his full attention, dominating the kiss. Dominating _him._ He gave into it willingly.

Jack kissed and nipped at his neck and ears some more, eliciting soft, needy groans from the Welshman under him… whispered pleas… but instead of letting him loose, he took hold of the younger man's wrists and pinned them to the wall, shaking his head, telling him to be still. He watched him carefully.

He didn't resist. He looked a little nervous… but that was the whole idea. He grinned and kissed him harder still.

Ianto didn't think he'd ever seen Jack so violent, but they'd only been doing this for a few weeks and he remembered Jack promising him he'd like it when he was rough.

So far he was right. He loved it. He loved being the centre of Jack's attention… he loved not having to think…

Then suddenly the warmth and pressure were gone… those lips… no one was holding pinned to the wall.

Ianto opened his eyes… for half a second he wondered what he possibly could have done wrong, why Jack had pulled away from him like that… he had said to be still and he'd stood still… he'd said to 'shhhh' and he had stopped trying to talk… but then he saw the expression on the other man's face. The mischievous twinkle in those gorgeous blue eyes. He felt a flutter in the pit of his stomach and tried to swallow back the nervousness that was threatening to overwhelm him.

"You can get undressed now," said Jack in a tone that brooked no room to argue. Not that Ianto would have argued. No matter how nervous he was, he wanted this. He wanted it more than he'd ever wanted anything… he wanted Jack more than he'd ever wanted anyone. He wanted to feel alive. He wanted to feel as if somebody actually wanted him as much as the man standing there leering seemed to really want him. It felt so good to be wanted.

He undressed as quickly as he could… only once he had stripped down to nothing did he realize the other man was still standing there, watching him. Fully clothed.

Leaving him impossibly exposed.

Vulnerable.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to ignore the pterodactyls in his stomach.

Jack smirked as if he'd been wondering how long it would take his lover to figure out that he wasn't getting undressed just yet.

Then he held out his hand and pulled the young Welshman man towards his bed without a word. He pulled him down on top of him and feathered soft affectionate kisses over his bruised lips… his forehead… his cheeks… his neck. It was like being with a different man… a soft, gentle man. A patient man. A man who held him protectively in his arms until his nervousness subsided. Until he closed his eyes and melted into his kisses… into him.

Jack rolled them over so he was on top… and then he slid off him. He looked at him for a long moment. He smiled. He had no idea why being with Ianto made him feel the way it did… but it was probably best if he didn't think about it.

He knew he was just biding his time… _but what a pleasant distraction… _his smile deepened. "Remember the trunk?" he asked in a deceptively light tone.

Ianto's nervousness returned with a rush of warmth to his cheeks. The last time they'd been in Jack's room, the Captain had demonstrated a few of the items he kept in the trunk at the end of his bed. They were the sorts of things the younger man had never played with before. After all, he'd only ever been with women… although he supposed he could have used some of those things on a woman, it had just never occurred to him to think about anything like that before.

Not that he was uptight or anything. He'd enjoyed himself when Jack used some of those things on him. He'd enjoyed himself quite a lot, in fact (more so than he might have cared to admit... not that he was uptight. He was just… inexperienced. It made him nervous.)

It wasn't helping the way Jack was looking at him now, like the cat that ate the canary… or who was about to at any rate.

He swallowed and nodded indicate that yes, he certainly remembered Jack's trunk.

"I want you to pick out three things. Any three things you want," the Captain's smile deepened further. "And I'll use them on you."

Ianto felt more heat rising in his cheeks. It hadn't been a request or even a suggestion.

He got to his feet and made his way to the end of the bed; it was a painfully short distance.

He opened the trunk; he was shaking. It was silly… he wanted to be here. If he didn't, all he had to do was get dressed and leave. If there was nothing else in the world he was sure of, Ianto was certain that Jack wouldn't ever force himself on anybody. _Hell, he wouldn't even let me force myself on him when he thought I was drunk… _

"Need more light?" Jack inquired. His tone was playful.

"No. Thanks. I'm fine."

The older man chuckled softly; it wasn't unkind. It was never unkind.

The array of toys tossed haphazardly in the trunk was incredible… frightening. Vibrators, plugs, rings, clamps… things the younger man couldn't begin guess at the purpose of… a few things he was sure he didn't want to know what they were for… he swallowed. "Three?" he asked. His voice nearly squeaked.

"Three," the answer was firm.

Ianto swallowed again. He took a breath. He could do this.

He wanted Jack.

He wanted everything Jack had to offer and he was willing to give him whatever he wanted in return… besides, Jack was making this his choice. Whatever he wanted him to use on him.

His first choice was a blindfold because even though he hated to admit to it, he loved not being able to see what the other person was doing to him. He loved the mystery… the uncertainty. He loved giving up that bit of control.

He saw Jack smile as he set it down on the bed where the other man could see. Apparently Jack liked taking the control that he was willing to give up. Not that that was much of a surprise.

His second choice was a set of four point restraints; that was more for Jack than him. He knew Jack had a thing for bondage. But it was hardly as if Ianto was opposed to the idea, it was the one thing he'd experimented with before Jack came into his life. He just wished he could get him to switch places once in a while… he liked being tied up, but he liked doing the tying up, too. However the one thing he could _**not**_ imagine Jack ever doing was consenting to being tied up. He was clearly the aggressor, the alpha male… but he was good at it. Ianto smiled.

Jack leant over and picked up the restraints. They were made of soft leather with firm brass buckles. "Nice choice."

"They came from your trunk."

He just chuckled, "There's other restraints in there, you know."

"I tired handcuffs once," he blushed as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

"Hmmmm, yet another thing I didn't know about you, Jones, Ianto Jones," Jack's leer made him nervous all over again.

He cleared his throat. "I didn't like them," he clarified in a flat tone.

"I'll have to remember that," he said. "For when you misbehave."

Ianto felt a rush of fresh warmth overtake his cheeks.

"One more item," Jack reminded him.

He looked into the depths of the trunk. Most of it scared him… or at least it scared him that he might honestly like to try it, just to see what it was like. _Not _that he was uptight. Uptight and inexperienced were two entirely different things.

"I… I honestly don't know what else to chose, Jack," he finally admitted in a sheepish tone. "Couldn't you just pick what you want to use…?" he silently begged the other to choose something for him. He didn't want to admit…

Jack shook his head. "No. And I'll wait all night if I have to," he reached out and brushed his fingers lightly against the younger man. His touch made him shiver.

Ianto closed his eyes and reached in. He knew exactly what he was reaching for… his hand grasped it. He swallowed hard as he brought out the vibrator. It was soft and made of latex, except for the base and it was shaped and sized more or less anatomically correctly. When turned on, it buzzed and wiggled, and he never _ever _would have admitted to anyone, even the only person to have ever used anything like that on him…_ in_ him… just how much he'd enjoyed it. It wasn't that he was ashamed of his sexuality it just that… he didn't know what it was, he just prayed that Jack didn't make too many comments about his silent confession. He knew he couldn't bear it if he did…

He heard the bed creak… gentle hands touched his skin. Strong arms drew him back, wrapped themselves around him. Held him. Not a single snarky comment came his way.

Instead soft lips kissed his shoulders. His neck. These were the same lips that had savaged him just ten or fifteen minutes ago, but they were delivering up the softest kisses anyone had ever given him…

Ianto kept his eyes shut tight.

He felt the other man's warmth withdrawing again… he felt the blindfold slip into place… then a leather wraped its way around one wrist… then the other… one ankle… then the other…

Jack kissed him as he worked. His lips… his neck… his chest… his stomach…

Ianto couldn't help the soft moan that escaped his lips when he moved further south…took him in. It only last a moment… it left him wanting so much more... left them _both _wanting so much more.

Jack eased him towards the bed, positioning him carefully with a couple of pillows under his backside, another under his head. "Comfy?" he asked as he secured the young man's wrists in place.

"A little chilly, actually…" he managed to admit.

The other man's smile was audible. "Don't worry. I'll keep you warm."


	64. Love's Labours

**A/N:**

Ok, so here I go again out of order… this takes place after **To the Last Man. **I've had this one tucked up in the back of my head for a while and today seemed to be the day to write it… consider it the product of a blah rainy Tuesday morning.

**Chapter Sixty Four:**

**Love's Labours…**

**  
**Ianto saw Tosh out and wandered back down the steps, through the cog door, and into the Hub. Owen had dodged out an hour ago, Gwen practically on his heels. Something about the wedding… cake tasting with her Mam or some such. Lately it had been wedding this and wedding that even though just a few short weeks ago she would have taken the head off anybody who dared mentioned the word 'wedding' to her. It was like all of the sudden she couldn't wait to get it over with.

Myfanwy glided by overhead but other than her, the Hub seemed still. Quiet. That meant Jack was probably in his office. He debated about going in to say goodnight or just slinking off himself without a word. He didn't really have anything_ to_ say tonight.

To them, Tommy was a hero. He had sacrificed himself to close off the Rift. But in his own time, he was going to be shot for cowardice and there was nothing they could do about it. They _had_ to send him back. _Send him to his death..._ but wasn't that what Jack did with the rest of them, every time he sent them into the field? Wasn't that what any good commanding officer was supposed to do? And if so, why did it seem so unfair on all of them, Jack included? Ianto knew it took a toll on their Captain, especially in the light of fairly recent revelations about Jack's immortality.

The pterodactyl took another turn around the Hub before settling into her alcove.

_No wonder he is the way he is,_ the young Welshman mused, his mind still on his former lover. Since he'd been back, they'd had a few dates. A few late nights drinking wine, listening to Glen Miller. Talking. _Just_ talking. A few kisses. Nothing else.

Mostly they talked about little things, unimportant things... it didn't matter, he'd always loved listening to Jack talk. But since he'd been back it felt… different. Ianto wasn't sure what it meant, if it meant anything at all. He tried to tell himself it didn't. Jack was still Jack, he would shag anything that moved… which was why the fact that he hadn't made a move to shag the Welshman made him wonder if they were really going to be just friends from now on. Not that that was such a bad proposition. They could still flirt, tease each other… but… it hurt. Just a little. Just a little more than Ianto cared to admit.

He found suddenly that his feet had carried him up to Jack's office, entirely of their own volition. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised. Like it or not, he craved the other man's company.

"By this time tomorrow, he'll be back in 1918," the Captain said, almost absently. He was shuffling through some paperwork on his desk. He didn't look up.

"His own time," agreed Ianto, sliding his hands into his pockets. He hesitated at the threshold.

He was still in love the man sitting there behind that desk, not even looking at him. He didn't want to be. He'd fought against the feeling from the very first moment he came back to them because he knew he would only end up hurt again. Jack wouldn't do it on purpose. He hadn't done it on purpose the last time, it was just that he was who he was.

_What_ he was.

He understood now why he'd never been more than a part time shag. He didn't take it personally. How could somebody who would live forever ever really love anybody?

Not that he didn't care, Ianto knew he did, he saw it in the Captain's blue eyes all the time. He cared for all of them. _Loved_ all of them. But there was a difference between loving the people who cared about you, looked up to you, and being in love with somebody, even somebody who loved him more than just about anything.

Ianto reckoned that after a few hundred years Jack must have learnt to distance himself from people, just to avoid getting hurt when they died, because everybody always died. In a few more centuries, he probably wouldn't care at all. The mask of callousness he sometimes wore wouldn't be a mask, it would be the real him… and that hurt too, although Ianto didn't know why. He would be long dead by then.

Hell, he could be dead tomorrow for all anybody knew. Any of them could. Well…almost any of them. Jack would carry on, he had no choice in the matter.

"Would you go back to your own time? If you could?" he asked quietly, not sure he really wanted to hear the answer.

"Why?" Would you miss me?" the Captain quipped back; he still didn't look at him.

"Yup."

The admission startled Jack, but he very carefully didn't let it show. Despite the fact that things had gone back to what seemed to pass for normal between him and his team, he was aware of how much he'd hurt them when he left. He was aware that they didn't really need him any more. Maybe they never had.

Slowly, Ianto closed the distance between them.

"I left home a long time ago," he reminded the younger man. "I never knew where I really belonged. Maybe that doesn't matter any more," he shrugged. Maybe none of it mattered.

"I erm… don't you ever get lonely?" he asked, taking seat on the edge of the desk.

Jack folded his hands over top of the neat stack he'd just made of the paperwork and turned to face his former lover for the first time since he'd come into his office. "Going home wouldn't fix that," he told him honestly. "Being here, I've seen things I've never dreamt I'd see, loved people I… I never would have known if I'd just stayed where I was." The younger man missed the uncertainty in his tone, his expression.

Since his return just barely a month ago, Ianto had allowed himself to be taken on a few dates. They'd spent a few late nights talking, drinking wine. Listening to music. But what did that prove? That Ianto had a generous nature? Jack already knew that. He'd exploited it more than once in the past. But now Ianto knew—now that they _all_ knew—what he was. That he couldn't die. That he would live forever, never have a normal life. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair! He'd never asked for immortality.

Only if he hadn't met Rose, the Doctor, if he didn't live forever… _I never have known you, Jones, Ianto Jones,_ a slight smile flickered across his face. "I wouldn't change that for the world," he said in a tone he hoped the other would believe.

Ianto swallowed hard. Had Jack just said that he…?

_I've seen things I've never dreamt I'd see, loved people I… I never would have known if I'd just stayed where I was. I wouldn't change that for the world._

Did he really mean...? Could he…?

He leant in before he lost his nerve, finding Jack's lips with his mouth, smothering him with a kiss that he hoped would say all the things he was afraid to give voice to.

_I love you. I need you. I want you._

He closed his eyes and held him tightly, deepening the kiss; Jack cupped his face, drawing him in closer still. It was like that first kiss… a hundred kisses afterwards… it made him feel warm. Alive. It gave him…hope… _ I love you so much Jack..._

Many long moments later… an eternity… the blinking of an eye… he straightened, drawing breath, gazing down at the man he'd just kissed, the man he…

_I've seen things I've never dreamt I'd see, loved people I… I never would have known if I'd just stayed where I was. I wouldn't change that for the world._

Ianto searched his blue eyes looking for some clue, confirmation, any hint at all that he really might mean… _ if you love me just tell me… just say the words…_ because he needed to hear it. He needed to know loudly and clearly if that was what Jack was really saying. Because if it was…_please, _ he begged silently.

But then Jack was on his feet, kissing him again, harder. Shaking. His fingers trembled when he reached for the younger man's tie, not sure he would let him… Ianto allowed him to loosen it, slide it from around his neck. He felt the Welshman's fingers undoing the buttons of his shirt. They had each other out of their shirts just a moment later.

Jack's job had been harder, Ianto's jacket, waistcoat and shirt lay around him on the desk, but the reward was greater because the younger man didn't wear an undershirt. He did. He still had it on.

The Captain smirked, mostly out of nervousness – he had expected Ianto to stop him long before he got him even half undressed.

"You look good," he told him in an earnest tone, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Being in the field had defined Ianto's muscles some, not that he'd exactly been a slouch before, but he looked better than Jack remembered. Being in the field had also put some scars on the younger man's body… he swallowed back the guilt he felt about that, trying not to stop smiling. Ianto wouldn't be in the field if he'd stuck around.

"I'm afraid I still don't get much sun," said the Welshman, pulling him out of his thoughts. Jack missed his anxious sounding laugh, didn't see the moisture on his palms. If he had, he might have stopped.

But as it was, Jack favoured him with another mischievous smirk, the kind that used to have a very positive effect on the young man. "We should work on that some time," he said, kissing him some more… his mouth… his neck…

Ianto dropped his head back as a soft moan escaping his lips. It had been _so _long since he'd let him kiss him like this…it felt so good… he ran his fingers through Jack's hair as the spicy scent Jack emmitted naturally grew stronger. "Really… not… fair…" he protested in a heated whisper, in between kisses, as he worked to get the other man's t shirt off.

"When do I play fair?" he quipped back; the younger man laughed. Jack stepped back and pulled off his shirt. "Better?"

"Much," the other smiled appreciatively at the view. He smiled even more when the Captain stepped back in. But this time his kiss was… soft. Sensual. Ianto wrapped his arms around the his neck in a warm embrace, returning it his kiss. Relishing it. Nothing had felt so good in so long… _not since the last time we were like this… _no one made him feel the way Jack did.

"If you want me to stop, you'd better say so," he cautioned in between kisses.

"I don't want you to stop." _I don't ever want you to stop. Even if all I ever am is a part time shag…_ he didn't care. He would make allowances. He would take what the immortal was able to give him and enjoy every second of it because love didn't have to be returned for it to be real. Just as long as Jack gave him something, some fraction of his time… he would take it.

He didn't understand the look that crossed the older man's face, he couldn't see the delight in his eyes for what it really was, but a few seconds later Jack was leading him down the ladder to his bedroom, laying him on his bed. Climbing on top of him. Asking him if he was up for anything in particular. Kissing him over and over, making it difficult for him to think. All he could do was shake his head. Anything… he would take anything as long as it meant Jack kept kissing him like that, kept touching him...

Jack smiled a deeply satisfied smile. "Well then, Mr Jones," he said in a low throaty growl, "I hope you didn't have any plans for tonight."

"Nothing I can't cancel," came the heated response.

"You sure?" he teased. "I wouldn't want to keep you from anything important…"

Ianto used both hands to pull him forward so he could kiss him again.

"Hmmmm…. I think I like it when you're like this. Maybe I should roll over and let you get on top…"

"We might get further," he grinned right back, reaching for Jack's zipper…

Three hours later they collapsed, exhausted, onto the small bed, dripping wet from the shower they both had desperately needed. In the end, they had taken turns leading… following… top… bottom…Jack had had a year to make up for—and he had. He had reacquainted himself with every inch of the other man's body… discovered every new scar…

"You really need to invest in some towels," Ianto chided him gently, even as he was pulling the blankets up over top of them against the Hub's perpetual chill. Jack owned towels, but apparently they were all dirty at the moment as he hadn't bothered with laundry in a while. It was entirely typical.

The older man chuckled, wrapping his arms tightly around his lover. _Lover._ The word made him smile. "It's late," he said, in a carefully neutral tone. "Why don't you stay over?"

Ianto blinked. Jack had never, ever, invited him to stay the night before, not explicitly anyway. He'd offered to let him get a few hours' rest of course , especially after a late night, and that time after last Christmas he had hinted that it might be all right if he stayed all night, but… "And wear what in to work tomorrow?" he asked quickly, covering up his surprise with sarcasm. "I can't very well show up in the same clothes two days in a row, you know."

"Why not? All things considered, it was a pretty slow day."

He gave over a dark look; it would have wilted a lesser man. "I should think it would look a little _obvious_, Jack," his tone was scathing. "I don't need to endure Owen's snide little remarks all bloody day long."

"We could offer to let him join in next time…"

"If it's all the same to you, if you feel like bedding Harper, you can do it without me," he rolled over, preparing to make his escape.

Jack pulled him back. "You could borrow one of my shirts," he suggested with a smirk. "It might even look good on you."

Ianto let out an exasperated sigh. "I would swim in one of your shirts, thank you. Besides, that would look even_ more_ obvious than if showed up wearing the same suit two days in a row. At least _that _we could blame on a late night Weevil hunt."

Jack laughed, mostly to cover up his own disappointment because clearly he wasn't going to win, Ianto wasn't going to stay over. But at least he was here now. He was here now and it felt good.

The younger man turned then, to face him fully, trying to figure out what he was really asking, what he was thinking, if he was just being… well… himself, because he had a knack for being infuriating just for the sake of it. But Jack's face gave no clues at all as to what might be going on behind those blue eyes of his. Or if it did, Ianto was too afraid of misreading what he saw to interpret it. He was too afraid of seeing what he wanted to see, making a mistake, because he was sure he would never be more than a part time shag. He could live with that. He had to live with it if he wanted to be anything at all to Jack Harkness.

He leant in and pressed a soft kiss to the other man's lips. "I wouldn't mind getting a few hours' sleep here. If… if you really don't mind…?" he asked hesitantly.

"What time should I set the alarm for?" the Captain asked quickly, reaching for his wrist strap before the other could change his mind.

"That thing is an alarm clock, too?" his tone was incredulous.

Jack shrugged. "It would be sort of silly for a time-vortex manipulator not to be able to tell time and sound the alarm at a pre-set moment in history, now wouldn't it?"

He rolled his eyes. "Six thirty. That should give me enough time to get home, change clothes and get back in, in time to have the coffee started before the others arrive."

"Just like always?"

"Yes Jack, just like always. Nothing we ever do after hours will affect our relationship, I promise," he assured him, having no idea that the promise hurt the older man more than he was willing to admit, even to himself.

_But maybe it's for the best,_ Jack told himself. Some lines were better off not being crossed, even with the best of intentions. Being alone was just the price of immortality, he supposed.

It took very little time for them to arrange themselves into a comfortable position with Ianto snugged in tight against the Captain's chest, his arms wrapped securely around him. It took even less time for the younger man to drift off into contented sleep.

Jack closed his eyes and for just a few moments, he felt… normal. Happy. He listened to the young Welshman breathing in the dark for a long while, revelling in the warmth of his body, in the way it made him feel. _Comfortable_. Ianto had always made him feel so comfortable.

He had gotten so very little rest since he'd been back from that year that never was. He could hardly close his eyes without seeing… he shuddered, his eyes snapping open again. He still saw it though, even with his eyes wide open. The Master. A year of torture… torment… 'new and exciting ways to die', the renegade Time Lord had taunted him. He called it their big adventure together. New and exciting ways to live… he brought Ianto out. Battered. Bloody. Broken. He gave him a choice… but it wasn't really a choice, there was only one thing he could do… Jack realized then that it wasn't just about physical torture or even seeing how much his body could endure before his mind started to break. The Master wanted kill his soul, his heart.

He succeeded.

Jack ran his fingers over his lover's hands in the dark, the same fingers that he had used to break the Welshman's neck… _But that didn't happen, not for him,_ he reminded himself himself. Ianto was here. He was safe. _This_ was real. He suppressed a sob.

"I love you," he said softly, his voice little more than a hushed whisper. "I know you wouldn't believe me if I told you that when you were awake, but I wanted to say it anyway, before it's too late again," he brushed a kiss against the younger man's skin. Someday Ianto would die for real and all he would have left would be the memories of moments like this…

In his sleep, the Welshman mumbled something incomprehensible. Jack laid his head against the pillow next to him and closed his eyes. He didn't sleep, but when the alarm went off a few hours later, he felt more rested than he had in long, long time.


	65. Therapy

**A/N:**

**Timeline:** This one takes place shortly after the last chapter (within a week or so)

**Genre:** Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Smut (which isn't technically a category, but I figured I should put in the warning. It isn't specifically graphic, but… well… it is Jack and Ianto.)

**Rated:** Most definitely "M"

* * *

**Chapter Sixty Five:  
Therapy**

* * *

"Do you trust me?" Ianto whispered the words that Jack had once whispered to him. He remembered that night with sudden, burning clarity.

They'd been involved sexually for about a month. A wonderful, amazing month during which Ianto had come alive again… being with Jack made him feel warm. Wanted. It was so good to feel wanted.

Then one night Jack asked if he trusted him. His tone had been laced with mischief – his eyes practically glistened with it. It was enough to make the younger man extremely nervous. It was against all better judgment that he told Jack the truth. _Yes. I trust you._

Jack's smile told him that that was the answer he'd hoped for… he led Ianto down the ladder to his quarters where he had a number of things laying out on his bed. The first one he picked up was the blindfold… after it was snuggly in place, he told the younger man to take off his clothes. He kissed him gently, all over.

_Are you sure you trust me?_

_Yes. _

_Say it._

_I trust you, Jack. I trust you completely. _

_Open your mouth._

It was with immense relief that he discovered nothing more nefarious than a strawberry being put into his mouth.

But he trusted Jack. Now he wanted to know if the older man trusted him, because even though this particular turning of the tables was Jack's idea, he was looking incredibly uncertain.

"Do you trust me, Jack?" the Welshman repeated the question.

"Yes," his voice trembled. They were sitting on his bed with lights were dimmed. He had his shirt off, his undershirt… his boots and socks… all that was left were his pants. Even so, he felt completely naked because Ianto was still fully dressed. Usually that wouldn't matter, being naked didn't bother him; but he felt completely exposed. Vulnerable.

He closed his eyes. There were too many memories of the Master were bubbling to the surface of his thoughts… the last year…the year that never was. Everything he'd lived through… died through. He'd been kept on his feet the whole time, his arms stretched wide, chained up in the bowels of the Valiant, not allowed a moment's rest. A moment's comfort.

Sometimes the Master would visit him daily. Sometimes to talk to him, to taunt him… sometimes to try some new idea out, some new torture, some new torment. Some new experiment. Jack shuddered involuntarily.

Sometimes the Master would leave for days… weeks… at a time, permitting him to quietly starve to death over and over in the dark. Alone. All alone. No voices, no contact… those were the worst days… The best deaths.

Standing alone in the dark, just before one darkness overtook another, he could close his eyes and remember with absolute clarity a young Welshman standing on the pier, holding out a cup of coffee… rolling around with him in a warehouse, laughing… sitting in a bookstore at Christmas… a thousand little comforts that the Master took from him the day he…

Ianto brushed the moisture from his cheeks.

"If you're not sure," he began in a soft tone, "if you don't want to do this… if you're not ready…"

He shook his head. "I have to do it. You're the only person I trust," the words came out in a whispered, tumbling rush. He hadn't meant to admit that. He was already helpless, he realized. "Please." He closed his eyes… how many times had he begged… _please…_

When the pain was too much… when he just wanted to die, to get it over with…when the Master brought Ianto to him… he shuddered. He shuddered harder when he felt the young Welshman's hand on his chest. He was all right. He was here. He was safe. _But I killed him… _

"Look at me," Ianto told him in a firmly. It caused the older man to look up immediately. "You're home now, you're safe," he seemed to understand what he was thinking. "I'm right here."

"Thank you," the words were a thin whisper. But then Ianto leant forward… he met the kiss half way. He yielded to it.

The younger man held the kiss a long, long moment, until he felt Jack stop shaking. He hadn't realized exactly how badly Harold Saxon, this 'Master', had damaged him until he'd playfully suggested that the older man tie him up the other day. The look that had crossed the Captain's face… the words that had followed… it was like once he started talking, telling him about it, he couldn't stop. Every horror filled moment, every single pain inflicted… Ianto wouldn't have silenced him even if he could have. No one should have to walk around with that much pain bottled up inside for so long… it was a wonder Jack hadn't snapped.

He brushed his lips against the older man's mouth again. "I…" _love you… _"I care about you, Jack," he told him. "I will always be here for you and I won't do anything to hurt you, I promise."

"I know. I… I used to like… I _do_ like being tied up," he said with an almost defiant look in his eye, and a nervous little laugh.

"You do?" he was caught off guard by the admission.

His tone made the other chuckle softly. "Yes."

"I honestly didn't know that. And I'm supposed to know everything." The words made Jack chuckle a little more, which had been the whole idea. Ianto smiled, too, as an idea started to form.

Gingerly, he took Jack's hand in his and snugged the cuff into place. Tight. But not too tight. He couldn't get out, but he shouldn't be uncomfortable, either. He repeated the procedure with the other cuff and then laid the Captain gently back on his bed, hooking the cuffs to little rings in the wall that Jack put there presumably for just that purpose. "Tell me something else I don't know," he said in a deliberately soft, inviting tone.

"Like what?" There was no nervousness in his tone, just a sort of earnest curiosity.

"Anything at all. Surprise me."

He raised his brows. "I'm not sure I can do that. After all, you do know everything."

"Apparently not," he leant in just a little closer, his hand resting on Jack's groin. It spasmed under his touch, causing them both to smile. Ianto took hold of the zipper. "What else do you like besides being tied up?" he prompted.

"I like being blindfolded… just not right now." His tone held a hint of nervousness… but Ianto was still smiling.

"That's all right." He unzipped Jack's pants and eased them down off his hips… slid them completely off. His boxers were still in place, however. He returned to the bed. "What else do you like?" he asked.

The older man licked his lips. "Anything?" he asked.

"Anything that I don't already know."

"Banana splits."

Ianto gave him a questioning look, but Jack nodded. He liked banana splits.

"Perhaps I'll remember that for another time," the younger man teased. He slid off the other's boxers and leant forward, giving Jack's chest a couple of gentle kisses. "What else do you like?" he asked in a soft whisper; Ianto caressed him gently, his hand wandering further down until the older man shuddered under his grasp.

"I…I like _that_," he stammered. "And I like the way you kiss me."

Ianto rewarded him with a long sensual kiss on the lips. "Anything else?" he asked when he finally pulled away.

"I… I like it when you kiss other parts of my body," he breathed. "I like it when you touch me."

The Welshman nodded. He rubbed one of Jack's nipples lightly between his thumb and forefinger, causing him to groan out his name.

He kissed him again, smoothing his mouth… he kissed… his neck… his chest… he took the other nipple into his mouth for a long moment while Jack squirmed helplessly. His scent grew stronger as he grew more excited until all the other could smell was heated spice. It was intoxicating.

He kissed his way down the Captain's body. "Tell me what else you like," he commanded softly, his mouth poised so that his breath caressed the other's skin.

Jack moaned in frustration, unable to focus, to think clearly.

Ianto waited patiently, not touching him, but not pulling away from him either.

"Your red suit," he finally said.

"I don't _own _a red suit," he said in an indignant tone.

"No… the one… the one you wear with the red shirt," he clarified quickly. "I like you in red, it looks good on you.

Ianto raised his brows. "I see. Well that's rather interesting," he mused softly, lowering his mouth just enough… under him, Jack bucked trying to get him to take more of him in. But instead of acquiescing, he pulled back, just enough so he could speak.

"Tell me what else you like."

"Your stopwatch," Jack breathed out quickly.

Ianto sat up. "I already knew that," his tone was cool… he watched Jack carefully.

He swallowed. "But I… I do like it," his tone was pleading, but not like before. He didn't sound frightened, he was just pleading his case.

Ianto smiled. "I know you like my stopwatch, Jack. I want you to tell me something I _don't _know."

He swallowed. "I like Cardiff," he admitted. "I like being here. This planet. This time. I meant what I said before, about being here…"

Before he could finish that statement – before Ianto spent too much time thinking about what he'd been trying to say that day, what he might be trying to say now, he dipped his head down between the other man's legs. He took all of him in at once.

Jack groaned. Bucked. He pulled at the restraints as his lover took him right up to the edge… but not over it.

"What else do you like?" he wanted to know.

He swallowed and took a couple of breaths to regain some vague measure control over himself, enough so he could think. Speak coherently. "Welsh vowels," he said with a smirk, attempting to get the upper hand – or at least level the playing field some.

Ianto chuckled, "Does that mean you'd rather I started reading to you?"

"Will I get into trouble if I say no?" he asked in an earnest tone; there was a flicker of genuine concern in his eyes, though.

The Welshman offered up a reassuring smile. He shifted and stroked Jack's hair, his cheek, his whole face. He was surprised by the way the older man leant into his touch, brushing his fingers with his lips when they got close to his mouth, kissing them… licking them…sucking... the suggestion was obvious, if he put something else in his mouth, he wouldn't be disappointed.

Ianto leant in and kissed his forehead; he never would have expected Jack be so submissive. It made him wonder what exactly had been done to him. _Unless he was always like this and I just missed it…_ it was hard to say and not the time to wonder about it.

"That depends," he answered the other man's question at length. "Which do you honestly prefer? Listening to me talk, or having me _not _talk?"

"Not talking," said Jack; the look in his eyes told the younger man that he really wasn't sure what kind of reaction the admission was going to garner.

Ianto just smiled. "You realize," he began, re-arranging himself again, "that that is the _only_ answer I would have believed right now," he feathered soft kisses across his midsection. "The only thing I'm asking from you is honesty, Jack." He took him into his mouth again, slowly, gently, prolonging every movement, every touch… he slid his hand under Jack's backside and ran his fingers slowly along the entrance there, teasing him. The sensation made Jack moan and thrust, trying to get him inside. He didn't oblige, even when the groans became desperate pleas.

"What else do you like?" he wanted to know.

"I… I don't know…" the older man breathed.

"Out of things already?" his mouth close enough to Jack's over heated skin that his lips brushed against him when he spoke.

"I… I can't think of anything else you don't know. I'm sorry…"

"Shhh," he crooned softly, caressing his lover's stomach with his hand. He followed his caress with a soft kiss. A tender nibble. "What about the things in your trunk?" he prompted in a gentle tone. "Do you like having them used on you?"

Jack's nod came quickly; he strained to see the other man's face, as if seeking approval. "Yes," he said when he saw his reassuring smile. "Yes, I like having them used on me," he agreed quickly, his momentary panic subsiding and he laid his head back on the pillow. This was a game. It was a good game – it was creative, more so than he'd expected out of the younger man. He closed his eyes a moment and felt himself relax.

He trusted Ianto implicitly, more than he'd ever trusted anyone except for maybe the Doctor. _And even if he had stuck around, it wasn't like I could ask him to help me with something like this…_

"So name them," the young Welshman's voice cut through his thoughts. It wasn't a request.

"_Everything?"_ he gulped, his mind suddenly racing. He wasn't even sure he could _remember_ everything in his trunk…

Ianto chuckled. It wasn't an unkind sound. "All right, how about just by category, then," his grin turned wicked. "But you have to go in alphabetical order."

"You are an evil, evil man, Ianto Jones."

He smirked, "Of course I am. I learnt from the very best, Jack."

He returned the other's smile with a smirk of his own. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

"Only if you mess up," he teased, brushing his lips against his skin again, "I'll make you start over again from the beginning. And I won't let you come until you make it to the very end without any mistakes."

"Oh boy. One question … if… if I may?" he asked, in a hesitant tone, breaking eye contact as he slid back into the role he'd been enjoying just a few moments ago.

The younger man nodded his permission; he seemed to slide back into his role easily too, and if Jack wasn't mistaken, he was enjoying himself, too. The Captain filed_ that_ happy little thought away for further consideration… in the mean time, "I just…" he cleared his throat with a bit of genuine nervousness. "Would latex gloves go under 'l' for latex or 'g' for gloves?" he asked.

Ianto laughed, he couldn't help it. "And now I understand why the archives were in the state they were in when I took over," he sighed. "G for gloves, Jack." He settled back in. "Now… would you care to begin?"

"Yes, Sir," he closed his eyes and started with the A's…

……………………………………………………..

Too exhausted to do anything but lay there and enjoy the sensation of being utterly exhausted, Jack laid his head deeply into his pillow. He heard Ianto moving around… rinsing things off… putting things away… he heard water running into the tub, a cold hard splashing sound, but he was too exhausted even to complain about being left tied up while Ianto cleaned himself up. He was sure he was tired enough to sleep nightmare free...

A sudden touch of another person's hands startled him. He tried to pull away, but he couldn't move his hands were still bound…with rising panic, he recoiled trying to get away, his eyes opened wide, but not quite able to focus on the face hovering over him in the dark…

"Shhh, Jack, it's just me," came a soothing voice. "You're safe." His tone was too firm to ignore. "You're home."

He gulped in a deep breath. Soft lips brushed against his forehead as soon as he stopped thrashing. Ianto. His Welshman. "I… I'm sorry…I…"

"It's all right," if the younger man was upset by his reaction, it didn't show. He ran his fingers along his cheek a moment, just smiling. In his eyes Jack saw… he closed his eyes. He wasn't ready to admit what he thought he saw hidden in the depths of those grey-blue eyes.

Ianto undid the restraints and helped him sit up. He eased himself behind the older man and with gentle hands rubbed some of the tension out of his shoulders.

"You are a man of many talents," he murmured as he relaxed into the other's touch. His tone garnered a soft laugh and another kiss, this time to his shoulder.

"Come on, I've run a bath for you," the Welshman said at length.

Jack gave him a startled look, but when Ianto led him into the next room, he found a tub full of hot frothy, foamy, water and candles twinkling in the darkness and a couple of mugs of…

"Hot chocolate," the younger man supplied. "With a shot of peppermint schnapps."

Jack looked at him, bewildered… Ianto had really done all that… after…? _After everything he's done already…? _"I must've dozed off. I didn't hear…" he hadn't heard a thing.

"You were snoring," the Welshman informed him with a grin.

"Sorry."

"No worries," he tugged Jack gently towards the tub and got him into it.

"Thank you," the heartfelt words slipped out before he realized he'd opened his mouth. The look on the younger man's face made him glad they had, however.

"You're welcome," he said simply taking a seat on the edge of the tub to be closer to him.

The Captain leant in; he met his kiss half way and returned it with such amazing ardour.

"How are you feeling?" Ianto asked. He took the cloth hanging on the side of the tub and rubbed some soap into it. With gentle, loving hands, he washed Jack's back while the older man took a sip of his hot chocolate.

"A shot of schnapps?" he asked.

He smiled. "Ok, a healthy shot."

Jack looked up at him. No one had ever taken care of him like this, he was sure of it. "I… I think I'm doing better," he said… then his grin turned mischievous. "But I think we may have to do this again sometime, just to be on the safe side." Despite his smile, he watched the younger man carefully.

Ianto laughed. "Fantastic. Now I can add 'therapist' to my resume," he said deadpan.

Jack's grin broadened, "Well if that's the case, Doc, I think I'm going to need lots and lots of therapy…" he set down his mug and pulled the younger man into the tub with him. "Starting right now," because suddenly he wasn't tired any more…


	66. The Morning After

**A/N: **As always, THANK YOU so much for the lovely reviews. Yes, I am taking nearly all of the requests I've gotten into consideration ;-) I just wanted to tack on a little bit more to that last chapter, so here's this chapter because every morning before has a subsequent morning after...

* * *

**Chapter Sixty-Six**

**The Morning After the Night Before**

* * *

Half asleep, Ianto rolled over. The other half of the small bed was empty. He smiled anyway. It wasn't unusual for him to doze off for an hour or so after a really good night of sex and wake to find Jack gone… his smile turned into irritation, however, when he noticed the time on the clock.

7:15. Jack had let him sleep the whole bloody night! Of course the 'whole bloody night' had really just been the last five hours, but still, how was he going to get home, shower, change and be back in by eight? Usually Jack set the alarm for six am… the sound of footfalls overhead alerted him to Jack's presence in his office. He was headed for the hatch in the floor.

A moment later the Captain was coming down the ladder.

"You let me sleep," he snapped.

"You looked tired," the older man shrugged, handing over a cup of dubious smelling coffee.

"And you made the coffee," Ianto snarled.

Jack just grinned and sat next to him on the bed. An almost awkward silence settled over them; he watched Ianto take an experimental sip of his offering. The Welshman grimaced. "I guess maybe next time I should leave the coffee to you," he offered up an apologetic smile.

"I don't have time for it anyway," the other seemed to be trying to keep further irritation from his voice. "I have to get home and change—"

"You can change here."

"Jack—"

"I went by your place and got you change of clothes."

"What?"

"I tried to wake you. You muttered something at me in Welsh. You looked kinda cute," he added with a smirk; Ianto didn't quite catch the anxious expression on his face.

He took a breath and let it out. Really it was considerate of Jack to let him sleep, even if he would have preferred not to have his flat invaded. _God, I hope he didn't touch my new laptop…_ He took another sip of so-called coffee. It was little wonder the people at the Starbucks near the Hub knew Jack by name. He couldn't make a decent cup of coffee to save his life. "I guess I was a pretty tired after last night," Ianto told him in what he hoped was a more moderate tone. "Thanks."

"Any time." He hesitated. He looked away. Then back at the man he was sitting next to, although he didn't quite meet his gaze. "Ianto—about last night…" he gave over a very uncertain look. "I—I just wanted to say thank you. For all of it. I'm not sure… I never thought…I mean… I… appreciate…" he fumbled. He wasn't sure Ianto would agree when he'd asked for his help, wasn't sure he'd be at all good at it. He was half counting on that to get him through it…but the truth was that Ianto was fantastic to have on Top. He'd been dominant, gentle, careful…

"You're welcome," the Welshman's tone was soft, difficult to interpret. He reached over and laid a hand on the older man's knee. "Can I ask you something, though?"

"Sure."

"Do you really like being tied up or was that just a part of the 'therapy.'"

Jack couldn't help but smile. "Everything you coerced out of me was the truth."

"_Coerced?"_ he sounded insulted.

Jack laughed. "Yes. And…any time you'd like to do it again…" he said hopefully.

The younger man sighed. "Right. I think I'd better take a shower before getting dressed. I don't suppose you thought to bring my toothbrush?"

"And your razor and even your hair brush," he told him.

"Jack I…" _I love you... _but he stopped short of saying the words because if he said it and Jack rejected it—which he would—it would hurt. Jack would never do monogamy. He would never even do committed polygamy. _I won't ever be his first choice. _But Jack trusted him and that meant more to him than any of the things he knew he would never get from anyway. _Better to just take it for what it is and enjoy it. _"I'll always be here for you."

"I know. Thank you."

He leant in, pressed his lips softly to Jack's. Then he got up and made his way towards the bathroom… he turned when he got to the door. "And I'd love to do that again, by the way."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He considered for a moment. "But I'll be the one to say when. No pestering at me."

Jack did his best to hide his smile. He had never quite looked so forward to being told when he was going to do something as he was looking forward to the next time his Welshman decided he wanted to be in charge…and as for the pestering, he was quite good at _not_ pestering and still getting what he wanted, he thought smugly. "Whatever you say," he assured the younger man.

Ianto rolled his eyes, well aware that he'd just opened up a Pandora's box… _then again, there are worse things in the world than what we did last night… _he found himself humming quietly to himself as he got in the shower—_after_ dumping Jack's coffee down the drain.

……………………………………………………………_..……………………………………….._

_**A/N:**_

_**The next chapter jumps ahead to just after Blood Moon… **_


	67. Fathes & Sons, pt 1

**A/N:**

**First:** this takes place after _Blood Moon_ and is a part of Ianto's vacation. Since I wasn't sure what exactly I wanted to do with him for that, I decided to go ahead and put this here.

**Secondly**, I _**totally**_ forgot a couple of conversations in _Out of the Rain_ and _Something Borrowed_ where Ianto mentioned his father when I wrote that bit a while back where Ianto mentions his step father.

Because of that, I did a swift back track to say that Ianto was young when his mother remarried and for all intents and purposes, his step father was his father… which isn't always so far from the truth of things in real life. I just wanted to own up to my blunder and say that yes, it was indeed a mistake, not a bit of "artistic license."

As a consequence of the error, a couple of reader comments (thanks guys!!!!) and some of my own personal experiences, this story was born…

* * *

**Chapter Sixty Seven: Fathers and Sons Pt. One:**

_If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology,  
the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons. _

James Baldwin

* * *

Discovering his father's whereabouts hadn't been difficult. After all, Ianto Jones had Torchwood's resources at his disposal. He supposed, rather guiltily, that it was a grossly inappropriate use of company time and equipment… _as if I never caught Owen photocopying something for personal use… or Jack… _Ianto preferred not to think about the things his partner photocopied when he got bored. One would think that a man from the fifty-first century would be a little less fascinated by something as banal as a Xerox machine.

Ianto took a deep breath and surveyed the house he was currently parked in front of. Jack could never have lived here. It was tiny. Worse than tiny, it was hardly kept up… the entire street had a sort of run down feel to it.

He didn't remember the little costal village, but he knew he'd been born here. Not in this house, but somewhere in town. They'd all been born here, all except for Dafydd. Mam had been pregnant with him when they left, went to Cardiff. Went to live with the man who, after a meagre ceremony with only a few relatives present, had become their step father.

Twice before Ianto had considered the pros and cons of finding his birth father, a man he remembered only a little better than he remembered the village he'd once called home. The first time had been when he was seventeen, wandering the streets of Cardiff in the rain trying to figure out what he'd done wrong… if he could ever go back home again.

All he had wanted was for his mother to tell him she would love him no matter who he fancied… he couldn't help it that he had a crush on a boy… it was just the way he was.

But he was pretty sure his father wouldn't be any more accepting than his mother had been. Why should he? They hadn't spoken once since Mam packed them up and moved them away... he didn't even know if his father had ever bothered to try and contact them or not. If he had, he didn't know about it, but that didn't mean he hadn't tried.

He had been four when they left, too young to remember the details of his parents' marriage. Nerys was five and claimed to remember it being horrible. Gavin, who was two years older than her, liked to pretend he didn't remember anything at all even though Ianto knew he did. Cade had been ten. He and Ianto weren't close enough for the younger man to ever ask him about their father, but he remembered that his oldest brother had always acted out and Nerys said it was because of their father, because of the way he'd been. Because of the way Mam up and moved them with no warning whatsoever.

The second time it crosses his mind to find his father was when he'd been planning his and Jack's wedding… he'd wondered what his father was doing with his life, if he'd remarried… if he had any regrets. If he wanted to know any of his children, now that they were grown. He'd wondered what it would be like to get to know his real father after having botched it up with his step father so badly.

Ner was the only person he talked to about it…. _Don't you__** dare**__, Ifan. Mam cried every night for weeks after she left him,_ Nerys had told him. She hardly ever called him Ifan.

Ianto didn't remember their mother crying, all he remembered was her packing them up… moving them to the city, to the house of another man.

His step father was the one who had taken Ianto the cinema when he was a boy. He was the one who taught him to ride a bike, how to bowl a strike nearly every time. He was also the one who could measure the inseam of a man's trousers by his stride across the shop threshold. Ianto knew he had loved him, loved them all, maybe even better than their real father had. He knew now that it took a pretty special kind of person to be a step father. Ianto appreciated that now more than he had as teenager, more now that he was a step father himself.

His step father hadn't always been understanding—not that Ianto felt he'd always been easy to understand.

_You can be whatever you want when you're out on your own, but under my roof you will not be… __**that**__._ He'd been red in the face and couldn't even bring himself to say the word. Lots of other angry words had followed…

Ianto ran out with little more than lint in his pockets… if it hadn't been for Wendy, he didn't honestly know what would have become of him. _Yes you do,_ he told himself. _You would have swallowed your pride and gone crawling back home looking like a drown rat for having wandered around in the rain all day. You would have sucked it up and still got punched in the nose by Cade and probably never would have gone to London… _

But because of Wendy, he didn't have to go home. She gave him a place to stay. She got him a job in the coffee shop where she worked. Then she was gone and he was on his own again and on his way to London… And his step father died before they got the chance to talk again, to reconcile…or at least for Ianto to forgive him.

He remembered picking up the phone and hearing his sister's voice for the first time in three months… _Tad's dead… he had a heart attack. You have to come home Ianto. Mam needs you. _

_She doesn't need me, she hates me. _

_She does not hate you! Now you listen to me and you listen good, Ifan Jones. You're going to swallow your God damned pride and get on a bus or so help me I will come up there and get you myself! Mam needs you and I will not let you be a total wanker just because of that thing from a few years ago._

So Ianto brought Lisa with him for the funeral because he didn't want to face his family alone. They got on a bus and they rode the two hours from London to Cardiff and he was sure he hadn't let go of her hand once. He'd been sad, hurt, scared…

And he realized suddenly he could finally think of Lisa without feeling guilty. Without hurting. He could remember the good times they'd shared and feel the warmth she had brought to his life. He still missed her. He would always miss her, but he could remember her without crying.

He was sure she would prefer it this way.

Ianto got out of his little red SUV and made his way to the front door trying to ignore the flock of pterodactyls in his gut.


	68. Fathers & Sons, pt 2

**A/N:**

As always HUGE thank you's!!! This one literally wrote itself this morning. I had originally had a slightly different storyline in mind, but the characters apparently had their own ideas of how things were going to go!

* * *

**Chapter Sixty Eight: Fathers and Sons Pt. Two**

_"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning  
but anyone can start today and make a new ending." _

Maria Robinson

* * *

Wiping moisture laden palms against his denim covered thighs, Ianto took a deep breath and let it out again. He wasn't used to being nervous, not like this. Sure, the night he'd found Jack in the park with that Weevil he'd been nervous as anything. He'd been tracking rift anomalies for two weeks looking for his chance, any opportunity to weasel his way into Torchwood's good graces. He had figured that his best bet was to get one of them alone, talk to them, make himself seem valuable. It hadn't taken him long to figure out, watching Torchwood Three from afar, which one that was going to have to be, because Torchwood Three wasn't anything like Torchwood One. Every decision rested with one man, Captain Jack Harkness, fearless leader.

He'd heard of Harkness…who hadn't? And Harkness had a habit of going out alone at night, but finally finding him there in that park, about to get killed…or so he'd thought at the time. Then trying to make small talk over an unconscious Weevil, trying to find anything he could use to get an interview… wondering what he was going to do if he actually succeeded…

He rubbed his thumb against the titanium band on his left-hand ring finger. _I will always love you. I will never forget you._ Jack's promise.

"Don't forget to empty the bins," he whispered aloud, just as the door in front of him opened up to reveal a dishevelled looking man in his early fifties. He was tall and thin with blue-grey eyes and even under the day-old scruff on his face and despite the fact that he had clearly not aged with grace, Ianto felt as if he was looking into a mirror. And he suddenly had no idea what he wanted to say; he wasn't sure it mattered, his throat had gone dry and his mouth refused to even open.

The man gave him an appraising, penetrating, look. His expression was impossible to read, but his eyes were hard and uninviting. Just the same, he held open the door. "Might 's'well come in."

"Th-thank you, Sir," Ianto managed to stammer, feeling ten years old again, getting called into the Headmaster's office for the first time.

He stepped into the tidy little lounge. It was neater that he had expected, given the general disrepair of the house's exterior or the state of the neighbourhood. The whole town, for that matter.

"I…I take it you know who I am?" he asked, his voice still shaky.

The man gave over a rude noise. "Tea?" he asked, instead of answering.

Not sure whether the offer was an indication he might be welcomed to stay for a bit or not, Ianto declined, politely. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, however, he regretted them. The other man's expression darkened a bit, but then he just shrugged and suggested that he sit, even as he resumed his own seat on an old faded arm chair that was tucked up into one corner, right between a pair of old book cases.

Ianto took the chair opposite him. "You have a nice home," he began awkwardly.

His father shrugged. "I get by. You?"

"Sir?"

"Do you get by?"

"I—I suppose so," he said, mostly because he didn't know what else to say.

"You'll be what—twenty five—?"

"Twenty six."

He nodded. "Married." It wasn't a question. Ianto could tell he'd seen the ring.

He nodded anyway, but decided against going into details.

"Long time?"

"Not even a year."

The smile that came over the older man's face surprised him. It wasn't exactly warm—there was a bitterness to his expression—but it wasn't unkind, either. "Still on the honeymoon, then."

"I suppose."

"Known each other long?"

"Two years and counting."

"That's good."

Silence.

Ianto cleared his throat. "What about you, are you…that is, did you ever remarry, Sir?"

"I've got enough to do to keep me occupied," the older man told him in a noncommittal sort of tone.

Ianto was just as glad he hadn't gone into any details. He wasn't sure he really wanted to know too much.

"And you can stop calling me Sir," the other added in a gruff tone.

"What erm—what should I call you?"

"Name's Siawn. I assume you knew that."

"Yes. I—I just—" he didn't know what to say.

"I also assume you're here because you want to know the kinds of things your mother wouldn't tell you."

"No S—I mean, Siawn."

He quirked an eyebrow. "So why are you here, Ifan?"

He swallowed uncomfortably. "Most people call me Ianto."

His father—Siawn—gave over another long, appraising look. "It suits you," he said at last. "So?" he prompted when the younger man didn't answer his previous question right away.

"Dafydd was in a car accident last month."

Siawn merely shrugged as if they were discussing a stranger. When he asked if Ianto's younger brother was all right, it seemed like a polite inquiry rather than the question of someone who cared.

"The doctors say he'll be fine. He doesn't remember most of the last year. Short term amnesia," he explained. "I suppose that got me to thinking about… family. Have…have any of…that is—"

Siawn cut him off. "Cade's been here. Couple years back. Dragged Gavin with him. They didn't stay long. That wife of his—Cade's—sends me cards now and then."

Ianto wasn't surprised. "Deidre's like that."

"Sweet girl. Keeps saying I should come out and meet my grandchildren."

"Have you?"

"Your mother would have cats and you know it."

Ianto couldn't help but chuckle. Still… "If you want to…"

He shrugged again. "I'd rather not be the cause of World War Three. I don't imagine Lelli…Alice…your mother's changed that much, even in twenty years."

He didn't know what to say to that.

"Go ahead and ask," Siawn said, then.

"I…it's really none of my business," Ianto told him. "Whatever happened between the two of you happened a long time ago—"

"The bottle happened."

"Sir—Siawn?"

"I drank too much back then—I've twelve stepped my way into sobriety," he added. "Been dry a little over ten years. I won't make excuses, though. I'm a mean drunk, I know that. But Hell, I was just a kid when Cade came along, what did I know 'bout…well, about any of it. We got married because we had to, not because we wanted to. I wasn't even as old as you are now. Neither was she." He shrugged again and dug out a pack of cigarettes. He offered one over taking one for himself.

"No, thank you," Ianto told him.

He nodded, drew out a cigarette and lit it. "Next thing I knew there was Gavin," he inhaled deeply and blew out a long stream of smoke, carefully off to the side rather than right in Ianto's face. "Then things almost settled down—you know, job, house all that—and along came your sister. Then before I could blink, there was you," he smiled an almost real seeming smile.

Ianto nodded; he thought about Deidre and Cade, how every time he turned around she was pregnant again. How every time she was pregnant Cade turned into an even bigger ass than usual.

"What about you, then?" Siawn asked.

"What about me what?"

"Planning on having children?"

"I…erm…that is…" he cleared his throat. "My partner already has a son, from…from his first marriage," he said slowly, waiting for a response. An explosion.

Siawn took another long drag off his cigarette. He gave another long appraising look. "I suppose that's difficult enough," he said at length.

"Which part?"

"Rising somebody else's kid."

"Jason's not half the problem," Ianto found himself admitting. "Jack's mother moved in with us to help out," he explained.

"The man's son and his mother," he shook his head and finished his cigarette, stamping it out in an ashtray on the bookshelf. "Now I think I remember why I stayed single."

Ianto chuckled softly, feeling the pterodactyls settle down in his gut at last. "Jack's mother is well meaning."

"What's that saying about the road to Hell?" Siawn inquired with a wry grin. Then, "What really brings you here?" he asked again, his tone serious.

Ianto took a breath of tobacco laden air and let it back out again. The honest answer was that he wasn't entirely certain of that himself. "I guess… I guess with everything that's happened this past year, with me… getting married… Dafydd's accident…everything else…" Daleks, everything else he couldn't tell Siawn about… "I regretted never knowing you. You're right about Mam never talking about you or—or what happened between the two of you."

"Well. Now you know."

"Would…would you like to—?"

But Siawn waved it off before Ianto could finish inviting him to come to Cardiff. "I'm happy with my life the way it is, Ianto. I'm not interested in…in much of anything beyond the village gate. Never have been."

Recognizing the dismissal for what it was, the younger man got to his feet. "I…I shouldn't take any more of your time," he forced a smile. "Thank you for seeing me."

Siawn rose as well. "If you come up again, make it a Friday."

His brows creased together. "A Friday?"

Siawn nodded. "St. Michael's does a fish and chip lunch you won't soon forget."

Ianto studied the man across from him a moment more. Was that just a hint of hopefulness he'd heard in his father's voice there, or was that just what he wanted to hear? It had certainly _sounded_ like an invitation… "I'll keep that in mind." He held out his hand.

Siawn accepted it.

* * *


	69. Fathers & Sons pt 3

**Chapter Sixty Nine:**

**Fathers and Sons Part Three  
**(final installment of this one)

* * *

"It is not flesh and blood, but heart which makes us fathers and sons."

_Friedrich von Schiller_

* * *

Three weeks passed before Ianto Jones-Harkness returned to the run down little coastal village where his father lived and worked. But it was a Friday. And he was still nervous.

He rapped lightly in the front door, half expecting…finally the door opened. Ianto could tell by his expression that the other hadn't expected to see him again. His father didn't say anything, however, he just opened the door, let Ianto in and offered a cup of tea. This time he accepted. It seemed to please the other man.

Siawn invited him into the kitchen to wait for the kettle. It was tidy, like the lounge. It was small…not well stocked, although Ianto reckoned his own kitchen hadn't looked much better when he was single. "Sorry I wasn't able to make it back sooner," he told the man who was puttering about at the stove. "I was on holiday."

"Have a nice one?" he asked.

"I suppose. It rained a bit when—" he hesitated. He doubted his father was the least bit interested in hearing about the rain that had kept he and Jack in their hotel room when his husband joined him in New York for a long weekend. After two weeks apart, neither had much minded the rain and Martha had been very understanding when she didn't get to see quite as much of them as she'd hoped. But Siawn was looking at him, clearly expecting some sort of wrap up to that sentence. "Jack met me in New York last weekend and we got rained in," he said simply.

Whatever he thought of it, Siawn kept it to himself. "Milk and honey—or sugar?"

"Just milk. Thank you," he said when the older man set the cup down at his elbow. He couldn't help but notice the way he turned the handle to seven o'clock.

The other nodded and got a small pitcher of milk from the refrigerator behind the table; Ianto got a quick peek at the nearly empty shelves. He knew from his research that his father worked on the dock, but that things slow in the village for a while. Years.

Siawn set the pitcher on the table and took a seat opposite him. "Apart from the rain, then, how was your trip?" he asked. His tone seemed a bit strained, like he didn't know what to say any more than Ianto did.

"It was what I needed. To get away, I mean. Chance to clear my head a bit," he shrugged. He doubted anyone would understand. He barely understood, he just knew he'd needed to get away for a while.

"Not on the 'honeymoon' any more?" his tone was speculative, but that was about it.

"Jack is the one happy, stable thing in my life," he said with conviction. It was ironic; if his father had ever met Jack he wouldn't believe for an instant that Jack was the only happy stable thing in his life, but that didn't make it any less true.

"You still smile when you say his name," Siawn observed. "That's always a good sign."

Ianto took a nervous sip of his tea. "It doesn't bother you, then?" he wondered. "Me and Jack, I mean…that is me having a husband rather than a wife."

Siawn set his mug down and regarded him a long thoughtful moment. It made Ianto regret asking the question. His father's expression was dark. Foreboding. But his tone remained neutral. "Your life, boy. What should anybody care if you're queer?"

"Bisexual," he didn't think before he corrected him. He stirred his tea a bit. "That is… I had a girlfriend… before I met Jack. She died. A few years ago."

"Sorry to hear that," was all Siawn said.

Ianto nodded.

"It was a serious thing, you and this girl?" the other asked after a few moments of awkward silence had passed between them.

"Yes. But it was a long time ago," he stopped stirring his tea and forced a smile.

"Everybody's got history, Ianto," Siawn surprised him by saying. "You, this Jack of yours…me, your Mam. Everybody comes from somewhere, did things before they met the people in their lives now. If those people really care about you, your past won't matter."

"Jack knows about Lisa," he told him, missing the point the other was really trying to make. "He…he helped me bury her."

His father didn't say anything, and he was afraid to ask what the other might be thinking. He didn't even know why he'd said that, other than it was the truth.

The day after it all happened, after he betrayed them, he came back to the Hub. He'd been surprised to wake up with a full set of memories… _but retconning me would have been the kinder thing…_ he doubted Jack had been in the mood to do the kinder thing. The easier thing.

The day he came back, he went to do what he knew needed to do. He went to clean up his mess… Jack was already there, already cleaning. Already taking care of the bodies and the blood… just Jack. And him. They worked in silence.

"He's seen me at my worst," Ianto finally answered the questioning look in the older man's eyes. His tea had gone cold. He'd never had this sort of conversation with his Mam… they'd grown so close the last few months, it was like it used to be… but he'd never been able to tell her that Jack helped him bury Lisa. "He's seen me at my worst," he repeated, "and he loves me anyway. I suppose I've seen him at his worst, too," he added.

"And you still love him?"

"With all my heart."

……………………………………………………

Driving back to Cardiff, he wasn't sure what exactly he felt about his father. They'd gone to lunch. He'd paid. He'd seen the older man's refrigerator, his larder. The meal had been every bit as excellent as Siawn had promised.

And Ianto realized he was right about something much more important, too. Everybody had a past. Siawn. Mam. Him. Jack… of course in his case it was a bit longer than in everybody else's… but as he drove down the coast, he knew what he wanted.

When Jack had come to see him in New York, he'd said he'd been in touch with the Doctor, made the arrangements, if Ianto wanted… he'd been too gobsmacked to give him an answer straight away. After all, what does one say when their husband asks if they'd like to have a child together, especially if one happens to be male oneself? Of course when your husband's best friend is a Time Lord…he'd said he needed some time to think about it. It wasn't the answer Jack had expected, but he couldn't just say yes or no on the spot like that.

Driving home from his father's house, though, Ianto finally knew what he wanted. He wanted to have a child with Jack, he wanted it more than anything else in the world.


	70. New Beginnings

**A/N:**

This is the first of the chapters to start building Jack and Alice Carter's relationship (yes, I perceive that there will be some confusion in the future since I happened to have named Ianto's mother Alice, way back when…)

**Post CoE** (**so SPOILER warnings apply**… although this is in line with my AU'verse, so if you've read "**Now Comes the Night**", that doesn't matter… if not, the quick version of events is that the people who died in RTD's universe didn't die in mine.)

And yes, I do have more planned for Ianto and his father…

* * *

**Chapter 70**

**New Beginnings **

* * *

Steven Carter flung the front door open before the man standing on the porch even had the chance to knock. He'd been waiting in the lounge, staring out the window waiting for him for the last forty five minutes, not that he was late, he was right on time. "Uncle Jack!" he wrapped his arms around his waist.

Jack pulled his grandson up into his arms and held on tight. He was always happy to see Steven—always hated leaving, never knowing when he'd be able to see him again, but the last three months had been especially painful. Everything he'd put his daughter through… everything Steven had been through. Then Alice's visit to the Hub thirteen days ago, the conversation they'd had, the things he had never known how to say to her coming out into the open whether he liked it or not… When she left him that day, she'd given him the tiniest glimmer of hope that things might be different, but it had taken her eight days to get around to calling him.

They hadn't talked long, but she told him that Steven was fine. All the kids were; there had been no lasting ill-effects from the events of the final day of the 'alien terror', as some of the news media was calling it. In the months since, however, the government's role in the events of that week had quickly eclipsed the incident itself. Alice hadn't asked her father how an American news agency got hold of those tapes…

She walked out from the kitchen and smiled at him; he smiled back. "You're looking good," she observed.

"You too," he set Steven down.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get your coat," Alice suggested to her son. "Your gloves too… and a hat!" she called as he scampered up the stairs to comply.

Jack chuckled despite the rush of nervousness that over took him. Having her send Steven out of the room made him afraid she going to rescind her offer, send him away, make some excuse… or was she just going to remind him that all she'd actually agreed to was one day, not regular visits?

"So what are the big plans for today?" Alice asked in a tone too neutral for him to read into.

"I thought we could go to the cinema, maybe get some lunch," he said with a shrug, his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat.

She motioned him to follow her into the kitchen. "Nothing too scary," she instructed over her shoulder, "and don't let him eat too many sweets. I know you," she added to the look creeping across his face. "Don't go spoiling him, Dad," she cautioned.

He hesitated. "Is… is that…" he was almost afraid to ask the question burning at the forefront of his mind. If she said 'no', this wasn't the start of anything, it would kill him… but if she said 'yes'… but if she was undecided and he pushed her too hard… "I was just wondering if… if you'd had a chance to think about what we talked about the other week?" he finally asked.

"Yes. Tea?"

"No. Thank you," he said. And he waited.

Alice poured some more hot water into her cup. She knew he was waiting for an answer—hoping for a particular answer. "I still don't know how to feel, Dad," she told him honestly. "But I know how much Steven loves you. How much you love him. Could you settle for just taking it one day at a time?"

"Absolutely."

She gave over a tight lipped smile. He hadn't fought her mother. He wouldn't fight her. Even if it killed him, he wouldn't fight. She wasn't sure she admired that quality in him… but maybe she respected it more than she had before.

"By the way," she stirred her tea. "I'm not sure if you'd realized, but he figured it out about you and Ianto."

Jack blinked. "What?" How? _When?_

She smiled. "Kids are smart, you know."

He smirked, he couldn't help it. "I seem to remember a little girl I used to know who understood the world better than maybe I wanted her to."

She own smile warmed. "It was your own fault, you know, always telling me to stay sharp, keep my eyes open, question everything."

She had a point… however, "How does he… is he ok with… me?" he wanted to know.

"All he knows about you is that you have a boyfriend, Dad, not that you'll bed anything with a pulse."

Jack grimaced.

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be. I deserved that."

"Anyway," she said in a forcibly lighter tone, "his friend Rhianna has two mums. He's fine with it, Dad," she assured him. "He's just a bit put out that you never mentioned it before. I tried to tell him that grown ups don't always talk about things like that with children, but you might get a few questions today."

"How much…?"

"What you tell him is up to you. But I think I'd prefer it if you didn't talk too much about… about your children," she was clearly still uncomfortable with the subject. "Just for now," she added.

"All right," he agreed, trying very hard not to read too much into that last statement. _Just for now._ Did that mean that maybe…

Steven came down stairs bundled up almost to his mother's satisfaction. She zipped his coat and told him that he actually had to put his mittens on, he couldn't just shove them in his pockets. Jack snickered, refraining from reminding her of how many times he'd had the same discussion with her… he wondered if that smile she cast suddenly in his direction meant that he didn't have to remind her.

"Now be good," she said to Steven. "I've already told your Uncle Jack not to let you have too much junk food or see any scary films, so don't you give him a hard time about it."

"Yes, Mum," he gave her an exasperated look.

"We'll be back in a few hours," Jack promised her.

"Just… be careful…please?"

"Always. I'll keep my mobile on."

She nodded and pressed a kiss to her son's forehead (much to the boy's chagrin.)

……………………………………………………………..

After some debate about what was and wasn't too scary, they finally settled on a film with an acceptable rating and content. Having an hour before the next showing, Jack suggested a little holiday shopping. He hated to spend his time with Steven shopping for gifts for other people, but he was woefully behind and if he could get one or two things while they were out…

"How come you never said you had a boyfriend?" Steven asked him as they walked from one shop to another in the little row of stores down the block from the movie theatre. "Is that why Mum gets so upset? 'Cause she doesn't act that way with Rhianna's mums."

Even with a warning from Alice to expect questions about his life, Jack didn't know what to say to that. "I don't think that's the reason," he settled on the truth after only a brief internal deliberation. "Have you asked your mom about how she feels?"

"She says she doesn't get upset, but I know she does."

He sighed. Right. Of course she said that and of course Steven knew she was lying. "Sometimes grown ups don't make much sense."

"She says that too." Steven looked up at him. "How come you never talk about your boyfriend? Dad always talks about his new girlfriend."

Jack forced himself not to clench up his jaw or entertain unsavoury thoughts about his former son in law… at least for the moment. "I guess I wasn't sure how you'd feel about him," he told the truth. "But," he drew Steven aside, out of the paths of the other people on the street and knelt down to his level. "You should probably know that Ianto isn't my boyfriend. He's my husband."

The boy frowned; Jack wondered if he'd crossed the line, if boyfriends were ok but husbands weren't…

"How come you didn't invite us to you wedding?" he wanted to know, seemingly genuinely upset.

"That's a tough one," he admitted. "I wasn't sure your mom would want to come."

"How come?"

"Because grown ups don't always make sense," he fell back on the only thing he had to say to explain it. "It doesn't mean she doesn't love me or I don't love her—or you. I just didn't think it was a good idea."

Much to Jack's relief, Steven let it go at that.

……………………………………………………………..

"Would you like to stay for tea?" Alice asked her father when he and Steven came in the door.

He gave her a scrutinizing look, but it didn't seem like a hollow offer. She wasn't just placating her son.

"Please Uncle Jack," Steven said, grabbing his hand.

He smiled. "I'd love to. Is there anything I can do to help in the kitchen?"

Alice shook her head quickly. "Thank you, no, I've seen the sorts of messes you make. Just get washed up."

"Yes Ma'am," he teased.

She almost frowned…but then laughed instead. She'd nearly forgotten what a character he could be—nearly forgotten how much she liked it when he made her laugh.

……………………………………………………………….

"Thank you for today, Alice," he told her as she walked him out to his car. "I… it meant a lot to me to spend time with him. With both of you."

"I'm glad you came." She hesitated. "I… I was wondering if… I know you have your own family… but Christmas is just around the corner… and… maybe… maybe we could see you again?" her tone was cautious, as if she honestly wasn't certain he would accept.

"I'd like that."


	71. Bridges

**A/N:**

Thank you for the reviews – I'm glad everyone has liked this so far. I'm just happy to be writing something that's at least mostly happy!

We're not quite up to a great big family Christmas yet… Alice is still taking baby-steps. But she's headed in the right direction.

* * *

**Chapter 71**

**Bridges**

* * *

"You look fine, Jack," Ianto said in a soft tone, slipping up behind his partner in the bathroom. Jack had been fussing in front of the mirror for half an hour.

He gave his Welshman a nervous look, wondering if it was silly for him to be feeling this way… wondering if this was how Ianto had felt when he'd insisted on meeting his sister for the first time.

The younger man laid his hands on his shoulders, smoothing his shirt, not that it needed it (he'd ironed it himself not an hour ago.) It was one of his dark blue shirts, the colour of which brought out is his eyes. The waistcoat Ianto had gotten him a few years ago was lying out on the bed.

Ianto was wearing the red shirt he knew his husband liked so much, "the" tie, the one Jack had given him the first Christmas after they'd started shagging… the tie that hadn't been the real gift at all. All he had to do was slid into his jacket and he'd be ready to go.

He might have opted for something less formal, but… well, it wasn't just that Jack liked the way he looked in a suit, it was that he was nervous himself about dinner with his partner's daughter, he just didn't want it to show. The best way to do that was to hide inside his work clothes.

Jack reached up and laid his hand over the younger man's; their fingers intertwined. "Thank you, by the way," he said in soft tone.

The Welshman smiled. "For what? Doing what any partner would?"

"Yes."

He wrapped his other arm Jack's waist and pulled him back against him, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck, inhaling deeply of the other's scent. _Fifty first century pheromones at their very best… _Ianto smiled. There were times when he still marvelled at his life… his luck. _I love you so much…_

Jack turned in his arms then and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I appreciate you more than I remember to tell you."

He chuckled. "You don't need to tell me, Cariad."

The invitation for Ianto accompany him to dinner had come as a complete surprise to both men. When Alice first asked her father if he would like to come back sometime soon, she hadn't included his partner. But when she called a few days later to confirm date and time, she'd very, very hesitantly asked if he'd like to bring the other man with him.

For his part, Jack had been as reluctant to accept the invitation as his daughter had been to issue it. He didn't want to do anything to damage the budding relationship with Alice, it was too important to him—but apparently it had been Steven's idea to include Ianto, and she hadn't been able to come up with an excuse to say 'no', at least not without looking as if she had a problem with same sex partnerships, something that had never been the case.

"_What do you want me to say, Alice?" he'd finally asked her, entirely sincerely, once she explained the trepidation he kept picking up on. She wasn't ready to play 'happy family', she just didn't see a way out of it without upsetting her son._

"_I don't honestly know, Dad," she told him the truth. "I'm not ready for the rest of it…your… my God, I've really got a grandmother?"_

_He chuckled, "You're a lot like her."_

But Alice wasn't ready to meet Ella. She wasn't ready to meet Jason and Seren. One day at a time was the best she could do, and she wasn't at all sure that inviting her father's partner for Christmas dinner was a good idea, even if dinner was actually a few days before Christmas, therefore not Christmas dinner at all.

That didn't stop her from putting on a dress and wearing the perfume her father had given her last Christmas—painfully expensive stuff from some upscale boutique in Cardiff. It was her favourite, but it was the sort of thing she never would have purchased for herself, she wasn't that indulgent. She hadn't even wanted to accept it from him, but at the time he'd said that the least she could do was to let him spoil his daughter once in a while. She'd had no idea he had other children, a real family all his own… her mind flittered back to the pictures on his desk. How could she tell him that she envied his other children their relationship with him?

She sighed. Maybe that was the real reason she'd gone out and bought a goose, knowing it was her father's favourite and made stuffing from scratch rather than some boxed mix. Maybe it was why she'd made up a little platter of pigs in a blanket, his other favourite. _Bloody good thing he's immortal,_ she thought as she fussed over the table a bit more. The way her father ate was enough to give any mortal man a heart attack.

The table was set perfectly, each piece of silver in place, linen napkins lain out, crackers by each setting. She couldn't remember the last time she'd made a big deal out of dinner, especially a dinner that wasn't supposed to be a big deal at all.

"Steven!" she called up the stair as she walked towards the kitchen to have a peek in at the goose. "Hurry up, they'll be here any minute!" she hated to admit it, but Steven was as nervous as she was. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had her father over twice in one month. "God, what were you thinking?" she asked her reflection in the dark glass of the oven door. "It's a little late to play at being happy family…"

The doorbell rang.

"I've got it!" Steven hollered.

"No, I'll get it," she intercepted him in the front hall. Even though she could see clearly the two men silhouetted in the bevelled glass, she reminded her son that there was no telling who was at the door and she didn't like him opening it up for strangers. He gave her a look but relented, falling into step behind her. It was fairly obvious that at least one of the two men was carrying wrapped presents… but a quick look at her son told Alice that the real treat was getting to see his 'Uncle' again. She only prayed that she wasn't making a huge mistake. She knew she was giving into guilt. Her father had every right to see his grandson and Steven had every right to see him. It wasn't as if her ex had much family to speak of; her mother hadn't had any, either.

And maybe that nervous flutter in her stomach as she opened the door meant that she was just as hopeful and excited as her son, even if she didn't want to admit it.

"I did say casual, you know," she said by way of hello, as they came in the door. She noted that her father didn't have to be asked to wipe his feet off on the mat this time.

To her comment, he just shrugged. "For him, this is casual," he leant in and kissed her cheek.

Alice gave the young Welshman the warmest smile she could muster; it wasn't very warm. He returned it anyway and wished her a happy Christmas as he handed over the bottle of wine he'd been carrying. "I wasn't sure what you liked," he said. "But Jack seemed to think this was a good choice." His tone betrayed a hint of scepticism.

"It's lovely, thank you," she told him without looking at the label. "Steven, why don't you take those from your Uncle Jack and set them down by the tree," she said of the packages her father was carrying. One of them was enormous.

Jack handed them over; Steven only took the neatly wrapped boxes after wrapping his arms around his neck for a quick hug.

Alice waited until her son had departed into the next room to ask him if he remembered what she kept saying about not spoiling him.

"It's not as extravagant as it looks," Ianto assured her in a smooth tone as he helped Jack off with his coat.

She was left with the impression that it was the younger man she had to thank for whatever restraint her father had shown in the matter of gifts. She gave over a tight lipped smile of gratitude for that, at least, and took their coats from him.

By then, Steven was waiting anxiously by the door into the lounge. Jack took Ianto's hand in his and brought him over to his grandson. "Steven… this is Ianto. My husband." He didn't have to look in his daughter's direction to know she wasn't comfortable with the situation.

Steven, however, seemed fine with it. "It's a pleasure to meet you," he held out his hand in a perfect imitation of adult etiquette.

The Welshman accepted his hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you as well," he told him with a warm smile.

"Dinner will be a few minutes," Alice told them. "Why don't you three go into the lounge and sit down while I check on a few things in the kitchen?"

"Can I give you a hand with anything?" Ianto offered.

"I… I've got it. Thanks."

"If you're Uncle Jack's husband does that make you my Uncle Ianto?" Steven inquired then—Alice grimaced.

"If you'd like me to be," the young man answered without seeming to miss a beat.

She retreated into the kitchen. Things were off to too smooth of a start…

She set down the bottle of wine and ran a glass of water for herself before going over to the stove. Nothing actually needed her attention. It was only a few moments later that she heard a quiet tap on the doorframe.

"Alice?" Ianto inquired softly.

"I…I've got everything, really," she said over her shoulder without really looking at him.

"It's a bit of a tradition in my family to grill the new in-laws in the kitchen," he told her with a smile. "I thought I should make myself available," he came into the kitchen, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

She gave him an askance look…then smiled. Despite his tone, she recognized that he'd only been a little bit serious when he'd said that. "Am I being that inhospitable?" she managed to keep her tone light.

"Just the opposite," he assured her. His tone was nothing but sincere, but she didn't miss the twinkle of mirth in his blue grey eyes. "Dinner smells lovely, by the way."

"Thank you," she turned back to the stove.

A loud 'bang' from the lounge, followed by a giggle that clearly wasn't supposed to have been heard, told them both that Steven and Jack had found the extra crackers. She just shook her head and gave the sauce a quick, unneeded stir. Then she turned back to the primly dressed Welshman who was standing there. Watching her. Ready to be 'grilled' if she wanted to—which she didn't. She didn't know what she wanted.

There was another bang and another set of hushed giggles from the next room.

Alice smiled. "However do you put up with him?" she couldn't help herself but ask.

"Lots of patience," he replied, deadpan. But again, his eyes told a different story. He was just as amused as she was by the fact that Jack, for all his years, was very much a child at heart… maybe more than amused, she realized, looking at him. She remembered the way he'd stood by her father that day… How much had they been through together, she wondered, and how relieved must he be that her father could still laugh, still enjoy life. Still love.

She turned back to the stove. "Would you mind getting the platter down from the top shelf of the cupboard over the sink?"

"You didn't really need to go through this much bother," he remarked as he laid it down on the counter next to her. From the looks of her kitchen, she'd prepared a proper Christmas dinner with all the trimmings and then some… including Christmas crackers…

"I don't have anybody else to cook for anyway," Alice found herself admitting, completely without meaning to. "I… I suppose he told you about Joe." It wasn't a question.

"Only that he left you."

She gave him a sharp look. "Then he was being kind…which isn't really in my father's nature."

"Perhaps he did say a bit more than that," he acquiesced.

"It doesn't matter," she lied.

"Here, let me," he said as she opened the oven door to get the roasting pan.

Alice stood back and allowed the younger man to pull it out of the oven, set it on top of the stove.

"I'm afraid this is the extent of my usefulness in the kitchen," he told her honestly, as moved aside to let her back in.

"Oh please don't tell me you let him do the cooking…"

He chuckled, "He is a bit frightening in the kitchen, isn't he?"

"Not that he'll ever admit it."

"Fancies him a proper cook," he agreed.

"You've had his galaxy famous chilli, I take it?"

Ianto groaned softly. "The only thing worse was when he was trying to convince my mam he really was an American by making 'real' American meatloaf."

Alice found herself grinning despite herself. "I can only imagine."

"Better off not to," he assured her. There was another loud bang from the next room. "I think I'd better get back to them if we want any left for ourselves."

She nodded… then, "Ianto…?"

He turned.

"Thank you. And… I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For trying so very hard not to like you. It's not you, Ianto."

"I know. I won't pretend to understand," he added quickly to the darkening of her expression. "I don't think anybody possibly could understand how you feel about him… me. But I know it's not personal."

Another loud bang cut off whatever follow-up comment she was going to make. "You'd better— "

"Yeah," he agreed. Leaving Jack alone in a room with a child and a box of Christmas crackers probably hadn't been a good idea, but the pained look on the older man's face when his daughter had all but bolted out of the room (whether she realized it or not) had hurt him, too. He hadn't known what he was setting himself up for by walking into the kitchen, but he hoped he'd helped.

…………………………………………………………

Jack laughed as Steven gripped the end of the last Christmas cracker; even so, he couldn't help the nervous tremor he felt when Ianto came back into the lounge. His expression was difficult to read, other than the fact that he was clearly bemused at the sight before him. He supposed that maybe he should be acting his age, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd spent Christmas with his grandson (he really didn't care if it wasn't really Christmas, it was close enough.)

With a loud pop, the last cracker burst open. "I think your Uncle Ianto needs a crown," Jack said to his grandson of the bright red paper crown the flittered out. "And red _is _his colour," he added with a smirk up in the younger man's direction.

He rolled his eyes, but accepted the paper crown with as much grace and dignity as he could muster. All things considered, it could be worse. It looked as if there had been at least a dozen crackers left in the box; he sincerely hoped that Alice hadn't intended them for anything else.

"Good Heavens," she stopped short at the room's threshold.

"Maybe we'd better clean up," Jack suggested in Steven's direction. They were surrounded by bits of paper and cardboard tubing.

"Yes, I rather think you had," for all her attempts to sound stern, Alice couldn't help but grin at the sight. "Ianto, perhaps _you _would open the wine…?" she continued trying to glower at her father.

"It would be my pleasure," he took the bottle and corkscrew from her.

……………………………………………………………..

"You really don't have to help with the clean up, Dad," she told him again. She knew how much he treasured his time with Steven.

"It's the least I can do after that meal you cooked," he told her sincerely. He only hoped… he tried so hard not to hope. But… "Maybe… you and I could have dinner sometime?" he asked anyway. "Maybe talk…just… just us…? After the New Year, when things have settled down again?" he didn't want her to think he was trying to rush her or pressure her into anything.

"I can't promise you'll like everything I have to say, Dad."

"I can accept that." _Just as long as_… he gave her a pleading look. The last few hours had been _so_ good. He'd tried so hard to do everything just right, to hang onto what she was giving him for just as long as he could.

"I won't take you and Steven away from each other," she promised softly—his look relief surprised her, even after she'd heard the tone in his voice. "It's not for you," she told him firmly, even though it wasn't entirely true. "I haven't seen Steven this happy since his father and I split up. It's all my fault…" she bit back her tears. It had been over a year, she should be over it by now. Joe certainly was. He and his new girlfriend were spending the holiday in Madeira, something she didn't dare tell her father.

"It wasn't your fault," he told her, laying a hand on her arm…wrapping his arms around her when she turned to him. "Alice… Sweetheart, what happened _wasn't _your fault," he repeated, holding her that much tighter.

"I married him, Dad. I stuck it out as long as I did."

He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. "That doesn't make it your fault."

She looked up at him, forced a smile; he cupped her face between his calloused hands and dried her tears with his thumbs.

"You never liked him, did you?" she said.

"I thought he was ok until he hurt you."

Alice stepped back without fully letting of him and looked at her father. Really, truly looked at him for the first time in a long time, trying desperately to see him as a man… just a man. Not the person who had hurt her mother, not the person who had walked out on her. Just another human being muddling through life the best he knew how. Only how did one look at someone like Jack Harkness and see anything less than extraordinary?

"What?" he asked after a moment.

"I'm trying to imagine you pregnant," she confided, because in just the moment that he'd asked, that was what she was trying to envision.

He flashed a wry grin, "I think I let Ianto keep a couple of pictures, if you really want to see what I looked like as a beached whale. But I should warn you, it wasn't a pretty sight."

Her grin was a mirror of his. "So how why did you keep telling me how beautiful I looked when I was pregnant with Steven?" she wanted to know. She'd been the size of a house.

Jack took her hands gently into his. "Because you were beautiful. You still are."

"I'm getting old."

He shook his head. "You will always, _always_ be my little girl."


	72. Past Mistakes

**Chapter 72**

**Past Mistakes**

………………………………………………………………

Alice looked across the table at the man sitting opposite her, considering his last statement carefully. _I will answer any questions you have for me, Sweetheart…_ it was a dangerous statement for him to have made. She was pretty sure he knew it, too. She sipped at her wine, wondering if another glass would bolster her courage. There were so many things she wanted to know about her father. So many things she was afraid to know.

Either in response to her expression or perhaps just because he was playing the gentleman tonight, he refilled her glass, thus ending her internal debate.

The restaurant wasn't the sort of place she would have chosen on her own—some posh French place that had just opened up a few months previous. It made her feel like she should be on a real date, not having dinner with her father, although she suspected that anyone who glanced their way assumed it was a date. A real date.

It reminded her of the one time in her life she'd been close to him, just for a little while.

She was going to University up in Manchester; it was her first semester. One day he turned up out of the blue, took her out to dinner, let her talk about her life. Boys. Her classes, her teachers. Everything. Nothing. It became a sort of a monthly ritual for a while. She never knew when he would show up, but it always seemed to be when she least expected it. When she most needed it.

It was fun for a while, but then her friends started asking uncomfortable questions about her 'mystery man'. There was no way she could tell them he was her father, he only looked about decade older than she did, and no one wanted to believe that he was just a friend, even if for the first time her life she felt as if he _was_ her friend. Believing he was her older (possibly married) lover, however, was more scandalous and therefore made for more entertaining gossip.

Eventually she asked him to stop coming around. In typical Jack Harkness style, he acquiesced even though in hindsight, she realized it had hurt him a great deal.

"Anything at all?" she asked, giving him the opportunity to declare certain subjects—any subjects he chose—off limits.

But he didn't. "Whatever you want to know."

Alice finished her wine. It hadn't bolstered her courage any, but the bottle was empty and she didn't think she'd be able to drive home if he got them another one. "Maybe we'd better take a walk," she suggested. Chances were that the things she wanted to ask weren't things he could answer in a crowded restaurant anyway.

Jack nodded, paid their bill, got their coats from the coat-check. He helped her on with hers before shrugging into the greatcoat.

The January night was cold, but not unbearable. They walked in what felt like companionable silence a while; eventually he steered them into the park where they could find a bench and sit down… being the middle of winter, very few people were out and about. The winter weather was also doing a nice job of keeping the Weevils underground, something for which Jack was particularly grateful that night.

"Warm enough?" he asked her, after they'd settled themselves. There was a coffee shop across the street, maybe he should…

"I'm fine," she said, but scooted in just a little closer to his warmth anyway… his scent. It had always been a source of comfort for her as a child… yet another unwanted memory poking its head up through her subconscious. It was easier not to like him. Easier to avoid him. Easier to not ask the question she wasn't entirely certain he would answer honestly.

"I want to know where you come from, Dad, how you got here. Why you came. Why you've stayed all this time."

Jack took a deep breath and let it out. She'd only asked four questions, but they weren't any of the ones he'd expected. He'd reckoned she wanted to know about her mother…him and her mother. Ianto, maybe. Jason. Seren. Laura. Their girls. He'd come up with answers to _those _questions, but he wasn't sure he knew how to answer what she had asked, because in only four questions she'd basically asked him to tell her his entire life story, and in his case that was quiet a lot. He said as much aloud.

"You're good at telling stories," she reminded him.

Jack smiled despite himself. He searched the night sky for a moment. "It's that direction," he told her. "A long, long way off. You can't even see the galaxy from Earth without a telescope. It's the fourth planet out from a sun a little brighter than Earth's. In couple of hundred years someone on this planet will discover it, but no one will actually be able get there for about a thousand years. They won't think much of it when they do, but in 5037, it'll be colonized. In 5069 my parents will move there… Mom was already pregnant with me. She was born not too far from here," he added. "Mars colony."

Alice had so smile at her father's idea of 'not too far'. Still, she tried to imagine what it must be like for his mother, her grandmother, to be living here, now. She tried to envision herself living three thousand years in the past; even the most sophisticated of civilizations would seem barbaric in comparison…

"What was it like?" she asked her father of his home world, wondering if it would be Blade Runner or the Jetsons.

The warmth of his smile surprised her. "It was beautiful," he said. "A vast ocean world with one continent. There was just the one settlement, on the Boeshane Peninsula and only a few thousand people lived there—mostly scientists, a few artists, farmers. People who wanted to get away from the over crowded core planets of the Empire."

"Why did your parents go?" she asked.

"Mom was doing a study of marine mammals on the planet. Some of them are three, maybe four times bigger than blue whales. Intelligent creatures. Not like humans, but… but intelligent, _amazing_ beings. At night we could hear them singing off the bay… like humpback whales, only… different," he shrugged, wishing he could explain it better than that.

"It sounds incredible."

"It was."

"What did your father do?" she asked. "Or…did you have a father?" or did he have two mothers… or three, or some other arrangement.

"Dad was a historian, so he could pretty much work from anywhere with a computer," he answered her.

"So you had a regular family, then."

"Alice, by my time, people have stopped being so hung up on labels. Gay, straight, bisexual… it just doesn't matter any more. People still have their preferences, but it's not the same. A family isn't about a mother and father and two point five kids, a white picket fence. A poodle. Never mind," he said to her questioning look. Some things were best left unsaid, especially when it as something that reminded him of John. "In my time, family is about having a place to come home at night, about stability. It's about partnership. Love. Loyalty. It doesn't matter if it's two women together or a man and a woman or two men and woman, or whatever. It's about being happy. Whole. Not about gender or skin colour or numbers."

She sat for a moment with the thought before asking about divorce.

He sighed; he knew why she wanted to know. "People are still people. They lie, they cheat, they steal. Hurt one another," he draped his arm around her shoulders. "Not every marriage works out the way we want it to, even in the fifty first century."

She nodded supposing it was too much to hope that in three thousand years no one would ever have to come home early from work to find her husband and her best friend in little more than their underclothes… the worst part was that it was such a sorry cliché. Surely people didn't do that in real life, it was just for bad novels and afternoon drama… but there they'd been. At least neither of them had insulted her intelligence by trying to say that they could 'explain', that it wasn't what it seemed.

What had been said wasn't any better, however…

"_If Joe had been the least bit __**happy**__ here, he never would come to me, Alice," had been Nan's defence. "I didn't seduce him, it just happened. We never meant to hurt you. I wanted him to tell you…but look, it's out in the open now, right? Let's just all be adults…"_

Seeming to understand what she was thinking about, her father drew her in closer. She let him. She sat for a moment, her eyes closed, her head resting against his shoulder, wondering what she'd done wrong with Joe. She wanted to believe it wasn't really her fault, but Nan's words continued to needle at her heart. _If he'd been happy…I didn't seduce him… we never meant to hurt you…let's be adults… _and maybe Nan was right, maybe she and Joe hadn't been happy, but she would have worked on it if she'd realized how bad it was. She would have done almost anything…

Gentle fingers brushed the tears from her cheeks.

"It shouldn't still hurt this much, Dad," she told him. "All I ever did was love him. I really thought it would be forever," she whispered. Then she realized her words. Forever. How could anyone really say forever when talking to a man who… "I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I… what's it like?" she asked him, then. "Living forever?"

He pulled her closer still, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "I would give anything to live a normal life, Sweetheart. To meet somebody. Grow old together." He gave her a gentle squeeze. "But if I had, I wouldn't have you. I would have died long before I even met your mother."

She tilted her head to look up at him. "How old are you?" it wasn't the first time she'd asked, but he'd always skirted the issue in the past, saying that it didn't matter…that he was old enough.

Jack took a breath. Let it go. Considered lying. Decided against it. "A little over two thousand years."

Her breath caught in her throat. "How?"

"I can't die," he gave her the only answer he had.

Alice found herself snuggling in closer instead of pulling away. When he suggested that they get some hot chocolate from the coffee shop across the street, she nodded. Hot chocolate sounded good.

"Why are you here, Dad?" she asked him as they exited the shop. "Why do you stay?" All those worlds… everything he must have seen. Everywhere he must have been. What could one little blue planet possibly have to keep him here?

"The people I love are here," He told her simply. She smiled, but he knew she was looking for more of an answer than that. "When I was sixteen I joined the Time Agency," he explained. "I was one of the youngest recruits on record and the first person from my home world to go." Despite everything that had happened afterwards, he couldn't help the pride in his tone. _The Face of Boe…_ pride became a shudder quickly enough as his hand went almost involuntarily to his own neck. He wondered what was really going to happen to him, would it be evolution that turned him into a giant head in a jar (or maybe irony) or an accident.

"Time Agency?" Alice's question brought him out of the future and back to the past. Sort of.

"I can't really explain what we did. It's complicated," he said to the look she gave him. "We were part time cops, part privateers, part explorers… none of us ever really knew what the others were doing, our assignments always were classified. We weren't even allowed to talk about them to each other. That doesn't mean we didn't," he smirked. "Most of us who were recruited weren't exactly the play-by-the-rules types to begin with," he added in a forcibly light tone.

If it weren't for the flash of anger in his blue eyes, the tone in his voice that he was trying to cover up—bitterness, regret, hurt—she might have teased him about fitting right in. Instead she asked him softly what had gone wrong because clearly something had.

"Like I said, it's complicated. All that really matters is that I left. I… I did a lot of things that I'm not proud of, Alice. I can't say I never hurt anybody, just that I never meant for innocent people to get hurt by the things I did."

She slid her hand into his as they walked down the path back into the park. "What happened?"

"I met a girl," he smiled. Then he started back at the beginning, World War Two, finding the alien medical transport, bringing it to Earth, setting up what should have been the perfect self-cleaning con. He hadn't really meant to go into detail, but when he started telling her what had happened—the nanogens, the children—the words tumbled out of his mouth one after the other of their volition.

He glossed over the part where he was willing to sacrifice himself to fix the mess he'd made. He hadn't felt especially noble in the moment. "The Doctor brought me onboard his ship," he told her instead. "He took me with him. He showed me things I'd never dreamt of, even when I was with the Agency.

"And then one day… one day he was gone. So I came here, because I remembered the Rift that ran through Cardiff. I knew he'd be back some day, only when I got here…" he shook his head. "The vortex manipulator I used as a Time Agent wasn't ever meant to make a jump like the one I made to get here. It fried out.

"Torchwood found me. Offered me a job. I didn't have too many options, so I took it, did what I could to make a difference," it was obvious by his tone that he didn't think he had.

"You made a difference, Dad. You saved all those children. You did it without hurting anyone else."

He forced a tight lipped smile. "All I did was clean up a mess I made forty years ago."

"That _wasn't _your fault."

"Just following orders isn't an excuse."

"You were doing the best you could. That's all anyone can ever do."

"Somehow my best always ends up with the people I love the most getting hurt."

"That's not true."

He regarded her a moment. He'd hurt her, hadn't he?

"Dad…all I ever wanted was something you can't give me, something you could never give. You can't _be_ a normal father. It's more than just your job, it's who you are. I… envy those other children of yours so much," she admitted. "Because they have you in a way that I never could."

"I'm here now. I know it's not the same, but I can't go back, I can't change things. I can't make up for the mistakes I made—maybe I should have fought for you," he added. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to hurt your mother any more than I had already."

She nodded. His answer wasn't a surprise. "It's late, I should be getting home."

Jack closed his eyes. He was afraid to ask… but finally when they got back to her car he found the courage. "Is… is this it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Am I going to get to see you again?" would he be allowed to see Steven again, or were things going to go back to the way they'd always been… or would they get worse as Steven got older and she tried to insulate him from his immortal grandfather…?

Alice frowned. Then she understood. Her expression softened. "Yes, Dad. You'll see us both again. Maybe… maybe you and Ianto could come over for dinner again sometime? If you're free…?"

He nodded eagerly. "Whenever you want to have us over, we'll be there," he was quick to agree.

"Unless the world is ending?" she teased.

He smiled, he couldn't help it. "The world is always ending."

She smiled, too. Then, "don't forget Steven's birthday is next month. Nothing too big, this year," she cautioned, "I don't want you spoiling him. I mean it, Dad," she added to the growing smile on his face. It had started in his eyes when she'd said 'yes' and continued to grow. "_Dad_—"

"Nothing too big," he echoed.

"All right." She leant up and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too," he gave her a brief hug and let her go. Then… "Alice—thank you. For… for letting me… for letting me do this. It means a lot to me. You. Steven. You mean a lot to me."

"One day at a time, Dad," she reminded him, her tone still weary. "And…and it's really for him," she lied.

"I know. I just… thank you."

"You're welcome."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Next Chapter**: introducing the kids….

As always **THANK YOU** so much for the lovely reviews this has gotten as well as for the alert listings! I'm glad you're enjoying.

For me, it's really a part of my post CoE writing therapy…. I can *finally* look at pictures of Ianto without tearing up…


	73. Future Hope

**A/N:**

Wow! Thank you for the fantastic reviews this has gotten! I _**really**_ appreciate them. I should be almost done with my "writing therapy" and ready to go finish off _Bonny Welshman_ ;-) I've left Jack and Kam dangling over there long enough, I think… AND there are a couple of Torchwood weddings to get to. Gibbs returning to Cardiff, maybe with Tony and Ziva... Nick and Greg for Sara and Gil's nuptuals...

And there is still more to say here, too. I'm sure you'll notice that someone is distinctly missing from this chapter. There was a bug that was dropped in my ear about how Cade would likely react to Nerys and Mickey (please forgive me for forgetting by whom, but I do remember the suggestion and I love it!) I have a couple of other of other requests simmering on the back burner.... In response to request, I put a little more Seren in this one, it's just that at the moment there isn't much to do with her.

* * *

**Chapter 73**

**Future Hope**

**(April 2010)**

* * *

Ianto reached over and took hold of Jack's hand, trying again to reassure him that it would be all right. In the backseat, Jason was looking out the window, excited to meet his 'cousin' Steven. He knew they weren't really cousins; he didn't know that he was Steven's uncle.

The boys were still too young to notice that Jack never looked any older, so there didn't seem any reason to tell Jason a different story from the one Alice had told her son, that she and Jack were old friends. Jason knew enough not to talk about Torchwood, the future, and he didn't seem to question the story about his father and Alice.

Steven, on the other hand had wanted to know why his Uncle Jack had never told him he had a son, why he never told him lots of things, in fact.

"_I never expected Jason to be a part of my life," Jack had told his grandson honestly, even though he knew the truth was going to hurt Steven because of his crumbling relationship with his own father. It had only gotten worse when Joe's girlfriend—now his fiancée—became pregnant. All of his emotional energy seemed to be going to her, the baby, his first family all but forgotten. _

"_How come you never told me you were married before?" Steven had asked him._

"_It was a long time ago."_

"_You said he was **ten**." Even at only ten himself, Steven didn't seem to think that was so long a time ago as to not be worth mentioning. Jack was sure he had Joe to thank for that, too._

"_I know. But… we hadn't seen each other for a long time when he finally came to live with me and your Uncle Ianto," he tried in vain to explain. "That was only two years ago." But he knew what Steven was thinking… _you're no better than my Dad… _"Things were really complicated back then. They still are," he told him the only thing he could._

"_You always say that. So does Mum," his tone was full of resentment. Anger._

"_I know. I'm sorry. I promise some day when you're older, I'll explain everything."_

"_Why can't you just tell me now!"_

It hadn't been an easy conversation. It hadn't been any easier on Alice who had to try and pick up the pieces of her son's shattered trust in Jack, after her father finally gave up and went home that day.

So she waited with growing trepidation gnawing in the pit of her stomach for them to arrive. They were meeting at a playground near her house; if things went well, they were going to go out for lunch… _if_… it was a big if. It wasn't just Steven she was worried about. She'd been trying to come to grips with the situation, how her father had had Jason first, yet he was thirty years her junior, born in the fifty first century where her—their—father had abandoned him; Jason had been three. Then two years ago he'd come back into his father's—their father's—life, shortly after the death of his other father. Five years had passed for Jason; two thousand had passed for Jack.

A flash of red caught her attention; she recognized Ianto's SUV immediately and her gut churned. Then suddenly she saw Steven sprinting across the play yard up to the curb to wait for them…

Jack felt his heart leaping into his throat when he saw Steven run for the curb. When he'd spoken to Alice this morning to confirm for today, he'd asked how he was doing… quiet wasn't a word his daughter usually used to describe her son. If it hadn't been for Ianto insisting that it would be worse if they cancelled, he would have done just that.

"_Give him time, Cariad. He'll come around. If you cancel, all you'll be doing is sending the message that when things get tough, you're not going to be there, and I know you, Jack. That's not who you are."_

"_Are you sure?"_

His Welshman's response had been a long, lingering kiss that made him melt inside… gave him more strength than he knew what to do with.

Just the same, the sight of Steven standing there, waiting… in the backseat, Jason leaned forward. "Is that him?" he asked eagerly.

"That's him," Jack told him.

Seren decided she was tired of the terry cloth bunny and tossed it at her Tad with a giggle.

Ianto cleared his throat and turned to face her. "We do _not_ throw things in the car, young lady," he told her firmly. "Or anywhere else for that matter," he eyed his husband wearily, lest Jack decide to take him too mean that it was all right to throw things elsewhere. They'd had any number of discussions on what constituted indoor verses outdoor play… not all of those discussions had involved children's playtime, either.

The older man snickered, but his partner could hear the underlying nervousness. He caught his gaze, held it for just a moment. Saw Jack relax, if only a little as he eased the SUV to a halt.

Alice had come up behind Steven and was resting her hands on his shoulders in a seemingly protective gesture. Jack cut the engine. He cast a quick glance towards the passenger seat, but Ianto was already sliding himself out, probably to get Seren from the backseat (once the car was stopped, she knew it was time to get out; if her Papa and Tad weren't quick enough, she let the whole world know what rotten fathers they were.) Jason was out of the SUV as well. Gulping down the last of his nerves as best as he could, Jack slid out of the vehicle, just on Jason's heels, so that they got to Alice and Steven together.

There was a moment of completely awkward silence, then both Jack and Alice started to speak at the same time. They both stopped. She gave an embarrassed sounding laugh—his was no better. Finally she nodded to him to go ahead with the introductions; Jack cleared his throat and started over, placing a hand gently on his son's shoulder. "Jason, I'd like you to meet Alice Carter and her son Steven. This is Jason. My son." he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so discomfited.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs Carter," Jason said politely.

"You can call me Alice, Jason," she said quickly, in a friendly tone that a fair job of masking her discomfort. He was her brother—half brother, anyway—and he'd just called her Mrs Carter. "Steven?" she gave her son a gentle nudge.

He gave a wan smile at the other boy.

"Hey, come here, don't I get a hug today?" Jack asked him then, in a hopeful tone.

Steven nodded, inching forward, but then suddenly his Uncle's arms were wrapped around him and everything seemed all right again. He held on tight for a long moment before letting go and looking back to Jason. "Do you like football?"

Eagerly, the dark haired boy nodded.

"I brought my ball… Mum is it ok if we go play?"

"Of course it is, Sweetheart," she told him, her relief obvious. "Just stay where we can see you." Alice watched the boys run off together, then she turned back to her father. His partner. Their daughter. She'd almost forgotten that Steven had been that little once… it seemed so long ago. She suddenly felt so old. She looked at her father wondering how he must feel…

"You ok?" he asked her softly.

She nodded. "I think so. She is beautiful," she told them. She wasn't sure what else to say. But neither man seemed to be expecting her to say more.

She watched as her father took the toddler into his arms while his husband got the stroller out of the back of the SUV. The way he held her, the look on his face… the tenderness… the absolute love… She swallowed hard, wondering if he'd ever looked at her like that… but then he looked up at her and she knew the answer. He had. He still did.

"What she is, is a handful," the young Welshman informed her, taking the child back and settling her into the stroller. "Much like her Papa," he added with a wry grin in his husband's direction.

"So why is that when she's an angel she's all yours," he retorted.

"Because that's the part she gets from me," the younger man quipped back without missing a beat.

Alice smiled; she couldn't help it. "Are you sure it's warm enough for her?" she asked.

"Should be," Ianto told her, tucking a patchwork blanket in around Seren for extra warmth.

………………………………………………………….

It didn't take the boys long to convince Ianto to join them in the open field, near where the adults had set themselves up on a blanket to watch.

Alice turned to her father—he had Seren in his lap. "I'm surprised it's not you out there, Dad," she commented, although it was obvious that the typically reserved Welshman was enjoying himself.

Jack gave her a sly little grin. "It helps my marriage if I let him be the one to play once in a while."

She couldn't help but chuckle, shake her head a bit. She had the sneaking suspicion that usually it was him playing and Ianto sitting on the side lines. Still, they both seemed like attentive fathers. He wasn't just holding Seren, he was talking to her, pointing out this and that, asking her to repeat things back to him, all without shutting her out, either… somehow he managed to keep the two conversations going.

Watching him interact with his young daughter brought back dozens of early-childhood memories… him teaching her to tie her shoes, the infinite patience he'd shown… the way her mother smiled over at the sight. There had been a time when they were happy, even her mother, Alice was sure of it. But mostly what she remembered, what she tried not to remember because remembering made her feel guilty over her own actions, was that her father had always had time for her. He never shrunk away from playing tea party or dollies… she couldn't imagine what Joe would have done that if they'd had a daughter instead of a son. As it was, he'd barely wanted to play with Steven, spend time with him, even before the divorce...

Just then, Steven came running over, begging Jack to join the game, so they could have a 'proper game' (although Alice had her doubts that two on two was proper in any rulebook.)

He gave an almost pained look; he couldn't just…

"I can keep an eye on Seren for a bit," Alice offered.

"Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course not. Go on. _Go._ I think I remember what to do with a baby," she reminded him as she reached over to take her. "Besides, I'm rubbish at football, and if you say no, they'll only ask me next," she added with a wry grin. She didn't miss the look in his eyes when he finally handed Seren over, however. Hope. He hoped for so much…and he was so afraid to hope for too much. So was she.

"Lalice!" Seren's sudden pronouncement shook her loose from her thoughts.

She grinned, shifting the child so they were facing one another. "That's right, I'm Alice."

"Wannabun!" Seren declared.

"Wannabun?" she repeated slowly.

"Bun. Wannabun!"

"She wants her bunny," her father supplied the translation.

"Ahhh…" Alice reached into the bag to see if she could find something that resembled a bunny.

"Uncle Jack…!" Steven tugged at his arm impatiently when he started to reach into the bag, too.

"We'll be fine, I promise," Alice told him again, retrieving the terry cloth rabbit and handing it over. She smiled up at her father. He smiled back, before being dragged off by the hand.

"Well, it looks like it's just you and me," she said to the toddler, although at the moment, all _she _was interested in was chewing on the rabbit's poor ears…Alice chucked softly and arranged her so she could watch the boys playing. All four of them.

Jack glanced back at them over his shoulder as Steven led the way over to where Ianto and Jason were waiting. He really was afraid to hope for too much, but it was hard not to. Watching Alice with Seren, he was reminded of her mother, of how good his life had been, just for a little while. Of how much it had hurt when it all got ripped away from him without warning… or maybe there had been warning signs, he'd just ignored what he didn't want to see…

He turned his gaze towards his partner. Ianto met it. Held it. Smiled that beautifully reassuring smile of his. It was all right to hope, it had to be.

_One day at a time,_ he told himself firmly, as he joined the game, where it had already been decided that he and Steven would form one team and Jason and Ianto the other. The goals posts were a pair of saplings on one side of the little field, and the left side of the big oak tree on the opposite side.

"And remember," his Welshman advised the boys, flashing a merry grin in his direction as he dropped the ball between them. "Jack cheats. He _always _cheats."

The older man shot over a menacing glower that his husband patently ignored. Just for that, he decided, he was going to show him what cheating _really_ was later, much later, in private… at the moment, however, he knew he'd better concentrate on the game at hand. It wasn't difficult.


	74. Family

**A/N:**

Thank you again for the many lovely reviews this (and all my other pieces) have gotten! I really, truly, appreciate them.

As a quick note to the Welshman's readers, there's a new story in the saga by a different author! WichedWitchoftheSE has written a wonderful story called "What You Can't Leave Behind". (That's a hint, you should read it and review!) I suppose I should warn that there are some spoilers in it, but, really, if you guys haven't figured out already that I'm a sucker for a happy ending…

And yes, I'm still working on the Bonny Welshman, I didn't (really) mean to leave you all hanging, and I'm working on Stars as well… but today is a cloudy dull day in SE Michigan, so it seemed like a good time for a little warm fluff ;-)

Unfortunately over the next few months, I probably won't be posting quite as prolifically as I have in the past, I've got some stuff to work on around here… but… well, we know what the Muses can be like, I'm not going to vanish or anything.

Thank you again.

* * *

**Chapter 74**

**Family**

**(May 2010)**

* * *

Alice Carter took a deep breath and let it out. She wasn't sure she was ready for this. She wasn't sure any amount of deep breaths or procrastinating would help, either. She opened the door of the café and stepped in out of the early spring rain, wondering if she would recognize the woman from the picture her father had shown her or…

Ella Harkness stood up, apparently having recognized her. With a stomach full of fluttering moths, Alice made her way through the not-too-busy little restaurant towards the table where her grandmother stood—she didn't look old enough to be a grandmother, at least not the grandmother of a forty year old woman.

But at the very least, Ella had picked the sort of cosy little bistro where two ordinary middleclass women might reasonably meet for lunch rather than the sorts of places her father liked to take her to. Dad had said his mum was practical, down to earth… which was funny in an ironic sort of way. Up until two years ago, Dr Surella Harkness (not that that was really her last name) had never set foot on the planet, never mind that she'd grown up on Mars which, according to Jack, was the same thing as having grown up just across the channel in the current century for how easy it was to shuttle between the two worlds.

Alice couldn't imagine it, the human empire spanning four galaxies, people travelling easily enough from one galaxy to the next… According to her father, by his time getting to the next star system over wasn't any more difficult than booking a flight to the Americas. And time travel… at least that was reserved for the elite few, although exactly how her father qualified as the sort of person anyone would trust with _that_… or so she'd teased him at the time, comparing him to Jim Kirk from the old Star Trek series. Except of course that he was even less particular about what he would bring to his bed.

To that comment, Ianto had merely snorted, completely agreeing with her. Her father's indignation had epic… and amusing.

_Me thinks the Captain doth protest too much,_ Ianto commented in a dry tone. Alice had to agree.

"I see you found it all right," Ella greeted her with a thin smile.

Alice returned it in kind. She reckoned that she knew Cardiff better than Alice was likely to know her area. When Ella extended her hand, she accepted it. "I—I really don't know what to call you," she confessed nervously as she peeled off her raincoat. She knew she couldn't very well call her gran… regardless of when Surella Harkness had been born, only a little over two decades separated them in actual years of having been alive. Alice wondered how people kept track of things like that when they started zipping through time and space at the flick of a button…

"I suppose Ella is fine," the other woman told her with another one of those wan smiles.

She nodded. She never would have imagined herself calling her mother's mother by her first name, if she'd ever met her. Her mum's parents had died when her mother was just a little girl. She'd always wished for grandparents… she supposed she should have been more careful what she was wishing for.

"This is a bit awkward, isn't it?" Ella said then, her smile warming just a bit.

Alice almost laughed, "It is. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Have a seat," she nodded to the empty chair opposite her. As Alice sat, she resumed her own chair.

The waitress came over. Alice asked for tea and a few minutes to glance at the menu. "This is a nice place," she added in her grandmother's direction. There was a lovely view of the bay. "Dad said you… or… that is… where he grew up…" she stammered.

"The Boeshane Peninsula—or like we like to fib to his husband's clan, Boeshane Illinois," she interjected with a wry look.

"I'm sorry?"

"Something Jack came up with on the fly."

"That's Dad all right," she couldn't help but smile. "So—the accent…?"

"One hundred percent natural. I haven't affected some mid-western American accent just to please him."

"It's strange," she commented, without quite meaning… but Ella seemed to understand. She knew it wasn't that the accent was strange, it was that someone born three thousand years in the future would sound like she'd just arrived from the other side of the Atlantic. Her tea arrived. She still hadn't looked at the menu.

"The fish of the day is always a good choice," Ella told her.

Alice nodded; it sounded fine to her and it was easier than trying to read the menu. She was too nervous to really concentrate on it. She had no idea what to say to the woman sitting opposite her. There were so many things she wanted to ask, so many things she didn't know how to ask. It had been Ella who rang her, asked her if she'd like to meet for lunch sometime, just the two of them… she supposed it was easier than trying to do this with the rest of the family around.

Family. The word seemed to have taken on a whole new meaning in the last eight months. Her father was becoming less of a stranger to her. His husband…Ianto was a delight. She had wanted so badly to hate him in the beginning because he represented all the things her mother never was to her father and yet now it seemed as if that might be as much her mum's fault as it was her dad's. Her father's husband accepted in him all the things that her mother couldn't. His immortality. His agelessness. Of course Ianto had yet to discover his first grey hair… but Alice had a hard time not imagining him sticking by her father in a way her mother never could.

_I asked. She said no…_ Mum had never mentioned that Dad had asked her to marry him. But she had no reason to disbelieve her father. She'd never known him to lie, not when asked a direct question.

She stirred her tea. "I'm almost afraid to ask you what he's said to you about me," she smiled to cover her uneasiness.

Ella's smile wasn't dissimilar. "I could say the same thing…but he speaks very highly of you," she added in a sincere tone. "He loves you and your son very much."

"I know. And I know I hurt him," she added.

"I'm sure he hurt you, too. He's good at that…hurting people. He doesn't mean to," she said when she saw the flash of anger in her granddaughter's eyes. It warmed her a bit to the girl…woman.

In her mind Alice Carter was the little girl in the pictures in the photo album her son had dug out for her, even though in reality she knew better, even as she'd been flipped slowly through the pages with him.

It had been strange… from her perspective, a stranger to the planet, the pictures didn't seem out of date, other than being of poor quality compared to images taken in the current decade. But Ianto had endlessly groaned about bell-bottom pants and horrible wide collars… Jack had made some reference to Saturday Night Fever, which apparently _wasn't _an illness, although the young Welshman's expression had made her think that it might as well be. Then Jack had insisted on putting on some music from the era and Ianto moaned further that if he was going to assault them with the seventies, couldn't he at least put on something decent, Abba perhaps… Jack's question about dancing queens had gone right over Ella's head, but it had gotten a pillow thrown at him from his husband.

And looking at Alice now, all Ella could do was wonder was how the woman dealt with having a step-father who hadn't even been born until 1983… but she didn't ask about that. She didn't have to. It was hard. All of it was hard. It was hard on her, too. She didn't need someone to commiserate with… she didn't know quite what she needed or why she'd called Alice in the first place. Some forty year old woman she'd never met surely didn't want her to start playing 'grandma'.

There was an extended moment of silence broken only by the arrival of their meals. After that they lapsed into small talk, the weather, Alice's job, complaints about how neither Jason nor Steven seemed to be particularly excelling at maths this year, frustration because neither boy was dull, football had simply become suddenly more rewarding…

"Are you ever going to tell your son about his grandfather?" Ella asked at last, as their plates were cleared away.

"I don't want to," she admitted. "But I'm going to have to, aren't I? He's bound to notice eventually."

"Eventually, yes," Ella agreed."

"What about Jason? He still doesn't know…?"

"No. I'm not ready for that conversation either, although I imagine it'll be Jack who tells him."

"But you'll have to answer questions, too."

She nodded. "I can't begin to imagine the things he's going to want to know."

"It won't be easy."

"No. No it must not have been," she agreed, understanding what Alice wasn't quite saying. Every little girl thought of her father as immortal, but deep down, especially as they got older, they knew it wasn't really true… only in Alice's case it was. Someday she would be an old woman and her father would look just the same… Ella couldn't imagine the toll that must have taken on Alice's mother. What it might do to Ianto some day.

The younger woman hesitated moment, then asked her what it was really like, knowing that her son was older than she was.

"He's older than everybody in this room put together," Ella told her with a bluntness that Alice found surprising. "I… I suppose in a way that makes it even more difficult to wrap one's head around… a two thousand year old man," her tone was incredulous.

"With hardly a single grey hair," Alice couldn't help but tease.

The other chuckled. "He was always vain."

"What was he like, growing up?" she finally found the nerve to ask…she supposed it was the sort of question anyone would ask their grandmother, but…

Ella smiled; it was warm. "He was full of mischief, just like he is now…" and they lapsed into an entirely different kind of small talk, as she began to tell her granddaughter the sorts of stories that grandmothers tell…


	75. Genealogy

**A/N:**

Here we go back in time again… this is set shortly after **Blood Moon**, during the time that Ianto is connecting with his birth father. Originally those chapters and this were going to be part of a longer piece about Ianto's vacation, but it never quite came together as a full story. So instead, I just posted **Fathers and Sons** here in **Short Stories**, and finally decided to go ahead and post this here, too seeing as I actually wrote it months before **Fathers and Sons**, anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Seventy Five**

Genealogy

"_Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living." _

* * *

Jack sipped at his coffee… it wasn't Ianto's coffee. That was ok, he told himself again. He was perfectly capable of making coffee his own coffee. But he missed his Welshman's coffee.

_One week down… one to go…_ then Jack would meet Ianto in New York. He had never had such a hard time marking days off on a calendar before. It wasn't like him to miss the little things… the not so little things. It wasn't just his husband's coffee he missed. He missed going to bed holding the younger man in his arms. He missed his kisses… he missed his dry sense of humour. His laugh.

_Pineapple… chocolate chip cookies. Coffee. That red UNIT cap…_ he ran down in his mind again all the things he never wanted to forget. _Beautiful Welsh vowels. Grey blue eyes. The way he makes me feel when he says he loves me… _He'd never expected to meet anybody who made him feel so…so alive. It was funny, for a guy who had more life than he knew what to do with, he felt like the first… two thousand years…he set down his mug and pushed back the memories of the nearly two thousand years he'd spent buried alive…

Jack got up and walked into the kitchen. As little time as Ianto spent in it—cooking really wasn't his strong suit—it was the room that most reminded him of his partner. He could see him washing up the dishes or puttering with the coffee… quietly moaning about what a mess Jack always made. He smiled. It would only be another week before he got to see him again. If he got really lonely he could call, even though he'd promised he wouldn't. He knew Ianto would forgive him if he broke that promise.

He knew his partner would call him if he needed anything… wanted anything… but what Yan needed was time to sort out a few things on his own. They would talk in New York. It wasn't anything bad, that's what the younger man kept promising. Jack had to believe that. He had to believe that they hadn't been through everything they'd been through the last year only to find himself alone again. But Ianto was right, he didn't have a life outside Torchwood, he hadn't had in a long time. He needed to figure out for himself it was really worth it… the thought didn't sit well in Jack's gut. He kept having bad dreams about showing up in New York to find little more than a "Dear Jack" letter in Ianto's hotel room, a note telling him that he wanted a normal life and let's face it that didn't include a husband who couldn't die… only he knew Ianto would never do that to him.

He hoped.

There was so much he wanted to give the younger man, so much he knew he _could _give him if he just tried hard enough. But he would have to get Martha's help before he could bring any of it up with his Welshman. She was the only one who knew how to get in touch with the Doctor, and his was the help that he ultimately needed to do what it was he was thinking about, something he swore he would never do again… but Ianto would make such an awesome tad… assuming he didn't get to New York and find a "Dear Jack" letter waiting for him, that was.

He was starting to contemplate whether or not he should go into work even though it was supposed to be his day off. Jason was at school his and mother was out and he was finding himself with entirely too much time to sit and think unpleasant thoughts. He'd tried flipping through the television channels and quickly remembered why he hardly ever bothered, especially in the middle of the morning on a weekday. He picked up a book… he was making his way back through the Harry Potter series… but he couldn't focus on the words.

He traded the book in for a stack of paperwork he'd brought home last night but he couldn't focus on that either.

Jack was just getting up intending to put a shirt on over his t-shirt and head into the Hub for a couple of hours when there came a knock at the front door; it was barely noon. He frowned and glanced out the window. There was a car he didn't recognize parked at the curb and on his front porch stood an anxious looking young man who appeared to be in his mid-twenties.

Jack slid the braces up over his shoulders in the attempt to look just slightly less unkempt (the man was definitely cute and while he wasn't interested, there was no need to look like a slob) and opened the door with a polite, "Hello." _Oh to be single…_ he couldn't help but muse.

The stranger had shoulder length dark hair pushed back behind his ears (one of which was pierced, twice no less) and blue eyes. His general appearance read _college student…_ worn jeans, and well worn trainers, a cable knit sweater with a couple of runs, a scarf around his neck, leather satchel slung over one shoulder. The old fashioned fedora hat made Jack smile just a little. He might have smiled more if the young man weren't wearing such an odd expression. It was somewhere between awe (never a bad thing to have coming from a gorgeous stranger standing on one's doorstep), disbelief and anxiety.

"Can I help you?" he queried when the man continued to stare at him for several long heartbeats without uttering a word. At the very least, he didn't look threatening, although threats came in all shapes and sizes, Jack of all people knew that.

"I… sorry… I'm sorry to bother you… it's just… wow," he stuttered in a lilting accent that definitely was neither English nor Welsh.

Jack blinked. "Ok. I'm flattered, I think…"

The young man flushed a deep shade of pink.

Which was when the scent hit Jack. It had been only barely detectable until the sudden rush of blood caused by embarrassment brought it to the fore… _pheromones_… sweet and musky… familiar.

Jack felt his jaw clench… men in this era did_ not_ smell like that. And yet there was nothing about this man that read Time Agent… or even time traveller… but a well seasoned agent would know how to blend in, Jack knew that.

He took a breath and forced an easy smile; the scent wasn't heavy. It could just be some weird genetic fluke making the kid exude the familiar fifty first century pheromones ahead of his time. "Is there something you actually wanted?" the Captain asked him again.

"I'm sorry… really… it's just… may I come in? I'm Shane… Shane Bruster," he added quickly, extending his hand as if it had only just occurred to him that he was being both rude and a little forward. "You're Jack Harkness, right? Y'must be."

Jack accepted the other's nervous handshake. "Captain Jack Harkness," he affirmed, eyeing the young man more sharply.

The kid looked gobsmacked. "You're really a Captain, then?"

He frowned, "United States Air Force, retired," the pronouncement seemed to make the young man regard him with more awe and disbelief. "Maybe you _should_ come in," he stepped aside. Whatever the kid's game was, he didn't want to stand on his front porch sorting it out. "Coffee?"

"Yes, please. Thank you, Sir."

Jack gave him a quick look… not many people called him that... "So who are you again?" he asked as he led the way towards the kitchen.

"Sorry… it's just… wow. Here," he dug into the leather bag and produced a picture, without quite taking his eyes off Jack. "Maybe this'll help. These are my great grand parents…"

Jack's knees threatened to give out… it was his and Laura's his wedding photo. He looked at the kid…

"You've seen this before then, yeah?" he said.

Jack cleared his throat and took the picture from the boy's outstretched hand anyway. "Yeah… I ah… yeah. Old family photo," he fibbed, trying desperately not to stare at the kid… his great grand son… he got a mug down for his guest.

"Can I ask how you're related, Sir?"

Jack blinked again. "You can drop the Sir. Retired, remember?" he flashed a smile over his shoulder—realized what kind of smile it was, what kind of smile he always wore— he quickly turned back to the coffee. Flirting, even inadvertently, with his own great grandson was somehow just…wrong. Utterly wrong. "How did you find me?" he wanted to know.

"Harkness is a pretty uncommon name. There are only a couple of other of us…well, I'm not _really _a Harkness just his descendant," he blushed again, causing another wave of pheromones to go crashing in Jack's direction. Coming from any other source, he would have found it a pleasant distraction, but from this kid… he tried to think back, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember passing down his fifty first century scent to any of his children… Shane was still rambling:

"…I found only one other Jack Harkness, an American pilot… thanks," he said when Jack handed over the coffee. "But he doesn't seem to be related at all. At least his family doesn't think so."

"You talked to his family?" Jack realized belatedly how odd that question must sound. Jack, the real Jack, had lived and died over fifty years ago. But he remembered him… remembered kissing him…

Shane shrugged. "I was in the States. I figured it couldna hurt. It seemed funny that that both Jack Harknesses were American… my great grandfather was American… but I'm guessing you know that already," he smiled again, blushing slightly, smelling of the fifty first century. "How're you related t' him?"

"Distantly. I think." Jack sipped his coffee, his mind reeling to come up with some kind of plausible explanation. "Why the interest?" he asked, desperately hoping the question sounded innocent.

He gestured towards the little sitting room off the kitchen and nodded for Shane to have a seat.

"M' parents died when I was seven," he young man explained. "I didna have any other relatives really… it's not as dismal as it sounds," he added quickly to the look on the other man's face. "I went to live with a nice family in Ireland."

"Your accent."

Shane nodded. "A few years ago my foster mum found an old trunk in the attic… Da'd passed, she was cleaning up… I think she'd forgotten all about it. Anyway, there were a bunch of old photos from my birth family. I've no idea where she got them from. Like I said, I didna really have any family living, least none could be found when I was a kid. But when Mum gave me the trunk, I decided to see if I could put together a proper family tree. See," he pulled an old Bible out of his satchel and laid it open…

Jack didn't need to look at it. He remembered Laura's Bible, her family tree… his little spot on it.

"I've been filling in what I could… that's me," he smiled sheepishly of the baby photo stuck onto one of the top branches.

The older man couldn't help but smile, too. He barely remembered what Jason had looked like as a baby… he'd hardly been around. But his mother had some pictures; he looked a little like Shane had looked back then. "Cute kid."

Shane laughed, "Yeah, that's what my girlfriend says."

Jack's smile deepened even though he had no business caring about Shane. He'd walked away from his girls after Laura died. He had his own family now… but sitting across from him was his own great grandson—not that he could ever know.

"There's me Mum and Da…" he pointed out the photographs of his long dead parents. "Her name was Laura, after Laura Harkness. Her mum was Sara, and her mother's sister Beatrice. Bea died in the War. World War II. During the blitz."

Jack felt his chest tighten for the death of a grand daughter he'd never known. "How… how did your grandmother die?"

"Probably TB. This is her mother…"

"Rose." Jack supplied the name without thinking. His little girl. He remembered with sudden, heartbreaking clarity the first time he'd held her in his arms… he could see Laura's face… she was so exhausted. So proud. So worried that he'd be upset she had given him two daughters but no sons…

_There'll be plenty of time to fill the house up with boys,_ he'd promised her.

Less than a year after Rose was born, Laura died. There were no more children. No more promises. No more laughter…

Shane nodded. "Jack and Laura Harkness died just after she was born."

The older man swallowed. It didn't help the tight feeling in his chest.

"I've been able to trace my great grand mother's family back almost five hundred years, but there's no records of any Jack Harkness—you know, _this_ Jack Harkness," although it was obvious how struck he was by the resemblance Jack bore to his own photograph, "on either side of the Atlantic. He was quite the mystery man."

Jack cleared his throat. "I guess it's a dead end, then."

"Except for you."

"I… don't know if can help you much. I don't… really know much about… the family tree." He gazed down at the family tree in Laura's Bible again, suddenly wishing he had kept up with who they were. Where they went in life. He'd slipped into the church when Rose got married, just to see her, to watch her uncle take what should have been his place, walking her down the aisle. She'd looked so very happy… it was how he wanted to remember her, so he never went back, never saw her again. "So… what… what do you do… I mean…" he cleared his throat. "What do you do with yourself besides all this?"

Shane chuckled, "Archaeology."

"Archaeology?"

"Please, no Indiana Jones jokes, Captain. It's not nearly so exciting. I spend half my time begging for money, the other half sifting through red tape. The amount of time I actually spend in the field is minimal. Unfortunately."

"I was just going to say that you seemed a little young."

His smile remained warm. Easy. "I get that a lot, too. I'm twenty eight. I caught a few lucky breaks after finishing my post graduate work is all." He shrugged.

Jack smiled. "Have you had lunch? I was about to head out…" although it hadn't been to get a bite to eat. "My treat," he added, as he got the impression that Shane probably didn't have much more than lint in his pockets.

"You don't have to…"

"Sure I do," Jack stood up. "Just let me go put on a shirt." Suddenly it occurred to him that he might be being pushy…but then Shane smiled. It was a broad, welcome grin. "Give me ten minutes. Erm… if you're interested, there's a couple of photo albums on the shelf there. Nothing as old as those," he nodded down at the pictures in Laura's Bible.

"Thanks," the young man reached for the nearest album, leaving Jack wondering just what he was going to make of his and Ianto's wedding…


	76. Connections

**Thank you again** for the lovely reviews! I really, really appreciate them.

* * *

**Chapter Seventy Six**

**Connections**

* * *

"_We all have our time machines.  
Some take us back, they're called memories.  
Some take us forward, they're called dreams."_

Jeremy Irons

* * *

Shane flipped through the pages of the other man's wedding album, smiling. Whoever had lain out the album had very carefully and neatly labelled each of the photos to indicate who everybody was… he presumed it was Jack's wife, not the Captain himself. Something about his… hmmm… he wasn't sure what they were to each other really, but _this_ Jack Harkness looked too much like Great grandfather Jack for them not to all be related. That made him smile, too. But regardless, there was something about _this _Jack that made him think he wasn't the kind of many to carefully label every photo. The project must have taken ages _and a lot of patience,_ he mused.

His foster parents hadn't had much family, so he'd grown up envying people who had lots of family around them. Not the nasty kind of envy, not where he was jealous or bitter or anything, he'd just wished that he had more kith and kin of his own, adopted or otherwise. That was part of why he'd started the family tree project. Unfortunately, it hadn't gone very well…

He flipped the next page and stopped short, just as Jack came bounding down the stair. On the page in front of him was a picture of Jack and…and there was no doubting that the young man in the photo with him was his partner (even if there had been, the wedding invitation on the opposite page would have cleared up any lingering doubts because the last time he checked, Ifan wasn't a woman's name).

The older man forced a good natured smile, realizing exactly the conclusion Shane had come to about the picture he was gawking at. He decided not to get into a long winded discussion about the uselessness of labels—though it was tempting. "It's pretty much all his family in there," he said instead, shoving his hands into his pockets. He and Ianto had been through so much… _he __**can't**__ decide to up and leave me now…_ he'd just gotten comfortable, happy. If he left now, it wouldn't be fair... not that life was always fair.

"What about yours then? I mean…" Shane blushed. "I just wondered…"

"My mom lives with us now, but she wasn't able to make the wedding. I guess you could say we were estranged for a while," he settled on the easiest explanation he could think of, realizing only belatedly the conclusion that Shane was likely to come to—but really it didn't matter. After today, Jack doubted he was ever going to see him again. For reasons he didn't fully understand, that made him a little sad…after all, before today, he hadn't known that Shane Bruster existed. "This is her and my son, Jason," he reached across to his desk and picked up the framed picture of them to show to the younger man.

If Shane thought anything about that, it didn't register on his face. "He looks just like you," was all he said, his smile seeming genuine enough to be believable.

"Looking at your baby picture in Laura's Bible there, he looks a lot like you, too," the Captain told him honestly.

"Guess we really must be related then, yeah?" He handed the photo back. Even though it was obvious that they must be, the hopefulness in his tone was impossible to miss.

"Yeah." Jack agreed, his gaze lingering on the photo a moment longer. The resemblance between Jason and Shane was impossible to miss. "You hungry?" he asked, rather than think about it.

"Sure. And thanks," he said as he rose to his feet, bundling Laura's Bible back up into his satchel and shouldering it. "I really hadn't expected… I mean… I don't really have much in the way of family," he admitted. "I'm not looking for anything or anything, just to know where I came from."

"You must have found some of Jack and Laura's descendants," he kept his tone neutral. He was suddenly and for the first time glad Lucia had so paranoid that she'd changed her name, changed their daughter's name… he could just imagine Alice's reaction if Shane showed up on _her_ doorstep looking for Jack Harkness' kith and kin… their relationship was strained enough as it was.

"Not everyone I've been able to find has been exactly welcoming."

Jack nodded; he could believe that. He grabbed up his coat from where he'd left it hanging over the banister by the front door, something he never would have been able to get away with if Ianto were around… damn, he missed him.

And Shane was staring. "Sorry," he apologized. "It's just… I tracked down a couple of photos of Jack Harkness—both Jack Harknesses, the one we're related to and the one we're not. I mean, I don't have any proof we're related to the one or anything, but the resemblance is too much to be a coincidence. With that coat on, you look just like him. The one we must be related to," he amended, clearly too gobsmacked to think clearly.

He wasn't the only one, although Jack supposed he shouldn't be so surprised, he'd lived through World War Two twice. Just the same, "Where did you track down photos from the War?" he wanted to know.

"Military archives. I figured most guys were signed up. Research is apparently my specialty," he explained, sounding a little disgruntled.

He remarked as much as he opened the front door so they could make their exit.

"What I like is being in the field, getting my hands dirty," the young archaeologist told him. "Not stuck in some library somewhere in front a computer for hours on end. But I'm really good at it, so all the job offers I keep getting are to be somebody else's research assistant," he said 'research assistant' like they were bad words. He supposed he shouldn't be so ungrateful, at least he was _getting _job offers. "I don' mean t' moan, sorry."

Jack waved it off. "We can take mine," said when the younger man started towards his car. It was an older model and had a few rust spots… he motioned towards his black convertible parked across the street. According to Ianto it was 'a bit flash'—but he was the one who'd been pushing him to buy his own car, something that didn't practically scream 'Torchwood' everywhere they went.

"Wow," Shane breathed when he realized that it really was the sporty black convertible the other man was heading towards.

"Every boy deserves to a new toy when he's been good," he waggled his brows and flashed the same grin he'd flashed when he said that to Ianto… although he remembered inviting his husband to go take a test drive with him… he grimaced apologetically at Shane, but if he thought anything of his inadvertent flirting he didn't say anything. He did, however, marvel when Jack turned the key in the ignition. "Some motor, huh?" he smirked.

"You know I'm not looking for handouts, but if you wanted an older son who's already out of university…" the other teased. "I'm pretty handy in the kitchen, too."

Jack laughed, although it was as much to cover up the sudden pang in his chest as anything else. He'd walked out on so much when he walked out on Jason, on his and Laura's girls. He was always telling himself it was for the best, but sometimes he wondered if he was just trying to convince himself of that. "What d'you feel like?" he asked of the young man sitting next to him.

Shane gave him a questioning look.

"Lunch," Jack clarified as he eased his car out of the subdivision and onto the main street.

"Whatever you fancy's fine with me, Captain," the boy flashed an almost nervous smile.

"Have you spent much time in Cardiff?"

"First time here."

He grinned. "Then I have just the place to take you."

……………………………………………………………………..

Although he wouldn't call the pub atmosphere 'posh', Shane couldn't help but feeling underdressed—not that the man next to him was wearing a jacket and tie. Far from it, in fact. He was just glad that they'd actually arrived at a restaurant; it had occurred to him belatedly that he knew absolutely nothing about this man yet he'd gotten into a car with him. Yes, he was an adult, not some helpless little kid (he'd even taken a judo class once), but still, one read stories and just because they were related… but Jack Harkness seemed like an all right enough sort of bloke.

The hostess greeted him by name and told him his usual table was open, if he'd like. Jack grinned and affirmed that that would be fantastic.

Their waitress arrived before the hostess had them properly settled in. "Afternoon, Captain," she greeted him with a friendly smile. "Who's this, then? Mr Jones has barely been gone a week now and already out with a new man?" she was clearly teasing him. "Although I wouldn't mind seeing the dishy doctor of yours again…."

"I'll be sure to let Bobby know you miss him," he grinned.

She smiled and inquired as to their drink order.

The few moments of good natured banter between the two had given Shane a chance to glance at the menu. He could buy groceries for a week on what lunch was going to cost… although he also had to admit that most of the time his groceries for the week consisted of ramen noodles and tuna fish, and then only when tuna was on sale. Just because he could cook didn't mean he could afford to cook the way he wanted to.

"Remember, this is my treat, so get whatever you want," Jack prompted him when he realized he was hesitating.

"Just…whatever you're having to drink is fine with me."

"Our Captain's a right tea-totaller most days," the waitress told him with a wink. "Why don't I get you something nice from the tap, yeah?"

"Erm… sure, yeah," he answered, still feeling uncertain—but Harkness beamed with pleasure. "So, I never asked you what you did?" said Shane, when their waitress departed—but not before Jack asked her to bring them a big platter of 'those beef and dumpling things' to nibble on while they looked at the menu. There was something in the way he said the word 'nibble' that made the waitress blush. Shane too.

"Civil service… I work for the Tourist Bureau."

"Tourism must be good," he couldn't help his incredulousness. Harkness home was unassuming, but that car, this place?

Jack just smirked. "Management has its perks."

Shane decided _**not **_to ask what those might be… he was surprised, then, by the way Jack settled them into an easy round of small talk. He asked about where he'd gone to school and some of the places he'd been—and unlike a lot of other people, he seemed genuinely interested. Their drinks arrived followed shortly by a platter of 'beef and dumpling things' that were absolutely to die for.

On Jack's recommendation, Shane ordered the Brecon venison, though he had the steak himself. He insisted that they share a plate of vegetables, something that made the waitress grin and roll her eyes, confiding in a not-so quiet tone that his husband detested vegetables, but that never stops the Captain from trying to get him to eat them.

"Somebody's gotta look out for him," he told her with a merry grin.

…………………………………………………….

"Thanks again," said Shane, when Jack returned him to his car. "I really appreciate…well, everything," he smiled. "Not just lunch… it's just… I really don't have much of anybody to call family, you know?"

"Yeah. I do know," he affirmed.

"Maybe… maybe we could do it again sometime? I mean… not that I meant…" he didn't mean he expected Jack to take him to lunch again, just that he'd like to get together again sometime.

But the older man's hand on his shoulder stopped him from further embarrassing himself. "I'd love to," he said. "I'm sure my husband would love to meet you, too," he added, hoping it was the truth. "Maybe we could have you and your girlfriend over for dinner when he gets back from his holiday." Although what his mother was going to have to say was anybody's guess because even if he had no intention of telling Shane exactly how they were related, there was no getting around telling her.

"I'd like that. I'm sure Kim would, too."


	77. New York

**A/N:**

**WOW! **Thank you everyone for the fantastic reviews on this one ;-) It was really honestly only intended as an introduction to Shane… but I guess my arm could be twisted into writing a little more and I have been promising that we'll get in a little more of Ianto's vacation.

I would also like to take a moment to let anyone who hasn't seen it yet know, that **Xero Shane** has written a brilliant story called _**"Don't Snog and Tell Jack"**_ in which you'll find a few of the characters from 'my' little world (I really can't lay sole ownership of this AU'verse anymore.) It's the beginning of the adventures of Torchwood London.

* * *

**Chapter Seventy S****even**

New York

* * *

Jack wasn't expecting Ianto to pick him up from the airport—in fact, he'd told him not to. But that didn't stop him from anxiously scanning the crowded terminal, hope rising… falling. No familiar Welsh face was waiting for him in the crowd. He forced a grim smile and collected his luggage. Ianto wouldn't really bring him all the way to New York just to tell him they were through… would he?

He might not have been quite so bothered by Ianto's absence if the email he'd gotten from the younger man two days ago had been just a little less… professional. He was apparently in full 'office manager' mode when he sent him his itinerary, including the note that the room was booked under the name Harkness. Jack was starting to wonder if that meant Ianto had booked him into his own room. There had been no mention of 'I miss you' or 'I love you' or even an 'XO' at the end of his note. He couldn't think of the last time Ianto hadn't signed 'XO'. Kiss and hug. It was a stupid thing to be upset about, but those two little letters always let him know that even though he'd screwed up, it was still going to be all right, he would be forgiven.

Which somehow brought his thoughts around to Shane Bruster. In the past week they'd had lunch a couple of times and he knew he was developing a real fondness for the kid. His mother had warned him to be careful about getting too attached. He had enough to worry about without adding to it and really, Shane wasn't anything to him, just a very distant relative… a very distant relative with a keen mind and an eye for detail. Not that it was likely he was going to figure out that he was really great grandpa Jack or anything. _Thank goodness. _But eventually he was going to have to come up with something to tell him. The kid wasn't asking uncomfortable questions, but Jack could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to piece together the connection.

Other than her warning, his mother had taken Shane's existence gracefully. Jason had been a little tougher. How did a man explain to his nine year old son that he'd been married at the turn of the century without also telling him that he was immortal, would never die… Jack's mother had borne the worst of it, reminding Jason that his Papa was a Time Agent, so really it wasn't such a big deal for him to have been around a hundred years ago… Jason was still processing it. Since they'd told him, Jack had had to field a lot of questions about Laura and why he'd left her, too, why he'd left their children.

"_What about Ianto?" The boy had asked then. "Will you leave __**him**__ like you did everybody else?"_ _Jack could see the question Jason wasn't asking 'will you leave me again?'_

"_No. This time it's for real.__ I promise. We're a family, all of us."_

"_Forever?"_

"_I… yeah. Yeah, it's forever," he lied, hanging onto him tight and trying to ignore how much the word hurt. They wouldn't have forever. At most he'd have another five or ten years with his Welshman… even Jason would eventually grow old and die, he'd bury him. That was exactly why he'd run away from his and Laura's girls, even though he still tried to tell himself it had been for them, not for him. The truth was that the thought of watching his own children grow old and die hurt… but the thought of leaving Jason behind again hurt so much more. _

He had little difficulty finding a cab outside the airport terminal. He gave the driver the name and address of the hotel—it had been a while since he'd been in New York (and he hadn't exactly been sightseeing anyway), but the hotel seemed a little off the main drag. Then again, maybe that was a good thing, a good sign. Maybe it meant Ianto had picked some romantic little hideaway for them to spend the weekend in together… The thought warmed him on the ride towards Manhattan's Upper East Side.

He smiled as the driver pulled to the curb and a doorman came to open the door for him; romantic and classy. And best of, all as soon as he got into the lobby, he spotted a familiar, casually dressed, young man making out postcards near the door, looking almost as if he'd been waiting…

Ianto abandoned his neat little stack of New York City mementoes and bee-lined for his husband. Even before he'd fully closed the distance between them, his scent enveloped him. Without thinking, or honestly caring, about who was watching them, he slid his arms around Jack's waist; the older man reciprocated. Strong arms pulled him in close, held him securely. He buried his nose in his shoulder, his coat. His scent. He held on tight and enjoyed the warmth of this embrace for a long, long moment before lifting his chin away from his shoulder. Jack met his kiss halfway, returned it. If his hug was welcome, his kiss was doubly so or more. Ianto didn't care where they were, who was watching, when he felt his partner's tongue playing at his lips, he yielded instantly, allowed him entrance, letting him take control of the kiss, his tongue roaming savagely—tenderly—over his own tongue, his teeth while his hands roamed over his back.

"God, I missed you," he breathed when he could finally talk again. His knees had gone to gelatine some moments before.

"Missed you too," Jack murmured, kissing him again, more gently this time. "Do ah… do I need to check in… or…" _or am I being paranoid, of course you wouldn't really book me into my own room_…_?_

His grin was a welcome sight, sending a wave of relief through the immortal. "I got here about an hour ago and got us all set," he told him.

"Sorry about that—my plane got delayed in Cardiff."

"I know. I called the airport."

He smiled, "Why, did you think I wasn't coming?" he teased, playing on the double entendre—weak though he knew it was.

The other grinned at him anyway, "Give me ten minutes and we'll see about you coming…"

"Why Mr Jones," Jack snaked his arm around his waist. "I do believe you missed me."

"I did, Jack," the seriousness of his tone stopped the older man's banter, but it warmed him just the same. "I've never missed anybody so much," he told him.

"Me either," he confessed. "Now come on… what?" he asked of the look that came over his Welshman's face just then. Guilt? What did he have to be guilty about...? Unless he had been about to tell him he'd booked him his own room but changed his mind...

"I erm…" he cleared his throat. "It's about the room."

"It doesn't matter." If he'd booked him into another room… or whatever was making him look away…he didn't care.

"It's just… I… well, I wanted something special for this weekend and… and I… well… you should probably see for yourself."

"Sweetheart, I'd be happy spending the weekend in a cardboard box just as long as you were next to me."

Although he laughed, Ianto was clearly not amused by the notion of spending any amount of time in a cardboard box. "I just… I've never done anything like this before."

"Like what?"

"I sort of charged it to the Torchwood credit card because it was more than I could afford on my own," he admitted sheepishly.

Jack laughed, he couldn't help it. "Considering I'm the boss you're the one who does the books anyway… I don't care, Ianto. You deserve it."

"You haven't seen the room yet. Although it _is_ just for the weekend. I was staying at a different hotel during the week," he assured him as they made their way towards the lift. "A much more sensible one. But I wanted this weekend to be special."

"It already is," he said he said in a low husky tone that promised the younger man that just as soon as they got to whatever over priced room he'd booked them into, it was about to get even more special…

The chocolate covered strawberries and champagne Ianto had waiting for him in their room, coupled with the spectacular view of the city with Central Park only few blocks away, didn't hurt any, either.


	78. Yours, Mine and Ours

**Chapter Seventy ****Eight**

Yours, Mine and Ours

* * *

"What d'you say we stay an extra couple of days?" Jack suggested as he slipped back out onto the terrace to join his husband, wrapping his arms around the younger man's waist. It was well past midnight, but much to his delight, the concierge had had no trouble at all scrounging up fresh pineapple and whipped cream for a 'midnight snack'. He pulled Ianto closer to him, revelling in the way his body felt against him. "I'm sure Martha will want to see me and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to stop doing this," he placed a warm kiss on the back of his lover's neck, "any time soon."

The other laughed, "You really haven't seen how much this place costs, have you?"

He kissed his neck again. "You're worth it."

Ianto turned in his arms so they were facing each other. "I love you too. But… there are still some things we need to talk about, Jack."

"I know," _just tell me… _

"It's nothing bad, I promise. I just… I missed you, but it was good to be on my own for a while. I enjoyed just... just 'being', if that makes any sense."

"I think so," he nodded. "If you need more space all you have to do is say so," he suddenly wondered if his idea, the one that involved him getting pregnant again, was really such a good one. After all if what his partner needed was more time away…

He shook his head. "It's not a matter of space. I just… I need a life outside Torchwood. And…there's something I need to tell you. Or, I suppose I don't need to, but I want to," he sounded uncertain.

"You can tell me anything, you know that."

He nodded, but didn't seem any more sure of himself. "Before I left, I…that is… I found my father. I went to see him," the words tumbled out in a rush.

"Are you ok?" the Captain asked; he didn't know what else to say. Ianto had so rarely spoken of his birth father or his mother's first marriage.

"Yeah. I'm ok. We… I think we got along ok," a hint of a smile flickered across his face. "I'd like to see him again."

"Sweetheart, you don't need my permission," he said because it sounded like that was what he was asking for.

"I know. But… Jack, Nerys… I brought up trying to find him once before with her," his expression told Jack everything he needed to know about how well it had gone over. "I don't know what happened when we lived with him, what happened between him and my mother, but Nerys…"

"Shhhh," he brushed a soft kiss across his partner's mouth. "She doesn't need to know, not unless you want to tell her."

"I just feel like I should tell her, she's my sister, but she won't understand. At least not about that."

Jack nodded and guided them towards a couple of softly padded chairs so they could sit. "Was he happy to see you at least?"

"I'm not sure… I'm not sure he's happy about anything, but he invited me back, so I guess that's good. He's nothing like what I expected, but I think I like him, Jack," the hopefulness in his tone was impossible to miss.

The immortal smiled. "I'm glad you found him, Sweetheart. I mean that."

"It means…it means everything to have your support," he replied truthfully. "But… there's something else, something… something I've been thinking about for a while, now." He swallowed but the lump in his throat wouldn't go down.

"Whatever it is…"

"I need somebody to talk to, Jack. About my life. My job. About _you_."

"What do you mean?"

"I need one person who knows who I am. One person I can go to with the kinds of things I can't go to anybody else with. I need someone _outside _Torchwood, Jack."

"And you want that one person…?"

He shook his head, understanding the perplexed look on the older man's face. He didn't want that person to be his birth father. "Nerys already knows I work for Torchwood and we've always—or almost always—been close. You and I both know we can trust her not to say anything to anyone," he said to the increasing frown that was coming over his husband's features. "I need this Jack. I need someone to confide in, about anything. Everything. I need to be able to do that without having to retcon them afterwards—or being afraid that you might I—I understand why Suzie did some of the things she did, Jack," he said softly, "how mad she must have been not to have anybody but the rest of us to talk to. I don't want to end up like that." He also didn't want to rub salt in an old wound, but he didn't know how else to make him understand.

"I would _never_ let that happen," he told him. But he'd let it happen with Suzie and he knew, he remembered… they'd never been lovers but there had been a time when they'd been very good friends, yet he'd never seen, never realized that her mental state was degrading, day by day… year by year. He ran his thumb over the young man's hands. "If you're asking me for the ok to talk to your sister… you've got it, Sweetheart. You're right. Everybody needs someone to talk to."

"Thank you," he breathed.

"You're welcome. But erm…speaking of family," he cleared his throat. Now seemed like as good a time as any to tell Ianto about Shane. "Do you remember when you asked me if I had any other children out there and I said 'no'…?"

The Welshman closed his eyes for just a moment. "Yeah. I remember that." His tone was cool.

"It's not that. He's my great grandson is all."

He blinked. "Sorry?"

"He doesn't know it, he just thinks I'm somehow related to Jack and Laura Harkness, not that I am Jack Harkness. That Jack Harkness. He's twenty eight," he added quickly, because he figured he might as well get it all out into the open at once and wait for the explosion.

"How did he find you?"

"His research skills are almost as good as yours," he smirked. Then, more seriously, he explained: "He got hold of some of Laura's old photos and decided to go looking for any family he could find. Apparently there aren't many Harknesses in the UK. He showed up about a week ago."

"I don't mean to sound cynical, Jack, but are you sure he is who he says he is? It's really not that difficult to get one's hands on a few old photographs and fabricate a story."

He smiled despite the way his nerves were making his stomach jump and churn. "There's no doubt."

"All right."

And… he waited.

But Ianto didn't say anything, didn't explode. He didn't even look angry.

"All right?" he questioned.

The younger man shrugged. "What else should I say? It's hardly as if I didn't know you and Laura had children. There was always the possibility that some day you'd meet one of your own descendants."

"I erm… I had lunch with him a couple of times this week…" he confessed.

He just nodded.

"And invited him and his girlfriend to dinner some night…"

To that Ianto finally reacted, groaning and rolling his eyes. "Please just promise me you won't treat them to your so-called authentic American meatloaf, Caraid, at least assuming you want to remain on speaking terms."

"Actually I was thinking of making chilli," he beamed.

The other man laughed, "I feel sorry for him already."

Jack pulled him into a kiss. Then, in a sober tone, asked him if he was really ok with the situation.

"Of course I am, Jack. He's your great grandson. It's not like… well, it's not like we're ever going to have children or anything. Why not keep in touch with the family you have?"

"We could," he said impulsively, unable to let an opening like that pass him by. He might never get another one and… and he had no idea if it was something Ianto wanted, but if it was, there was _nothing_ he wouldn't do to give him the kind of life, the kind of 'normal' he deserved.

And Ianto was giving over a very odd look. "We could what?" he wanted to know.

"You, me… baby…" although he realized just how awful that must have sounded.

His Welshman's expression certainly wasn't encouraging. "Perhaps you were having a kip in class when they covered reproduction in the twenty first century, Cariad, but if I'm understanding how you and Roan had Jason correctly, than without some serious medical intervention…"

"Exactly."

"Medical intervention that won't be available for…what, another two thousand years?"

"About that, yeah. But you're forgetting, Martha has a direct line to the Doctor," he grinned, mostly in an attempt to cover his nerves. This wasn't exactly how he'd planned the conversation. Or the reception he'd expected.

"Are… are you serious, Jack?"

"I already talked to him. He's agreed to take us somewhere—somewhen—where it's possible. If… if it's something… if you want. Whatever you want." _Anything you want…_ he held onto his hands hoping he hadn't just made another colossal mistake in their relationship.

Ianto was quiet for several long heartbeats while he attempted to collect his thoughts. Of all the things Jack could ever propose, he never would have expected…. _you…me… baby…_ leave it to his husband to have all the finesse of a seventeen year old when asking him if wanted…. Had Jack _really_ just asked him if he wanted to have a baby? "I think I need some time to think about this," he said slowly.

"Take all the time you need, Sweetheart."

"Jack…even… even if—this isn't something to be taken lightly," he told him. "It's not something to offer because… because of any other reason than it's something you want, too."

"I know." That 'too' wasn't lost on him, but he didn't remark on it, he just let Ianto talk.

"I'm not sure if…but… thank you. For being willing to…to consider it. I know you wouldn't have asked if you didn't mean it."

Not knowing what else to say or do, Jack leant in… he was rewarded with a soft, sweet kiss, the kind that he hoped he never forgot no matter how long he lived…


	79. Give Sorrow Words

**A/N:**

**First, THANK YOU for all the reviews this and my other stories have gotten. I so very much appreciate them~**

This chapter is step forward in time again… its set right around the time that Alice Carer and Ella "Harkness" meet for lunch.

I've been thinking about what might have convinced Lucia, Alice's mother, that Jack was so dangerous. It seemed that it had to be more than vanity or being faced with her own mortality, because at one time she must have loved him enough to have a child with him. For most women, at least, that's not a casual decision (doubly so for a Torchwood employee, I'd imagine.) So something must have happened to convince her she needed to not only leave Torchwood, but Jack as well…

Additional note...it was recently pointed out by one of my wonderful regular readers that apparently no one on the other side of the Atlantic uses stove top tea kettles any more. Thank yoU! I'm making the correction in light of that fact. It's not a huge deal story-wise, of course, but I do appreciate the cultural inaccuracy being pointed out so I can fix it. While many people use electric kettles over here in the US, just as many of us use the stove top kind as well.

* * *

**Chapter Seventy Nine**

**"Give Sorrow Words"**

**(April 2010)**

* * *

_A divorce is like an amputation;  
you survive, but there's less of you._

Margaret Atwood

"_Give sorrow words.  
The grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart,  
and bids it break."_

William Shakespeare

* * *

Waking up to a cold empty bed wasn't the least bit unusual, although sometimes Ianto Jones-Harkness wished that were. However, most nights he rolled over, snagged Jack's pillow, pulling it up close to his chest, his nose, so he could inhale that wonderful smell of his husband's and dozed back off without a second thought. Once in a while he got up, checked on the kids, went downstairs, got himself a glass of water or warm milk. He always found Jack in the same place, the sitting room/office—not that it was supposed to have served as an office for long, now that they had the Hub back up and running, but Jack seemed to have adopted it as such. Some battles weren't worth fighting. That was why Ianto never nagged at him to come back to bed; he simply accepted the fact that Jack didn't sleep as much as he did. It had bothered him in the beginning, but not any more. Not most nights, at least.

But when he found Jack sitting on the settee instead of at his desk, drinking pale, milky tea instead of coffee, looking at an old photo album instead of a mountain of paperwork, he knew something was wrong. It was the photo album he'd shown his mother before she went to meet with Alice, the one from the seventies with pictures of his now forty year old daughter from when she was just a little girl. His eyes were red rimmed, blood shot. His cheeks were blotchy. He glanced up as his husband approached, looking startled by his appearance in the sitting room door. "Hey," he seemed to be trying to sound as if he hadn't been crying. It was a failing effort.

"Your tea must be cold," said the younger man in a neutral tone, instead of asking any of the hundred and one questions Jack had expected him to ask.

"How…?"

"I know everything, remember?" the other quipped with a wan smile. He picked up Jack's teacup; as predicted, the sides of the cup were ice cold.

"You don't have to—" the Captain started to protest, but his partner merely shrugged and took the cup into the kitchen to warm it up for him. Jack hated cold tea even more than he hated cold coffee.

In the kitchen, Ianto turned the kettle back to 'on'. He was surprised when just a moment later his partner padded up behind him him, wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him tight against him—well, maybe he shouldn't have been surprised, he realized. Even though things seemed to be going really well with Alice, Jack had been…withdrawn, Ianto supposed was the best way to describe it. It was like he was treading on glass, waiting for his daughter to withdraw the tentative olive branch she'd extended back at Christmas, _expecting_ her too.

_Maybe it has to do with whatever really happened between him and Alice's Mam,_ the younger man mused, not for the first time. Ever since he'd learnt about Lucia, more things about his partner had begun to make sense. He wasn't just afraid of being left because he knew he would outlive everybody, he was afraid of being left because he had been left. He'd had his whole world ripped out from under him by someone he'd trusted. Someone he'd loved.

Ianto held Jack's arms tight.

"I—I hope—I know I don't always do a good job of showing it, Ianto, but I love you," his voice was strained, warm against the younger man's neck; his lips brushed against his skin. "I appreciate you. I…I love _this_. I know we fought about the house, but I—I love it here."

"I know that, Jack," he assured him. "And you do a good job of showing it," he added. "I love it here too. I love living with you."

"Sometimes…I guess…I'm...I… I know I don't always tell you the things you need to hear. I never got—I'm not very good at being somebody's husband." _I never got the chance…_

"Yes you are." He turned in the other's arms and pressed a soft kiss to his lips before breaking away to pour the freshly heated water from the kettle into Jack's cup. He poured a cup for himself as well. "I meant what I said about not leaving you, Cariad," he added over his shoulder.

"You don't have stay up—"

Ianto shrugged. "I'm awake. I want tea," he explained simply, reaching for a teabag from the tin. Jack got the milk and sugar for them, then followed Ianto back into the sitting room.

"Do you want to talk about it?" the Welshman asked after they'd settled themselves back onto the settee. He pulled his legs up under him, propping his elbows up on his knees, his cup cradled in his hands while the teabag steeped. It was orange jasmine; Jack was drinking the same. He didn't even know that the older man fancied the stuff.

He didn't answer right away. He didn't drink his tea, either.

"What happened between you and Alice's mother?" Ianto prompted, making the effort to keep his tone soft. Neutral.

Jack shrugged, sipped his tea. Set the cup down. Ianto knew the story. "She told me to stay away," he said anyway. "So I did."

"Why?"

He blinked. He knew… but… "she was afraid of me," he told him.

"What happened?"

"I—I don't know," he lied, turning away from the younger man.

"Talk to me, Cariad. I know you're still having nightmares—"

"They have nothing to do with Lucia," he lied again. It was only half a lie. Only half of his nightmares had to do with her, with Ianto leaving him the same way she had, taking Seren and Jason with him. The other half of his nightmares were still centred on the 456, on what could have happened if just one or two things had gone differently, on how easy it would have been to lose any one of his team that day. Losing any of them would killed him, but if it had been his husband… he swallowed, but the lump in his throat remained.

He could still hear the screams of all those people who had died because of him that day, his arrogance. They all had families too, husbands, wives, children. Sometimes he found himself laying awake in bed at night wondering why Ianto _hadn't _left him after that day, why anybody would stand by him after that, after everything he'd learned that week.

"I feel like you're shutting me out again," his Welshman's soft voice pulled him up from the misery of his thoughts.

"I'm not," he said, maybe a little too quickly. "I don't mean to," he amended.

The younger man reached over and took his hand into his. "So talk to me, Jack. Tell me what you're thinking. Let me help you."

"You can't…no one can help…"

"I can at least listen," he offered.

"I—that day…everything that could have gone wrong…everything that did go wrong."

"You can't blame yourself for that, Jack."

"Why not? It was my fault," he said bitterly. But Ianto didn't pull away. Jack did, but only so he could reach for his cup, drink his tea. He leant forward, flipping the page of the photo album to the last page, the last birthday party he got to celebrate with his little girl… Ianto sat with him, patiently waiting for him to speak again.

"I loved her—both of them," he said of the picture of mother and daughter, leaning over an ill-made pink frosted birthday cake. It was the only picture he'd ever kept of Luce…she'd been a terror in the kitchen, but she'd insisted on making their daughter's birthday cake. It had tasted fine, it was just lopsided, a fact she'd tried to disguise with the frosting.

He cast a sidelong glance at his partner for a reaction to his statement about loving her. There was none. He just nodded, took it in stride, just like he took most things. In fact, the last time they'd had any sort of harsh words over former lovers had been over Henry, and that had been short lived.

"How did you meet?" was all Ianto asked him.

"Torchwood. She joined in '67. She was amazing," he couldn't help but smile at the memory. She had been so beautiful, so very, very full of life. "She made me feel…alive again. I hadn't felt anything in so long," he tried to explain, but again, if Ianto thought anything, was jealous, angry, it didn't show.

"That was just a few years after your first encounter with the 456," he observed instead.

He didn't answer, he just stared into his cup. It was empty. He didn't remember drinking the last of it.

"Jack, I can't imagine how you got through that. I know you, how guilty you must have felt."

"They gave us the vaccine. It worked. I tried to convince myself we'd never see them again, that it was worth it. Twelve lives to save millions..."

"You didn't believe it, though, did you? You knew they'd be back."

"Yeah. But then a year passed. Two. Three. Lucia came into my life… I forgot… I guess that makes me sound like some kind of monster."

"You're not a monster, Jack, you're just a man doing the best you can to muddle through, exactly like the rest of us."

"Sometimes…sometimes I don't know what I am."

"I do," the younger man said with enough confidence to convince them both.

He faced him at last. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he pressed a soft kiss to the other's lips, not missing the way that Jack hesitated, still seeming uncertain of himself. Of them. Probably of everything. "So what happened?" he coaxed, gently, more certain than ever that whatever it was, he needed to hear it, if only because Jack needed to talk about it.

The immortal shrugged. Looked away again.

"Jack, talk to me. Don't shut me out. Please—"

"What's there to say?" He couldn't help the bitterness in his tone. "We started seeing each other, I moved into her flat—"

"You left the Hub?" he asked, surprised.

The other shrugged again, still looking uncomfortable. "I didn't always live there, you know. At first…well, it wasn't like I had anywhere else to go. Plus I think the girls—Alice and Emily—wanted me where they could keep an eye on me. There hadn't been a whole lot of trust back then."

Ianto nodded. Torchwood had been a very different place a hundred years ago when Emily Holroyd was in charge—not that she was any different from any of her predecessors.

"After a while they must have figured I meant it when I said I had nowhere to go," the other went on. "And anyway, you know Laura and I had a house."

Ianto reminded him that his and Laura's home had been out in the country and by his own admission, Jack had hardly lived there.

"When she died I moved back into the Hub," his tone was weighted down with grief.

"I'm sorry." He hadn't meant to bring up something else painful for the older man. He gave his hand a squeeze.

Jack squeezed back. "It was a long time ago. I figured it was safer to move back—wouldn't want any of our friends seeing me alive and well after attending my funeral."

"I suppose that would have proven awkward."

He flashed just a bare ghost of a smile. He leant in closer to his partner, glad of the company. The warmth. _Everything. _His smile faltered. "You know… if you ever… I mean… I could handle you leaving me," he lied. "But…Seren…" _please just promise me…_

"Jack, I'm not going to leave you. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever."

"Lucia said the same thing. Not in those words but she told me she loved me, she wanted to be with me. I told her…I told her _everything_, Yan. I told her where I was from, when, about the Doctor…Rose…all of it." He'd told her more, in less time…but Ianto's hands were still in his, he was still holding on tight. "I never lied about who I was. She told me she was ok with that. With me. And then…she left me. She told me she loved me but then she left and she took our daughter with her."

"Nobody really knows what's going to happen tomorrow, Jack, you're right," he agreed. "But I cannot think of anything you could ever do or say that would make me want to leave you. And even if…no," he shook his head. "There is _nothing_ that could make me leave."

"Sweetheart…"

"There isn't. But even if there were, I could never take your daughter away from you, Jack. I know how much you love her. How much you love me. Jason. All of us. I love you too, with all my heart. That's why I'll never leave you." But he could see Jack didn't believe him, not fully. He was afraid to. Lucia had said the same things—maybe not in those words but had told him she loved him. She must have meant it. She must have given him so much hope, so much promise, _just a little slice of normal…_ and it must have killed Jack when she took it all away again. "How long were you two together?" he asked his partner.

"Six years. Alice was five. I…" he glanced down at the photo album again. "I loved them both so much, Ianto. I would have done anything…but… was I wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Should I have fought with Luce? Should I—"

"Shhh," Ianto gathered him into his arms. "You never could have fought her Cariad, it's not who you are. You stayed away because she asked you to. You respected her wishes. It takes a stronger man to do that, a better man…look at the shit Nerys is going through with JP. You did the right thing. I'm sure Alice understands that now."

"I think she still hates me for it."

"She doesn't hate you, Jack."

"She asked me…she called a couple of days ago and she asked me why her mother…she wants to know what really happened."

"What did you tell her?"

"I said I'd meet her for lunch today, but I still don't know what I'm going to say. I'm not sure I can tell her..." he shook his head. How could he tell her what had really happened?

"Why don't you try telling me first…thing of it as a dry run," he suggested to his husband's questioning expression. "Sometimes it does help to get through it once, Jack. Maybe it'll help you figure out what you really want to say to her."

Reluctantly, the older man nodded. It did make a certain amount of sense. "I…I… Lucia and I… we…" he cleared his throat and stood up. "More tea," he explained to the other man's inquisitive, askance, look.

Ianto nodded, snagged up his own cup, following him into the kitchen. He waited patiently, but it didn't take Jack long to start telling the story, although it lacked his usual flair, the usual glimmer in his eyes and expansive hand gestures.

"We got a call about a couple of dead city workers in the sewers—we didn't know back then how many Weevils were living under Cardiff," he began, as he refilled the electric kettle and turned it on. "We'd only been able to study a handful of them and…mostly that was through dissection. Nobody was asking questions about Weevil behaviour. Maybe if we'd understood more…" he shrugged. It was over thirty years ago, people thought differently back then, even him. "Al—Alain Yepp, he was the head of Torchwood Three back then—I'm sure he wouldn't have sent us both out to investigate if he'd had any idea what he was sending us into."

"You were both Torchwood agents, Jack. Of course he would have."

"Al wasn't like that. We had a good team back then, like the one we have now—a little smaller, maybe, but everybody was dedicated to the job, to protecting the planet," he almost scoffed at the way that sounded. He'd had such lofty ideals himself just thirty years ago. "Al tried to keep Luce out of the field as much as he could after Alice was born. But that day everyone else was off on something else, so Lucia came with me to investigate when we heard that a couple of city workers had been found mutilated in the sewers. We didn't know a whole pack of Weevils could go rogue and start killing people. We'd never encountered more than one or two at a time, we just…we didn't know. I didn't know."

"Jesus, Jack," he breathed, stepping in closer, his hand coming to rest on his partner's hip. Jack reached down, twined his fingers into his, but he didn't make eye contact. "What happened?" Ianto asked him.

He closed his eyes a long moment. "There were six of them, and…and I knew there was no way we could both survive. I told Luce to get the hell out of there, I'd distract them, give her time to get away. I don't think I lasted ten minutes. I…I didn't even know… I didn't know she'd made it until the next day when I came back."

The young Welshman tightened his grip. The kettle was finally hot, but they both ignored it for a second more. Finally Jack broke away, poured the hot water while Ianto got the milk from inside the fridge, the sugar from on top of it. He dumped two teaspoons of sugar into each of their cups. Jack poured the milk, put it away, reached for the sugar. Ianto handed it to him. Neither even noticed how easily they worked together, how smoothly. How unconsciously.

"Alain and Freddie came out later to pick up the pieces," the Captain went on. "There wasn't much left, but they brought what they could find of me back to the Hub and Alain sent everybody home. I don't think he wanted Luce to see. She was convinced I wasn't coming back."

"She must have seen you die before," if they'd been together for six years…

"Yeah, but…but not from something like that." He followed Ianto back into the sitting room. When his partner sat back down on the settee, looked up at him, made his invitation clear…those beautiful blue grey eyes. God, he never wanted to forget how handsome Ianto was, how much he loved him… he sat down. "Freddie—Fredekkah Wilson-Waterhouse," he clarified, doubting that anyone else but him had ever called her Freddie (at least not and lived to tell about it). "She sat with me all night, kept me sedated when I… while my body…" he sipped his tea but it did little to warm him. The memories of waking up in that bunker, after having been killed in the bomb that destroyed the Hub, was still too close to the surface.

But the man sitting next to him seemed to understand. He held him. He didn't ask questions. He just…Jack looked at him. He saw nothing but understanding in those eyes. Where Lucia had looked at him with the kind of horror even two thousand years couldn't erase from his memory, his husband… there was nothing but love in Ianto's eyes. Nothing but pain because he hated it when he died, hated it when he hurt.

"Freddie sat with me so I wouldn't wake up all alone. She told me what had happened, told me that Lucia was fine, just shaken up. She made sure…she was a good friend," he drank some more of his tea. "The only thing she didn't do was cut the internal security cameras. I don't think she expected anybody would want to see that."

"My God—Lucia—?"

He nodded. "The next day she came into the Hub and there I was only…" only she hadn't greeted him the way Ianto did after Abbadon, after he'd been dead for three days. She'd looked at him with suspicion in her eyes…fear. He remembered…how clearly he remembered. "I'm not sure when she looked at the tapes, but she… she told me that…that no human could have survived what I had. She knew, I told her, she knew I couldn't die, but…she was afraid of me, Yan."

He pulled Jack closer and held him tight, remembering the way the older man had looked after they'd rescued him from the bunker, the uncertainty on his face. He'd assumed it was just the fear of 'what next', wondering how long he'd been stuck in that block of concrete, what had happened and who was coming for him, but now Ianto understood. He'd been afraid that he would reject him the way Alice's mother had, that he would be afraid of him.

"The only thing I'm ever afraid of is that some day you might not come back, Cariad," he whispered softly into his partner's ear. "Every time you die…I'm always so afraid of losing you. I know you keep saying you can't die," he said, before Jack could. "But I'm always terrified that the next time will be the time you run out of whatever it is that makes you the way you are. I never want to lose you, Jack." And that fear made him acutely aware of how much it hurt his husband to know he would outlive them all. "I never want to lose you and I will never, ever leave you."

"Never's an awful long time," he tried to laugh, but it didn't work.

Ianto didn't laugh, he just held him tighter. "Yeah," he agreed. "It is."

* * *

_Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased.  
Nor is it etched on stone, for stone can be broken.  
But it is inscribed on a heart and there it shall remain forever.  
_Author Unknown


	80. A Lot To Be Thankful For pt 1

**A/N:**

In order to write a Thanksgiving story the way I wanted to, I had to jump ahead to 2010, because the potential of pandemonium wouldn't be complete without Alice and Steven… just the same, it also wouldn't be complete without some explanation as to how it all started… so I give you first a short prologue of sorts…

* * *

**Chapter Eighty:  
A Lot To Be Thankful For (pt 1.)**

Forever on Thanksgiving Day  
The heart will find the pathway home.  
~Wilbur D. Nesbit

* * *

**November, 2009**

"_We've certainly got enough to be thankful for," Ella Harkness gave her son in law a reproachful glare when he continued his argument against her plan. It had been just over two months since the 456 were defeated, sent back to wherever it was they came from with their proverbial hands empty and tails between their legs, having discovered that humanity would not tolerate terrorism…or at least that Torchwood wouldn't. The whole world may not know what Torchwood had done for them, they may not know everything that had happened that week, but she knew. Ianto knew. They knew exactly what it had cost them—what it could have cost them—how much they had to be grateful for. She didn't care how immortal her son was supposed to be, he'd died. Horribly. He'd come back. He'd helped the very people who had killed him, tried to kill his partner, his friends. People who probably would have taken Jason away from them if they'd ever figured out that something was keeping him from being affected by the 456—Ella's best guess was that in three thousand years the human brain had simply changed enough that their signal didn't touch him. It wasn't as if they would have known to compensate for someone not from this time. _

"_But you're __**not**__ American, Ella," Ianto tried in vain to dissuade her of the notion of having an 'old fashioned American Thanksgiving feast'. It wasn't that he was opposed to the holiday; as holidays went, it seemed fine enough, especially this year when they did have a lot to be thankful for. _

_No, it was the idea of bringing his entire family over to their home for a meal that he was opposed to, the idea of including Jack's great grandson because 'he was family after all' (Ella's words on the subject) and didn't really have anybody else, never mind that Jack was trying to keep Shane from figuring out exactly how they were related. It wasn't going so well. The young man had yet to put two and two together, but after Jack offered him a job working for Martha, he had started to ask uncomfortable questions. _

"_You were the one who told your family we were from Illinois and I was a…what was it, a hippie?" she inquired, her tone telling him exactly what she thought of that comparison. Just because she wasn't some sexually repressed cavewoman… _

"_I'm sorry about that," he apologized again. "And Jack was the one who said you were from Illinois," he added, as if that somehow made a difference. He knew by her expression that it didn't. "Cooking a dinner like that is a big job, Ella," he tried to reason with her. "There's… turkey and potatoes and…" he racked his brain trying to remember what all Americans included in their annual commemoration of the first colonists surviving, befriending the natives—natives they would eventually try to exterminate. He'd recently had this discussion with Tim—not the extermination of the Native Americans part, just the bit about Thanksgiving dinner. Apparently Timothy's mother was a very good cook and he was missing her. Tim was a bit uncertain what Abby had planned for them—and a bit frightened. Under Sara's influence, indirect as it had been, Abby had abandoned nearly all forms of meat all together. _

_However, Thanksgiving dinner was , Ianto reckoned, similar to a Christmas dinner. In fact, he had no doubt that Jack would want to include his favourite Christmas foods as well, which would only make the meal that much more work and he knew full well who would be stuck with the cleanup. _

"_Yes, I looked it up online," Ella told him sagely. "Pumpkin pie and stuffed turkey, cranberry sauce, baked sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes and cornbread muffins—and this green bean casserole thing made with mushroom soup and French onions—I'm not entirely certain what they are, but I'm sure you can help me find what I need."_

_Ianto cursed the Internet. But there was no arguing with her and he knew it. It was quite obvious where Jack had gotten his stubborn streak from: his mother. _

"_Of course we should have over Timothy and Abby," Ella went on. "And Sara and that fiancé of hers—I'm sure __**they'll**__ appreciate an American dinner."_

"_Sara's a vegetarian," he reminded her._

"_Well I'm sure she'll appreciate the rest of it."_

"_It's not that I don't appreciate the idea, Ella," he tried to tell her. "It's just… do we really have to invite my __**entire**__ family?" if they could make it just Mam, Nerys and Remy…maybe Dafydd… _just **not** Cade_. He didn't honestly even want to see Gavin; they hadn't spoken much since September, since he told him he worked for Torchwood and hunted aliens for a living. He wasn't sure how to face his brother after that. It was much easier when they thought of him as someone frittering away his life working for the Tourist Bureau. He may have to deal with the occasional admonishment about wasting his life—although Jack made sure they knew he was important—but somehow that was easier to live with than the look Trea had given him when they visited in the weeks following the 456 attack. She'd seemed almost afraid of him, or at the very least, afraid to look him in the face. Like she didn't know who I was any more…_

"_You would rather we kept it small, wouldn't you?" Ella's tone was… sincere. Blessedly, thankfully, wonderfully sincere._

"_Please."_

_She smiled. She gave in. He breathed a sigh of relief. He was still left with a mountain of dishes to clean up…_

But that had been last year. This year there was no getting around it, Ella wanted his entire family to come out for her American holiday. To make matters worse, she invited Shane and Alice and Steven as well. And while he loved the idea of having Jack's family over because having them around made his partner so happy, he shuddered at the thought of trying to explain Alice to his…


	81. A Lot To Be Thankful For pt 2

**A/N:**

First of a HUGE thank you to everybody for your patience (and of course for all the lovely reviews!!) Last week was over all really stinky. This week will probably be up and down… I'm hoping that writing will get me through ;-)

So…this has taken an interesting turn, quite possibly in response to goings on in my own life, but regardless the Muses were tap dancing this morning and this was the result:

* * *

**Chapter Eighty One:  
A Lot To Be Thankful For (pt 2.)****  
November, 2010**

"_The secret is to make sure your family comes before anything else,  
because no matter what you do you've got to come home."_

Barry Gibb

* * *

Alice Carter examined herself in the mirror over the bathroom sink. She wasn't entirely satisfied with what she saw. It wasn't just the crow's feet, the new grey hairs. She hadn't slept as well last night as she might have liked to. The reason for her insomnia was silly—or so she tried to tell herself. She'd never been to her father's house before. He and his partner had invited her, of course, but the one time she'd worked herself up to accepting, something had come up at the last minute. She remembered the sound of the hurt disappointment in father's voice when she rang him to say she had to cancel. He was sure it was just an excuse. It wasn't, but she would be lying if she'd said that she wasn't grateful to have the out. Just like today, she'd woken up that day with a stomach full of nerves.

"Mum—!" Steven hollered at her from the other side of the closed bathroom door. "We're going to be late!"

Alice knew that her son had been just as disappointed as his grandfather the day she'd had to cancel their plans to go to his and Ianto's for supper. More than disappointed, he'd been angry with her; she was seeing more and more anger out of him lately. She supposed she didn't really blame him, not with everything they'd gone through as a family the past couple of years. Her ex certainly wasn't any help.

"I'll just be another minute," she called back to her son, surveying herself one last time in full length mirror on the back of the door. She was wearing the sea-green cashmere sweater her father had given her for her birthday last month. He had signed the card in both his and Ianto's name (another first). Even though she knew her father's partner helped him when it came to buying gifts, he hadn't put his name on anything before the sweater. She wasn't even sure it had been his idea to have his name on the card. It would certainly seem in character from what she had seen for Ianto not to take the credit for something that was essentially his, and truth be told, she saw the quiet Welshman's hand more than she saw her father's in the sweater. The colour was flattering and the fit was just right. She gave herself a last look in the mirror. She was as ready as she would ever be.

Her father's partner had insisted that he honestly meant it when he said casual, he would be wearing jeans himself. He'd sworn to her (at her insistence) that everybody except her father would be in jeans and sweaters, nothing fancy, just supper. She took a breath and let it out. Just supper with him and her Dad, Dad's Mum, Ianto's mother, his brothers and sister and whatever it was Shane Bruster was to her as well. Not that Shane knew her father was his great grandfather. As far as he was concerned, they were merely distant relatives. But she knew. Shane was a little older than Ianto, a little under fifteen years her junior, and yet he was her father's _great_ grandson.

"Mum!"

"Enough," she said as she opened the door. "Even if we are late, they're not going to start without us," she told him, taking a more sharp tone than she'd intended. She knew how much Steven loved his 'Uncle Jack', how much it had meant to him—to both of them—to get to spend time together. She couldn't deny that she loved seeing the way Steven's face lit up when her father was around. _Dad's too…_ they were good for each other, especially lately. She straightened her son's bangs and forced a smile. "I'm just nervous," she found herself admitting.

"Why?"

"I don't really know Ianto's family, now do I?" she asked, struggling to keep her tone neutral. "We've only met his sister," and at that, only briefly, a little over a year ago.

They headed down the stair; she handed Steven the plate of pigs in a blanket she'd made to take. Both Ianto and Ella had insisted that dinner was covered, that she didn't need to make anything, but it would be one less thing for them to worry about and really, they were her father's favourite. _Besides, how much could a woman who grew up on bloody Mars know about pigs in a blanket, anyway?_ she mused acerbically, although she didn't really mean to be bitter.

Sometimes Alice wished that her life could be a just little more normal… _how must Ianto feel? _She wondered_…_ but he'd asked for this life. He'd known what he was getting himself into when he asked her father to marry him. She hadn't had the option for normal.

"Mum," Steven began in an uncharacteristically cautious tone, as she was locking up the front door behind them. He waited until he knew he had her full attention before continuing. "How come Uncle Jack never invited us over before?"

"He did, don't you remember—?"

"No, I mean before that. How come…how come we never got to see him before this last year?" he wanted to know.

"He came by all the time!"

"No he didn't! He hardly _ever _came over. And he never told me he had a boyfriend and he didn't invite us to the wedding and he never said he had a son even though Jason was living with him!" His words tumbled out faster and faster, tone pitched somewhere between hurt and anger. "Cardiff isn't that far away," he added—Alice could see the question her son was afraid to ask. _Does he really love us…?_

She took a deep breath and let it out. They'd had a similar conversation about his father just a few weeks ago; it had been a lot easier to explain that his father still loved him, that she still loved him, but that the two of them just didn't love each other any more. As difficult as divorce was, it was 'normal'.

Alice slid her arm around her son's shoulders as they crossed the street to her car. "I told your Uncle Jack not to come," she admitted quietly, unable to hide just how guilty she felt—not really trying to hide it. She knew how much they loved each other. And she'd known for a long time that eventually Steven was going ask about why, for the first ten years of his life, his 'Uncle' had hardly been around. Her father had said that she could blame him if she wanted to, she could tell Steven he hadn't wanted to come by or that he was too busy, but that wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to either of them; they both deserved her honesty.

"But…you got mad at him for missing my birthday," Steven was saying, clearly confused by her confession.

"I didn't tell him not to come that day, something really did come up, something important. But all the other times… he would have come by every week if I'd let him. Every day. He loves you—he loves both of us—so very much."

"How come you didn't want him to come around, then?"

"I…" she didn't have an answer, so she just hit the button on her keychain to unlock the car doors. Steven didn't get in.

"How come, Mum? You don't have any problem with Rhianna's mums."

She knelt down so she could look him directly in the eye. "It's not that, Sweetheart. I don't care that your Uncle Jack is… that he's bisexual." It was an easier term for her son to understand than, 'omnisexual.'

"Then is it what Charlie Watson said?" Steven wanted to know.

"Charlie Watson?" she wondered what exactly the boy down the street had to do with anything.

"He thinks you and Uncle Jack were lovers but you had a fight and now you didn't want to see him, but I said he was a liar you never cheated on Dad, he cheated on you and that's why you're not married any more, not because of Uncle Jack," he was on the verge of tears. "And Dad doesn't love me," he added. "If he did he would at least try to be around. He doesn't even try. Unless… you didn't tell him to stay away, too…?" he asked, sounding very much as if he was afraid of the answer.

"No, Sweetheart, of course not. Your father… it's complicated Steven, but he _does _love you." She tugged gently at his lapels. "What I'd like to know is what gave you and Charlie an idea like that about me…about anyone?" They were just children, they shouldn't have thoughts like that.

"It wasn't my idea, it was Charlie's!"

"All right," she took another deep breath, trying to get a better hold of herself. "You're right, I never cheated on your father and whatever he did… it isn't any of your business. It certainly isn't Charlie Watson's."

He gave her a dark look; clearly he _did_ think it was his business. "So why don't you like Uncle Jack?" he changed the subject anyway. "And please don't say 'it's complicated'," he begged her. "You're always saying that. It isn't fair."

Alice forced a smile. "I suppose not. And I do like your Uncle Jack—I love him. I love him very much," she fought back the tightness in her throat. "It is complicated, Steven…but… I'll try to explain on the way, ok? You were right, we really are going to be late as it is."

"Do you _promise_ to explain?" he asked warily.

"Yes. But you have to promise something too."

Slowly, hesitantly, he nodded.

"All right," she stood back up and took the platter from him so he could settle into the car. "Jason is a little younger than you," she began, "and there are some things…some things your Uncle Jack isn't ready to tell him. You have to be able to respect that. Ok?"

He nodded again.

"All right." She handed him back the plate and went around to the drivers' side of the car; before she got in, she rang her father, grateful for once that she got his voicemail instead of him. She glanced over her shoulder to see Steven watching her. The windows were up; he shouldn't be able to hear. She kept her voice down anyway. "Dad, it's me," she said into her mobile. "I'm about to have that talk with Steven. I wanted you to know. I love you. I mean that, Dad. I—I'm glad… it's good to have you in our lives, Dad. We'll be there in about an hour." Alice hung up quickly and switched the ringer off. She swiped the moisture off her cheeks and slid into the driver's seat. "Ready?"

"Mum…."

"Just… let's get under way, all right? It takes long enough to get there. We have plenty of time to talk, I promise."


	82. A Lot To Be Thankful For pt 3

**Chapter Eighty Two:  
A Lot To Be Thankful For (pt 3.)**

"_Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?'  
Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"_

Charles M. Schultz

* * *

Laughing, Jack helped Shane up off his living room floor; he shot an apologetic look over his shoulder to his partner, who merely shook his head at them. Shane straightened the coffee table back into place and Jack picked up the poinsettia that had fallen off it. "I ah—" he looked guiltily down at the pile of dirt that had come out of the pot. "I'll get this."

"I'm sure you will," Ianto told him in a stern tone. He retreated back to the (relative) sanctuary of the kitchen leaving Jack to finish tidying up. Mostly his hasty retreat was meant to hide the fact that he was laughing too, but it would do his reputation no good if Jack realized it. Watching the two of them wresting around the way they had been warmed him (despite the disarray that having two grown men scuffling about on the lounge floor brought to the room). His smile deepened, however. More than anything, he loved moments like this, moments of utter normality. _Just as long as one doesn't think too hard that Jack is his great grandfather… _

"I swear, they're like a pair little kids when they get together," Ella grumbled when he came back into the kitchen; she was smiling, too.

"Exactly what I was thinking," the Welshman agreed, continuing to keep up the pretence of being grumpy at them (despite the fact that he was pretty sure he wasn't fooling anybody).

He moved over to where Jason was making a complete disaster of the chocolate chip cookies he was trying to drop into evenly sized, more or less round globs on the baking sheets… "Here, how about a hand?" he offered. Much like his Papa, Jason was a terror in the kitchen; but just like Jack, he loved to cook. And while Ianto was certain the cookies would taste all right—it was his Mam's recipe and they'd followed it to the letter—but there was still something to be said for presentation.

The boy scooched over to give his Tad space to work.

"At the rate you're going, you're going to need another bath," Ianto teased him. He slid the apron back on over his head; last year Gwen had thought it would be cute to get them matching _his _and_ his_ cooking aprons for their anniversary. As much as he'd had to force the smile he gave her when they opened the packages, he had to admit that he much preferred these to Jack's 'kiss the cook' apron, complete with a rather colourful indication of where the cook would like to be kissed…

It wasn't until after Jack had put the vacuum back into the hall closet that he realized his phone had rung at some point during the 'skirmish' with his great grandson. He'd managed to get it out of his pocket and onto the safety of the mantel before wrestling Shane to the ground. He didn't even remember what exactly had started it… his smile faltered, and some of the warmth died away, when he saw his daughter's number on the little display on the top of his mobile. Taking a deep breath and resigning himself to the inevitable, that she was cancelling again, he flipped it open and hit the button to replay the message she'd left…

* * *

Steven waited patiently until his Mum had gotten them onto the motorway before giving over a very expectant look. "You promised, Mum," he reminded her. In all his life, she'd never broken a promise to him.

"I know. But… you've got to try and understand that there are some things that are difficult to explain, Sweetheart. This is—it is complicated," she told him again.

He gave her a look.

"I just want you to understand that sometimes adults do things that—that we regret later on. Things that seem right in the moment but then afterwards we're not so sure about because sometimes it's hard to tell right from wrong. You're a big boy, I know you're old enough to understand that," she favoured him with a soft smile. He looked so like his father… but he had her father's eyes. His dimples. Even his chin. "I know you've done things you wish you hadn't, right?"

He nodded. There were plenty of things he'd done that he felt bad about later, but they were all accidents…or… well, he supposed they weren't exactly accidents, but he knew the difference between right and wrong, it was just that sometimes stuff happened, like getting caught passing a note in class or that one time he'd let Charlie cheat off his paper on a test. He was never doing _that _again, even though Charlie was his best friend and both Mum and Uncle Jack always said that friends helped each other out. Apparently that was on of those complicated things where it seemed maybe right at the time but afterwards he knew it had been a mistake.

"Things don't get any easier when you get older, Steven," his mother was saying. "In fact, it just gets harder."

"Because everything is so complicated?"

Alice couldn't help but laugh, just a little. "Yes. Because everything is so complicated."

"How come?"

"I suppose…I suppose I don't really know to be honest," she admitted. "Although in this family things are always a little more difficult than with everybody else."

"What's different about us?"

"Your… Jack."

He frowned. She always called him his 'Uncle' Jack. "Why does Uncle Jack make it difficult?"

"Oh, he doesn't do it on purpose," she told him quickly. "He is…he's an incredible man, Steven. An incredible father."

His frown deepened. He knew by her tone that she wasn't really talking about Uncle Jack being Jason's father… but… she said that Charlie was wrong, that her and Uncle Jack didn't have _That Kind_ of a relationship. Steven knew his Mum, he knew she would never cheat on anybody and she would never lie, not about anything big or important anyway. He knew that every parent lied to their kids about some things, of course, but his Mum never had, at least not when he asked her directly. She had told him where babies came from and that fairies were real but they weren't at all like it said in storybooks, they weren't cute or nice or friendly, and he believed her because she was his Mum and she had _never _lied to him, not even when he'd asked her if Father Christmas was really real or not… but Charlie Watson said that his Uncle Jack was probably really his father and that was the real reason Dad never came around to see him, it was why he didn't really love him, why he probably never had. Charlie said that was the whole reason his parents had gotten a d-i-v-o-r-c-e—Charlie's Mum made him spell it out. She said it was a horrible word and didn't want to hear it.

"Steven?"

He swallowed. Nodded. "I'm listening, Mum," he promised her. Whatever it was, he wanted to know the truth even though it was making Mum cry (and even though she was trying to pretend that she wasn't.)

"Jack isn't your uncle, Sweetheart, he's not just my friend. Jack Harkness is my father, Steven. That makes him your grandfather."

……………………………………………

"Cariad?" Ianto asked; Jack had wandered into the kitchen carrying his phone. He looked like somebody had punched him in the gut. "Jack?"

"Sweetheart?" Ella asked him in an equally concerned tone. Shane was just behind him, but whatever it was, it was obvious he didn't have any more idea than the rest of them.

Jason gave over a worried look, glancing from one adult to another, looking for an explanation.

Finally, Jack cleared his throat. Shook himself. Met his son's gaze for half a second before turning to his mother. "I…erm… it's nothing to worry about," he forced a smile at her. Then he turned to his partner. "Ianto I…" but he didn't know what he wanted to say.

"Jack, what is it?" he pressed. He'd already dried his hands on a towel; he laid them gently on the older man's hips, turning him so he was focused on him instead of the rest of the room. "Talk to me, Cariad."

"I… here," he handed over the phone and went into the sitting room without another word.

He hadn't even noticed Shane following him into the kitchen, but when the young Irishman tried to follow further, a stern look from Ianto stopped him in his tracks. "I—erm…?" Shane floundered.

"You can help Jason finish up with the cookies," Ianto told him in a perfunctory tone. "And then see what Ella needs a hand with." He turned his back on them and replayed Jack's last voicemail message, even as he was setting up the coffee pot. He swallowed hard when he heard Alice's message. He waited just long enough to be able to get two cups of coffee out of the machine before joining his husband in the next room.

Jack was just sitting there, hands folded under his chin, staring off into space.

"Cariad?" he set one of the mugs down on the coffee table. He didn't even seem to see him. "Jack?"

"He's only eleven years old. Why—? Why would she…why now? Why today?"

"Something must have prompted it, Jack. You heard Alice's voice." She'd sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

"But…he's just eleven! He'll never understand—why _today _?"

"There must be a good reason, Cariad," Ianto settled himself down next to his husband. "Children are more clever than we usually give them credit for. Steven…he's a lot like you, a lot like Alice. He'll be all right."

He faced his partner at last. "But will he hate me?" he asked.

"Why would he hate you?"

"For lying to him all these years."

He gathered him up into his arms; Jack didn't resist. "He won't hate you, Jack," he assured him, holding on just a little tighter.

"I just got them back. I…" he couldn't lose them, not now. Not when everything seemed to finally be going just right. It wasn't fair.

"Shhh… Jack, you're not going to lose them. Alice said she was on her way. She's still coming, Cariad. She wants to be here. She loves you."

"But…"

"Everything will be all right. You'll see. Come on, why don't we see if they need a hand in the kitchen?"

"I—I can't," he said, not fully processing that Ianto had just asked him to help out in the kitchen. He never asked him to help in the kitchen if he could help it. "What about Jason?" he asked. If Steven knew, if he said something, what would his son think? _What about Shane?_

"One thing at a time, Cariad."

"I tried calling her back," he said then, "but it went straight to voicemail."

"Alice probably turned off her phone."

He nodded. Of course. That made perfect sense. Leave it to his Welshman.

"Jack, it'll be all right. Steven loves you. Even if he's angry, it won't last long," he promised.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I love you and even when I'm angry with you, it doesn't last long. And unlike your grandson, I know you _very _well."

The gentle teasing was enough to jar him out of the quagmire of miserable thoughts. "What's that supposed to mean?" he wanted to know.

Ianto snickered. "The list is entirely too long to get into right now," he continued to tease, heartened by the light coming back into his partner's face. "Now come on, your Mam could probably use a hand getting that so-called turkey out of the oven."

Jack laughed; he still remembered the look on Ianto's face when he'd brought the thing home from the butcher's shop. It was the biggest one they had… _big enough to feed a Judoon Platoon on the Moon,_ he had teased the younger man.

Ianto's response was to point out how very much that was sure to please Martha and Tom...

Jack leant in. The warmth of his partner's mouth on his was the most wonderful sensation in the world.

Then the doorbell rang.

"No rest for the wicked," Ianto pointed out. It was Nerys, Mickey, Remy and Ianto's Mam… Mickey's voice carried through out the whole house.

"I guess I'd better go play host," said Jack.

But his husband was shaking his head. "I'll go play host. Help your Mam. I'll try to keep mine out of the kitchen for as long as I can. No promises, though."

He chuckled. His tone however, was nothing but sincere. Warm. "Thank you." _I love you._

"You're welcome. And I love you too, Cariad. I'll love you forever."

Jack smiled. He didn't believe in forever, but he kissed him again anyway because someday moments like this were all he would have of this life.

Together they would get through the day and hopefully he would have one more good memory of Cardiff to hang onto… _forever._


	83. A Lot To Be Thankful For pt 4

**A/N:**

Thank you to everybody for the wonderful reviews! Thank you especially to **WickedWitchoftheSE** for the idea here at the beginning. Yes it was entirely too brilliant not to run with, thank you!!!

So much for holiday fluff.... oh well, this is the story the characters wanted me to tell... it's their fault ;-)

* * *

**Chapter Eighty Three:  
A Lot To Be Thankful For (pt 4.)**

"_What lies behind us  
and what lies before us  
are tiny matters  
compared to what lies within us."_

Ralph Waldo Emerson

* * *

Ianto forced a smile as he joined Shane and his family—and Mickey, who might as well be a member of his family—in the lounge. Jack's great grandson shot him a questioning look; he'd let their guests in and dutifully collected their coats to hang up in the closet. Apparently some traits weren't genetic (thank goodness).

However, as to the Irishman's silent inquiry, all Ianto could do was shake his head. Even if he could have told him the truth, he couldn't have told it to him with his mother and niece in the room.

"Everything all right, mate?" Mickey queried.

"You mean other than the pterodactyl sized turkey that almost doesn't fit in the oven?" he managed to joke.

"Oh dear," his Mam gave over a sympathetic grimace, remembering the previous year's bird. She _didn't _understand Remy's giggle or the look Mickey gave him—but she didn't question it, either. "Should I go and lend a hand then?" she inquired of her son in a brisk tone. She knew something was amiss as well as Mickey did, but it tended to be better for everybody when she feigned ignorance.

Ianto shook his head, "Jack and Ella have it sorted," he took the covered baking dish out of her hands and peaked under the tin foil. It looked like some sort of casserole that involved potatoes, spinach and carrots. "I did say not to bring anything, Mam," he said, trying not to wrinkle his nose.

"Yes, and I seem to recall telling you that on a regular basis, dear, and yet you always bring a dish," she reminded him, the warmth of her gaze taking the sting out of her tone. "I'll just put this in the kitchen," she took the dish back from him and plunged on through.

He sighed—even Mickey gave him a sympathetic look. Hopefully he'd at least bought his partner enough time to get himself back together. He had only seen Jack that shaken up once or twice before.

"What's going on?" Mickey clearly wasn't buying the 'everything is fine' routine. (Shane looked over expectantly as well.)

_Right_. "Remy, why don't you and Shane go help Jason finish up with the cookies," he suggested in a brisk tone that was an echo of the one his mother had used only a few moments before. Cookies were the best way to get his niece out of the room, and Shane seemed willing to oblige, but Ianto suspected he'd better come up with something to tell him, preferably sooner rather than later.

As soon as they were out of earshot, he leant towards Mickey and his sister, lowering his voice. "Jack got a call from Alice. Apparently she's decided to tell Steven about him. _Today_. They'll be here in less than an hour," he added.

Mickey swore under his breath. "Of all days, she had to pick _today _?" he wanted t know.

"Is Jack all right?" Nerys asked before Ianto could answer.

"I think so," the Welshman lied. He knew his sister would see the lie; Mickey saw it too, he was sure. But maybe if he kept telling himself it would be all right—if he kept telling Jack that it would be all right—maybe it would be. He hoped.

* * *

"You're lying!" Steven bawled at his mother.

"Steven—"

He jerked away from her outstretched hand so violently he nearly dumped the entire platter of pigs in a blanket onto the car floor. "Don't touch me!" He scrambled to get the plate back flat in his lap, pointedly refusing to look at her, pulling further away when she tried to lay a hand on his shoulder.

"Steven… Sweetheart… look at me…Steven, please," she implored, trying to look at him and the road at the same time. She wondered again if trying to have this discussion on the road had really been such a good idea after all. "Steven, I'm not lying. I've never lied to you."

"You told me Granddad was dead!" He folded his arms across his chest and continued staring straight ahead.

"I know, I'm sorry—"

"Gran said he was dead. She said he died before I was ever born. You said you didn't even have any pictures of him—you never even want to talk about him!" Tears welled up behind his eyes.

"I know I said all those things, Steven, but please…there was a reason."

He cast a brief sidelong glance at her, then returned his tearful gaze to the road.

"Steven, just listen, ok? Your Gran wanted you to believe that your Grandfather was dead because she didn't want you to know… she didn't want you to know about Jack Harkness at all. I—I didn't want you to know about him either, but it was hard because…because he's my father and I love him," she confessed softly. It would be easy to pin it all on her mother, but it wasn't her fault, not all of it. "Steven, all I can do is ask for you to forgive me," she said.

But all she got was silence.

"It seemed like the right thing to do at the time—I know that doesn't make any sense."

Tears trickled down his cheeks.

Watching her son cry was even harder than enduring his anger. "Steven, I'm sorry—"

"I don't believe you," he said. "Uncle Jack isn't old enough to be your dad. He's my dad, just like Charlie said. He's the reason Dad doesn't love me."

"Steven, listen to me, Jack _isn't_ your father. He's your grandfather. He isn't as young as he looks. He—he should be the one to tell you…" she swiped a hand across her cheeks to wipe away the moisture. "Jack and your Gran met in 1967. Her name was Lucia Moretti then, but she changed it after they split up—"

"Stop it!"

"I was born almost two years later—"

"_Stop!"_

"My name was Melissa—Mum changed it when we moved. She told him to get out, Steven, to stay away. She didn't want him anywhere near—"

"_**NO!" **_

"She was afraid of him, Steven."

He stopped sobbing long enough to look at her. "Why?" he asked in a frightened, miserable little tone. It broke his mother's heart to hear it.

"Because…because Jack Harkness isn't like the rest of us Sweetheart."

He blinked away the tears and wiped his nose with his mittened hand. "Are you afraid of him?" he didn't sound like he really wanted to hear the answer.

"No. No, never. I trust him more than I trust anybody else in this whole wide world, Sweetheart."

"Then how come you told him to stay away? How come you didn't want him around?"

"It was a mistake. I'm sorry, Steven."

He looked away again and stared ahead at the road.

"Steven?"

"I don't believe you—I don't believe any of it. You said Granddad was dead, so did Gran. You promised you'd never lie to me. So...so I'm never going to believe anything you ever tell me again!"

Alice resigned herself to her son's anger. His hatred. "Maybe we should go home," she said, mostly to herself, as she eased over towards the next exit so she could turn around, head back. As soon as they got home, she would call and apologize to her father… break his heart too.

"NO! MUM! _**PLEASE! **_You _can't_ make us go back home_._ I want to see Uncle Jack!" the tears were flowing again, falling faster and harder than ever. "I'll be good, I'll do whatever you say! I want to see Uncle Jack! **PLEASE!"**

Alice bit back her own tears. "All right," she told him, her voice soft. She didn't lay any conditions on her acquiescence.

She considered calling her father to warn him, but she didn't know what to say, so she just continued on towards the bridge into Wales…

* * *

"Jack?" Trea gave over a concerned look in her brother in law's direction. He didn't respond, he just checked his watch for perhaps the tenth time in as many minutes and peered anxiously out the front window again.

"Everything all right?" Gavin queried when Jack didn't answer her straight away. He, Trea and their children had arrived about half an hour after, Mam, Mickey and Remy—Cade and his lot had come in shortly thereafter. They were followed by the American couple, Tim and Abby, who worked with Jack and Ianto and then another couple he'd never met before, Martha and Tom. They were English, but apparently Martha worked for Jack and had found herself invited to his American holiday.

Dafydd was late, but that was to be expected. He was always running late, it seemed, at least when it came to anything involving Ianto and his partner. Gavin was beginning to wonder if it wasn't just a coincidence, but it didn't seem the time to bring it up. Everybody was walking on eggshells… or more like broken glass, he reckoned. But he was sure that if it was something…alien… Ianto would have told him. He still had a hard time looking his younger brother in the face after last year.

Jack glanced over at Trea and Gavin, startled by the latter's question. "Sure, everything's fine," even he didn't think he sounded convincing. "Why?"

"You've been pacing in front of that window for half an hour, love," Trea told him in a gentle tone; she shot a worried look over to Ianto. He ignored it.

Jack shoved his hands in his pockets. Rather than look at his watch or peer out the curtains again, he glanced in his Welshman's direction. One look at the younger man's face told that it was true. He'd been pacing. He wanted to say he was sorry, but he was afraid that would only draw more attention to the situation.

Alice should be there by then if she was really coming… but she would have called if she'd decided to go back home, if Steven didn't want to see him. If he…if they both hated him, and never wanted to see him again. Surely she would have called by now… _unless she got into an accident…_ he swallowed hard but the lump in his throat refused to go down and the knives continued to twist in his gut.

"Yeah, who is this Alice bird anyway?" Cade, in his infinite eloquence, asked then, breaking the silence but doing nothing for the tension level in the room. "Some old girlfriend?" he joked. Or rather, he thought it was a joke. Nobody was laughing.

Ianto shot him a dark glare; it reminded his oldest brother of the time he'd punched him square in the jaw over a flippant comment about his and Jack's ability to be good parents.

(Nerys leant over towards Shane, "Are you sure you're so keen on all this family business?" she whispered at him; he smiled in return. Of course he was. The good, the bad, the ugly… he just wished he knew what was eating at Jack, but a quick glance in Martha's direction told him she didn't know either and usually when it came to the Captain she knew almost as much as Ianto.)

Alice Jones cleared her throat. "Cade, why don't you go outside and see how Mickey and the kids are getting on." It wasn't a request. Cade had made it well known that as much as he disliked Ianto's choice of partners, he disliked Nerys' choices even more, because 'even if Harkness is a bloke, at least he he's not a Black'. No one but Cade himself had thought him witty when he said that last Christmas.

Nonetheless, much like Jack, it seemed as if Mickey Smith was there to stay. (It hadn't helped anybody's mood when Martha and Tom arrived and Cade blurted out 'oh look, another bloody zebra', the moment they walked through the door.)

"So what's this big news you have for us?" Ianto asked in Martha's direction, trying desperately to both alleviate some of the tension and draw attention away from the way his partner kept staring out the window. Cade, at least, had dutifully slunk off towards the backdoor and the garden beyond.

But before Martha could answer the question, Jack saw Alice's car round the corner and he was out the front door like a shot, leaving Ianto to make whatever excuses he could think of. A part of him felt guilty, but…he watched his daughter's car pull up to the curb across the street.

He waited for her to cut the engine.

She got out. She looked at him. He was barely aware that he was holding his breath.

Her expression was unreadable, but… he realized he was at the sidewalk. He didn't remember stepping off his own front porch.

And the passenger side door of Alice's car was still closed.

Jack watched his daughter lean back in on her side, say something to Steven. The boy didn't move.

Jack's heart fell to his shoes. He forced himself to cross the street, to face her—him. Whatever it was…Alice straightened at his approach:

"I'm sorry, Dad," her voice was strained.

"Alice…" _please…_ "Please don't—"

"I… I'm sorry," several tears loosed themselves form her control. "This was a mistake. I'm sorry."

"Alice, please," he reached for her. She didn't pull away like he expected her to. Instead she slid her arms around his waist and hugged herself in tight against him. She held on tighter than she had in a long, long time. He held on, too. "I'm here," he whispered. Whatever it was, he'd promised her a long time ago that he would always be there.

* * *

"_Lucia, please," he begged her. "__**Don't**__ do this." _Don't take away the only things I love about this miserable little planet …_ "I need you—" he reached for her._

_She pulled back. "Don't. You're…I don't know what you are, Jack, but I want you out of my house," she wasn't even able to look him in the eye when she said it. "I can't—how can you expect me to live with you after what I saw on that tape! Those Weevils ripped you apart Jack, but here you are, walking around, telling me you need me? I—I can't do this, not any more, not after…" she pulled her arms tight around herself, shutting him further out. It was all just too much. "I'm sorry. I'll bring your things by the Hub later."_

"_**Please**__… Luce—" but the more he reached for her, the more she pulled away. "We've got a good thing, just talk to me—please, don't shut me out. Please don't do this to us." _

_For the first time since he'd arrived, since she'd met him at the door and refused to let him in, Lucia met his gaze. Her eyes were bloodshot. Red-rimmed. Hardened. Her mind was made up. "Just go, Jack. I don't want you here any more. I—I __**can't **__love you after what I saw on that tape." _

_He took in a ragged breath and let it out. "Will you at least let me say good bye to Melissa?" he asked quietly. _

"_Why do you have to drag her into this? Just go—"_

"_She's __**my **__daughter too! I have the right to see her. You can't take that away from me!" He hadn't meant to raise his voice, but… but his whole world was being pulled apart and he didn't know how to stop it. He hadn't intended to fall in love with Lucia Moretti, it was just supposed to be a fling, just something to pass the time, but she made him feel so alive and it felt so good. He should have known it would never last. "Please, Lucia, just give me this one thing and I'll leave. I won't come back, you have my word. I just want to say good bye to my little girl before I go. Please…please give me the chance to tell her good bye." _I don't want her to think I just walked out on her…

"_You can have ten minutes," she relented at last, stepping aside to allow him into the home they'd shared for the last six years. _

_The moment he crossed the threshold, Melissa bolted straight into his arms, "Daddy! Where were you last night, you didn't come home to tuck me in!"_

_He fought back the tears as he scooped her up and held on tight for the very last time. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But… look, I need you to listen to me for a minute, ok?"_

_She nodded sending dark pigtails bobbing. _

_His chest tightened. He'd never gotten to raise his and Laura's girls, he'd walked away, he'd had no choice. This time it was __**supposed**__ to be different. It wasn't fair. But he of all people knew that life wasn't fair. He shifted her in his arms. "No matter what happens, I want you to know that I love you. Never forget that. Ok? Can you remember?"_

"_Are you going away?" she had been a shrewd child. _

"_I… it doesn't matter. I just… I want you to know that I love you and if you ever need me, I'll be there for you, ok? All you ever have to do is call me and I'll come for you."_

* * *

Alice let herself be held even though she was painfully aware that Ianto's family must be watching—wondering. She knew she wasn't making a very good first impression and she hadn't even set foot in the door yet. But for just those few moments, she didn't care. She wanted her father to hold her and tell her he would make it all right like he used to when she was a little girl.

"What happened?" he prompted after a long moment.

She looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. They were bloodshot from crying. They _weren't_ hardened. "He doesn't believe me, Dad. He thinks I'm lying. One of his friends filled his head with some nonsense that you're his father, that we were…. that you're the reason Joe doesn't come around. He hates me, Daddy, and—and even if he believes _you _when you tell him who you are, he'll still hate _me_ for telling him his grandfather was dead!" She took a breath. Wiped away a few more tears. He helped. "Thanks," she sniffled. "He hasn't spoken to me since before the bridge. He won't even look at me, Dad."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. He didn't know what else to do and he didn't realize that even so, he was doing exactly the right thing...selfishly he held her a moment more. "I'll talk to him. Why don't you go on up to the house."

"I can't—"

"Ianto's there. So's my Mom. And Abby and Martha. You'll be ok."


	84. A Lot To Be Thankful For pt 5

**A/N:**

As always, many heartfelt thanks for the reviews this has gotten. It really makes my day to find them in my email...and to know that people are still reading and enjoying this, even 84 chapters in.

* * *

**Chapter Eighty Four:  
A Lot To Be Thankful For (pt 5.)**

"_The truth is rarely pure and never simple."_

Oscar Wilde

* * *

Hugging her arms around herself, trying to hang onto the warmth of her father's arms, Alice made her way across the street. A wave of pure gratitude crashed through her when Ianto stepped out onto the front porch, before she'd even finished crossing the street. He shut the door behind him, closing out whatever questions and speculation must be going on inside, and met her at the sidewalk.

"Ianto, I'm sorry," she blurted out, not knowing what else to say. He must hate her…but his expression didn't read hatred. He offered over a kind smile and laid his hands on her arms, rubbing them gently, giving her more warmth. It wasn't the same kind of warmth her father had given her, but it was still too much to take in, more than she felt as if she deserved. She lost her battle with the tears all over again. He didn't seem to mind; he bundled her up into an embrace and held her without asking questions… and that only made it worse, because she'd expected (hoped) her father would hold her, that he would tell her it would be all right. He was her father and that's what father's did, hers especially, but his partner didn't owe her anything. If anything he should be angry—he should be so angry at her for ruining their day.

But instead, "Jack will sort it out," he told her in a soothing tone. He held her just a moment more before shifting, draping an arm around her shoulders and guiding her up towards the house. "I told my family that you and Steven's father had divorced recently," he continued on in the same tone as they reached the front door. "I told them that things have been a little rough between you and Joe lately and that was affecting you and Steven, that you'd had a fight on the way here—Alice, I do this sort of thing for a living, remember?" he added to her questioning look.

"You're professional liar?"

He chuckled, "I prefer to think of it is creative PR."

She smiled, too, despite the tumult of unpleasant emotions. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he reached across and brushed his thumb over her cheeks, wiping away the last of the most recent flood of tears. "Why don't we get you upstairs and cleaned up?" he suggested as he opened the door.

Alice nodded. A splash of cold water sounded good.

Ianto ushered her in, taking hold of her shoulders again just as soon as they'd crossed the threshold. He took her up the stair before anybody could say anything, explaining over his shoulder that they'd be back in a few moments.

* * *

Jack took deep breath and let it out again. He watched Ianto take Alice into the house. She would be all right, his Welshman would make sure of it. He didn't know why his partner was so understanding. So accepting. Forgiving. But he was and Jack was grateful. It was what made him different, so very different, from Lucia—maybe from anyone else he'd ever been with, although a small part of his mind was convinced that Laura would have been just as stoic if she'd been there. She may have had an earful for him later (and Ianto may as well), but she wouldn't ever have let anyone go wanting for comfort in her house, no matter how awkward the situation or relationship.

He opened up the driver's side door and leant in, just a little. "Hey there, Soldier."

Steven didn't look at him.

"Mind if I sit down?"

The boy shrugged. He still had the platter on his lap.

Jack slid into the driver's seat. "You and your Mom had quite an argument this morning," he observed, keeping his tone gentle. "Wanna tell me about it?"

"She lied to me. She said she would never lie to me but she lied to me!"

He laid a hand on his grandson's shoulder. "I know. And I know some of the stuff she told you must have been pretty hard to hear—"

"You can't be her Dad," Steven interrupted, turning to face him, his tone and expression full of pleading. He didn't want Jack to be her father, he wanted him to be _his _father, because that would explain everything. He shuddered through another sob, trying to keep it in but unable to. "Gran was old. You're the same age as Mum."

Jack swallowed hard. Lucia hadn't been that old when she died, but…but someday Ianto would be old too, or at least he hoped he would and when that happened…_but he's __**not**__ Lucia._ He wouldn't leave him, he wouldn't rip apart his world and take away everything that mattered. Someday he would die, that part was inevitable, but he wouldn't _**leave**_. "I'm older than I look, Steven. I'm older than your Gran."

More tears trickled down his cheeks. "No. You can't be old. Charlie Watson says you're my Dad, we've even got the same chin!"

He understood his tone—what Steven was saying, what he wished were true. Of all the reasons he had to be angry with his former son in law, the way Joe had abandoned Steven was at the top of the list. What had happened between he and Alice was one thing—and reason enough for Jack to want to put him in the ground—but for him not to realize how important Steven was, how much his son loved him, for him to just throw away his relationship with his son…

"Charlie Watson is wrong," he said at length. He kept his voice calm, even when his grandson turned away from him again. "Look at me, Steven."

Reluctantly, he turned to face him as ordered.

"Your mother loves you very much," Jack told him. "And I know it's hard for you to understand right now, but so does your father. Joe," he added, just for clarity's sake.

"He's not my father, not my _real _father, my real father would want me. He would love me like you do." It was almost a question.

"I know that's how you feel. I know Joe hasn't done a real good job of being your father lately. And I do love you," he added, his tone leaving no room for doubts. "I love you and your mom _so_ much. But I'm _not_ your father. I'm your mother's father."

"You can't be," he sounded more miserable than defiant.

"Steven…" he took another deep breath and let it out. His grandson's attention was on him fully now, like he was hanging onto every word—like he was desperate to hang onto anything at all that would make it all right. "Do you remember last year, with the aliens—and the year before that, when the Daleks pulled the earth out of orbit?" at the very least Steven knew what they were called, what had really happened. Alice had seen to that. She didn't sugar coat much.

He nodded, although it was obvious he didn't understand what aliens had to do with anything.

"That wasn't the first time aliens visited this planet. Not all aliens are like the 456 and the Daleks," he was quick to point out. "My very best friend is an alien."

He frowned. "Uncle Ianto—"

"No. Not Ianto. I have a friend called the Doctor. He was born on another planet."

"Is he all metal and stuff?"

Jack chuckled, "No. But he's got two hearts."

"How come?"

"That's just how people are on his planet."

Steven digested that for a moment. "And he's not a bad guy?" he asked at length.

"No. No the Doctor is one of the best guys I've ever met. It's because of him… he helped me become the person I am. I lost my dad too, when I was just about your age. He died and—and I guess after that I lost my way a little. The Doctor helped me find it again. But… see, the thing is, I met him… I met him during World War Two. You know when that was, right?"

He frowned again. Nodded. Didn't quite seem to be able to believe him.

"It…erm… this is where it gets really complicated. See, I wasn't born on this planet either. I was born a long, long way from here, in another galaxy. Another century. In the fifty first century."

"You're—"

"I'm human. But something happened to me and I'm not like everybody else, not any more. Your Mom is just like everybody else and so are you. It's just me who's different."

"How come?"

"I don't know. I just know that I'm—" _a fixed point in time… _"I don't age, at least not very fast anyway. And I can't die. That's why I look the same age as your Mom even though I'm really a whole lot older than her. I've been living on Earth since 1869. I met your Grandmother in 1967."

"Gran said you were dead. Or…" he faltered. "She said my granddad was dead," he corrected himself.

Jack nodded. "I know that's what she wanted you to believe about me. But I'm not dead. I'm right here. I'll always be right here, any time you need me."

"Why did she say you were dead if it wasn't true?"

"Your Gran…"

"Mum said she was afraid of you," Steven cut him off.

"She saw something that frightened her," he admitted.

His grandson gave over an expectant look.

"Steven…I do die. But…I don't stay that way. It's hard to explain and I don't really know how it works," he added, before he could ask again. "But your Gran saw something happen to me, it should have killed me, but the next day I came home. She was… she didn't want me around any more. She wouldn't let me see your mother. I'm sure she thought she was doing the right thing. I know she never meant for you to be hurt by any of this."

"But if she saw you die…why wasn't she just glad you came back? I'd be glad if…if you died and came back." There were more tears welling up behind his eyes.

Jack gave his shoulder another squeeze. "I'm afraid I don't know why she felt the way she did. I just know how happy I am to have you and your mom back in my life. I missed you so much when…when things were different. You mean so much to me—both of you." He was near tears himself.

Steven nearly sent the platter toppling again when he reached over. Jack helped him keep it in place with one hand and wrapped the other around his shoulders, bringing him in as close as he could, holding him tight; Steven wrapped his arms around his neck. He pressed a fierce kiss to the top of his grandson's head. "I will _always_ love you, Steven, no matter how long I live," he promised.

"I'll always love you too, no matter what."

Jack closed his eyes. They held onto each other until Steven finally stopped crying.

"Mum said she told you to stay away, too," he said through the last of his sniffles.

With gentle thumbs, Jack wiped the tears from his cheeks. He couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been for Alice to tell him the truth. He'd told her he would accept the blame if it made it easier for her, for them. "She just wanted to protect you," he told his grandson the simplest version of the truth he could come up with.

"From what?"

"From having to try and understand all the things she knew would be hard for you to understand. All the things she had a hard time understanding when she was your age. I'll never look any older than I do now, Steven, at least not in yours or your Mom's lifetime. Your friend Charlie isn't the first person who thought…who thought your Mom and me had that kind of relationship. It's hard on her, knowing that someday I'll bury her—you. Your children. Their children. And I'll go on, looking just like I do now. My friend the Doctor said that I was a fixed point in time—time, death, it doesn't affect me."

"But she _lied. _Gran lied."

"I know. Someday when you're older, you'll understand it better. But right now I need you to understand how much you hurt your mother—she knows she hurt you too," he added. "But a real man—a real soldier—would do everything he could to make it right. He would say he was sorry to the person he hurt. He would try to understand."

Steven nodded. Wiped away the last of his tears. "How old are you?"

"Old enough to have a great grandson just about your Uncle Ianto's age."

Steven blinked, looked awestruck. Then… "Should I call you Granddad now?"

He brushed the bangs off his grandson's forehead, smiling just a little despite the tempest of raw emotions still churning around inside him. "I think we'd just better keep it to Uncle Jack. I don't mind," he told him.

"Nobody knows, do they?"

"Ianto knows. And some of the people I work with. But you're right, it's not the kind of thing I can tell everybody. People wouldn't understand."

"What about Jason?"

"He knows when and where I came from—Jason was born in the fifty first century, too. But he doesn't know that I can't die, that I'm…that I've been on Earth for almost two hundred years. I'll tell him someday," he promised. "But I need you to keep my secret for me until I think he's ready to hear it."

He nodded. "Mum made me promise."

"Good. Now… are you ready to go inside?"

"I think so."


	85. A Lot To Be Thankful For conclusion

**Chapter Eighty Five:  
A Lot To Be Thankful For (conclusion)**

_A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue,  
but the parent of all other virtues_

Marcus Tullius Circero

* * *

Alice accepted the soft terrycloth towel from Ianto's hands, offering over a wan smile in return for his kindness. She was reminded of the first time they met, just a little over a year ago. He'd come over to where she was sitting to give her a cup of coffee even though hardly been friendly to him. It was childish on her part, but in the moment she'd felt such anger towards him... "Thank you," she said softly.

He gave another one of those quiet, gracious little smiles.

"How do you do it?" she asked.

He frowned, but only slightly. "Do what?"

"Put up with…with all of this."

His smile returned. Deeper. Warmer. "I knew a long time ago that loving a man like Jack Harkness wasn't going to be easy. In the beginning I didn't know how not-easy it was going to be," he admitted, his smile becoming a grin at the memory of that first year… he hadn't intended to fall in love with his boss, hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help himself. There was something about Jack that pulled at him. It had done from almost the very first time they met. "I knew I loved him and I suppose when you love somebody, you make allowances."

"You do more than make allowances, Ianto."

He shrugged and took the towel back from her, hanging it up neatly where it belonged. "I don't see it that way. I see us just another couple struggling through the things everybody struggles with. In-laws, children from previous marriages…those are the sorts of things everybody has to deal with nowadays."

"I'm twice your age."

"You're only fourteen years older than me, Alice," he told her. "And at any rate, I'm hardly the first person who's ever had a step daughter older than them. You read the tabloids, don't you?"

She made a sour face. "Only when I'm standing in line at the grocery."

"Really? I find them quite entertaining. And a pretty good way to keep track of our pterodactyl's nightly excursions."

She smiled, she couldn't help it. As much as she wished for a normal life, she couldn't have wished for a more level headed… step father. Ianto really was her step father… she'd been resisting the notion of thinking of him that way.

There was a light tap on the bathroom door. "Ianto? Alice?" It was Ella. "I brought up a cup of tea—"

He opened the door to let her into their small bathroom.

"Your Mam insists that this is the cure for everything," Ella told him, handing the cup of orange jasmine tea to Alice. "I can't say I'm convinced…but I'm sure whatever it is you and Steven were arguing about, it'll blow over," she said to her granddaughter. "When your father was that age, all we ever did was fight. They never lasted long, but they were always terrible arguments. Stubbornness just runs in our genes, I think."

"Thank you—and for the tea," she said Ianto and then to Ella, as she took a sip. It did help. "I'll be ok in a minute, I just…" she wasn't sure she could face a room full of mostly strangers.

"You can handle my family," the young Welshman assured her in a firm tone that was very convincing. "Remember, your parents were both highly trained Torchwood operatives—they taught you to how to survive hostile aliens."

She laughed despite herself. "I suppose in laws can't be any worse than aliens."

"You haven't met my Uncle Harold," he teased.

She laughed a little more, felt a little better. "All right. Sooner is better than later to get this over with. Thank you," she gave over another smile to her father's partner—her grandmother…he guided her down the stairs and into a room full of questioning faces. He laid his arm around her shoulders and introduced her around without a word as to why she'd come in, in the state she'd been in, or what Jack and Steven were talking about outside.

"And this is Shane Bruster," he concluded, after making his way the rest of the room, and wondering silently if Dafydd was going to show at all. "Shane and Jack are distantly related—"

"Which makes you and I related somehow," the Irishman was quick to point out the obvious, jumping to his feet to take her hand. "It's nice to meet you, Alice. Of course I'm still trying to figure out exactly where we all fit in together," he added with a sheepish grin. "I'd love the chance to talk to you about it later, maybe compare notes—"

"I—erm…" she glanced to Ianto for help.

However, before he could say anything, Cade's voice cut through the room.

"Where's that other American couple?" he wanted to know. "I though this was some big American holiday or something." Whenever he said the word 'American', it sounded like an insult. Sitting next to him on the sofa, Deidre, who was pregnant again and almost as far along as Abby, looked mortified. "What?" he asked of the look his wife was giving him.

She rolled her eyes and excused herself to refill her cup—both Tim and Gavin offered their assistance, but she was adamant that she could manage just fine. If Ianto didn't know better, he would say that she starting to have her fill of Cade.

He cleared his throat, "Sara and Gil drove up to London for the day," he explained their absence patiently, more for Alice's benefit than his brother's. "Friends of theirs from the States re-located there last year." Thankfully, London only seemed to draw alien attack at Christmas.

"So we're still waiting for this big announcement," Mickey said to Martha, breaking the moment of awkward silence that ensued.

She glanced out the window—but it looked like Jack was still talking with his grandson. "Well…I suppose it can't hurt to tell him later," a sly grin crept across her face as she reached over and took Tom's hand in hers. "We're pregnant—or well, you know, I'm pregnant, but he helped a little," she teased.

"Oi! I did more than help 'a little'!" he replied in an indignant tone that was clearly feigned.

Martha laughed—she wasn't the only one. "I've already put myself on desk duty," she said to Ianto. Everybody who worked for Jack understood.

"I was wondering…" Shane gave her a look. He'd been wondering why she seemed to be taking it easier the last few days. "How long—?"

"I only confirmed it a couple of days ago," she promised him, knowing he would be at least a little bit hurt she hadn't told her immediate co-workers first. She didn't have the heart to tell him she'd told already Lois. Or, more accurately, Lois had figured it out. She was almost as uncanny as Ianto at times, when it came to knowing 'everything.'

Ianto hung back with Alice while the rest of his colleagues gathered around Martha and Tom to offer their congratulations. It was just a few more moments before Jack and Steven finally joined them; it looked as if they'd both been crying, but as near as the Welshman could tell, his partner was all right. He had one arm around Steven's shoulders and he smiled as he came in. Ianto knew him well enough to know that it was a real smile, not something he'd plastered on his face for the sake of appearances.

"Did I miss something?" the Captain asked, much to the amusement of most of the rest of the room.

While Martha filled him in, repeating her promise to remain on desk duty—and that no, she wouldn't even take on any savage politicians in her condition—Steven tugged his mother into the kitchen where he set the platter of much abused pigs in a blanket on the table.

There were two missing.

Alice was very careful to hide her smile when she noticed.

"I'm sorry, Mum," her son said in a very, very soft tone. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, it just happened. But I want to make it all right."

Her smile deepened. Warmed. She knelt down so she could look at him without towering over him. "I know it it's a lot to take in all at once, Sweetheart," she told him. "And I know I hurt your feelings too. It's just—when you're a grown up everything is so much more complicated than when you're little. Although I suppose you're really all that little any more, are you?" she ruffled his hair affectionately.

Jack stood at threshold, carefully out of their line of sight; Ianto slipped up next to him.

"Everything all right?" the younger man asked. He slid his arm around his partner's waist.

"I think so. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything."

The young Welshman chuckled, "I hardly think I can take credit for everything, Cariad, but if you'd like to show your appreciation by washing up later…"

Laughing, Jack pressed a warm kiss to his forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The doorbell rang; since she was closest, Nerys got it. It was Dafydd at last. "Sorry," he ducked his head apologetically for being so late. "I got a bit held up at work."

"No worries," his sister assured him, although she glanced over to Jack to confirm…but he was grinning.

"Good to see you Dafydd—you're just in time. All right, everybody, into the dining room and let's eat!"


	86. Mistletoe

**A/N:**

I have no idea what I was doing up at 6am on a Saturday, but this was the result ;-)

* * *

**Chapter Eighty Six:  
Mistletoe**

"_Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."_

Robert Heinlein

* * *

Ianto Jones-Harkness was used to waking up alone in bed. In all his life, in fact, he'd only ever lived with one other person—well, besides, Wendy, but that didn't count, not really. He'd slept on her couch, after all. But even having lived with Jack for over two years (over three technically, counting that year in the future), he was still used to waking up alone in bed.

What he wasn't used to was waking up to the sounds of hushed laughter and Christmas music coming from downstairs. The clock on the bedside table read 7:03. It was a Saturday. It was a Saturday that they had taken off, to spend together…although that plan had gotten changed around a bit during their Thanksgiving festivities when Steven and Jason had begged their respective parents to let Steven to stay over. Of course it was out of the question, they weren't in America, both he and Jason had school on Friday. Ianto was convinced that there were other reasons Alice was reticent… but there was always Friday night and while she might almost be able to resist her son's big pleading blue eyes, she apparently couldn't resist her father's.

Despite his better instincts, Ianto slid out of the safe warmth of the covers and shimmied into his pyjama bottoms before slipping his robe around his body. He had planned on sleeping in today, although he supposed given that his days usually started at 5:30 am, this _was _sleeping in…it just wasn't quite what he'd had in mind. _A leisurely morning in bed with my gorgeous husband, breakfast out, just the two of us…_ they'd cleared it ahead of time with Jack's Mam that she would handle the kids today, let them have a couple of hours to themselves… after breakfast they were going to go to the city centre to and do a little holiday shopping, maybe take in a movie. It had been a very long time since they'd had a proper date. Ianto knew that that was the price of parenthood, especially with Seren, ever the precocious child, starting to enter the 'terrible twos' a good six months ahead of schedule.

A quick peek into his daughter's room revealed that whatever was going on downstairs, she was in on it, or at the very least, she was out of her bed.

"I tried to stop them," said Ella from top of the stair. "Really I did."

"Oh dear. That bad?" But he knew it was. She was carrying a cup of coffee. That meant that Jack had made it—or worse, his mother had.

In response to his question, his mother in law merely gave over a pained smile. "He said he'd be starting breakfast just as soon as you got up."

_Right._ Well, all right. He'd been woken up by worse threats by far…and really, how bad could it be? It was just Jack and his son, his grandson…Christmas music. More hushed laughter—Seren's laugh rang out merrily, which, Ianto had to admit was an improvement over her usual morning litany of 'NO.' So whatever they were up to, they were keeping Seren amused (which could in itself be frightening.) Bracing himself as best as he could, Ianto descended the steps…

The sight that greeted him at the bottom of the stair was enough to make him turn around and go straight back up the bed and pull the covers over his head.

Last year, he and Jack had had their first real argument—not a disagreement, but an all out heated debate—over the virtues of a real verses an artificial Christmas tree.

Real trees, the Welshman had insisted, while quite lovely and delightfully traditional, shed needles everywhere and who did the vacuuming? Besides which, they were fire hazards and honestly, why should a tree have to be cut down just so people could decorate it with hunks of tinsel and plastic apples? But the point that finally "won" the argument was when he reminded Jack that if they got an artificial tree, they could put it up all the sooner.

He wished he'd just let his husband trek out to the woods and chop down a damned tree like he'd wanted to. He swore, he did not recall Jack as having been this bloody festive before they moved into the house. The Hub hadn't had any sort of holiday decorations until after Gwen joined.

So it had come as a complete surprise to the young Welshman when his partner insisted that they purchase the biggest, fattest Christmas he'd ever seen. Ianto was certain that it put even Her Majesty's tree to shame.

Steven and Jason were decking it (or maybe each other) with shiny red and gold garland, while the Jack tried to untangle the lights (which should have gone on before the garland, they'd had that discussion last year. There were steps to putting up a tree, things had to be done in a certain order. But Jack never listened.) Over by the fire place, Seren was amusing herself, playing with the Manger scene that had been Ianto's one and only addition to their holiday kit—the Welshman swooped in and rescued Baby Jesus just in from Seren trying to eat him.

He cleared his throat loudly. All activity ceased (except for Seren who continued to merrily play with Joseph and Mary…Ianto really did not want to know what conversation they were playing out in her imagination.)

Jack gave over an innocent look. "It…erm… we didn't mean to wake you. Sorry."

"Sorry Uncle Ianto…" said Steven.

"I'm sorry too," Jason echoed.

The younger man took a breath. Let it out. He'd seen the expression of pure joy on his husband's face, on the boys' faces, when he first came downstairs and it made his heart swell—he also realized that Jack was teetering on the edge, genuinely afraid he'd upset him and that all of that happiness would ebb away in an instant if he lost his temper. And he supposed that for a few seconds he _had_ been upset, the lounge looked like a Christmas explosion. But sitting there on the floor in the middle of it, Jack looked so _very _happy. So Ianto bit his tongue and rolled his eyes, forcing a smile that he realized suddenly wasn't forced at all.

"Why don't I get dressed and go get us some breakfast so you lot can finish up with the tree?" he suggested, unable to help the grin that contineued to creep across his face. Jack was just as much of a kid as his son and grandson and he loved it when his partner got to indulge that side of himself.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked.

Ianto's smile warmed at the hopefulness of his tone, his expression. "I have the feeling it'll be easier on my nerves if only one room is the subject of your attention today, Cariad," he assured him.

He saw the relief…a little uncertainty… and he spied the plastic mistletoe sitting on top of the box next to Jack's knee…


	87. Concessions

**A/N:**

This wasn't really what I was supposed to be doing today.... it's just a bit of mostly fluff, continuing on from the last one.

* * *

**Chapter Eighty Seven:  
Concessions**

_"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive?  
Love is everything it's cracked up to be.  
That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.  
And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."_

Erica Jong

* * *

After breakfast, Ianto found himself dragged, rather literally by Jason and Steven, into helping them and Jack finish with the tree. To have the biggest fattest Christmas tree in the history of mankind also meant that one must have enough tinsel and plastic apples—and all manner of other bits and baubles—to go on it. Jack wasn't satisfied until every branch had an ornament hanging from it, some of them more than one. Likewise, there were at least three times the recommended number of lights twined through the plastic boughs… _thank Heavens it __**isn't **__a real tree_... Ianto mused as he stood back, coffee cup cradled in his hands, to watch the official lighting after Jack had ceremoniously placed the angel on the top (they had briefly considered a star, but after the incident in London from a few years back, they'd settled on a lovely porcelain angel, instead.)

"It is a lovely tradition," Ella said softly at his elbow, nodding towards the tree—Jack had just asked the boys if they were ready for him to plug in the lights.

"Not one he grew up with, is it?" Ianto whispered back to his mother in law.

She smiled. "I could tell you about his favourite holiday—Carnival on Adonia—but I really don't think it's the sort of thing you want to hear about."

He chuckled. "You're probably right," but he returned her smile anyway, praying the circuit breakers could handle the strain as Jack plugged in the extension cord…the tree blazed and twinkled. Nothing caught fire. Nothing went out elsewhere that he could see. He let out the breath he was holding. It looked like they would likely make it through another year after all… but just to be safe, he'd laid the Nativity well out of Seren's reach. He very much doubted that when anyone spoke of consuming the body and blood of Christ, they quite meant it the way his daughter kept trying to do. Ianto drained the lat of his cup.

"All right, you three," he said to Jack, Jason and Steven, "time to get this lot packed up and then get dressed," he instructed in a brisk tone. "Come on, all the boxes go back up into the attic—and I want us out the door within the hour," he gave his partner a stern look.

"Ok men, you heard Drill Sergeant Ianto," said Jack in an almost officious tone. "Jason, you're on ornament boxes, Steven, you get that pile over there. When a superior officer says jump, what do we say?" he asked, grinning.

"Sir, yes, Sir!" the two boys said in unison.

Ianto only barley held in his laughter long enough to get to the top of the stair. He supposed he should feel just a little bit guilty for leaving them to clean up, but it was _their_ mess. He'd done his part, he'd gotten dressed before eight am on a Saturday to bring home hot breakfast for everybody in take out containers.

It wasn't going to be a date day, not even close, but at least he should be able to get some holiday shopping in and surely there was something playing at the cinema that was suitable for boys Jason's and Steven's age. He slipped on a soft cotton t-shirt… boxers…socks… Jack's favourite jeans. A warm woollen sweater—red, of course. After all, there was nothing wrong with making his husband _wish_ they were on a date.

The door creaked open. "Looks like I'm late," said the Captain—_**my**__ Captain_, Ianto thought, his smile deepening.

The Welshman answered his mischievous grin with a raised eyebrow.

"I missed you naked," he explained.

"Your loss," the other answered coolly. "But if you can manage to behave yourself this afternoon, I might let you see me naked tonight—I might even let you be the one to undress me."

"Promise?"

Ianto considered (or at least he pretended to) for several moments, before answering in a sceptical tone. "I don't know. Are you going to call me 'Drill Sergeant Ianto' again?" he wanted to know.

"That depends—do you want me to?"

"Only if you're saluting when you do it."

"Sir, yes, Sir!" he snapped to attention. In more ways than one.

Ianto laughed and handed Jack his clothes. It definitely wouldn't do to have one of the boys walk in on him looking like _that_…

* * *

"Mum!" Steven protested when Alice swept him into a huge (and hugely embarrassing) hug, many hours later.

Jack smiled as his daughter apologized to her son for squeezing him so tight. She'd called once last night and twice today, just to 'check in'. It wasn't that she didn't trust him she'd insisted, it was that he'd never spent the night so far from home before. He understood.

"Why don't you three take off your coats and I'll put on the kettle," she invited them in.

Before accepting, Jack glanced at his partner wondering if… but Ianto nodded, yes it was all right if they stayed for a bit. (Jason was giving them both a far more pleading look than the one Jack was giving his partner.)

"We can't stay long," he told his son, as he shrugged out of his coat; Jason was already half out of his as well. "We still have things to do at home tonight."

Ianto hid his smile and took Jack's and Jason's coats from them. "I've got these," he told Jack's daughter.

They boys were half way up the stairs before he got the coats hung up neatly in the closet; he joined Jack and Alice in the kitchen.

"We were just discussing Christmas," Jack said as he entered. He held out his hand and Ianto took it, leaned into him. Let himself be held. He pulled his Welshman in just a little closer. Glancing over, Alice didn't seem bothered by the display. In fact she almost seemed to be… smiling. Just a little.

"Dare I even ask what about Christmas you were discussing?" the younger man queried at him.

"Dad wants us to come to yours for dinner," said Alice. She sounded dubious. Or at least sympathetic to what having two more guests was likely to do to their home, which was hardly tranquil to begin with, even on the best of days.

However, "We'd love to have you," he told her honestly. At least Christmas dinner wouldn't include his brothers. Nerys and Remi would be there with Mickey, of course, but this year it was going to be Christmas Eve with his Mam and brothers and their families and Christmas with friends and his husband's family—barring alien invasion of course. He said as much to Jack's daughter, who was pouring the hot water for the tea.

"You're not likely to get called up to London are you?" she asked. Last year had been quiet, at least as far as she knew, but now that her father had somebody working for him in London…

Jack shrugged. "I'm sure Martha can handle anything that comes up, short of an all out invasion—" he stopped midsentence as Jason and Steven came bounding down the steps again, clamouring at him to come see something they were working on upstairs.

"Go on," Ianto gave over one of those smiles, one of the ones that melted him heart and soul.

"Just us grown-ups, then," Alice teased as he was led away.

"So it seems," the young Welshman agreed. He stirred his tea for a moment before meeting her gaze again. "Do you mind if I ask you… I'm not really sure if it's too personal question or not…" he admitted.

"What is it, Ianto?" she motioned them towards the table so they could sit down.

He nodded his thanks, waited for her to sit and then sat down next to her. "It's just…I was wondering something about Jack. I'm not even sure if it's something you'd remember…but… when you were younger, before he and your mother split up…was he… I mean, this time of year…"

She chuckled softly. "You want to know if we always had the biggest Christmas tree on the street?"

He nodded.

"I remember one year—I must have been five, it was the last Christmas we had together—he did up the whole garden, every tree, every bush…oh, it was garish!" she assured him with a wide grin. "But I remember loving every blinking, twinkling light and every gaudy decoration. The next year everything was…bleak. Empty. It wasn't just that there weren't dancing lights, it was like all the light had gone out of everything. I never understood until much later what had happened and even then..." She stirred her tea. Even then she hadn't really known what had happened, just that her father was some kind of freak of nature that her mother couldn't live with any longer. She looked up when Ianto put his hand on hers. She twined her fingers into his and he gave a little squeeze. "I suppose he told you the story before he told me."

He nodded. He didn't tell her that he'd had to pull it out of Jack.

She cleared her throat. "What about your family?" she asked, mostly trying to make conversation. "What did you do for Christmas when you were Steven's and Jason's age?"

"Mam and Tad—my step father—always put up a big tree when we were little, and we had cardboard candy canes and nutcrackers taped to the windows—red and green paper chains that we'd made. All in all, it was pretty awful," but he smiled at the memory anyway.

"I think that being pretty awful is a part of the charm, really."

"I suppose it is. You had a real tree, then?" he wondered. "When your father was still around?"

"Dad wouldn't hear of an artificial one," she confirmed. Then, "Sometimes… I wish I could remember more of what it was like having him around. When I watch him with Jason—with your daughter…" she shrugged. "I guess…I guess maybe sometimes I get a little jealous," she admitted. "I know it's silly of me."

"Not at all," Ianto gave her hand another gentle squeeze as the settled into a comfortable silence. "I suppose I should go collect him and Jason and head home," he said at length, draining the last of his tea. "But… thank you. Having Steven stay over last night meant the world to him. I know this hasn't been easy on you."

"I think the hardest part was having to admit that whatever happened between him and Mum wasn't all his fault—maybe none of it was his fault."

"He's not necessarily the easiest person to live with, Alice. Believe me."

She smiled at that. "I know. But it's like you said the other day, when you love somebody, you make allowances. You compromise."

"It's either that or you walk away."

She gave him a startled look—but Ianto just smiled back at her.

"I could never walk away from him, Alice. I love him too much."

"Even when it's difficult?" She took their cups over to the sink.

"Some things are worth fighting for."

She turned to face him again, studying him for just a moment. "I'm glad he has you, Ianto."

"Me too."


	88. Dinner and Movie

**A/N:**

I woke up this morning with this little post script in my head. It's short, but I think it really needs to be here.

Thank you again for the wonderful reviews. I enjoy the warm fuzzy moments between Jack and Ianto too. :)

* * *

**Chapter Eighty Eight:  
****Dinner and Movie**

"_But some emotions don't make a lot of noise.  
It's hard to hear pride.  
Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat.  
And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there."_  
Author Unknown

* * *

Sitting in the passenger seat of the SUV, Jack's hand curled snugly around his, Ianto smiled. He was weary to the bone, but he was happy. He glanced into the backseat; Jason was out cold. His smile deepened.

Jack gave over an inquisitive look.

"Jason," he explained quietly.

The older man glanced in the rear view mirror—he smiled at what he saw in the backseat, too.

"Maybe we should have Steven over more often," his Welshman went on. "I don't think I've ever him this worn out so early on a Saturday." Even after playing football all afternoon, Jason still seemed to have energy left to wear them out with in the evening.

Jack swallowed back the hopefulness that the suggestion of having Steven over again sometime caused in him and glanced over at his partner again—Ianto gave him a questioning look. He drew the younger man's hand up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to his skin. "I know this wasn't exactly the plan you had for today."

"We did get to see a movie at least," he interjected.

Jack feathered another kiss to his partner's hand. "I know that wasn't what you had in mind when you asked me about going a movie today."

Ianto shrugged. "I had fun."

"I'm glad. And thank you. I…appreciate," he floundered a little. 'Appreciate' wasn't the right word for how he felt. There wasn't a good word to express how much last night and today had meant to him. How much having Alice and Steven over two days ago, how much having them for Christmas, meant to him. There weren't any words all to express how well he understood what an imposition it was, how much he appreciated—

"Cariad, they're your family," as usual, his husband seemed to understand exactly what he was thinking. "How could I not be supportive?"

"'Supportive' would be telling me I could go see them whenever I wanted to," he told him. "You—you do so much more than just be supportive." He didn't fully understand why—Hell, he didn't understand why at all. "I don't know how to say thank you for that."

"You just did."

But two words didn't feel like they were thanks enough, he just didn't know what else to say.

Ianto smiled, squeezed his hand. "When I was a kid, my mother used to have this little cartoon on the fridge. I've no idea who the character was—even then, I didn't know. But I remember what it said. 'Love is the one thing that more of it you give away, the more you have'. There will always be room for your family in our house, Cariad," he promised him. "Besides, it's not as if you don't put up with an awful lot from mine. When you marry someone, you marry their entire family. Even my Uncle Harold," he teased.

Jack smiled, but didn't laugh. "You've never lied about yours. I did," he said. He'd lied when Ianto asked him once, a couple of years ago, if there were any more children besides Jason. Alice lived barely an hour's drive from Cardiff, but telling him about her and Steven would have meant opening up too many wounds that even then, with things seeming to go so well between them, he was afraid to open. He was afraid that exposing that part of his life to someone else would only lead to more hurt, terrified that telling him about his nearly forty year old daughter, his grandson, would make Ianto look at him the way Lucia had—would make him reconsider whether or not he really wanted to spend his life living with someone who would never look any older. He'd been so happy, and so desperate not to lose it. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you more when you first asked."

"That was ages ago, Jack. In case you hadn't noticed it, I got over it rather quickly."

"I noticed," he told him. What he didn't know was why…but he supposed it didn't really matter, not any more. They'd got through it. No matter what happened, they always seemed to get through it, Ianto always forgave him. "So…look, I know today didn't go the way you planned," he said again, "so I was thinking that tonight, after we drop Jason off with Mom, maybe… dinner… a movie?"

Ianto smiled at the familiarity of the words. He doubted Jack realized what he was saying. "Are you asking me out on a _date_?" he asked anyway.

Suddenly realizing what he'd just said, Jack grinned—nearly laughed. His voice was filled with good humour when he asked Ianto if he'd be interested (rather than the uncertainty that had filled him the first time he'd asked that question.) "No photocopiers," he added. "Unless of course you _want_ to copy your butt. I know I'd sure like to see—"

"I'll pass, thank you," he cut him off with a glare—although it was obvious he was trying not to laugh as well. "And yes, dinner and a movie sounds wonderful."


	89. Christmas 2010 pt 1

**A/N:**

Erm… Happy Christmas Eve, even if this doesn't start out especially happy…

* * *

**Chapter Eighty Nine:**

**Christmas 2010 (Pt. 1):  
Christmas Eve**

"_It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life.  
The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated...it is finished when it surrenders."_

Ben Stein

"_Grief is the price we pay for Love."_

Elizabeth II

* * *

"_**Ianto! Shane!" **_Jack's fear-filled voice boomed over the gunfire and frightened cries of the few remaining pedestrians who were trapped on the street, terrified to be there, yet too afraid do more than run for cover. There was little cover to be had from the nearly constant rain of bullets and a few smouldering fires.

"Yeah—both still alive!" _barely…_ the young Welshman yelled back to his husband. Cold smoke filled air burned his lungs. He wasn't yelling because he didn't have his comm. on, he did, but ten minutes ago it had been disrupted by…something. An EM pulse, or something of the sort was Ianto's best guess. Not that it much mattered, the point was that anything which required any sort of electricity to function wasn't functioning. Traffic lights, phones, emergency service vehicles, ordinary cars…everything was out. The whole city was black.

"This is my last clip," Shane said at his elbow as he reloaded his gun for the last time. His expression was grim.

Ianto nodded. Neither stated the obvious; survival wasn't likely. The alley was a dead end and the street was a warzone. They were out manned and seriously outgunned. Even if there had been anyone to call for back up, there was no way to make the call. "Well," he swallowed back the lump in his throat and forced a wan smile. "No sense going out without a fight, yeah?"

"Yeah."

* * *

_One hour earlier_

_._

"Jack, we've got it covered!" Bobby insisted as he and Wendy grabbed up their gear and prepared to head back out into the cold again. They'd literally just come in the door after answering a false alarm (sometimes what looked like an alien wielding a ray gun was really was just a drunk teenager with a lot of piercings and battery operated toy). This time at least, the alarm had come from the Rift Monitor, not the local LEO's (Tim's addition to the Torchwood vocabulary. LEO was short for Law Enforcement Officer.)

This, however, made the third 'emergency' of the night—and the night was yet young. Half an hour ago, Sara, Mickey and Gwen had left on a run out to Barry to investigate a series of 'flying lizard' sightings Sara had picked up on her scanner—she as always monitoring local (and not so local) police radio activity. After verifying that Myfanwy was tucked up safely into her alcove, Jack agreed to send them out, even though he suspected the sightings were the result a little too much holiday cheer and not a real dinosaur. But Sara was right, it was better to be safe than sorry.

"You answered the last one," Jack continued to protest Bobby and Wendy's departure. "It's Christmas Eve. Go home—"

"We're not the ones expecting out of town company," she reminded him with a grin, "and I don't even celebrate Christmas. Besides, the last one turned out to be nothing," she gave Ianto a quick peck on the cheek before heading out the door with the medic on her heels, heedless of the Captain's objections.

"You know, there was a time when people actually listened to me around here," Jack grumbled.

"What was that?" asked his husband in a deliberately distracted sounding tone. "Sorry…wasn't paying attention," he 'apologized', grinning, when Jack turned to glare at him.

Jack was torn between anger—or at least vague irritation—and laughter. The latter won out quickly enough however, especially when Ianto handed him a cup of truly heavenly smelling coffee. There was coffee magic and then there was whatever it was that was one step better. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay mad at you when you make coffee like this?" he asked.

"Yup." Ianto perched himself on the edge of his desk, his own cup cradled in his hands. Even he had to admit that there were times when it came out especially perfect. Or maybe it was that it was Christmas Eve and he was happy.

It wasn't just the sight of Jack standing there in one of his dark blue shirts, one of the ones that brought out the flash of blue in his eyes, and trousers that fit him just right… it wasn't the ring on his finger, on his partner's finger, and everything they had meant, continued to mean…_would always mean_… It wasn't that Gwen and Abby had decorated the Hub for Christmas, although thankfully a bit more carefully than last year (Myfanwy and tinsel…. Ianto still had nightmares…) It was more. It was everything.

He smiled and drank his coffee, completely aware that his husband was sauntering his way with a very seductive grin tugging at the corners of his mouth… A moment later the cog door rolled aside, interrupting a kiss that could have easily led to a game of naked hide and seek…

The younger man sipped his cooling coffee as Jack rushed to greet his great grandson. Shane still didn't know the particulars of the family tree—but Jack knew. And that was all that mattered to his husband, because seeing Jack surrounded by family at the holidays, even a holiday that had never meant anything to him, made the younger man immeasurably happy.

Assuming of course they didn't all get called up to London to deal with an alien invasion of course, but so far the skies were clear. No clouds. No space ships. Just a nice quiet Christmas Eve.

Unless there really was a flying lizard loose in Barry…_where the Hell would we put another pterodactyl?_ The young Welshman wondered as he drained his cup.

"So where is everybody?" Shane's question drew him from his thoughts.

"We've had a couple of calls," said Jack, giving the other the quick version of who had gone to answer what.

"How're Tim and Abby doing, then?" The Irishman inquired.

"Doing better now that they finally let her and the twins out of hospital," Ianto supplied the answer—Abby had gone into labour a full three weeks ahead of schedule, but mother and babies were doing remarkably well. Ianto suspected that the doctors discharged her just to get her out of their hair. She was an even worse patient than Bobby, and that was saying something. "The last time we went to see her, she threw grapes at Jack's head." And Abby had good aim, too.

"That _wasn't _funny!" His husband interjected—it was too late, Shane was already laughing.

"I'm sorry," he tried to apologize as Jack growled.

"No horseplay in the Hub!" Ianto snapped as the Captain launched himself at his great grandson. "Bad enough you do it at our house," he added, half under his breath, wondering if this was what he had to look forward to on a more regular basis, when Jason was a little older… but then he smiled again (he just didn't let his partner see it). He liked the idea of being around long enough to see Jack and his son wrestling. It was good to see him so happy.

Then the phone rang…


	90. Christmas 2010 pt 2

**Chapter Ninety:**

**Christmas 2010 (pt 2)**

_"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart,  
I'll stay there forever"_

Winnie the Pooh

...

"_Helplessness induces hopelessness,  
and history attests that loss of hope_ _and not loss of lives  
is what decides the issue of war"_

B.H. Liddell Hart

* * *

From his vantage point across the street, Jack watched, helpless, pinned down by enemy fire, as Ianto and then Shane emerged, guns drawn, from the relative safety of the alleyway. It had been their only cover, their only refuge from the invaders. Their bullets were ineffective against the aliens' body armour, they just kept coming forward, returning fire, closing in on the two men and there was nothing he could do to get to them… which didn't stop him from trying, but the world was spinning too fast.

"No. No, no, no…" he breathed as he ran.

The first bullet pierced flesh and muscle—the second bullet hit a mere second later and then a third and a fourth. But he barely felt them, barely felt the ground come up under him, cold and hard and fast--slick and red and wet, blood mingling with salty tears as he lay there unable to move. All he could do was watch as Ianto threw down his empty gun and charged forward at the invaders. _Please, no…not him, not now…not **yet**. It isn't fair! _Three years wasn't enough.

Jack screamed out his husband's name, but the sound of his voice was drown out by the blaze weapons fire.

* * *

_Forty five minutes earlier…_

"There's _nothing _out here," Mickey insisted. Again. "Except bloody cow shit!" he added, as he stepped in another pile of dung, swearing up a blue streak while he was at it. He was wearing what had been a brand new pair of boots. The fact that it was cold and that the whole place smelled like the stuff he kept stepping in didn't help his mood any. Right now, he should be drinking hot chocolate with Nerys by the fireplace in their new house, not out here chasing after shadows in the dark. Jack was right, it was probably just a few farmers having over indulged in holiday spirits. The Rift didn't even extend this far.

"I'm getting a reading," Sara countered his argument; she and Gwen were both using trackers to scan for alien life forms. "I just can't pin down where it's coming from or what it is. But it _isn't_ terrestrial," she gave over a sharp look before he could suggest that she might literally be chasing after wild geese in the dark. "Or if it is, it isn't from this time," she added, because really, when one worked for Torchwood, the possibility of finding a dinosaur wasn't out of the question. She looked over to Gwen who shook her head. She couldn't get a lock on the signal either.

"Fantastic," grumbled Mickey. "So what do we do, keep wandering around stepping in shit all night?"

"You know, if you'd watch were you were going—" the American began. So far neither she nor Gwen had 'christened' their shoes in the pasture.

"Shhh—" Gwen shushed her. "I think I heard something," she said in a hushed tone. "Listen."

"I don't…" Mickey began…then he reached for the tranquilizer gun in his holster, all signs of jollity gone; he had two guns in his shoulder holster, on filled with four-species sedative the other with live ammunition—just in case. For all that he seemed the contrary, the man who went in guns blazing, Mickey was as averse to taking a life as Jack. He'd seen more than his fair share of death working for Torchwood in the other Universe. He liked Jack's Torchwood a lot better. Just the same, he had every intention of making it home to his girlfriend and her daughter tonight and having that cup of hot chocolate by the fire before they set Remy's presents from Father Christmas out under the tree. This would be their first Christmas together, properly together, and he wasn't going to let some winged dinosaur or alien or whatever ruin that.

A shadow passed over the ground…

* * *

"Wen?" Bobby asked as she bent over the small object that seemed to be the cause of the Rift spike…blip was more like it. He was looking forward to wrapping up what should be nothing and obeying Jack's order to go home already. It wasn't a matter of celebrating or not celebrating Christmas, he was at the end of a twenty hour day and ready for some sleep.

Just the same, tomorrow morning he would slip off to Christmas Mass, probably while Wendy was curled up on her side of their bed still sleeping. He hadn't bothered about church services in a long time, not since he was a much younger man, but he had started attending again, at least semi-regularly, since moving to Cardiff. Torchwood had forced him to examine his own morality in a way that simply being a doctor hadn't done. The incidents of the last few years made him look at the Universe and his place in it and at least for Bobby, that drew him closer to God, not further away.

"Yeah, this is it," she confirmed if the small cylindrical object they'd found on the roof of a near buy tenement (_should have let Jack handle this one, him and his roofs,_ she thought). "I seems inert..."

He handed over a pair of tongs anyway.

Wendy smiled. "Afraid I might get a face full of 'alien angel dust'?"

"Or worse," he returned her smile despite the very real fear that as small and harmless as the object seemed, it could be lethal. It could be anything. But another quick glance at his handheld energy detector reassured him that there was absolutely no sign of 'life', no radiation, not much of anything at all, coming from the object that wasn't even as large as an American football. "What do you say that after we get this back to the Hub, we knock off for the night?" he suggested.

"You're not going to have to ask me twice," she grinned… it faded immediately, however, with the expression that suddenly came over her lover's face. "Bobby?" she backed away from the object.

"It's not that, the monitor…" but before he could finish his sentence, the city below them went dark.

* * *

Jack had once described the sensation of coming back from death's door as feeling like he was being dragged over broken glass. The truth was that that description didn't _**begin**_ to describe the immeasurable pain he felt each and every time he was pulled back to life by Rose Tyler's impossible wish. Her face loomed over him in the dark, golden hair and golden eyes, the only thing he ever saw and even that was just a mirage. There was nothing beyond life. Nothing beyond death. Only darkness. Emptiness. Only pain.

He knew what Wendy believed--what Henry believed. What Bobby and Ianto believed--that Ianto had somehow adopted Henry's and Wendy's beliefs about reincarnation. But they had never seen the other side, never felt it…it was so cold it burned. So dark. So empty. It _**hurt**_.

And yet more than anything, he longed to stay there in the cold dark emptiness because the cold dark emptiness of death was better than the cold dark emptiness of life. The last thing he'd seen before death took him… _Ianto… _

_Please, please, just this once, please let me stay dead…_ he sobbed into the darkness, even though he knew that if he was conscious enough to be begging for death, real death, final death, that it was already too late. He was coming back. _Please,_ he begged anyway_…please let me stay… _He didn't want to face what he knew was waiting for him on the other side of that field of broken glass. _I can't do it any more… not without…_ Ianto.

The last thing he clearly remembered seeing before the darkness had taken him was Ianto charging, unarmed, at the aliens, pushing Shane back to cover, saving him, sacrificing… _please don't make me go back, I can't do it alone…_ he was so tired…

_Jason…_ the voice in his head wasn't his own, but the sound of it tore his heart to pieces. _Ianto._ It was his voice in the dark, reminding him why he couldn't stay, why he had to go back. _Jason needs you… Seren… our daughter needs you, Jack… _Those beautiful Welsh vowels.

"I can't…"

"Yes you can."


	91. Christmas 2010 pt 3

**A/N:**

Thank you so much for the wonderful responses this has gotten! I know I really should apologize for the way that last one ended… I have no idea what happened to the Christmas fluff I was planning to write. This came out instead.

There's a bit of Welsh in this one. It isn't a language I have any knowledge of whatsoever, so I had to rely on an online source; if I've botched it, please let me know! Also, the reference to the day the power went out around the world is from an episode of the _Sarah Jane Adventures_. (I haven't seen all of them, but am making my way through as I get the chance, since I do consider Sarah Jane part of the broader universe.)

Lastly, the working vortex manipulator comes in from another story as well, a brilliant explanation of Gibbs (and the rest of the team's) rescue of Ziva written by Xero Shane.

* * *

**Chapter Ninety One:**

**Christmas 2010 (pt 3)**

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,  
while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

Lao Tzu

* * *

"Timmy—don't you _**dare**_ leave me like this!" Abby seethed, unusually quietly; the twins were finally _**both **_asleep. On the one hand, she was glad to have had twins, a boy and a girl, a perfect set (and they were perfect, absolutely perfect, in every single way and that wasn't just her perception as a mother)—and yet they were so much work! It seemed that the moment one dozed off the other woke up and started fussing and that started the first one fussing again and neither one was ever able to clearly communicate what they were fussing about… at least Janet knew sign language! Abby had bags under the bags under her eyes. Pulling twenty-four hour shifts was easier because at least at work there was always some lull in the storm, a chance to catch a power nap and lots of chances to load up on caffeine.

"Abby," Tim responded to her ire in the calmest tone he could muster—under the circumstances, he thought he was doing a pretty good job of keeping a level head. Almost ten minutes ago, the entire city had gone dark around them. Television. Phone. Lights. Everything.

Abby had started lighting black candles as soon as they realized that it wasn't _just_ the appliances that had gone down. The torches didn't work either, even though the batteries were fresh (Tim checked them on a monthly basis) and neither did the battery operated radio he kept in case of a power outage. Thank goodness at least the candles seemed to be working… it wasn't until they came to Torchwood that Tim and Abby discovered what had _really _happened the day the power went out around the globe, the day not even candles wouldn't light. (CNN and other broadcasts tried to blame the incident on 'unusual solar activity'—which wasn't entirely untrue, the newscasters simply had omitted the involvement of a group of pissed off Raxacoricofallapatorians.)

Abby glared harder; he was grabbing up his gear, clearly prepared to walk right out the door despite her previous warning. "Do I have to remind you that I can kill you and leave absolutely no evidence whatsoever?"

Being braver than the average man, Tim stepped forward and placed both hands on his wife's arms. "I'm scared, too, Abbs. But whatever's going on out there, it's not just the power grid. I have to get to the Hub…"

"If the power's out—" she began to protest. If the power was out there was no way he could get in. The Hub itself was protected against most sorts of energy attacks, but tourist office wasn't. There would be no way for him to open the door.

"There's a back way in—Ianto showed me."

"How come nobody ever showed me the back way!"

He feathered a soft kiss to her forehead. "I promise, just as soon as this is over, I'll show it to you."

"You'd better, Timothy McGee. And you'd better be careful out there, too." She gave him three candles and her favourite zippo lighter. "Just in case."

"Thanks."

Before leaving the apartment, Tim stole quietly into the twin's room; they wriggled just a little in their sleep, curling tighter around each other. According to some book Abby had read, it was better to keep them in the same bassinette, at lest for a little while. "I'll be home soon," he promised them softly.

Abby came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I hate being the one left behind," she confessed in a soft tone.

"I know."

"It's sexist."

"You're still recovering—you're not up to full speed yet."

"It's still sexist."

He smiled; it wasn't the first time for that argument. He tugged her around to the front of him, so he could wrap his arms around her shoulders. "I know."

"All right then. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and fix Christmas!"

* * *

_I can't…_

_Yes you can._

_Not alone_, not any more, not after the last three years… it wasn't fair. _Life isn't fair, and life is the one thing you've got an abundance of, so get used to it,_ his own voice berated him in the dark.

_Jason… Seren…_

"I need you too, Jack," a whisper so soft, so choked with pain, that he hardly heard it. "Jack, you _promised_. You said you'd never leave me." Gentle fingers caressed his hair. "Rydw i'n dy garu di. I love you so much." Another sob was choked back. "Please come back—"

"Ianto?" his body still felt heavy, too heavy to move. He didn't know if he'd managed to speak aloud or not, if he was somewhere perched between life and death, still dreaming… _**please**__…please be real._ Only how could he be real? He'd seen him charge at armed hostiles…

But there were strong arms holding onto him and solid ground beneath his prone body… a scent so familiar...the sounds of gunshots in the not so far distance. Air pushed into his lungs… he opened his eyes, steeling himself…

"Ianto," his voice was hoarse, foreign sounding, even to his own ears.

"I'm here, Cariad," tears trickled down the younger man's soot and blood stained cheeks. It was like he knew how hard he'd fought to stay dead this time.

Jack shuddered again. He shook. He clung more desperately than ever onto his husband's warmth. "Oh God, I was so sure...I thought I'd lost you."

"_Never."_

Jack swallowed. That wasn't true. Someday he would die, he would bury him… _someday, but __**not**__ today. __**Today**_ he was still here. "How long…?" His synapses scrambled to assess situation, to get a handle on where they stood—he scrambled to his feet with his partner's help.

"About ten minutes. Just long enough to scare the crap out of me," the young Welshman managed a small smile, made the effort to laugh just a little. His eyes, however, betrayed exactly how afraid he'd been that he might not come back.

"Sorry about that," Jack began—then he spared the moment it took to press his lips to the other man's mouth, savouring the kiss for as long as he dared. Ianto wrapped his arms around him, holding him for a moment more… he was pretty sure it was a good indication that his apology was accepted.

When they pulled away from each other, Jack looked past him assess the situation more fully (because for the first few moments all he'd cared about was that Ianto was alive and they were out of immediate danger.)

They were back in the alley. Wendy was there, wearing her skin of tooth and claws; Bobby was kneeling over Shane… he was wounded, bleeding from his arm…his leg… his abdomen. It didn't look good.

"I'm all right," the Irishman said when he realized that Jack's attention was on him. They both knew it was a lie, he _wasn't _all right. He wasn't all right at all. It was more than the blood oozing out of his midsection, it was what he'd just witnessed. Jack had been shot. He'd taken five, maybe six rounds and the last one… Shane looked away. The last round had been directly to the back of Jack's head, at nearly point blank range when one of the aliens came up behind him to finish off the kill. He'd watched Jack's gray matter splatter across the pavement… he'd thrown up. Tried to get to him… it was useless, a gut reaction… he'd been shot.

That was when the… when Wendy appeared. He'd never seen… he didn't know… nobody had told him… he hadn't known what was happening, just that this thing out of nightmare and folklore had literally torn a hole through the line of enemy soldiers, snarling and snapping, standing between them and the aliens, taking several rounds it—her—self, in the effort to shelter them.

In the meantime, without seeming to think, Ianto had pulled a couple of guns off the dead invaders, used them… the aliens fell back. Shane had never seen anybody so focused, so determined…so fearless. The look on the Welshman's face… it frightened him almost as much as the monster—Wendy. He had to keep telling himself it was really Wendy.

Then Bobby was there, dragging him back to shelter while the monster—_Wendy_—pulled Jack's body into the alley too. Although he was ashamed, now, to admit it even to himself, all Shane could think when it was happening was that the creature intended to eat Jack's carcass, maybe have a go at the rest of them… but then he heard Ianto call her by name. He watched the other man take what was left of Jack's body and cradle it in his lap, speaking to it like it could hear him, like he wasn't really dead… it had all happened so fast, and yet it was like the whole world was spinning in slow motion and he was sure he was going to throw up again.

"Keep pressure on that," the sound of the medic's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "The slug didn't hit anything vital, but we've got to get him back to the Hub," he said, more to Jack than anybody else. "There's no exit wound, but the bullet—whatever it's made of," he said to Jack's questioning look, "isn't close enough to the surface for me to get at it here." And without knowing what it was made of, it was imperative that they remove it as quickly as possible.

The Captain gave a curt nod, but stepped over to Wendy before answering him. She'd taken several hits that he could see, probably a few that he couldn't—that was the trouble with fur. "We need to get them both back—no arguments," he said sharply as she started to sign her protests at him. "I know you're tougher than most but…" but he wasn't loosing anybody, not today and it would only be a matter of time before another wave of attackers came at them. "Can you shift back?"

Wordlessly, she answered by resuming her human form. "I'm fine, Jack." Her wounds had already begun to heal.

He didn't waste time trying to argue his point. Not for the first time, Jack was thankful he'd managed to get his vortex manipulator working, if only enough to make a short hop. A short hop was all he needed out of it at the moment. (He was also grateful that it was impervious to the sorts of things that took out electrical devices. A quick inspection showed that it was still working perfectly.)

He set the coordinates and stripped it off his wrist, handing it to Ianto, pointedly ignoring the look he gave over. "No arguments from you either," he said. "Get them back to the Hub. Stay there," he added. Teleporting four would be a stretch, but in this form, Wen was light—Shane didn't weigh much, either. They should be able to make it with minimal complications.

"Jack—" Ianto began to argue anyway.

"Consider that an order."

His jaw clenched. But he didn't stay angry for more than a few seconds, not when Jack kissed him like that. "I love you, Jack," he whispered when he could speak again.

"I love you too. That's why I need to know you're safe while I try to figure out what's going on out here."

"What about you?" without his wrist strap…

He smirked. "Mr Indestructible, remember?"

Ianto didn't laugh; he didn't even smile. "That's not funny, Jack."

"I know," he pressed another soft kiss to his husband's forehead. "I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise."


	92. Christmas 2010 pt 4

**A/N:**

First off, thank you again for the postive responses this has gotten!

Secondly, an apology, I know I'm skipping ahead of two other stories in progress with some of the details of this chapter, although some of this was alluded to previously with Kam and Jack... but it was either go ahead and post of finish up at least one of those stories first... I hope you can forgive me for just posting and promising to catch everybody up better later.

* * *

**Chapter Ninety Two:**

**Christmas 2010 (pt 4)**

"_The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them,  
__glory and danger alike,  
__and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it."_

Thucydides

* * *

Jack had set the coordinates so they materialized directly into the medical bay, probably to spare Shane the further physical trauma of having to get down the steps. Just the same, he seemed disoriented and dazed, barely able to stand up; they all a little dazed by the teleport, even Ianto who had done it a couple of times with Jack before. Never very far, his husband mostly used it to get to the tops of buildings since it was quicker than taking the elevator, especially after hours.

"Is everybody all right?" he asked, collecting his wits before the others. He striped off his blood soaked jacket and discarded it. The Hub still seemed to have power. He'd need to run a full systems check to be sure, but there were lights, at least.

A couple of incidents over the last five years had prompted them to put in their own power supply, independent to the rest of the city, as well as to install safe guards against the kind of attack that had taken out Cardiff…possibly the whole country…the world… Ianto forced himself not to worry about that yet. One thing at a time. Here. Now. Shane. Bobby. Wendy.

"Yeah, I think so," the medic answered first. His guts felt twisted up, inside out, but otherwise he felt fine—he grabbed Shane before he fell over. "Ianto—"

"Right," he helped him get Jack's great grandson up onto the table while Wendy grabbed the few supplies she knew Bobby would need straight away; then she went to her locker for clothes.

Ianto stayed behind to assist the medic. While Bobby was looking Shane over, he used the computer terminal in the medical bay to assess the Hub's defences. Everything was in tact, all systems were operational. He breathed easier knowing that they were safe, at least for the moment.

"Shane," Bobby flashed a penlight in his eyes. "Stay with me for just a few more minutes, ok?"

"Yeah. Yeah ok. I think I'm cold." He sounded uncertain of the fact.

"You lost some blood—don't worry, we're going to fix you right up. First though, I'm going to give you something for the pain," he was already preparing the injection. "Then we're going to have to get you out of your clothes."

"I…I'm not sure I'm in pain," he said, surprised. "All I feel is… kind of numb and tingly. Is that normal?" He hadn't really stopped to think about it before. There had been a few moments of intense burning when the first bullet hit… his arm he thought…then his leg…_Jack_…he gulped back a mouth full of bile. He'd been shot. In the head. But then…then it… he… he wasn't dead… He looked up at Ianto; his trousers were covered in Jack's blood. Bits of…

"Just lie back," Bobby instructed. "You're going to be fine. Nice easy breaths—there you go. Wen," he glanced up as she came bounding back down the steps. It looked like she'd barely taken any time to clean up, she'd just gotten dressed. Jeans. A pull over. Her hair tied back. "I need you to start the IV," he told her. He'd given the entire team enough basic first aid training to be useful to him in an emergency. They had a lot of emergencies. He sometimes wondered how his predecessor had managed it, even with a smaller team.

She nodded her acknowledgement of his request.

"Go get cleaned up," he said then in Ianto's direction.

The other man looked down at himself for the first time. He was covered in… right. Although the worst of his partner's injuries had begun healing by the time he'd gotten to him, Jack's head had been split wide open.

He closed his eyes, trying to shut out the world, to lock down his fears, because now that they were safe, now that he knew the Hub was secure, it gave him too much time to think about what had really happened back there. It wasn't just today, his husband's death _today_—it wasn't even how hard Jack had seemed to fight to stay dead this time, although that scared him senseless, because what if Jack really _could _die, what if… what if he _did_ die…? If he left…

Ianto shivered with a memory he'd been trying so hard to forget, a nightmare he never wanted to have again because in it, Jack was _gone_. He'd just found him again, finally, after centuries of searching, but then he was gone and he wasn't coming back. Emptiness… heart numbing pain… He wasn't ever coming back, no matter what Henry said. He couldn't live with that kind of loneliness again, he didn't know how, not after those few brief hours of happiness…real happiness…

For just a moment, everything had been perfect and then… then there was blood, blood everywhere. Jack's head was split wide open and there was blood and gray matter all over the metal deck, just like it had been today, on the pavement only… only he _wasn't _coming back. No matter how loudly he screamed his name into the darkness, he _wasn't_ coming back.

_But someday the last star will go out…_ maybe then they could be together… if death was the only answer, he would embrace it gladly. Anything was better than carrying on alone.

Ianto shook himself. He ran his hands over his unmarred arms. There were no scars, it had never happened, but he could still the glass cutting into his wrists... _just a dream,_ he tried to tell himself. No matter how real it _felt_, it _**wasn't**_ real. Jack had promised, he would never leave him, not ever. He had to believe that.

"Go take a shower," said Bobby in a firm, kind tone, not understanding the real reason for his pained expression—Ianto hadn't told anybody but his husband about the nightmares he'd had for months after looking into that box. (He might never tell his partner, but he was grateful to John Hart for stealing the damned thing—maybe he would drop it in a black hole somewhere.)

He forced a smile and nodded his thanks before heading up the steps to get cleaned up. He rubbed his thumb over the smooth band of platinum on his finger. _I will always love you. I will never forget you. _Jack's promise. Someday the stars _would_ go out, "and when they do, I'll be there waiting for you," he said softly. "No matter what happens, I'll find you. I'll keep on finding you, even if…" even if it meant he'd have to lose him again. _Because I need you, too, Jack Harkness._

Before going for a much needed shower, he stopped by his desk. Jack was out there somewhere doing what he could to figure out what was happening, the least he could do was help him from his end.

He'd just begun his search for information when the alarm attached to one of the back entrances went off. Ianto swore under his breath, wondering what now… a wave of relief flooded over him when he pulled up the security feed from that corridor—

"Yan?" Wendy was already at the top of the stairs leading up from the medical bay. "I heard the alarm—"

"It's all right, it's Tim."

She nodded, sagging just with relief herself, grateful that the Hub's security hadn't been compromised. Then, "The city…?"

"The disruption seems to be contained to Cardiff," _so far_. His best guess was that it was a battlefield tactic, something designed to take out their defences… in that respect, it was working pretty well. From what they'd seen on the streets, police and emergency services were in a state of pandemonium. "How's Shane?" he asked her over his shoulder, having gone back to work. He had just realized that he should contact Martha, get her working on things from her end—assure her that they were all still alive, because news of the attack had already hit CNN. _Why is it that the bloody newscasters are always ahead of emergency responders_, he wondered…

"Bobby's located the bullet in his in his stomach and is getting ready to remove it. There's some internal bleeding, but he's pretty sure he'll be ok." Fortunately for all of them, Bobby was an exceptional surgeon.

"All right," he nodded at her to go back down to help the medic while he called Martha and outlined the situation to her; he was just hanging up when Tim came in.

"It's good to see you," he greeted his fellow archivist with a genuinely warm smile. "I need you to take over here. I'm searching for the aliens ship, hoping it will give us some idea of what we're dealing with out there. So far we don't even know if the species in our database. We weren't able to get a good look at them, body armour," he explained. And humanoid, a little on the tall side, didn't narrow down the search by much.

"You've got it Boss," said Tim as he slid in, in front of the computer terminal.

"How's Abby?" Ianto asked before taking his leave.

He smiled at him over his shoulder. "She may kill me later for leaving her."

Ianto chuckled. "I'll be back in a tick," he promised. Tim was already expanding his search, calling up additional satellite images… he hated to leave at all, but he really did need to get out his clothes, rinse his face. He wasn't going to take the time for a proper washing up, just…

His first indication that something was amiss in the locker room was that all the lights were off (they usually kept a light or two on, just so a person could see when they came in.) He flipped the switch—and heard the soft click of a revolver. The lights didn't go on, either.

Ianto swallowed hard and turned around… "Sam?"

The boy was shaking.

"Sam, it's me," he whispered into the darkness. He couldn't tell if he recognized him or not; Sam was shaking so hard he feared the gun might go off accidently, never mind that Sam had it pointed at his head and looked very much as if he was considering intentionally pulling the trigger.

"Sam, listen to me," he said, moving slowly, keeping his hands where the other could see them. "It's me, it's Ianto." This was the first time he'd ever seen the boy's eyes their natural colour, a deep shade of luminescent amber. His skin seemed to have taken on a slightly greenish hue too—his physical defences were slipping, he wasn't able to effectively mask his true appearance.

"They've come for me," he said. Tears trickled down his cheeks.

Ianto shook his head. "We don't know that. We don't even know who it is that's out there. Besides, there's just one of you—nobody would send dozens, maybe hundreds of troops after one person."

"Not just me. A whole bunch of us came here, it's just that I'm the only one who survived. They don't know that. They want us back. I can't go back," he was crying harder.

"That's not going to happen, but you have to give me that before somebody gets hurt. Please…trust me." But when took a step towards him, Sam raised the gun pointing it directly at the bridge of his nose. "Sam," Ianto said in a stern voice. "Put that down. _Now_."

Gulping, he did as he was told, setting it on the bench in front of the lockers; his eyes were wide and had become pale yellow, a physical reaction to his fear and embarrassment. He skittered further away from the Welshman. "You know. He told you. Jack—he said he wouldn't tell anybody, he said—"

"Jack told me," he leant over and picked the gun up. He eased the safety back into place. "But nobody else knows, I promise."

"Please—please don't…"

"No one is going to hurt you. And I'm sorry," he added. He kept his tone even, gentle as he laid the gun well out of the frightened boy's reach. "Come here—please," it wasn't an order.

Which was why he stayed where he was, trembling, hugging himself tightly with scrawny arms.

"You trust Jack, right?"

The boy nodded without hesitation.

"You can trust me too. You can trust all of us—no one here would ever let anybody hurt you. You're a part of our family."

"Family? Me? I just pick after you. I run out for pizza and coffee when you need me to. I take care of the tourist shop. I'm nobody."

"That's not true and you know it."

"I'm not even human."

"Doesn't matter," he eased himself slowly forward; Sam hadn't stopped shaking, but he wasn't retreating further away, either. He stayed where he was until Ianto was able to pull him into his arms. "It's going to be all right," he said.

Something about his helplessness, his hopelessness, struck a cord in the young Welshman that he didn't fully understand. It brought back memories of something that hadn't even happened…_not yet, anyway…_ he swallowed hard and held on tight. Nobody should ever have to be as scared as Sam was now. "It's going to be all right, I promise," he soothed. "Just give me a couple of minutes to get changed, ok?"

"Yeah. Yeah, ok."

* * *

"I've got something," Tim said to Ianto, when he—and Sam—returned to the main area of the Hub. He decided against asking what Sam had been doing in the locker rooms. The kid looked terrified.

"What is it?" the Welshman asked; he came to stand behind Tim so he could get a better look at the monitor. Sam found a corner to hide in.

"Satellite feed," he answered. "I've located the alien ship. It's outside the city—near Barry."

He took a breath and let it out. "All right. I need you to get into Jack's personal database and check that ship against any information you can find there on the Caxtarid—alternate name Ke Caxari."

"Jack's…" not even Abby could access the Captain's personal files without a password. He knew. She'd tried.

Ianto leant over and whispered something into his ear. "It's not as sexual as you think," he added with a wry smile.

Tim blinked. "Is that all word?"

"Yup."

"Right." He typed it in, hoping that Ianto was telling the truth about it not being some weird sexual kink… there were some things he did not want to know about his bosses' sex life. Actually, there was _nothing_ wanted to know about his bosses' sex life. "This shouldn't take long," he began once he got into the database. Everything was surprisingly well organized. And he realized that Ianto half way across the Hub at the armoury. He was pulling out some very large weapons. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to find Jack." Because there was no way he was going to leave him out there alone and unarmed.


	93. Christmas 2010 pt 5

**A/N:**

So, obviously after this has taken shape, I've realized it's not a "short story"… my apologies for that (I remember a few early complaints that these pieces weren't really all that short.) It truly did start out as something very different… but hopefully you'll continue to like the direction it's taken. (And again, apologies for 'jumping over' one story in particular that seems permanently stalled. I really do have the notion that I'm going to get back to everything I've left hanging and finish them up "soon".)

**_Huge thanks to everybody who has continued to read and support my work!_**

* * *

**Chapter Ninety Three:**

**Christmas 2010 (pt 5)**

"_It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."_

Dr Carl Sagan

* * *

Finding Jack was easy, his body emitted a unique 'signature', compliments of those fifty first century genetics of his (not that Jack hadn't chalked it up to other factors when he was showing his husband the basic functions of his wrist strap. It was little wonder Tim had presumed the Captain's password was a sexual reference. Nearly everything with Jack came back to sex. Thankfully, however, bananas had rarely entered into it and certainly not in the way it looked as if the American was thinking they had… although Jack had a remarkable tolerance for cold and he did make a lovely dish for whatever sort of food his partner wanted to eat off of him, including the occasional banana split. As long as he fed Jack the strawberry parts, he didn't complain a bit about being tied down for it, either. Dishes that squirmed around too much weren't nearly as much fun as dishes that lay there quietly and enjoyed themselves…)

At the moment, however, banana splits were the furthest thing from the young Welshman's mind because finding Jack was only half the battle—the easy half. Jack was surrounded by as many as a dozen of what Ianto presumed to be Kapteynians, mostly owing to the wings, although the rest of the description in the Captain's files seemed to fit as well. They stood close to a metre and a half tall, and although they were far more bird like than lizard like, he suspected that they were the source of the winged lizard sightings in Barry. (Neither Kapteynians nor Ke Caxtari, were a part of the Torchwood database, but they were in Jack's personal files, information he wanted to be certain never left the Torchwood Institute—information he'd never shared with of the Institute's former employees. Ianto shuddered to think what a woman like Yvonne Hart would have done with it.)

According to Jack, the Kapteynians were one of a great multitude of sentient species to have evolved on a single planet in the Kapteyn system—_it was beautiful,_ he'd added in an almost wistful sounding tone. _At least it **was** beautiful before the Caxtraids arrived. _They'd enslaved every sentient creature on the planet—or nearly all of them. Jack said a few species were wiped out, others managed to cut deals with the invaders, selling out their neighbours.

_That's what the Caxtarids do, their entire culture, if you can call it that, is based on slavery, torture, _his partner had told him with disdain. They were responsible not only for enslaving the peoples of the Kapteynians' homeworld, but the peoples hundreds of other worlds through out the galaxy as well, including Sam's home planet—his original home planet, not the place he'd actually grown up, because his people had been in servitude for generations.

Jack had 'cheated', he'd looked up Sam's homeworld while they were in the fiftieth century to have Seren, because it was a planet he'd never heard of before and there was just something about the boy… he discovered that he'd never heard of Sam's planet or his race before because they no longer existed. They were a mere footnote in history.

His partner told him that they were described in the database as a 'genetically pliant' species. In just few generations, the Caxtarids were able to turn into 'perfect' slaves, a people who would never be free because their own DNA kept them under their masters' control. Sam's desire to serve, to please others, was more than just his need to fit in, to find acceptance on a strange planet, shelter with people who genuinely cared for him. He was nearly incapable of defying authority—and Ianto felt like shit for using that against him, especially when he was as frightened as he'd been, realizing the kind of courage it must have taken him to run away in the first place—but when having to chose between that and possibly getting shot… he hoped Sam would forgive him eventually.

But for right now, what he needed was to get to Jack because regardless of why the Ke Caxtari were there, he didn't want them to stick around. _Now let's just hope this works… _

* * *

Jack had found himself in any number of uncomfortable situations through out the centuries. Daleks, Cybermen… **_in-laws_**_,_ he mused ruefully, mostly trying to keep his own spirits up. He reminded himself that large saucer-eyed birds weren't anywhere near the worst things he'd ever had to face down, even if at the moment he was feeling a bit boxed in. Still, something was bound to present itself, something always did… which didn't make him any more prepared for the bright flash and loud bang that followed seconds after the small round grenade landed at his feet. He barely had enough time to process what it was before his knees buckled under him and he saw his Welshman, a cavalry of one, charging to the rescue…

* * *

"What the Hell are you doing here?" Jack demanded in an angry tone; he wasn't sure entirely certain how he had gotten to the shelter of another alleyway, he just knew that there he was, lying on the ground, with Ianto peering around the corner, one of the large pulse rifles from the armoury gripped tight in his hands, another slung over his shoulder. He had only the vaguest of memories of a flash-bang grenade, which explained the ringing in his ears and why he was seeing spots, why he still felt a little too disoriented to stand up. It also explained why he couldn't clearly recall how he'd gotten from where he'd been to where he was. What it _didn't_ explain was the presence of someone he'd ordered to get to the Hub and stay there.

"I'm rescuing you," his partner hissed in retort to his sharp tone. Seeming to be satisfied that nothing was pursuing them, the Welshman abandoned his post and came to kneel next to the older man. "Shane is going to be fine, by the way. Bobby was about to remove the bullet when I left. There's been a little internal bleeding, but nothing too serious."

"I told you to stay put!"

"You're welcome," he answered Jack's snarl in a dry tone. "And I brought you this," he added, handing the other man's wrist strap to him. "I thought you might need it."

Jack snatched it from his hand with a scowl and fastened it around his wrist. "I didn't need rescuing. I was doing _fine_."

"Not bloody likely."

He ignored the comment. "I wanted you _safe_," he reminded him.

"Jack, if we're being invaded by Ke Caxrari, nowhere is safe and you know it. The Hub hasn't been compromised," he said quickly to the look of concern that clouded over the older man's already darkened features.

"Are you sure it's the Caxtarids?" he wanted to know. It was a safe bet, given the presence of the Kapteynians, but still…

"Pretty sure. Tim found their ship—"

"He's supposed to be with Abby!" _What is this, mutiny? _he wondered. Was **_nobody_** going to obey his orders any more?

"I'm sure she can handle herself, Cariad," said Ianto.

His expression darkened further.

"What, you'd prefer it if I started calling you Captain, now?" the younger man responded to his sour grimace to with an equally sour tone.

"If you want to get technical, we _are _on the clock. That's _supposed _to mean I'm in command."

"Yes, Sir. Whatever you say, **_Sir,_**" he snapped.

His tone sliced through him. "Ianto, I—"

He waved the apology aside. "Do you think we could save the world first and argue about what I should call you later?" he asked, his tone still icy.

Jack swallowed. "I just don't want to lose you out here," he confessed.

His husband's expression softened. "I know. Me either. Here," he handed over the larger of the two riffles.

"I thought you like playing with the big guns," Jack managed to tease, despite the terse words they'd just exchanged and the persistent cold feeling at the pit of his gut, the memory from earlier of being so sure…

"I only like handling certain big guns. _Sir_." This time there was nothing but good humour in his tone and expression. (It faded quickly as they prepared to get back to the business at hand, but it was enough for Jack to know that he would forgive him, they would forgive each other. Ianto's life was too short, his was too long, for them not to.)

"The aliens' ship is in Barry," the younger man went on. "I've already set the coordinates for you," he nodded at the wrist strap.

"I suppose you're going to insist on coming with me?" he tried not to sound as unhappy about that as he felt.

"Well, somebody has to be around to rescue you. Might as well be me since I'm already out here, don't you think?"

He nodded despite his trepidation. He knew this was one argument he wouldn't win even if he had time to engage in it. "All right," he got to his feet; Ianto followed suit. "Hang on."


	94. Christmas 2010 pt 6

**A/N:**

Sorry so short again... and thank you so much for the reviews! I hope everybody had a safe and happy New Year!

* * *

**Chapter Ninety Four:**

**Christmas 2010 (pt 6)**

"_Faith is necessary to victory."_

William Hazlitt

* * *

"Oh God, it's good to see you!" Gwen threw her arms around Jack's neck and held on tight—an instant later she pulled Ianto into her embrace as well, so that she was clinging onto both of them.

"We've been trying to get through for almost an hour," Mickey reported, a bit more calmly. "The comms aren't dead, but…?" he ended in a shrug.

"We haven't been able to reach anyone in Cardiff," said Sara. Her expression was grim; they'd been forced to assume the worst, that they were all that was left.

"The grid's down—everything really," Ianto told her. "They're probably jamming cell signals as well. The Hub's defences seem to be holding, though. We've been in touch with Martha. She's not sending anybody down from London yet, but they're ready if we need them. So far the attack seems to be centred on Cardiff."

"What about UNIT?" Mickey wanted to know.

Jack made a sour face. He'd made no secret of the fact that he wasn't over UNIT's handling—mishandling—of the situation last year. Unless he got a say in exactly who they sent, he didn't want their help, not today, anyway.

"How bad is the city?" asked Gwen.

"We haven't checked in with anybody," Ianto told her in a steady tone that did a fair job of hiding his own concerns, his fears. They all had family in Cardiff. Rhys, Gil, Nerys and Remy, the rest of his family, his and Jack's kids… "So far the aliens' efforts seem to be concentrated near the quay." And if anyone could keep Jason and Seren safe, it was Ella—Rhys knew how to handle himself in an invasion. For that matter, so did Sara's husband. Nerys would be all right; she would keep Remy safe.

"What have you three got for us?" asked Jack, bringing their attention back to things they could actually do something about.

"We found the ship," said Mickey. "It's just over that rise—looks big enough for a hundred, maybe a hundred and fifty troops," he speculated. "They're heavily armed, but I haven't seen anything like tanks or anything, so I think they're using a transmat beam to get back and forth to Cardiff. We've seen two kinds of aliens," he added.

"Caxtarids and Kapteynians," said Jack.

"You know what they are, then?" the other man asked.

Jack nodded. "Yeah. I've run into Caxtarids before," he gave them the same quick and dirty history lesson he'd given Ianto.

"What do they want with Earth?" Sara asked; she was as visibly shaken as the others by the prospect of interplanetary slave traders suddenly taking notice of their planet.

Jack and Ianto exchanged glances. Finally, "Sam thinks they're here for him," the younger man answered.

"Why?" Sara wondered.

There was another moment of hesitation.

"If there's something we need to know, Jack," said Gwen in a warning tone. It wasn't as if they didn't know that Sam was some kind of refugee…

"It's possibly they traced Sam here," he told her. "He probably belonged to them, or maybe to one of the species they have dealings with." He tried very hard to hedge around the truth.

Sara and Gwen both looked sickened, although it certainly explained a lot about his demeanour.

"How long have you known about this?" Gwen wanted to know.

Before Jack could answer, Mickey cut her off with a more practical question:

"A hundred troops for one kid, Cap?" he said. "I mean—he's not some long lost heir to a galactic throne or something?"

Jack smirked, "You've been reading too much science fiction," he teased.

Mickey scoffed; the truth was that once upon a time he'd loved science fiction. Flash Gordon. Jules Verne. Red Dwarf (ok, so it wasn't exactly the Star Wars Saga....) But then he met the Doctor and took a trip in a real time machine, saw what the future was really going to be like… "I'm just sayin', that's an awful lotta troops for one kid."

The immortal man nodded, "I agree. Even if they think more than just him made it here—"

"In other words you have no idea why they're here," said Gwen.

Jack just shrugged.

"So what's our next move?" asked Sara.

The Captain took a breath. Let it out. He hadn't thought that many steps ahead. "I need a distraction…"

* * *

"Tell me again why it is that Earth keeps getting invaded by aliens," said Ianto, rolling over to face Jack; they were hunkered down at the top of a hill—well, it wasn't so much a hill really as a glorified mound of dirt covered over with grass—wet cold grass—but it provided a small amount of cover, just so long as no Kapteynians happened to be flying overhead. It also gave them a very clear view of the aliens' ship. Mickey was right, it looked like it could hold between a hundred and a hundred and fifty troops. A dozen or so were stationed outside the open hatch, presumably on guard detail.

"Haven't you said that we're still a class five planet, strictly off limits?" the Welshman persisted when Jack didn't answer his question right away—not that he actually understood exactly what that was supposed to mean, especially since nobody seemed to pay any attention to the edict anyway. "Isn't somebody out there supposed to enforce—I don't know, galactic codes or something?" he wanted to know.

"If you want to get technical, this isn't an invasion, it's just one ship and not a very big one. Besides," he went on, before his husband could continue. "If you think these guys are a pain, you should try dealing with the police."

"The police? You mean like galactic police?" Jack had to be kidding.

He just shrugged. "More like thugs with badges," he said.

"Well whatever they are, they're not doing a very good job. Somebody seriously ought to write a letter of complaint."

"You know, you're kinda cute when you get all worked up."

"That, Sir, is definitely harassment," the younger man pointed out.

Jack chuckled. "Come on, the others should be in place by now," he rolled part way down the incline before getting to his feet. It was time for him to play his part.

Ianto was just behind him. He wasn't particularly keen on his partner's plan, but being unable to think of anything better, he had no choice but to go along with it. "Just do me a favour and try not to get yourself killed twice in one night, alright?" he said by way of parting. Although he'd meant it as a joke, a continuation of the banter they'd both been enjoying, Jack wasn't smiling when turned to face him. Ianto swallowed. "For a few minutes there…" he admitted, even though couldn't quite finish his sentence.

Jack didn't seem to need him to. "We'll talk later," he promised. Then he grinned. "Like you said, save the world first, argue later, right?"

"Right. Hey," he caught the other's hand before he ran off. "I love you." It was almost a question, his tone brought on by the nagging doubts, fears, he been unable to fully shake since the he looked into that box.

Jack spared the moment it took to press a firm kiss to his husband's lips. "I love you too. Don't you ever forget that."

He swallowed back the lump in his throat. "I won't." He just wished that had sounded a little less like 'good bye'.

_He'll come back for me,_ the young Welshman told himself as he watched Jack making his way towards the alien ship.

As soon as the grenades went off, distracting and disorienting the guards, he darted towards the ramp and up into the ship… _if anything goes wrong, I don't want you in the middle of it, Sweetheart,_ he'd said when Ianto objected to his going alone. _Please, promise me you won't follow me this time. I can't die. You can. I'll be back. You have my word. I will __**always**__ come back for you._

S

S


	95. Christmas 2010 pt 7

**A/N:**

Well, I just finished watching End of Time pt. 2 for the second time… I have mixed feelings about it, especially the ending (Jack's bit) and it felt as if a lot of things weren't explained very well… that's all I'm going to say for now, don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it (other than I hope Matt Smith is as brilliant in his season as he was during his few minutes on the screen because I think I'm going to like him!)

I'd hoped that this would be closer to the last chapter of this one, but, well….

* * *

**Chapter Ninety Five:**

**Christmas 2010 (pt 7)**

"_Be careful what you wish for—  
you just might get it."_

Annon.

* * *

Watching Jack vanish into the darkened interior of the aliens' ship, the young Welshman couldn't help the cold feeling of fear that knotted up his gut. He was sure that something was about to go horribly wrong… he shook himself. Jack would be fine. The only thing bothering him was the lingering fear brought about by the nightmares of the last eight months, nightmares that had finally started to subside before tonight, before he'd seen Jack's head shot open. But nightmares weren't real, they were just bad dreams. Bad dreams couldn't hurt him.

He hurried to where he knew Gwen, Mickey and Sara were waiting. Waiting was all they could do—Jack was off to play the hero and he was left on the sidelines, where he wouldn't get in the way…

He shook himself again. He knew that wasn't how Jack thought of him. Was it?

Ianto swallowed hard, but the lump in his throat wouldn't go down—he made his way back to the rendezvous point anyway. He was barely aware that he had reached up to touch the pendant he always wore through the fabric of his shirt.

_I will always love you. I will never forget you._

"Don't forget to empty the bins," his breath came out in little white puffs in the cold night air. He knew he wasn't the first person Jack had ever loved, he wouldn't be the last, _but at least for right now I'm the one he's with. _That was good enough.

* * *

Jack scurried to find shelter—fortunately, it was easy to find a hiding spot in the darkened, cluttered loading bay. He ducked for cover just as a squadron of about a dozen Caxtarids rushed towards the gang plank to join their comrades outside—he held his breath… no one seemed to have noticed him. Outside there was shouting—but no weapons fire. He had to believe that meant his team hadn't been discovered, that they were safe. Ianto… On the one hand he was furious with him for disobeying a direct order and on the other, he loved him all the more because he was one of the bravest men he'd ever met. He'd had every excuse to stay back where it was safe…_but he never would._ He wouldn't leave anyone out in the cold, even a man who couldn't die.

Warmed by the thought of his beautiful Welshman, Jack flipped open his wrist strap…there were no life signs his the immediate vicinity. _Thank goodness for small favours… _He scanned the crates he'd ducked behind. Weapons. No real surprise there. Since he had left the pulse riffle Ianto brought for him with Mickey, he quietly liberated a few of the Caxtards' own guns from the crate he'd just scanned. The design was simple enough; he smirked and shouldered a pair of riffles.

Outside, it sounded like things were dying down; it wouldn't take them long to realize that the attack was only meant as a distraction. _Right, time to get moving._

He slid from shadow to shadow until he was deeper inside the loading bay, further from the door…further from the outside. From his team. His husband... those blue grey eyes, beautiful Welsh vowels, the way he.... _Job first, Ianto later_, he reminded himself. Besides, technically Ianto was still mad at him…although there was the potentila there for make-up sex…lots of make-up sex. _Job __**first**__._

He flipped his wrist strap back open took another scan of the area hoping… he grinned. Things were going almost _too_ well—there was a computer terminal not far from his new hiding spot. If he could access the ship's log, _should be easy enough for a fifty first century guy like me_, he reckoned, he could ascertain what the Caxtarids wanted on earth and figure out what to do about it—

Movement…boots on metal… he crouched down in the dark and held his breath again, gripping one of the liberated riffles tight in his hands, ready to shoot his way out if necessary… but again, they aliens passed by his hiding place as they returned to the main body of the ship.

Jack waited until he was sure he was alone once more before peering cautiously out into the loading bay—nothing jumped out at him or shoved the wrong end of a gun in his face. But there were two guards stationed at the door. They were facing away from him.

He took a breath and let it out, then he slipped as quietly as he could away from the (relative) safety of his hiding spot to look for the computer terminal, hoping…

_Yes! _the terminal was tucked into a corner completely obscured from both the entrance and the exit, probably so that whomever was accessing whatever information they needed get at wouldn't be disturbed by the comings and goings of the loading area.

He had just accessed the mission logs when he his luck ran out. Cold hard metal, the very wrong end of a riffle, was shoved into his spine. Slowly, Jack raised his hands over his head, the universal gesture for I surrender'.

* * *

_Twelve minutes, twenty eight seconds… _and counting. Twelve and a half minutes had never seemed like such an eternity before. Ianto looked back down at his watch… _twelve minutes, forty nine seconds_… and **still** counting. He glanced up to see the others watching him. He swallowed. He was acting like…like he didn't know what, but it was childish. He shoved his hands into his pockets and forced a grim smile at his colleagues. Jack would be fine, they just had to wait. _On the sidelines… _

"Everything will be all right," said Sara. Jack's plan was simple, he would hack into their system, find out what they wanted and then find a way back out again. Once they had solid information, they could formulate a plan of attack.

"He'll be back in no time," agreed Gwen.

"Bugger," Mickey swore under his breath.

Gwen and Sara both looked at him silently—angrily—demanding an explanation (a lesser man would have easily wilted under their combined glare). Ianto looked in the direction of Mickey's gaze instead, and immediately understood the other man's curse. The knot in his stomach tightened into a solid ball of ice. The ship descending from the night sky was big. Really big. Really, really black. And it looked like it was going land right on top of them.

"It's a Judoon patrol ship," Mickey identified the alien craft first—by then both Gwen and Sara had seen it too. "Torchwood had a few run-ins with Judoon on the other side," he explained; he had worked for Torchwood for five years in a parallel universe and had seen entirely too much of the Judoon.

"What are Judoon?" Gwen wanted to know.

"Thugs with badges," he told her, not knowing he was echoing Jack's earlier description to Ianto of the 'galactic police'. "They're probably here for the Caxtarids."

"But Jack's on that ship," Gwen pointed out the obvious.

"We have to warn him," Ianto was already tapping his comm—all he got was static.

At almost the same instant, a beam of light, or perhaps energy of some other sort, came down from the Judoon ship, illuminating the Caxtarid vessel and everything around it, nearly blotting it out, drowning it in brightness… it took all of Mickey's strength to hold Ianto back.

The Caxtarid ship and the crewmen outside it vanished. The light was gone. The Judoon vessel lifted away from the field and disapeared into the night sky.

Ianto sunk to the cold ground, just barely biting back a sob. Not again… not twice in on day.

"It was transmat beam," Mickey told him, told Gwen and Sara, because they were just as shaken as Jack's partner. His voice pitched a little too close to panic to fool the others into believing that he wasn't worried their Captain. "It was just a transmat," he repeated. Jack was all right, he wasn't dead.

"But they could be anywhere!" Gwen shouted.

"He'll figure out how to get back to us," said Sara. "He won't just leave us. He wouldn't dare."

Ianto looked up at her, forced a tight lipped smile. She was right. He wouldn't leave them. _He loves us too much—he loves all of us._ "We have to get back to Cardiff."

"What about Jack!" demanded Gwen.

"It's what he would want us to do, start picking up the pieces. It's all we can do. We can't follow them. He'll be back." _We just have to wait…_


	96. Christmas 2010 pt 8

**A/N:**

Thank you again for the many wonderful reviews and couple of little private messages I've gotten. I really appreciate it. I've been asked by several people what if anything I'm going to do with _End of Time_… the answer is yes. It's too important a chapter in the Doctor's saga not to weave into this AU, I'm just not certain what I'm doing yet, at least not with **most** of it...

Also, honestly, if I'd had any idea it was going to turn into something this long, I would have posted it as its own story… believe it or not, the whole thing was supposed to start on Christmas morning with only vague references to Shane seeing Jack get killed the night before. Oops... it really is winding down, even if it doesn't look like it.

* * *

**Chapter Ninety Six:**

**Christmas 2010 (pt 8)**

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together,  
there is something you must always remember.  
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem,  
and smarter than you think.  
But the most important thing is, even if we're apart,  
I'll always be with you."

Winnie the Pooh

* * *

With the Caxtarids gone, power and phone operations had been restored to normal in Cardiff. Tim's voice over the phone was cold comfort to his colleagues, however.

"There was a second ship—"

"I know," Ianto cut him off. "Can you track it?" _please say yes, tell me it's still in orbit, that we still have a chance to save him… _

The long pause on the other end was almost too much to endure. Tim's next words were even harder to bear. "I lost it. It's gone," he sounded as helpless as Ianto felt. "I could try Sarah Jane, see if Mr Smith can track it, but at the rate it was moving..."

He could hear Tim moving anyway, probably already starting to place the call. "No. No, that's ok," he lied, swallowing back the sob rising in his throat. Jack would be all right. He would find a way back. He'd promised. He had never, broken a single promise, not ever.

"Ianto?" Tim's voice brought him back to where he was, sitting in the passenger side of Mickey's jeep, speeding down the motorway, heading back to Cardiff… being slowly consumed by a cold dark feeling of helplessness.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm still here," he told him. He glanced up, saw the expectant looks on Gwen's and Sara's faces; he shook his head to convey that there was nothing they could do—Jack was gone.

There was another pause on the other end before Tim asked him what had happened out there.

"That second ship you picked up was a Judoon patrol ship. They teleported the Ke Caxtari vessel off the planet."

"That's good news though, isn't it?" the other asked over the line.

"Yeah. Yeah. It is. Except that Jack was on the Caxtarids' ship when it was taken."

* * *

Before the guard who had discovered the interloper could do much more than demand that he identify himself (not that _Captain Jack Harkness, Torchwood_ really meant a whole lot to the Ke Caxtari), the ship was locked in a transmat beam. A moment later, it was teleported onto the Judoon vessel—seconds after that, the loading deck was overrun by armed Judoon soldiers in heavy black body armour, barking orders.

_Stand down… lower your weapons… this ship is in violation… crew under arrest…_

By the time it was over, it was all a blur to Jack. He surrendered his pilfered riffles without hesitation—pissing off a bunch of heavily armed rhinocerid aliens was _not _the ideal way to end what was already stacking up to be a very bad day. Better to do what he was told for now and figure out where they were headed—and more importantly how to get back home—after the Judoon were confident that they had contained the situation.

What he hadn't expected was that they would so easily be able to peg his wrist strap as 'technology out of place'.

"You will surrender that device at once," said the Judoon who was inspecting the detainees, most likely sweeping for hidden weapons. So far they hadn't even seemed to notice that he was neither Caxtarid nor Kapteynian, although it was rather painfully obvious that he didn't belong on the Ke Caxtari ship.

"What, this?" he tried for innocent. "It's nothing, just a little trinket I picked up at a Grateful Dead concert…"

"**You will surrender that device at once.**"

"Right." He stripped off his wrist and handed it over, albeit reluctantly. It wasn't so much the Judoon's tone as it was the gun in his face that had gotten his attention, his cooperation. "I don't suppose I could get a receipt for that… didn't think so," he grumbled to the alien's back.

Then he felt the engines surge under his feet and realized with a desperate, horrible, sinking feeling of helplessness that by the time he was finally dumped unceremoniously into a tiny holding cell, the ship was at least half way to the next star system and there was _nothing_ he could do about it. Even if they hadn't taken his wrist strap, there was no way he could have gotten that far of a jump out of it. He was stuck.

Jack slumped against the smooth, cold metal of the cell's dark wall and let himself slide to the floor; there wasn't even so much as a bench to sit on, not that he cared about creature comforts at the moment. It could take hours—maybe even days—for the Judoon commander to get around to questioning him. Even when he did, there was no guarantee that he would be able to convince them to take him back to Earth—in fact it was more likely they wouldn't. His vortex manipulator wasn't Earth technology, at least not in the current era. The Judoon probably wouldn't know to make of it. That meant they would assume he was as much an intruder as the Caxtarids, that he'd violated the conventions of the Shadow Proclamation. Which he supposed on a technicality was true, the Time Agency had tended to operate outside of Galactic Law most of the time—he had operated outside the law most of the time himself, even after leaving the Agency. _Especially_ after leaving it.

It wouldn't matter to the Judoon that Earth was the only home he'd had since his time with the Doctor, that that had been the first real home he'd had since he was a boy… since he'd lost his brother…his father.

_Jason… _his thoughts fell immediately to his own son… his daughter. _Ianto._

He swallowed back the lump in his throat. He knew what the Judoon were most likely to do with him. They made it a practice to pass judgment and carry out the sentence according to the letter of the law efficiently and expeditiously. Trials were unnecessary, there were no lawyers and no real reason to even bother listening to what the accused had to say for himself.

_Doesn't matter,_ he told himself. He couldn't die. They would dump his body off somewhere and then he would find a way home.

Somehow.

_Just please be there when I get back Sweetheart,_ he begged silently in his Welshman's direction. _Don't give up on me. I'll come home, I promise I'll come home, no matter what it takes. I'll come back for you. I will __**always**__ come back for you, for all of you… _

"I love you so much," he whispered aloud. "I love you all so very much. And I am so sorry. This isn't how I wanted today to turn out."

* * *

No one spoke to Ianto the rest of the way back to Cardiff. So he sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window at the night sky, wondering… praying.

Eventually he heard Gwen calling Rhys; she kept the conversation unusually short and her tone was devoid of its usual liveliness. She told him she loved him, asked him to kiss the kids for her and said she'd see him soon and then hung up, a look of guilt plaguing her features.

Sara didn't call Gil, but he called her—she assured him that they were fine and she would see him when they got back, explain everything then.

"You should call Nerys," Ianto said to Mickey a few moments later.

"I—you know her, she probably slept through the whole thing," he tried very hard to laugh. It wasn't working very well.

Ianto forced a weak smile anyway. "Yeah…but…still…you should call."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right," he reached for his phone.

Ianto returned his gaze to the night sky. Jack was out there somewhere. _Please come home to me, Cariad. I love you so much. I'm not sure I can do this alone._


	97. Christmas 2010 pt 9

**A/N:**

Special thanks to Village-Mystic for an excellent idea :)

* * *

**Chapter Ninety Seven:**

**Christmas 2010 (pt 9)**

"_Until one feels the spirit of Christmas, there is no Christmas.  
All else is outward display - so much tinsel and decorations.  
For it isn't the holly, it isn't the snow. It isn't the tree, not the firelight's glow.  
It's the warmth that comes to the heart"_

Author Unknown

*** * ***

"_Time is free, but it's priceless.  
You can't own it, but you can use it.  
You can't keep it, but you can spend it.  
__Once you've lost it you can never get it back."_

Harvey McKay

* * *

"Look," Gwen pointed to a knot of roving pedestrians carrying torches and candles—Mickey had just exited the motorway. "Carollers!" she grinned widely at her compatriots. It wasn't just the people out singing, it was the lights, everywhere, every twinkling, brightly coloured bulb in the city seemed to be glowing. It was beautiful.

Heartbreaking.

Mickey swore under his breath. "It's nearly two o'clock in the morning! What the Hell are bloody carollers doing out at this hour?" People with sense were in bed sleeping. It didn't appear as if very many people in Cardiff had any sense at the moment.

"It's _Christmas_," Gwen told him.

"They're happy," Ianto supplied the real answer softly. "They my not know what happened, but they know something did. They know they survived it, that they're safe—" but the lump in his throat made it suddenly very difficult to speak. _Christmas will come tomorrow morning with children opening presents, sleepy eyed parents… people off to church… families sitting down to dinner together. _Jack had planned a huge meal for them, goose and a standing rib roast, potatoes, all the trimmings… Christmas pudding… God it scared him when he lit it…

Sara leant forward and placed a gentle and on his shoulder, but Ianto couldn't look at her. Instead, he turned his gaze out window, past the carollers and the coloured lights, up at to stars.

_Please look after him out there. Keep him safe. Let him come home to me. I know some people say You don't approve of people us—of two men, I mean, because let's face it, Jack isn't really like anybody else—but I guess You know that. But I __**have**__ to believe You had a hand in this—in him and me being together, because otherwise how else could I have met him? It was so—impossible. A pterodactyl? Most people get set up by friends or meet at a coffee shop or something… he wasn't even born in this century! So I have to believe that You're really ok with us, otherwise I wouldn't feel the way I do, I wouldn't love him so very much. So please, __**please **__don't take him away from me now. I know it's not up to someone like me to say what's fair, but…_

"Sweetheart…" Gwen's voice cut through his silent prayer.

"It's all right," he lied, ignoring the stabbing pain in his gut. He wiped the trickle of moisture from his cheeks. He hadn't even felt himself crying.

"We'll find him," said Sara. "There has to be a way to track them down. We're _**not**_ giving up."

Ianto nodded. He tried to smile, but he couldn't make himself do it.

* * *

Things with the Judoon went more or less the way Jack had anticipated, at least at first. Hours stretched into days and then days into weeks before anybody with any authority got around to trying to figure out what a lone human with a time vortex manipulator was doing on a Caxtarid ship that was on a class five planet illegally. They didn't like any of his answers. They meted out justice swiftly.

But then it unravelled on him when they failed to dump his body fast enough.

Presuming something must have gone wrong, they repeated the exercise… eventually he was taken to the head of the Shadow Proclamation, the Shadow Architect, for questioning. The Judoon may not be especially bright, but they were smart enough to realize when a problem was beyond their ability to solve.

Christmas on Earth had come and gone, of course. Jack tried to imagine the kids on Christmas morning, opening up their presents, pulling sweets and trinkets out of their stockings. He always imagined them as if he was really there, not hundreds of thousands of light years away, wondering if he would ever see them again. He played out Christmas dinner in its entirety in his mind. Alice and Steven… Shane… the goose was on the table, flaming Christmas pudding. Ianto fussing at him over the state of the kitchen, Mom quietly shaking her head… in his imagination it was a perfect day if only because it was where he wanted to be.

His reality was a lot less cheerful.

As far as the Shadow Architect was concerned, Earth wasn't his home, it never had been, and just because he had procreated with an Earth native was no cause to return him there. There were rules—the fact that he could recite the Conventions of the Shadow Proclamation back at them didn't help any, either. It just proved that he knew he was in violation of Galactic Law. Of course that didn't stop them from insisting that he made himself useful while they figured out _'a more permanent solution to the problem of a man who has no regard for the law, but who can't seem to be executed, either.'_

While he waited, and in between moments of 'usefulness,' Jack kept track of time back on Earth as best as he could. A month passed…two…three… five…six… January, February…March… Easter dinner with Ianto's family… he'd never especially warmed up to Easter, but it was important to Ianto's mother, so he went, tried to be nice to Cade. April, May… Seren's birthday…well, not really her birthday, but she was three months old when they brought her home in July so the pretended that her birthday was in May… May seveneenth… _better than trying to explain that she was born on another planet…_he smiled. _Mom's probably made her a cake…_ strawberry. His daughter liked strawberry almost as much as he did. And chocolate frosting. It always had to be chocolate frosting.

Ianto would grumble about how difficult it was to get the chocolate stains out of her clothes, of course, he always did, but he never denied her her favourite, either. His family would probably show up, too. At least Nerys and Remy… Mickey. Maybe Alice and Steven would be there… _everyone but me. _

Jack ran his thumb over the smooth band of his wedding ring—it was the one thing they'd let him keep from his 'old life.' He supposed he should be grateful. It helped him hang on to the things he was the most afraid he would forget.

Blue grey eyes.

Pineapple.

Beautiful Wels Vowels.

Coffee… chocolate chip cookies.

Orange jasmine tea.

A red UNIT cap.

"Don't forget to empty the bins," he whispered into the darkness of his quiet little cell.

It was a more comfortable accommodation than the cell he'd been stuck in on board the Judoon ship—the Shadow Proclamation didn't like to think of themselves as cruel. He had a bed. A little table. A chair. Books to read. Things to keep his mind sharp…

He closed his and took himself back to his daughter's birthday party, creating every little detail slowly, carefully, in his mind…and realizing suddenly that something missing. He wasn't there, he wasn't a part of it, he was only watching. He gulped down the feeling of hopelessness… he didn't even know when he'd stopped painting himself into the pictures he created for himself of his life back on Earth, but he wasn't in them any more. He wasn't a part of their lives.

_Six months,_ he tried to tell himself. It had only been six months. They wouldn't give up on him in only six months. Ianto would be there, he would wait…_but how long should anybody have to wait? _It wasn't fair…

"Life isn't fair," Jack reminded himself. And life was the one thing he had an abundance of.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, wondering if he would still be a part of his husband's life in his dreams—wondering how long he would be a part of Ianto's dreams, how long it would take him to move on if he never came home. Maybe it would be better if he did move on, find somebody else, someone he could grow old with, instead of in front of… _maybe walking away is the best thing I ever did for anybody… _

He didn't hear the sound at first, but then… his heart beat in his ears as he watched the blue box materializing in the dark. Jack held his breath, not quite able to make himself believe…but the door opened and a familiar face peered out of the TARDIS. "Well come on then, we haven't got all night!" the Doctor chastised him when he didn't move straight away. "I'm sure somebody is going to notice that this is missing from their safe sooner or later," he held up the Jack's wrist strap, a merry grin playing across his features.

It was contagious. Jack was grinning, he was on his feet…he was in the TARDIS… "You have no idea how happy I am to see you!" he held the other tight. He still wasn't certain going back to his old life was the right thing…

"Oh, I think I might have an idea or two. I brought you a little gift—besides this," he handed over the vortex manipulator.

Jack fastened it to his wrist, noticing that the Doctor hadn't tampered with it this time—it didn't look like the Shadow Architect or her scientists had, either. He gave over a quizzical look, however, to the Time Lord's statement about another gift. Being rescued was all the gift he needed.

The Doctor just kept on grinning. "Think of it as a Christmas present. Go look in your old room," he told him as they started to dematerialize.

"But Christmas was—"

"This is a time machine, Jack. Have you forgotten that already?" he teased. "Go on, then. I can't very well take you back to Cardiff in that," he said of the bland grey jumpsuit the Captain was wearing.

Cardiff… Christmas… _**Ianto**. "_But..." Paradox, timelines... _**Ianto**..._

"I'll have you home in time for Christmas morning," the Doctor promised him. "Assuming—you do want to go home, don't you, Captain?" his eyes narrowed and his tone was laced with suspicion that Jack didn't quite understand.

"More than anything." Even if it was selfish. He wanted his husband, his family.

The cloud lifted from the Doctor's features. "Good. Go on, then, get out of that thing and into something a little more… you."

"Thank you."

"Ahhh, what are friends for, but the odd rescue now and then?" he grinned.

Jack hesitated… noticed…something. It was in the Doctor's eyes, a haunted look…

"Don't you worry about me," the Time Lord said before he could ask. "Let's just get you back to that family of yours. They need you Jack. And you need them."

* * *

_**Cardiff, 25 December, 2010, 2:15 am.**_

_**.**_

Ianto didn't wait for Mickey to stop the jeep because standing there in the parking lot, waiting… it couldn't be real…but there he was, that RAF greatcoat flapping in the wind, a grin etched from ear to ear across his face.

_**Jack.**_

Ianto was out of his seatbelt and out the car door, not thinking, not caring—his husband met him half way. He pulled him up into his arms and held him tight. He cupped his face and kissed him hard.


	98. Christmas 2010 pt 10

**Chapter Ninety Eight:**

**Christmas 2010 (pt 10)**

"_I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."_

Mother Teresa

* * *

Jack kissed away the younger man's tears, he held him, he ignored the moisture on his own cheeks, but he couldn't ignore how good it felt to be back home—he didn't want to. It was selfish, he knew it was selfish, but the Doctor was right, he needed his husband, their children. His family.

"How—?" Ianto finally asked him.

"It doesn't matter," he whispered.

He wanted to press Jack for a better answer but suddenly it wasn't just them, Sara, Gwen and Mickey were there and he had to share his reunion with Jack with them. But he didn't mind, especially not with the way his husband kept one arm wrapped snugly around his waist, hugging Gwen and then Sara with the other, not letting him go.

"We thought we'd lost you!" Gwen cried when she wrapped her arms around him.

"What, and miss out on Christmas dinner? Never." He cast a significant, loving look in his partner's direction and repeated, "_**never**_."

Ianto swallowed back the lump in his throat and looked a little deeper into those blue eyes; Jack pulled Sara close again, pressed a soft kiss into her hair. He held Gwen's hand, flashed a mad grin at Mickey.

"You had us worried for a minute there Cap," said the Londoner.

"I had myself worried there for a few minutes," he admitted.

"What happened?" Gwen wanted to know.

"I'll tell you all about it later," he dislodged himself from everyone except his Welshman. "Why don't you three go on in and give the rest of the team the good news," he winked, "and tell them I said to go home already. It's Christmas, for crying out loud! Nobody should be stuck at work tonight, not even us. We'll be down in a minute," he promised them when they hesitated.

Ianto waited until the other three three vanished into the tourist office to start to ask Jack again what had happened, but he was cut off by another kiss. He returned it, yielded immediately when the other's tongue played at his lips, relished the way he kissed him, sensual. Savage. Wanting…needing. "How long?" he asked when he was finally allowed to speak again.

The immortal man understood the question—it could have been a hundred years and he wouldn't have changed, he'd look the same, no one would ever know—but his only answer to say again that it didn't matter.

"It matters to me, Jack. How long were you gone?"

"Long enough."

"Jack—" but his expression told him that he wasn't going to get an answer. "How did you get back?" he asked, instead.

"The Doctor found me."

He frowned, just a little, glanced around…there was no sign of any police box. Jack had told him once that the Doctor loved Christmas on Earth; Ianto didn't understand why, but that wasn't what mattered. If he'd brought him home, the Time Lord should have stuck around to celebrate it with them.

"He couldn't stay this time. He—he said he had a few more things to take care of before…" he just shrugged.

"Before?"

"It doesn't really matter."

.

"_Just a few last things to do," said the Time Lord, dancing manically around the control panel._

_Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and stood out of the way. He could see that something was different about him. It was in his eyes, even though he kept trying to hide it with smiles and jokes. "Then what?" he asked._

"_Dunno really…well… you know, one never knows how it's going to turn out. Might even end up a ginger," he grinned. It was clearly a forced effort._

"_What happened?"_

_The Doctor started to shrug it off, but then he stopped. Gave over a serious look. "You remember that tricky bit of business from last Christmas?"_

_Jack nodded._

"_Things got a little…well, tricky, I suppose," he forced another smile, but then sobered again. "I don't have much time left, Jack. I just need to take care of a few things before I go. I deserve it—to—to bend the rules now and again. I need to do this. To make up for…well… even I make mistakes. I wanted to make up for a few of them before I left."_

"_But…you're a Time Lord…" he should regenerate. _

"_Oh, no, it's not final! But…well, it is. It's like… like I die… I really do die, Jack. I'm not me any more, I'm some other person and he's me. And believe me, I've met me, some of them were pretty…" he made a face. _

_The Captain chuckled despite himself. "As I recall, a couple of you were pretty cute," he teased. "I wouldn't mind a threesome with that blond and the other one…long hair, kind of broody looking…"_

"_I was not broody!"_

_His chuckle turned into a full blown laugh._

_The Doctor scowled and went back to the control panel. _

_Jack meandered over towards him, his hands still stuffed into his pockets. He slid up right next to the Time Lord, so that their shoulders touched. "Will I see you again?" he asked in a much softer tone._

_His smile quirked in an oddly lopsided way, "We both know the answer to that." _

"_What happens to me?" he wanted to know. How did he end up the way that he did…_the Face of Boe.

"_I have no idea, Jack. Honestly, I don't know," he insisted when the other gave him a questioning look. "I just know that you'll see me again." His expression brightened again. "There now…here we are, Cardiff on Christmas Eve…well, Christmas Day, if you want to get technical, it's past midnight." He threw open the TARDIS doors. "Off you go, they should be coming around the corner any second now. You've barely been gone an hour."_

_Jack hugged him tightly before taking his leave…_

_. _

"What's happened to him?" Ianto asked, understanding the look on Jack's face more than he'd expected him to.

"It doesn't matter, Sweetheart," he said yet again. "All that matters is that he brought me home. To you." He pressed another a soft kiss to his partner's forehead. A day, a week, a month…_six long lonely months… _all that mattered was that he was back, he was home. It was Christmas, and he hadn't missed a day.

But then he remembered that he still owed his husband a conversation… an end to an argument. And Shane…he owed him a conversation, too. An explanation. "Why don't you head on home without me?" he suggested.

"What? Why?"

"I need to talk to Shane about what happened—tonight," he faltered just a little. "We'll talk about us when I get home," he promised.

"Us?"

Jack eased the sudden rush of fears with another tender kiss. "The stuff from tonight. What I did, what I said," he explained. He hadn't known at the time exactly what he'd done wrong, he just knew that he'd messed up and he owed it to his husband to listen to what he had to say about it.

"That doesn't matter any more, Jack. I don't care. I'm sorry—"

"Shhhh. It _does _matter. I know I screwed up tonight. I screwed up a lot of things. I just don't know what they all were. I won't know unless you tell me. Ok?"

"Yeah. Yeah, ok," he relented. "I guess there are some things I'd wanted to say. I just…when you were gone, when that ship vanished, I…I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again and after that, that other stuff just doesn't seem important any more, I just wanted you home. But you're right, it is important." If they didn't talk about it now, it would happen again and next time it might be worse.

"I just need to take care of some things here, first."

He nodded. "I'll wait up. Jack," he called him back, as he started to head up towards the tourist office. "I would have waited for you forever, you know. I'm glad it didn't take that long but I just…I wanted you to know that I would have waited."

He blinked. He didn't have forever, however… "Thank you."


	99. Christmas 2010 pt 11

**A/N:**

Again, many, many thanks for the amazing reviews this has gotten (and really to everybody who continues to read this!) I'm glad you've enjoyed it because I am having a lot of fun writing this one. Eventually I might even get into exactly what Jack ended up doing to make himself "useful" to the Shadow Proclamation….

* * *

**Chapter Ninety Nine:**

**Christmas 2010 (pt 11)**

"_The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live."_

Flora Whitmore

* * *

Sam greeted Jack at the tourist office door, a frightened, hopeful look on his face. "They're gone," the Captain promised him, even though he knew the others must have told him already. But Sam needed to hear it from _him_. "They're gone and they're never coming back," he said. Then, "Ianto's headed home. Why don't you catch a lift with him," he suggested in a carefully neutral tone. Sam had moved into Sara's old flat across the street from them.

"Is…is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine," he assured the boy. "Go on. Get some sleep. You're supposed to come over to our place tomorrow early, remember?" he flashed a grin. Sam had enjoyed Christmas as much as the kids last year… _the kids…_ he hadn't missed Christmas. He hadn't missed Seren's birthday… he would be there for Jason's, Steven's…Alice's… Ianto's.

"Yeah, I remember," Sam was grinning back at him, oblivious to the thoughts going through the other man's head. He still hesitated, though, didn't quite seem able to leave.

"I'll lock up here," promised the Captain. "Go on home."

Sam nodded his thanks and took his leave, dashing off towards the parking lot to catch up with Ianto. The Welshman was more than happy to give him a ride home…he didn't say it, but he was glad of the company. Happier still that Sam didn't seem to be holding what had happened between them earlier against him…

Jack headed downstairs to the Hub—and was greeted by an unexpected, brief, hug from Tim the instant he stepped through the doors. The other man wrapped his arms around him, even though he wasn't usually nearly as physically demonstrative of his feelings as his wife, and held on tight for just a few seconds.

"It's good to have you back, Boss," he said, his voice sounding strained.

Jack returned his embrace with warmth. "It's good to be back, Tim," he cupped his face gently between his hands and kissed his forehead. "Now go on home to that wife of yours. Give her a kiss for me," he smirked.

He gave him a look; Jack laughed.

Wendy was looking at him, too, a questioning expression on her face.

"I sent Ianto home," he told her. "It's been a long night."

"Are you sure you're all right?" Bobby asked.

"Why, you want to take my temperature, Doc?" he quipped back.

Bobby rolled his eyes.

"Jack—" Gwen began again.

"Go home," he told her. "That goes for all of you," he looked around the Hub. It didn't look like Mickey or Sara had even started to gather up their things to head out. "That's an _order_, people. **Out**!" He pointed to the door. He didn't remember ever having such a hard time getting his team to clear out of the place... he certainly never had had to tell Owen Harper twice. He smiled at the memory of his former medic...The only person whose retreat he he stopped was Bobby. "Hey—how's the patient?" he asked him, as the Australian was putting on his coat.

"He can go home with you tonight, if he wants. I left some pain meds with him—he should be fine. Just no wrestling," he added.

Jack nodded; he doubted there was anything to worry about, there. He crossed his arms over his chest and leant against Bobby's desk watching Mickey and Sara head out, Gwen just behind him—Tim was already gone. Wendy had her coat.

"Happy Christmas, Jack," she said before she and Bobby left.

He smiled, "Yeah, Happy Christmas—see you tomorrow. Five o'clock," he reminded her, needlessly. "Don't be late."

"Late for dinner at yours?" she grinned back at him. "Never."

_Never…_ he reflected. It had almost been never…

"See you tomorrow, Jack," Bobby told him as they took their leave at last.

Tomorrow... no matter what, he still had tomorrow.

Jack crept quietly down the steps, in case Shane was sleeping; the lights were dimmed in the recovery area, a small alcove with a couple of beds off the main medical bay. He had to admit, it was good to have a proper medical facility—he just wished that it got less use.

He drew the curtain aside, not expecting to find his great grandson awake…but he was. "Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," Shane greeted him just as softly. "I hear I missed a bit of excitement tonight," he said, not quite looking Jack in the face.

"I'd say you saw plenty," answered the Captain, leaning against the wall, his hands shoved into his trouser pockets. Shane's expression was difficult to read.

"You're ok, though, yeah?" even if he wouldn't look at him, there was genuine concern in his tone.

Jack smiled. "Yeah, I'm pretty hard to get rid of." He regretted his choice of words almost immediately…he'd nearly forgotten… "Bobby says you can come home, if you want," he said, trying not to sound too hopeful.

The younger man just nodded. "I suppose it wouldn't be much fun spending Christmas here," he agreed. He eased himself into a sitting position with obvious difficulty, moving so that his legs dangled off the edge of the bed. He sat there for several very long seconds before speaking again. "You're really him, aren't you?" he asked, still not making eye contact, not even looking at Jack at all. "You're the same Jack Harkness as in that wedding photo. You're my… you were Laura's husband." It wasn't a question so much as an accusation.

"Yeah. I was. I met her Christmas, in 1892," he added. "We were married the following June."

"Short courtship."

"Yeah well… our first child was born about eight months after the wedding," he admitted.

Jack pushed off the wall and closed the distance between them so that he was standing in front of Shane.

"Did you love her?" the younger man wanted to know.

"Very much."

"So what happened?"

"She died. We both did."

"But," Shane gaped up at him, not understanding. "You…earlier… I saw you… I _**saw**_you! You were shot but then you got back up!"

"I was dead."

"But…"

"I died, but I didn't stay that way," Jack explained it as best as he could. "I always, _always _come back, Shane. No matter how I die, I always come back." Five times the Judoon had executed him before deciding it wasn't their fault he couldn't be killed, that something was wrong with him. They definitely weren't the brightest creatures in the galaxy. Logical, efficient, extremely tenacious, but not very bright and not at all creative…which all things considered, Jack wasn't lamenting. Shane was speaking again:

"That means…you're not just some kind of time traveller. I was staring to think—I mean, it wouldn't be the strangest thing I'd seen since I came here, yeah? So I thought maybe… maybe you were really him but… but if you were just some kind of time traveller, I didn't know why you wouldna just tell me you were really him," once he started, it all tumbled out, all of his suspicions about Jack and why he looked so much like his great grandfather—his accent got thicker as he rambled. "But that's not it, is it? You've…you've really been here since… since the turn of the last century?" He seemed to be having a hard time processing it.

"I _am_ a time traveller," Jack told him. "I was born in the middle of the fifty first century. But…but yeah, I've been here, on this planet, since 1869."

"But you…" he didn't look a hundred and fifty years old.

"I find odd grey hair now and again," he told him, "but no, I don't look my age."

"And when you say…on this planet… you mean… you…you're—?"

"I'm human."

"What about Ella—is she—I mean…how? How is any of this possible, Jack! Nobody lives forever," it was almost a question.

"Something happened to me. A long time ago. A long time from now. It's complicated, but I'm…unique. A fixed point in time. What I am had nothing to do with my Mom and Dad. It doesn't get passed down to my descendants."

He nodded, understanding what the other was telling him, that it didn't affect him. But it _did_ affect him, because Jack was his… "I suppose time travel would make a lot of things pretty complicated," he agreed, instead of remarking on any of the things going through his head.

Jack took a seat on the edge of bed; Shane didn't shy away from him, but he didn't look at him, either, preferring to focus his attention a spot on the floor between his white-stockinged feet instead. Neither of them spoke for several long, uncomfortable minutes. Finally the younger man asked about Alice, about how they were really related.

"She's my daughter. Steven is my grandson."

"Does she know about you?"

He nodded. "So does Steven. But I haven't told Jason. My mom came to this century a few years ago and brought him with her," he explained, trying to paint as complete a picture as he could. "He understands what time travel is, that it's something I used to do. He knows it's really me in that picture you've got of your great grandparents, but he thinks that I was there, I met Laura…that we had kids and then I left, came to this time. Considering I abandoned him and his other father when he was three, he didn't find it that hard to believe."

"His…?" _his other father? _

Jack just shrugged. "I haven't told him that Alice is his sister or that I can't die, Shane." He didn't feel like getting into the particulars surrounding his son's conception.

"I guess it would be an awful lot for him to take in," he agreed.

"Yeah."

More uncomfortable silence fell between them. This time, they both broke it, starting to speak at once. They both laughed—it was strained. Nervous.

"You first," said Jack.

Shane hesitated, but… "You could have told me. I—I don't know that I would have understood, but—but it would have been better than seeing…damn it, Jack, I saw that alien shoot you in the back of the head! Do you know what that felt like?"

"I'm sorry," was all he could say. "I didn't know how to tell you the truth."

Shane paused, considered that. "Yeah, ok, I guess that's fair. I mean it's not like you ever …you never even knew I was alive, did you? I mean, not just me, any of your…your descendants," he seemed to hesitate over the word. "You really just walked away from everything after Laura died, didn't you? Even your daughters? They were just little girls—you left them—you were alive, but you let them think you were dead, you let them be orphans," his tone was accusatory.

"I can't change the past. I can't go back and undo the things I've done, even things I wish I'd done differently."

"Do you wish you'd done things differently?" he wanted to know.

"Sometimes. But people saw me die. Saw me dead. There was even a funeral. There wasn't anything I could do about it."

"Even later, after your daughters were grown?"

Jack just shrugged. "I can't change the past. All I can do is move on from today and do the best I can not to make the same mistakes twice."

"Does everyone know—about you, I mean," he clarified. "I saw Ianto, when you died tonight. The way he held onto your body and I thought…Jesus, Jack," he swore, no longer able to string his thoughts together coherently.

"My team knows about me, where I came from, how I got here. So does Martha—we've been friends a long time. Lois and Camille only know that I can't die, that I've been here a while. The rest of your team doesn't know anything unless Sara told them. Or Martha." Which wasn't likely.

"How old are you, Jack?"

"I… it's a little complicated…"

"How old?" the other demanded.

"A little over two thousand years."

"My God. Jack—" he stared at him as if trying to find some trace, some hint… there weren't any.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I'm sorry I lied when I said I didn't know—you and me. Laura. I should have told you the truth. I guess maybe… maybe I was afraid to."

"Like you said, you didn't know how to tell me."

Jack looked at him; it was impossible to tell if he meant that or if he was simply accepting the apology because it was the only thing he could do. "I guess… I guess we should probably get going," he suggested, wondering if he still wanted to go back to the house with him.

"I just need t' myself dressed."

He nodded and stepped out to give him some privacy. "I," Jack began, hesitantly, his back still turned. "I'm glad you showed up the way you did. I… I haven't always been very good about…family, but… I'm… having you around means a lot to me."

There was an extended silence…he was starting to wonder…but finally Shane emerged, dressed in loose pants and a t-shirt. "I love you," he admitted for the first time. "Not just because…because of you are, to me, but…you're the kind of man I wished I'd had around when I was a kid, Jack."

"I'm here now. And I love you too, so very much." He pulled him into a warm, careful, hug.


	100. Christmas 2010 pt 12

**Chapter One Hundred**

**Christmas 2010 pt 12**

"_Other things may change us,  
but we start and end with family"_

Anthony Brandt

* * *

The young Welshman looked up from his book when the front door opened up. He was in his pyjamas, curled up under an afghan on the sofa, a nearly empty teacup resting on the arm. Shane came in the door first, Jack just behind him, carrying his overnight bag. It was difficult to tell how their discussion had gone, but there didn't seem to be any underlying tension between the two. Ianto was glad of that.

"I've got you set up in Jason's room," he said to his husband's great grandson—he supposed that made Shane his _step_ great grandson? _At least he's only a couple of years older than me…_ oh well, if he'd wanted normal, he wouldn't have stuck it out with Jack this long. The thing was, he couldn't imagine ever being with anybody else.

"You didn't have to—" Shane began to protest. Usually he just slept on the sofa. (Jack was helping him off with his coat. He wanted to say he didn't need the help, but he did. He'd been shot in the arm, the leg. The gut. If it weren't for whatever Bobby put into those pain meds, he wasn't sure he'd be walking around at all.)

"No worries," the Welshman assured him; he took both men's coats from his partner so that they would end up in the closet and not tossed over a chair. He couldn't be sure, but he didn't think that they way Jack's fingers brushed up against his was an accident. Ianto met his gaze, held it. "Why don't you take Shane's bag upstairs and I'll put the kettle on. Tea should be ready by the time you come back down," he said, the implication clear. They were going to talk, like Jack had promised they would. He reckoned his partner had sent him home so he could have a chance to think about all of the things he wanted to say before, so that he wouldn't let the sheer joy of seeing him again make him forget how upset he'd been earlier. It did temper his feelings—coming so close to loosing Jack had made him realize how trivial all the rest of it was, but there _**were**_ some things that needed to be said.

"Could—I'd really love a cup of your coffee right now," Jack asked, his tone almost pleading.

Ianto didn't argue or point out that that much caffeine would keep them both up late—that it was already late. The children would be up in just a few hours to tear into their stash under the tree. "Coffee it is, then. Can you make it up the stair all right?" he asked Shane.

"Yeah. I'll manage. Thanks."

Ianto just nodded, smiled. He caught Jack's gaze again. Held it.

"I'll be back down in a minute," the older man promised him.

"I'll be here,' he promised in return. He didn't know how much that promise meant to him…

Jack got Shane settled with a minimum of fuss. The bed was already turned down—it didn't look as if an eleven year old had recently been sleeping in it. The room was picked up too. Ianto must have been busy.

"Is…there something you're not telling me?" the younger man asked, as he was getting ready to take his leave, go check on the kids. He knew Ianto was waiting for him, but he needed to see them again.

"I ah…don't worry about it."

"Jack?"

He cupped the back of his great grandson's head in his hands and drew him close so he could press a kiss to his forehead. "I'm fine. I just…I was away for a while."

"You were only gone a couple of hours—"

He shook his head. "Time travel can make things a little complicated," he reminded him.

"How long were you really gone?"

"It doesn't matter. It's just good to be back home." He'd been trying not to stare at every little detail of his own house. "Get some sleep—the kids'll probably be up at dawn." And once they were up, everybody would be up.

Shane grinned, suddenly looking like a big kid himself. "Kid's nothing, I saw my name on a couple of those packages under your tree."

Jack laughed. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Feeling warm inside…happy…Jack shut the bedroom door behind him. He slipped into his mother's room first; Jason was curled up in bed with her, not looking at all unhappy about being displaced from his own bed for the night.

Jack knelt next to his son's side of the bed. Only a couple of hours…he had only missed a couple of hours. He stroked his son's hair gently, not wanting to wake him, but wanting so badly to wrap him into his arms and never let go. How could he ever have walked away from him, he wondered.

Movement in the hallway startled him, caused him to turn fast, ready for anything… "Seren?" he whispered at his daughter. "What are you doing out of bed, Princess?" he crept over to her and lifted her—and Bun, the poor hapless stuffed rabbit that was dangling from her hand by one well chewed-on ear—up into his arms.

"Couldn't sleep," she said, bleary eyed. She'd just been moved from her crib into a big-girl bed, a reward for no longer needing diapers—and manoeuvre Ianto swore was a serious tactical error on their part. "Was Father Christmas here?" she wanted to know.

"Not yet," Jack lied…fibbed…his mother hated the whole Father Christmas story, but at least she could agree that it was Bad Idea to have Seren be the only child in the whole of the UK who didn't grow up believing in Santa Clause. Even if it was 'foolish nonsense.' Jason had promised to go along with the ruse.

Jack carried his daughter out into the hallway so they wouldn't wake Jason or his mom… in the dim light of the bathroom's night light he could see her better… fair hair and blue eyes… his dimples, Ianto's nose and chin. He snuggled her close, but for Seren it had only been a few hours since she'd seen him last, and she wanted nothing of his cuddling.

"It's morning! Morning prezzents," she protested, over emphasizing the 'z' sound.

Jack chuckled. Even if she didn't want a cuddle, it was so good just to hold her in his arms again. "It's three o'clock in the morning. The sun isn't even up yet."

"Inna _morning_," she repeated, stubbornly. "Morning for opening prezzents!"

"No, night for sleeping," he told her. "Its still dark out, see," he carried her back into her room and walked her over to the window so she could see for herself that it was still night.

Seren humphed at him. "Not fair saying it's morning ifit's night," she told him, 'if it's' coming out as one word.

"I suppose you're right," he laid her back down into bed and pulled the covers up around her and Bun. "Now close your eyes or Father Christmas won't come."

"But…"

"Shhhh," he brushed her cheeks gently with his thumbs. _Thank you for giving this back to me,_ he thought in the Doctor's direction.

"Tory?"

"Sleep."

"Papa…"

"Sleep. It's late."

She humphed again, but rolled over, facing him, snuggling the terry cloth rabbit tight to her chest and closed her eyes.

"I love you."

Seren opened her eyes again. "I love you too. Even-ifit'zleep-and-nottory-and-night-and-not-prezzents," her words ran all together.

Jack chuckled; someday she was going to keep some lucky man or woman on their toes...heck, it might even take more than one to keep her content. He leant in and kissed her cheek. "Sleep tight, Princess."

She humphed one last time and closed her eyes.

Jack watched for a second longer than usual. He could have stayed there all night, just watching her sleep. But he owed his husband a conversation. He only hoped it went the way he wanted it to…

"You are so predictable," the young Welshman accused, the instant he set foot in the kitchen.

"What?" so far it wasn't what he'd call a good start, he just didn't know what he could possibly have done wrong.

Ianto handed the cup of coffee he'd just fixed for his partner, grin playing at the corners of his mouth. "You appear the instant it's ready. Every time, Jack."

"I guess you know how to lure me out," he teased. But he could see the clouds in his husband's eyes. However—

"How did it go with Shane?" Ianto asked, before he could say anything about them.

Jack sipped the coffee…he closed his eyes for just a second, relishing the taste, what it really meant to be back home. "It went ok," he said. "I told him everything," he added, just so the other would know.

He nodded.

"Ianto—are we ok?" he finally asked. He'd used the drive home to replay as much of Christmas Eve over in his head as he could remember. He was sure there were a few things he wasn't remembering, or remembering incorrectly. "Ianto?" he asked, when the other didn't respond right away.

"We're all right, Jack," he said, just a little too softly.

"Then why do I feel like something's still wrong?"

"I said _we're_ all right, not _I'm _all right or _it's _all right."

The immortal man blinked at him, not understanding how _they_ could be ok if _he _wasn't ok.

"I was so scared when the Judoon took you, Cariad," he told him, moisture glistening in his eyes. "That was the longest hour of my life. But before that—some things happened tonight and I'm not all right with that."

"Can we talk about it?" asked, praying that the answer would be 'yes'. But he couldn't have made it back home just to hear… the Doctor wouldn't do that to him. He had to know that brining home, now, would mean…

"I'd like that."

Jack let out the breath he'd been holding. He nodded. He waited.

Ianto fixed himself another cup of orange jasmine tea and retired to the sitting room. He wasn't so absorbed in his own head, his own heart, that he missed the look on the other's face. He knew Jack loved him, that he wanted to work things out, he knew how much they needed each other. He just had to figure out how to make him understand… _only I barely understand it myself. _

He'd spent the time he'd had home, more or less alone, trying sort it out so they could talk. He still wasn't sure he would be able to make it come out right, especially when half the problem was something in his own head, memories of an event that hadn't even happened, and the other half was…it was just the fact that Jack couldn't die and there was nothing either of them could do about that. He would always throw himself in front of the speeding train—into the alien space ship—because he didn't want anybody he cared about ending up dead if he could prevent it.

He himself settled into the settee and motioned for Jack to join him; he knew that he wouldn't unless he was invited. "Do you remember everything that happened tonight?" he asked him.

Jack stared into his coffee cup for a moment before telling 'yes'. He remembered.

"You died," Ianto told him anyway.

He nodded. He remembered it clearly, almost as if it really had happened yesterday. He remembered the younger man charging, unarmed, at the aliens…bullets flying… being so sure… he cradled his cup in his hands, but it did little to warm him.

"I need you to tell me what really happened, Jack," he said in a very soft tone.

His head snapped up. "What?"

"Something was different this time."

"I—"

"I've seen you die and come back enough times that I almost—_almost_—don't get sick every time it happens. I'm almost able to convince myself that everything will be all right, I just have to give you a few minutes and you'll be back to me, good as new," he forced a smile; they both knew that even if Jack's body was as good as new, dying and coming back like he did still damaged him, hurt him in ways that no one else could see. "But this time something was different," he said again, into the silence that had fallen between them. "You didn't want to come back. It was like—like when I looked into that box. You were gone and for a split second I was sure you weren't ever coming back. A split second was all it took for me to fall apart."

"I can't die, Ianto. I can't ever die."

He drank his tea without commenting. "I thought—I thought you didn't want to come back because you didn't want me," he told him. "And that hurt, Jack. It hurt even more when you sent me back to the Hub, when you told me to stay there."

"I wanted you safe." He was sure he'd explained that already.

"Life isn't safe, not for anybody, but especially not for us."

"I know," he didn't argue the point, didn't suggest that Ianto should quit, even though more than ever, he wanted him to. "Sometimes all I want is to protect you. I don't always remember that you can take care of yourself, that you've saved me more than once," he flashed a tight lipped smile. "I don't ever want to lose you."

"Then you know exactly how I felt when you died… tonight." He almost made that into a question, but once again, Jack refused to give him an indication of how long he'd really been gone. "I know something else happened for you tonight, but for me it was only a few hours ago, and when you died, when you didn't want to come back… it brought back all those nightmares I've been trying so hard to forget."

He opened his mouth, but he wasn't sure what to say. 'I'm sorry', didn't seem good enough, but it was all he had.

"I love you so much, Jack. It broke my heart when I felt you holding on to death like that," he gave over a pleading look. "I need to know why you didn't want to come back to me." _Maybe if I know, I'll be able to sleep tonight. _

"The last thing I saw before everything went dark was you, out of ammunition, and the aliens…" he closed his eyes. "I thought you were gone, Sweetheart. I thought…I thought I'd lost you and I didn't want to come back to a world without you in it."

"Jack—" he placed his hand over the other's arm. _How could I have not pieced that together…?_ He remembered the way Jack had looked at him, clung to him…but what he'd said was true. For a split second he'd been sure Jack wasn't really coming back and that split second was all it took for him to fall apart.

"I know I'm going to lose you someday," Jack told him. "But when I saw you, when I thought…I wanted to die, too, because I love you more than anything. More than any_**one**_."

The younger man blinked at him, startled. "You can't mean that." Henry. Estelle. Laura. Maybe even Lucia. The Doctor. Rose… Roan. John Hart. Jack might love him as much as he'd loved some of the other people who had won a spot in his immortal heart—maybe even more than some of them (he'd _**better**_ rate higher than John Bloody Hart)—but he couldn't possibly love him more than _**all**_ of them. "I know that something more happened to you out there—" he began, convinced that Jack was only saying that, thinking it, because of whatever had happened to him, his timeline.

But the Captain shook his head. "I've known for a very long time how much I love you, Ianto," he told him in a tone that was difficult to disbelieve. "I'm not saying I've never loved anybody else or that I'll never love anyone again after you're gone, I have. I will. But you…you are _so_ special. What we have, what you give me, this house, this life…this family… I have loved _so many_ people, Ianto, but nobody else has _**ever**_ loved me back."

Gentle thumbs wiped the tears that had trickled unnoticed down his cheeks; Ianto leant in. Kissed him. "That can't be true," he said softly. The heartbreak in his husband's tone was enough to rip his own heart in two, but he knew it wasn't true. He knew of at least one or two people who had loved Jack the way he'd loved them.

"Lucia saw me die and got scared, threw me out, took away my daughter. I couldn't tell Laura…Estelle. Roan…" he choked up. Jason's other father had been the most gentle, patient man he'd ever known and Roan had loved him _so_ much… so maybe Ianto was right, maybe there was one person who had loved him, but he hadn't returned it. He hadn't known how to. _But I love you,_ he thought in his husband's direction. "I am so sorry I did that to you tonight," he said. "I would have fought so hard to come back if I hadn't thought—if I'd known for sure you were waiting for me. I will never leave you, Sweetheart, I…" but he had left him. It hadn't been voluntary, but he'd been gone…

"How long, Jack?" he asked again. "Please, talk to me, don't shut me out of this."

He swallowed, closed his eyes, so he wouldn't have to see his partner's face. "Six months."

Ianto's only response was to hold onto him tighter. "Did they…?"

He shook his head, understanding the unasked question. They hadn't hurt him. "I thought about you every day. You, Jason, Seren…I tried to imagine what you were doing, I tried so hard to hang onto this, but after a while, it got so hard. I started to wonder how long…when you would give up. Move on. I… I wondered if…if maybe…"

His Welshman silenced him with a soft kiss. "Some day I will die, Jack, I can't prevent that. But I promise you, until that day comes, I will _always_ be here waiting for you when you come back. I love you too much not to."


	101. Christmas Morning

**A/N:**

Whew... we made it. Chanpter one hundred and now one hundred and one...and Christmas Morning, at last!

Katydidnt pointed out something interesting, that technically it seems as if the recent Christmas Special on Doctor Who was supposed to take place in 2010, rather than 2009. Please don't get me going on how frustrated I find this Davies and his timelines... the short version of it is that I am stubbornly refusing to change one single line of dialogue, even though it would be both easy and painless. But I AM quite grateful to have the oversight pointed out to me, I really appreciate things like that.

And of course a **HUGE **thank you to everybody for reviewing and just continuing to read this monster of a story!!

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & One**

**Christmas Morning, 2010**

"_In family life, love is the oil that eases friction,  
the cement that binds closer together,  
and the music that brings harmony."_

Eva Burrows

* * *

Jack leaned back into his husband's arms. Usually it was the other way around, Ianto in front, leaning into him, but he was enjoying the reversal as they sat snuggled together on the sofa in their pyjamas, drinking much needed morning coffee watching the kids—including Sam and Shane—tearing into their 'prezzents'. He and Ianto had gone to bed only a few hours ago, but hadn't actually slept… Jack savoured the memory of his Welshman in nothing but that red UNIT cap, straddling him, holding him down… riding him… he drank his coffee. Too many thoughts like that and he would be dragging the younger man back upstairs and really, he didn't want to miss this Christmas morning a second time.

The softness of his husband's lips against the back of his neck made him smile. He felt rather than heard Ianto inhale, take in his scent. His Welshman pulled him closer, held on tighter Protectively. Possessively. Nobody else had ever held onto him like that.

He caught the look on his mother's face as she watched them, but as usual couldn't quite interpret it. Sometimes wondered what was thinking when she looked at him like that. _Maybe still comparing me to the person I used to be, the one who walked out on Roan and Jason… _He'd told her what really happened to him last night, although only an abbreviated version; he details didn't matter, he'd said, he was home, that was all he cared about. She had had little to say afterwards.

He drank more of his coffee and turned his attention back to the action under the tree. Shane, Sam and Jason were helping Seren with her last gift, a box taller than she was and twice again as long. It had been with great reluctance on Ianto's part that they agreed this should her gift from Father Christmas, and not one of the presents from Tad and Papa. He hadn't really wanted to give the credit for it over to a mythological construct either, but it did seem fitting.

"What in the world is that?" Ella whispered at them. She abstained from as much of Christmas as she possibly could—she bought a few gifts for her grandchildren, of course (any excuse was good enough for her) but paid little mind to what her son and son and law were up to when it came to the supposedly Christian holiday that had very few (in her opinion) actual references to Christianity as she saw it. (Their first Christmas together had been full of tension. It had been Ianto and Jack's first Christmas living together and it had meant so much to the younger man to have everything 'perfect', especially for Jack's son—and yet at every turn, Jack's Mam had 'corrected' him about the traditions and significance of the trappings of his own holiday. It wasn't as if he wasn't well aware that the Christmas tree had nothing directly to do with the birth of Christ, that the date was all wrong, but that wasn't the point. _Christmas trees make people __**happy. **__The time of year doesn't really matter. It's about having hope, even in the darkness. _Ella's response had been an acerbic comment about the absurdity of chopping down trees and festooning them with gaudy baubles and mis-matched lights… he'd sighed. There really wasn't an arguing that Jack went a little overboard on the decorating…)

Things had evened out with time. Ianto wasn't sure if his mother in law understood more or simply accepted the 'eccentricities' of twenty first century Earth, but he supposed it didn't really matter. He looked over in response to her question, "I don't know, that one wasn't under the tree when we went to bed," he told her with a sly little grin. "It must be from Father Christmas."

Ella shook her head. Jack smirked and leaned further into his husband's arms, resting his head against his shoulder.

Seren finally had the wrapping paper off the box…it was plain brown, giving no indication at all with might be in it. She stamped her foot impatiently, causing Shane to laugh.

"Take it easy there, squirt," he told her. "Sam—you wanna—" he really only had full use of one arm.

"Hang on," Jack got up from the comfort of the sofa—Ianto's embrace—to give them a helping hand. The job was clearly going to take more than the three hands Sam and Shane had between them.

Jason pulled his little sister out of the way while the adults tackled the box… in very short order a very large wooden, Victorian style doll house with all the trimmings was sitting in front of the fireplace, at which point, there was no holding Seren back. Ianto half expected her to start eating the furniture but instead, she began diligently arranging it carefully into place. He just smiled; one moment his daughter was a typical toddler the next she was well ahead of the curve for her age (Ella assured him that she was a very typical child of her century—she usually even managed to say it without sounding patronizing.)

The front door swung open wide.

"Mickey Mouse!" Jack greeted him; Mickey didn't have a key, but Nerys did. She and Remy were just behind him.

"LookwotFatherChristmasbrought!" Seren squealed at them—mostly Remy, to whom she'd taken a shine immediately. The feeling was mutual. Remy only barely remembered to wriggle out of her boots going over to oooh and ahhh over the doll house.

"You're not supposed to be here until two," Ianto said to his sister over the girls' giddy voices as he gathered up the coats—everyone else was coming later, but Nerys had insisted on coming over early to give them a hand in the kitchen. Ianto wasn't sure she wouldn't be hindering more than helping, but trying to stop her was nigh unto impossible…and Jack hadn't seemed to mind.

"I heard you had a bit of a late night," Nerys explained, "so we brought over breakfast," she said of the large insulated tote she had in hand—Mickey had his hands full with wrapped packaged and brightly coloured gift bags. "Happy Christmas, by the way," Nerys went on, and then, "Jesus, Jack, did that tree get bigger from last year?" she asked before anyone could wish her a Happy Christmas in return.

"Yeah, Happy Christmas," Ianto told her anyway as he got the coats hung up. It wasn't even eight o'clock and already things were mad. He almost regretted not getting any sleep last night… almost.

"Nope," the Captain answered Nerys' question about the tree. "Same tree—just a few new ornaments."

"I could barely see the branches last year!"

Jack just shrugged.

"There's coffee in the pot if you're interested," Ianto offered.

"Oh, bless you," she pressed a kiss to his cheek. "But first, have you and Jack exchanged gifts yet?" she wanted to know. Mickey was doling out gifts to the kids, but there were a pair of conspicuous looking bags that he set next to the tree…

Before Ianto could answer, he found his husband's arms around his waist. "I got _my_ gift from a man in a red hat last night," the older man remarked with a lascivious grin. "I reckon I must have been a _very_ good boy last year because he—"

"Oi!" Mickey snapped at him. "None of that! There's kids in the room! And me. Here," he took the tote from Nerys. "I'll get this started and you deal with these two." He took his leave, but was more than a little relieved when Jack's Mum offered to give him a hand with the food. Somehow prowling around his bosses' kitchen, looking for plates and cutlery seemed a bit weird.

Ianto told his sister that no, they hadn't exchanged gifts yet. "Why?" he inquired.

She just smiled. Smirked. "You two first, then, while I get some coffee—I'll even refill yours," she offered. "After you've exchanged, you can get to ours. Don't worry, you'll like it," she added to his expression.

Ianto gave her a second quizzical look. His sister answered it with a saucy grin and sauntered into the kitchen, cups in hand. He looked at Jack next, but the older man just flashed an innocent smile. Right. They had conspired in some way…however… "All right then," he said because there wasn't much else he could say. He'd been anxious about his gift to Jack all morning… for most of the last week… the last month… well, maybe not that far back. When he'd started it, it had seemed a clever idea, but now he wasn't so sure.

Only of course it was far too late to do anything about it. "Sam, would you mind?" he asked, pointing to the large, flat square box under the tree.

Seeming to pick up on his tension, Jack gave him questioning look. "Just tell me it's not a Weevil," he teased.

Ianto laughed; it was an old joke. "No, Sir, not a Weevil. Not this time, anyway."

"Good. Then why don't you open mine first?" he leant over and picked up the moderately sized, rectangular box from where he'd tucked it behind the tree. It had very clearly been wrapped by someone other than Jack. It was neat, the paper was a plain, festive green and the bow was hand tied.

Ianto looked at it, feigning trepidation. "Afraid you might end up with a Weevil after I've seen what you got me?" he quipped back, despite his nerves and even though he didn't care what Jack got him. Having him home was all that mattered to the young Welshman.

"What's a Weevil?" Jason wondered.

"Alien life form," said his father without a second thought. "Lots of teeth and a nasty temper. Not something to mess around with."

"Not something to be talking about at school, either," Ianto instructed. Jack at least had the good graces to flash an apologetic smile.

The younger man just shook his head. One of these days they were going to get called down to the Headmaster's office and have a lot of explaining to do, he just knew it. But in the meantime, he allowed Jack to lead him back to the sofa. His husband placed the box in his lap, looking entirely too pleased with himself. Ianto unwrapped the box carefully... his expression faltered only a little when he got the paper off.

The clear plastic top of the box showed its contents—only Jack's expression assured him that there was more to it than what met the eye. Still, he couldn't resist. "It's a lovely tie, Sir," he said, intentionally deadpan—although really, it was a very lovely tie. The box labelled it as Italian silk and the colours were exquisite. Jack had good taste.

And his chuckle confirmed that whatever he was up to, there was more to his gift than a necktie. "Look under it," he said.

Ianto made a point to hide his smile as he lifted the lid of the box and then lifted the tie out… he blinked at the envelope that lay beneath it. The logo on it was recognizable… but, "an airplane ticket, Jack?" he queried of the single airline ticket that was tucked inside. One. Only one. _Why is there only one? _The answer, of course was obvious. The nagging fears that had been finally surpressed started to claw their way to the surface again.

Jack just grinned—and Ianto completely missed the nervous look in his blue eyes.

He gave the ticket a closer inspection wondering if he'd missed something… but there was only a single round trip ticket and it was to… _"Italy?" _he gaped.

"Everything's all set," his husband promised him. "Hotel, plane, even a couple of day trips I thought you'd like. All you have to do is pack your bags and go."

"I—I don't know what to say," he admitted. Italy was one of the countries on his 'dream list' of places he knew he would never actually get to see, at least not as a tourist. Work had certainly taken him to a few interesting places… but that was another matter. The point was that he'd given up on travel a long time ago. First Torchwood, now having a family... he didn't regret the choices he'd made, but he knew he should be more excited about what Jack giving him. He told himself that he wasn't trying to get rid of him, that he'd clearly put a lot of effort into this…besides the last time he'd taken a holiday, he _had _gone off by himself, at least for most of it. How could Jack know that as much as he'd needed the time away to sort his head, he'd missed him the entire time they were apart?

"Thank you, Cariad," he said finally, in a very carefully neutral tone. "I…I'm just a bit… I guess this makes mine seem pretty feeble," he lied—well, it wasn't a lie, his gift was feeble compared to what Jack must have spent on a holiday to Italy, but that was only an excuse, a way to cover up his lack of enthusiasm.

He forced another little smile—and finally caught the lingering uncertainty in his husband's eyes. It made him wonder if …_if maybe after six months of imprisonment, maybe he really doesn't want me to go off without him any more than I want to go!_ But he must have arranged all of this ages ago, before last night... Right. They needed to sort this and they needed to sort it now. There were no aliens invading, just family—which could be alien enough at times—but there was no reason to 'argue later', although really he didn't want to argue at all, he just wanted to talk, in private, because he was becoming increasingly aware that Nerys' attention was focused entirely on him and Jack.

Ianto got to his feet, pulling his husband up with him. "I think you should open my gift upstairs," he said briskly.

"Why?" the Captain covered up his surprise with a lascivious grin, brows raised. "What'd you get me?"

"I suppose you'll just have to come upstairs with me and find out, now won't you?" he kept his tone light. Thankfully the children were far too engrossed in showing off their new toys to be paying them any mind… Sam and Shane were both pretending not to notice them, either.

"If you two are gone more than ten minutes…" Nerys warned.

Jack smirked at her. "Why? You don't think I could…"

Ianto tugged his arm, _**hard**_.

He followed the younger man obediently up the stair and found himself being pushed into their bedroom, the door shut tight behind them. "You know if you wanted…"

"Jack," Ianto cut him off with a word.

He stopped grinning. "What do we need to talk about?" he asked, because he knew being dragged upstairs had nothing to do with whatever was in the box he was still holding. He set it down on the bed.

"Italy, Jack?"

He shrugged. "I talked to Nerys—"

"I reckoned as much."

He swallowed; Ianto didn't sound happy. He wasn't quite sure why. "I just… I thought maybe you'd like to get away," he said. "It doesn't have to be me who goes with you," he added, quickly, before he lost his nerve, telling himself again that for Ianto, on his timeline, he'd just been gone a couple of hours.

"Excuse me?" the younger man seemed confused.

"What I mean is, I thought…I just assumed…" he'd assumed when he booked the trip that they'd go together, that Ianto would want him to go with him, but… "if you want to take your sister or something… or Wendy," he suggested. "Whoever," he shrugged. He'd be happy to give Wendy the time off. At least if she went with him, he wouldn't worry so much about Ianto being safe. "It's your holiday, take whoever you want. I just want you to have a good time, Sweetheart, that's _all _that matters," he reached out, brushed his fingers against his partner's hands. Ianto curled his fingers around his.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but there was only _one_ ticket in the envelope, Jack," he pointed out the obvious.

He nodded, broke away and went to the dresser, pulled out a folder from its hiding spot deep in the back of his sock drawer (it had a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa on it. At the time he'd felt perfectly giddy to find it, but now… _I've been there, he hasn't,_ he told himself. What mattered was that **Ianto** had a good time, this was _his _gift, not _their_ gift.) "It's yours, all of it. Happy Christmas, Sweetheart. I love you," although he didn't mean for them to, his words came out clipped.

The younger man blinked, still feeling as if he was several paces behind…not entirely unusual where Jack was concerned, he supposed, but still… he opened up the folder hoping its contents would shed some light on exactly what Jack trying to say.

The first thing that struck him was how neatly arranged it was and he wondered suddenly if Jack only _pretended_ to be disorganized to get him to do the things he didn't like to do… _I wouldn't put it past him…_ but flipping through the folder, he realized that Jack hadn't been exaggerating when he said all he had to do was pack his bags. _Every _detail had been taken care from hotels—all of them five star accommodations, of course, Jack never did anything by halves—to first class travel arrangements for stays in Rome, Venice and Milan. There were lists of restaurants and museums, tourist attractions, even days clearly blocked off for 'whatever we want to do', in Jack's antiquated scrawl. Quite clearly the were arrangements were meant for both of them—and there _was_ a second airline pass, tucked into an envelope labelled 'travel' as well as overland tickets for two for getting from city to city and out to those 'day trips' Jack had mentioned.

"I just assumed you'd want me to come with you," the other said again, still sounding awkward, uncertain. "And it seemed weird to give you my ticket too. But I guess you know what they say about making assumptions," he forced another wan smile. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. Take whoever you want, just ah…just promise me you won't enjoy the scenery _too much_, if you know what I mean."

"You are an idiot, Jack Harkness, I hope you know that."

He laughed; it was a very nervous sound. "I guess I won't argue with that, but would you mind telling me what I did this time?"

"You are the only person I want to go _anywhere _with and I can't believe you don't know that. But I guess I'm a bit of an idiot, too," he admitted. "I thought you meant to send me off by myself and I thought…" he began, then shrugged. Jack knew what he thought, he could see it in the older man's eyes. "I love you too, Jack." He pressed a soft kiss to his husband's lips.

His partner returned it… deepened it. He held him tight a long moment. Then he asked if he could open his gift, now…he sounded suddenly like he was six years old.

Which only made the pterodactyls in Ianto's gut start flapping around again, even if he managed a laugh as well. "Yeah. I suppose. It's really not… I mean… I never know what to get you," he explained helplessly as they settled themselves on the bed. "I wanted to do something different this year," he told him. After all, there were only so many cufflinks and crystal tumbler sets he could buy, only so many waistcoats that caught his eye.

"All I need is you," Jack told him honestly. "You, this house, this life…this means more to me than anything else." But he understood. He would live forever, he'd already lived for hundreds of years—thousands. He'd already seen the end of the Universe, lived out amongst the stars. There was very little he needed or even wanted in the way of material things. Just the same, he appreciated the time and thoughtfulness he knew Ianto put into each gift he gave him. He tore into this Christmas with his usual finesse, sending shreds of paper all over the bed… inside a plain cardboard box… "No boots this time?" he teased.

Ianto gave him a dark look—but Jack could see the good humour hidden just beneath the surface of his gaze. The nervousness hidden by the mirth.

He opened the lid of the box… tissue paper…he lifted it gently…and stopped. It looked like an old photo album. A very old one. Gingerly, Jack opened it. On the first page was an old newspaper photo of a World War Two bomber, some story of the war underneath it. He didn't quite frown, he just wasn't sure what to think.

"I found it at a resale shop with Abby," Ianto told him. "I added to it, of course," he added quickly, not sure if Jack loved it or hated it or simply thought it was the stupidest thing anyone had ever given him.

Carefully, Jack turned the next page…there was picture of him, from back then, he thought he recognized it as one of the old archive photos. Opposite the photo, there was another newspaper article, the date was twelve June, nineteen forty two, but it wasn't a story about the War, just some little human interest piece, no doubt originally intended to take people's minds off the war for a few minutes. He flipped through the next few pages, discovering more pictures, more articles, some dated from well before the War… the first World War…before.

He stopped at a picture of Laura that he had no idea how Ianto had gotten his hands on. The only one he had of her was their wedding photo.

On the page opposite were carefully preserved pictures of his and Laura's daughters... on the next few pages were more pictures of the girls', their childhood, their teen years… newspaper announcements of their engagements… wedding photos… an actual invitation to Rose's wedding, addressed to some couple he'd never heard of, of course.

"Shane?" he finally asked, looking up from the book, unaware of the tears in his eyes.

"Yeah," Ianto confirmed, a nervous tremor in his voice. "I…didn't tell him… I said you didn't have anything from that side of the family and that I wanted you to." _Creative PR_…_lying through my teeth…_ although at least now, Shane would understand why the project had been so very important to him. "I—I hope you don't mind."

Jack shook his head, finally realized he was very near crying; he wiped the moisture from his eyes before he started to. "I don't mind. I don't mind at all, Ianto. It's wonderful," he said, only those two little words didn't begin to describe what he felt as he turned his attention back to the rest of the book. In addition to photos and old newspaper clippings there were antique buttons, bits of fabric, scraps of lace from wedding dresses and baby blankets… a glove that had belonged to Shane's grandmother …he didn't know how Ianto had ever persuaded him to part with most of it.

The very last page was a careful reproduction of the family tree from Laura's Bible. His and Ianto's wedding photo had been added to it, and…Jack's breath caught in his throat. There was a picture of both of his parents, nestled in the tree above his and Ianto's wedding photo—pictures of their parents, too. Below his and Ianto's wedding picture, there were photos of not only Seren as an infant but of Jason as a baby as well and off to the side, Roan's bespectacled face smiled up at him...those green eyes, that auburn hair… the lines between Roan, Jack and Jason made the familial relationship clear. Two parents and a child, acknowledgement of Jason's other father (he had no idea how grateful Ianto was that he hadn't had to suss out what to do with more than two parents…the young Welshman shuddered to think what family trees must look like in Jack's home era.)

Jack's fingers trembled when he reached out to touch the other picture that had been added to the tree, on the other side of his and Ianto's wedding picture. It was Gray, as a boy, the child he remembered, just barely remembered, from his youth.

"How?" he wasn't even aware he'd spoken.

"Your Mam," Ianto explained. Ella had brought images with her when she came to their time, a digital photo album of the people she loved, but it was well beyond the technology of the current era. "It was a bit tricky getting the technology to mesh. Abby helped," he told him.

"Ianto, I… I don't know what to say."

"I just… I wanted you to have something to hang onto… you know. After. I know it won't last forever, it's just paper, but… I thought…"

"Sweetheart, _thank you. _" He leant in, kissed him, hoping to convey all the things he knew words didn't cover.

"Ianto! Jack!" Nerys hollered from the bottom of the stair.

They both laughed. "No rest for the wicked," said the younger man.

"Nope," his husband agreed, kissing him again, harder.

"_Ianto! __**Jack!**_ Breakfast is ready!"

Jack didn't stop kissing him.

"She won't stop bellowing until we go down, you know," Ianto told him in between fierce kisses.

Jack sighed. Pulled away from him. Took a good long look at the man sitting in front of him…his eyes. The turn of nose. Those lips he loved kissing so much.

"What?"

He just shrugged. "Why don't you take a nap after breakfast," he suggested, instead of telling him what he was really thinking, how he was trying to commit every little detail of his face to memory so that he would never forget it. "I can handle getting dinner started. You look beat."

"Are you sure you can manage?"

"I've got Mickey Mouse and your sister to help," he grinned.

Ianto groaned at the thought of Mickey loose in his kitchen, but "promise to wake me by three?" he asked, honestly too exhausted to argue. He would just deal with the damages to his kitchen later.

"Scout's honour."

He scoffed. "I doubt you were ever a Boy Scout, Cariad."

The other just smirked. Leant in. Nerys hollered for them again…


	102. Christmas Day

**A/N:**

Just fluff…but really, after everything they went through on Christmas Eve, Jack and Ianto deserve a break…

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Two**

**Christmas Day 2010**

"_The best Christmas of all is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up with one another."_

Author Unknown

_* * * * * * _

"_Whatever we are waiting for -  
peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance -  
it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart."_

Sara Ban Brethnach

* * *

"All right, Mickey Mouse, roll up you're sleeves, you're on Kitchen Duty," Jack announced after breakfast.

"Oi, I already cooked your breakfast, what more do you want from me?"

Ianto groaned and rolled his eyes, deciding to make his escape while he could. They had decided—or more accurately, _Jack_ had decided—that they would exchange gifts with Mickey and Nerys after he'd gotten some rest. He might have argued, but he was too tired.

"Would you like that alphabetically or by order of preference?" Jack leered at Mickey.

"Hands off this one, he's mine. You've got your own husband," Nerys wrapped his arms around Mickey's waist, causing the young man to smile.

The immortal's brows shot up. "Do I hear wedding bells in someone's future?" he inquired.

Nerys grinned.

Mickey said nothing, at least not on the subject of wedding bells. "I didn't sign on for this, you know," he grumbled instead, rolling up his sleeves, eyeing the pile of dishes in the sink with disdain. "I got home late last night, too, you know."

"Nobody forced you to come over early," Jack started towards the kitchen door.

"Where do you think you're going?" the other man demanded.

"I thought I'd tuck Ianto in and put on some clothes—unless you'd rather I cooked Christmas dinner naked," he offered with a lascivious grin. "Because if that's the case…"

"Go, Jack," Nerys shoved him towards the lounge and ultimately stairs. "And don't you take too long 'tucking Ianto in', either," she warned. "I'm timing you."

He flashed over a wry grin, "I guess some things do run in the family."

She frowned, totally lost.

He grinned harder, looking at her boyfriend. "Lots of things you can do with a stopwatch, eh, Mickey?" He grabbed the dishtowel as it came hurtling at his head. "Guess this means I'm drying," he laughed, tossing the towel over his shoulder. He sauntered out of the room with the promise that he wouldn't be long.

Mickey continued to grumble, even when Nerys offered to give him a hand…

Jack crept up the stair and opened the bedroom door as quietly as he could. It looked like Ianto was already asleep. He took just a moment to watch him, the rise and fall of his chest… his face… the little smile that played across his lips… "God, I love you," he whispered softly.

The younger man mumbled something unintelligible in his sleep; Jack chuckled. He crossed to the bed, leant over, pressed a soft kiss to his husband's temple. _What I wouldn't give to live the rest of my life with you… _he kissed him again and hurried to get dressed, not wanting to dwell on the impossible. They had today, that was all that mattered.

* * *

By the time Ianto woke, all on his own at about two thirty, got himself dressed into jeans and a red pullover, and ambled back downstairs, Jack had the kitchen running with military efficiency. "All right, who are you and what have you done with my husband," he teased when the older man pressed a fresh cup of coffee into his hands. Jack couldn't have made it himself, it hadn't eaten through the mug yet.

The older man laughed. "Ianto, I can handle a Dalek invasion—what makes you think I can't handle Christmas dinner?"

"Have you forgotten last year? Besides, Daleks are easier," he retorted with a grin. At least they wouldn't have Cade…he might not have minded seeing Deidre and the kids, and he definitely would have liked to have had Gavin and Trea, their lot, Dafydd…_ then again, where would we put them all? _They'd been packed in like cordwood at Jack's Thanksgiving.

"Careful what you wish for," Mickey advised. "We haven't got through today yet."

Nerys gave him a questioning look.

"It's Christmas. Remember London the past couple of years? Aliens always invade on Christmas."

"Well that was London, not Cardiff…and anyway, that Titanic thing was hoax. Wasn't it?" she suddenly didn't sound so sure.

Jack just shrugged and gave her one of those askance smiles.

"Jack?" she wanted to know.

"Oi, why don't we do gifts?" suggested Mickey.

"But it was just a hoax, though, wasn't it?"

"As I understand it, the Doctor was there," said Ianto in a low tone.

"No—really?"

He just shrugged.

"He isn't coming round again is he?" she asked hopefully; it was no real secret that she still fancied the Time Lord, even after finding out that he was an alien.

Jack shrugged again. He didn't expect to see him, but really with the Doctor, there was no telling. However, since the kitchen was under control and the geese didn't need to go into the oven for another hour, he agreed that they should go ahead and open gifts before things got any more mad than they were already.

They settled themselves into the lounge, Jack and Mickey on the sofa, Ianto on the floor in front of his husband, Nerys on the floor next to him, near the tree (the children were outside by this point, with Jack's mother burning off some of the Christmas chocolate they'd eaten after breakfast.)

"You guys, first," said Ianto told her, pointing the large box out from under the tree that he wanted his sister to open up. "Careful, it's heavy," he added, as she reached for it.

"This was all his idea," Jack told them, clearly not wanting to take the blame for its contents.

"You never had a proper house warming," the young Welshman protested his statement with a look.

"And whose fault was that?" Nerys wanted to know, glaring over at her boyfriend.

"It wasn't my fault we were up to our ears Rift activity that week!" he answered her glare.

She gave over a feigned disbelieving look and then tore into the package. Nerys was more like Jack than her brother when it came to the handling of wrapping paper.

"Oh Ianto!" she leant over and wrapped her arms around his neck when she saw the Le Creuset box that clearly pictured a deluxe cookery set, in bright red to match her kitchen. "This is really what it is, right?" she asked suddenly. The box looked sealed, but…

"Yes, that's what it is," he confirmed.

She hugged him again.

"See," the Welshman gave his husband a satisfied look. "I told you she'd love it."

"I'm just saying, I know what would have happened if I'd ever given any of the women in my life pots and pans…most of the men, too," he added with a smirk.

Nerys shot him a look; she hated hearing about his exes, even in passing. However, "It's a little different coming from a brother, Jack—and thank you, too," she added. "I know Yan wouldn't have had a clue if you hadn't helped," she grinned at her brother. "He's a fright in the kitchen."

"ME!" the younger man yelped. "Have you seen—?" but there was no winning. They would never believe that Jack as the real terror. Maybe he couldn't boil water to save his life, but at least he didn't turn the place into a disaster area in the trying.

Laughing, Mickey thanked them, too, because while cookware wasn't necessarily his idea of an ideal gift, it was a nice set and unlike her brother, Nerys was brilliant in the kitchen. "We'll have to have you two over for dinner sometime, yeah?" he suggested, looking in her direction for confirmation of the invitation.

"Absolutely," she agreed. "Sometime when you lot aren't out saving the world."

Jack laughed, "We'll pencil it in, in between Blowfish in sports cars, Rift Gifts and Weevil Retrievals," he promised; he leant forward then, and wrapped his arms around his partner's shoulders. Holding him made him feel warm…happy. _Safe. _How strange that he felt so very safe… he didn't understand the feeling, but he revelled in it, especially when Ianto laid his hands over his, and held on tight.

"Don't you two ever give it a rest?" Nerys asked.

"Nope," they answered nearly in unison. They both laughed. Jack kissed the back of his husband's neck.

Nerys cleared her throat and handed over the gift bags Mickey had placed under the tree when they came in.

Ianto let go of Jack's arms so he could take them. It felt like books. "No Weevils?" he teased anyway.

"Nerys picked it out," said Mickey.

He laughed, "Like I said, no Weevils?"

"Oh for Heaven's sake, Yan!" she swatted at his arm. "Just open it already."

Still grinning (Jack too), Ianto peered with exaggerated caution into the bag. Over his shoulder, the immortal peered, too.

"Ifan," Nerys warned. "I swear, if you don't—"

He pulled a very large coffee table style book out of the bag. It was entitled _Historic Cathedrals and Architecture of Rome. _

"I just thought, you know," Nerys was giving over an almost sheepish grin. It wasn't much compared to expensive cookware, but still… "I thought you might like to have some idea of what you're going to see…"

"Thank you," Ianto told her with sincerity.

"The other one's for Captain Cheesecake," Mickey informed them, as Ianto was pulling the second book out of the bag.

Ianto laughed. "_An Epicureans' Tour of Italy._ Definitely for you," he handed it up to his husband.

"It's got recipes in it," Nerys told him. It was also heavily illustrated.

"Thank you," said Jack. "You too," he added to Mickey.

"I know it's not much," Nerys began. "I just never know what to get you two," she admitted.

Ianto smiled. He leaned back against his husband's legs. Jack was right, he had everything he'd ever wanted, right here, this house, this life, his family. "They're wonderful," he told his sister of the books. "When we come over for dinner, Jack will have to bring the dessert," he nodded towards the book in his husband's hands.


	103. Christmas Dinner

**A/N:**

Just a short, incredibly fluffy wrap-up to the Christmas holiday…

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred and Three:**

**Christmas Dinner**

**25 December, 2010**

_"The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day."_

M. Grundler

* * *

Jack pulled his oldest living daughter into his arms and held her tightly for several long moments—she held on just as tight and that felt so very, very good to the immortal man. The last year, having her and Steven back in his life, _really _in his life... the last six months, his timeline, when he was so sure he was never going to see her again...

He'd called her—twice in fact—since yesterday. The first call had been made just before coming home from the Hub. He'd just needed to hear her voice again, just needed to know that she was safe, that she and Steven were all right—that even though it had been six months for him, Alice had seen him just a few days ago when he took her out for lunch. He'd needed to hear her tell him that they lived far enough outside of Cardiff not to have seen any aliens or to have lost power.

"Happy Christmas, Dad," she whispered into his ear.

"Happy Christmas," he echoed back, finally letting go.

She stepped further into the lounge while her father knelt down to give Steven a hug hello.

Ianto took the bundle of gifts from her arms and handed them off to Mickey, so he could help her with her coat. "You remember my sister, Nerys?" the young Welshman asked her.

"Yes, of course, it's lovely to see you again," she smiled over his shoulder in Nerys' direction. Apparently Ianto's sister didn't think her boyfriend was capable of handling the gifts on her own, she'd jumped in to give him a hand setting them down by the tree. Mickey didn't seem to mind.

By then Jason had burst in from the kitchen and was chattering at Steven; Shane came out of the kitchen, too, although he was moving at a far more sedate pace. He gave Alice a shy smile.

She understood it. When her father had called her for the second time, early this morning, he'd told her about his conversation with his great grandson last night, told her why he'd told him everything he had. Told her about the Caxtarids, the Judoon, about being away for six months… she'd been trying to imagine what that must have felt like for him, but she couldn't imagine being trapped like that, helpless to get back to the people she loved the most.

"Happy Christmas, Shane," she said to the Irishman—her grand nephew or some such, she reckoned, although really genealogy wasn't her strong suit (she wasn't even sure it counted if he was the grandson of a half-sister who had lived and died before she'd ever been born.) "How are you feeling?" she asked him.

"Tired," he admitted. He looked at her, trying to imagine… she was Jack's daughter, but she looked as old as he did…or he looked as young as she did (it certainly wouldn't be at all wise to tell a woman she looked like her centuries old father).

Alice smiled, seeming to understand his expression. "It's a lot to take in all at once, isn't it?"

"Yeah. But you…?" he wasn't even sure what he wanted to ask her.

"I've had my whole life to come to terms with having the great Captain Jack Harkness for a father," she grinned, just a bit. Then, in a more sober tone, she went on: "My parents split up when I was a little girl, Shane. Mum…she couldn't handle it. Him. His immortality. I suppose it must have been a bit romantic at first, but then the reality set in. She was going to grow old while he stayed just the same."

"Can't imagine how Ianto does it," Shane was forced to admit.

"He loves him," she shrugged. She wasn't sure what had really happened between her parents. She accepted her father's story, although she suspected that he was being unduly kind to her mother in his telling of things. It seemed to be his nature to take the blame, even when something wasn't really his fault—or at least not entirely so.

Jack glanced over then at the two of them—smiled. Looked happy. Truly happy. Shane left Alice's side to hobble over to his great grandfather… Alice turned to Ella, wished her a Happy Christmas, hugged her.

When he offered it, she readily accepted the glass of wine Ianto had poured for her, even as Steven was settling in, in front of the tree, to tear into his gifts. "Please tell me he exercised a bit of restraint this year?" she said softly to the young Welshman.

Ianto just smiled and sipped his own wine…

By the time Jason had unwrapped his gifts from he and Jack, Bobby and Wendy showed up, followed shortly by Gil and Sara, and then Tim and Abby (Gwen, Rhys and their kids were due to stop by later on in the evening, having both of their parents to visit first, not that Gwen was precisely looking forward to a visit with her mother in law. She'd muttered something about how she'd rather spend the day with a pack of Weevils…).

As the last of the arrivals were coming in the door, Jack found the box of Christmas crackers his partner had hidden away, ever so carefully… Ianto cringed when he dumped the whole box of them out on the floor in front of Steven, Jason and Seren. The toddler squealed with delight when her Papa showed her how they worked…and Ianto very carefully hid his smile when she insisted Jack put on the paper crown that came fluttering out…


	104. Breaking Branches pt 1

**A/N:**

This one is for Kitsa, who is always a wonderful help and inspiration, and for Roo, who recently reminded me that I got so busy with other storylines that I nearly forgot about something… and of course to everyone who contines to read and review, to add my work to their alerts, a **HUGE **THANK YOU! You guys feed the muses and keep the author happy.

I had to rely on the Internet for the Welsh word for grandfather-I got two answers, but one came up on more common (or at least it came up more than the other), but I have absolutely no personal knowledge of the Welsh langauge, so if I've bungled it, please let me know so I can fix it!

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Three:**

**Broken Branches (pt. 1)**

"_Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend."_

Titus Maccius Plautus

* * *

****IMPORTANT NOTICE****

**As of January 1, 2013**

**"Breaking Branches" and camping story that follows it**** _will no longer be here_.**

**I'm going to be taking it down so that I can (without legal or ethcial complications) **

**submit an original YA novel based on Kae and Wynn's story to my publisher.**

**HOWEVER: just because it's going away from HERE does NOT mean that it is **

**vanishing into the mists of cyber history, never to be seen again!**

**If you get to this point ****(I'll be reposting this on the tail of the **

**previous chapater when this chapter no longer exists)**

**all you have to do is drop me an email at helenpattskyn at gmail dot com**

**and I will happily send you the PDF of what I've removed.**

**(Or you can just drop me a message via FFnet, that's fine, too).**

**PDFs will not be available until after Jan. 1, so don't jump the gun in a panic.**

**(Seriously, I need to find time to format, etc.)**

**Please visit my website (helenpattskyn dot com) for updates, contests, etc.**

**I truly appreciate my fanfiction readers! **

**You guys always get first dibs on contests I run for new releases.**

**Sometimes you even get goodies reserved JUST for you **

**(especially if I recognize your names from your reviews of my chapters, **

**since it was you guys who gave me the guts to write and submit original fiction again)**

* * *

_**1 January, 2011**_

.

Ianto Jones Harkness was awakened from sound slumber by the persistent ringing of his mobile phone. He rolled over and untangled himself from both the sheets and the warmth of his husband's arms—the latter was easier, Jack was awake now, too, an expression of concern playing across his otherwise handsome features. There weren't many reasons why someone would be ringing them in the middle of the night (a quick inspection of the clock revealed that it was three o'clock in the morning; that meant they'd been asleep for less than two hours.)

Ianto picked up his mobile—he always left it on the bedside table—and did his best not to sound too annoyed when he answered with a simple 'hello'. Despite being seriously sleep deprived and possibly still a little tipsy from the evening's festivities, he'd been able to make out the readout on the caller ID…barely. According to the entirely too small letters on the top of his phone, the call was coming in from some place called the Palace Hotel—Ianto rather suspected that it was the furthest thing from any palace as one could get. "Hello?" he repeated, when the caller didn't respond at once. If this was a prank, he was going to track down the person on the other end and…

"Uncle Ianto?"

"Kae?" the tone of his nephew's voice was enough to chase off the last of the effects of the champagne.

There was a long pause on the other end of the line.

"Kae? Where are you?" or more to the point what was a fifteen year old boy doing at someplace called the Palace Hotel at three o'clock in the morning…

"I—I'm sorry. It's just… you—you said….you told me it was all right to call you…" he sounded scared. More than scared, it sounded to Ianto as if his nephew was debating the wisdom of calling him, probably owing to the tone he'd taken when he'd demanded to know where he was.

Ianto took a quick breath, counted to three, and continued on in a steadier tone. "Of course it's all right, Kae," he did his best to sound reassuring, even though his mind had already conjured up a dozen unpleasant scenarios, reasons why Kae would call him instead of Gavin or Dafydd or Nerys or even his own parents…

* * *

_**5 November, 2009**_

.

Kae didn't meet his uncle's gaze. In fact, he seemed to be trying very hard not to look at anything at all except for maybe his hands, folded in his lap as the two of them settled onto the front steps; everyone else was out back, sitting around the bonfire, roasting sausages and watching the fireworks Ianto's… he looked up at his Uncle. He knew why he'd pulled him aside while everyone else was preoccupied with the fireworks Jack had brought—even his Tad hadn't noticed the two of them slipping off together, around to the front of the house where no one else would see them.

"I heard about the magazine your Mam found," Ianto began in a carefully neutral tone.

"Everybody did," Kae answered him miserably.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He looked away again. He didn't want to talk to Ianto any more than he'd wanted to talk to Gavin and Trea when they had confronted him on it. They hadn't been horrible about it, not like…he swallowed back the lump in his throat. No one could react worse than his Tad had. Even Mam…that look she'd given him, like she was so disappointed because she thought… the hand on his shoulder startled him, made him feel uncomfortable. His uncle seemed to understand that, at least the uncomfortable part. He gave a quick, warm, squeeze, but then he withdrew his touch—but having him pull away was even worse than having him touch him, even if at first he'd been… all those things Tad said… Taid, his Mam's tad…

"Kae, no matter what anybody else says," Ianto's voice cut through his stormy thoughts, "it's ok," he told him.

He looked hopefully up at his uncle. If anyone could understand, it would be Ianto. Uncle Gavin and Auntie Trea had tried to tell him it was ok too, but they didn't really understand, they couldn't. But… maybe… "It wasn't mine," he told him, hoping, _needing_… he'd told Gavin and Trea that the magazine wasn't his, but they didn't believe him any more than his Mam had.

Ianto nodded. If he thought he was lying, it didn't show on his face.

Kae took a shaky breath and let it out again. "Tad says—he says—he…he says you…you and…and Jack… that you're… perverts. That it's wrong. Unnatural. Unhealthy."

"What do you think?" his tone was neutral; there was no accusation, no anger. None of the things Kae had expected to hear.

"I…" he looked away again. He'd believed his father. He'd believed him so whole heartedly, until… "Why is it so wrong to love somebody?" he asked. "I mean… you and Jack… you love each other, right?"

He couldn't help but smile. "Very much so."

"But you had a girlfriend, Lisa…?" he'd had a girlfriend, he couldn't be queer... unless it was Jack's fault. But they seemed happy... so much happier than his Mam and Tad.

Ianto was nodding. "I loved Lisa very much."

"So you can choose?"

"I," he hesitated, not sure how to explain it. "I'm bisexual, Kae," he finally settled for the truth. "That means I—it means I've had feelings for both women _and_ men throughout my life."

"There were other men? Before Jack?" he wondered.

"Yes. Not like this, though, not like Jack," there was no one like Jack. "When I was… just about your age, I reckon, I realized that I…that I was attracted to boys the same way I was attracted to girls." Which at Kae's age mostly amounted to philological responses to physical proximity… but the point was the same. His body had responded equally strongly to both genders. It had been terrifying. Kae was talking:

"But you got to choose. You chose be in love with Lisa. Then after her you decided to be qu-bisexual. To be in love with Jack. You didn't have to-"

"No. Kae, it doesn't work like that," he explained to the confused look on the boy's face. "A person doesn't get to choose who they fall in love with, it just happens. Some people only have feelings like that for men—other people only have feelings like that for women. But you don't get to choose whether or not you like the same sex or the opposite sex, or both. Sexuality is…it's just a part of who a person is, it's like skin colour or hair colour."

"That's not what Tad says. Or Taid," he told him. His Mam's father had been furious when he found out about the magazine.

"I know. But I'm telling you the truth, Kae. There are certain things a person just doesn't get to choose."

"But if you like both men and women, why can't you choose? You could have met another woman, you could have married her and been—" he bit down on the word 'normal'. "You could have been just like everybody else. Why did you have to choose Jack?"

Ianto refrained from saying any the first dozen or so things that popped into his head; none of them were suitable answers for a twelve year old. "Because you don't get to choose who you fall in love with," he repeated instead, his patience never wavering. "Who you love isn't decision. It isn't a choice. It just…it happens. You meet someone and you… you get this feeling and you can't ignore it. You lose all reason and you just want to be around that person because when you are, you feel light and giddy. You feel happy. Sometimes it even hurts, but you never want it to stop. And more than anything, you want the person you love to feel that same way about you. You don't always get what you want," he cautioned. "Sometimes you have to let go, watch them fall in love with somebody else, and that hurts too. It hurts more than anything. But believe me, it is no less painful or confusing or frightening for a man to feel that way about a woman than it for him to feel like that about another man."

Kae swallowed hard. It was very difficult to dispute his uncle's tone. "How did you know Jack felt that way about you?" he asked.

Ianto smiled. "Jack isn't exactly shy when it comes to letting other people know how he feels. But it was a long road," he admitted.

"Was it worth it?"

"It gets more and more worth it every day we're together, Kae. I love him with all of my heart," he glanced out at the open sky above the tree line across the road… at the stars. His nephew didn't understand his expression, but there was no doubting how much he was in love with Jack.

"The magazine wasn't mine," he said again. "My best friend Wynn…he… he showed it to me. I wish he hadn't," he admitted guiltily. He felt like he was betraying his friend, but he wished that he'd never seen it, that Wynn had never…

"Why did he show it to you?"

Kae swallowed, shifted uncomfortably. He didn't want to talk about it with anybody, but more than that, he wanted to understand. "He asked me what I thought. You know, of the pictures," heat began to creep into his cheeks. "When I said guys weren't supposed to look at guys, he asked me what I would think if maybe I was a girl and I didn't know what to say. Then he asked me if I'd… he was afraid of what his parents would say if they found it. He doesn't have any sisters—he said that if my parents found it, I could say it was Kenny's or something."

"But you didn't."

"I don't like to lie."

"That's a good trait for a man to have."

Kae just shrugged. He hadn't told his father it wasn't his; it wouldn't have mattered if he had. Just having it was enough for the belt.

"Have you and your friend Wynn talked about it since?" Ianto asked him.

He shrugged again. "I think—I guess maybe we're both trying to pretend it never happened. But I keep thinking about you and Jack—and everything Tad says—and nothing makes any sense. I don't want to stop being Wynn's friend, even if he _is_ a queer only I know that's what Tad will say I have to do, but he's been my very best friend for almost my whole life!"

Ianto bit back a smile; he supposed to a thirteen year old five or six years, however long it had been since he'd met this other boy, must seem like his whole life.

"What should I do?"

"I have friends who are men, who are straight, Kae."

"And that's ok?"

"That's absolutely ok."

"But Tad…" he began, helplessly.

"A lot of people feel the way your father does, Kae. That _doesn't _make them right."

"Is that why you hit him? Because he's wrong?"

"No. I hit him because I lost my temper. I'm sorry I did it—punching someone isn't the way to solve anything."

"Didn't it feel good? After all the things he's said about you and Jack?"

"No. It didn't feel good, Kae. Hitting someone should never feel good."

Kae swallowed hard. Hitting seemed to be his father's answer to everything… Taid's too.

"Kae, listen to me. You're getting to an age where you have to start deciding for yourself what youthink is right or wrong. Nobody but you gets to decide that for you, not your father, not your friends, not anybody. But it seems to me as if you're off to a pretty good start." He offered up the kind of pride-filled smile Kae never got from his own father. "It takes a lot of courage to still want to be friends with someone who's going through a rough time. Your friend Wynn is probably confused about an awful lot of things right now. He's probably scared, too. When I was your age, I didn't have anybody I could trust with something like that. I wish I had."

Kae nodded. He sat a while too, looking up at the stars… he didn't see the same things Ianto did, he didn't see forever or the end of the universe, he just saw twinkling lights… finally he looked up at his uncle. "I'd better get back before Tad notices. He…he told me…"

"I know," said Ianto. Cade had cornered him once and told him that he and 'that other faggot' had better stay away from his kids—when he told Jack, his partner had nearly decked the other man. However, "Do you have my number?" he asked, as Kae started to get up.

He shook his head.

Ianto fished into his pocket, into his wallet, and handed over a newly printed business card—or perhaps it was more of a calling card, at least according to Jack, who at one time must have had stacks of the things. The thought of Jack being subjected to nineteenth century civility was almost amusing at times. The only thing printed on Ianto's cards were his name, email address and mobile number. "You can call me any time, Kae. Day or night, it doesn't matter. If you ever need me, for anything at all, I'll be there," he promised.


	105. Breaking Branches pt 2

**A/N:**

Thank you again for all the wonderful support ;-) Yes, it really has been a long time in coming for Cade.

**Adrianne: **yes, a galactic praying mantis is tempting… or at least a Weevil… but in actuality, it's going to be something a whole lot more terrestrial that "gets" Cade. As for CoE…it definitely threw me for a loop, on so many levels. I think if I hadn't started my "fix it" as it aired over here, I might have just ignored the entire affair, but in the long run, I'm glad I didn't. I love Jack's relationship with Alice and Steven in this too much.

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Five:**

**Broken Branches (pt. 2)**

"_There are always two choices.  
Two paths to take.  
One is easy.  
And its only reward is that it's easy."_

Author Unknown.

* * *

_**1 January, 2011**_

.

"Kae, tell me what happened," Ianto said into the phone. He was only partially aware that he was up and out of bed, looking for his jeans—he took them from Jack's outstretched hand with a smile of gratitude. He managed to shimmy out of his pyjama bottoms and into his jeans one handed while his nephew talked:

"It's all my fault," the boy seemed to be on the verge of tears. "If I'd just listened to my tad none of this would be happening, everything would be all right," he sounded near hysteria.

Ianto's best guess was that Kae had held it together for as long as he could and he was out of the strength to keep himself from crying. "Kae, whatever it is, it's not your fault," he promised, hoping desperately that he wasn't lying. He fished a clean t-shirt out of the bureau drawer. "Where are you?" He didn't even ask if he needed him to come get him; the answer wouldn't have mattered.

"We passed a sign for Talley, I think, just before Mam pulled over," he sounded nervous.

"You're Mam's there?" he asked, startled.

"Mam… she…she packed us all up."

Ianto stopped dead in his tracks. Of all the scenarios, from mildly unpleasant to utterly disastrous, that had played through his mind when he first heard Kae's voice on the other end of the line, the one thing he had not anticipated was Deidre leaving his brother. "Your tad—"

"He was still out at the pub when we left," Kae's voice was trembling. "Mam doesn't know I'm calling you, I said I was coming out to the vending machine. She just packed us up with a few bags full of clothes. I—I… it's my fault."

"Kae, it _isn't_ your fault," he repeated. "No matter what happened, this isn't your fault."

"But if I'd done what he told me to, he wouldn't have…" he started crying, fought it…gave in.

"Kae, I'll be there in about an hour. Ok? Just hang in there."

"I can't tell Mam—"

"That's all right. Just go back to your brothers and sisters. I'll be there as soon as I can, I promise."

"Thank you, Uncle Ianto."

When he hung up the pone, Ianto realized he was shaking too.

"What is it?" Jack asked.

"I'll explain on the way," he told him; his partner was already dressed.

"If you need to be somewhere now…" his wrist strap still worked—had been working for a while. It really wasn't good for more than short trips any more…

Ianto shook his head. "They'll be ok. Deidre left my brother," he told him, still unable to believe that it was true, even after hearing himself say the words aloud. "Kae's scared out of his mind. I'm not sure what happened, but whatever it is, it's not good."

He wasn't entirely surprised when Jack took the extra few minutes necessary to get their side arms out of the closet. He hoped they wouldn't need them, that Cade was passed out drunk somewhere in some pub and wouldn't come stumbling back home any time soon—or that if he did, when he got there he'd be too pissed to notice that the house was empty. If he went looking for them… if he knew where to look… Cade would get to his wife and children before he and Jack could reach them. _But the chances of that are slim,_ the young Welshman told himself. Jack was ready to go; so was he. They left a brief note for Ella in the kitchen, and headed out.

Ianto didn't argue with his husband when he slid into the drivers' side of the big black SUV. As much as he hated driving around Wales in the vehicle that practically screamed 'Torchwood', it was more practical than Jack's little roadster. It would also likely dissuade any nice police officers from pulling them over for speeding… "I've got the address," he announced before they were even at the end of the street. It hadn't been difficult to find it online, on his phone. "Hang on, I'm mapping it now… thank you, Jack," he added softly.

He gave over a quizzical look.

The young Welshman just smiled; Jack hadn't given it so much as a second thought before getting dressed, coming with him. Realizing, probably, that he was too shaky to drive himself, although he would have if he'd had to. "I love you, Cariad," was the only answer he gave to his husband's questioning blue eyes.

Jack answered it with a smile; he turned onto the main road and reached over, taking his hand, twining his fingers securely into the younger man's, a silent reassurance that no matter what, they were in this together. "I love you too, Ianto," his voice was so soft the other almost missed it. _I always will._

* * *

It took Jack less than forty minutes to reach the grossly mis-named "Palace Hotel". It was little more than a travel lodge tucked up away from the main road with a neon 'Va_an_y' sign sputtering in day-glo orange; both _c's _were burned out. It looked like a good place to hide if one was hiding, the Captain reckoned. The hotel had probably been built in the nineteen seventies—it probably had the original carpeting and drapes from thirty years ago, too, if the exterior was anything to go by. Neither man suspected that they got many guests, not unless one counted cockroaches and rodents…

Jack recognized his sister in law's station wagon and pulled in next to it. All of the rooms near by were dark.

Ianto swallowed hard; he cursed himself for not asking Kae what room they were in…

Jack cut the engine. Without a word, he jogged across the lot to the main office where it took very little persuading to get the clerk to offer up the requisite information. If that had failed, there was always the option of hacking the hotel's computers, but he'd rather be in and out as soon as possible. He hurried back to Ianto and the SUV to tell him he had the room number. "It'll be ok," he promised, taking his partner's hand; he knew how much it took to shake his Welshman.

"I just…" the younger man glanced out at the darkened country road again, expecting to see his brother's truck come barrelling up the highway at any second, never mind that there was a very good chance Cade was too drunk to even walk at the moment.

"He's probably sleeping off New Years Eve revelry, somewhere," he did his best to sound certain of his assumption.

So did Ianto: "I know." He was still glad to have the warmth of his husband's hand in his again.

Jack led the way, but it was the younger man who knocked, very lightly. "Deidre," he called out in an equally soft tone, not wanting to startle her—frighten her. There was movement on the other side of the door. "Deidre, it's Ianto and Jack," he said.

Several moments later, curtain shifted in the window next to the door—the door opened, just a crack. Ianto's jaw tightened when he saw the bruises on her face…

"It's not what it looks," she told him, unable to look him directly in the eye. "I—I…" tears trickled down her cheeks. "It's really not what it looks," she repeated.

"Doesn't matter," his words were clipped. "Can we come in?"

"The children—"

"They've got to be scared out of the minds, Deidre," he told her.

She nodded; they were. But instead of letting them in, she slipped out into the cold. Jack slid his coat off and put it around her shoulders before she could blink.

"Thank you," she managed in a weak tone. She looked up at her brother in law, still not making direct eye contact. "Ianto, please, you shouldn't be here, neither of you should. This isn't your problem."

"Are the kids ok?" Jack asked her.

She started to say yes, but then just started crying again. "It's not what you think, it wasn't Cade," she told them. "My Tad… he… I told him I wanted to leave him—your brother—" she looked hopelessly at Ianto as if she expected him to think she was some kind of monster. "I'm sorry, Ianto."

"Shhh," Jack gathered the frightened woman into his arms and held her there, gently. Securely.

Ianto laid a hand on her back. "It's ok. Whatever happened, it's over now. You're going to be all right. That's all that matters. Deidre, you have nothing to be sorry for--"

"I've nowhere to go! I'll have to go back to him and when I do… I'm so stupid!" she sobbed, desperately trying to keep her voice down but unable to keep from crying.

"What about your family?" Jack asked her. Ianto had said that her father was no better than Cade, but… but all he could think of was what he would do if anybody had ever hurt Alice the way Cade had hurt Deidre. As it was, he wanted to hurt his ex-son in law, and he'd never laid a hand on Alice… _he just betrayed their marriage, broke every promise he'd ever made…_ he still wasn't around when Steven needed him. "Can't you go home?" he asked his sister in law softly.

She was shaking her head, crying. "My parents… Tad… he… he won't let me, he told me… he said it was my fault... he said... " _stupid cow..._ her father's words. Everything was her fault. She was a wreched daughter, a bad wife, a horrible mother. If she weren't, Cade wouldn't have had to beat some sense back into Kae... into her. "He told me to fix it." She looked from Ianto to Jack and back again. "But I don't know how to fix it! I'm sorry Ianto, I'm so sorry! I tried so hard—I want to do everything right, but nothing I do is ever good enough for Cade, and I'm so sorry!"

"Deidre, it's not your fault," the young Welshman told her. "Nobody blames you…"

The door opened back up again, then; it was Kae. His lip was bloodied, swollen, his arm bandaged. He looked up at his uncle, eyes full of guilt. Fear.

"It's going to be all right," Ianto promised him, laying a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Come on," Jack said to Deidre. "Why don't we get you guys out of here and back to ours?"

"I… but…Cade…" she looked helplessly at Ianto as if unable to understand why he would want to help her. "He's your brother, Ianto."

"Yes he is, but that doesn't mean I agree with what he did," he looked at his nephew again, hoping for an explanation, wondering what had set Cade off this time, because whatever it was, it had been bad enough to send Deidre packing. _But tomorrow morning she would have slunk back to him,_ he realized, wondering suddenly if they'd done this dance before. If she'd left him before, come back… "What happened, Kae?"

"Tad found out I was still friends with Wynn," he told him. "He… he told me… when the rumours about Wynn started, he told me I couldn't be friends with him any more, but he's my very _best _friend, Uncle Yan. I'm not… we're _just _friends. Best friends. So when a couple of jerks from school started giving him a hard time, I… I got into a fight… but when Tad found out…he said…he said I was… me and Wynn…but we're not, I swear we're not…" he looked suddenly more guilty than ever.

"Shhh, it's all right," Ianto told him in a gentle tone, wondering suddenly when his nephew had gotten to be almost as tall as he was. "You did the right thing."

"You were right," the teenager went on, as if not having heard him. "Punching Billy in the face didn't feel good. I thought it would, I was so mad for all the things he was saying about Wynn, but after I did it…" he hung his head, looking miserable.

"Sometimes you've got to fight," said his uncle. "Even though it doesn't feel good. Sometimes it's the only way to protect yourself or somebody you care about."

Kae nodded. "I just wanted him to shut up."

"I know."

By then, Jack had gotten Deidre into the room, was helping her get the kids up—there were six more besides Kae, now. Trent had been born two years ago, Hallie just thirteen months later.

Kae continued looking at his Uncle Ianto. "When Tad found out why I'd been fighting, he… I thought…" more tears loosed themselves. He'd thought his tad was going to kill him.

"How badly are you hurt?"

"I'm ok."

Ianto nodded. He didn't believe him; as soon as they were back on the road, he was going to call Bobby and ask him meet them at the house. In the meantime, he helped Jack get the kids, all of them frightened and sleepy (their mother had taken them literally out of their beds, still in their pyjamas and taken them out into the night), bundled back up into Deidre's car… Jack said he would drive her, Ianto could take the SUV. Kae asked if he could ride with him.

"Of course you can," he told his nephew.


	106. Breaking Branches pt 3

**A/N:**

Thank you again, everyone for the wonderful reviews this has gotten. In a lot of ways this is a very difficult subject to tackle… sadder still, Kae's grandfather's attitude and actions are based in reality… not mine (my grandmother would have had the testicals of any man who so much as raised a hand to me!) but still… hard to fathom attitudes like that.

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Six:**

**Broken Branches (pt. 3)**

"_Where does discipline end?  
Where does cruelty begin?  
Somewhere between these, thousands of children inhabit a voiceless hell."_

Francois Muriac

* * *

_**1 January, 2011**_

.

Despite the teen's insistence that he could manage it himself, Ianto helped his nephew buckle himself into the passenger seat of the SUV while Jack finished getting the rest of the kids settled into the station wagon for the drive back to Cardiff. They were shaken up emotionally and psychologically but Kae was the only one who had seemed to have been physically hurt. _Thankfully…_ but even one hurt child was too many. Ianto's oldest nephew was seriously favouring his left arm, although he seemed not to want to admit to how bad it was hurt, especially when he asked if he could have a quick look at it.

He didn't _think _it was broken—at least it wasn't looking the same way Sara's had when a Hoix got the better of her last spring. At the moment, he'd take a whole pack of Hoix over what his brother had done to his family. Hoix, like Weevils and even Blow Fish for that matter, were just following their natures, obeying the instincts God and/or evolution had given them; Cade was human. He was capable of better.

_Hell, Abby's practically 'tamed' Janet,_ he mused darkly. How was it that humans were capable of such atrocity when Weevils and more ordinary terrestrial animals looked after their young with fierce protectiveness? He sighed and moved around to the driver's side; Jack caught his eye. Ianto flashed a grim smile.

"All set?" the older man asked—he was standing by the station wagon's open drivers' side door. Deidre was in the passenger, the rest of the kids had piled back into the back. Ianto had stuffed a few of their bags (trash bags, his sister in law had been forced to resort to throwing their clothes into big black _trash bags_) into the back seat of the SUV to give them some more room. He would have offered to take a few of the kids, but the Torchwood SUV really wasn't the best option for transporting children, even if they were likely to be fast asleep again in no time flat; they had to be exhausted.

As to Jack's question, he just nodded and slid into the SUV. "Do you want to talk?" he asked his nephew, as Jack slid behind the wheel of the station wagon.

Kae looked at him—looked away. "What's to talk about?" he asked, sounding miserable, shrugging very carefully with only his good shoulder. "I said what happened."

"I know," he offered up the best smile he could muster. He waited until Jack pulled the old station wagon out of the parking spot next to him before putting the SUV into reverse and following him out of the lot. He glanced in the review mirror—still no sign of Cade's truck. _Thank God._ "Sometimes… sometimes talking helps, though," he tried to sound encouraging. "We didn't have much chance to talk before," he added hopefully. He was sure his nephew had asked to ride with him for a reason. He hoped it was that he wanted to talk.

Kae just shrugged again—he forgot to only do it with one shoulder and grimaced.

Ianto reached over; the boy flinched as he touched his knee. He withdrew. "Sorry."

"'S'ok."

They drove on in silence for several miles before Kae looked at him again. "How did you know?" he asked, very, very softly.

"How did I know? That I liked men as well as women?" he asked.

The teen nodded.

"I suppose… I just… it's like I said before, you just look up one day and you notice this person and something inside your stomach starts to flutter. His name was Aaron," he answered the questioning look on his nephew's face. "He was new to the school—his family had just moved in from Lancaster. He walked into my class and…" he couldn't help the wistful smile. "He was gorgeous in every way."

"How old were you?"

"Sixteen. It wasn't the first time I'd noticed other boys—male pop stars. Actors," he couldn't help feeling a little silly admitting it aloud, although he supposed it was pretty natural. "Aaron was the first guy I'd gotten that fluttery feeling for. I started inventing all sorts of reasons to be near him. I even joined the football team because he played. I ended up being pretty good at it, too," he smiled again.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Well…nothing with Aaron. I was pretty confused, Kae," he told him. "I accept myself exactly as I am now, but when I was sixteen—seventeen—I didn't know which way was up and which way was down. I didn't have any close mates, nobody I could talk to."

"I heard you ran away at seventeen."

Ianto nodded. He wasn't honestly sure how much of his misspent youth was common knowledge amongst his nieces and nephews. "It was really stupid," he told him the truth.

"Wynn talks about running away all the time. He wants to go to London—he says in London you can be anybody you want to be and nobody will care."

"I got lucky, Kae. I met someone, someone really special. My friend Wendy. She took me in—she understood what I was going through because she'd had a pretty rough time of it, too. Most kids don't get that lucky. Most end up on the streets—or worse."

Slowly, he nodded. "But Wynn isn't like you, Uncle Yan. He's not… he doesn't know how to fight or... or anything, and his tad is just like mine. If he ever found out…" he let his voice trail off. He didn't really know what Wynn's father would do if he found out, but he as sure it wouldn't be pleasant.

"I know it's hard. But he's got to hang in there another couple of years… I'm not saying everything magically gets easy once you're an adult," he said. "I'm just saying that _does _get better. I didn't know anything when I was fifteen or sixteen, either."

"I'm not sure he'll be able to hang on that long." He gave over a hopeful look.

"I…I don't know what I can do to help, Kae."

"You could talk to him. Please? Tell him it gets better—let him know it's really ok—? His tad—he's like Taid, one of those religious nutters."

Ianto took a breath and let it out… getting involved could make things so much worse for Kae's friend. There was no guarantee this other boy would even listen to him… _but how can I not try?_ "All right. _After _we get things settled with your Mam and brothers and sisters, and only if he wants to talk to someone, Kae. I'm not going to go forcing my…advice… on someone who doesn't want it." _When did I become someone anyone would want advice from anyway?_ He wondered.

Kae nodded, accepting that that was the best he was going to get from his uncle. It was probably fair. He turned his gaze out the window. It was dark, just like that night he and his uncle had talked three years ago. "Do… what do you think is going to happen?" he asked in an uncertain tone, after a few more miles had passed.

"If I know Jack, he's already sorted out how to get your Mam back on her feet."

"She hasn't had a job since…since I don't know when."

"I know."

"Taid…" he began, then stopped himself. His father had been the one to give him a bloody lip, a black eye, but it was his grandfather who had beaten his mother. It wasn't the first time; every time her and Tad fought, her father… "He won't stand for it, Uncle Ianto. He won't let her… I heard him once. I guess I was eavesdropping," he admitted with a guilty look. "He said that no daughter of his was going to disgrace him by leaving her husband. He said he would rather she were dead than a disgrace to his 'good' name."

Ianto felt his jaw clench; he'd always known his sister in law's father was a piece of work, that he had some extreme religious views… he shook himself. "Your taid hasn't run into someone like Jack before, Kae. Believe me, there isn't anybody he can't handle."

"How did you meet him?"

"Jack?"

He nodded. "How did you know you were really in love with him?"

Ianto smiled. "It's… kind of complicated," he admitted. "But I knew from almost the first moment I saw him that there was something special about him. He…he helped me get over Lisa. Not… it really is complicated," he said again. "We started out as friends—and you know he's my boss, right?"

Kae nodded. "I guess that would make it pretty complicated all right."

The Welshman snickered… it was a good thing Torchwood didn't have a Rule Number Twelve. Then, "is there… is there somebody special in your life? Somebody you get all fluttery around?" he asked carefully, wondering exactly how close Kae and his friend Wynn really were… but his nephew shook his head, telling him that there wasn't anybody, he was just wondering was all… While Ianto wasn't completely convinced, he didn't press the issue, either. He supposed it was as good a time as any to call Bobby, so he picked up his mobile.

Kae shot over a questioning look.

"I'm having a friend meet us at the house," he told his nephew, even as he was dialling.

Wendy answered in three rings.

"It's me," he said to her sleepy hello. "Sorry to wake you," he added, "but I need Bobby to meet us at ours in about…twenty minutes," he told her, glancing at the clock.

"What's going on?" she wanted to know.

"I'll explain in person."

"Do you need me over, too?"

"I think we'll be ok—but I wouldn't mind the company," he admitted. "Especially if you've got a couple of extra blankets and pillows we could borrow for a bit."

She didn't ask why. "I'll see you soon, Sweetheart," she said by way of goodbye. "Hey—I love you."

"I love you too," he told her.

Kae was still looking pensive.

"Wendy and Bobby are good people," Ianto told him. "I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but everything will be all right. I promise."

Kae nodded… a few seconds later, Ianto's mobile rang. It was Nerys.

"Cade is at Mam's looking for Deidre and the kids," she told him, skipping over hello all together. "He's piss drunk, Ianto... I could hear him yelling in the background when she called... they're not there. They're not here, either."

With each word out of his sister's mouth, Ianto felt his chest constrict a little more. "Is Mam all right?" he wanted to know. He couldn't imagine Cade lifting a hand against their mother, but if he was drunk...

"I sent Mickey over. She said Gavin was already on his way, but... Ianto, Deidre wasn't with them, either," she sounded more worried about her and the kids than their mother... not that Mickey couldn't handle Cade, if he really was out of control.

"They're with us," he said. "Everybody's fine," he added before Nerys could ask.

"Oh, thank God. Do you need anything?"

"I don't think so."

"Ianto…"

"I'll call Mam in the morning—or she can call us. I've the feeling ours is the last place Cade would look, anyway."

"All right," she agreed. "But you can expect to see me first thing in the morning."

Ianto smiled; coming from his sister, that was no idle threat…


	107. Breaking Branches pt 4

**A/N:**

Thank you for the lovey reviews and even more lovely words (even the rants ;-). I appreciate hearing from everyone who has had something to say on the subjects I've been tackling in this one. It really means a lot to me. I was pretty lucky when I came out; my grandmother was still reeling from hearing that I was no longer a practitioner of the same faith as her. I think she took *that* harder than my being bisexual. ;-) I never bothered telling the rest of my family and my friends were wonderfully accepting. I think my daughter's only reaction was a slightly raised eyebrow and a 'whatever', the first time I (intentionally) mentioned an ex girlfriend in front of her. She pretty much accepts that her mom is a little bit different.

Now the "bad" news: I have *got* to get cranking on some artwork (I'm hopelessly behind and won't have everything I'd wanted to have done for art show I'm hanging in in a couple of weeks, but that's ok... I just need to get a few more pieces done so I don't have all empty panel space ;) But... the next chapter practically wrote itself in my head this morning, so hopefully tomorrow or Tuesday I"ll get it finished and posted (it's a good one, the full explanation of the Kae/Wynn situation), since Mondays aren't really the best days out of my week for painting anyway. After that it might be a while before I get any writing done.

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Seven:**

**Broken Branches (pt. 4)**

"_You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived  
are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."_

Henry Drummond

* * *

_**1 January, 2011**_

.

"Thanks for coming out," Ianto said to Bobby and Wendy as soon as he got out of the SUV; they had pulled up to the curb in front of the house at almost the same time as he and Jack were pulling in. Jack had pulled in first, backing the station wagon as far back into the driveway as he could get it. From the street it would be difficult to see Deidre's car. If he got one of the tarps out of the back of the SUV, later after things were more settled, he could further obscure his sister in law's car from view. He didn't really expect his brother to come here looking, but he would rather be safe than sorry.

"It's no problem," Bobby answered him; he was carrying his kit, no doubt having figured that if he was being called to come out in the middle of the night, it meant they needed a doctor, not just a friend. While he came over to find out what was going on, Wendy went to help Jack with Deidre and the kids.

"I don't know how bad his arm really is," Ianto told the medic in quiet voice, nodding towards Kae, who was climbing very carefully out of the SUV, looking like every little movement hurt. "His Mam's pretty bruised up, too," he added.

Bobby nodded. "What seems to be the matter?" he asked the teen.

"It's nothing," the boy responded in a dull tone. He was cradling his bandaged arm in front of him, not making eye contact. He'd met him, but only once or twice.

"Mind if I have a look?" said Bobby.

"It's really nothing. It's just a little banged up is all." He seemed to stop himself just short of trying to say he'd fallen or had some other household mishap.

"Tell you what, why don't we get you into the house where I've got some light and you let me be the judge of that, ok?" the Australian's tone remained steady, calm. Friendly.

Kae looked up at Ianto, his expression uncertain. Unhappy. "I don't want to talk about it any more," he said to his uncle.

"I'll just look," the other man told him. "I won't ask any questions. I promise."

Reluctantly, Kae nodded. He insisted on carrying in one of the bags with his good arm, even though it was obvious how much pain he was in.

Ianto hung back a moment with Bobby, to tell him what had happened, at least to the best of his knowledge. "I wish I knew more," he said, although his tone suggested that that may not be one hundred percent true. If he knew more, he might not be able to stop himself from tracking Cade down and beating him senseless… not that it would solve anything, but regardless of what he'd told his nephew, Ianto was certain that would make him feel better.

"I'll need to get an x-ray of that arm," Bobby told him. "Sooner is better than later, Yan."

He nodded; he'd anticipated as much. He just didn't think Kae would want to go, not with the way he kept insisting he was fine. "Have a look at Deidre first. I'm pretty sure she's just bruised up pretty badly—scared—but maybe once her and the kids are settled, it'll be easier to get Kae to go to hospital."

* * *

Despite the anxious look that Deidre was giving him, Jack hoisted her two year old daughter Hallie up into one arm and grabbed one of the bags out of the back with the other. The child clung to him, seeming to take comfort in his warmth—his scent (she had her nose buried right into his coat)—even though she barely knew him.

Deidre pulled Trent up into her arms, but couldn't manage the three year old she'd been pregnant with when Jack had first met her, and a bag (the truth was that she was barely managing her son). But by then Wendy had reached them and easily pulled the rest of the bags out of the station wagon. Deidre gave her a thin smile and headed towards the front door. Jack followed, with the other four children trailing sleepily after him; Kendra, especially, hung close by.

"Looks like you've made some friends," Wendy said in the Captain's direction.

He managed a hollow sounding chuckle—but when he looked down at Kendra, his smile warmed. She reciprocated. She'd already told him how happy she was to see him and her Uncle Ianto tonight. It had been a harrowing day; Deidre hadn't wanted to talk about it, but Kendra hadn't been at all shy about telling him what had happened, what their tad had done to Kae. What their grandfather had done to their mother.

Ignoring the churning in his gut, Jack shot a wry grin to Wendy over his shoulder. "What can I say? I've always had a way with the ladies." The comment made Kendra giggle, but anyone older, or who knew him better, would have known immediately that despite his attempt at levity, his mood was foul. (No one saw Deidre's expression—she didn't know what to make of Jack. She never had.)

Ella Harkness greeted them at the front door; her son had called ahead to warn her that they were coming home with Deidre and her brood (what else could one call seven children?) Despite her personal feelings, however, she held the door open wide and gave Ianto's sister in law a warm smile, telling her not to worry, that everything would seem brighter in the morning; it didn't look as if Deidre believed her.

Ella she turned to Jack and Wendy. "Leave all that in the lounge, for now. We'll get the children settled in first—Jack, you'll have to move a couple of the chairs and that coffee table can go into the back room."

"I brought a few spare blankets," Wendy told her, although it looked as if Ella had already brought down enough to go around.

"Good," answered the older woman anyway, sounding as if she meant it. She told Deidre to go on into the kitchen and make herself a cup of tea and then began directing the children to get themselves set up while Wendy and Jack moved the furniture. Although she'd only met them a couple of times, Ella had no problem remembering all of the kids' names. She had the older two girls, Kendra and Cameryn, get the two youngest children settled in first and let Dillon and Tarra, the two middle siblings, feel useful by having them run out to Wendy and Bobby's car for the extra pillows and blankets they'd brought, telling them that it couldn't be a right proper sleep over without lots of pillows and blankets. Her warm smile and easy manner put them instantly at ease.

Watching his mother out of the corner of his eye, Jack was suddenly taken back to one of the darkest moments of his own childhood. He'd been nine, or maybe then, he reckoned, the first time those…_things_… had attacked the Boeshane Peninsula. The first attack came in the middle of the night. He remembered waking up to a huge bang…or thud… his memory was hazy on whether it had been an explosion or maybe something else, but after that there was screaming… running… smoke… cold, horrible terror.

Yet in a lot of ways, the aftermath had been worse than the assault itself. He was sure, trying to remember it with an adult perspective, that the attack hadn't lasted for more than an hour, but it had taken them days…maybe even weeks… to recover. Not that they ever fully recovered. Homes and crops had been destroyed. Children were left without parents, parents without children, families were scattered, everyone was in shock. Something like that wasn't supposed to have happened there. The planet was supposed to be _safe_. It was a boarder world, one of the fringe planets, but it had been carefully surveyed, there were no hostile natives, none of the other planets in the system were inhabited by complex life forms. But regardless of all the shouldn't-haves and couldn't-haves, they had been attacked and his mother had been so amazing in the aftermath. She'd called for and organized volunteers to find and care for the survivors. She'd helped set up a shelter, distributed food and water, made sure everyone who needed medical care got it… people like her had held the settlement together. He couldn't believe he'd almost forgotten how amazing she'd been… _but two thousand years will do things to a person's memory… _

Wendy's hand on his arm brought him back to the present.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Yeah…just…. Yeah, I'm fine," his voice was uncharacteristically soft. He realized that Ianto had come in with Bobby and Kae and that even though his Welshman seemed pre-occupied with his family, with getting Deidre to agree to let Bobby have a look at her, that he was looking at him, too, concern playing in those beautiful blue grey eyes.

Jack slipped over to him, reached out—Ianto took his hand, wrapped his fingers tight around his. "I…" the younger man began, but was silenced by the gentle tightening of his husband's grip, by the way Jack dew his hand up to his lips, brushing a soft kiss over his knuckles. "Thank you," he said instead giving him the apology that seemed to be playing on the tip of his tongue.

"We're in this together, Sweetheart. No matter what happens." Aliens, in laws, it didn't matter… when Ianto leant into him, he wrapped his arms around the younger man's shoulders and held him tight. "I love you," he whispered softly.

"I love you too, Cariad," he replied, just as softly. "I love you so much…"

Jack pulled him just a little closer, held on just a little tighter.

Neither of them noticed the way Ianto's sister in law was watching them, trying to figure out how two men living the in kind situation she'd been raised to believe was an abomination, wickedness…could be so obviously happy together, so much more happy than she'd ever been in her marriage. How could they so generous… so selfless… with her, her children…with each other? What made their relationship work when hers had failed, even though she'd given her husband everything he'd ever asked her for… ? _Seven children_… having all those children had been his idea… and she loved her children, really she did. She loved each and every one of them, but… But how could she wish she'd never had Hallie, her little angel, or Trent, or Tarra…what kind of person _was _she?

"Deidre?" Bobby's voice cut through the dark cloud of her thoughts. "I really need to look your injuries," he repeated.

Nodding, she finally consented to let him examine her. Mostly she was just bruised up… she'd gotten pretty good at first aid over the years… his manner was… gentle. More gentle than she thought she deserved, even when he stitched up the gash over her right eye. He numbed the area first, made careful little stitches, promised her that the scar would be barely noticeable.

And Ianto was right, after Kae saw that his mother was all right, after he was sure that the rest of the family was settled into the lounge (except for Kendra, who was hovering near the two men), he let Bobby look at him, too. His arm started to swell up even before the tightly wound bandage had been completely removed.

"I thought wrapping it was the best thing to do," said Deidre. She looked like she was expecting one or more of them to hit her… to yell at her. "I didn't know what else to do," she shrank further back into herself, her arms wrapped tightly around her chest.

Kae's arm was black and blue… red and swollen. A nearly perfect handprint could be made out in the bruising.

"It was probably the best thing at the time," Bobby told her in an earnest enough tone. "But right now, what I need to do right now is get him to St Helen's so we can get an x-ray of that arm."

"Does it have to be tonight?" she looked more uncertain than ever.

"Yes. There's a very good chance it's fractured—the sooner I know for sure, the better."

"Will… will you…?" she began, but then hesitated. "I… I'm sorry… I know you're not really a… I mean," she cast a nervous glance in Jack's direction before returning her gaze to the medic. "That is, I'm sure you've got more important things to do Dr Chase. Of course I'll take him to the A and E straight away…"

Bobby cut her off: "I'll take him in," he said. "You've had a rough night as it is."

"But…" she hesitated again. "I really don't want to be any more of a nuisance than we've been already," she looked at Jack.

"Don't be silly. Why don't you stay here and get some rest?" he suggested. "I'm sure it won't take long…" he gave Bobby a questioning look.

The medic flashed a reassuring smile. "Shouldn't do. A couple of hours, tops. Jack's right, you should get some sleep."

Her gaze flickered to her son, seeming to rest on every bruise…

"I'll be fine, Mam, really," he told her. He didn't sound especially certain; he looked Ianto's way, his expression obvious. He wanted him to go with them.

Ianto nodded, but… "Jack…?"

"Go on. I'll hold down the fort here."


	108. Breaking Branches pt 5

**A/N:**

First of all, thank you again, so very much for the warm reception this one has gotten. I'm honestly, utterly, overwhelmed by how much this has touched other people.

Yes, my daughter, at 13, still finds the idea of sex in general kind of gross. That's an attitude I hope will continue for some time, although we do talk pretty openly about the subject in general. (I was raised by a grandmother whose idea of the safe sex talk was to remind me that *everybody* knew that only "bad" girls had sex before marriage—and only a "bad" guy would marry a girl who wasn't a virgin. Good girls should stay clear of those sorts of boys at all costs. Is this a good or a bad time to mention that my husband's Facebook avatar is Darth Maul?)

Secondly, I plead a huge gap in knowledge where medicine is concerned, so I hope I didn't make an absolute mess of the technical details I mostly glossed over anyway.

And lastly... this was hugely influenced by the not so subtle hints from you guys (you know who you are). When I started the Kae / Wynn arc, it could have gone either way, I hadn't fully decided, I was just letting it play out.

Ok, I'm off to go paint… I'll be back soon, though, I promise. :)

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Eight:**

**Broken Branches (pt. 5)**

"_There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.  
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.  
They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love."_

Washington Irving

* * *

_**1 January, 2011**_

.

"Hey," Bobby's voice startled his colleague from a light sleep.

"Sorry," Ianto apologized, sitting up straighter in the waiting room chair. He accepted the paper cup filled with what he presumed was supposed to be coffee with more gratitude than the stuff in question actually deserved. "How is he?" he asked. A quick glance at the waiting room clock told him that it was nearly nine o'clock in the morning. He hadn't been dozing long.

Bobby sat down next to him. "He's got a spiral fracture—it's pretty bad," he said, although his expression had told the Welshman that already.

"Does he need surgery?" he asked, remembering a similar injury he'd sustained at the hands of an irate Weevil last year. He'd been miserable, stuck in a cast for a little over two months, then a brace for another few weeks…what had been worse was leaving all of the housework and childcare to Jack… well Ella was there too and she really was a perfectly adequate housekeeper… but…

"I'd like to hold off and see how it heals on its own," the other answered his question. "He's a pretty tough kid, Ianto."

He looked at him a moment. "Do I want to know?"

Bobby shrugged. "That kind of fracture all by itself would have been enough for me to call social services if I was just some doctor doing my job. But…yeah, there's evidence of older… injuries." He said, clearly not wanting to call it what it was. Evidence of past abuse. "I'm sure if I asked, he'd just say he got into a lot of fights, had a few accidents," he told him.

"But you don't think so?" it was only barely a question.

"I doubt it."

The younger man nodded, gulped down some of the foul black liquid.

"Ianto, there's no way you could have known. You don't see them that often…"

"Maybe I should have done."

"But you didn't. You can't beat yourself up for that."

He sighed. Nodded. There wasn't much else to say… "Thank you, Bobby."

"I was happy to help." He stood back up. "He should be ready to go home. I'll get him something for the pain… did you want to back and sit with him—I might be a few minutes?"

"Yeah. I'd like that. Thanks."

He got one of the nurses to take him back and went to the dispensary. It wasn't exactly standard procedure, but after the last couple of years he was finding that fewer and fewer people questioned him. Pretty much everyone at St Helen's knew he was with Torchwood and even if they didn't know everything they did, they knew enough, appreciated them enough, not to give them a hard time.

* * *

Kae looked up when his uncle came into the quiet little room he'd been left sitting in. Alone. They'd fitted him with a cast to keep his arm still while the bone healed. Dr Chase had been there almost the entire time, he'd even taken the x-ray himself, shown it to him, explained it to him. He hadn't treated him like a little kid the way the nurse had, or looked at him funny like the other doctor had.

He hadn't liked waiting alone and had reckoned it was Dr Chase coming back in when the door first opened… as soon as he saw it wasn't, he felt his cheeks going hot. As much as he hated sitting there all alone, facing his uncle was harder; somehow having the cast on his arm made everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours seem more real.

"I hear you're about ready to go home," Ianto seemed like he was trying to sound encouraging.

"Yeah, I guess," Kae didn't look him in the eye. "I really messed everything up, didn't I, Uncle Yan?"

"What makes you say that?"

"If it weren't for me… if I'd just… I didn't mean for any of this… I…" he was on the verge of tears again. "I'm sorry," he sniffled.

Ianto laid a hand on his shoulder. "Kae, you have nothing to be sorry for. This wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was."

He sat down next to him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

The teen swallowed, shook his head. He refused to look up at his uncle.

"Look… whatever it is… there is nothing you can't come to me with. I know… I know we've never been the closest and talking doesn't solve everything—sometimes it doesn't seem to solve anything. But I always feel better after I've talked to someone about what's bothering me. You might feel better too." He knew how lame that sounded, he just hoped…

His nephew was giving him an incredulous look. "What bothers _you?_"

Ianto smiled, understanding the question for what was really meant by it. "Lots of things still bother me, Kae, even though I'm all grown up. For one thing, it bothers me what your tad did to you and your mam. It bothers me that there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening—that I wasn't around more when maybe I should have been."

Kae swallowed hard, but the lump in his throat wouldn't go down. "Mam always says that it's her fault. But right now, I feel like it's all mine."

"It's not your fault or your mam's. Your tad… he has a problem Kae. Probably lots of problems, but none of them have anything to do with you or your mother."

"He drinks too much."

"Yes. He does."

"It always makes him meaner."

Ianto nodded. "And that isn't your fault. It isn't anybody's."

"Maybe if I was less of a disappointment, he wouldn't need to drink so much," the boy opined.

"You're not a disappointment—"

"Yes I am. He hates me. He says it all the time but…" he shut his eyes tight, but the tears came anyway. "He grabbed me so hard… he said he wished I was dead. He said… he said… I'm the oldest, Uncle Yan, I'm supposed to make him proud of me, not…"

Ianto gathered him into his arms and held him while he sobbed himself out.

"I know it's my fault Mam had to marry him," Kae said at after many, many long moments. "I wish…I wish…"

"Shhhh," Ianto brushed away the moisture on his cheeks. "Don't ever wish a thing like that, Kae."

"But if it wasn't for me everything would be ok!"

"Believe me, it wouldn't be ok. Your father would still be the person he is. And some day… some day you're going to grow up and you're going to be somebody's husband, somebody's father…"

He looked away.

Ianto kept talking anyway. "Someday you're going to be the whole world to someone and whoever that someone is, they're going to be very, very glad that you were born. I'm already glad," he added gently. "Because if you hadn't called me tonight, there's no telling what might have happened to your brothers and sisters. You did exactly what a big brother is supposed to do."

He pulled away, wiping the back of his good hand across his face. "I didn't do nothing special, I just… I got scared. That's all. I know I'll never… I'll never be anything or anybody…"

"Yes you will. Kae—you already are. You are so special. But some day, to one person, you're going be the most special person in the whole universe and believe me, when that happens—it's a good feeling Kae."

More tears came, along with a couple of silent shudders, sobs he was obviously trying (and failing) to keep in.

Ianto laid a hand on his shoulder and asked in a careful, gentle tone if the way he felt had anything to do with his friend Wynn.

Kae didn't respond at first, but then, looking guilty, like he'd been caught in something he shouldn't be in, he nodded.

"Do you want to talk?"

He hesitated, but then, "I… we… it was stupid. It was… it wasn't anything. It was just… it was my fault."

"Why don't you tell me anyway? It's probably not nearly as stupid as you think."

He hesitated again, a long while, before eventually finding his voice—or perhaps just the courage to use it. "We were at a friend's house last night—or, you know, night before last, I guess. I've known Bekka since forever, just like Wynn and it was me and him and a few other people. Bekka's parent's are on holiday, they left her and her older sister alone, only Stephanie—that's her sister, she's 18—she was gone out her boyfriend all night, so it was just us and… and we were drinking," he admitted.

Ianto just nodded. Teenagers, no supervision…of course they were drinking. "What happened?" he kept his tone soft.

"Nothing. Not really. I mean… it started out as nothing. See, we were playing truth or dare—or I guess it was really truth or truth because nobody ever picks dare, and… and it was Bekka's turn and she picked Wynn and he picked _dare _! _**Everybody**_ knows nobody's supposed to pick dare but he did and then Bekka dared him and me to snog, even though it was his dare not mine," his words came out in a tumbled rush, but they were followed by a long moment of silence. Kae looked up at him. Looked away. He swallowed hard.

"What happened?" Ianto coaxed him again.

"I… he… it was just us… I mean it was just us and Bekka and a couple of other really close mates, so when he gave me this look, like he wanted to know if it was ok—like he was kinda scared, you know? Like he didn't want me to take it the wrong way or something. But I just shrugged at him, cuz it was no big deal. We were all pretty pissed anyway, so I guess maybe I wasn't thinking, but what the Hell…sorry," he ducked his head. "He's my best mate. I mean, so what if we're both guys why should that make a difference? He kisses Bekka all the time—so do I—I mean, you know, just a peck, it doesn't mean nothing, not like before when I kissed Kellie. She was my girlfriend," he explained. "We went to a couple of school dances together and stuff," he said before Ianto asked. "I kissed her, with tongue and everything, only I never got the fluttery feeling like you said and I never made up any excuses to be around her or anything. I didn't even care when I asked her to the last dance and she said she already had a date. I have more fun with Wynn and Bekka anyway."

Ianto nodded at him.

"I don't know why Bekka wanted me and Wynn to kiss," Kae told him (Ianto had his suspicions, but he kept them to himself). "But we did, cuz it was a dare and it's either do the dare or the truth or drink a shot of tequila… mostly we were just drinking beer. The shots were just… you know, to make the game more interesting," he said. "Wynn didn't stick his tongue down my throat or anything, but Bekka said it had to be on the lips." His face reddened. "Nothing happened. I mean. Everyone clapped and stuff, but I didn't care about that—and Wynn was really funny when he did it," a ghost of a smile crept over his features despite how embarrassed he obviously felt. "I could tell he… I mean… even though he tried to make a joke out of the whole thing, I knew he kinda liked it too…" his cheeks went from pink to bright red. "I tossed a pillow at him afterwards, I don't remember what I said, but it was something funny, something so no one would notice, you know... he was pitching a tent," he finally managed to get it out.

"Sounds like you two really care about each other."

He nodded, looking miserable again. "I've known him my whole life and it was just a stupid game. It's not like it _meant_ anything. We were drunk."

Again, Ianto just nodded, keeping his thoughts to himself, because clearly something had happened after that kiss and whatever it was, it wasn't good.

"A bunch of us crashed over. Like I said, we were all totally wasted. Even though I'd walked over I didn't want to try and make it back. Wynn either. Since me and him were the only two guys who stayed, we slept in the lounge—all the girls went into Bekka's room. I guess we could've slept on the sofa or something, but we ended up on the floor together, under Bekka's duvet…the house was pretty cold… and we… me and Wynn just…" he stared down at the ugly tile floor. "I woke up with him curled up next to. You know, right up close with his arms around me and stuff and I… I guess… I was holding him, too. And… I just… I liked the way it felt, having somebody next to me like that," he admitted with a sidelong glance, probably trying to figure out what his uncle was thinking—but Ianto was keeping his face carefully neutral, just like his tone, so Kae just kept talking. "I never thought about Wynn like that before, Uncle Yan, but all of a sudden, I…I kinda wondered what it would be like to kiss him for real… you know, if it would be like kissing Kellie or if I'd get that fluttery feeling you said I would. I mean. I'd kinda gotten it te first time, but… I mean… kissing your best friend in front of all your other friends… I was pretty nervous even though I was the one to say it was ok. But then we fell asleep like we did and so I just… I laid there forever thinking about how nice it was to have somebody… anybody really, but… but how _extra_ nice it was being there like that with Wynn because he's not just anybody, he's my very best friend. We already do everything together and…and I just thought… I thought how nice it would be to you know, to _really _have somebody like that… I mean… I don't mean… I just mean like you and Jack…" the tips of his ears had turned a deep shade of crimson. "Like how you're always holding hands and stuff. Like how you really love each other. Mam and Tad… sometimes I wonder if they even _like_ each other."

Ianto sighed and put an around his nephew's shoulder. "Relationships can get really complicated, Kae."

"Yeah. I know. I just… I wish things were different," he looked up at him then. "I wish my parents were like you."

Ianto gave over tight lipped smile. "What happened with you and Wynn?" he asked, steering the conversation back to what he suspected was the real problem.

Kae studied the floor some more.

"I was just laying there like I said, holding him, thinking all kinds of… of stupid crazy sh—stuff…when all of a sudden Wynn woke up and… and he started acting all weird and stuff and I tried to talk to him, mostly about that kiss, but… but maybe to ask him if…" he shrugged. "I doesn't matter. I barely got to say anything before he told he me he'd been so pissed the night before that he didn't even remember falling asleep next to me and he hoped he didn't snore or anything embarrassing like that. It was kinda early—like maybe ten o'clock, and no one else was up, but he said he wanted to go home, even though Bekka said she'd cook breakfast for us… I said he shouldn't walk home alone so I'd go too. He didn't want me to, but I did anyway and it's a good thing. We'd just about got our street when we ran into a bunch of guys from school and they started saying stuff and I lost my temper and punched Billy MacCullen. And Tad saw and heard some of the stuff they were sayin'—it wasn't the first time he'd heard stuff about Wynn, either. Everybody knows about him—I mean, he's not like you or Jack, it's pretty easy to tell he's… you know," heat began to creep back into his cheeks again. "That's why Tad told me to stay away from him before. He I can't be friends with someone like that, said it wasn't 'natural', he said he'd… you know, that being around him would turn me queer."

"Kae, no one can turn gay any more than anyone can turn you straight or bisexual for that matter. It's a part of who you are, and it's something you've got to sort out for yourself," he added to the questioning—_pleading_—look in his nephew's eyes. "I can't tell you what how you feel, only you know for sure how you really felt when you kissed another boy."

"Nervous. Scared at first but then… then I wanted to do it again. It wasn't like kissing Kellie. Tad…"

"Don't worry about what your father says, Kae. Only you can decide the kind of man you want to grow into."

Slowly, he nodded. "When he saw what was going on, he grabbed me by the arm… he grabbed me so hard… I thought he'd broken it," he admitted. "He dragged me into the house—I think Wynn ran home."

"He must have been terrified."

"I am too. If his tad finds out… I don't want him to run away Uncle Yan, not to London or anywhere else. I…. I don't know what I want, or how I feel… I just… I don't want to lose my best friend and I feel like it's all my fault because if I hadn't gone to that stupid party, none of this would be happening. We'd all be safe at home…"

"Kae, even if you hadn't gone, if nothing had happened between you and your friend, your parents would still be… your father would still be the person he is. So would your Mam. And I was pretty drunk the first time I kissed Jack," he confided quietly. "I don't think I'd have had the courage otherwise."

"But you said…?"

"Oh, he'd flirted with me, but he flirts with everybody. I won't ever tell him this, he's already got too big an ego, but he is pretty dashing," he grinned; Kae did too. Everyone had been subjected to 'Captain Dimples' at his best (or perhaps worst) a time or two. "I know I'm just average," Ianto went on. "And I'm sure he didn't know I fancied him—I'm not sure I knew it myself, I just knew I liked being around him. I liked it that we were friends." It seemed like a lifetime ago, that night on the roof, Jack's coat wrapped securely around his shoulders, making him feel so warm. So… happy. For the first time in such a long time… "He took me out to dinner to say thank you for some extra work he'd managed to trick me into volunteering for. He cheats," he said with another smile. "He _always _cheats."

"What happened?"

"He didn't get me drunk on purpose, we were just having a good time talking. Eating. We went for a walk after dinner and…and I snogged my boss."

Kae didn't seem to be able to help but grin.

"Then he took me home. Nothing happened," he intoned, deadpan.

"How come?"

"I was drunk—he was right, it would have been a mistake. But I'm not sure I ever would have kissed him if it hadn't been for the wine. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it sounds like you and Wynn need to talk, to sort it out for yourselves… but you shouldn't let the fact that it started with a drunken snog make you think it doesn't mean anything. If I had to guess, I'd say he was probably afraid you were going to be upset at him over it."

"But… how can I talk to him? I mean… I thought we'd just talk at school or something, but then everything else happened and I meant it when I said I wanted you to talk to him, but…"

"We'll sort something out, Kae. I promise."


	109. Breaking Branches pt 6

**A/N:**

Yes, I'm supposed to be busy painting…but I've decided that I'm going to take what I have done and *not* stress about it. I'm pretty pleased with what I've got to show (and I've still got a couple of days to wrap up… and do a couple of other things for next weekend...) in the meantime, writing is really good "therapy" for me. The last couple of days have been a bit weird (bad-weird, not good-weird… on top of a whole mountain of extended-family issues, I got something dumped on me the other night that I just wasn't expecting, so I needed to sit and write for a while. On the upside, you guys get to enjoy—well, hopefully ;-)

PS – and to answer a question I got, Nerys' daughter Remy is 11 in this one. (And don't feel bad, I had to go back to my notes to be sure, myself!)

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Nine:**

**Broken Branches (pt. 6)**

"If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end;  
if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth,  
only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair."

C.S. Lewis

* * *

_**1 January, 2011**_

.

Kae was quiet most of the way back to the house; he seemed to breathe easier when Ianto pulled onto their street. "Are you all right?" he asked, as he eased his red hybrid over to the curb, just behind Jack's (entirely too flashy) little two-seater.

The teen looked unsure, but answered, "Yeah. I'm ok, I guess. Uncle Yan…what… what's going to happen now? With Mam and Tad and… and the rest of us?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted. They both got out of the SUV. "After your mam's had a chance to get some sleep, we'll probably have to start thinking about hiring an attorney."

"She'll never do that. She… she _can't_."

"Kae, you can't go back to that house. If you're worried about being safe—"

He shook his head. "It's not that," although clearly he _was_ afraid of Cade would do, Ianto could see it on his nephew's face. "Lawyers cost money," the boy told him. "Lots of money—"

"Don't worry about it, Kae. We'll sort it out."

"How?"

"Jack and I helped Nerys with her divorce," he explained simply, laying his hand on his nephew's shoulder. "We'll get through this, Kae, just like we got through that. I promise, everything will be all right. Just give it time. It won't be easy, but things _will_ work out."

Kae looked at him…glanced up towards the house… and looked back at him again. "I know what you said before… about where you and Jack work, but…but I heard Uncle Gavin talking to Nerys' boyfriend… and… you don't really work for the Tourist Board, do you?"

"No," he admitted. "Neither does Jack." He honestly wondered how he'd gotten away with that lie for as long as he had, because really, _Jack _as a tourist office manager? It certainly wasn't one of his better pieces of creative PR. _Then again, when I first started lying about where I worked, I never expected to bring my boss home to meet my family… never expected to end up living with him. _His smile deepened without his realizing it. It really did feel like a lifetime ago. And Kae was still looking at him, expecting an answer. "I work for Torchwood," Ianto told him the truth instead of trying to spin another lie. It was pointless. As much as Jack hated it, Torchwood was becoming more and more public. It wasn't just Owen ordering pizza under the name Torchwood any more, it was everything that had happened in the last two years… the last decade. "Jack is my boss," he said. "He…he's been protecting this city—this planet—for a very long time."

Whatever Kae thought of that, he kept it himself. "What about Dr Chase?" he wondered. "And your friend Wendy and…?"

"Bobby and Wendy work with us, too," he cut him off before he ended up giving his nephew the entire Torchwood employee roster. They'd long since arrived at the front stoop, but Kae didn't seem to want to go in. Ianto sat on the step; the cement was cold. His nephew sat down next to him anyway.

"What do you do?"

"Just what I said. Protect this city—this planet. Mostly from aliens. Occasionally from its own people." He still hadn't set foot back in Brecon Beacons or allowed himself to be talked into camping since that time he'd nearly ended up on an all too human cannibal's dinner table.

"Have you ever… you know…?" Kae glanced up at the sky and back at his uncle again.

Ianto smiled. "Once or twice. It wasn't much fun."

The teen blinked at him.

"It's hard to have fun when you're being shot at." He was sure that Jack would have some witty, sexual, comeback for a statement like that. Thankfully, he was still inside the house.

"They can't all be bad… I mean… wouldn't aliens be just like us? Just regular people? I mean… you know, they'd be different and stuff, but…" he gave over a helpless look, like he couldn't believe they were all like the Daleks… Cybermen. The 456.

"Most of them are just like us," Ianto told him, not so secretly proud of his nephew for figuring that out all on his own, especially given the kind of prejudice he knew Kae had been indoctrinated with. He wondered, not for the first time, what had happened to Cade, why he was so bitter, so angry… "Aliens might look different," he carried on, "but inside, we're all God's creatures, Kae. It's just that some of those creatures are… some of them are like the Nazis during the War, or terrorists, where one or two really bad people give a whole group a bad name," he used the best analogies his sleep and caffeine deprived brain could come up with—although as far as he knew there was no such thing as a Dalek with a conscience or a Blow Fish who wasn't an insane hedonist.

"You still believe in all that? God, I mean."

"Do you?" he asked, instead of answering. His kept voice very carefully neutral, so that Kae could answer for himself, rather than giving the answer he thought was expected.

"I don't know any more," the teen admitted. "I mean, we go to church and stuff. We have to. But it's like… like they tell us all this stuff and none of it makes any sense," he looked at him, his thoughts clearly having returned to more terrestrial concerns… his parents. His friend Wynn. Fresh tears began to well up. "Why is it so bad to love somebody for who they are? Nain says that if you really love someone, you have to change them, to Save them, but… but it doesn't seem fair."

"It's not fair. And that isn't… I can't tell you what to believe," he said, instead of continuing along his original thought. "But I do know somebody you can talk to, if you want to."

Kae gave him a questioning look.

"Bobby—Dr Chase—spent several years in seminary school before he became a doctor. He knows what it's like to lose your faith and to find it again."

"You never lost yours?"

"Maybe for a little while, after I lost Lisa. But then I met Jack and entirely without meaning to, he helped me find it again." Which was ironic, really, considering his husband's views on religion in general.

"Uncle Ianto… do you really think I'll be someone special to someone, some day?"

"Yes. I really do."

Kae smiled… They both looked up when Nerys' car rounded the corner and pulled up to the curb in front of the house. Remy was with her, but not Mickey—Kae wiped away his tears quickly.

"Why don't you go on inside and see if you can get some sleep?" Ianto suggested as his sister and nice made their way over; he was almost resentful of the fact that she had a Starbucks cup in hand. _One_ Starbucks cup.

Much to his relief, however Kae didn't argue the notion of going on inside; he was probably too tired to. Ianto waited until Nerys had sent Remy in as well before asking her what had happened last night.

"I ought to ask you the same," she answered him in a dark tone. "Cade broke his arm, didn't he?"

He nodded. "There was some fight with another boy, he dragged him off him."

She frowned.

"The fight was over Kae standing up for a gay kid in his class," he kept the details as minimal as possible.

"Oh God. I'm just glad he didn't kill him," she sat down on the stoop, handing Ianto her coffee. They took it the same.

He took a grateful sip, sitting down next to her and agreeing that he was relieved as well.

"Mam's made Cade stay over last night, said he was so pissed it was a wonder he'd gotten as far as hers," Nerys told him, taking her cup back. She took a sip and passed it back over. "Mickey stayed, too—not that Cade liked it much."

"Of course he didn't, Mickey's Black." He made no attempt to mask the bitterness of his tone. He remembered when his stepfather died. He'd brought Lisa down from London with him for the funeral—he'd needed her moral support _so_ much that week. Cade had been a prick to her, just because of her skin colour. She'd put up with it for him, because he'd needed her…

"It's not just the obvious, Yan," Nerys' voice cut through his thoughts. "He's got a chip on his shoulder where you and yours are concerned," she said. "But I suppose it doesn't much help any that Mickey's not some nice Welsh boy."

"Like Cade," he was still angry.

Nerys gave him a look. It was full of question…concern.

"Don't mind me. It's been a long night." He drank down a big gulp of coffee.

The warmth of her smile surprised him; she took the now nearly empty cup away from him. "Then why don't you leave off this stuff and let that dashing Captain of yours tuck you up into bed for a kip? I'll help Deidre with the kids," she told him in a sincere tone as she got to her feet; Ianto stood too. "Having another woman around is just what she needs right now," Nerys went on, "and no offence, but I'd rather not call in any of your lot.

"What? Why?"

She slid her arm into his and steered him towards the front door. "I've met those women. As much as I'd like to set them loose on Cade right now, he's still our brother. It wouldn't be fair—they're frightening, Ianto. That Sara of yours would have his testicals for earrings quicker than he could blink. Not that he actually needs them."

"No arguments there," he agreed… and thought of introducing Cade to Janet still held a certain appeal, although he supposed his sister had a point about keeping things in the family, at least for the time being…

Ianto wasn't surprised to find Jack awake; he and Deidre came out of the kitchen when he and Nerys walked in the front door. It didn't look as if she'd slept any… Nerys took her in hand and guided her back to the kitchen after Jack took her coat… that surprised him. It surprised him even more when he hung it up in the closet without having to be told.

"All right, who are you and what have you done with my husband?" Ianto asked, when Jack took his coat from him as well.

The older man chuckled, "Why don't you come upstairs with me and find out," he all but purred.

Ianto smiled; despite Jack's tone, he knew by his expression that this time he was flirting for no other reason than to do it, because it was a part of who he was. He let Jack lead him by the hand upstairs and didn't object when he started undressing him. He objected even less when he handed over his favourite pyjama bottoms. They were the softest flannel… before tucking him into bed, Jack gathered him into his arms.

"How bad is it?" he asked him.

"She's in rough shape," he pressed a kiss to the younger man's forehead. "But I think I've got her talked out of going back to him."

"Thank you, Jack."

* * *

Although he was exhausted, once his younger siblings were awake, Kae found it impossible to sleep. He took a couple of the pills Dr Chase had given him for pain, forced himself to eat some of the pancakes his aunt Nerys had cooked—she was a good cook, really, it was just that his stomach was in knots and he didn't feel like eating. He only bothered…well, one because Dr Chase had said that he shouldn't take the pills on an empty stomach and two, because he didn't want to worry his mother. She already looked like she was dragging the weight of the world around on her back. Which was why he didn't ask any questions about what they were going to do next, where they were going to live or much of anything. Instead he ignored how much his arm hurt him and did what he could to help out with the rest of the kids, getting them to fold up the blankets and try to put Ianto and Jack's lounge back to some sort of order…. _I just wonder how long… _he pushed the thought aside. He knew Uncle Ianto wouldn't chuck them out. _But still, how long can we stay here?_ It wasn't that big a house…

"Here, why don't you let me give you a hand with that?"

Kae jumped; it was Jack. He had been so buried the dark clouds of his own thoughts, he hadn't heard the Captain come into the room. "I've got it," he lied. He was trying to get into his bag, to find something clean to put on. Somehow it was a lot harder to do one handed than he'd expected it would be.

Jack stepped back, allowing him to continue struggling.

"Thanks, though," Kae said, belatedly. "You know. For all this."

"It's just what family does, Kae. If there's anything you need…?"

The boy hesitated. But… it didn't seem like the worst imposition, not after last night anyway. "Do you think… I mean… later on… could I use your computer, just for a few minutes. I just need to look at my email…" he was too afraid to call Wynn, afraid of getting his tad on the phone, but if he could drop him an email, or maybe if he or Bekka had emailed him…

"Of course you can. My lap top is in the sitting room—but no surfing porn online," he added in a harsh tone.

Kae blinked a moment…then realized he was teasing and laughed—although it took a little effort. His father never joked around with him. "I suppose you'd have a hard time convincing Uncle Yan it wasn't you, huh?" he managed to retort. He wasn't used to adults _talking_ to him at all, really, or treating him like he was someone worth talking to. It felt nice.

In response to his comment back, Jack chuckled. It was an honest, warm, happy sound… Kae wasn't used to that out of adults, either. Most of his teachers acted like they hated their jobs, their students…there had been a few exceptions, but only a few. At home, in his house anyway, nobody smiled, but here… here everything was different. He liked it… he knew they couldn't actually stay here, but… _but maybe we could be like this too,_ he hoped…

By the time he'd gotten himself cleaned up a little, Jack had set up his laptop. There wasn't much privacy to be had, not with all of his siblings, with Jason and Seren… Remy… all of the adults… and on top of all of that, while he was in the shower Nanna Alice had shown up with Nerys' boyfriend. She fussed over his arm a bit until Jack rescued him, doing his best to herd the rest of the children out of the sitting room as well.

He smiled his gratitude and logged onto his account… his smile faded as soon as he opened the email from Bekka and read what she had to say…


	110. Breaking Branches pt 7

**A/N:**

I'd just like to give a great big HUGE thank you to everyone who has reviewed, fave/alert my work. Also a REALLY HUGE thank you to the generous folks who have fave/alert listed me as an author (well, ok, it is the best way to keep up with when I post, because I hop around some times from story to story, but still, it makes me feel really good, and I really, really appreciate that. I appreciate the number of people who have been touched by this one, in particular.)

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Ten:**

**Broken Branches (pt. 7)**

"_The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves.  
We live in denial of what we do, even what we think.  
We do this because we're afraid.  
We fear we will not find love,  
and when we find it we fear we'll lose it."_

Richard Bach

* * *

_**1 January, 2011**_

.

The image of Jack being pounced on by—and subsequently bodily lugging out—several small children faded quickly, even though Kae could still hear them laughing as he opened up Bekka's email. It wasn't just the kids laughing, though, it was Jack, too, and Uncle Ianto, he could hear his voice… some comment Mickey made. He couldn't quite hear the words over the laughing, but… but as soon as he read the first few sentences of Bekka's email, it didn't matter, all the laughing in the world wasn't enough to warm his insides back up.

.

_Call me as soon as you get this. Wynn's tad chucked him out. He won't say what happened just that he can't go back there. __**Ever**__. I'm worried sick…_

_._

The rest of it was a blur of words on the screen… Wynn… kicked out. The sinking feeling that it was somehow his fault, that Wynn's parents must have heard the shit Billy was saying… not that it was hard to tell about Wynn or anything, but the last couple of months, it was like the whole school suddenly knew… he wished more than anything that neither of them had gone to Bekka's the other night. If they hadn't…

"Kae?"

He looked up; he'd barely heard Ianto's voice. He had no idea that he'd said his name three times already, didn't realize that tears were trickling down his cheeks. All he felt was cold… scared. Helpless.

"Kae, what's the matter?" Ianto asked him again.

"I… It's nothing," he shook himself, but he couldn't shed his gut reaction of fear. Ianto's expression…he was frowning… the last thing Kae wanted was for his uncle to be angry at him. They didn't have anywhere else to go… _Wynn…_ he didn't have anywhere to go either. He barely felt the shudder that went through him. "Jack said it was ok," he explained quickly. "I was just checking my email. He said I could," he gulped down a mouth full of bile.

"Kae… it's you I'm worried about. What's the matter? Is it something someone sent you…?"

He swallowed hard again. "Really… it's nothing," he closed the laptop, not wanting him to see, even though he didn't know why.

Ianto sat down next to him… somehow it made him feel better. Kae wasn't expecting that. He looked up at him.

"I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong," his uncle's tone was wasm. Just like last night. Like this morning at the hospital.

Kae took a breath. Let it out. He reminded himself that the only reason they were safe, that they were there and not in some seedy hotel, was because he'd called Ianto last night and… _and he came to get us._ He came without asking questions or…or anything. He was just there. Jack was just there… _'it's what family does,' _his uncle's husband had said... but he didn't want to bother his uncle any more than he had already. His and Jack's whole house was in disarray and it was all his fault. He'd asked them for help… _and they came to get us…_

A peal of laughter rang out from the lounge. It was Jack… there was giggling… he couldn't tell for sure who… Kendra and Remy, maybe? Jason. Dillon. And... and… his… his mam? He couldn't remember the last time he'd heard her laugh… _really_ laugh.

He became aware of other voices in the house… Nanna Alice… Jack's Mam… they were in the kitchen, speaking in quiet tones… he couldn't hear the words, just their voices, a sweet Welsh accent alternating with Ella's harsher American accent. Him and his brothers and sisters, his mam, they weren't anything to Jack's mother, but she hadn't complained a bit about having her house turned upside down by them...

"Kae?" his uncle's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

"I… I need to call Bekka. Wynn's parents kicked him out," he heard himself saying.

"KaeKaeKae—!" Tarra ran headlong into the sitting room… she stopped short at the sight of him.

Kae swiped his hand across his cheeks—sure enough there was moisture. He forced a smile. "What is it, Little Bit?" he tried to sound cheery. He was pretty sure he didn't do a very good job of it.

Tarra was eight, but she was well known to be a bright and perceptive little girl. "What's the matter?" she asked softly.

"It's nothing."

Before she could contradict him, Jack came around the corner and swept her up into his arms, having assessed the situation, or at least the gist of it, as soon as he saw the look on Kae's face. A quick flip upside down had the eight year old laughing again as her pigtails brushed the floor at his stockinged feet, her brother's state of mind all but forgot when the Captain suggested they should sweep up the kitchen floor… "What d'you think?"

"I'm not a broom, Uncle Jack!"

"You look like one to me," he grinned down at her… glanced up at his partner.

Ianto flashed a thin smile, his gratitude obvious. Jack just winked and carried the laughing child back into the lounge, utterly ignoring the disparaging remarks his mother made in his direction—she was doing a terrible job of hiding her grin—Alice, too.

"Uncle Ianto," Kae began hesitantly…haltingly… once they were gone. "Are… I mean… me… Wynn… I… our… what's really normal?" he finally managed to form the question.

"What do you mean?"

"I meant… you and Jack… your family…you seem… happy." So _incredibly_ happy. Even that very first time he'd met Jack, when he'd been so desperate to hear his uncle say Jack wasn't _really_ his boyfriend, men didn't have boyfriends, not like _that_. It wasn't natural. It was… deviant. Wrong. _An abomination…_ he didn't want his uncle to be like that. It was like Nain said, if you love somebody, you want them to live a righteous life… to be _normal_.

But his parents were normal… righteous, at least according to everything Taid and Nain said. But they weren't happy. And Wynn's parents… they were even worse. Sure, his mother smiled a lot, but it was such a plastic smile, just like Nain's, like Mam's when she was out somewhere and seemed to think she had to smile to make other people happy. She was always worrying about what other people thought, how other people felt.

Ianto smiled then—it wasn't a plastic smile—and laid a hand gently on his knee. "We're not perfect, Kae."

"You look it to me."

"Kae…Jason is just like his father, he comes in the door and tosses his book bag in the middle of the lounge, right along with his shoes and I swear if I have to hang up either of their coats one more time…" only instead of scowling, his smile deepened. "But I love them," he said, needlessly.

"Even Jason?" he couldn't help sounding surprised. "I mean… he's not your son."

"Yes he is. In all the ways that count, he's mine and I love him with all my heart, just like I love his father. It was rough at first. It was hard for me and Jack's Mam. We still butt heads sometimes. But when you care about the people you're living with, you find ways to make it work. Don't get me wrong, I'm certain the last time we grounded him, Jason wasn't happy with either Jack or me," he cautioned.

"But he knows you both love him."

Ianto nodded. Then… "I… I'm sure your father loves you, Kae. He just… I don't know why he is the way he is, but I'm sure that no matter what he says, he loves you—your mam. He just… he doesn't know how to show it."

"I'm not sure he loves us, any of us," he said even though he thought…

But his uncle didn't get angry, he just nodded again. "That's fair. Why don't you use my mobile to call your friend?" he suggested, rather than pressing the subject. "It's on the charger in my room—on the table to left side of the bed. It should be a little bit quieter up there," he added, as another peal of laughter reverberated through the house. "Or at least as quiet as things are likely to get around here…" he rolled his eyes. But Kae could tell he didn't really mind.

"Thank you. I… I won't take too long…"

"Take all the time you need," Ianto told him.

* * *

Kae had never been in his uncle's bedroom before; it was neat, just like the rest of the house. The walls were painted a cheerful light green. The duvet had green and mauve swirls on it. There were photos on the bedside tables… Jason… Seren… Remy… a picture of Ianto and Jack from their wedding… they looked so incredibly happy together. Kae would have given anything to be that happy, just for one minute… he thought about Wynn again… holding him… him waking up, saying he was too drunk to remember… he swallowed hard.

He remembered the foul mood his father had been in the whole week leading up to Ianto and Jack's wedding…not that Tad would call it that. He kept insisting that it was 'just' a civil union, that it didn't count for anything. He kept saying how they shouldn't subject his children to aberrant behaviour, how they shouldn't go filling their heads with the notion that it was all right for two men to lie together like a man and a woman… Mam hadn't seemed pleased by any of it, either, but Nanna Alice wanted them to be there for Ianto and she was pretty good at getting her way. If it weren't for her, Kendra would never have been allowed to be a flower girl.

Kae remembered how during the reception, his Mam commented—when Tad wasn't around to hear her—how good Ianto and Jack looked together, how happy they seemed, how maybe… she'd never finished that sentence.

He set the picture back down carefully in its place. He hadn't been happy that day. He'd been miserable. Confused. Scared because nothing was making any sense to him any more, especially when he realized that the lady who married Ianto and Jack was a real minister and she clearly didn't have any problem with what they were doing…

He swallowed back another mouth full of bile and reached for Ianto's mobile. Not wanting to mess up the neatly made bed, he sat down on the floor, his back propped up against it, his knees against his chest and punched in Bekka's number.

She didn't answer.

When he finally got her voice mail, he was shaking too hard to leave a message… he hung up, counted to ten and called back, hoping that maybe she just hadn't heard it or something.

This time she picked up in two rings, sounding very hesitant when she said 'hello.'

"Bekka, it's Kae," he told her.

"Oh God… the only thing that came up on the ID was 'Jones' and I thought… I knew it wasn't your number, but…" it sounded like she was shaking too. "Where are you, what happened, are you all right?' her words tumbled out in a rush. "I've been worried out of my head, Kae—"

"I'm fine, what about Wynn?" he was afraid of the answer… if he'd really run away to London, how would he find him? "Please tell me he's ok." _Tell me he's still here…_

There was a very, very long pause on the other end.

"Bekka?"

More silence.

"Bekka?"

"He's here. He didn't want me to tell you," she added quickly, sounding guilty, giving Kae the distinct impression that Wynn was standing right there, glowering at her for blabbing. "Kae, what happened between you two the other night?" she asked him.

He heard something in the background…Wynn's voice… he sounded… angry… really, really angry, when he said that _nothing_ had happened. _"Why do you keep making such a damned bloody big deal out of fucking __**nothing**__!" _his voice boomed over the line from the background.

"Wynn—" Bekka addressed him instead of Kae. "Please—don't be like this—I just want to help…_Wynn!"_

Kae swallowed hard… he heard… it sounded like a door slamming shut behind her somewhere. He was sure he was going to throw up.

"Kae, what happened?" she repeated, sounding about the same.

"I… nothing," his tone sounded hollow, even to himself. "It's just like he said," he told her. He wasn't even convincing enough to fool himself, but if 'noting' was what Wynn really wanted her to believe… he didn't know why it suddenly hurt so much worse to think of that night as 'nothing', because really, what could be worse than Wynn getting kicked out of his house?

He cleared his throat, but the lump wouldn't go down. "I… he… that is, we… we just… he fell asleep, that's all. I think we ended up sharing your duvet. You house is bloody cold, you know," he tried to smile but failed miserably. "He was falling down drunk, remember? So was I," he added hastily, even though it wasn't true. He'd been tipsy, but he hadn't been drunk.

"Don't you even remember…?" it didn't sound like she believed him.

"I don't remember anything after that first shot of tequila," he lied some more.

"So why did you to bail out of here so early?" she wanted to know.

He shrugged; but she couldn't see a shrug. "I… I just… we both had stuff to do," he didn't know he was telling her the exact same lie Wynn had.

"Then what happened?"

"Billy MacCullen happened."

"Oh God. Kae, there's something you need to know…"

"_Don't you dare!" _Wynn's voice again… it sounded like he was on the other side of a the door… maybe she was in her parents' room, on their phone, Kae thought… but obviously Wynn had been listening into the conversation, even after he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

There was scuffling on Bekka's end… then… Wynn's voice came through the receiver. "Just leave it, Kae. You've done enough, ok? Just…just sod off and leave it alone!"

"Wynn—I…" but something in the silence told him Wynn wasn't there any more. The dial tone that followed confirmed it.


	111. Breaking Branches pt 8

**Chapter One Hundred & Eleven:**

**Broken Branches (pt. 8)**

"_Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.__"_

Author Unknown.

"_If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you.  
You may have a fresh start any moment you choose,  
for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."_

Mary Pickford

* * *

_**1 January, 2011**_

.

Kae sat in silence, his whole body throbbing with hurt. It was his fault. It was _all_ his fault. Wynn hated him… _why wouldn't he? _Wynn had been chucked out because he'd punched Billy MacCullen, because… _because I kissed him…_ it had been a stupid dare… _but I wanted to do it again… _only now… he couldn't think straight.

He knew he should be worried about himself… his mother. His brothers and sisters and what was going to happen to them, but… but for a couple of hours lying there under Bekka's duvet holding his best friend in his arms, _everything_ had felt so right. It hadn't mattered that it didn't make any sense, that it hadn't even been a real kiss, just part of some stupid game, that they'd both been a little drunk, or even that he'd never, ever thought about Wynn like that before (or at least he didn't think he had… maybe he had, he wasn't sure any more). All that had mattered, thought, was that it had felt _so_ good for that little sliver of time, just laying there… pretending…wondering… hoping that maybe… maybe it wasn't just a stupid game that maybe Wynn… he'd had a physical reaction, so maybe… maybe it meant…

Only now Kae he wished more than anything that it had _**never **_happened. It might have been the best few hours of his life, but it hadn't happened, Wynn wouldn't hate him. Wynn would still have a home, because as stupid and fucked up and dysfunctional as his parents were, living with them was still better than living on the streets, it had to be.

Kae jumped when Ianto's phone rang in his hand. He thought about running it down to his uncle, he knew he should, but he wasn't ready to face anyone… then he noticed the caller ID. It was Bekka.

"Hello?" his voice was strained. He wanted to ask if Wynn was still there or if… not that it mattered, he knew he hated him, he'd all but said it, hadn't he? He'd said he'd done enough, that he should just… just sod off. Just leave it alone. Leave him alone. _Just please let him be ok. Even if he never talks to me again, just… just please let him find some place safe to go, don't let him end up on the streets… _he only barely realized he was praying. "Bekka?" he asked when she didn't answer him right away. For half a hopeful second he wondered if it was Wynn calling him back… his heart began to pound in his ears. He would do anything to hear his voice…

But it wasn't him. "He's still here, Kae," said Bekka. His heart fell to the soles of his feet…but at least he was still there. And Bekka was still talking: "He just... he's a mess, Kae. I know you are too. I'm sorry. I know I totally screwed things up between you two…"

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"I dared him to kiss you. And I know you remember it, Kae Michael Jones, so don't you dare try to lie to me again. Wynn remembers it too—he keeps saying he doesn't, but I know he does."

Kae swallowed hard. If he really did remember it… "Why…?" he started to ask. But maybe it was that Wynn didn't _want _to remember.

"Look, I promised him I wouldn't tell you about the thing with Billy…"

"What thing with Billy?"

She hesitated. Then, "He'll have to tell you. I promised, Kae. I'm sorry. Just please… you have to get over here."

"Bekka, I can't," he hadn't thought it was possible to feel any more helpless. "I'm in Cardiff."

"There's got to be a bus or…or _something_…"

"I… I don't know. I… I guess I could try, I just…"

"Damn it Kae! Don't mess around with me. Get your ass out here!" And she hung up on him, too.

Kae sat for several long moments not knowing… not knowing anything. He remembered what Ianto had said about being a teenager, not knowing which way was up… he was pretty sure he knew exactly what he meant.

Finally he picked himself up off the floor. He walked across the hall to the bathroom and washed his face… this time he heard the approaching footfalls on the steps… in the hall. It wasn't Uncle Ianto or Jack. He tried to bury his face in the towel, one handed, but he was pretty sure his mother saw his tear-blotched cheeks, his red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes. She tugged the towel away gently. "Mam, I—"

"Shhh… shhh, shhh, shhh Kae, whatever it is…" she looked near tears herself as she brushed his bangs out of his face. "Oh, Kae… my baby…" she ran her fingers over his bruised lip. That had happened in the fight with Billy. "Just… tell me… tell me that… whatever it is…"

"Mam, please," he begged; he didn't want to lie to her, but how could he tell her about his conversation with Bekka? How could he tell her about Wynn…pain shot through his insides, stabbing at his gut. It wasn't the kind of pain he could take a pill to dull. It was cold and dark and…and nothing would ever make it go away.

"Kae… just… just tell me I didn't do this to you."

"What?" he blinked.

"I know… I've made so many mistakes with your tad, more than I can count. But just tell me _this_ isn't my fault, too. Tell me… tell me it's not because I was too easy on you… or… or too soft…" she wiped her cheeks but the tears fell anyway. Her gaze flickered to his cast. "That's my fault," she said in soft tone. "I know it is, but… I'm sorry, Kae, just… I need to know if… the rest of it… if I did something _wrong_…"

"_This_ isn't your fault," he held up his injured arm as much as he could—which wasn't much. "Tad did this. Not you." He told her.

She shook her head, "I let him. And maybe… I know, Kae. I know what that fight was about. I just… if it was something I did to you… something I _didn't _do… I'm sorry, Kae," she cried, looking at him as if searching for something, but he didn't know what.

"It isn't your fault," he told her. "You didn't do anything wrong, I promise," he said; fresh tears came out of nowhere. He hadn't honestly thought there were any left in him. "It's just… just the way things turned out, I guess." That was what Uncle Ianto had said, that no one could turn anyone gay or straight or bisexual, that a person was just born that way. "I just… I am the way that I am. It's nobody's fault."

His mother looked at him through her own red rimmed, bloodshot eyes. "And what are you?" she wanted to know. Her tone was accusatory. Heartbroken. Heart_**breaking. **_

He swallowed back hard. "I don't know. I swear… I _don't _know. I just… I feel… I'm all mixed up inside. I've never felt like this before, not about _anyone_. But Wynn…" he didn't know what to say or how to tell her how he felt, all the good and the bad were too jumbled up around each other for him to be able to sort it all out.

"Did he…did Wynn do…something…to you?" she stammered.

He shook his head quickly. "As it is, I'm not sure he's ever going to talk to me again," he admitted. The look of relief on her face turned to one of concern… "I don't want to talk about it, Mam. _Please_…"

"All right." She wiped the moister from her cheeks and pulled him towards the bathtub, sitting him on the edge of it, sitting herself down next to him. She took his hands into hers. "But… there is something… there's something I need to say to you."

Kae swallowed back another huge lump in his throat. It didn't go down. He wasn't sure he could take one more thing.

"I asked your Nanna Alice once about… about Ianto. Jack. I wanted to know how… how she could celebrate their union, because she had to know how wrong it was." She only barely seemed able to look at him. "Do you want to know what she said to me?" she asked.

He didn't want to know. He was too afraid of the answer, afraid of her rejection, even though he didn't know himself what he really was, what he wanted, if maybe what he felt, or what he thought he felt, for Wynn was a one time thing… maybe he didn't even feel the way he thought he did, maybe it was just… just having been drunk… or… or something… But when he thought about holding him, about that kiss… when he thought about the way Wynn had acted when they woke up, what he'd said to him today, it hurt. It all hurt so much, but he didn't know how to fix it. It wasn't like he could just walk over to Bekka's…

His mother didn't look like she was doing any better than he was. She cleared her throat and wiped her face again. "Your Nanna told me that she would rather… she would rather gain a son in law than lose a son, Kae. She told me… she said it wasn't easy at first because Jack… well, he's certainly one of a kind," she almost smiled for real. "But she said she was glad Ianto had him—glad she did, too." She took a ragged breath and let it out again. "I'm glad you called your Uncle Ianto last night, cariad. I—I don't know where we'd be now if him and Jack hadn't come out to get us. And I am so sorry I… I let you all down so many times—" she broke down crying again.

Kae hooked his good arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close; he was more than a little relieved, even after what she'd just said, that she didn't pull away. "You never let us down," he told her.

"Yes, yes I did," she insisted, holding him tight a long, long moment. When she pulled away, it was only so she could look him in the eye. "What I want you to know is that no matter what, I don't ever want to lose a son, Kae. Or a daughter. No matter what that means. I'll always love you, no matter who you love, just as long as… as long as they're good to you. Please… don't repeat my mistakes."

"You haven't made that many mistakes, Mam."

She smiled up at him; it only seemed a partly forced effort. "I love you so much, Kae. I love all of you. I want to… I don't know how…but I want to fix things. Not with your father…I… I tried so hard for so long…but… I don't think I can try any more. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We'll get through this." He sounded more convinced of that than he felt; his mother seemed to appreciate the effort. He held her a few more minutes… finally she said they should get back down and help sort out dinner. All things considered, it seemed the least they could do, even if Jack had the kitchen well in hand (much to Uncle Ianto's despair) by the time they got downstairs.

* * *

Kae waited until after dinner to pull his uncle aside and talk to him. Nerys and Mickey had gone home before the meal (Mickey muttering disparaging remarks about his boss's cooking, Jack making idle threats back at him—Jack was nothing like any boss Kae had ever seen). Nanna had gone too (although tactfully had made no remarks about her son in law's culinary skills—which were actually pretty good, Kae thought, although Uncle Yan was right, Jack did leave a disaster area in his wake).

Remy was staying over with the rest of the kids. Ella, who had always frightened Kae a little, seemed to be treating the whole thing like one big sleep over. He was sure she was doing it just for the little kids. For that, however, he was grateful. He was pretty sure his mam was too. She looked exhausted, so much so that no one let her help with the clean up. Ella ordered her to go have a lie-down upstairs—she could use Jason's room, he would be sleeping in the lounge—and not to dare move except to use the loo until morning.

Kae waited until the clean up was done before asking his uncle for a word in private. Since privacy was a scarce commodity at the moment, Ianto suggested taking the trash out as an excuse to get away for a few minutes, even though he ended up doing most of the work. Kae hated more than anything to bother him with one more problem, but he didn't know what else to do or how to get out to Bekka's. Even if there was a bus, it wasn't like he had any money. "I don't know what she expects me to do," he said, after he'd finished telling him what had happened.

"I guess the only thing to do is to drive out there," said Ianto.

"You… I mean… you've already done so much—" he was gobsmacked.

"I don't mind, Kae."

"But… Tad…"

"I stopped being afraid of your father a long time ago."

He paused a moment. That made more sense now. "Yeah, I... I guess… you know… aliens and all that…" stuff like those things that had pulled the earth out of orbit or those other aliens, from a couple years ago… they had to make his father look pretty insignificant.

Ianto just smiled that soft, kind hearted smile of his. "It does tend to put things into perspective," he agreed. "Why don't you call you friend back and tell her we can be there first thing in the morning…unless it won't keep…?"

He shook his head. It was already late enough to be dark out. Besides, maybe in the morning his father would be at work and less likely to drive by Bekka's house looking for him...


	112. Breaking Branches pt 9

**A/N:**

Yay, nine chapters in and it's the next day! LOL. Sorry, sometimes even I think I take too long getting through stuff. Hopefully it's been worth it. Thank you so much, everyone for sticking with this. I've had to deal with a number of unhappy things the last week or so... only a little has affected us directly, personally, but going to a funeral is never a good way to spend a day. So more than ever, I have really appreciated the kind words, both to me personally and about my work.

On a brighter note, my art is hung, and as much as I was pleased with my efforts before, there is something about getting them matted and hanging up with other people's art that makes me feel pretty accomplished ;-) This is the first time I've displayed anything outside my own living room in almost 10 years.

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Twelve:**

**Broken Branches (pt. 9)**

_"The worst thing one can do is not to try,  
to be aware of what one wants and not give into it,  
to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized  
- and never knowing"_

David Viscott

* * *

_**2 January, 2011**_

.

Jack wasn't pleased about sending Ianto and Kae off 'alone' to see the teen's friend. He was even less pleased about his mother telling him to go into work and get out from underneath her feet already, she could handle Ianto's brother (_if_ he showed up on their doorstep) just fine, thank you very much. Not that she was expecting it. Neither was Jack. He was more concerned about the possibility of Ianto running into his brother, because from the sounds of things, Kae's friend didn't live all that far from Cade's… however there were a lot thins on the list of things over which the immortal man had no control, and amongst them his husband and mother made the top two slots nearly every time.

"Just promise me you'll keep your phone on," Jack asked him, as he encircled his Welshman's waist with his arms. They were standing in the bedroom; both were dressed and ready to start their respective days.

"I already told you I would keep it on," Ianto told him. "Six times, in fact."

Which was how many times Jack realized he'd asked the same thing in the last hour. "I…"

"You're the one who should be careful, Cariad. All things considered, Christmas was entirely too quiet. You could end up with Weevils coming out your ears by lunchtime," he teased.

"Tell you what, you take the Weevils and leave Cade to me…" his partner's expression silenced him before could suggest that better still, he would let the Weevils have Cade and call it a good day all around. "Call me when you get there?" he said instead.

Ianto pressed a soft, warm kiss to his lips. "And before we leave," he promised.

Reluctantly, he let him go, because on that list of things over which he had no control, his husband was always at the very top… he walked with Ianto down the stair. He walked behind him because he was wearing new jeans and the way they clung to his partner's body sent Jack's mind to very bad (or perhaps very good) places...

Ianto turned around and smirked; clearly he was well aware of where the other's mind had gone. "I should be home this afternoon," his tone held more than just the promise of being home for supper.

"Maybe you could come by the Hub and help me with some paperwork?" Jack asked, sounding almost convincingly innocent.

"Is that what we're calling it these days?"

Jack chuckled and gave him a kiss good-bye. When Ianto walked out the front door, it wasn't his arse his husband was watching, it was all of him…

* * *

Kae was waiting for his uncle out by the red SUV, feeling pensive. Ianto hadn't asked about his second conversation with Bekka last night; he didn't reckon he'd had to ask. Kae's expression when he got off the phone probably told him everything he needed to know. Even his mam hadn't asked; she hadn't had much to say about his going to see Wynn today, either. That worried him more than anything.

_She hugged me,_ he reminded himself. Before he left the house, she hugged him and told him to take care and said again that she loved him no matter what. But he could see it in her eyes; she might love him no matter what but she still wished… he wished he was normal too. Hell, he wished he knew what _was _normal, because from his point of view, the whole world was mixed up.

"Ready?" Ianto asked him.

Kae nodded and got into the SUV. He hadn't slept at all last night, even though they'd put him on the sofa. Between trying to sort himself out and the throbbing pain in his arm… the rest of him wasn't feeling so hot, either. Even if nothing else was broken, he'd been pounded on pretty good by Billy and his stupid friends.

"Uncle Yan, can… can I ask you a question?" he said after a bit—after working up the courage. They'd just pulled onto the highway.

"You can ask anything you want."

"It's not about… I mean… it's about your job, not… you know. Stuff."

"All right," he said, in a more cautious tone. "You can ask, but I can't promise you that I'll be able to answer."

Kae nodded; he had the feeling Ianto had probably already said way too much about it already. "I just… how long has Torchwood been around?"

Ianto's brows furrowed; it wasn't a frown so much as an inquisitive sort of look. "Why do you ask?" he wanted to know.

"I was just wondering… how long do you think it'll be around… you know…" he shrugged.

"Torchwood will be around long as it's is needed."

"So it's not just you guys, then? I mean… you know…it didn't start with…with Jack…?" he didn't know why he felt like Jack was the heart and soul of whatever it was they did… maybe it was just that seemed to be Ianto's heart and soul…

His uncle smiled at him. "Torchwood was founded by Queen Victoria in 1879. So no, it's not just us. Why the interest?"

"I was just wondering… I mean… what does it take to get into Torchwood?"

Ianto gave him a quick glance before suggesting that perhaps Kae should worry about _that_ after University.

"You never went to Uni," Kae protested. His tad hadn't gone either, but at the moment, he didn't care about him. Of all the things he was unsure about, the one thing he knew with absolute certainty was how much he hated his father. He cradled his cast in his lap, shifting into a more comfortable position. It hurt to breathe. Some of that was because of Billy, but…

"No," Ianto was saying, still on the subject of Torchwood. University. "But I wish I had gone."

"I don't think… I mean… my grades suck."

He chuckled softly. "I'm sure there's hope for you."

Kae didn't answer.

"You can try the radio if you like," his uncle said, rather than pushing the issue. "And should be some CD's in the console…although I think Jack was riffling through there the other day. There's no telling what you'll find."

He smiled. He wasn't used to adults letting him pick the music, even if it was from their stash. Although after he started going through it, he decided not to ask which of them Abba's greatest hits belonged to. Kae passed that over in favour of the new Snow Patrol CD and looked up at his uncle.

He seemed to approve of his choice. Maybe that meant Abba was Jack's… somehow he could see it. Neither of them exactly acted gay… neither of them was, Kae knew that much… but somehow Jack seemed more the type who would get into disco, even though he was obviously not old enough to have experienced it first hand or anything.

He sat back and closed his eyes a while, listening to the music. It was the first time in two days he felt a little bit of the tension finally start to drain away… just as long as he didn't think too hard about seeing Wynn, because having him hate him over the phone was one thing, it was almost the tiniest bit bearable, but if hated him in person would kill him. Only Bekka had sworn, in their second—or third conversation, he supposed it really was, when he'd called her back to say he would be over in the morning. She'd sworn that Wynn didn't hate him, that as soon as he hung up on him, he ran to her bedroom and slammed the door and refused to come back out again. Kae wasn't so sure that didn't mean he didn't hate him…

"We're almost there," Ianto's voice cut through his thoughts.

"We can't be…" it took over an hour…

"You fell asleep," his uncle explained.

"Sorry." He didn't feel like he'd slept, but he supposed did feel a little less like shit. He shifted in his seat. He hurt.

"No worries." Ianto assured him; he pulled into Bekka's drive.

"How did you…?" Kae was positive he'd never given him her address.

"It wasn't difficult to find."

"Torchwood?"

Ianto chuckled. "I got her last name from my phone. You said she lived near you, so I all I had to do was look her up. It's not as if there are very many Snethkamps in the area."

Kae couldn't help but feel like an idiot. If Ianto thought so, though, he didn't comment. He just cut the engine and slid out of the vehicle.

Kae sat for a second more before unbuckling his seatbelt. Moving hurt like Hell. But that wasn't why he hesitated. He wasn't ready to face Wynn. Only he had to. So he slid out of the hybrid and glanced nervously up the street because facing Wynn wasn't the only thing he was scared of (even if it _was _the thing he was the most afraid of). There was no sign of his tad's truck anywhere.

"It'll be all right, Kae, I promise," Ianto told him.

He nodded. He knew he wasn't promising that it would go all right with Wynn, just that he didn't have to worry about his father. He tried again to picture his uncle fighting aliens. He could see Jack as a fighter. Mickey, too (because he was sure _he_ didn't work in a tourist office, either). But Ianto? He couldn't see it, no matter how hard he tried. He could see his uncle as their bookkeeper or something, maybe some kind of analyst, but… fighting? Even if he'd decked his tad that one time, he couldn't imagine it. He followed Ianto up the walk.

Before they got to the porch, the front door opened up and Bekka came flying out. She passed over Ianto entirely and threw her arms around Kae's neck and held on tight, at least until she realized how much she was hurting him, squeezing him like that. Even then, she didn't let go, she just eased up a little. "Bloody Hell, Kae! What happened?" her gaze raked over his face…settled his arm. "You didn't say anything about a bloody cast!' she glanced in Ianto's direction, giving over an embarrassed looking grimace for swearing. "Sorry. I'm Bekka Snethkamp," she held out her hand.

"Ianto Jones-Harkness," he introduced himself with a warm smile.

She shot a questioning look at Kae, but it was Ianto who answered:

"Hyphenating seemed like a good idea when I got married. Now it just makes introductions that much longer."

"And your…partner?" she queried, still giving Kae a sidelong look.

His uncle's smile became a smirk. "If you ever meet him, you'll probably understand why the great Captain Jack Harkness would never mess with perfection—even if it's just his own name."

"Sounds like he's full of himself."

He chuckled just a little. "I make allowances."

She regarded him a moment more before beckoning them both into the house. "My parents are still gone. 'Til the end of the week," she said over her shoulder.

But Kae hesitated on the porch… glanced up the empty road. Looked back at his friend. "Is… is Wynn…?" was he even still there?

She opened her mouth to answer, but then Kae saw him, lingering just inside the door. Or maybe he'd only just come to the door, it was hard to tell. It was even harder to guess what he was thinking. He was just… _looking_ at him. Him and Ianto. He kept his arms wrapped around his body, like he was trying to hold himself apart from the rest of the world… _from me…_ Kae thought, miserably. They just stared at each other a moment…then Bekka went in and he had no choice but to follow her.

Wynn backed out of the way. Way out of the way, like he was trying to melt into the shadows. Like he wanted to be invisible.

Bekka's house was bigger than Kae's—which was kinda funny, he thought, considering it was just her, her sister and their parents. It was nicer than his too, which probably wasn't funny because it was just the four of them and both of Bekka's parents worked… only suddenly he realized he was thinking about his tad's house, a place he would probably—hopefully—never see again. But… that hurt, too because as much as he'd hated it, it had been his home. He didn't have a home any more. He didn't know…

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at his Uncle; he gave over a tight lipped smile. Kae returned it and looked at Wynn again. The growing silence was uncomfortable… awkward. It was something he'd never experienced with Wynn before, even in the very worst of moments.

He tried to force a smile; it wasn't returned. Instead, hazel eyes just kept peering out at him through long, dark bangs and he felt his heart sink further into the floor when he realized that there were a few bruises on Wynn's face, too… Kae knew he hadn't gotten them from Billy and his friends. It didn't surprise him any. Wynn's father hit him a lot. Spare the rod and spoil the child and all that.

"Why don't you two use my room to talk?" Bekka suggested, sounding a whole lot more timid than she had a few minutes ago.

"There's nothing to say," Wynn answered—he was still staring at Kae. His tone was heartbreakingly cold.

"Well. I'll put the kettle on, anyway," Bekka answered him; an angry tone had crept into her voice.

Wynn's glance flickered in her direction, but he didn't say anything, he just hugged his arms tighter around himself. Kae didn't say anything either; he didn't know what to say.

Ianto offered his assistance in the kitchen. Bekka smiled her gratitude and led the way.

Several long, silent, horrible heartbeats passed before Kae found the courage to speak. "Wynn…"

The other cut him off: "Why?" he demanded angrily. "Why did you have to go stick your nose in?"

He opened his mouth and then shut it again. He hadn't expected a 'thank you', even though he knew what Billy would have done to Wynn if he'd let him, but…

"Why?" he asked again.

"I didn't like what Billy was saying," he finally answered him truthfully.

"So why didn't you just walk the fuck away so you didn't have to hear it?"

"Since when is it ok with you for some stupid ass to call you names?" he wanted to know. Wynn always had a sharp comeback when someone like Billy started giving him shit.

"You don't know anything about Billy…" he hesitated, but then, "you don't know what happened. It's none of your business, either," he added.

"Wynn…" he took a step towards him, ignoring how much he ached inside. He would give anything to be able to go back to that moment when Wynn kissed him because maybe if he'd kissed him back…_ really_ kissed him back… Wynn moved further away from him. "You're supposed to be my best friend!" Kae reminded him.

"And look what that got you!" he answered back, nodding towards his cast. "I thought… Jesus, Kae, I thought he was going to fucking kill you." The mask of anger cracked, just a little, revealing hurt… frustration. Helplessness. They both knew he wasn't talking about Billy. Kae could handle him. "What happened?" he asked.

Kae shrugged. "He twisted my arm when he dragged me back to the house. The doc called it a spiral fracture. I'll know in another couple of days if I need surgery or if it's going to be all right to heal up on its own. Nothing else… I got a couple stitches and stuff, but nothing else was really bad, not like this."

Wynn just stared at him…at his bruised face… his lip.

"That was all Billy and his friends," he told him. "Tad…" he shrugged. "It doesn't matter. We left him. Mam packed us all up and we left him."

"Oh God. Kae," Wynn sagged back against the arm of the sofa. "I… God. You have no idea how fucking scared I was for you when he dragged you off like that yesterday. You're really… she's never going back to him?"

He shook his head. Wynn suddenly looked so happy… Kae swallowed. How could he be happy, when… "Bekka said…she told me you got kicked out…"

"It doesn't matter about me. I'm just glad… I'm so glad you're finally out of there."

"But…what about you?"

He flashed a smile—it was clearly a forced effort. "Are you kidding? This is the best thing that ever could have happened to me. London here I come," he joked, even though tears were starting to well up behind his eyes.

"How will you get there?"

"Bekka's got some cash she said she can loan me, you know, just 'til I can find a job and stuff. I'm going to be ok. And… and maybe… you know… London isn't that far… you could come visit. If you wanted…?" He sounded hopeful. Afraid to hope.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course I'll come visit."

Wynn brightened (although it looked forced, too) and started towards the kitchen. "Come on—we have to celebrate—" he almost sounded like his old self again.

"Wynn, wait," he reached for him; the touch of his fingertips on the other's arm stopped him in his tracks, brought the scared look back to Wynn's face; it made the knots in his own stomach tighten back up as well. "We still need to talk about the other day," said Kae.

"Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you, it was pretty lame, ok? I was… I was really messed up yesterday. But it doesn't matter, yeah? You're ok. That's all—"

"That isn't what we need to talk about."

"What else is there? I was a git. I apologize…"

"Wynn. Bekka's party. That stuff that happened…"

He stiffened. "I was pissed. So were you," his words came out clipped. "I don't remember what really happened."

"I do."

"It was just a stupid game, ok? Why can't everybody just drop it? We… we're mates… right?" he asked hesitantly. Hopefully.

"Best mates," Kae confirmed.

"So let's just forget about it. It was stupid. We've got _London _to think about…" he flashed another clearly feigned smile.

"I don't _want_ to forget it," Kae told him, not realizing that the other didn't understand what he was trying so desperately to say. "I don't know how to—"

"I'm sorry, ok! I don't know why Bekka… I don't even know why the fuck I chose dare, ok? It was stupid. _**I**_ was stupid. I'm sorry. How many times do I have to say it? I'm sorry!" he repeated and turned on his heel walking away towards Bekka's room as quickly as he could.

Kae followed. "Can we just talk?" he pleaded.

Wynn turned; there was moisture trickling down his cheeks. "There's nothing to talk about. I keep apologizing, but you… you say we're friends one minute and the next you won't just let it go…" He wiped away the tears angrily. "Why can't you just… just drop it!"

"I just want to know—"

Wynn cut him off: "I like you, ok? That's what you wanted me to say, right?" he sounded angry. "I've liked you for so long and I'm sorry, Kae! How many times do I have to say 'sorry' before—?"

Kae leant in fast, before he lost his nerve, and pressed his lips to the other's mouth, silencing him. Butterflies danced in his stomach when he felt Wynn kissing him back—it only took him a second to respond, but it felt like an eternity. Kae let his mouth fall open, just a little, testing… Wynn reciprocated, slid his tongue past his lips…it was over way too soon. "I don't want you to go to London, Wynn," he told him softly when he could speak again. Breathe. His knees felt like they'd turned to jelly.

"I…" Wynn didn't seem to be able to speak, he just looked at him, stunned. "There's no where else for me to go," he said at last.

"There has to be. Please. You can stay here until Bekka's folks get back, can't you?"

Dumbly, he nodded.

"Just give me that long to figure something out, ok?"

"I…"

"_Please_."

"Yeah, yeah ok. But… Kae…that… I… you…?" he was shaking. "You always said… you swore…you're _straight_. You said… you told me…!"

"I know."

Wynn just stared at him, frozen. "Then why?" he finally managed.

"I wanted to kiss you again. To kiss you for real this time. I… I wanted to know… what it would be like."

He swallowed hard. "What do you want now?"

"I don't know."

"You've gotta do better than that," he pleaded.

"I never want us to not be friends, Wynn."

"Then why kiss me!"

"Can't friends be more than friends?"

He was still shaking. "I… I don't know." It looked like he had a thousand conflicting thoughts going on inside his head. His heart.

"We could try. See what happens… Couldn't we?"

He looked away. Closed his eyes.

"Wynn…?" had he just made everything worse? "You… you said you liked me…"

"I don't want to be your 'gay experiment', Kae. I'm not going to be anybody's secret boyfriend," his voice was thick with hurt. "I'd rather just be friends and watch you go off and date some stupid girl like Kellie Malone than to…to…" he shook his head, like he didn't know himself how to finish that sentence.  
"I'll always be there to pick up the pieces, Kae. I don't know if I can do that if… if we…" he shrugged.

It made Kae wonder… the stuff Bekka had almost said about Billy… but Billy was the biggest damned homophobe he knew… _then again, the biggest ones usually are that way because they're afraid of themselves._ He wondered what that said about his tad…probably nothing, he realized. He was a jerk all the way around. He hated everybody…_maybe even himself. _

Wynn was still wasn't looking at him.

"I don't want to be anybody's secret anything either," Kae told him honestly. He reached out, laid his hand on Wynn's arm… it was like electricity shooting through him… "I never looked at guys before, not ever," he admitted. "Except, you know, you and those stupid magazines," he smiled a nervous little smile, hoping…

Wynn managed to smile, too. "Guess I'm a bad influence or something," he teased. He still sounded hurt. Scared.

"Mabye a good one," Kae slid his hand down his arm and curled his fingers around his friend's hand. He took a breath. Let it out. Forced himself to keep talking, because if he didn't… "When I woke up next to you something… changed. I don't know why or what it means, I just know it did." He twined his fingers into Wynn's and held on tight. "I'm not afraid to admit it. Not to anybody," he promised.

The other ran his fingers over the top of his hand very, very lightly, a look of disbelief playing across face, like he couldn't believe this was really happening… like he was afraid… he'd liked Kae for so long… Finally, he looked up at him. Hopefulness had replaced the pained look in his eyes. "You really are my very best friend," he said. "I don't want to do anything to mess that up."

"Me either. But… I… I like you too—"

A sudden, loud pounding at the front door made them both jump.

"Ianto!" Cade's voice bellowed through the door, sending cold chills up and down Kae's spine. "I know you're in there you little faggot!" he roared. "Come out here and face me like a man, you little…" the rest of it was lost as he hammered away at the door with his fist again.

Ianto was in the lounge then. "Are you all right?" He asked when he saw the Kae and Wynn in the hall. Bekka was just behind him.

The boys both nodded. They were still holding hands.

There was more pounding at the door, more swearing… accusations. It sounded like he was going to splinter the wood…

Ianto looked at the teenagers. "You three get to another room—a back room," he told them.

"You're not seriously going to…" Bekka shot him a wide eyed look, clearly not believing he was actually going to answer Cade's summons.

"_**Now**_, " he ordered, giving his nephew a sharp look.

Kae nodded and took the lead, heading to Bekka's parent's room since it was the furthest from the front door.

Ianto went out the back and around. The last thing he wanted was to give Cade the opportunity to push his way into the house; he made sure the back door was locked behind him.

"Cade!" he hollered as he rounded the corner of the house, drawing his attention away from the door.

"You little…" he launched himself at him.

The younger man sidestepped him.

"Are they here?" Cade demanded; it didn't look as if he'd slept in at least a day. "I've been everywhere else…" he looked up at the house again.

"You stink like the inside of a pub!" Ianto snapped at him; it was a good distraction, he was staring at him now and not trying to figure out how to get inside—it was also true. His brother reeked of beer and whisky. "It's not even ten o'clock in the morning, Cade. Go home."

"Like Hell I will!" his swing was wild.

"Go home!" Ianto repeated as he sidestepped again. "Damn it, Cade, I don't want to hurt you!" he said when his brother swung at him a third time.

"You…little Nancy-boy, hurt me? That's a laugh!" Cade lunged at him, head on.

Ianto's fist connected solidly with his face…blood gushed… the elder Jones stumbled back, holding his nose. "Bloody fucking…" he gaped, pulling his hands away just long enough to look at the blood before clutching his face again. "You broke my nose…" he stammered.

"Go home. Pack it. Put some ice on it," Ianto told him, calmly; it was his calm that was the most infuriating to the other and he knew it.

Cade just stood there, too stunned to move. "You broke my nose," he repeated.

"Deidre and children are at mine," he told his brother then, his tone still calm. Icy cold. "If you so much as come near them, I swear, Cade, I will break a more than your nose the next time I hit you." It wasn't an idle threat.

"You've no right—"

"You broke Kae's arm."

"He deserved it…"

Ianto's jaw clenched.

Cade looked at him… realized he wasn't going to back down. He turned away and got back into his truck. A moment later he was gone and Ianto had three frightened teenagers crowding around him wanting to know if he was all right…


	113. Breaking Branches pt 10

**A/N:**

Thank you again for all of the wonderful reviews! I appreciate you guys. No, it definitely isn't over between Cade and Ianto... but the dust has settled for the moment.

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Thirteen:**

**Broken Branches (pt. 10)**

_Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition._

Alexander Smith

* * *

_**2 January, 2011**_

.

_I like you too… _despite everything that had happened in the last fifteen minutes (Kae's psycho tad showing up… his uncle… _he_ was bloody amazing)—but it was those four little words that mattered the most to Wynn. Scared him the most. Scared him shitless. He looked over at Kae, still not able to believe he… _I like you too_… He couldn't count the number of times he'd played difference scenarios out in his head, wondering how it might happen… not that it ever _would_ happen, he _**knew**_ it wouldn't. Kae was straight, absolutely positively straight… but sometimes it was nice to daydeam, even if in the end he had to come back to reality. Reality sucked… except…

_I like you too…_

He continued to hang back, watching. Kae asked his uncle if he was ok—there was blood on his shirt. It didn't seem to be his, though, or at least there weren't any obvious cuts or anything. He didn't look like he'd been hurt at all. He said he was fine, that he just needed to clean up a little before they headed back to the city. Bekka said she'd show him to the loo… and suddenly Kae was next to him again and his insides were a quivering mess. He wanted to take his hand, just to prove to himself that he hadn't imagined the kiss Kae had given him, that he hadn't imagined him telling him that he liked him too…

But he didn't dare take Kae's hand because they were still out on the front lawn and Bekka's neighbours were watching them from their porches, their windows. That part didn't surprise him, he knew they weren't really watching _them_, just waiting to see if something else was going to happen. Kae's tad had done a pretty good job of making a spectacle of himself.

"You ok?" Kae's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Yeah… yeah, I'm fine," he tried to smile, but he couldn't. "Are… are you ok?"

"Yeah." Kae was standing very, very close.

Wynn's mouth was dry; his palms were damp. "We should probably go back inside," he suggested after another couple of what felt to him like very awkward seconds ticked past.

Kae nodded his agreement, but then… Wynn felt his fingers brushing against his. He totally missed the uncertainty playing on the other boy's face when he hesitated to take his hand because the neighbours were still watching. He swallowed hard and looked at him; Kae flashed a tight lipped smile and nudged his hand again. This time, Wynn curled his fingers around it. He was sure he was going to die on the spot; no one had ever been willing to hold his hand in public before… well, Bekka held his hand all the time, but that was different, she was a girl.

Wynn knew firsthand that good things never lasted but in the moment it felt so good to have Kae be the one holding his hand where other people could see… it also scared him to death because he knew Kae was doing it to prove that he'd meant it about not being a secret anything. But that was the best excuse he had for not accepting what the other was offering and he _needed _an excuse because he didn't have the willpower to walk away from Kae before things got ugly—and things would get ugly, they always did. Only this time it was going to hurt so much more than it had before because Kae was his best friend and… and he wasn't sure what… he knew they wouldn't be able to go back to being friends again afterwards because Kae would look at him differently, like he was some kind of pervert… he would hate him for… for whatever the ended up doing, even if it was just holding hands.

But then Kae gave his hand a little squeeze… he squeezed back. It was probably already too late. Kae already looked at him differently. He tried to tell himself that his best friend would never hurt him, never turn on him… never abandon him… _at least not on purpose…_

"Are you sure you're ok?"

Wynn nodded. His gaze flickered to Kae's cast. Best friends weren't supposed to abandon each other, but when his tad had appeared, he'd run. "Can we… talk?" he asked.

"Sure," Kae didn't let go of his hand as they walked back inside. Again, he missed the look of uncertainty on the other's face, didn't realize that he was afraid of more or less the same things he was. Kae was always the one who seemed to know what he was doing… well, really, Bekka was the sensible one, but that still didn't count.

They settled themselves onto the sofa. (It sounded like Bekka was in the kitchen puttering with something—Kae's uncle was probably still cleaning up.) Wynn only half noticed that Kae let him sit first; he completely noticed that when he did sit down, he sat right next to him. When Kae folded one leg under him, his knee ended up bumped up against his and he felt like he was going to die all over again, because this wasn't supposed to happen, Kae was never supposed to feel the same way about him…

Before Wynn could give voice to any of the hundred and one things he had running through his head, Kae asked him what had happened.

He knew what he meant. He shrugged. He didn't want to talk about his tad chucking him out. "Same shit, different day," he told him, anyway. "Only this time… this time I… I hit him back. Don't look so impressed," he almost laughed at Kae's wide eyed expression. He didn't have a fighter's build and he'd never thrown a punch in his life. "I didn't mean to hit him, I was just trying to block him from hitting me and I guess… it just happened," he explained it as best as he could. He didn't actually remember hitting his father, he just knew that he had because of his tad's reaction. "He got on his holy high horse and started in about honouring thy mother and father and all that crap. I lost it. I told him where he could stuff it and… and I really lost it, Kae." He looked away… it was all his fault, if he'd just kept his mouth shut, if he'd just let him hit him like he always did… now he had nowhere to go and… and now he didn't want to go anywhere because all of the sudden the one thing he'd wanted more than anything else was really happening!

"You told him you're gay," said Kae, understanding exactly what he wasn't saying, at least about what had had happened with his tad.

Wynn nodded. "For a second I almost thought he was going to have a stroke. Mam started crying. Of course," he all but rolled his eyes and tried to tell himself that it would be all right. Somehow. "Not that all the tears in the world make her stop him from telling me to get out, to never come back. He didn't even give me time to get any of my shit together. By now he's probably had the locks changed, told all his friends… who knows," he shrugged. He had no idea what his father would say to those religious loonies.

"Do you think he'll change…?"

He shook his head. His tad wasn't going to change his mind and his mam would never side with him over his father. He looked up at Kae again. Tentatively, he let his hand slide over, rested it on his knee. He watched him.

Kae reached out, touched his shoulder… it was the kind of comforting touch he'd always been wiling to give, but…

Wynn leant in, just a little… hesitant…afraid… but wanting so badly to kiss him again, just once, because maybe if Kae kissed him back, he could start to believe that it was real… at least until Kae decided he was straight again.

But when the other met his kiss half way, it was hard to believe there was a straight bone in his body because there was nothing reserved or hesitant about the way he kissed him. Wynn deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue past Kae's lips… Kae let him. He kissed him back. He slid in closer, slid his arm around his shoulders… he held him like no one else ever had. (Not that there were very many anyone elses.)

When they finally parted, Wynn found himself staring into those grey blue eyes... he knew he was going to fall so hard… and he knew… maybe… maybe he could try to figure out some way to stay in Cardiff… maybe it would be easier than London anyway… it was a big city, there had to be something… somewhere…

"I should check on my uncle," Kae's voice cut through his thoughts again. "We probably have to go soon."

He nodded, but… "Maybe… maybe you could stay?" he asked hopefully. He knew Bekka wouldn't mind.

Kae shook his head; Wynn felt his heart sink.

"Everything's a mess right now," the other explained. "I can't bail on my mam. But you'll stay here, right? Until Bekka's parents come back?"

He hesitated…

"Wynn, you said you would," Kae reminded him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll stay here, I just don't know what difference it's going to make."

"I don't either. But if you're here… I'll know where to find you."

"Bekka's parents are coming back at the end of the week…"

"I know. I promise, I'll figure something out."

* * *

"I don't know what you expect me to do for this kid," Jack said, his hands settled on his hips, when Ianto explained the situation to him.

On the drive home, Kae had told him exactly how bad Wynn's situation was and begged him to help… apologized for asking for his help. It was just that he didn't know where else to go or what to do, and he didn't want to see his friend end up on the street somewhere, doing God knew what for money. Ianto was pretty sure he had had good idea what Wynn would end up having to do… so did Kae.

"Jack, twelve years ago, I could have been that kid," he reminded his partner. "If I hadn't gotten lucky, if I hadn't met someone like Wendy…" he knew exactly where he might have ended up, if he'd really run away from home. Jack still didn't look convinced. "Even if I hadn't met her," he went on, "I had parents who loved me, Jack. Even though they didn't understand me, they still loved me. I might not have realized it at the time, but they did. I could have gone home if I wanted to. Wynn can't go home. He has no one. No relatives who care, no friends besides Kae and their friend Bekka—and it's not like he can just move in with her family. Isn't this what we do? Don't we help people?"

"This is a little out of our league. Going to your sister in law's rescue was one thing…"

"How many things have I asked you for, Cariad—_really_ asked you for?"

"Ianto…"

Even without the look Jack was giving him, he would have felt guilty for what he was doing because he knew it was unfair. But there were so few things he outright asked for… _yet he gives me absolutely everything… _playing on that, on Jack's innate desire to help people…but it seemed the only way to get through to him on this. "There's got to be something we can do, Jack."

Jack ran a hand through his hair. He looked away for a long moment… he didn't look angry so much as lost in thought, although whether it was because he was trying to come up with some way of telling him there was nothing they could do or if he was trying to figure out a way to help, the younger man couldn't tell. Just the same, he reached over and took his hand.

Jack pulled him closer, resting his hands on his husband's slender hips. "Let me make some calls," Jack said at last. "I can't promise anything, but… you're right. That could have been you. Hell, it might even have been me if I hadn't run off to join the Time Agency. Different circumstances, but… Yes, Ianto, I was young and stupid once, too," he admitted with a wry grin. "It was just a long, long time ago."

His partner smiled but refrained from comment, so Jack went on: "There's got to be someone, somewhere, who owes me a favour I can use to help this kid."

"Thank you, Cariad."


	114. Breaking Branches pt 11

**A/N:**

Ok, I think this is the last official chapter in this story… not that I'm done with Wynn and Kae (as I was driving to pick up my husband from work, I had an idea for a nice fluffy little piece involving them, Jack and Ianto and a camping trip). I'm not really "done" Cade and Deidre either, I'm just ready to slide them back to the back burner.

Thank you again, everyone, so very much for the support that you've given me in general and for this particular arc in particular. When I started it, I had no idea that it was going to touch so many people so strongly. Thank you for sharing that with me, and allowing me to share a little bit of my life with you.

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Fourteen:**

**Broken Branches (pt. 11)**

"_It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable."_

Moliere

"_There is just one life for each of us: our own. " _

Euripides

_Never apologize for showing feeling.  
When you do so, you apologize for the truth._

Benjamin Disraeli

* * *

_**5 January, 2011**_

.

Bekka Snethkamp opened her door with more than a little trepidation playing across her face. On the other side of the threshold, Jack smiled and called her by name as he held out his hand. "Captain Jack Harkness at your service, Ma'am," he introduced himself with what might have been a randier smile, if he wasn't dealing with a teenager. As it was, she still blushed, even though he was very intentionally toning it down a little.

"I think I see what he meant," she said, as she accepted his handshake.

"What who meant about what?" Jack wanted to know.

Bekka sniggered. "Nothing. Come on in."

"I wish I could," he told her with an edge of honesty that clearly surprised her. "We need to get going," he said. Just beyond Bekka, he could see a tall, lanky, dark haired boy hovering in the shadows. He was wearing a black pullover that probably belonged to Bekka (although Jack of all people knew better than to judge) and a pair of jeans with holes in the knees. It made him more glad than ever that he'd decided to pay a little unexpected visit to Wynn's parents. Thankfully, trash pick-up wasn't for another day or two. Even better was having all of his stuff neatly in bags for him to collect when he got there. He couldn't take it all, Wynn would have to travel light for a little while, but he'd nabbed his clothes, a bag of books and CD's... a box of journals. Things he guessed were probably important to the teen. "Ready?" he asked him.

Wynn looked uncertain. Scared. Bruised. The bruises were fading, but the few days he'd been holed at the Snethkamp house weren't enough to completely erase the damage his father had done when he'd kicked him out with nothing but the clothes on his back. Jack reckoned they were nothing, however, compared to the wounds nobody could see were, the non-physical marks those people had left on their son. Their own flesh and blood.

He almost wished he hadn't force fed the mother retcon. She deserved to remember the things he'd said to her—but it was probably better that she didn't. By the time he'd left the woman had been in tears.

He wondered if this was somehow 'karma' in action—not that he believed in karma. If there really was such a thing… it wasn't something he wanted to think about. Only a fool wanted the scales to be balanced. Nobody really wanted 'justice', people just tended to think that they did. But just the same, if he could give back just a little bit to the Powers That Be to make up for running out on Roan and Jason… on Rose and Sophie, his and Laura's girls… on Alice. On everyone else he'd run out on in one way or another…he knew it was the right thing to do. And Ianto was right, too, it really could have been him lost and alone, so if there _was _some kind of Universal Intelligence out there, Jack reckoned he owed It big time for guiding his Welshman to someone like Wendy. If it weren't for her, Ianto might not have lived long enough to stalk his way into his life…his heart… to change it forever. Even though Ianto said he could have gone home, Jack was pretty sure he wouldn't have. He was too stubborn.

He stood back and let Wynn and Bekka say their goodbyes. He'd been intentionally vague with Ianto's nephew about where he was taking the other boy. Not out of any sense of cruelty, but on short notice he'd come up with the best that he could. It wasn't ideal and it didn't make him happy, but the important thing was that Wynn would be safe.

And he was aware that the teen was watching him very closely as they made their way to the SUV. It didn't look to him like Wynn was used to feeling like he could trust anybody. Jack just kept walking. When they got to the vehicle, he watched the boy stop and blink when he saw what was piled up in the back seat. Most of his stuff was in trash bags, but there were a few boxes, so he could see… he blinked up at him, clearly gobsmacked.

Jack grinned. Little gave him more pleasure than knowing he'd done something good. "I figured with everything else going on, you might like some of your own things."

"I…thank you," Wynn breathed. He was still staring into the backseat as he climbed into the passenger seat, looking like he didn't believe anybody would care enough…

Jack got in as well and started up the SUV. They got as far as the end of the lane before Wynn looked over and asked very, very hesitantly where they were he was being taken. He understood the boy's fear. It had taken him longer than he would have liked to get things moving—Bekka's parents would be coming home tomorrow. Wynn must have thought that no one was going to be able to help him after all, that no one cared. Jack was fairly sure that Kae hadn't actually had time to call him. Or if he had, he hadn't been able to talk about what was going to happen when Jack told him last night that he'd finally sorted something out and would be coming to get him today.

"A friend of a friend runs a group home for kids about your age," he answered the boy's question. "It's not ideal," he admitted. He'd about run out of places to turn when he happened to mention the situation to his daughter and she offered to introduce him to her friend Molly.

Wynn swallowed hard. Nodded. Looked nervous.

"They're all in situations a lot like yours," Jack assured him. It made his gut churn to think that it was 2011 and parents still chucked their kids, their own flesh and blood, out on their ear over sexual orientation… gender identity issues. "It's all boys and they've all been thrown out of their homes, just like you. _None_ of them are there because they did anything wrong."

Slowly, Wynn nodded, seeming to understand what he was implying with his tone, his choice of words. "Where… I mean…" he looked uncertain, like he knew he should just be grateful he wasn't going to end up on the street. Jack was pretty sure he was grateful, he was just trying to figure out where exactly he was going to end up. He was sure things must look pretty dismal from where Wynn was sitting.

"I know you wanted to go to London," he told him. "But you're going to have to settle for Cardiff for a little while—"

"I don't mind staying in Cardiff," the teen said quickly, cutting him off. "I mean… I'm just glad… anything's great. I really appreciate you going out on a limb and stuff for me. I know… I mean… it's not like…" he shrugged, not seeming to know what to say. They both knew he wasn't anything Jack. Kae wasn't either, not really.

"I got lucky, Wynn," he told him honestly. "I was born… my parents never cared who I brought home. But I've seen…" he remembered what Cardiff was like when he first arrived over a hundred years ago. And before that, travelling… he'd been in other times, on other planets, places where sexual freedom was nonexistent. "I'm glad to be able to help," he said with enough honest sincerity to convince the other that he meant it.

Wynn nodded again. "So…what next? I mean… I'm still just a kid… I mean… I'm sixteen, but…"

"One step at a time. We'll get you into school—you have to finish," he said. "That's one of the house rules. One of my rules, too. Think of it as Harkness' Rule Number One," he borrowed a page out of Gibbs' book… "Well, maybe Rule Number Two." He liked Gibbs' first rule about never being unreachable. "Rule Number One is to stay put. No running away."

"It's not like I've got anywhere else to go," he said miserably.

"There's always somewhere to go, it's just that the places you end up are usually worse than what you're running from. _Usually_," he emphasized it. "But I happen to know that where I'm taking you is a good place to be. You just have to follow the rules and keep your nose clean. The lady who runs the place is a good person, Wynn," he said to the worried look that had come over the boy's face. "She just wants you—everyone she takes care of—to succeed." He knew he'd liked Molly Campbell when she said that the best 'revenge' her boys could ever get on their parents was to live well, to become successful, productive… happy. He'd also liked the way she kept referring to them as _her _boys, giving him the impression she really cared about each and every one of them. (He also knew the only way she'd found a way to make room for Wynn was because of Alice.) "There's no drugs, no drinking, and a pretty strict curfew" he cautioned. "If you mess it up here, I'm not sure we'll be able to find you another place."

"I won't mess up, I promise," he said. He still looked scared.

"I'm sure you won't." Jack glanced at the clock on the dash. "I think we've got enough time to swing by mine for a few minutes… if you want."

Wynn hesitated. "You… are you sure… I mean…?"

"We've got time and Kae would probably like to see you. If you want to see him…?" he asked.

"I'd like to see him again, before…" but he didn't finish that sentence either. "If you really think he wants to see me."

"It's not a prison, Wynn," Jack promised him. "You'll be able to see each other. I just want you to understand that this is your one shot and not mess it up."

He nodded. Watched the road going by. He didn't speak again until they were in Cardiff. "Maybe… maybe… I mean… Kae's mam probably doesn't want to see me… you know. Does she know?" he asked. "I don't want there to be any problems for him, not with everything else going on."

"Let me worry about the big stuff," said Jack. He hadn't been quite sure what he thought of the kid sitting next to him before that statement. Now he knew he liked him. He exited the highway and took a left, heading towards home.

* * *

Wynn licked his lips nervously as he followed Harkness across the street from where he'd parked, towards a neat looking house in the middle of a row of similarly kept homes. There was a hedge around the front garden… a sled propped up against the porch in the hopes that it might actually snow some more. There was a light dusting on the ground, but nowhere near enough for sledding. Still, something about the sled made Wynn feel like Harkness' place was a home and not just another house.

Kae looked up as soon as they came inside; actually everyone looked up, but it was Kae that Wynn noticed… him _and_ his mother. She knew. He knew she knew. He felt heat overtaking his cheeks, but before he could do much more than tell her hello in the most polite tone he could muster, two of Kae's sisters came over and hugged him. He'd never understood why Kendra and Cameryn liked him so much, but the two girls clung to him every time he saw them.

He looked over at Kae (again), but it seemed like he was avoiding looking back. His heart sunk through the floor boards. It wasn't like he'd expected him to run right up and kiss him in front of his whole family or anything, but… _but I should have known better… _he should have known better than to let himself get swept up in his own daydreams again. In the end, he always had to come back to reality and reality always hurt.

And that was selfish, he realized. Kae had enough to worry about without _**him **_showing up out of the blue. His tad…his mam… all his brothers and sisters. They were practically homeless… God only knew what was really going to happen to them.

Wynn looked at the Captain, trying to figure out how to get him to just take him to that home or whatever, without sounding rude or anything because he didn't want to make things any more uncomfortable than they already seemed to be between Kae and his mam. She kept looking at him like she _did _expect her son to run right up and kiss him. It was pretty obvious that the thought horrified her.

However, instead of reading the silent cues Wynn was trying desperately to send, Jack asked who was up for hot chocolate There was no shortage of takers. He didn't miss Ella's quiet reminder that he needed to remember he was making it for _children,_ this time, either, or Jack's comment that he'd learnt to make hot chocolate from her… he'd ever seen either of his parents bantering back and forth with their parents.

And suddenly it was just him and Kae alone together in the lounge. He wiped his palms against his thighs. Neither of them spoke for several very long moments. Finally, Wynn forced a smile and asked Kae how his arm was feeling. It sounded lame but he didn't know what else to say and the silence had become unbearable.

"It still hurts," Kae answered softly. "How… how you know… how are you holding up?"

Wynn shrugged. "Ok, I guess." When Kae nodded for him to take a seat, he sat down in one of the chairs. He didn't want to sit on the sofa—he knew Kae wouldn't sit next to him anyway. It was stupid, but he couldn't deal with having his supposedly best friend get all weird on him like he thought (was certain) that he was. At least if he took the chair, the decision to be weird about the situation was his, not someone else's.

He completely missed the look on Kae's face as he tried to sort out how to sit near him. Finally he took the chair next to the one he was sitting in and scooted it over a little. He leant over towards him, resting his good hand practically right on the arm of Wynn's chair.

Wynn's heart began to pound in his chest. He shifted so his hand was next to Kae's. He didn't take his hand, but… "Did… did they tell you?" he asked, even though his mouth was dry, making it was hard to talk.

"Tell me what?"

"They found me a place to stay."

Kae nodded. He didn't look happy.

"What's wrong? I thought…" he'd thought he would be happy.

The other forced a smile. It was obviously a forced effort. "I knew Jack would come through for you. He's got friends in London… he seems to have friends everywhere," he swallowed hard. "I even heard him talking on the phone with some guy in Toronto about… you know… stuff. I wasn't trying to listen in or anything," he seemed embarrassed, "but Jack was asking him what to do." Worse than sad, he sounded hopeless. "So erm… where…?"

Wynn didn't understand what was really eating at him. "It's some kind of group home here in Cardiff—"

Kae's head snapped up.

"He didn't say much about it, just that the lady that runs it is pretty ok."

"Cardiff?" Kae asked, as if he wasn't really sure he'd heard him right. "You're staying here? In the city?"

"Yeah. He says we can… you know… if you want… if you still want to… to see me…? I mean…" they were still friends, weren't they?

Kae laid his hand on top of his. "When I heard Jack talking to that guy in Toronto…" he shook his head. "London was bad enough. I was sure he was going to say he was shipping you off to Canada."

Wynn smiled for real, his expression stopping the other mid-sentence. He twined his fingers into Kae's. "You think I'm that easy to get rid of?" he managed to tease, even though his stomach was doing flip-flops.

"You'd better not be."

Wynn squeezed his hand tight; Kae squeezed back.

"What about you guys?" he asked in a more sombre tone. "I mean… you know, you can't stay here forever." It would just be his luck that he was staying in Cardiff but Kae was moving away.

"Mam's afraid… you know, my tad… here she feels pretty safe here, he won't come after us here because of Uncle Ianto and Jack. Jack's mam is pretty scary when she wants to be, too." His expression made it clear that he certainly wouldn't want to cross Ella Harkness.

"But you can't stay here… can you?" he asked him.

Kae shook his head. "Mam's got an appointment with a lawyer tomorrow, the same guy who did my Aunt Nerys' divorce. I guess he's pretty tough. After they file the paperwork and whatever else they have to do, we're going to go live with my grandmother. You know, the one who isn't a loon."

Wynn gave him a look. "Your tad's mother?"

"She's seriously pissed at him right now," Kae explained. "She all but disowned him—told him she didn't want to see his face again until he straightened himself out. I heard her telling Jack and Uncle Yan. She can be kinda scary, too," he said; he'd obviously never thought of his Gran as scary before. "Her house is big and I guess she wants the company."

"Where…?"

"Not too far from here," he promised, running his thumb over the top of Wynn's hand, seeming to understand what he was afraid of. "She said we could stay with her as long as we need to. Which will probably be a long time." It didn't sound like he had any idea how they were going to make it, even moving in with his grandmother.

Wynn nodded. "Is she… I mean…" he couldn't help the feeling of selfishness, wanting to know if she would be ok with them… if they really were a 'them', a couple. "Kae… you and me… are we… I mean… what is this, really? I don't care what it is," he said very quickly, even though it was a total lie. He _did_ care—he cared so much. He was well on his way to falling in love with him, but… "I just… I need… I need to know what you want. From me." He tried very hard not to sound too hopeful (or too pathetic), and to ignore the heat creeping up into his cheeks and the nearly painful fluttering in his stomach. He didn't want to push Kae, he just wanted to know what he wanted before it was too late and he was hopelessly in love with someone who didn't want to be in love with him.

Kae took in a deep breath and let it out; Wynn felt his stomach start to bottom out again. When he didn't look at him, it just got worse. "I guess… I don't know exactly," Kae admitted, slowly, still not making eye contact. "I mean… I've been trying to figure it out, too. You're still my best friend, Wynn, and I don't ever want that to change," he looked at him at last, but his expression was too hard to read. There was what he thought he was saw, what he wanted to see…but he was afraid… what if he was wrong? So he just held onto his hand and let Kae keep talking:

"My Uncle Yan says Jack is his best friend and… and I know how much they…" he hesitated again; that scared Wynn, too because he thought Kae was about to say…_love…_his uncle and his partner were very much in love, he knew they were. And if they were best friends, too, maybe it meant….maybe he wasn't the only one falling in love?

"I guess we just have to figure it out," Kae told him finally. "But I guess since we're already best friends… I mean… it's gotta mean we're off to a good start, yeah? Just as long as we… as we can stay friends, too?"

Wynn nodded his agreement. He didn't ever want to be anything less than best friends. He just wanted to be so much more, too. "I've… I have had a mad crush on you for almost two years," he confessed, feeling more than a little foolish about it. "It was like… one day I just looked up and there you were. You'd always been there, but suddenly… suddenly every time you were around I felt… I don't know how to explain it. I just know it killed me when you and Kellie… that's why…I want to tell you something, but I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Is it about Billy MacCullen?"

Guiltily he nodded; he wasn't surprised Kae had pieced at least part of it together—no thanks to Bekka.

"What happened?" Kae asked him.

"It was totally stupid. It was never about… it was just… just what I could do for him. He never liked me, but I just… I was so hurt by you and Kellie and I just wanted one person to want me." God, he knew how pathetic he sounded!

But Kae didn't look mad. If anything, he looked guilty, hurt, too. "Why didn't you tell me?" he wanted to know.

"Because I knew what you'd say and I'd have to admit that you were right, that he was just using me for what I could do for him. I wasn't ready to admit it until… I made it worse when I tried to give him a stupid bottle of cologne for Christmas. He didn't even open it, he just threw it in his locker and asked me if… if I was coming over to… to take care of him. I know how stupid I was. I told him… I guess I broke up with him. That's when he went from being a jerk to an uber-jerk." Which meant that all this really was his fault, because if he'd never…

But instead of pulling away or being angry, Kae pulled in closer, squeezed his hand tighter. "Just promise me you won't ever do something like that again, ok? Don't ever let anybody use you or hurt you."

"I'm kind of hoping that won't be a problem with the guy I'm seeing now," he said with a ghost of a smile. "We haven't been together very long, but he… he's not some self-centred jerk."

Kae smiled at him, too. "That won't be a problem," he promised. But then… "Wynn, I… I don't know anything about anything…"

"Don't worry about it." He leant in, just a little closer. He didn't want to push him… but Kae didn't hesitate to meet his kiss half way.

* * *

Deidre watched her son and his…friend…from the kitchen doorway. She tried not to be sick. She tried to understand. And it wasn't like they were hanging on each other. It had barely been a peck of a kiss and then they went back to just holding hands. Kae asked if Wynn wanted some hot chocolate. Wynn offered to get it for him. When he stood up, he leant in and kissed him again, just as lightly as he had a moment ago… it was a perfectly appropriate kiss… _if Wynn were a girl… _Deidre schooled her expression carefully. When he gave her a polite nod, as he passed by where she was standing, she returned it. It didn't escape her that he looked nervous; so did Kae.

She flashed her son the best smile she could manage under the circumstances before turning and watching Jack ladle up two cups of cocoa from the pot on the stove. She let her gaze follow Wynn as he took the mugs out to the lounge and she saw the look on her son's face when he handed one of them over.

She leant against the wall, not wanting to watch them any more and not knowing how to feel about what she'd already witnessed.

Deidre became aware of Jack's mother standing next to her, then. Ella had two cups of hot cocoa in hand; she handed one over. It smelled like it was spiked with something. "There are worse things your boy could do for himself than to find somebody who makes him happy," said Jack's mother. "Worse things you could do for yourself."

She shot over a startled look. Ella just smiled and drank her cocoa. It smelled like it was spiked with something, too.

"Is it really that simple?" she asked her. Normally she didn't drink, but today, she was grateful for whatever Ella had slipped into her cup. "All my life I've been told… I've been told that this is right and that's wrong and there isn't any grey area…"

"Life isn't black and white. It's all shades of grey and none of it is simple. But that's all the more reason to enjoy the little moments of happiness that life throws our way now and then. Questioning those moments… analyzing them, putting them up against some sort of moral, social compass… it's a waste of time. And time is something none of us has a whole lot of in the grand scheme of things…" she cast an odd sidelong glance in her son's direction and drank her cocoa. "The human heart is full of love," she said at length.

"What about God's heart? God's Law?" she asked, even though she knew Ella Harkness was some sort of Heathen. Hippie. Scientist. Whatever. It was all the same. But nothing she'd ever been taught was helping any more.

Ella looked at her long and hard before answering. "How can a human know the mind or heart of something as big as a Deity, Deidre? If you believe God made us in His or Her or Their image, and if we're capable of loving other people for who they are _inside_, not what they are _outside, _than that must say something about what God really intended, don't you think?"


	115. No Rest for the Wicked

**A/N:**

The idea was in the back of my head and wouldn't let me go to sleep until I started writing it… although I'm hoping to work some on Stars and the Ossuary this week as well (and really, this one should be shorter than the last two "short" stories.)

Oh and on a "personal" note of sorts… anyone watching House this season and shaking their heads about the whole Cameron/Chase thing? I mean… all that work to set them up and now what? I thought last season was messed up for them… I'm sure "my" Chase is happier in Cardiff dealing with aliens!

Thanks again for the wonderful reviews… hope you enjoy this one, too.

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Fifteen:**

No Rest for the Wicked

_Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations.  
When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. _

~George Carlin

* * *

_**12 May, 2011**_

.

"What?" Jack asked of his partner; Ianto was gaping at him as if he'd just sprouted a second head. Not that he couldn't think of uses for a second head… an extra set of arms maybe…but that was beside the point.

The younger man settled his hands on his hips and continued to stare while silently counting to ten. He tried to tell himself that his extremely negative reaction to what Jack had just proposed was the result having just spent a fourteen hour day at the Hub, most of it engaged in 'spring cleaning'—both actual physical cleaning and going over reports from the last four months. It was amazing. Bloody amazing. Of the lot of them, Tim, Sara, and Bobby were the only three people he could reliably count on to fill out paperwork properly. Completely. Using proper grammar, accurate spelling and appropriate detail. God, he loved them.

Abby came close. She tried at least. But she tended to get distracted. Little wonder, really. Her brain moved a million times faster than anyone else he'd ever met. She was also the only person he knew who consumed more caffeine than Jack.

Wendy tried too—with the reports, not the coffee. She put in a decent effort. Her and Gwen both, really… he sighed. He didn't want to think about Mickey or Jack when it came to paperwork; it was like a contest, to see who could drive him to drink faster.

The rest of the day had been spent tracking down a rogue Weevil and investigating a couple of (thankfully) minor Rift spikes. All he wanted now was a nice hot bath, maybe a shoulder rub and then the comfort of his bed. He had the next three days off and…

Jack was still staring at him.

"Don't you think it's short notice?" he made the tactical error of trying for the logical approach. He could see as soon as he said it that it was a mistake.

"I already cleared it with Deidre—she thought it sounded like a great idea."

"Did you include the part where you were inviting Wynn along?"

"What kind of a holiday would it be without Kae's boyfriend?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Jack, I hate to point this out to you, but have you actually thought through the wisdom of taking a pair of horny teenaged boys camping?" he inquired.

Jack's smile assured him that he had. Apparently they had different ideas about 'wisdom' on the subject.

"Aren't you supposed to work over the weekend?" Ianto asked him. He was getting desperate.

"Mickey said he'd cover for me."

"And Nerys is going to get angry at me."

"Nah, she's got that thing this weakened anyway, that conference or whatever."

He hated it when Jack had an answer for everything. "I thought Mickey was taking the weekend off to look after Remy," he told him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled off his shoes. His feet ached… Jack sat down in front of him, pulled off his socks and started rubbing them. He would have glowered if it hadn't felt so good, especially when he reached for the peppermint foot cream… it was completely unfair of his husband to… "Jack… Remy?" he asked before he forgot his own train of thought.

"Your Mom said she'd take her for the weekend."

Of course she had. Jack _always_ had an answer for everything when he wanted something.

"Just think about it," Jack cooed. "Fishing. Hiking. A campfire… you and me under the stars…"

"With a pair of horny teenaged boys…and, I hate to feed into stereotypes, Cariad, but while Kae might do fine with fishing and hiking, I don't see Wynn as the outdoors type," he pointed out yet another obvious fact to his oblivious partner.

"Exactly why it'll be good for him," Jack grinned. "If it makes you feel any better," he continued, rubbing the arch of his left foot hard enough to make his eyes water…but in a few minutes it was going to feel _so_ good… "I talked to Shane. He agreed to come along and help us keep an eye on the boys—things are pretty quiet in London right now. So I figure we can put him in a tent with Kae and Wynn and you and me can bunk with Jason and Steven…"

Ianto glared at him. "Excuse me?"

"I thought it'd be fun. You know, just us guys, out in the wilderness, bonding, roughing it…Steven loves camping. Alice takes him all the time," he added.

Ianto glared harder. The _least_ Jack could have done was arrange for a little romance…somewhere. In between mosquitoes, ticks… bloody cannibals. "Fantastic," he snarled. He didn't even bring up the fact that it was entirely too cold to go camping. He didn't want to hear his partner's response.

"Where's your sense of adventure?"

"I gave it up for Lent."

Jack switched feet. It didn't help his mood.

"Jack… honestly… you and me and Shane," who only barely counted as an adult, especially when Jack was around, "a pair of horny teenagers who hardly get to see each other _and_ your son and grandson?" Who were probably also horny teenagers, or at least nearly so—he couldn't believe Jason was going to be turning twelve in just a few weeks. The last few years had flown by so fast. However, "Have you seriously lost your mind?" he asked the obvious question.

"C'mon, it'll be fun!"

Right. He clearly _**had**_ lost his mind. "Have you forgotten what happened the last time you dragged me off on a camping trip?"

"Ianto. That was… what, five years ago?"

"I don't care."

"I promise, there won't be any cannibals this time."

"Just mosquitoes. Mud. Rain. It always rains, you know. It never fails. Rain clouds hover over campgrounds. When was the last time you even checked your gear?" he knew that question was a mistake the moment the words were out of his mouth, but by then it was too late.

Jack flashed him mischievous smile and slid his hands up his leg. "I don't know…maybe you'd like to have a look?" He waggled his brows suggestively. "Just to see if my gear is still in operational condition…?"

"I'm exhausted, Jack."

"Don't tell me you're getting to old for me…"

"I might be," he said, more seriously than he'd intended. He knew Jack was joking, but…

"Never," his Captain laid both hands on his legs, no longer feeling him up. "Not even if you live to be a hundred. You will never be too old for me, Ianto." The pain in his tone made Ianto regret his own tone from a second ago.

"I'm just tired, Cariad," he told him. "It was a long day." He took his hands into his and held them a moment. He knew he'd already lost the camping discussion—he'd lost it a while ago (possibly before it had even begun), but he'd not wanted to go down without a fight. "What time is Shane getting here?" _in other words what time do I have to get up…_ he thought ruefully. He had so been looking forward to sleeping in late. Really, really late.

Jack shot over another mischievous grin; it was far less lecherous than the last one. "We're picking him up on the way," he told him. "I said we'd be there by eight."

"Where exactly are you planning on taking me?" he asked, mentally calculating exactly how much sleep he _wasn't _going to get tonight. Jack must have already packed… God, he hoped he had… but they would have to collect Wynn… Kae… Steven was more or less on the way to London, but still… he reached over and set the alarm.

"It's a surprise," Jack answered the question of location with one of those smirks, the kind that alternately amused and frightened his partner. "Now… about my gear…" he persisted, brows raised… there was clearly not going to be any rest for the wicked tonight…


	116. No Rest For the Wicked pt 2

**A/N:**

Thank you again for the lovely reviews…. And now I owe you all a huge apology. While I was writing this chapter I realized that there was something (something HUGE) that I should have written into the Christmas 2010 story… all I can say is that it's a plot hole and I acknowledge it. I wasn't paying enough attention to my timeline (because there is something in this chapter than has been the plan all along) and I goofed (and I feel royally daft!)

But I'd rather own up to my mistake than to make excuses or worse yet, try to plug it after the fact with plot-line excuses. Although I intend to go back and fix it by re-writing ch. 103, because I just *wasn't* thinking (and I mentioned that I felt like an idiot, right?) I had too many balls in the air and I dropped one.

So, that said, yes, there is something in this chapter that's been in the works since my CoE re-write and it ties into that boat that isn't being built in the recent Ossuary chapter (which isn't to say there there won't be any more boats, there will.)

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Sixteen**

**No Rest For the Wicked (pt 2)**

_"Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. _  
_The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. _  
_Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. _  
_To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life."_

Marianne Williamson

* * *

_**13 May, 2011**_

.

Three pairs of jeans… four t-shirts… two pull over sweaters, on long sleeved, button down shirt (_not _one of his dress shirts, which proved that Jack was indeed capable of learning from his mistakes), his favourite hoodie, five pairs of socks (in case it rained all weekend), two sets of thermal underwear and four pairs of boxers. He was sure Jack would call his bag over-packed.

"Satisfied?" his husband's tone was scathing, even though the arms that wrapped themselves around his midsection from behind made it perfectly clear that he wasn't nearly as pissy as he was trying to convince the younger man that he was. "I _told_ you I had your bag packed," Jack's voice sing-songed in his ear.

Ianto smirked. Even if Jack weren't holding him close, he would have known he wasn't irritated at his lack of faith in the older man's ability to pack for him. Just the same, he double checked that his toothbrush and razor had made it in as well...

"I don't know you feel you have to shave."

"I hate a scratchy face," he retorted. It wasn't a new argument. "Besides, you packed yours," he added over his shoulder. They seriously needed to get dressed and get moving, but at the moment, he was enjoying being held. He also wished they had gotten out of bed sooner… or woken up sooner. Something was poking him in the back. He was just as 'alert' himself.

In response to his comment, however, Jack just grinned—Ianto couldn't see it, but he could hear it in his tone when he told him that that was different.

"How is it different?" he wanted to know.

"Well what if we meet a group of Boy Scouts or something and the scoutmaster happens to be drop dead gorgeous?"

Ianto blinked. Maybe it was too early to try and follow Jack's line of thought. Unless… "So you're saying you need to look good in case you find a little 'side action' while on a camping trip with half of Cardiff?" he wasn't actually perturbed. It was too early to be perturbed.

However, Jack held him just a little tighter when he said 'no'. "I'm saying I need to look good enough that you don't end up running off into the woods with that gorgeous scoutmaster," he explained, his words coming out as a soft crooning in his ear.

The younger man turned himself around so he was facing his partner. "Never."

"That wasn't what you said that time we…"

"That was different," he interrupted him. "Beside, _we _took him to bed. Not me or you separately. I'm not interested in sleeping with anybody unless you're there, too, Jack."

The Captain flashed a cocky grin and Ianto knew that, at least to an extent, he'd been baited into saying that—as if Jack didn't already know it. "Doesn't mean I don't want to look my best for you," he said, continuing to look entirely too pleased with himself.

Ianto sighed. It was too early in the morning to fight… he didn't even know why he wanted to fight, other than that he hated it when Jack baited him into stating the obvious. So instead of giving into his irritation, he leant in… and bedroom door swung open wide.

Jason groaned.

"Serves you right for not knocking," Jack admonished his son gently, looking at him over his husband's shoulder but not letting go of him.

"You're supposed to be getting dressed!" Jason reminded him. "Not... doing whatever you're doing."

"Can't a man kiss his best beau good morning?" he wanted to know.

Ianto sniggered. "We probably should be getting dressed, Cariad. It is getting late." Not that five o'clock in the morning felt particularly 'late' to him, not after having only gotten four hours of sleep last night. Just the same, as soon as they picked up Shane, Ianto had every intention of getting in a nap. Not that Jack had told him where they were going.

Fifteen minutes later, they were dressed, the last of the gear had been stowed and they were on the road, Jack and Jason in the black Torchwood SUV, and Ianto driving solo in his own vehicle because there was no way to fit everybody into one SUV.

Twenty five minutes after leaving theirs, they pulled up in front of Ianto's mam's house. He was surprised to find Wynn there already, sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, still wearing his pyjama bottoms. Despite the fact that he looked to be on at least his second cup, he was clearly only half awake. He mumbled hello with what passed for a friendly smile. It looked like he'd put on a bit of weight (he'd been thinner than Kae the last time Ianto had seen him, the day Jack brought him over on their way to the group home) and he'd gotten both ears pierced. His hair seemed a bit longer, too, although the cut was more flattering with long bangs, but short in the back. Other than being sleepy, he looked content.

"Morning," Ianto acknowledged him—he refused to call it 'good'—and glanced at his mother for some sort of explanation.

"It seemed practical to have him stay over last night," was all his she had to say on the subject. She pressed a cup of coffee into his hands, at which point he no longer cared about much else. He sat down next to Wynn at the table.

Deidre, had been fussing over Kae since before they came in the door and was still at it (although to his credit, Ianto's nephew was taking it in stride). The teen only been camping once before, with Gavin and Trea, several years ago. Just the same, Ianto knew his nephew had been fishing and hiking, or at least on good long walks and bike rides with his friends; he was far more the outdoors type than Wynn (at least if appearances and intuition were anything to go on.)

"Ready to go?" Jack finally inquired, after glancing not once, but twice at his watch. He looked more ready to crawl out of his skin in impatient eagerness than his son.

Ianto and Wynn drained their cups and Kae gave his mam a last peck on the cheek before hoisting his duffle bag up over his shoulder. Wynn seemed a bit less enthusiastic than his boyfriend, but followed him dutifully, bidding a cordial good-bye to both Deidre and Alice. The latter reminded him to keep warm and asked, probably for the fifth time, if he'd packed a sufficient quantity of pairs of socks and underwear. The smile he flashed her when he said yes, he had everything, including his toothbrush, was genuine.

So was the one Ianto gave his mother as he kissed her cheek and told her 'thank you' very quietly. There had been a time when he never would have expected her to accept Kae and Wynn…him and Jack. She squeezed his hand and told the Captain that he'd best return them all to her in one piece.

He gave her what would have been considered a cocky salute a few years ago—now Alice took it in easy stride. Her daughter in law clearly wasn't nearly as comfortable with the situation, but she smiled anyway. Ianto doubted that Deidre would ever be truly comfortable with Kae's sexuality, but she seemed to be trying. He supposed that was the best any parent could do. He promised her that they'd look after the boys and trooped out after them and Jack. It was a beastly cold morning… he didn't want to think about waking up in a tent tomorrow… as it was, his breath was coming out in little white puffs.

He sighed. Camping was not his idea of a fun way to spend the weekend… _but it's a bit late to do anything about it,_ he thought, so there was really no use moaning about, either aloud or silently.

"Why don't you two ride with me," he invited Kae and Wynn; Jason was already climbing into the Torchwood SUV with his father. (Ianto had had a long talk with his husband to make sure that Jack had removed everything thing they _didn't _need to take on a camping trip. Regardless of what he'd once told him, dino meds really weren't required… he hoped.)

The boys loaded their gear into the back of his red hybrid; Ianto was impressed when Kae opted to sit up front, giving Wynn the backseat. When he was their age, he would have jumped at the chance to snuggle up in the back with his boyfriend (if he'd had one)—although in all honesty, it looked as if Wynn was going to be out cold in under ten minutes. Still, he appreciated not being treated like a chauffeur.

He pulled away from the curb and followed Jack down the street and back towards the highway…

Just under an hour later, they were sitting at Alice's kitchen table while she fussed over Steven almost exactly the same way Deidre had fussed over Kae. Ianto smiled into his cup, but not over that. Or at least not entirely over that. Mostly he was smiling at his partner and Alice's 'boyfriend' (it was hard to call a man of fifty something a 'boy' anything) because just about a year ago, Alice had dropped a proverbial bomb on her father's head and he was clearly still digesting it, even though (or perhaps especially because) her 'boyfriend' had moved in at Christmas. Personally Ianto was glad Alice had discovered that there could indeed be 'life after divorce'. And she certainly could have done worse than Tim and Abby's old boss.

Ianto drained his cup. "We'd better get going," he announced. They were due to pick up Shane in barely an hour, although with the way Jack drove, that probably wouldn't be a problem…


	117. Back to Nature pt 1

**A/N:**

**Ok on Plotholes**: Like I said in the last chapter, I had way too many balls in the air and dropped a few. A few of you know a little more detail on exactly how mad life has been the last few months.

I've made a minor edit to the last chapter (the paragraph about Alice and Gibbs) to clear up the timeline a little (and I'll be updating the official timeline in my profile soon.) I'll be sorting ch 103 in short order – the rest of it will probably be covered in the Alice/Gibbs story. Thank you again for being so very patient and understanding (and for the lovely reviews!!)

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Seventeen**

**Back to Nature (pt 1)**

"_We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."_

Author Unknown

* * *

_**13 May, 2011**_

.

"Ianto… I think we're here," Shane said from behind the steering wheel.

Sleepily, the young Welshman opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. The lane they'd just turned onto was heavily wooded on both sides. The lane was _dirt_. It was bumpy. Full of ruts. _Like waking up in Hell… _He wasn't sure exactly when he'd fallen asleep, but he didn't feel especially rested. After they'd picked Shane up in London, and gotten some much needed breakfast, he'd asked Jack's great grandson to drive so he could close his eyes for a bit.

He glanced at the clock on the dash. It was nearly one o'clock… _which accounts for my being starving again…_ He adjusted himself into a better sitting position and glanced into the backseat at the boys.

"They've been at it almost the whole time," Shane told him softly, not that his voice would likely have disturbed the two teens.

Ianto smiled; each was engrossed in his own handheld game (top of the line affairs that could only have come from Jack), but they were sitting with their knees bumping up against one another. Every once in a while one or the other would look up, grin…they were probably playing together (or against each other) online.

Up ahead, Jack made a left onto another little dirt road; this one twisted and turned, wound up and about, over a bridge (Ianto found himself praying it held, it didn't seem sturdy enough…but they made it across unscathed.) "Where are we?" he asked Shane.

The Irishman just shrugged. "Dunno. I lost track of it after we got of the highway. Somewhere near Manchester, I think."

Ianto nodded. At least the forest gave way to field and Jack pulled off the road (such as it had become) and stopped his vehicle. Shane pulled up behind him and parked as well. Steven and Jason were already out of the other SUV, waiting at the rear to help Jack get the gear out.

Behind Ianto, the teens put up their games without complaint and slid out of the backseat; they were less inclined to bouncing, preferring to stretch before helping with the gear. They weren't the only ones. Ianto had a crick in his neck from sleeping sitting up… and all he had to look forward to were two nights on cot (he supposed he was be glad Jack had invested in a double sized cot… he just wasn't sure how he felt about a similar accommodation for the teens—although in all fairness, Jason and Steven were bunking double, as well. Jack insisted it was to save space packing. He was dubious…)

"Come on, men," called Jack, rallying the troops and directing the setting up of the two big green military style tents… the very sight of them brought back unpleasant memories to the young Welshman. He did his best to brush it off and help Kae and Wynn… they were both clueless. Shane, at least, seemed familiar with the setting up of a tent. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying himself almost as much as Jason and Steven…

It was contagious. By the time they'd established camp and dug out a small fire pit, Ianto was feeling better about the entire adventure—although perhaps that had to do with the scent of food cooking over the fire. Jack was busy fixing hamburgers and beans…Shane directed Steven and Jason to get out the plates and cutlery while he got the homemade potato salad out of his cooler and directed (Martha and Lois had apparently taken pity on them and sent along a few staples. They'd both been subjected to the Captain's 'galaxy famous' chilli a time or two.) Kae and Wynn had taken a walk, hand in hand, but promised not to go far—Ianto might have been more suspicious of their wandering off unsupervised if he weren't certain they were starving as well.

He pulled a camp chair up next to his husband. The warmth of the fire felt good, being close to Jack felt even better.

"Think I could talk you into working a little coffee magic?" the older man queried with a coy little smile.

He returned it. "If I can get you to work on my neck later."

"I'll work on your…" he stopped, realizing that the boys were near by, so instead of saying what he was so plainly thinking, Jack just waggled his brows instead. "I'll rub anything you want me to," he promised.

(Jason grimaced and pretended not to have heard him say that.)

Ianto, having not noticed Jack's son's reaction, continued smiling. "I might even let you rub what _you _want," he said and then got up to get the coffee making supplies.

"Hey…" Jack called after him. "I packed some pineapples." His brows shot up again.

His Welshman smirked. Maybe this wasn't going to be a completely miserable weekend after all…

* * *

"_The opposite of security is insecurity, and the only way to overcome insecurity is to take risks."_ Theodore Forstmann

* * *

"You're awful quiet," Kae observed sullenly after many, many long moments of silence had passed between he and Wynn. He hated the silence. It always made him wonder. Worry. It was even worse when Wynn didn't even respond, he just kept walking.

It had been Wynn's idea to take a walk; he'd responded when Kae took his hand, but now he wasn't even looking at him. In accordance with Jack's instructions, they were keeping to the footpath, not wandering off…wandering far. When they came to a huge fallen log over the path, instead of going over it, Wynn sat down, looked off to his left at the brush… the trees. Everything. Nothing. Kae couldn't tell. He didn't sit. He just waited. He wasn't sure what he was waiting for, but… "Wynn?" he asked when the other still didn't respond to his question. They weren't holding hands any more. "Is… something the matter?" he shoved his hands into his pockets.

Wynn shrugged. His expression was clouded over, difficult to read, but the look in his eyes made Kae's stomach bottom out.

"Wynn?"

"I was just… thinking, I guess," he gave the same answer he gave every time Kae commented on how quiet he got sometimes. He'd always been that way, the other supposed, sometimes he'd just pull into himself…but lately it seemed like it was happening all the time.

"What are you thinking about?"

Wynn shrugged. "Nothing special."

Kae swallowed hard… maybe his mam was right when she said the person he was with when he was fifteen…sixteen… that wasn't the person he'd end up with… he knew what she really wanted… _for me to find a nice girl…_ but that didn't make her wrong. Only no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't imagine being with anybody else, not ever… _but just because __**I **__can't imagine it… _he didn't know what Wynn could or couldn't imagine, what he wanted.

Wynn was living in a house eight other boys, six of whom were just about his age and they were all either gay or bisexual _and_ gorgeous. _All_ of them. And even though there was a house rule about 'no fraternizing', Kae couldn't believe that nobody ever thought about it. How couldn't they? So now Wynn, who had probably been the only gay kid in their old _**entire**_ school (because they didn't count Billy MacCullen, he was just a jerk), suddenly had his pick of six gorgeous guys.

_Why __**wouldn't**__ he rather be with one of them? _He wondered miserably.

And Wynn still wasn't answering his question.

"Is there… I mean… you know… something you want to… to talk about?" he asked tentatively.

"Not really."

"You know… in just a few years… I mean… university…" he stammered when Wynn looked at him again, his eyes piercing through him. "I was just thinking… you know, how uni will really be this chance to start over, to be anybody," he floundered. University wasn't that far off. Neither of their grades were that dismal…

"Yeah. I guess," was all he said. Kae didn't hear the disappointment in his voice, didn't understand how badly his comment had been misconstrued. He only saw that the smile Wynn flashed in his direction was totally forced. "We should probably get back before they start to worry," he got to his feet, tugging Kae with him.

"Wynn, I…" _I love you… _but he couldn't get the words to come out. "I'm glad you're here. I know… I mean… camping isn't exactly your thing."

He just shrugged again. "Better this than another weekend spent doing chores," he flashed another smile. It looked as strained as the first one.

"We… don't have to rush back," Kae said then, impulsively. "I mean… when lunch is ready they'll call," and no way they'd wandered far enough not to hear Jack's bellow.

Wynn gave over a sly little look. "What'd you have in mind?"

"I just… I mean, you know, we're sort of alone," he moved closer, covered Wynn's mouth with his, determined that even if he was right, if Wynn was thinking about whether or not he still wanted to be his boyfriend, he was going to enjoy every second he had left with him…


	118. Back to Nature pt 2

**A/N:**

Fair warning: teenaged smut ahead. Nothing too explicit, but reading between the lines isn't necessary, either ;-)

And as always, HUGE thank you's to everyone who has continued to read and enjoy and share your comments. I really appreciate them. Now, however, I think I'm going to go hide for the rest of the day; we're letting my 13 year old have a couple of friends stay over night, and well... teenaged girls are nearly as frightening as Weevils when you get three of them together... in fact, I think I might prefer the Weevils....

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Eighteen**

**Back to Nature (pt 2)**

_"It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness.  
__We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace." _

_  
_— Chuck Palahniuk

* * *

_**13 May, 2011**_

.

"Oh God, Kae…" Wynn breathed out the other's name, "God… you're so good at that…" he ran his fingers through the Kae's blond hair, encouraging him, forcing himself to just stand still, lean against the tree behind him, forcing himself not to push…not to thrust himself further into his mouth… to just let Kae take him however he wanted to. To let _him_ set the pace.

He remembered the first time they'd done this, in Kae's grandmother's garage… they'd started out just looking for a place to be alone, just to… to be together, to talk a little. Then they started making out. He loved kissing Kae. He loved kissing him so much… but with both of their bodies straining for more… He just wished… he would have liked their first time to be somewhere nicer. Someplace special. Somewhere more comfortable than sitting in the dark on an old work bench, praying that nobody came to check on them, surrounded by the smell of unused tools and old wood. Kae hadn't complained, though. And he never would have admitted it (he still wouldn't, not out loud), but Wynn was just as nervous as he knew his… _boyfriend… _was that first time. He glanced down at the other boy; Kae met his gaze. Held it a moment, then went back to doing what he was doing. _Boyfriend_. The word resounded around in Wynn's head and made him feel light enough to walk on air.

Kae had been nervous their first time because he he'd never done anything more than kiss a girl before… but he hadn't hesitated to touch him, to rub him through his jeans, to unzip the fly… touch his skin… take him into his mouth… Kae said he wanted to go down on him first, because he didn't want him to ever think he was going to use him the way Billy had. It wasn't going to be one sided and he wanted to prove that, right from the start.

When it was his turn, Wynn was nervous because he wanted it to be perfect—but at the same time, he didn't want Kae to think he was a slut, that he'd gone down on so many other guys and all kinds of experience, even though he was (in his own opinion) and he did. He wanted Kae to like him, to…

He groaned out Kae's name as he came and smiled when he felt him swallow… when he kept going… Kae always kept going. Even the first time, he hadn't rushed to spit it out or… or anything. He continued to kiss him, to caress him… to make him feel so good. _Loved… _he knew it wasn't really love, it was just sex—and not even sex, not really—but the way he acted, the way he touched him, looked at him…

When Wynn had asked him if he was ok, after that first time (and the next few times as well because he _seemed_ ok, but Wynn needed to be certain, he didn't want him to freak out, to run away. To hate him. He'd been absolutely terrified after those first few that Kae would never speak to him again, that he would look at him like he was some kind of pervert because of what they'd done.) But every time he asked, Kae said he was ok. He called him the next day. He wanted to see him again. They were still friends.

Boyfriends.

(Wynn didn't know how much clandestine reading Kae had done on the Internet on the subject of blow jobs, because he was desperate to figure out what to do, how to do it right, how to make Wynn happy, when they finally got to that point… a whole three weeks into their new relationship. For his part, Kae never would have admitted it, either. He'd never even had one before, he'd never gotten further than kissing.)

Wynn didn't hesitate to kiss him when he finally stood back up, kissing his way back to his mouth… Kae always kissed him all over, even through his clothes, both before and after he'd gotten off. None of the guys _he'd_ ever gone down on had wanted to kiss him _anywhere_ afterwards, especially not on the mouth; that always hurt Wynn. It felt like he he was good enough to suck them off, but not good enough to kiss, at least not after they'd gotten what they wanted. Billy had never kissed him at all, but other guys had, at least until they got off. Then they just wanted him to go away. He never wanted Kae feel like that, so he kissed him long and hard, holding him tight against his body before turning them so Kae was the one pinned up against the tree… he could feel how hard he was…

"Kae! Wynn!" Jack's voice echoed through the woods. "Lunch! Come and get it while it's hot!"

"Damn," Wynn swore under his breath.

"It's ok…" Kae started to pull away. "We can take another walk later," he promised when Wynn tried to pull him back.

"I don't want to leave you like that," he glanced down at the bulge in Kae's pants, as if the other didn't know what he was talking about. Not only didn't he want to leave Kae like that, but… well, it was pretty obvious how hard he was… what would Kae's uncle think? Or his partner? (Although he'd heard them 'discussing' the merits of letting him and Kae share a cot. It seemed as if Jack and Ianto had a difference of opinion when it came to the morality of teenaged sex, not that he thought they really knew for sure but they had to figure… even though Wynn didn't really consider it sex, not really. They hadn't gone all the way, not yet.)

"Kae!" Ianto's voice joined his partner's. He sounded just a little worried.

"Wynn!" Jack' bellowed.

"Yeah!" he hollered back. "We'll be right there!" He promised. He could see them now, starting to walk into the woods, towards where they were standing, although they weren't close enough to really see what they were doing… he hoped. He wasn't sure exactly what Kae's uncle would do if he figured out they were… he was… he was sure he'd be blamed for what they were doing and he knew how much was riding on them continuing to like him. Jack had gotten him into Molly's house; he could get him kicked out, too, he was sure.

But he didn't want to leave Kae hurting…

"I'm fine," the other insisted. "Just as long as you promise me…"

Wynn didn't realize he was only teasing. He looked at him, wondering how he could even think he wouldn't… it hurt. If Kae loved him at all, he would know…

"What's wrong?" Kae asked him.

"Nothing. Come on. You're right. We should go before…" before they got caught.

"Hey…" Kae tugged at his hand and drew him into another one of those kisses that went all through his body. By the time they got back, they were both pitching wood… thankfully, nobody said anything about it, even though he was sure everybody knew.

After lunch (and cleaning up the dishes from their meal), Jack suggested a 'little walk'. His husband groaned and said he'd stay behind to keep an eye on the camp… no one but Jack understood the look his Welshman gave him; no one knew the story of a stolen SUV and cannibals. If they had, they might have understood the wry grin Jack flashed at him as the rest of them headed off into the woods; both Jack and Shane were wearing backpacks and carrying fishing poles and everyone had a canteen of water. Jack had given them a not so brief lecture on the importance of always having fresh water when going hiking through the woods.

The Captain led the way up the same trail Kae and Wynn had taken earlier, but when they came to the log the boys had used as a bench, he climbed over and kept going… and going… and going.

It felt like they'd been walking for miles—or at least Wynn thought it felt like miles… jillions of miles. But when he looked over at Kae, he hardly seemed winded at all. Just the same, nobody objected when Jack called them to halt shortly after they'd exited the woods, coming into a wide open clearing. There was a stream… or maybe a river… running through it.

Wynn grimaced when he realized what the fishing poles were for. Jack's broad grin only made it worse. "All we need now is some bait," he grinned at the muddy river bank.

"It's really not that bad," Kae tried to tell him. "And there's nothing as good as fresh caught fish."

Wynn forced a smile; the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint Kae…upset Jack. He only prayed that nobody decided to teach him how to clean that fresh-caught fish. He was sure he would throw up if he had to cut up a wriggling slimy fish.

"Why don't you men see if you can dig us up some worms," the older man's suggestion was, thankfully, directed at Jason and Steven (who were utterly delighted at the prospect of being encouraged to dig in the mud near the riverbank.)

"Not too close to the water, yeah?" Shane cautioned the boys. "This time of year it's gonna be pretty cold. Wouldn' want t' get yourselves soaked," he explained.

Steven and Jason nodded, and dug into the mud with gusto, trying (with marginal success) not to get too wet in their quest for bait.

"I'm going to scout up the river, see if there's a better spot to cast from," said Jack, then. "Maybe you'd better start a fire, in case we need it," he told Shane with a wink, glancing at the boys.

"Good idea."

Kae offered to help him dig the fire pit.

Not knowing what else to do, Wynn said he'd go and see if he could find some dry branches and stuff... he'd never felt so out of his element. Even Kae knew more about camping than he did. Trekking through the underbrush by himself, gathering what he hoped were good branches for a fire only reinforced how alone he felt sometime. He glanced over his shoulder when he heard Shane and Kae laughing at something. He knew they weren't laughing at him or anything (it looked like they were laughing at something Jason and Steven had said or done), but still, he couldn't help wondering what he was really doing there, why they'd invited him. (Not that he hadn't jumped at the chance to get to spend time with Kae. He would have gone backpacking across Siberia if Kae was going to be there, too.)

But he didn't know why they'd included him. Jason was Jack's son and Steven was his nephew or something (Alice wasn't his sister, Kae didn't know how they were related, exactly, but they must be). Shane was probably some kind of cousin; Kae was Ianto's nephew. But he wasn't anybody, not to anyone. He wasn't even somebody to his own parents!

He written them a letter, just to say he was ok, albeit he'd _only_ done it because Molly told him he ought to. He understood what it _really_ meant when somebody in charge of your life made a 'suggestion'.

The letter was returned less than a week later, unopened. Molly didn't press the issue further. For Wynn, having it come back like that only reinforced something he already knew: if it weren't for Jack, he wouldn't have a place to live at all, and for all his bravado, he'd been scared out of his mind at the prospect of living on the streets, of what he knew he'd have to do to make enough money just to eat or get a place to crash… but what else could he do? If it hadn't been for Kae asking his uncle to help him…

"Want a hand?" Kae's voice cut through his thoughts. He hadn't heard him come up behind him.

"Yeah, sure," he tried to smile. Whenever he looked at Kae, thought about him… _I love you so much… _so much it ached, deep inside. But he never wanted it to stop. He knew how stupid it was, but before before this afternoon, before Kae had told him what was really going to happen in a few years, he'd started thinking that he really might go to university after all. His grades were pretty bad, but he could fix that. If they both went away together... maybe room together… _be_ together… and afterwards, they could get jobs, rent a flat…have a life... he knew it was dumb.

Kae gave him that look again, like he was wondering what he was thinking. Wynn turned away quickly, hoping he wouldn't ask. He hated it when he had to lie, tell him he wasn't thinking about anything at all…but it wasn't like he could say what he was really thinking. _How much I'd like to spend the rest of my life with my best friend… _He knew it was going to end (probably long before they got to university). The best he could hope for was that Kae wouldn't hate him for what had been the best five months of his life.

"How much wood and stuff do you think we need?"

"That's probably pretty good. Jack brought back a couple of bigger pieces back, too. He found a good spot just a little ways up the river," he added, taking half the pile from Wynn's arms. He was so close…

Wynn couldn't help himself. He leant in… Kae met his kiss. Returned it. _I love you,_ he thought at his best friend again, wishing he had the courage to say it aloud—wishing that Kae felt the same way.

But Kae was right, when they got to university, they would be starting over brand new, and the last thing he was going to want for his 'fresh start' was his old boyfriend hanging around his neck dragging him down, reminding him of the life he'd finally gotten out of. Besides, in university there were going to be _so _many other guys… or… girls... he might go back to girls… But for just right now, things were good. Really, really good and he didn't want to mess that up by telling Kae something he knew he didn't want to hear anyway, so he kept it to himself and every time Kae asked, he insisted that he wasn't thinking anything at all.


	119. Back to Nature pt 3

**A/N:**

Well... I survived the Night of the Giggling Teenagers and woke up with enough peace and quiet to write (owed mostly to the girls being crashed out from sugar highs.)

There's more teenaged smut in t h i s o n e , this time not nearly so innocent, I'm a f r a i d (nothing too graphic, description wise ) .

Thank you so much for the wonderful responses, the typo corrections and other notes :-) I appreciate everybody who has continued to read this (and my other stories!)

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Nineteen**

**Back to Nature (pt 3)**

_Sometimes we make love with our eyes.  
Sometimes we make love with our hands.  
Sometimes we make love with our bodies.  
Always we make love with our hearts. _

~Author Unknown

* * *

_**13 May, 2011**_

"I'm telling you, it was this big!" Jack spread his arms wide… his partner was more than grateful he wasn't telling his usual 'the one the got away' story… usually when something kept increasing in size in one of Jack's outlandish tales, it _wasn't _a fish.

The boys nearly fell over laughing at him—Shane, too. Even Wynn and Kae were snickering, snuggled up together under a blanket in front of the campfire, drinking hot chocolate. It was late—Jack and the others had stayed out fishing most of the afternoon, and then after supper, he'd had the boys gather sticks so they could roast marshmallows while he told stories.

The fishing trip had been a success—although several members of the party had come back soaking wet and covered in mud. Apparently certain some of them had had better luck than others… but as far as he could tell, Kae didn't mind that he'd had to pull his boyfriend out of the river. Twice. Or that Wynn hadn't caught anything, despite the fact both of the times he'd gotten drenched it was because he'd gotten a nibble on his line. The fish, it seemed, had won each time. Both boys seemed to be enjoying themselves, though.

And for his part, the young Welshman was just grateful his partner had decided to gut their haul _before_ coming back to camp. He doubted he would have been able to _not _think about fish of the two-footed variety if he'd brought their catch back and then cleaned them. (He had no idea how glad Wynn was that Jack and Shane had done the gross stuff, beheading and gutting the fish before wrapping them up to bring back to camp. Fishing itself had been bad enough—except for the way Kae held him, his arms wrapped around his shoulders, and showed him how to cast…how he came to his rescue every time he slipped and fell into the water…)

"Tell us another story Uncle Jack!" Steven begged.

"I have a better idea," he told them. "Ianto, you want to do me a favour and get the telescope from our gear?" he asked.

The younger man smiled; he knew the one Jack meant. He got up without a word to go and retrieve the antique brass spyglass he'd given Jack, his very first birthday present to him. He'd seen it in with their things earlier; somewhere along the line, Jack had procured a proper carrying case for it.

"We've got a great view of Jupiter and Saturn tonight," Jack went on, pointing at a pair of bright stars in the sky as he did. Jason and Steven were already bouncing.

"You mean those are really planets?" Shane asked, curiously.

Jack chuckled, shook his head. "Yes. I've got something really special lined up for tomorrow night," he said as his partner returned with the spyglass, "but for tonight, we're going to have to make do with this."

Kae drained his cup, but instead of getting up, he wrapped both his arms around Wynn's shoulders while the boys crowded around Jack, each vying for the first look through the little brass telescope. Wynn settled against him; he closed his eyes… he couldn't help thinking how much he loved him… how much it hurt. All week he'd been thinking that this weekend would be the right time to tell Kae…

"You ok?" he asked him.

Wynn forced smile. "Yeah. Just a little tired, I guess."

"You want to go to bed?"

"Yeah… you stay," he said when Kae started to get up too. Kae didn't look tired, and he didn't want to ruin his night just because he was feeling down. He glanced over at Ianto, who was looking at him. "I'm heading off to bed," he explained.

"Sure you don't want to stay up a while longer?" Jack said, before his husband got a chance to respond.

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired. Thanks though. For having me along, I mean," he told him. He glanced down at Kae... told himself again that for just right now things were absolutely perfect and he was not going to mess that up. He just needed to get some sleep. He'd feel better in the morning. Besides, uni was a long way off… at least three years. Kae could change his mind in three years, couldn't he? Maybe if he just played it cool, if things stayed good, maybe… maybe Kae would want the same things he did… maybe.

"All right, then," said Ianto, staving off further objection from the Captain, or anybody else, for that matter. "Good night."

"Good night," Wynn echoed back at him and ambled off towards his tent.

The tent (both tents) were divided into two rooms with a zippered flap between them. They'd decided earlier in the day that he and Kae would take the back room. His bag was sitting next to Kae's in the corner; it was new. Jack had given it to him when he invited him camping with them, said he needed something to carry his gear in. It was just a duffle bag, nothing special…but it was new, not some cast off or hand-me-down. He reminded himself again just how much he owed these people… promised himself that tomorrow he would be in a better mood. He would forget all about university and just… just enjoy the weekend for what it was.

He would stop dwelling on things that didn't matter any more, anyway…

'_How old RU?'… the words flashed across the private chat box on the computer screen._

_Wynn's palms were sweaty as he typed back '17.' He was really fourteen. He only hoped… he knew from his profile that the guy he was chatting to, Jerome (he didn't know his last name), was 19 and a student at Cardiff University, but… _

'_That's kewl.' _

_He let out the breath he'd been holding and kept typing, trying to sound like a seventeen year old. Within in half an hour Jerome had asked him if he wanted to hook up. Nervously, Wynn agreed… thankfully, it was summertime, so he didn't have to figure out how to get to Cardiff._

_It was all he could do not to tell anybody… Kae. Bekka. He wasn't sure they'd understand. He'd tried to tell Kae… he was pretty sure he'd figured it out, at least part of it. There was no way his best friend knew he fancied him. If he did, they wouldn't be best friends any more._

_On the day of his date with Jerome, Wynn dressed carefully… jeans that hugged his body just right… a shirt he thought looked especially good on him… he didn't have a whole lot of nice clothes, his family wasn't exactly well off or anything. But he managed to pick out the best stuff he had and scrape up the money he'd need for the bus. Even though his parents never gave him money (his tad always went on about rich men and needles and camels and junk, when he asked for something) he'd managed to earn a little of his own cash doing a few odd chores for neighbours… or maybe they just felt sorry for him. He didn't care about that, then, however. He was way too excited about his date. It was his very first date, ever!_

_It took two hours and four bus transfers to get to Jerome's place. He was a little surprised that Jerome had invited him to his flat instead of asking him to meet somewhere, but that was ok. I meant he trusted him… it meant… it meant that one date might lead to another and… it was only summer, but already his mind had begun to spin forward towards the fall, sitting around a bonfire with his own boyfriend… Christmas… New Years… he'd tackle how to introduce Jerome to his friends, later—how to get them to play along, pretend that he was really seventeen…Bekka would go along with it, but Kae? He'd be harder to convince. _Later,_ Wynn told himself. After all, he hadn't even gotten through the first date, yet!_ _But he just knew it was going to be great._

_His stomach was doing flip flops so bad he was sure he was going to throw up as he mounted the steps towards number seven… lucky seven, he thought, a little giddily… and rang the bell. _

_Jerome__looked exactly like the picture on his profile. He was tall, dark skinned, he had a great body, nearly bald head (he shaved it, it was obvious)… "Hi," Wynn said, not realizing he'd spent half a heart beat too long gaping; he hoped he didn't sound totally lame._

_Jerome just smiled and opened the door further to let him into his flat. "You want a beer?" he asked._

_Wynn decided not to comment that it was only barely three o'clock in the afternoon. Adults drank anytime they wanted to (unless they were his parents, who never drank). Even though he was only supposed to be seventeen, he reckoned that was close enough to being an adult to accept (it was what any seventeen year old would do, right?) _

_When Jerome sat on the sofa, Wynn sat next to him and they watched a little telly while he nursed his beer (it was awful, but he didn't want to seem act like a little kid about it so he drank it anyway). Then he found Jerome's arm around his shoulders… his lips on his… ten minutes later, the other's hands were down his pants, groping… jerking him off. Wynn had never, ever had an orgasm that wasn't self-induced before! It was so much more exciting when somebody else did it for him… then Jerome invited him to go into the bedroom while he cleaned himself up a little. Wynn wasn't sure what to expect… but it became pretty obvious what the other wanted from him when he came in wearing only his t-shirt. He laid down on the bed without really saying anything, but it wasn't like Wynn needed an invitation, he knew what to do… he hoped. _

_But before Jerome came, he told Wynn he wanted him to roll over so he could have at his ass and he was suddenly glad he'd had the beer because it helped him relax enough to let him do it. He grabbed a pillow and breathed hard into it when he started… nothing had ever hurt so much!_

_Not that Jerome was being especially rough or anything, he wasn't, and Wynn __**had**__ told him he was seventeen _**and**_ that he'd had sex before. During their chat, he'd talked about all the things he liked to do—things he'd never really done, of course, he'd never even kissed anybody before, unless you counted that stupid kiss he'd given Bekka under the mistletoe last Christmas, which totally didn't count, they were just friends and anyway, she was a girl… but he wasn't about to admit that to a nineteen year old (who just __**might**__ become his first real boyfriend) so he'd made up a bunch of stuff, like the stuff he'd read about guys doing to each other in magazines._

_Only in the magazines they never talked about how much it hurt. But that wasn't Jerome's fault. Maybe it was like he'd heard it was with girls, the first time always hurt, he just had to get through it… and besides, he'd __**said **__he liked it up the ass. _

_Besides, it wasn't like Jerome was hurting him on purpose, he was doing it right, he was nineteen! Wynn knew that if it hurt it was his fault, so he told him how good his cock felt inside him; he said he wanted him fuck him harder even though all he really wanted was for him to get off and get out of him._

_When he finally came, Wynn expected him to lie down next to him, to kiss him some more (he was a really hot kisser), to hold him a little and tell him that he was good, too, to tell him how hot he was… instead, he got up. Got dressed. Mentioned he was meeting some friends later and made it clear that he wasn't issuing an invitation for Wynn to join him._

_When Wynn looked at the clock next to the bed, he realized he'd been there less than an hour. Less than half the time it took to get there and… and it was over already. His first date had officially come to an end. He got dressed, doing his best to hide how sore he was… how disappointed… _

_But maybe something had come up at the last minute or something… maybe their next date would go better. So when Jerome invited him to call him again sometime, he said he would… and he did, just a few days later. _

_Wynn suggested that maybe they could go out this time, maybe grab a bit to eat or something (not that he had the money to pay for going out, but he figured he'd figure it out later). And when Jerome answered with 'yeah, sure' he felt so good about himself… but then he got to his place for their second date and it was the same as the first time… __**every **__time was the same as the first time. Eventually Wynn stopped asking about going out. Eventually he stopped calling Jerome all together, although mostly that was because it was getting too hard to come up with the bus fair. _

_It only hurt a little bit that he never phoned or hit him up online to ask why he'd stopped calling… _

"Hey…"

Wynn jumped at the sound of Kae's voice. "Hey. I thought you were staying up…"

He shrugged. "I'm kinda tired too."

_And I owe you a…_ Wynn clamped down on his hurt. Kae was nothing like Jerome, _nothing_ like Billy. Kae was proof that not all guys were the same. "I erm… I've just gotta go… you know…" he glanced in the general direction of the woods.

"Ok," said Kae. He handed him one of the torches.

"Thanks. I'll be right back," he promised. He didn't need to pee, he just needed a little air, a few minutes to pull his head together. He didn't even know why he was even thinking about a jerk like Jerome tonight. He might not have known it when it was happening—after all, that was two years ago when he was just a stupid little kid—but he did know now that Jerome was using him. He didn't want a real boyfriend—or at least he hadn't wanted Wynn to be his boyfriend. Nobody had, no matter how hard he tried to make them like him.

But then suddenly Kae noticed him, noticed him the same way he'd been looking at him for almost three years and more than anything, he didn't want to screw that up. He was his best friend… So what if Kae wanted to start over fresh in three years? Three years was practically forever. He could change his mind… he could decide… Wynn decided not to think about it because Kae could decide that he loved him or he could decide that he wasn't gay at all, that he liked girls, that this was just a phase…

By the time he got back to the tent, Kae had already changed and was tucked up under the sleeping bag. He'd arranged the bedding so that one bag was unzipped under them, another was over top, like a blanket. Wynn felt his mouth going dry… he changed clothes quickly and slid in next to him. He didn't say anything, he just slid his hand down Kae's leg…

"Shane said he'd be in soon," the other stopped him. "We probably shouldn't."

"Yeah. Yeah, ok," he agreed. "Maybe tomorrow?" even though he was feeling a little awkward being in bed with Kae, not knowing what to expect (not that he really expected anything), he still wanted to make things even from this afternoon. "Maybe we can take a walk before breakfast or something…?"

Kae nodded… and… he moved over closer and wrapped his arms around him like he had when they were sitting under the blanket in front of the fire. "I… I'm really glad you're here, Wynn," he whispered at him.

"Me too," he answered, although he could scarcely breathe… Kae was _holding _him. Just like that night at Bekka's, only this time they weren't drunk. Wynn swallowed hard and let himself sag into his arms… it felt so good… so perfect. Kae had to feel it too, he just had to… it wouldn't be fair if he didn't!

"What are you thinking?" he asked him.

Wynn just shrugged. He didn't want to ruin the moment by saying what he was really thinking because life wasn't always fair. "Just enjoying the company, I guess." At least that was better than saying 'nothing'… and it made Kae smile.

"Me too."


	120. What Each New Day Brings…

**A/N:**

**Thank you **so much for the amazing positive response. I have to admit, I'm starting to *really* enjoy watching Kae and Wynn fumble their way thourgh too. :)

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Twenty**

**What Each New Day Brings…**

_"Loving is a feeling that brings both joy and pain to my heart._  
_Joy from being with you, being filled with an emotion so deep and tender that no other feeling can compare._  
_Pain from knowing that I'm so in love that I'm more vulnerable than I've ever been."_

Author Unknown

* * *

_**14 May, 2011**_

Wynn poked at the dying fire with a long, thick branch. The embers burned bright orange… smelled woody. It was early… cold… The air was crisp and the ground was covered in frosty dew that had crunched under the soles of his shoes as he walked from his tent to the fire pit.

He'd been up to watch the sunrise lots of times before. It was his favourite time of day, because if he was the first one up, the world was almost a little bit peaceful. But out there in the woods, it seemed so different from what he was used to. Where he'd lived with his parents wasn't like living in the heart of Cardiff or anything (or with a bunch of other boys), but it wasn't like out here, either. Out here everything was so… _quiet._ The only sounds were the birds welcoming in the new day… a squirrel nosing around the semi-frozen earth.

The sky was the most gorgeous shade of bright, almost neon coral. It was streaked with fiery gold and a dark, smoky purple where the rising sun touched the clouds. Further west, it was still dark… the moon was still up, and a few bright stars (or maybe planets? He didn't know) were still visible at the tops of the trees over his other shoulder.

When he heard movement behind him, he looked up, startled. Ianto and Jack looked just as startled to see him as he was to see them.

"I'll go see about some more wood," Jack's voice easily carried across the otherwise quiet campsite. Wynn didn't hear Ianto's response, just the Captain's raucous laugh. He saw him pull his husband's hand to his body… Ianto laughed too. Then Jack kissed him and headed off into the woods.

The exchange made Wynn blush. It wasn't the groping or the kiss, it was how really obviously in love they were, and how much he envied that, wanted it for himself. It wasn't just that they were men… he'd heard his tad going off on a nut about what an abomination gay 'marriage' was, how pointless it was. Homosexuals, he said, didn't know how to be faithful to God's plan, so how could they possibly be faithful to one another? That was the real reason his tad said you couldn't trust a queer, _faithlessness_, and not just the religious kind. They were nothing but a bunch of shallow back-stabbers. Wynn's own experiences made him wonder if his father was right, at least about part of it. He wouldn't describe any of the guys he'd ever been with as 'faithful'… but… then there was Kae and he'd never been shallow. Of course he might not really be gay, he might just be going through a phase or something… but his uncle and his partner had been together for a few years, hadn't they? They'd adopted a little girl together… they were raising Jack's son together… they were happy.

Wynn envied anybody who knew how to be that happy. That secure in himself (because it was really obvious that Jack and Ianto were both secure in themselves… in each other.)

It was all _he_ wanted. Somebody to love him like that. Somebody he could love without ending up hurt and miserable. _Someone like my best friend…_

Ianto joined him by the fire pit. He put the last of the branches from last night onto the embers and poked at it until they caught. "You're up early," he observed quietly as he settled back to sit next to the teen.

He just shrugged. "Couldn't sleep, I guess."

"It's different sleeping out here," Kae's uncle offered up a kind smile. "So much quieter than the city."

"It's not that… it's…" but he didn't finish his sentence. It was everything going through his head, because when he'd woken up, Kae was still holding onto him, just like the morning after Bekka's party and it had felt _so _good… and he was so scared because he wasn't sure he could go through the next three years just playing it cool, hoping that Kae would change his mind. He couldn't just enjoy today for its own sake. He wanted tomorrow and the next day and the next and… and maybe it was stupid, but he would give his whole life to Kae, if Kae would only let him.

Ianto gave over a speculative look; it was almost the same look Kae gave him sometimes. "If there's something you want to talk about…?" he invited him.

Wynn looked into the fire. Ianto was Kae's uncle, he couldn't possibly tell him how much he loved Kae. He couldn't tell him… Hell, he probably already knew it wasn't really serious. Maybe it was even his idea for Kae to think beyond today and tomorrow, to think about university and whether or not he wanted to hang onto his old boyfriend once he got out into the real world.

"Wynn… if there's something bothering you… I know how hard things can seem at your age. I almost ended up in the same place you are when I came out to my parents."

"How? I mean… your mam…" his mother was totally cool!

Ianto smiled; it wasn't at all unkind. "They didn't actually chuck me out, I ran off because of the things they said to me. How I should 'straighten' myself out, how no son of theirs was going to embarrass them by being gay, even though what I really was, was confused because having feelings for boys and girls at the same time. All I'd wanted was for them to tell me they still loved me, to tell me we'd sort it out together the way we always did—but they didn't know how to do that."

"What happened?"

"I met somebody who understood what it was like to be different from everybody else. I never reconciled with my step father—he died before we got the chance, although that might have been my fault. I didn't speak to either of them for several years. I regret that, not giving him the chance to accept me. Not giving my mam the chance sooner."

"I don't think my parents will ever change their minds about me."

"Maybe not. But you'll always have friends, Wynn. People who care about you."

He nodded. Then, hesitantly, he asked if he could ask Ianto a question. "It… it's sort of personal, I guess," he added. He couldn't ask him about Kae—not that he even knew what to ask. But there were other things bothering him, stuff Bekka said maybe he could talk to Kae's uncle or his partner because they would probably know and she was totally clueless, which was only fair, she was a girl. There were just some things she wouldn't have any way of knowing anything about… or she might have done, but she'd never had any kind of sex. He was the first of the three of them to lose his virginity.

"You can ask," Ianto told him in a cautious sounding tone.

He nodded. He could ask. The other wouldn't necessarily answer. But at least he was being honest about it up front. Wynn appreciated that. Most adults weren't very honest. Now he just had to figure out how to say it… how to ask what he wanted to know, because him and Kae had talked about going further…sexually… only Kae insisted that when they did, he wanted give _and_ take and Wynn wasn't sure he wanted to do that to him, he didn't want to hurt him… he felt heat overtaking his cheeks. He knew he'd been sitting there silently for too long so he forced the words out. "Is… is it supposed to hurt?"

Ianto blinked, clearly caught off guard. "Is…_what_… supposed to hurt?" his tone gave the impression, however, that he knew exactly what Wynn was really asking.

He felt his cheeks get hotter. "I'm not talking about me and Kae!" he yelped, hoping he hadn't just made a huge mistake... but who else did he have to ask? The boys he lived with? Why would they tell him the truth? He didn't even know why he thought Ianto would but… but he thought about him and Jack again and how great they seemed together. He swallowed hard, but the lump in his throat wouldn't go down—and clearly Ianto was waiting for further explanation. "We never had… I mean… not like that… we haven't gone all the way," he managed to spit out. There was no way he could say they'd never had any kind of sex, even though he wanted to. He knew Kae's uncle would see right through him if he lied and if Ianto was being honest with him, the least he could do was return the courtesy. Besides, he already owed him and Jack everything.

The Welshman nodded, very slowly. "All right," he said, his tone as slow and even as his nod. "But I take it you have had sex." It wasn't a question. His voice sounded cold and hard.

"I'm sixteen," Wynn tried to defend himself.

"Yes," he agreed. "You are." His tone remained chilly. He took several breaths… let them out. He seemed to be trying to decide how to react… Wynn was about to make his escape when finally he spoke, his voice staying him where he was. "I'm just going to come out and ask," he said, either not noticing Wynn's fast downward spiral or not caring about it (or simply needing ask what he wanted to know and get on with it, although Wynn didn't know how to consider that possibility). "Did you use a condom?"

The teen's faced reddened all the more. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to have with his boyfriend's uncle!

"Wynn. This is important. For you as well as Kae."

He was shaking. He wanted to run away, but… "Only once. I mean only once I didn't, not only once that I did… I mean… not once exactly."

"What exactly do you mean?"

"The first guy… he… the first time he just… he said to roll over, he wanted… you know… and so I did because… because… you know… he… he wanted me to and I just wanted him to like me. I… I didn't think about it. A rubber, I mean. He didn't… I mean… he didn't use one. After… after a couple more times, I guess, I asked him about using one because I'm not stupid, I know about HIV and stuff, but he said he didn't like the way they felt and anyway, we'd already done it, so what was the harm, right? He said he was clean, it was ok."

Ianto grimaced. The 'harm' was obvious, even to Wynn. He had no idea who else Jerome was shagging; he didn't even know if he was telling him the truth about being clean.

"I swear, I made every guy I was with after him wear one," Wynn insisted dismally. He knew that look, knew what Ianto must think of him.

But, "What about you?" was all he said.

He blinked, what _about_ him… but then he understood. "I.. that is… I'm not… you know… I've never been 'the guy'."

"Wynn. In a relationship with two males, you're both 'guys'."

"That's not what…" but he didn't want to argue even thought that wasn't what Jerome said. It wasn't what Billy said. It wasn't what a lot of guys said. "I… I'm sorry, I just thought… you know…" but Kae wanted to give and take. He didn't want… he wanted everything to be fair, equal. Wynn didn't understand why he couldn't just let him do what he'd always done… Ianto was talking:

"How you sort yourselves out… whatever decisions you and your partner make about whose going to do what, are fine, just as long as they're _mutual _decisions, Wynn. _And_ as long as you're always safe. HIV isn't the only disease out there."

"I know. I got tested. Bekka made me when she found out about me and Jerome. She totally freaked on me, when I told her."

"Good for her. How long ago?"

"Last year. She made me go back again, six months ago. I'm totally clean, I swear, I'd never hurt Kae… or… or anybody. I know it was kinda dumb," he admitted.

"It was more than kind of dumb. It was monumentally _stupid_."

Wynn swallowed hard. He was sure Ianto hated him… maybe he was right to. "I… I know. I mean… I know I was stupid… but I was only fourteen!" he pleaded because he didn't want Kae's uncle to hate him, to tell Kae to break up with him. "I swear, every time after that I made the guy…the other guy… wear one. I've never done it bareback since, and I won't, I promise. I _know_ it's dumb."

"All right," the hand he placed on Wynn's shoulder surprised the teen. "You got lucky, Wynn. I hope you realize how lucky."

He nodded, but said nothing. He turned back to the fire, oblivious to the moisture trickling down his cheeks. He'd never felt so ashamed of anything before, even what he'd done with Jerome… Bekka was the only other person he'd ever told about it. Somehow telling Ianto made him feel even dumber…stupider… than before. Kae didn't deserve to get stuck with somebody like him…

"Sex isn't supposed to hurt, Wynn," Ianto's voice cut through the thick cloud of his thoughts.

He didn't respond. He didn't care about that any more.

"Wynn, look at me."

Reluctantly, he did. He realized he was crying… he wiped his cheeks with the palms of his hands, praying Ianto hadn't noticed. It was really stupid, but he didn't want to add cry-baby to the things he was ashamed of being.

"Sex is… it's supposed to feel good, for _both_ parties, Wynn. If it hurts, it means somebody's doing something wrong."

He shrugged. He knew he'd done it wrong…

"If it hurts and you're on the bottom, it means your partner is the one doing it wrong," he told him, seeming to understand exactly what he was thinking. "The _only _thing you did wrong was to not tell him. It wasn't your fault that it hurt. It was his."

He blinked away more tears. "I always thought… I mean… I read about how it's supposed to feel really great and stuff but…but it hurt like Hell. I thought… I mean the first time I was so scared I thought it was just me… but then… every time… I just figured it was all bollocks… people write whatever they want to all the time, right? It doesn't have to be true."

"I don't know what you've been reading," the Welshman's tone was steady. Calm. Kind. "But it should never, _ever _hurt."

He didn't believe him.

"Look… sometimes… all right, sometimes it's a little uncomfortable at first, for just a few seconds," he admitted. "But your partner should ease you through that, he shouldn't rush you or just pound into you—you can really hurt somebody doing that." (Wynn had no idea how difficult it was for Ianto to maintain his trademark unflappable composure. He knew all too well that he was giving sexual advice to his nephew's boyfriend, advice that was very likely to be put into practice with Kae… Kae who was all of fifteen… but he forced a tight lipped smile and went on because whatever the Hell Wynn had been reading, it was indeed bollocks.) "If anybody ever hurts you like that again, you've got to tell him because he might not realize it." (Although how someone could **_not _**notice was beyond the Welshman.)

"What if he doesn't stop?"

"Then you get out of there as fast as you can and never go back. Wynn, if someone cares about you, they _won't _hurt you, not on purpose. They'll stop the moment they realize you're not enjoying yourself. Sex is… it's about showing someone how you feel about them. Think about it. If you love someone, do you want to hurt them?"

He looked away again. The reason he _didn't_ want to be on top with Kae was because he loved him, he didn't want to hurt him…

Ianto gave his shoulder another gentle squeeze, "Listen to me, whatever happened, you were only fourteen. It wasn't your fault. It might have been stupid, but it really wasn't your fault that some idiot used you. Hurt you."

"I chatted him up online… I went to his flat…"

"How old was he?"

"Nineteen—I told him I was seventeen, he didn't know I was just a kid!"

Clearly, he didn't believe him. "If he was nineteen, that's all the more reason that you're not to blame. You might have been a kid, but he wasn't. He knew better, Wynn." (There was no doubt in his mind that this charmer of a first boyfriend bloody well knew Wynn wasn't seventeen.)

He just shrugged. "It was a long time ago. I'm over it," he lied. He had thought that he was, but last night… last night it had hit him out of nowhere and he didn't know why.

Ianto just nodded, seeming to accept what he said regardless of what he really might have felt. "When we get back home, I've got some books at the house you can read," he told him.

"Books?"

"About sex…sexuality. I know you've gotten some bad advice from whatever you read before, but… listen to me, ok? Jack was the first man I was ever with," he told the boy. "I didn't know what I was doing… although he was a very patient teacher," he didn't seem to be able to hide the wistful little smile that played across his lips… he cleared his throat. "Early on I picked up a few books because I always felt like there was more I wanted to know. It was… I was a little embarrassed by how little I knew," he admitted.

"Did he… I mean…" he turned red.

Ianto just smiled. "Yes. Jack has more experience than I do. A lot of that just comes from being older than me." He managed not to smirk. "Just don't tell him I said that. He's a bit vain about his age."

Wynn managed to smile, just a little. "Did reading books help?" he asked.

"Yes. It really did. It still took a while for me not to feel intimidated by my lack of experience, but that had to do with me, not with anything Jack ever did or said. He was never anything but kind. But I guess maybe I got lucky in that respect, too. A lot of men wouldn't have been as patient as he was."

He nodded. None of the guys he'd been with were patient… they just… just took what they wanted because he was willing to give it to them. He let them, it was his fault… wasn't it?

"Wynn, if you ever want to talk or if you have any questions, you can always ask me. I promise, whatever you say… I won't tell anybody, not even Kae."

He swallowed hard; Kae was his nephew, he wasn't anybody!

"Everyone needs somebody to talk to."

He nodded again. He supposed… it was hard not to trust Ianto after everything him and his partner had already done for him. "Was it easier dating women?" he asked.

"Not especially. People are people," he answered the unasked question, the curious look on the other's face. "Dating men isn't any harder or any easier than dating women… although dating Jack…" he shrugged. Smiled. "I'm assuming you've met my husband."

Despite the rocks in the pit of his stomach , Wynn chuckled (he wasn't used to just being able to talk to somebody, at least not somebody so much older than him). "He is kind of…" but he didn't really know how to finish it. Jack was loud, a little bit obnoxious, more than a little perverted, but he was funny about it, not creepy or anything. He was also intelligent, kind… he seemed to honestly care about other people… _about me…_ why did either of them care about him?

"Yeah," Ianto agreed. "He's pretty hard to label."

Wynn studied the crackling flames for a while longer. He'd never really been comfortable talking to anyone about sex... sexuality (except for Bekka and maybe Kae, but lately that had changed, he didn't know how to talk to Kae any more) but somehow Kae's uncle had become easy to talk to. He didn't know why, exactly. He was an adult... but he wasn't like other adults.

Finally, he asked if he could ask one more thing. "It's about you and Jack, I guess. Not… I mean, it's not personal or anything, it's just that you seem really happy. How do you… how did you get that way?"

"We were friends first," he told him the truth (or at least part of it). "When my girlfriend died, he was there for me. He helped me put my life back together. I suppose it just grew out of that. He drives me a bit mad at times," he added. "I'm pretty sure I return the favour." However, more seriously he said: "The important part is that we _do _love each other. That we _talk _to each other. Being able to communicate is… it's hard," he confessed. "But it's the only way to make a relationship work."

"What if you had something you wanted to say that you didn't think Jack wanted to hear?"

Ianto considered for long enough to worry the teen, even though Wynn didn't really think he was doing it on purpose. "I suppose I'd tell him anyway. Wynn," he said when the other looked away again, "I don't know what you're afraid to say to Kae," he speculated, but seemed to know he was on the right track, "but I do know that pretty much every fight Jack and I have ever had started because of something that got left unsaid, something that was bothering me that I didn't want to nag at him over or something that I thought he already knew—something he assumed I would take for granted because to him it was so obvious. But the thing is that nobody can know what you're thinking unless you tell them. My mam put it best when she reminded me that Jack couldn't read my mind. If I don't tell him what I want, what I need, he doesn't know.

"Most of the time he knows he's done something wrong, but he has no idea what it is or how to fix it. And contrary to what he seems to think, I can't read his mind, either," he added with another little smirk. "There have been plenty of times when I've hurt him without meaning to. If something is bothering you, you have to talk to each other, Wynn. Whatever it is…"

"But… what if… I mean… it's not like…" _it's not like it was going to last forever anyway_. Kae wanted to make university a fresh start, and that was assuming they lasted that long.

"It's up to you what you do," the Welshman said; Jack was tromping back from the woods with an armload of fallen branches. "But one thing I can tell you with absolute certainty is that my nephew is crazy about you—"

Wynn shot him a look of disbelief. Had Kae… but…

"Whatever it is, you're not going to be able to get past it until you talk about it, Wynn—with Kae, not me. You're going to have to give your boyfriend the chance to decide for himself how he feels about whatever's bothering you. Even if… even if it's that you're ready to move on," he speculated.

"I'm not!" he said quickly…maybe too quickly. But it was the last thing he wanted.

"Wynn… you know, Jack and I…nothing we've done, nothing we _will do_ to help you out of the situation you were in has anything to do with you being in a relationship with my nephew. We'll be here for you no matter what, I promise."

He swallowed hard; Ianto's tone was too sincere for him not to believe him, but… "Why?"

"Because we care about you."

He blinked; Ianto seemed to understand. It was too simple an answer. So he explained:

"Jack and I see so much unhappiness at work, so many people we wish we could help but we can't… so many things we have to turn our backs on, walk away from because it's just too late to do anything. When we get the chance to get there before it's too late, even if… even if this isn't exactly what we do, we're not social services or anything… but helping someone like you… it doesn't just feel right, Wynn, it _is _right. Does that make any sense at all?"

"I guess it does…" something in Ianto's expression, however, stopped him from asking exactly what he and Jack did. He wasn't sure it really mattered anyway, all that mattered was that he believed what he said about seeing people hurt. There was enough of that to go around.

"Good."

Jack got up to them; he looked to his each of them, but didn't ask what they'd been talking about, he just added more wood to the fire. It was damp with morning dew and sputtered, smoked, before lighting.

Ianto waved the smoke away from his nose.

"What?" Jack asked.

The younger man just sniggered. "Nothing Cariad," he droned as he started fixing the coffee.

But even Wynn could see the spark of good humour flying between them, the way the looked at each other… he could picture him and Kae… some day… maybe… _it would be nice, though… _"How long will the coffee be?" he asked.

"Probably a while," Ianto told him.

Wynn nodded. "I… should probably… you know, see if I can get Kae up…" heat over took his cheeks the instant the words were out of his mouth and he realized. He hadn't meant it that way, but… Jack's expression wasn't helping any, either.

"I suggest you escape now, with what dignity you have left," Ianto advised him sagely.

He didn't have to tell Wynn twice. The boy fled, while Jack sniggered (despite Ianto's glare.)


	121. What Each New Day Brings pt 2

Thank you again for the wonderful reception to Kae and Wynn's story. They really have taken on something of a life of their own...

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Twenty One**

**What Each New Day Brings (pt 2)**

"_Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life,  
letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark"_

Dan Millman

"_It is difficult for some people to accept that love is a choice.  
This seems to run counter to the generally accepted theory of romantic love  
which expounds that love is inborn and as such requires no more than to accept it."_

Leo F. Buscaglia

* * *

_**14 May, 2011**_

.

Wynn gulped in several big breaths of cold morning air, but his cheeks were still burning. He couldn't _believe _he'd said what he'd just said! It wasn't like he really meant it like _**that**__! _God, he hoped Ianto and Jack both realized that.

All he'd wanted was some polite way to excuse himself so he could go be with Kae… And that scared him, too, because he knew that Ianto was right. If nothing else, he couldn't let everything keep eating at him the way it was, he had to say something to Kae, tell him what was really bothering him, ask him if he really meant… he swallowed hard. Before Ianto had come over to sit with him, he'd decided that if Kae wanted to break up with him in three years, he didn't want to wait that long, he wanted him to get just get it over with—but oh he didn't want to break up! Waking up next to Kae this morning had felt so… so _perfect_. Kae had to feel it too, he just _**had**_ to!

But he _had _told him that his nephew was crazy about him, and if that was _really_ true, then maybe… maybe Kae didn't actually want to break up? _But then why would he say… _Wynn didn't know. He only knew there was only one way to find out. He took one last big breath and stepped into the tent.

Shane was awake and dressed already, sitting on the edge of his cot in the outer room, lacing up sturdy, well-worn hiking boots. "Morning," the Irishman greeted him an amiable smile. "Anybody else up with the sun?" He seemed oblivious to the other's unhappiness or the warmth in his cheeks (or else he maybe he just thought his cheeks were red from being out in the cold.)

"Jack and Ianto got up a few minutes ago," Wynn answered him quickly and ducked into the back room, zipping the flap shut behind him. He sagged with relief to finally be alone again… almost alone.

He looked at the cot; Kae was still asleep.

He couldn't help but smile. It was really unbelievably stupid, he knew it was, but Kae was so cute when he slept—not that he'd seen him sleeping more than a handful of times. He was almost certain, however, that the very first time he'd noticed him—really noticed him—was during Randal Cartwright's twelfth birthday party sleepover.

His parents almost hadn't let him go—he almost hadn't wanted to go, he didn't actually like Randal all that much, he was always a bit of a wanker, even at eleven-going-on-twelve. But as soon as he found out that Kae was going to be there, he begged and pleaded until his mam _finally_ talked his tad into it. _What's the harm…? _she'd asked. He was sure if she'd known what was going to happen, she never would have agreed to his going.

His parents didn't believe in birthday parties—or at least his tad didn't. When he was little, his mam used to sneak him little treats on his birthday, buy him little trinkets… but that hadn't happened in a long, long time. And anyway, it wasn't as if he'd be any _less _gay if he hadn't gone to Randal's party (although if his tad ever found out that that was when he realized he was in love with his best friend, he would probably say that it was proof that birthdays were wicked or something. Everything was wicked according to his tad.) However, as it happened, Wynn had figured long before Randal's party out that he only got certain feelings—the kinds of feelings that made his jeans feel three sizes too small—when he was looking at pictures of hot guys. He just hadn't realized that the hottest guy of all was his very best friend.

He remembered waking up in the middle of the night, in Randal's room, surrounded by a bunch of kids he didn't like (nobody really liked Randal, so he invited whoever he could think of; none of them really liked each other all that much, but hey, it was a night away from home with pizza and cake and getting to stay up late and looking at the dirty magazines that one of the guys had brought… all of them with pictures of _girls_, of course.) But when he looked over to where Kae was supposed to be sleeping, he saw he was awake too and Kae invited him to come under the blanket with him.

_Best mates have to stick together, right? _he had encouraged him with a smile when Wynn hesitated.

Wynn curled up next to him under the same blanket and felt like he'd died and gone to Heaven. They didn't cuddle or anything weird like that, he knew guys weren't supposed to do that, even if they happened to be queer. But laying next to his best friend, having his head on the same pillow… he suddenly understood the world _euphoric _(it had been a spelling word that week, he remembered with another little smile…. He was sitting on the edge of the cot, watching Kae sleep thinking how much he loved him, how much he could just sit there for the rest of his life…how euphoric he felt.)

He hadn't slept much that night at Randal's, he'd lain there watching the other boy sleep, wondering if he felt the same way he did… which of course he didn't, Wynn figured that out when he brought that magazine over to Kae's house to show it to him. He didn't outright say it was disgusting or anything, but Wynn could tell. Kae didn't like guys. Didn't like him. He would probably hate him if he found out he was queer … of course he _**did **_find out (_thank you, Bekka_)… but he didn't hate him over it. They were still best mates.

Then five months ago, Kae changed his mind about boys, he kissed him, and last night they'd slept together for real. Kae wrapped his arms around him and held him tight all night long. He wouldn't really do that if he wanted to break up with him, would he? (Unless he already knew he wanted to be with girls in uni so he could get married and stuff, like everybody else.)

Wynn toed off his shoes and slid back under the sleeping bag they'd used as a blanket. He moved in close and curled his whole body around the other boy, relishing how good it felt to be so close to him. It hurt… there were so many things he was afraid of… but nothing had ever felt so good, either. It didn't make sense; it didn't have to. And even though he was asleep, Kae responded when he put his hand over his, by twining his fingers into Wynn's, making him feel like his heart was going to explode out of his chest, it was beating so hard! _I could stay like this for the rest of my life…_

Kae stirred… rolled over. Smiled at him. God that smile… "Morning."

"Morning," Wynn smiled back. He felt like he was going to melt when Kae feathered a soft kiss to his forehead.

"You smell like smoke," Kae said then; as he said it, he seemed to realize Wynn was wearing a long sleeved sweater. He hadn't slept in it. Like Kae, he'd slept in a t-shirt and sweat pants, he'd just put the shirt on to go outside in.

"I was out by the fire for a while," he explained, praying he wouldn't start blushing all over again. "Jack and your Uncle Ianto are up already. Shane too," he added… Kae shot over a lascivious little smirk. Wynn shook his head. They were alone but… but all he wanted to do was hold onto Kae, to be held by him. To enjoy his company for however long it lasted.

But then Kae eased himself into a sitting position, pulling away from him, making Wynn's heart sink. "What were you doing up so early?" he wanted to know.

Wynn shrugged. "I couldn't sleep, I guess. I went outside and watched the sunrise." He sat up too.

Kae was quiet a moment; his expression was difficult to interpret. "You should have gotten me up," he said finally, "I would have come out with you. We could have watched it together." His tone was a mix of hope…sadness.

Wynn missed it; it hadn't crossed his mind to wake him up. Kae _hated_ morning. (He didn't recognize the hurt look on the other boy's face for what it was, he didn't know how scared—how utterly terrified—Kae was of the way he seemed to be pulling away from him.) To Kae's comment, he merely shrugged again and continued staring past him at the tent wall.

"Wynn…?"

He didn't look at him, but he did respond to the touch of his hand, curled his fingers into Kae's the same way Kae had responded to him, in his sleep. He flashed over a smile, not realizing how thin and wan it looked. Wynn knew Ianto was right, he had to talk to Kae. He even knew what he wanted to say, _I love you, please don't break up with me…_ but he didn't know how to make the words come out. So he said nothing.

"Are you ok?" Kae asked him, after several long, painful moments of silence had passed between them. His voice was shaky.

Wynn just shrugged again—he could tell Kae was expecting more of a response though. He wished he'd stop asking him if he was ok, what was wrong, because what was wrong was that Kae had said he didn't want them to be together in uni—didn't he know how cruel that was? "I guess… I just… I needed to be alone for a while, that's all," that part was true at least, even though being alone hadn't helped any. "I needed to clear my head."

"How come?"

"I just… I'm just trying to sort some stuff, that's all. It's no big deal," he lied.

Kae swallowed hard. "I know there's something wrong, Wynn. I just… if you tell me maybe we can talk about it, yeah?" he asked hopefully.

(Kae had had a long talk with his uncle the day before, while Wynn was sleeping in the backseat on the drive out to London to pick Shane up. Ianto said that if there was a problem, they needed to talk about it, not just let it fester. _But what if the problem is me? I… I think I love him… _Only wasn't it too soon to feel like that? Ianto had smiled and told him again how he'd known almost the moment he laid eyes on Jack that he was going to fall in love with him—he hadn't mentioned the night in a warehouse with a pterodactyl, of course, but he had said again that sometimes you just know, you get this feeling and you can't ignore it because it won't go away. Not that that was any guarantee that the other person would ever feel the same way, even if that person was your boyfriend. _The only way to find out how Wynn feels about you is to tell him how __**you**__ feel about him. _And, yes, that was scary. It hadn't been easy for him to tell Jack, even though they'd been together for almost two years when he finally said it. _But if I hadn't, we might not be together today. He wasn't going to say it first, he was too afraid… he was afraid of a lot of things, Kae. Our relationship was really complicated in the beginning. The only thing I regret is that I didn't say it sooner._ _Life is too short. __**Anything **__could happen tomorrow. You never know when you're going to get another chance to say all the things you want to say to somebody. _Tosh. Owen. The world always seeming to be ending. He hadn't actually said ait like that, but Kae understood, at least part of it. Torchwood. Ianto and Jack were on the frontline all the time. He wasn't, he was just a kid, but… but life _was_ too short.)

And Wynn was staring at him. "I…" _it's nothing… _he started to lie again. But then Kae gave his hands another squeeze and he couldn't lie any more. "Yeah," he forced himself to say. "Yeah, something's wrong," He admitted.

"What is it?" he asked… but Wynn didn't answer. "Did I do something?" his tone was plaintive.

"I… no… maybe… this is hard ok?" he told him. "There's so much I know I have to say, but I just don't know how."

"We're still friends, yeah?" Kae sounded like he really wasn't sure of the answer.

"_Always_. Best friends," he told him. But he hadn't told Kae about Jerome or Billy (at least not until after Bekka's party, after Kae kissed him).

He hadn't told him about any of the guys in between, either. Not that there had really been that many, but there had been enough. He just didn't know how to talk to Kae about guys—he'd thought he was straight! More than that, he knew what Kae would think of him if he told him what he'd done with all those other guys. He'd just wanted them to like him, to be his boyfriend… Kae's uncle was right about how lucky he'd been.

He never thought any of the stuff that had happened before would ever matter… _only now it does, _he thought as he looked at Kae, because now he loved somebody. Really loved him and… he wiped the moister from his cheeks. He knew he should be asking about what Kae had said about university, but… "I've done stuff. With other guys," he said instead, no longer able to look at him. He just stared down at their hands, fingers twined together. He knew there was a very good chance that once Kae found out everything he'd done, he wouldn't want to be with him any more, anyway, so the rest of it, all that stuff about university, wouldn't matter.

"Hey…" Kae tried to coax him into looking at him, but Wynn refused. "I kinda figured that out on my own," he tried to smile—Wynn didn't reciprocate. "Hey… Wynn… it's ok. I mean… you're ok with me not knowing anything. Besides, I knew you'd had a couple of boyfriends."

He shook his head. "I never had any boyfriends."

"But… I thought… you just said…?"

"I said I'd _been with_ other guys, not that I had boyfriends. I… I just… I was _**with**_ them." He only hoped he didn't have to spell it out. He closed his eyes and waited…

Kae was quiet for a long. Long enough to make Wynn really, really scared, especially when Kae freed one of his hands… only instead of pulling away like Wynn expected, he brushed his fingers along his cheek, down along his jaw, slowly, finally nudging his chin up so he was looking at him. "All that matters is you and me, right now," Kae told him softly. "Whatever happened before… I mean… it's not like either of us can change it, right?"

"But what about tomorrow? The next day?" _What about three years from now?_ "Kae, this is the longest I've ever been with anybody. I…" _I love you… _He loved him too much. "I want to stay together."

"Me too."

"But… you said… uni…?"

"What?"

"You said how going away to university was going to change everything," he reminded him. "And I guess… I mean, maybe you're right, maybe it will change stuff and maybe… maybe that's why you don't think you're going to want me any more and maybe… maybe you _shouldn't _want me. Maybe you should go find yourself some girl and…"

"Wynn," he cut him off, "_what_ are you talking about? What makes you think I don't want you, that I _won't_ want you or that… or that I want a girlfriend?"

"You said uni would be this fresh start, this chance to be anybody either of us wants to be. You'll be able to… to forget all about this. Us."

Kae stared at him, perplexed.

"But, see… the thing is…this… you… you make me so happy and I know maybe it's stupid, but I've been in love with you for so long—for three whole years! I never thought… I never expected you to ever want me like I wanted you and… and maybe you don't, maybe it's all just me, but the last five months have been so amazing! And maybe something like this just can't last forever, but… I want it to," once he started, the words tumbled out in a rush and he couldn't stop them. "I love you so much and… and I can't… I can't imagine ever being with anybody else and I'm sorry… oh God, please say something," he begged when he realized Kae was just sitting there, staring at him, gobsmacked. "Please don't hate me for what's been the best five months of my whole entire life."

"I don't hate you. I… I love you."

"You… love me?"

Kae nodded. "I haven't loved you for three years, Wynn, but I love you now. Is… is that good enough…?"

"What about what you said about uni? All that stuff about starting over? I thought… I thought you wanted to break up…"

"No! I'm sorry… I never meant… I just… I thought it would be a chance for _us _to start over, together. I thought maybe we could try to get into the same school. Then when you got all quiet about it I thought… I thought maybe… maybe I was pushing too fast or something, but I… I can't imagine being with anybody else, either, Wynn," he told him. "And maybe that is stupid, I don't know, I really don't. I just know how good you make me feel. It's not about… it's not about being with a guy or a girl it's… it's about being with _you_. I love _**you**_. Just you."

And of course Jack chose that moment to announce that the coffee was ready… later however, there would be time to take a nice long walk in the woods, just the two of them...


	122. What Each New Day Brings pt 3

**A/N:**

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated anything. I've been pecking away about a paragraph at a time at everything I've got going (and suddenly have Kam and Jack in my head again.) But… here's a short fluffy "wrap up" (I think) to this one…

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Twenty Two**

**What Each New Day Brings (pt 3)**

_"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb.  
It isn't something you get. It's something you do.  
It's the way you love your partner every day."_

Barbara De Angelis

_"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are,  
but how you deal with incompatibility."_

Leo Tolstoy

* * *

_**14 May, 2011**_

.

Ianto watched his nephew and Wynn saunter off into the woods after the breakfast dishes had been washed… well, he supposed to be fair, they weren't really sauntering. Or swaggering. Or doing anything at all to suggest that they were taking the kind of walk that would involve very little walking and quite a lot of… he tried very hard not to think about it. He set down his empty coffee cup… it would be easier not to think about it if he didn't hear a sudden adolescent male giggle coming from the direction they'd disappeared off in. (He was just as glad that Shane had taken Steven and Jason off exploring in the opposite direction.)

"Personally," said Jack, taking a seat next to him, in front of the dying fire, "I think they have the right idea. Beautiful day, bright sun… not too cold…maybe you and me should take a walk," he waggled his brows suggestively.

"No. We shouldn't. Somebody has to stay here and mind the campsite. And anyway, they're _kids_, Jack," he added, giving voice to the real reason for his displeasure.

The older man smirked. "I was younger than Kae when I had my first 'serious' girlfriend," his brows rose dramatically on the word 'serioius' as if to emphasise the point—it was a needless gesture. Ianto knew exactly what he meant. "I think I had my first serious boyfriend that same year…"

"Let me guess, you had them together," the Welshman didn't sound amused.

Jack just shrugged.

Ianto sighed and stared into his empty mug. Jack had the last of the coffee in his cup… he supposed he could start another pot, but… "It's just… after the conversation I had with Wynn this morning…" he looked in the direction the boys had gone again. "He's had unprotected sex Jack. He got tested, he's clean—or at least he says he is. I suppose I have to believe him," not that he was above asking Bobby to run his own tests. HIV wasn't the only thing to be thinking about. "How am I not supposed to worry about Kae knowing what I know now?" he asked plaintively.

"I could think of a few things we could do to get your mind off it…"

"I'm serious!"

Jack took a deep breath and let it out. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"Me too."

He shook his head. "Don't be. I guess… when I was Kae's age, things were different. Will be different." He shrugged again and drained his cup. "My mom never worried about stuff like that. She knew… she knew I knew not to get myself into trouble."

"That must've been the only thing she didn't have to worry about with you," he managed to tease, his tone nearly perfectly deadpan.

Jack laughed (it sounded a bit strained, but Ianto didn't comment.) "You're probably right," he told him.

"I am sorry I snapped, Cariad," the other's voice was no longer empty of emotion; it was filled with it. "I know you wanted this weekend to be special."

"It is. You're here." He reached out and took hold of his husband's hand.

Ianto took it; he looked at him quizzically.

"What?" he returned the younger man's perplexed expression with one of his own. It made Ianto smile:

"When did you turn into this person?"

Jack blinked at the sincerity in his tone. "_What_ person?"

His tone made the Welshman smile all the more. "The man who knows exactly what to say to make me feel… to make me feel loved."

Jack smirked and pressed his hand to his lips. "I'd like to think I was always this fabulously charming." His tone was pitched between sultry and 'classic' Jack, the conman who routinely to fooled the universe into thinking he actually believed all the glib little remarks that came out of his own mouth.

Ianto, however, wasn't buying it. "You weren't," he told him with entirely too much earnestness for his husband's comfort. "But I'm glad I waited around for you to turn into him—and just so you know, you're not half as fabulously charming as you think you are," he added with a smirk of his own.

"I'm hurt."

"No you're not," however, before the immortal could argue the point, he said: "I love you, Cariad," and gave his hand a little squeeze.

Jack squeezed back. "I love you too." He started to get up, but Ianto tugged him back to his seat. "I should go find them before they get a chance to get too far," he explained; he wasn't talking about boys meandering too far into the woods.

"Let them go, Jack.

"I thought you didn't want them to…"

"I don't. But they already have." He really didn't want to think about… he cleared his throat. "Wynn gave me his word he would never do anything that stupid again. I have to trust him. I at least have to trust that if he tried it, Kae wouldn't let him."

"He won't."

Ianto's eyes narrowed. "You sound awfully certain of that."

"Your nephew's a smart kid."

"Jack."

"What?"

He simply continued to glare.

It only took three seconds for him to get his partner to crack: "Your nephew came to me a couple of weeks ago and asked for a few pointers, ok?"

Ianto blanched.

"He just wanted to know—"

"Stop."

"But…"

"I said stop. I don't want to hear it. It was hard enough sitting with them through breakfast, trying to pretend that nothing had changed despite the talk I had with Wynn earlier. I don't think I can continue to pretend that everything is fine if you tell me what kind of 'pointers' you gave my nephew."

"He's fifteen, Yan. He's not a little kid any more."

"I don't care. Just… just tell me you gave him good advice," he said, despite his admonishment just a moment before.

"When have you known me to give anyone bad advice?"

Ianto gave him a look.

"Come on—"

"All right. I believe you. Just… just tell me…" he didn't even know what he wanted to know. He didn't want to know anything!

"Relax. I just went over the basics."

All right. The basics. That shouldn't be too bad and after all, Kae had to have somebody he could go to. He certainly couldn't go to Deidre and he was a bit relieved he hadn't come to him. Certainly going to Jack was better than asking Wynn to borrow whatever the Hell he'd been reading… but then he remembered his very first time with Jack… "You didn't happen to bring up stopwatches, did you?"

Jack's smirk told him that he didn't really want the answer…


	123. Bitter and Sweet

**A/N:**

this is just a short one shot to try and get the Muses going again… I'm not sure why I've had such a hard time getting words on the page lately… hopefully this will get things flowing again.

This one is a mix of bitter and sweet (hence the title) with a bit of smut at the beginning.

Thanks again for your continued support!

* * *

**Chapter One Hundred & Twenty Three**

**Bitter and Sweet**

_When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,  
and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. _

~Kahlil Gibran

* * *

Ianto gazed down at the man under him. His eyes were closed… or nearly so. His lips were parted and though the sounds coming out of them were unintelligible, something about them made his heart swell and surge with pleasure. He loved making love to him. He leant in and pressed his lips to his partner's mouth. Jack kissed him back with fervour and held onto him all the tighter.

"I love you, Cariad," Ianto told him.

"I love you, too," the other managed to answer.

The Welshman kissed him again… he wasn't surprised to find that suddenly their positions were reversed and he was under the older man, staring up into those amazing blue eyes of his, while Jack rode him hard towards climax. Two, however could play at that game; Ianto took his erection in hand and began giving as good as he got, causing Jack's expression to completely glaze over. An instant after Jack came, so did he.

"Happy anniversary," Jack said as he leant in to kiss him again, most lightly this time. Ianto didn't miss the pain in his tone… his eyes. It was hard for either of them not to feel selfish… lucky.

They'd been married ten years. Eleven, if one counted the year they'd spent in the fiftieth century to have Seren (which Ianto did count, but it was easier not to count that year for the sake of anniversaries with family, even though by now, they all knew what he and Jack did for a living. Some things were still too much for them to wrap their heads around, even now, at least in the Welshman's opinion.)

Jack eased himself off the younger man and suggested a bath; Ianto couldn't agree more. He followed him into the large marble tiled bathroom and sat down while the older man filled the huge tub with steaming water… a little shampoo to substitue for bubble bath. Ten years… eleven… together for two before that, at least along his personal timeline. Things got a bit trickier where Jack's was concerned but that didn't matter, not at moments like this, moments when it was just the two of them and a tub full of hot water and bubbles.

They were staying in the same hotel where they'd honeymooned, in the same room. The hotel had remodelled some, but there was still that giant bathtub (they could have fit three in the tub, not that Ianto was about to suggest it. This was _their _weekend, he wasn't about to share Jack with anybody; he knew Jack felt the same way. Just the same, he wasn't going to suggest it.) The bed in the other room was extra soft bed with down filled pillows and down comforters… it was the kind of bed you could get lost in. (And in fact they had done just that, for the better part of the last few hours.)

"I still think we should get one of these," Jack remarked as they both stepped into the piping hot water.

Ianto chuckled softly, "I was just thinking the same thing," he answered. A tub like that in their own house, where he could soak in it every night would be heavenly—except, of course, it would take up over half their bathroom. Still, one could daydream…

The older man smiled at him, drew him into another long, warm kiss. Ianto pretended not to notice the way he kept looking at him… his husband wasn't so much admiring his body as taking stock of the scars that he'd accumulated over the last decade. _Ten years…_ there was a time when he'd been certain he wouldn't live to see his and Jack's ten year anniversary. Eleventh. However one really wanted to reckon it.

The only people left from their old team were Wendy, Mickey and Abby; Ianto knew that the losses were starting to take a toll on his husband. Watching the people he loved most in the world die always hurt Jack, but having to tell Gil and Rhys in the same day, just a few weeks ago, that their wives were never coming home again… he pulled in close and let Jack hold him tight.

For the better part of the last six months he'd been holding it together for Jack's sake, being strong for him through Ella's illness and eventual death last year (of entirely natural causes, not that that was any consolation), then the Sontaran invasion that had claimed both Gwen and Sara… and Camille Johnson. Ianto didn't so much mourn her death as he respected her for her loyalty, missed her for what she'd contributed to the team. He knew Jack had put a great deal of faith in the woman, despite the fact that he'd never cared for her and that loosing her had hurt Jack nearly as much as losing the others. (They'd lost Tim only a few months before the attempted Sontaran take-over. They'd nearly lost Martha during the attack. London had been hit hard.)

Sometimes it was hard to look at Wendy… Abby… now Rhys and Gil, and not feel guilty because he still had Jack. He would always have Jack. _But Jack won't always have me… _

"Do you ever think about leaving?" the older man's question jarred him from the unpleasant turn his thoughts had taken—Ianto had promised himself that they were going to enjoy themselves this weekend. They'd earned it.

He blinked up at the question; he was unaware that he'd been near tears. "Leaving? You mean leaving you? Never."

Jack smiled and brushed his hand across his cheek. "I meant you and me, the kids, just…just leaving. Getting out of here. Never coming back."

"Where would we go? There's no place on earth…" then he paused, understanding the question for what it really was, what Jack was really saying to him. Asking him. He knew by his tone that he was serious, if he said yes… "Abby would never forgive us if we left, I hope you know that," he told him with forced levity. If he didn't force a smile he was sure he'd tell Jack the truth, that there was nothing he'd love better than to pack up and find some quiet little planet somewhere, someplace that had never been visited by Daleks or terrorized by Cybermen and Sontarans. Someplace where he didn't go into work everyday wondering if that would be the day his husband became a widower… wondering if he'd live to see Seren's or Jason's next birthday.

Wondering what his daughter was going to look like when she grew up because he knew with certainty that he wouldn't live to see it… Just the same, he knew that if they left, he'd be eaten up alive by guilt within two days because the others would go on without them.

And Jack was looking at him as if he realized what he was really thinking. After ten years of marriage, it was entirely possible that he did know. "We can't leave Jack. Earth needs us. It needs you. Torchwood needs you."

Jack just nodded without comment. He didn't have to comment, Ianto knew what he was thinking, wondering if it was really all worth it. They saw so much death.

After Bobby, they'd hired a new medic; she died only two years in…Cybermen… her replacement was still with the team, though. He was a young ginger with a thick Northern accent; he was twice as snarky as Owen Harper but just as brilliant as him—as dedicated as Bobby…as any of them. All of them.

Others had been hired in… died… new members recruited to take their places on the team…

"It's a nice thought though, isn't it?" Jack asked at last, breaking the silence what was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable.

"Yeah. Yeah it's a fantastic thought," he agreed, leaning into him, laying his head against his shoulder and letting the hot sudsy water soothe his body. He wasn't as young as he used to be.

Jack wrapped his arms around his shoulders and held him tight, seeming to being enjoying himself just as much as his partner was. "You know I'm not really going to hire your nephew, right?" he asked after a few more moments (of this time decidedly comfortable silence) had passed between them.

Ianto looked up at him. "Why not?"

His husband gave over a surprised look.

Ianto supposed he understood it; he didn't ever want to have to stand on his and Wynn's front porch and have him look at them the same way Rhys had… Gil… either. However, "He'd make a good addition to the team," he told him matter of factly. It wasn't just that despite the familial relationship, Kae's resume and cover letter had been presented with formal professionalism that rivalled Ianto's. (When Kae had asked his uncle how he'd gotten the job, Ianto had decided not to mention pterodactyls or coffee and had suggested he submit a resume instead.) "I think you should at least consider him, Jack," he said. He declined to remind the other that their ranks were currently down by three. Jack didn't need reminding.

"Are you sure you really want me to?" he asked with sincerity.

"We all came into this knowing what we were getting into. Losing people hurts—it's hard on all of us. Harder on you," he added. "Kae knows what he's asking for. He understands the risks involved."

"You sure about that?"

Despite his own pain over their losses over the years, Ianto told him that yes, he was sure. "None of them—none of _us_—would go back and do things differently, Jack, I know you know that." It was why Abby was still with them, even after losing Tim, why Wendy didn't quit after Bobby died. Why the rest of them were still there. Why he refused to quit, no matter how many times Jack asked him to. Another year… another ten years… it didn't matter. He would take whatever time they had. He wouldn't quit just to make his life safer.

Jack swallowed hard. "I'll look at his resume when we get back to Cardiff," he promised.

Ianto nodded—and realized he was turning prunny. "You hungry at all?"

Jack flashed a devilish little grin at him. "I could go for a late night snack…"

"I was talking about room service," the younger man intoned, causing the other to laugh.

"I'll bet they have pineapple on the menu," he hinted.

"I'm not as young as I used to be, Jack."

"How can you be too old to eat pineapple?"

"It's not the pineapple I'm worried about. It's the _plate_," he gave over a significant look.

Still laughing, Jack drew him into his arms and held him tight, despite the fact that the water was getting cold around them. "I'll always love you," he whispered softly. "And I promise, I will never, ever forget you, Ianto Jones-Harkness."

"And I won't forget to empty the bins," Ianto teased him lightly, because coming from him, he knew that was as good as saying 'I love you', but easier on the immortal than promising that he would love him forever, too. _Even when the last star goes out._


	124. Everything Has its Time

A/N

Yes, it's been FOREVER since I've posted anything and yes, I have other stories that I need to finish. But this was a special request that I've been meaning to get to…and okay, I wanted to be able to do a one-off chapter because I'm so insanely busy lately.

**Visit my website between December 16-December 18 for details on a super cool Blog Hop giveaway I'm taking part in. Up for grabs are prizes from 195 authors (romance), many of us who write m/m. I'm giving away a signed copy of my debut novel, _Heart's Home_, and a victorian insprired tree ornament (_Heart's Home_ is set in Victorian England, and is pretty much what you would expect from me, just a little "hotter" than you'd see here-and the awesome editing team at Dreamspinner Press has beaten my punctuation into shape!) My website is Helenpattskyn dot com. **

Also, please, pretty please consider joining me for an online chat to celebrate the release of _Heart's Home _(but really, I'll talk about anything you want to!) on Christmas Eve Day (December 24), from 1-6pm Eastern Standard Time (here in the U.S.) I'll be camped out in front of my laptop, at my in-law's and would REALLY love the cyber company! If you stop by and say "hello", you'll totally make my day. More details at my website, but again the quick and dirty of it is that you need to sign up at Goodreads (goodreads dot com), and join the Dreamspinner Press group. (Dreamspinner is my publisher—and they are awesome. Seriously, anyone who likes steamy m/m action needs to check them out.)

I hope everybody has seen/remembers the Doctor Who episode: _Gridlock_.

..

**Everything Has its Time**

**..**

"_Be glad today. Tomorrow may bring tears. Be brave today. The darkest night will pass. And golden rays will usher in the dawn."_

Sarah Knowles Bolton

..

The air felt… cool. How long had it been since he'd felt the wind? The sun? _Any_ sun.

Only there was no sun, for he was behind closed doors. No wind blew. The air smelled of… death. Always death.

Always other people's deaths.

But not this time. This time it would be his own, death. A final death.

And he was afraid. He'd come to understand—to believe—that something lay beyond the darkness, but… what if that something was only for other people? What if the only thing waiting for him was… nothing.

Empty blackness. What if _that_ was the tradeoff for immortality, for being a fixed point in time? What if—

As if sensing his fear—or perhaps understand that his death was at hand—Novice Hame touched him. It felt _so_ good to be touched. To feel. To breathe.

To die.

"Doctor?" a voice from the past, the far, far distant past, called out to the Time Lord kneeling next to him. He couldn't remember the woman's name…Manda… Mary… _Martha._

Only he hadn't met her yet. Or rather, she hadn't met him.

Topsy turvy, timey wimey. He almost smiled.

"Over here," the Doctor called her over.

The slender Black woman rounded the corner. "Doctor! What happened out there?" Her smile faltered when she saw him. "What's that?"

What indeed? A giant head? Oh, if she only knew. What a field day she would have teasing him about his ego. He missed… damn. He missed her.

Torchwood.

Martha was a part of Torchwood. _His_ Torchwood.

_Bobby… Mickey Mouse… Abbey…Sara…_ names without faces in his memory.

_Ianto._ His beautiful Welshman.

Their daughter, Seren.

Ahh, the trouble she would cause the Doctor someday when she travelled with him!

But Martha didn't know any of those people yet. She didn't know him. He had to remember… where were the Doctor and Martha in their timeline?

"It's the Face of Boe," the Time Lord told his companion. "It's all right. Come say hello. And this is Hame. She's a cat. Don't worry."

Martha looked dubious. She must have just met the Doctor then; she didn't seem quite comfortable around aliens. Oh the things she would see in her future…

The Doctor went on, "He's the one who saved you, not me."

The pronouncement made Martha only marginally more comfortable.

_It's good to see you again, to put a face to your name._

It wasn't the only face, the only name he had for her. Another time, another life, she'd been called something else… Roberta, he thought it might have been.

It was a name inexorably intertwined with the name Kam Anders.

"My lord gave his life to save the city," said Hame. "And now he's dying"

"No, don't say that, plenty of life left," the Doctor argued, his voice thick with grief, even though he didn't know the whole of it, didn't know that someday he would be the best man at a wedding, or help a nervous couple get to a time and place where they could have a child… that one of the last acts of this regeneration would be to break a desperate Captain out of detention and get him back to his family when it seemed as if he would never see them again.

"Who is he?" Martha asked.

The Doctor shrugged. "I don't even know. The legend says the Face of Boe has lived for billions of years. Isn't that right? And you're not about to give up now."

"Everything has it's time. You know that old friend, better than most."

"The legend says _more_," Hame reminded the Doctor. The Face of Boe smiled. Hame was a smart girl. She understood what the stories meant.

"Don't," the Doctor warned. "There's no need for that."

Smart _and_ stubborn, Hame continued, heedless of the Time Lord's protests. "It says that the Face of Boe will speak his final secret to a traveller."

"Yeah, but not yet. Who needs secrets, eh?"

He turned his gaze to his friend's face. He wished he could say more, but… _Spoilers._ Ahhh yes. Spoilers.

Or more to the point, _no_ spoilers.

He couldn't alter the past. His past. Another's future. He knew the warning would be understood too late, but there were some things that simply had to unfold. "I have seen so much. Perhaps _too_ much," he told the Time Lord. "I am the last of my kind. As you are the last of yours, Doctor."

"That's why we have to survive, both of us. _Don't go_," the Doctor pleaded.

He understood what wasn't said: _don't leave me all alone._ Alone was something he knew all too well… but he had used up the last of his life force to save the city, the people down below. It had taken… everything. He met the Doctor's gaze dead on. "I must. But know this Time Lord: you are not alone." _Please try to understand…_ he closed his eyes, welcoming the darkness.

Fearing what he would find.

Crossing over into… emptiness.

It felt… cold.

Unbearably cold.

He was alone.

He shuddered.

He could feel… his body. His old body.

A pair of rings hung on a chain around his neck. In the real world, the living world, the rings were long gone, gone to dust just like the bones of every one he'd ever know. Ever loved. Here, in the dark, he clutched onto them, onto the memories of a past he never wanted to forget.

_I will always love you._

_I will never forget you._

"Don't forget to empty the bins."

Jack's eyes snapped open.

"Cariad."

Faces in the dark… a sweet blond boy with brown eyes and tattooed wrists… a red head welcoming him in at two o'clock in the morning… a tall dark haired man serving him coffee and pineapple danishes… so many others… but finally… one face. Grey blue eyes.

"A red UNIT cap," he whispered.

"A suit." The other countered, stepping closer.

"Welsh vowels."

"All two of them," he teased, laughing.

Jack smiled. "Chocolate chip cookies."

"A perfect cup of coffee—if I do say so myself."

Jack's grin became a lascivious smirk. "That stopwatch."

"Lots of things you can do with a stopwatch. _Sir_."

"Oh yeah." They were so close, they were almost touching.

"Pineapples—and whipped cream." His Welshman drew him into his arms.

"And whipped cream," Jack echoed, just before pressing a searing kiss to his husband's lips.

...

"_The dawn is not distant, nor is the night starless; love is eternal.__"_

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


End file.
